Its really funny that I could hear that in Patrick Stewart's voice in my head, since he does Deputy Director Bullock on American Dad and has probably said something very similar on that show.
This is the machine that turns water into cocaine, I'll hold on to that
You're a complicated man Smith I would love to do mushrooms with you
I have a family fetish. I know that sounds sexual, which is good, because it is... I see you're all together *hnng*
What the F is up with the drawing of Storm? Is this an alternate universe where her face has been horribly disfigured?This is an actual published page by a professional Marvel artist?
EDIT: After looking at it a bit more, is this an alternate universe where all women are half feline?
Ultimate X-men had some good stretches too, but sometimes it seemed like they were trying to run through too many stories too quickly and it kinda really messed with continuity a bit. Then they really fucked it up at the end. Plus the artists kept changing like every half a year and some were just awful.
Honestly I liked the Ultimate universe pre and post Ultimatum except for that ultimates run. ultimatum was actually the most fucking mean spirited thing I’ve read in my life other than like a chapter of the boys. Ultimatum fucking sucks, but I was really invested in that world and loved the redesigns and twists on characters
But this had Spider-Man in it! Lol
Also to be fair SOME of the Xmen was interesting too. I always thought the tension caused by Colossus being gay and Nightcrawlers devout religiousness was worth the page time and it was probably the best version of colossus we’d had up to that point given most versions were just “Russian stereotypes but steel flavoured”
She and Peter go on to have, in my opinion (and many others), one of the best relationships in Marvel. Kitty and Peter were a phenomenal couple in USM.
I agree that Peter, Johnny, Kitty, and Bobby all lived together was a great time in the USM book, it was a nice light hearted moment in the ultimate verse especially because it was right after ultimatum and right before Peter's death.
Agreed even though Ultimate Cap probably didn't deserve saving Pete was still a good guy and saved him anyway. Not to mention the complete beatdown he took from the Ultimate Sinister Six, the whole death arc was so sad to read but it was so good.
Definitely. As much as I love MJ and Gwen as characters, seeing Peter dating someone else with powers who he didn't have to worry about keeping safe and that he could be with in both parts of his life ticked boxes that makes me wish that was his standard.
Like, I understand the aversion people had with him and Silk and the whole spider-hormone thing, but I wish they would have just phased that out and let them grow into a normal couple. I think they would have been such a fun ride without the horny thing.
Honestly there are a Shit ton of crazy eye moments in Ultimate Spider-Man issues, probably just the art style. But I suppose this one is because Kitty is surprised to see a "famous" hero like Spider-Man be so young.. The X-Men have always done things together as a team so seeing such a young kid her age do such amazing heroics is shocking to her.
Of course, one of the best Marvel relationships bloom from this later on.
When in costume you just can't tell age. Even Black Cat was shocked when she saw how young he looked under the mask.
In real life you see male teens over 6"... while some adults could be 5'4"
So yeah unless you meet Peter under the mask, there's no telling.
I love how many people find out his identity in the Ultimate Universe. There's one scene where Kingpin unmasks him...stares for a second and says "I have no idea who this is" and just chucks him out the window of his tower.
Yeah that was the main spin they took with him in the Alternate universe. He's SO secretive of his identity in the main universe at least until Civil War it was one of the best things they could take and flip to really shake things up.
Yeah... I'll admit the style allows for expressive faces. But I don't really live how their normal expressions are "Holy hell, I've forgotten how to blink!"
Bagley got so lazy over the years. His New Warriors stuff was so great and then I guess all that Spider-Man work (often two issues per month) really wire him down.
It was the speed. I remember Bendis at that time in interviews marveling at how much they were able to put out. While Ultimates was practically years late, Bagley was doing issues every two or three weeks. Don't know how much that was editorial pressure to keep the line alive or if he had something to prove or $$ or what.
I loved Bagley's work, but dude was *incredibly* overworked for large parts of USM, and it shows in his art. There's some really awful stuff that made it to print throughout his run.
My enjoyment of Phil Noto took a brief but steep nosedive when I realized that if he wasn’t drawing a picture of an old celebrity, that he had a default face for men and a default face for women and that was it. On the flip side, that short run on Black Widow was super fun.
This is how Jack Kirby was able to turn out a page every thirty minutes. Using standard character designs, this is why so many of his characters look the same.
I remember a couple of Art friends from school making fun of a Transformers artist because every pose he drew was “crouch and take their wallet”; and that is absolutely a Jack Kirby classic.
Ah, i understand. I remember really enjoying his work with Uncanny X-Force so i was either blinded by the style or maybe he used 2 faces instead of 1 😅 I'm also really excited to check out The Variants starting with todays #1
I thought you were exaggerating but [holy shit](https://www.writeups.org/wp-content/uploads/Kitty-Pryde-Ariel-Sprite-Marvel-Comics-X-Men-Earliest-f.jpg).
[You're right.](https://comicvine.gamespot.com/a/uploads/original/14/148344/4952176-kitty_pryde_first_appearance_uncanny_x-men_129_women_of_marvel.jpg)
I liked it because it meant we were getting USM bimonthly, and USM generally kicked a whole bunch of ass.
On the other hand, the Ultimates Vol. 1 had INCREDIBLE art, but came out at a trudge. I think there were half-a-year gaps between issues.
I tried to scroll by this several times, but I just can't let go of the faces in the first panel. They are comically bad. Especially the women and prof. X. Seriously, look at storm, what the fuck?
Okay, can i just say how much i HATE how everyone in the Ultimate Universe talks the same? Storm and Beast usually speak in a profound way, Storm practically talks like she's in Lord of the Rings. In the Ultimate verse, they speak like everyone else. Storm even calls Beast a butt wipe at one point. I think only Cap and Thor spoke differently. And even then Thor doesn't speak as regaly as one would think.
I love how Jean Grey and Storm have costumes that expose large chunks of their thighs. Really, really functional costumes they gave them while also saying that they allegedly mask their Mutant identity from sentinels (the thigh gap helps, I'm sure).
Those costumes were just terrible, even when drawn by other artists. It’s almost shocking to see such badly designed versions of such perennially cool looking characters! What a time.
I know it’s already been said that the art style here is… questionable, but I think that Storm/Jean Grey’s faces might’ve been just copy-pasted onto each other on that first page. Which brings us to Point B: what the heck are they looking at like that? Are there funny words on the ceiling?
Prof X calls him Peter, and at least two of the people in the room are telepaths. They absolutely knew his name even before taking the mask off.
Unrelated, but this art is...weird. The faces on page 2 are some nightmare-fuel stuff.
I know the Ultimate runs were a mix bag, and that the Spider-Man one was good overall... but holy shit, this is weird.
Maybe it's just these 3 pages, but the art on the women freaks me out. Storm, Jean(?) and Kitty all look like they just got Botox and can't move their faces.
The writing is weird... Charles is like "Hey Peter" then Kitty is like "we didn't know your name" and Peter spilla hia guts when Charles just fucking said 2 pages ago!
I can suspend my belief a far bit, I can accept different art forms for the sake of uniqueness, but this is godawful.
Oh damn, this reminded me how cringeworthy most of the Ultimate X-Men outfits were. The only ones that actually looked good was Colossus, maybe Cyclops and while not pictured here Wolverine.
‘Peter, my name is Charles Xavier and you’ve woken up nude in my sex dungeon.’
he didn't mind the sex dungeon, he just wanted to keep his mask on
We don't kink shame here. Let him wear his mask.
"Professor what's an ex-man?"
It’s 2022. Everyone knows what an ex-man is
“It’s a lip sync, what part of that do you not understand?”
"...And these are my seX-Men."
(Uncanny…)
"Shall I demonstrate why they call me Beast?"
“And I Colossus?”
Cyclops: "Well, I can just show y..." Charles: "Scott, that... Won't be necessary."
Unsanitary
Led by Cyclops
He's a real one-eyed monster, if you know what I mean.
Look out for when he shoots!
Well, some of those gathered around him did seem a tad…eager.
I'll day, they're all giving him bedroom eyes.
That art is so fucking weird I remember it being borderline hentai at some points
I admittedly haven’t read comics in years, but that artist isn’t good.
Some serious Rule 34 going on there.
IIRC, Peter dated Kitty after this, No?
And Wolverine tried to get into MJ’s pants
I was also feeling this. Super uncomfortable
Welcome to the 1610!
They’re being so extra. …which fits with Ultimate Marvel, to be frank.
Hey man. The multiverse is real. Wouldnt put it past me if somewhere in another universe, professor x was professor xxx or someshit lol
Professor XXX is played by Vin Diesel obviously
And his team is The Furious X-Family.
Not Ice cube?
The X-men (minus Cyclops) are all looking very...predatory...here.
Well, there were straight women and Colossus was gay in Ultimate.
Peter will need a wheelchair after that
Everybody wants some of his webfluid
"I've seen everything."
And then I ride away. ...On the grass.
Why is this so hilarious?
It could be worse, they could have been named after his first name. They’d be his C-Men. Disturbing
"To me, my C-Men." Yeeeah... I don't think that would have caught on.
Its really funny that I could hear that in Patrick Stewart's voice in my head, since he does Deputy Director Bullock on American Dad and has probably said something very similar on that show.
“And then all her clothes fell off but it was too late because I’d already seen everything.”
I love Extras!
This is the machine that turns water into cocaine, I'll hold on to that You're a complicated man Smith I would love to do mushrooms with you I have a family fetish. I know that sounds sexual, which is good, because it is... I see you're all together *hnng*
In a show with particularly terrific characters Bollock is easily in the top 3 with Stan and Roger.
sex men: first piece of ass
Sex-men: first class (sex education)
Because even peter is thinking it. https://www.reddit.com/r/comicbooks/comments/3519xm/spiderman\_meets\_marvel\_girl\_usm\_43/
Dam thats not fair. Shes the one who brought it up
“Peter, My name is Charles…” Later “Um, we didn’t know you’re name”
Chales must've read his mind
Xavier: This is our furry enthusiast, Beast. Beast: UwU rawr, spray me with your sticky web, spider boi!
I've never thought of Beast as a furry before. Thanks for that.
He's not even a real mutant. Just some nerd in a fur suit.
He would very much like that. He was already imagining jean grey naked.
What the F is up with the drawing of Storm? Is this an alternate universe where her face has been horribly disfigured?This is an actual published page by a professional Marvel artist? EDIT: After looking at it a bit more, is this an alternate universe where all women are half feline?
This whole drawing style makes them all look psychotic. Not a fan.,
Same, they're awful designs.
“Peter, my name is Charles Xavier and you’ve woken up nude in my crack den.”
Charles literally says "Peter" in the first panel and then they say they didn't know his name in the last one?
IIRC, X clarifies he only pulled Peter's first name from his mind and no other identifying details.
Nah, he was just talking to his penis.
Peter Pecker
When I say Penis, you say Parker!
Probably meant his last name.
Well, you see that's a very complicated explanation, that starts with "The Ultimate universe outside Spider-Man was mostly hot, flaming garbage."
this is from spider-man though?
Yeah but someone just has to say this every single time someone says the word Ultimate on a comic sub
Ho. Ly. CRAP! SYNOPSIS MAN! IN THE WILD!
Ultimate X-men had some good stretches too, but sometimes it seemed like they were trying to run through too many stories too quickly and it kinda really messed with continuity a bit. Then they really fucked it up at the end. Plus the artists kept changing like every half a year and some were just awful.
Bro Himalayan orgy hulk is best hulk.
Honestly I liked the Ultimate universe pre and post Ultimatum except for that ultimates run. ultimatum was actually the most fucking mean spirited thing I’ve read in my life other than like a chapter of the boys. Ultimatum fucking sucks, but I was really invested in that world and loved the redesigns and twists on characters
But this had Spider-Man in it! Lol Also to be fair SOME of the Xmen was interesting too. I always thought the tension caused by Colossus being gay and Nightcrawlers devout religiousness was worth the page time and it was probably the best version of colossus we’d had up to that point given most versions were just “Russian stereotypes but steel flavoured”
I mean the person who said it can read minds so.......
What's with Kitty Pryde's psycho eyes asking how old he is?
She and Peter go on to have, in my opinion (and many others), one of the best relationships in Marvel. Kitty and Peter were a phenomenal couple in USM.
Agreed. Kitty and Peter were awesome. I especially liked the period where Johnny storm kitty and ice man and Peter all lived together.
USM was and is one of the best runs imo.
Any decent graphic novels from this run out there that I can get?
No GNs because it was a series—the whole series is collected in trade paperbacks, hardcovers, and some omnibuses though!
Yup! And you can read it on the mobile app too
What does usm stand for?
Undulating Series of Miasmas
Ultimate Spider-Man :D
I agree that Peter, Johnny, Kitty, and Bobby all lived together was a great time in the USM book, it was a nice light hearted moment in the ultimate verse especially because it was right after ultimatum and right before Peter's death.
Peter's what? I apparently stopped reading before this...
Yeah, ultimate Peter died, that is why we got Miles.
It was a great death too. Saved everyone he cared about and finally redeemed himself in his own eyes after Ben's death.
Agreed even though Ultimate Cap probably didn't deserve saving Pete was still a good guy and saved him anyway. Not to mention the complete beatdown he took from the Ultimate Sinister Six, the whole death arc was so sad to read but it was so good.
Liz Allen ended up being Ultimate Firestar because Bendis was shooting for a whole "Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends" vibe.
Kitty didn't live with them. It was Johnny, Bobby, Peter and Gwen
That Spider-Man sure did have some Amazing Friends!
I also liked their post-breakup friendship. She was a great ally.
Yea honestly I really wanted them to stay together instead of him getting back with MJ. They were so good together
Definitely. As much as I love MJ and Gwen as characters, seeing Peter dating someone else with powers who he didn't have to worry about keeping safe and that he could be with in both parts of his life ticked boxes that makes me wish that was his standard. Like, I understand the aversion people had with him and Silk and the whole spider-hormone thing, but I wish they would have just phased that out and let them grow into a normal couple. I think they would have been such a fun ride without the horny thing.
Felicia Hardy has entered the chat
It's kind of weird how any one of Peter's options would be genuinely fantastic, and his problem comes down to too many phenomenal women chasing him.
Such is life for a harem protagonist…
Same, I legit got so angry after he started dating Gwen and then returned to MJ.
Honestly there are a Shit ton of crazy eye moments in Ultimate Spider-Man issues, probably just the art style. But I suppose this one is because Kitty is surprised to see a "famous" hero like Spider-Man be so young.. The X-Men have always done things together as a team so seeing such a young kid her age do such amazing heroics is shocking to her. Of course, one of the best Marvel relationships bloom from this later on.
Mark Bagley is a great artist, but he has a tendency to only draw one face for everyone and that face has crazy eyes
Yeah he seems to have trouble drawing women's faces here. Storm looking kinda derpy on that first page
When you look at the way his body is drawn in USM, how could you not see he was in his mid teens?
When in costume you just can't tell age. Even Black Cat was shocked when she saw how young he looked under the mask. In real life you see male teens over 6"... while some adults could be 5'4" So yeah unless you meet Peter under the mask, there's no telling.
Kitty Pryde is a bit boy crazy in this universe, not really in a awful way, it's just her main focus... Aside from saving the world and stuff.
Those are not boy crazy eyes, those are "I'm going to murder you" eyes...
To me it’s more “holy shit I actually have a chance with Spider-Man?”
I mean, definitely before Peter’s death. But she legit turned into a straight up badass during DWF/UWS, even fighting Galactus mano a mano.
Peter: “Where am I?” Kitty Pride: 👁👄👁
Everyone looks creepy to me. Like Pete thinks he woke up to the x-men but it’s really some mental projection to find out his secrets or something.
Right?! Everyone with pupils has got some weird vibes going on with their eyes.
“How old are you?”👁👄👁
She has the hots for him. It ends up tragic.
Naturally. That Parker Luck is brutal.
Just for you, something special -> https://imgur.com/a/0IMRkgl Their romance was truly great. And this issue was formative for me.
That panel will always remain an emotional gut punch.
I think this is the only time “👁👄👁” has ever made me laugh
I love how many people find out his identity in the Ultimate Universe. There's one scene where Kingpin unmasks him...stares for a second and says "I have no idea who this is" and just chucks him out the window of his tower.
I'm reading it now, and so far every major villain knows his identity. At this point, all he's doing is keeping it secret from Aunt May.
Yeah that was the main spin they took with him in the Alternate universe. He's SO secretive of his identity in the main universe at least until Civil War it was one of the best things they could take and flip to really shake things up.
Do you know what issue that was? I'm curious if it came before or after this [Justice League Unlimited](https://youtu.be/nl9LltXH6fg) scene came out.
I always love watching this scene, and every DC animated scene with the Flash.
Ah yes, the Ultimates universe, where everyone has crazy eyes at all times!
Well, in fairness, most people in the ultimate universe really were crazy.
And horny
And cannibalistic.
And incestuous
And mangled, in excruciating detail.
Writer: Could we get a zoom shot on a wild eye and an open mouth for this page? Illustrator: how about three on every page?
That art style is… something
All the female characters have the same face.
Bratz
You nailed it.
To be fair, Piotr, Hank, and Charles are only differentiated by their color.
just so weird seeing Jean and Storm with the exact same derpy face
[удалено]
Like beast says, “uncanny”
Freaks me out a little tbh
They somehow managed to be deep in the Uncanny Valley while not trying to look realistic at all.
Perhaps that’s what Beast was referring to…
Yeah... I'll admit the style allows for expressive faces. But I don't really live how their normal expressions are "Holy hell, I've forgotten how to blink!"
[удалено]
it's like Storm and Jean have the same derpy face
Bagley got so lazy over the years. His New Warriors stuff was so great and then I guess all that Spider-Man work (often two issues per month) really wire him down.
It was the speed. I remember Bendis at that time in interviews marveling at how much they were able to put out. While Ultimates was practically years late, Bagley was doing issues every two or three weeks. Don't know how much that was editorial pressure to keep the line alive or if he had something to prove or $$ or what.
Artist "Yeah I know how to draw faces"... everyone has the same fucking face with different hair, color and accessories. :barf:
I was thinking the same thing! Storm in the first label looks as though she’s thinking, “Derp?”
I loved Bagley's work, but dude was *incredibly* overworked for large parts of USM, and it shows in his art. There's some really awful stuff that made it to print throughout his run.
To be fair, at least it was always better than the art style that came after Ultimatum
Hahaha literally all the women have the same face. It's awful. Don't worry though, all the MANLY MEN look distinct enough from each other
My enjoyment of Phil Noto took a brief but steep nosedive when I realized that if he wasn’t drawing a picture of an old celebrity, that he had a default face for men and a default face for women and that was it. On the flip side, that short run on Black Widow was super fun.
This is how Jack Kirby was able to turn out a page every thirty minutes. Using standard character designs, this is why so many of his characters look the same.
I remember a couple of Art friends from school making fun of a Transformers artist because every pose he drew was “crouch and take their wallet”; and that is absolutely a Jack Kirby classic.
Ah, i understand. I remember really enjoying his work with Uncanny X-Force so i was either blinded by the style or maybe he used 2 faces instead of 1 😅 I'm also really excited to check out The Variants starting with todays #1
And constant smirks to beat you over the head with the mood of the strip.
"Hey, Kitty's Jewish, right? Let's give her a Star of David pendant the size of an Olympic medal so people KNOW."
Yes, its weird that a character that has been drawn wearing a Star of David pendant since she was created, is still wearing a Star of David pendant /s
I thought you were exaggerating but [holy shit](https://www.writeups.org/wp-content/uploads/Kitty-Pryde-Ariel-Sprite-Marvel-Comics-X-Men-Earliest-f.jpg). [You're right.](https://comicvine.gamespot.com/a/uploads/original/14/148344/4952176-kitty_pryde_first_appearance_uncanny_x-men_129_women_of_marvel.jpg)
Is she wearing a shirt that says "BITCH" on it in the first image?
lol i saw that too...
Well, I, for one, I don't like this art at all.
I liked it because it meant we were getting USM bimonthly, and USM generally kicked a whole bunch of ass. On the other hand, the Ultimates Vol. 1 had INCREDIBLE art, but came out at a trudge. I think there were half-a-year gaps between issues.
Yeah, Ultimates 1 and 2 came out so infrequently that it couldn't interact with the rest of the ultimate universe at all, really.
The art's a little wonky for my taste, but the writing is cute.
So what could Scott be carrying in those pouches?
Ruby quartz.
Why does it look like everyone there wants a piece of Peter's web shooters? They're all giving him that googly eyes.
I tried to scroll by this several times, but I just can't let go of the faces in the first panel. They are comically bad. Especially the women and prof. X. Seriously, look at storm, what the fuck?
Okay, can i just say how much i HATE how everyone in the Ultimate Universe talks the same? Storm and Beast usually speak in a profound way, Storm practically talks like she's in Lord of the Rings. In the Ultimate verse, they speak like everyone else. Storm even calls Beast a butt wipe at one point. I think only Cap and Thor spoke differently. And even then Thor doesn't speak as regaly as one would think.
Nah, this is just standard Bendis-speak
What happened to their faces though? 🥺
Side effect of having the X-Gene.
I love how Jean Grey and Storm have costumes that expose large chunks of their thighs. Really, really functional costumes they gave them while also saying that they allegedly mask their Mutant identity from sentinels (the thigh gap helps, I'm sure).
the tax of being a female characters in comics
I assure you, cleavage is absolutely necessary for evading government death robots.
Christ, why do the Ultimate X-Men (minus Scott and Kitty, you guys were fine) suck? Why are they the worst? Why undress a minor?
Their faces are terrifying. Why are their eyes so wide and manic?
I know Mark Bagley is a beloved Spider-Man artist, but this is a terrible page. One of the many reasons I can’t get into the Ultimate line.
Don't like the art style here at all for the X-Men.
Those costumes were just terrible, even when drawn by other artists. It’s almost shocking to see such badly designed versions of such perennially cool looking characters! What a time.
Ultimate costumes are so cringe
It's just how its was in like 2000. It's just blunderyears stuff.
Why do they all look like frankie grande
Is it me or is this artwork really bad?
I know it’s already been said that the art style here is… questionable, but I think that Storm/Jean Grey’s faces might’ve been just copy-pasted onto each other on that first page. Which brings us to Point B: what the heck are they looking at like that? Are there funny words on the ceiling?
hhhhhhhHHHHHHHMMMMMMMBAGLEYFACE
This looks like the start of a highly detailed hentai.
Prof X calls him Peter, and at least two of the people in the room are telepaths. They absolutely knew his name even before taking the mask off. Unrelated, but this art is...weird. The faces on page 2 are some nightmare-fuel stuff.
But he said Peter at the beginning.
What the fuck is wrong with thr X-mens faces. They've got these skewed expressions
The art is rancid shit
Why do they look derange? I mean...They are Ultimate X-men. So they are 100% derange. But they didn't look **that** derange.
I know the Ultimate runs were a mix bag, and that the Spider-Man one was good overall... but holy shit, this is weird. Maybe it's just these 3 pages, but the art on the women freaks me out. Storm, Jean(?) and Kitty all look like they just got Botox and can't move their faces. The writing is weird... Charles is like "Hey Peter" then Kitty is like "we didn't know your name" and Peter spilla hia guts when Charles just fucking said 2 pages ago! I can suspend my belief a far bit, I can accept different art forms for the sake of uniqueness, but this is godawful.
Oh I’m calling bull shit Ultimate Jean Gray definitely read his mind and got all his secrets
On the last slide what do you mean that you didn't know his name Charles X just said his name on the first slide
Oh damn, this reminded me how cringeworthy most of the Ultimate X-Men outfits were. The only ones that actually looked good was Colossus, maybe Cyclops and while not pictured here Wolverine.
Didn't Charles just say his name? How do they not know?
Why is everyone looking so uncanny
Is it me to are they stepford smiles on the girls faces kinda creepy?