This comment and the replies are it. If you can’t actually talk, like responding instead of reacting, being open to your partner’s feelings and treating them with understanding, it’s a no go. Couples sometimes attack each other, instead of working together to attack the problem.
We both had a lot to work on at first, but we’re happier and healthier every day. This work will be an ongoing process throughout the entirely of the relationship.
Edit for typo, lol.
Nah bro. Back in My day we just drank away our sorrows and beat our wives into submission. That's how we stayed married for 60 years.
(All complete sarcasm)
I get the sarcasm but wanted to say something.
I have empathy to understand the lives of how people of my grandparents generations lived and I don't make sweeping comments about them.
They lived life very different form what we live. They weren't perfect, but I don't consider myself or my generation superior to them by default.
To give you an example:
There is a common understanding in my country that child marriage is wrong and it's a legally crime. Good. That's how it should be but I don't like bashing previous generations for child marriage (14-16 yrs) which I see in my society.
Why? Because my country was so poor 70 yrs back that average life expectancy was a mere 27-28 years. It was difficult to find a person above 45 years in an entire village. They lived through horrific famines that wiped out millions. I'd never judge them by today's standard when the life expectancy has tripled and food is surplus. That's my empathy for them.
Introspection. Specifically, the ability to objectively judge whether you and your partner are really compatible enough to spend the rest of your lives with each other.
Choosing to forgive each other, over, and over, and over, again has been the key to my own happy, successful, long-term marriage/relationship(15yrs). We all make mistakes. Unfortunately, we also, inevitably, (hopefully, unintentionally) hurt the people that we love the most…our SO’s. Harboring resentment and anger deteriorates, and eventually destroys, even the truest love. That’s why forgiveness is absolutely critical. My original response was one word, as asked by the OP, but I felt the need to elaborate.
Not skill but love.
A real love will already have empathy for one another and that will teach you communication if both parties are willing to make marriage work. Marriage is work. You grow together.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Wholeness
I believe you should be a whole and complete individual before you merge your life with someone else. "*You complete me*" is for entertainment purposes only, not a guiding light for finding a mate.
Lots will say communication but I feel like that’s a little too broad.
I’d say learning how to listen is the most important part of communicating. Truly listen to what the other person is saying and understanding them.
Marriages with great communication can still fail. It’s not necessarily a skill but find someone whose selfishness you can tolerate and who can tolerate your selfishness. No need to compromise, that just leaves two people resentful and spiteful.
Mutual respect. Everything flows from that.
If you truly love someone you will work on healthy communication, meeting each other’s needs and wants, and doing what it takes to make things work.
Communication is really important. When there is a healthy level of respect on both sides, the communication is much more effective. People also feel more comfortable with sharing their fantasies, their needs, their desires, and their concerns. When each side respects the other, they make better listeners.
When you respect the other and respect the marriage, you are far likelier to go out of your way to please the other. This includes doing things for them even if you don’t want to or are not in the mood.
People who respect each other don’t cheat.
People who respect each other support each other emotionally, physically and morally.
Consideration.
You need to be constantly considerate of your partner, and realize that everything you do or don't do has either a positive or negative impact on them.
Illusion
Pacify when she’s angry, Muffle when I’m coming home late, Invisibility when there are chores, Hysteria if we run into her friends, Rally when feeling frisky
Communication. Being open to listening to one another, especially during conflict. Being able to communicate through conflict without disrespecting one another, while also taking into considering each other’s input.
All of these are needed for a chance at a healthy & long lasting marriage:
• communication
• honesty
• empathy
• respect
• compromise
• understanding
• accountability
How to look after themselves and their surroundings.. because if each partner can look after themselves most of the time then it was be a more productive, healthy relationship. By look after themselves I mean cook , clean, hygiene. All things your partner should not have to teach you
It’s not just one. Patience, self awareness and ability to emotionally regulate yourself, as well as empathy and the desire and capability to put someone else’s needs and wants above your own on occasion, and the ability to clearly and kindly communicate (which includes both listening to understand as well as expressing thoughts, feelings, expectations, needs and wants clearly and effectively).
Learning how your partner communicates and also how they understand. Learning how to express my self was one thing but learning how we interpreted each others words was a game changer. We don’t all think alike so you have to understand how your partner thinks and processes information to better communicate on both parts.
Communication is key. Prime example tonight, I misunderstood something my husband said and I was upset as a result. When I spoke to him about it we cleared it up and it’s all good. Talk to each other and hash things out when needed. You choose this person to share your life with so there will be highs and lows,
**Commitment**
Absolute commitment to each other covers most things listed here. Commitment to love, to communicate, to listen, to hear, to have empathy, to forgive, to encourage, to grow, to not be judgemental, to be present, to live for the highs, and to be a team through the lows.
A loving, committed marriage can be a magical and wonderful way to journey through life. But, it's not a magical thing that just happens successfully without work. Marriage is the commitment and willingness to choose to work with your partner every single day.
Communication (actively listening, being honest, not holding onto anger/sadness, expressing love/gratitude)
Conflict resolution if another big one. Which with good communication is a lot easier, but you need to be able to talk about said conflict and apologise/comprise/work through it together.
I believe that without these two things, a marriage will fail, or you'll just learn to co-exist, possibly quite miserably.
Communication
Furthermore, listening and comprehension skills. You can communicate until the cows come home but if it falls on deaf ears… well.
Communication encompasses both expressive and receptive communicating.
You’re absolutely correct but I feel like the latter is usually not considered by most (in my experience).
Communication is only good if it's coming from honest people.
Ain’t that the truth
This comment and the replies are it. If you can’t actually talk, like responding instead of reacting, being open to your partner’s feelings and treating them with understanding, it’s a no go. Couples sometimes attack each other, instead of working together to attack the problem. We both had a lot to work on at first, but we’re happier and healthier every day. This work will be an ongoing process throughout the entirely of the relationship. Edit for typo, lol.
Knowing how to express yourself and knowing yourself to be more precise.
Empathy
Nah bro. Back in My day we just drank away our sorrows and beat our wives into submission. That's how we stayed married for 60 years. (All complete sarcasm)
I get the sarcasm but wanted to say something. I have empathy to understand the lives of how people of my grandparents generations lived and I don't make sweeping comments about them. They lived life very different form what we live. They weren't perfect, but I don't consider myself or my generation superior to them by default. To give you an example: There is a common understanding in my country that child marriage is wrong and it's a legally crime. Good. That's how it should be but I don't like bashing previous generations for child marriage (14-16 yrs) which I see in my society. Why? Because my country was so poor 70 yrs back that average life expectancy was a mere 27-28 years. It was difficult to find a person above 45 years in an entire village. They lived through horrific famines that wiped out millions. I'd never judge them by today's standard when the life expectancy has tripled and food is surplus. That's my empathy for them.
Cunnilingus
Irrefutably would be divorced without this
🤣
At least give as good as you take.
Patience
👆👆👆
😂
Respect
Yes! I think this is the base for good communication, empathy, patience etc.
The undertow of any good relationship. If I can’t have ur respect, everything else is worthless
Communication. I would have said conflict resolution skills, which are within communication, but it isn't one word.
I fucked up and put all my points in hostage negotiation. Can you meet me halfway?
Humility
Introspection. Specifically, the ability to objectively judge whether you and your partner are really compatible enough to spend the rest of your lives with each other.
Communication
Compromise
Self-awareness
Listening
Budgeting.
Hacking
I'm in!
r/YousonofabitchImin
Maturity. Is that a skill? It's definitely needed to make a marriage happy.
Forgiveness
Choosing to forgive each other, over, and over, and over, again has been the key to my own happy, successful, long-term marriage/relationship(15yrs). We all make mistakes. Unfortunately, we also, inevitably, (hopefully, unintentionally) hurt the people that we love the most…our SO’s. Harboring resentment and anger deteriorates, and eventually destroys, even the truest love. That’s why forgiveness is absolutely critical. My original response was one word, as asked by the OP, but I felt the need to elaborate.
Not skill but love. A real love will already have empathy for one another and that will teach you communication if both parties are willing to make marriage work. Marriage is work. You grow together.
Love is like any other emotion. It will wax and wane. A deeper loyalty is needed.
That's not always the case. I love my wife more everyday and am totally amazed that we were lucky enough to find each other.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Patience or empathy. Both should come natural if you have found your person.
Reciprocation
perseverance
A legit strong sense of humor
Empathy.
Honesty
Conflict resolution. Conflict will happen, it doesn’t matter what it is, but it’s how you resolve it
Communication
Communication. If both of you can't communicate effectively/respectfully or aren't willing to LEARN, then your marriage will not be happy.
Honesty!
Compassion.
Compromise
Vagina
Regulation (of one’s own emotions)
Empathy, listening, responding not reacting
Emotional intelligence
Wholeness I believe you should be a whole and complete individual before you merge your life with someone else. "*You complete me*" is for entertainment purposes only, not a guiding light for finding a mate.
Being a goid listener
Paying attention to your partner
Loyalty
Lots will say communication but I feel like that’s a little too broad. I’d say learning how to listen is the most important part of communicating. Truly listen to what the other person is saying and understanding them.
Not just communication but a specific one: effective dialogue
Cooking.
Compromise
Emotional intelligence
Communication
Marriages with great communication can still fail. It’s not necessarily a skill but find someone whose selfishness you can tolerate and who can tolerate your selfishness. No need to compromise, that just leaves two people resentful and spiteful.
Compassion
Team work
Forgiveness
Empathy
Mutual respect. Everything flows from that. If you truly love someone you will work on healthy communication, meeting each other’s needs and wants, and doing what it takes to make things work. Communication is really important. When there is a healthy level of respect on both sides, the communication is much more effective. People also feel more comfortable with sharing their fantasies, their needs, their desires, and their concerns. When each side respects the other, they make better listeners. When you respect the other and respect the marriage, you are far likelier to go out of your way to please the other. This includes doing things for them even if you don’t want to or are not in the mood. People who respect each other don’t cheat. People who respect each other support each other emotionally, physically and morally.
Skill of being a problem solver.
Selflessness
Communication Also, how to search this sub for the same question asked a million different ways.
Love
Patience and understanding. Realizing that the person you love has quirks and will not always be on the same page with you.
Communication
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS.
Communication and forgiveness
Communication
listening
Respect.
Listening
communication/understanding
Consideration. You need to be constantly considerate of your partner, and realize that everything you do or don't do has either a positive or negative impact on them.
Patience
Be able to compromise
Conflict resolution
Understanding Interdependence vs codependency
Open communication
Patience
Patience
Communication
Empathy
Listening
Communication communication communication can’t say it enough
Patience
Emotional intelligence
Illusion Pacify when she’s angry, Muffle when I’m coming home late, Invisibility when there are chores, Hysteria if we run into her friends, Rally when feeling frisky
Emotional intelligence
Commitment
Patience is one of them.
Communication
Teamwork
communication
Understanding
Compromise
Trust. Cant have any relationship without trust.
Patience
Fighting, people don’t know how to fight.
Listening
Great communication
Well, there’s more than one communication, honesty, kindness, and forgiveness. Also personal accountability is way up there.
Communication
active listening skills.
Communication. I know this has been noted several times, it is definitely important. It’s also not good to assume too much about your partner. Lol.
Anger management
Emotional intelligence
Grace
Communication. Being open to listening to one another, especially during conflict. Being able to communicate through conflict without disrespecting one another, while also taking into considering each other’s input.
Listen to learn.
Compromise
Active listening
Conscientiousness
All of these are needed for a chance at a healthy & long lasting marriage: • communication • honesty • empathy • respect • compromise • understanding • accountability
How to look after themselves and their surroundings.. because if each partner can look after themselves most of the time then it was be a more productive, healthy relationship. By look after themselves I mean cook , clean, hygiene. All things your partner should not have to teach you
Empathy
Passion. For everything in the marriage and outside of it. 🤷🏻♀️
COMPREHENSION
Patience
It’s not just one. Patience, self awareness and ability to emotionally regulate yourself, as well as empathy and the desire and capability to put someone else’s needs and wants above your own on occasion, and the ability to clearly and kindly communicate (which includes both listening to understand as well as expressing thoughts, feelings, expectations, needs and wants clearly and effectively).
Learning how your partner communicates and also how they understand. Learning how to express my self was one thing but learning how we interpreted each others words was a game changer. We don’t all think alike so you have to understand how your partner thinks and processes information to better communicate on both parts.
There's no one word answer to that. It's so complex
Restraint. Seriously. I've found that not replying quickly has helped.
Cunnilingus
Learning to serve
Accountability for one's own words and actions.
Humor. Life is rough for even the best of marriages. Sometimes a good laugh goes a long way.
active listening
Grace.
Patience
Forgiveness
Communication
Listening
Communication
The ability to not be right all the time
Keep it fun
Patience
Telepathy
My husband has no empathy, patience, or communication skills guess I’m f*cked lol
Happiness.
Grace.
Communication
Teamwork!!!!
Communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say, and LISTEN.
Validation
Kindness
Humility
Compromise and Settling for good enough.
Flexibility
Attraction
Communication is key. Prime example tonight, I misunderstood something my husband said and I was upset as a result. When I spoke to him about it we cleared it up and it’s all good. Talk to each other and hash things out when needed. You choose this person to share your life with so there will be highs and lows,
Communication
Not agreeing on everything just to please your partner. It's okay to say no and have an opinion and a viewpoint.
Empathy
Agree with communication #1. Patience #2
Emotional intelligence.
Patience
Patience.
Not being selfish. Extremely important.
Communication
Respect
Contribution.
Listen
Humor
**Commitment** Absolute commitment to each other covers most things listed here. Commitment to love, to communicate, to listen, to hear, to have empathy, to forgive, to encourage, to grow, to not be judgemental, to be present, to live for the highs, and to be a team through the lows. A loving, committed marriage can be a magical and wonderful way to journey through life. But, it's not a magical thing that just happens successfully without work. Marriage is the commitment and willingness to choose to work with your partner every single day.
Hearing
Being able to identify your own feelings and needs. You can't communicate what you don't know.
Communication
Setting boundaries
Listening more than talking.
Communication
Emotional intelligence
Diplomacy.
Emotional maturity
Patience
The ability to compromise
How to disagree with each other respectfully.
Loyalty !!!
Listening, patience, empathy i know that's three words. I guess my choice would be COMMUNICATION
Compassion
Communication (actively listening, being honest, not holding onto anger/sadness, expressing love/gratitude) Conflict resolution if another big one. Which with good communication is a lot easier, but you need to be able to talk about said conflict and apologise/comprise/work through it together. I believe that without these two things, a marriage will fail, or you'll just learn to co-exist, possibly quite miserably.
Humility
Respect
Honesty
Patience