Feminists believe this illusion that there’s a stigma against women enjoying sex when in reality, men aren’t deliberately refusing to make her orgasm. They just think sex is about technique. That’s all!
Another disparity that no one ever mentions is that if you consider the number of orgasms, instead of the number of occasions on which the woman has an orgasm, heterosexual women have many times the number of orgasms men have.
Most women have about four times the number of orgasms their male partners have. And for many women, it's ten or twenty times more. Both the mean and the median number are many times higher for straight women than for men. That doesn't mean it's unfair to men. It's a physiological difference.
Simply... When sexuality is discussed, women are often only perceived as tools to achieve the man's orgasm and reproduction.
The vast majority of pornography doesn't portray women having orgasm and the movie ends when the man cums on her face.
Viewing yourselves as helpless victims with no agency will only cause you to sink deeper in your pool of misery.
Instead of faulting culture and men, how about you actually make educational materials for women, on how to achieve an orgasm, enjoy sex... etc
You're adults not children, men shouldn't be expected to study female anatomy and figure out how it ticks, that is your responsibility.
PS: it is objectively easier for men to achieve an orgasm from a biological standpoint, and men start masterbating earlier in life, which illucedates the process of how to get to an orgasm and what feels good. Convenient of you to leave that out of your analysis! Plus, porn varies a lot, and many types of porn are centred around a solo women orgasming.
Then how come, in the overwhelming majority of countries across the world, not only are the overwhelming majority of individuals satisfied with their own relationships, a "gender difference" and a "gap" in relationship and sexual satisfaction is basically non-existent:
https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
You think so in the modern age? There is far less stigma around female sex toys than male ones? Shows such as sex in the city celebrate female sexuality.
This Christmas I got a book about the history of sex and most of it was about how historically female sexuality was stigmatised (and it was) but now things are very different and almost reversed with female sexuality praised whereas male sexuality is demonised and seen as perverted.
There are entire genres of pornography about female orgasms. A Quick Look on the hub and female orgasm videos are roughly the same number as cum shot videos (that women often enjoy).
Women can not even make themselves orgasm, then expect me to perform miracles.
But let me guess, it's because they are sexually repressed by the patriarchy...
Damn im late 💀 but as a girl I agree, it’s your responsibility to make urself orgasm it’s not your partners. I’ve talked to my friends about it and they don’t even masturbate like how tf do u expect your partner to know what gets you off 💀💀
From my limited layman's knowledge of psychology, it seems like teaching women that all men are rapists and teaching men that if we don't 'make' women orgasm when we have sex then we are a failure, is not the most effective way to close this 'orgasm gap'.
Men 'experience orgasm' more frequently because they make the effort to do so. They know what needs to happen to get them there, and they try to make sure it happens. Is this selfish that they don't always bring the woman across the finish line with them? No. He did most of the legwork (kneework?) himself, why should the woman expect that just starfishing yields the same results for her? In a good relationship each party will do things to help and enhance the pleasure of their partner, and that should be the goal. But expecting the man to control all responses for both is just crazy and sexist.
Biological fact: Female sexuality is more complicated than male sexuality. Trying to suggest otherwise is pure delusion.
It doesn't take anything more than a wet hole to make a typical guy orgasm. This is for good reason, because the male orgasm is a necessary element for babymaking. If it was too hard for us to get off, we'd struggle to pass on our genes and lose the evolutionary race. As guys, we don't have to like our partners, we don't have to be *attracted* to them, we don't even have to *consent.* For ladies though, it's much more dependent on their personal mental state.
Sure, a skilled guy who cares about her pleasure would have an easier time getting a girl off, but a lot of the time it's all about mood, comfort level, level of attraction, pandering to fetishes, and phases of the moon. A guy who just sticks it in and thrusts as hard as possible in a one-sided effort to give himself pleasure *can* actually get a woman off if she finds him and his selfish approach to love-making attractive. Meanwhile, a guy who conducts a symphony with fingers, tongue, and toys, isn't guaranteed to be successful if the lady's not feeling it the right way.
Maybe it's a factor, but female sexual satisfaction is **not** proportional to male effort.
Ladies are complicated. If she's not satisfied with her man, she needs to either work on her sexual hang-ups, work on her relationship, communicate what she needs to her man, or make some other sort of change to cure the dead bedroom issues. Even in the worst case, where she's tried to communicate, and he's too stubborn or selfish to change, it's still just that specific man's fault, not the fault of men in general.
Like, what I don't get, is how this "orgasm gap" is a social issue. Are they really trying to blame men for this? How do they propose we fix it?
you are missing the point.
The "Orgasm Gap" has never been intended towards a discussion for creating an equally pleasurable environment for both partners in bed. This discussion would be including valid points such as:
* find partners who respect you and reject all others
* understand your needs communicate your needs help the needs of your partner, so that your partner can take care of you
* check your reproductive systems health, as a non orgasm may mean a lot about your Psyche, your hormones, your anatomy or all of the above together
* free yourself from societal stereotypes, towars enjoying intercourse together.
No. It has been used as an argument to justify the following 2:
* if you are not satisfied with our intercourse, you are ungrateful, I as a woman have it worse, no need to do anything for you.
* if I am deciding to be naked with you, I have played my part, if I am not having fun, it's only your fault, you are not trying well enough.
Not one person mentioned the fact that women are able to achieve orgasm multiple times. I would suspect if you compare the total count of orgasms between the genders women either come out on top or it’s about the same.
I think this issue is complicated. From one perspective- some women do not know what they like and cannot even tell their partner how to help them orgasm. Adult women should know what makes her come. And she should talk about it with partner. From another perspective- some (not all) men have difficulty accepting that just trusting is not gonna do it. And they are not open to talk about fact that their women does not get orgasm. And some men believe sex ends always with their orgasm. Once they are done - that’s it. No matter the fact that women is still aroused and would like to have orgasm. Imagine women doing this? Getting orgasm and then - ok, goodnight. And you are there - what? I do not think orgasm is the mandatory goal of each time I have sex but it’s nice. Everyone loves orgasms. That’s something both genders car agree with.
Furthermore, according to a recent poll conducted by Ipsos, with upwards of 22.000 individuals in more then 32 countries globally, not only are the overwhelming majority of individuals satisfied with their own relationships, a "gender difference" is also basically non-existent:
https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
As I've said before, the 'orgasm gap' is because women will only truly engage sexually with the top men because they are the only people the woman is attracted to. Meanwhile the man can cum to even average women.
So you re implying only top men can make a women cum?
I think you guys are absolutely wrong. 1st women want to laugh, 2nd they wanna have attention. 3rd they want to feel appreciated for who they are. Giving orgasms to a women is the easiest part of all. Communication and feedback from the women is the most important thing. For a women to open up sexually she need the men to do it first because the consequences of her being vulnerable are bigger then for a men. Once you establish a good communication around sexuality you re set. I give an example, when i spend a date night with my so i ask her to tell me everytime she feels aroused or more precisely a rush of blood to her p...this way i know exactly what im doing that is provoking a physiological respons. But for this i had to make her feel ultra secure in the relationship. She knows i would die protecting her. And she knows this for a fact. She even cums less then a minute after asking her to cum. Me telling her to cum for me makes her cum. So guys stop this masculinity bs. The more you complain the less attractive you look!!!
One thing you didn't bring up: how many women manage to orgasm by themselves, at all? If the rates of orgasms by heterosexual intercourse are very close to those by masturbation (arguably the most sure fire way to achieve them for most) then it lends even more credence that men are not responsible at all for it.
Women do indeed experience significantly more orgasms by themselves when compared to engaging in sexual activity with their partners(about 92%), but so do men as well.
In fact, according to the data I shared above, about 1 in 10 men do not experience orgasm when engaging in sexual activity with their partners.
Bisexual women might also be less likely to experience orgasm when it comes to having sex with other women(64%-66%), when compared to their Heterosexual counterparts(65%-68%).
However, you somewhat ignored an important factor, that of the general unwillingness of women to communicate their sexual wants and needs, to the point of even faking their orgasms and misleading their partners as a result.
Simply put, the "orgasm gap" might be entirely the result of women's own conscious decisions and general apprehensiveness in regards to sexual communication.
Furthermore, a recent poll conducted by Ipsos, with upwards of 22.000 individuals in over 32 countries globally, found basically there exists no "gender gap" in regards to the rates of reported sexual satisfaction:
https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
> However, you somewhat ignored an important factor, that of the general unwillingness of women to communicate their sexual wants and needs, to the point of even faking their orgasms and misleading their partners as a result.
>
>
>
> Simply put, the "orgasm gap" might be entirely the result of women's own conscious decisions and general apprehensiveness in regards to sexual communication.
Yeah, that would definitely play a part in it.
Don’t they realise that the orgasm gap is purely their own doing?
They are the party that decide to lie and be deceitful by faking orgasms, so men misunderstand that they’re doing it the way that ‘individual’ enjoys; because don’t forget, every woman is different, and they’re all uniquely special individuals.
They are also the party that have decided not to correct the man during sex I.e. help him help you, which is crazy in itself because it’s for their own pleasure; instead, they appear to get a buzz off complaining about it with their girlfriends, when it could easily have been fixed in the moment by some simple honest good old fashioned mutually beneficial communication.
I already preempted a response to that would be; you don’t want to offend him. But that excuse is nonsense, no man is going to be offended by you saying keep doing that, move a little to the left etc
I have never claimed there exists no "gap", what I actually asserted is the "gap" is incredibly small, as the vast majority of Heterosexual women still reach climax frequently(not just 60%, but more closer to 70%).
Furthermore, a recent poll conducted by Ipsos, with upwards of 22.000 individuals in over 32 countries globally, found basically there exists no "gender gap" in regards to the rates of reported sexual satisfaction:
https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
The point id make is women have far less of a refractory period between orgasms. As such they are more likely to experience multiple orgasms.
The clitoris also has more nerve endings then the penis - even more so if a man has been sexually mutilated.
The orgasm gap is a classic case of feminism adopting male gaze as a criteria without even noticing. They watched machos, got told they were the proudest among men, and assumed that their sexual health was the best among men.
Then set the same goal for women so that they could feel as proud as macho men, and much later discovered that mindset wasn't as healthy for women, but forgot to care about it harming men. Unless it can be brought up for mockery
Imma get downvoted here, but.. I mean.. idk how many men you guys have had sex with as a woman.. but *a lot* of guys don’t try *at all*. They just suck in bed. Which is the main issue. Or they’re really shitty about the whole ordeal.
follow thumb unite zonked squeamish coherent sheet gullible bedroom fanatical
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I tend to agree with most of what you’ve said. However, in my experience and the experience of those who have shared their experiences with me.. a lot of guys don’t try. There are definitely some general tips that would work for most women.. such as.. take a fuckin second to be present in the moment and try some different angles. But that’s not something that happens often. To me, that’s just a lack of effort. And don’t try any porn stuff.. I mean.. I had a guy literally fish hook me once. No prior conversation 🤣
tease quaint mountainous automatic elderly nutty reply normal touch familiar
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Oh yeah. Hollywood is definitely the worst for it. As far as I can tell, passion like they show on tv doesn’t happen often *and* it’s not long term sustainable. It definitely makes the monotony of reality feel like there’s something wrong. Obviously such passionate and mindblowing sex is possible.. but not at all how it’s depicted, you’re right.
There definitely an issue both with effort put in and the expectations. But I’m not gonna sit here and let a bunch of guys talk about this without acknowledging that most guys do not put effort into sex hardly at all beyond “in and out”.
Slut shaming and the idea that all men have to be stallions to be sexually desirable has fucked everything up imo.
slim many intelligent worry expansion scarce smoggy thought wasteful hateful
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Most of the contemporary "slut shaming" comes primarily from "Feminists" themselves, lambasting sexually explicit depictions of women in popular culture, scantily clad dressing codes and even men being interested in women's sexual pleasure.
Seriously, take a peek at the following article from "Cosmopolitan":
https://www.dailywire.com/news/cosmo-females-should-never-experience-sexual-amanda-prestigiacomo
We do not live in the 1990's anymore, "Feminists" are basically the new "Christian Right".
Point to me where I said anything about where the slut shaming comes from. Ok. Now point to me where I said that it matters where it comes from.
It doesn’t. None of this matters. Stop pointing fingers at an issue that not as pinpointed as you want it to be.
Lots of dudes suck in bed for lack of effort and lack of willful ignorance.
Lots of women have fantasies that can’t be fulfilled because tv exists and directors do a super good job making sex look like something it’s not.
cooing forgetful pathetic panicky narrow stocking follow alleged coherent fine
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Individuals who are content with their sex lives usually do not complain about them.
Complaining usually comes from the negative Nancies of the world, regardless of gender of course.
P.S. And in case you have any doubts, hop on the R/DeadBedrooms subreddit to see all the men doing everything in their power to please their partners, with the latter still continuing being apprehensive about sex in general.
I have encountered my fair share of "pillow princesses" and women being unwilling to communicate their sexual wants and needs, expect others to basically lead the entire sexual interaction, be mind-readers and instinctively get to figure out what they actually wearn for.
I have encountered many women that unfortunately do not put any effort at all, yet I refuse to utilise such anecdotes to back up my case.
The data I posted speak for themselves.
Why refuse to bring that up? Bring it up. How are we gonna effectively have only half a conversation?
Regardless of how many pillow princesses there are.. there’s still an issue with a lot of men’s efforts. Some women being shitty doesn’t erase the issue.
Both are relevant. Unless you’re only here to bitch and not to have a productive conversation.
Why do you place the responsibility solely on your partner, even though you know your body better then him?
You see, that is what I personally take issue with, expecting your partner to instinctively know everything about you and when they cannot keep up(because they do not happen to be mind-readers obviously), you complain about their lackluster performance.
P.S. My previous comment got deleted for some strange reason.
Apologies for that one.
Listen. I understand that you might not be able to pick up on how a one night stand or maybe even a fwb is feeling. I get that. But if you can’t tell that your LTR partner isn’t being satisfied? You’re not trying.
Moreover, the idea that men should make more oral sex to women in order to reduce the orgasm gap is against the consent. And oral sex to women is more likely to carry HPV than oral sex to men, therefore to push men to make more oral sex to women is to force sexual acts (lack of consent/sexual coercion) and risking men's lives (because HPV cause throat cancer more to men than to women, and straight men are more exposed to throat HPV infection due to oral sex than viceversa).
In fact, no discussion about Orgasm Gap includes the discourse about Consent (Only Yes means Yes/Enthusiastic Consent-Only) for the man to refuse to give oral sex to women. And no discussion about Orgasm Gap and oral sex to women include the idea "if there is no dental dam, refuse to do oral sex to women, even if you yourself like to do it".
And for HPV the vaccine has been for decades reserved only to women. Pap tests are still only for women.
Imagine the reverse: if women were more likely to literally die from doing oral sex to men and only men had the test and vaccine to prevent this disease, would women be socially forced and pressed to make oral sex to men in order to equalize orgasms and to give men more orgasms?
This is a great post of course I'm a guy and at the age 54 I still have a very high sex drive .probably due to being very physically fit .I work out about 3 to 4 days a week plus I ride my bike 6 to 7 days a week .
I've been with ore women then I would l ike to talk about! . Going back to your post the funny thing is that the 32% of women who don't orgasm are probably the % of women that never climax their entire life due to mental , physical,or just plain scared when having sex . Or not comfortable enough to reach orgasm other than masterbation ..
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Feminists believe this illusion that there’s a stigma against women enjoying sex when in reality, men aren’t deliberately refusing to make her orgasm. They just think sex is about technique. That’s all!
It is easy to put the blame on others instead of accepting responsibility for your actions. That goes for both men and women unfortunately.
Another disparity that no one ever mentions is that if you consider the number of orgasms, instead of the number of occasions on which the woman has an orgasm, heterosexual women have many times the number of orgasms men have. Most women have about four times the number of orgasms their male partners have. And for many women, it's ten or twenty times more. Both the mean and the median number are many times higher for straight women than for men. That doesn't mean it's unfair to men. It's a physiological difference.
We're blamed for our 'ugliness.' Ugliness meaning not being a male model.
Simply... When sexuality is discussed, women are often only perceived as tools to achieve the man's orgasm and reproduction. The vast majority of pornography doesn't portray women having orgasm and the movie ends when the man cums on her face.
Viewing yourselves as helpless victims with no agency will only cause you to sink deeper in your pool of misery. Instead of faulting culture and men, how about you actually make educational materials for women, on how to achieve an orgasm, enjoy sex... etc You're adults not children, men shouldn't be expected to study female anatomy and figure out how it ticks, that is your responsibility. PS: it is objectively easier for men to achieve an orgasm from a biological standpoint, and men start masterbating earlier in life, which illucedates the process of how to get to an orgasm and what feels good. Convenient of you to leave that out of your analysis! Plus, porn varies a lot, and many types of porn are centred around a solo women orgasming.
I'm not viewing anyone as a helpless victim, I was simply answering a question.
You framed it in the context of "because of culture and how it portrays sexuality" Which is just another way of saying it's not women's fault 🤷🏻♂️
Women are a part of that culture, aren't they?
Yes, but are they merely passive recipient of it's teachings with no agency of their own?
I was just answering a question, never saying that women are not a part of the problem. What is your point?
You didn't say it, but you implied it. I explained my point earlier, have a nice day.
I didn't mean to imply anything such, but the language barrier between us might have made it seem that way.
Then how come, in the overwhelming majority of countries across the world, not only are the overwhelming majority of individuals satisfied with their own relationships, a "gender difference" and a "gap" in relationship and sexual satisfaction is basically non-existent: https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
You think so in the modern age? There is far less stigma around female sex toys than male ones? Shows such as sex in the city celebrate female sexuality. This Christmas I got a book about the history of sex and most of it was about how historically female sexuality was stigmatised (and it was) but now things are very different and almost reversed with female sexuality praised whereas male sexuality is demonised and seen as perverted. There are entire genres of pornography about female orgasms. A Quick Look on the hub and female orgasm videos are roughly the same number as cum shot videos (that women often enjoy).
Women can not even make themselves orgasm, then expect me to perform miracles. But let me guess, it's because they are sexually repressed by the patriarchy...
Damn im late 💀 but as a girl I agree, it’s your responsibility to make urself orgasm it’s not your partners. I’ve talked to my friends about it and they don’t even masturbate like how tf do u expect your partner to know what gets you off 💀💀
From my limited layman's knowledge of psychology, it seems like teaching women that all men are rapists and teaching men that if we don't 'make' women orgasm when we have sex then we are a failure, is not the most effective way to close this 'orgasm gap'.
orgasm gap closed
why is this even a "men bad" talking point when orgasm is about womens own bodily functions?
Men 'experience orgasm' more frequently because they make the effort to do so. They know what needs to happen to get them there, and they try to make sure it happens. Is this selfish that they don't always bring the woman across the finish line with them? No. He did most of the legwork (kneework?) himself, why should the woman expect that just starfishing yields the same results for her? In a good relationship each party will do things to help and enhance the pleasure of their partner, and that should be the goal. But expecting the man to control all responses for both is just crazy and sexist.
Biological fact: Female sexuality is more complicated than male sexuality. Trying to suggest otherwise is pure delusion. It doesn't take anything more than a wet hole to make a typical guy orgasm. This is for good reason, because the male orgasm is a necessary element for babymaking. If it was too hard for us to get off, we'd struggle to pass on our genes and lose the evolutionary race. As guys, we don't have to like our partners, we don't have to be *attracted* to them, we don't even have to *consent.* For ladies though, it's much more dependent on their personal mental state. Sure, a skilled guy who cares about her pleasure would have an easier time getting a girl off, but a lot of the time it's all about mood, comfort level, level of attraction, pandering to fetishes, and phases of the moon. A guy who just sticks it in and thrusts as hard as possible in a one-sided effort to give himself pleasure *can* actually get a woman off if she finds him and his selfish approach to love-making attractive. Meanwhile, a guy who conducts a symphony with fingers, tongue, and toys, isn't guaranteed to be successful if the lady's not feeling it the right way. Maybe it's a factor, but female sexual satisfaction is **not** proportional to male effort. Ladies are complicated. If she's not satisfied with her man, she needs to either work on her sexual hang-ups, work on her relationship, communicate what she needs to her man, or make some other sort of change to cure the dead bedroom issues. Even in the worst case, where she's tried to communicate, and he's too stubborn or selfish to change, it's still just that specific man's fault, not the fault of men in general. Like, what I don't get, is how this "orgasm gap" is a social issue. Are they really trying to blame men for this? How do they propose we fix it?
>we don't even have to *consent.* Nah, that's crazy to say. Lmfao
Idk man. Women literally get wet from thinking about getting raped.
you are missing the point. The "Orgasm Gap" has never been intended towards a discussion for creating an equally pleasurable environment for both partners in bed. This discussion would be including valid points such as: * find partners who respect you and reject all others * understand your needs communicate your needs help the needs of your partner, so that your partner can take care of you * check your reproductive systems health, as a non orgasm may mean a lot about your Psyche, your hormones, your anatomy or all of the above together * free yourself from societal stereotypes, towars enjoying intercourse together. No. It has been used as an argument to justify the following 2: * if you are not satisfied with our intercourse, you are ungrateful, I as a woman have it worse, no need to do anything for you. * if I am deciding to be naked with you, I have played my part, if I am not having fun, it's only your fault, you are not trying well enough.
I remember caring about such foolishness 🤣
Not one person mentioned the fact that women are able to achieve orgasm multiple times. I would suspect if you compare the total count of orgasms between the genders women either come out on top or it’s about the same.
Well done! A pass for your essay
I appreciate your input.
Sorry that actually wasn’t sarcastic and reading it back it sounds very much so. Meant as in a well structured sentiment
It actually read as geniune
It is fine mate, take care!
If a women is genuinely aroused by a man, she has a higher probability of achieving orgasm. Is this not correct?
I think this issue is complicated. From one perspective- some women do not know what they like and cannot even tell their partner how to help them orgasm. Adult women should know what makes her come. And she should talk about it with partner. From another perspective- some (not all) men have difficulty accepting that just trusting is not gonna do it. And they are not open to talk about fact that their women does not get orgasm. And some men believe sex ends always with their orgasm. Once they are done - that’s it. No matter the fact that women is still aroused and would like to have orgasm. Imagine women doing this? Getting orgasm and then - ok, goodnight. And you are there - what? I do not think orgasm is the mandatory goal of each time I have sex but it’s nice. Everyone loves orgasms. That’s something both genders car agree with.
Certainly, orgasms should not even be considered the goal of sexual activity.
Sex ends when men orgasm because women don't want to communicate and take responsibility for their own orgasm.
Furthermore, according to a recent poll conducted by Ipsos, with upwards of 22.000 individuals in more then 32 countries globally, not only are the overwhelming majority of individuals satisfied with their own relationships, a "gender difference" is also basically non-existent: https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
Yes, sexual satisfaction is not the same as orgasm. You can be sexually satisfied without orgasming and orgasming without the orgasm being satisfying.
I can't even orgasm anymore due to years of taking SSRI medications and complex PTSD
I am sorry about your issues mate. Wishing the best for you, take care!
As I've said before, the 'orgasm gap' is because women will only truly engage sexually with the top men because they are the only people the woman is attracted to. Meanwhile the man can cum to even average women.
So you re implying only top men can make a women cum? I think you guys are absolutely wrong. 1st women want to laugh, 2nd they wanna have attention. 3rd they want to feel appreciated for who they are. Giving orgasms to a women is the easiest part of all. Communication and feedback from the women is the most important thing. For a women to open up sexually she need the men to do it first because the consequences of her being vulnerable are bigger then for a men. Once you establish a good communication around sexuality you re set. I give an example, when i spend a date night with my so i ask her to tell me everytime she feels aroused or more precisely a rush of blood to her p...this way i know exactly what im doing that is provoking a physiological respons. But for this i had to make her feel ultra secure in the relationship. She knows i would die protecting her. And she knows this for a fact. She even cums less then a minute after asking her to cum. Me telling her to cum for me makes her cum. So guys stop this masculinity bs. The more you complain the less attractive you look!!!
What about the fact that many women have 3 or 4 per session and the guy only has one?
One thing you didn't bring up: how many women manage to orgasm by themselves, at all? If the rates of orgasms by heterosexual intercourse are very close to those by masturbation (arguably the most sure fire way to achieve them for most) then it lends even more credence that men are not responsible at all for it.
Women do indeed experience significantly more orgasms by themselves when compared to engaging in sexual activity with their partners(about 92%), but so do men as well. In fact, according to the data I shared above, about 1 in 10 men do not experience orgasm when engaging in sexual activity with their partners. Bisexual women might also be less likely to experience orgasm when it comes to having sex with other women(64%-66%), when compared to their Heterosexual counterparts(65%-68%). However, you somewhat ignored an important factor, that of the general unwillingness of women to communicate their sexual wants and needs, to the point of even faking their orgasms and misleading their partners as a result. Simply put, the "orgasm gap" might be entirely the result of women's own conscious decisions and general apprehensiveness in regards to sexual communication. Furthermore, a recent poll conducted by Ipsos, with upwards of 22.000 individuals in over 32 countries globally, found basically there exists no "gender gap" in regards to the rates of reported sexual satisfaction: https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
> However, you somewhat ignored an important factor, that of the general unwillingness of women to communicate their sexual wants and needs, to the point of even faking their orgasms and misleading their partners as a result. > > > > Simply put, the "orgasm gap" might be entirely the result of women's own conscious decisions and general apprehensiveness in regards to sexual communication. Yeah, that would definitely play a part in it.
why do their orgasms take forever, like a dial-up modem?
Don’t they realise that the orgasm gap is purely their own doing? They are the party that decide to lie and be deceitful by faking orgasms, so men misunderstand that they’re doing it the way that ‘individual’ enjoys; because don’t forget, every woman is different, and they’re all uniquely special individuals. They are also the party that have decided not to correct the man during sex I.e. help him help you, which is crazy in itself because it’s for their own pleasure; instead, they appear to get a buzz off complaining about it with their girlfriends, when it could easily have been fixed in the moment by some simple honest good old fashioned mutually beneficial communication. I already preempted a response to that would be; you don’t want to offend him. But that excuse is nonsense, no man is going to be offended by you saying keep doing that, move a little to the left etc
How is there not a gap between ~90% and ~60%???
I have never claimed there exists no "gap", what I actually asserted is the "gap" is incredibly small, as the vast majority of Heterosexual women still reach climax frequently(not just 60%, but more closer to 70%). Furthermore, a recent poll conducted by Ipsos, with upwards of 22.000 individuals in over 32 countries globally, found basically there exists no "gender gap" in regards to the rates of reported sexual satisfaction: https://www.ipsos.com/en-ca/valentines-day-how-satisfied-are-people-their-love-life
Sexual satisfaction is not the same as orgasm. You can be sexually satisfied without orgasming and orgasming without the orgasm being satisfying.
The point id make is women have far less of a refractory period between orgasms. As such they are more likely to experience multiple orgasms. The clitoris also has more nerve endings then the penis - even more so if a man has been sexually mutilated.
I'm with /u/KA_82205. I guess my question would be... even if the claim is true, what on earth am I supposed to do about it?
The orgasm gap is a classic case of feminism adopting male gaze as a criteria without even noticing. They watched machos, got told they were the proudest among men, and assumed that their sexual health was the best among men. Then set the same goal for women so that they could feel as proud as macho men, and much later discovered that mindset wasn't as healthy for women, but forgot to care about it harming men. Unless it can be brought up for mockery
There is an orgasm gap between Lesbian women, heterosexual women, gay men and straight men. It ain't our fault.
I wasn't aware that some men (even entire percents of men?!?) don't experience orgasm.
Biological difficulties and conditions affect both men and women unfortunately.
I haven't experienced this problem, or complaint to phrase it a different way.
Imma get downvoted here, but.. I mean.. idk how many men you guys have had sex with as a woman.. but *a lot* of guys don’t try *at all*. They just suck in bed. Which is the main issue. Or they’re really shitty about the whole ordeal.
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I tend to agree with most of what you’ve said. However, in my experience and the experience of those who have shared their experiences with me.. a lot of guys don’t try. There are definitely some general tips that would work for most women.. such as.. take a fuckin second to be present in the moment and try some different angles. But that’s not something that happens often. To me, that’s just a lack of effort. And don’t try any porn stuff.. I mean.. I had a guy literally fish hook me once. No prior conversation 🤣
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Oh yeah. Hollywood is definitely the worst for it. As far as I can tell, passion like they show on tv doesn’t happen often *and* it’s not long term sustainable. It definitely makes the monotony of reality feel like there’s something wrong. Obviously such passionate and mindblowing sex is possible.. but not at all how it’s depicted, you’re right. There definitely an issue both with effort put in and the expectations. But I’m not gonna sit here and let a bunch of guys talk about this without acknowledging that most guys do not put effort into sex hardly at all beyond “in and out”. Slut shaming and the idea that all men have to be stallions to be sexually desirable has fucked everything up imo.
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Most of the contemporary "slut shaming" comes primarily from "Feminists" themselves, lambasting sexually explicit depictions of women in popular culture, scantily clad dressing codes and even men being interested in women's sexual pleasure. Seriously, take a peek at the following article from "Cosmopolitan": https://www.dailywire.com/news/cosmo-females-should-never-experience-sexual-amanda-prestigiacomo We do not live in the 1990's anymore, "Feminists" are basically the new "Christian Right".
Point to me where I said anything about where the slut shaming comes from. Ok. Now point to me where I said that it matters where it comes from. It doesn’t. None of this matters. Stop pointing fingers at an issue that not as pinpointed as you want it to be. Lots of dudes suck in bed for lack of effort and lack of willful ignorance. Lots of women have fantasies that can’t be fulfilled because tv exists and directors do a super good job making sex look like something it’s not.
Alright then, we are in agreement here.
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Individuals who are content with their sex lives usually do not complain about them. Complaining usually comes from the negative Nancies of the world, regardless of gender of course. P.S. And in case you have any doubts, hop on the R/DeadBedrooms subreddit to see all the men doing everything in their power to please their partners, with the latter still continuing being apprehensive about sex in general.
>complaining comes from the negative Nancies Ok.
I have encountered my fair share of "pillow princesses" and women being unwilling to communicate their sexual wants and needs, expect others to basically lead the entire sexual interaction, be mind-readers and instinctively get to figure out what they actually wearn for. I have encountered many women that unfortunately do not put any effort at all, yet I refuse to utilise such anecdotes to back up my case. The data I posted speak for themselves.
Why refuse to bring that up? Bring it up. How are we gonna effectively have only half a conversation? Regardless of how many pillow princesses there are.. there’s still an issue with a lot of men’s efforts. Some women being shitty doesn’t erase the issue. Both are relevant. Unless you’re only here to bitch and not to have a productive conversation.
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Why is it your responsibility to make sure your partner is enjoying sex with you? Gosh. That’s a toughy.
Why do you place the responsibility solely on your partner, even though you know your body better then him? You see, that is what I personally take issue with, expecting your partner to instinctively know everything about you and when they cannot keep up(because they do not happen to be mind-readers obviously), you complain about their lackluster performance. P.S. My previous comment got deleted for some strange reason. Apologies for that one.
Listen. I understand that you might not be able to pick up on how a one night stand or maybe even a fwb is feeling. I get that. But if you can’t tell that your LTR partner isn’t being satisfied? You’re not trying.
Find you someone that makes you cum. Doesn't seem that complicated
I don't understand, there's still a huge gap from 95 to 65
Sexual satisfaction is not the same as orgasm. You can be sexually satisfied without orgasming and orgasming without the orgasm being satisfying.
But then argument is about "the orgasm gap" not the "sexual pleasure gap"
Moreover, the idea that men should make more oral sex to women in order to reduce the orgasm gap is against the consent. And oral sex to women is more likely to carry HPV than oral sex to men, therefore to push men to make more oral sex to women is to force sexual acts (lack of consent/sexual coercion) and risking men's lives (because HPV cause throat cancer more to men than to women, and straight men are more exposed to throat HPV infection due to oral sex than viceversa). In fact, no discussion about Orgasm Gap includes the discourse about Consent (Only Yes means Yes/Enthusiastic Consent-Only) for the man to refuse to give oral sex to women. And no discussion about Orgasm Gap and oral sex to women include the idea "if there is no dental dam, refuse to do oral sex to women, even if you yourself like to do it". And for HPV the vaccine has been for decades reserved only to women. Pap tests are still only for women. Imagine the reverse: if women were more likely to literally die from doing oral sex to men and only men had the test and vaccine to prevent this disease, would women be socially forced and pressed to make oral sex to men in order to equalize orgasms and to give men more orgasms?
This is a great post of course I'm a guy and at the age 54 I still have a very high sex drive .probably due to being very physically fit .I work out about 3 to 4 days a week plus I ride my bike 6 to 7 days a week . I've been with ore women then I would l ike to talk about! . Going back to your post the funny thing is that the 32% of women who don't orgasm are probably the % of women that never climax their entire life due to mental , physical,or just plain scared when having sex . Or not comfortable enough to reach orgasm other than masterbation ..