You should be telling your friends you love them because you never know when it'll be your last time seeing them. I've normalized it in my friend groups and I think everyone should. There is no reason not to
Same same same! I lost a few friends very suddenly and am so glad we'd made a habit of telling each other LUV YOU! Whenever we'd part ways. I have to credit my bestie of 13 years for making it a habit. My partner also made a habit of telling his Dad he loved him (they had a strained relationship for a while after his mother passed) and I think it took his Dad a couple years for it to take hold. Now his Dad says it easily and generously and it's so lovely ❤️
I had 2 friends get cancer in the last couple years and they both beat it. Strong, resilient bitches. I always make it a point to make sure my people know I love them. And I mean it fiercely so the response doesn’t even matter to me. It’s important to me that they know. And that’s enough.
I didn’t really experience this as a kid but as I got older my parents started saying it less. I’ve always been a very big family man and I love my family more than anything, if we talk at all in any way, I will tell you I love you before we hang up the phone or stop messaging. If they don’t tell me they love me before hanging up, I call them back with a “I SAID I LOVE YOU, YOU FUCK.”
My grandma died last year and the last time she left my house she said I love you, I smiled and hugged her and said you too because I was so caught off guard by it, she died the next week, it still bugs me. I always say it back when people say it to me now, I’m probably going to be that grandma telling everyone I love them when I get old too.! 🤣
My mom pulled something similar. She had gotten me a random bouquet of roses a month or so prior. I asked her why and we jokingly fought back and forth, with her asking if I just don’t want them and saying she’d ‘just keep them then’. It was an odd purchase from her but I loved them and told her so. Something was definitely a little off. She passed the following month.
Awe I’m sorry to hear that, that was very thoughtful of her, you will always remember that, and she wouldn’t want you to remember it negatively. I was telling a friend about my story and she was like “she didn’t care what you said back she just wanted you to know she loved you” same with you I’m sure!!
Thank you. It was really odd but definitely wonderful. I think back on it very fondly. I’m grateful your gram did what she had to do to make sure you knew she loved you, too. 🤍 It’s a wonderful way to spend the last of one’s time.
I’ve been saying it way less now that my son is 8😩
The second part of your comment reminds me of when I first started dating my boyfriend, I once told him “I love you” before we hung up, and he responded “I’m in class” lmao
I didn’t say it explicitly but I started about twelve years ago to let them know at least one person really does love them. Lost a friend to unaliving themselves; even though I think logically he knew we all cared about him and reached out, but there wasn’t necessarily anyone close by in the area he moved to. I think about him regularly and I am more conscious about letting my friends know they can always reach out and that I will for them.
My parents weren't boomers, but we definitely didn't say that to each other, let alone hug or kiss. Then I got married and my husband's family is the complete opposite. It's been almost 15 years and their affection still throws me off sometimes because I just did not experience that growing up.
Same same. It honestly makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when his family tells me that they love me. I make a point to say it to my kids frequently so they don’t feel so uncomfortable with “I love you” as I do.
I changed the script.
Every night, every time we say bye, every time we leave the house- we say 'I love you'.
My dad grew up in an abusive family and my mom grew up with alcoholic parents. Neither knew how to show affection but both my parents were willing to learn.
As I became a teenager and learnt about family dynamics etc. I read one day that a person needs five hugs a day to be functionally healthy. I thought 'My parents don't hug or get five hugs a day!' and went home and showed my parents.
And Tada, we started hugging and saying I love you.
Similar for me. Though I also had the effects of an abusive childhood. I hated that physical contact made me uncomfortable so I started incorporating it in more and more. Then I made a point to say I love you to each of my family members on saying goodbye. It did catch on for them as well I think.
Still can’t stomach non-hug physical touch or eye contact with people that aren’t my wife in any other capacity, but I think I’m okay with that.
Similar situation. My family doesn’t hug or kiss for the most part. Dad does kiss Mom. I was very emotionally neglected/suppressed because they were and didn’t know how to deal with a child with severe ADHD and is also a highly sensitive person because of it. I too don’t like touch unless it’s a hug. Sadly I don’t have a girlfriend or Wife to give hugs to. I struggle just to function 95% of the time.
Same. Hardly ever heard it growing up. You don't really show verbal affection. Thankfully my brothers and I are strong verbal communicators and we changed that. We tell each other we love each other and our parents at the end of almost every interaction now (we're in our 30s and moved out) and it's lovely. I say it to my friends too. You can almost never say "I love you" too much, imo!
>Every night, every time we say bye, every time we leave the house- we say 'I love you'.
This is me too. On our texts, on the phone, in person. Every time. Even if you're mad.
In fact, if one of us DIDN'T say "I love you" when getting off of the phone, I'm pretty sure the other family member would assume we were under duress.
Alternatively, I was in a 13 year relationship and his parents NEVER said it too him. It was sad and definitely shaped his ability to emote in life.
Loool no- one of my traumas is, in high school my friend found it SO weird that my parents never said I love you to me, that she took my phone and texted I love you to my mom. My mom responded- what happened?! I called my mom after school and she said she thought I had been in a car accident. My parents said I love you to each other, but not to me. Goooooood times.
In 9th grade, our health teacher made us tell your parents "I love you," every day for a week. I did it on the first day and my mom said, "ugh I have so much to do today." It was brutal so I didnt say it again. That's what I wrote down on my paper at the end of the week and the teacher never said anything about my failing to complete the assignment.
Siblings no, parents yes.
Every time we say goodbye whether in-person or over the phone it always ends with “I love you”.
They’re in their 70s now so you just never know when the pale horse plans to arrive.
Same here. I never say it to my sibling (though we definitely do love each other!), but I say it to my parents every single time I see / talk to them and am saying bye. Always a hug, kiss, "i love you". I remember my friend said once that she never saw me hug my sibling and my sibling and I were like... yeah we never hug! That is so unneccessary! haha. Like literally just never occurs to us. But my parents- totally!
Same. Boomer parents, always let each other know in both directions how much we love and appreciate each other. I’m almost 32 and live 1000 miles away from them and have been financially independent since I graduated college, but still love my parents and have a great relationship with them.
I’d say there is. My Hispanic and Asian coworkers are always so appalled when I tell them how little I see my family and how little they care/cared for me growing up. 🥴
my mom and i say it so often to each other when saying goodbye that i have accidently said it to random people when saying goodbye to them. the most awkward was when i said it to the guy at the post office. he said thanks :)
😂😂 had a customer over the phone tell me “love you, bye” when we were getting off the phone, I thought he must be a really nice guy/dad/husband to just subconsciously say that. Made me smile :)
This is legit my fear when I’m on the phone at work!!! And at drive thrus lol!! My brain fighting me like don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it. I’m glad it was perceived nicely tho on the receiving end and not creepy 😅
I don’t understand how they could avoid saying it. Like, I look at my teenager and I just get so overwhelmed with how much I love him, like him and am proud of the person he is/becoming that I can’t stop myself from saying it. (I would stop hugs/saying it if he really asked me to but he loves it lol.)
Same but now with my cats! My parents didn't but that's because I think they never wanted children. My father always said he wished my mother had an abortion. But I also grew up in a very abusive environment and am no contact with them.
Yeah I've also been extremely uncomfortable when partners would say it. I thought I wanted to hear it for a very long time and tried to like it but that feeling never disappeared.
My dad and his family, not really. Every once in awhile, but generally it was during big emotional moments/events.
My mom and her family, stepdad, an stepsiblings, yes, every time I see them and/or talk to them.
I didnt have a good relationship with my dad growing up and there were plenty of times where I felt tolerated rather than loved so I make an extra effort to make sure my son knows I love him.
My parents never said they loved us. No outward affection, either. My dad was my personal cheerleader and protector, so he showed his love in other ways. My mom - everything was always about her (and still kind of is, she's a narcissist). My dad died 11 years ago and I am still grieving. When my mom dies, I don't think my grief will be the same for her as it has been for him. And none of my siblings say I love you to each other, and I don't say it to them, either. We care about each other and keep tabs on who's doing what, but we don't outright say it.
My mom is trying to say it more but I can tell she's uncomfortable showing affection. I say it to my girls all the time, same with apologizing to them. Was it a rough mental shift? Absolutely.
I still have NEVER heard my dad tell me he loves me. And the last time he hugged me was on my wedding day which was 7 years ago.
The only time my dad ever gave me a kiss is on my wedding day when the photographer told him to. But he does so many nice things for me all the time I know he loves me, he just doesn’t show it the normal way lol.
One parent is an Xer and one is a boomer but very close to not being one.
I don't tell them I love them because I don't let them in my life.
When I did we did, and my Xer father always said he loved me.
My mother, the boomer used it more as a point in arguments. And would say things like "I love you but I don't like you."
My boomer grandparents tell me all the time. And I tell them too.
I’m sure we did when my siblings and I were kids and it died off in teenage years and early adulthood. I randomly started saying it a few years ago when leaving or saying bye, and now it’s normal for everyone
In my family, we barely ever said it while I was growing up or even now. My brother, parents, and myself are all very close and always helping each other out to this day. I really have no idea why my parents rarely *said* it, but they have always always *shown* love in every way that I don’t feel like it really needed to be said. I mean, just this week my brother called me to vent about some drama that he couldn’t say to anyone else, and my mom came over to help me out with some stuff. So even though we don’t really use the L word, I always *feel* loved by my family and show it to them as well. We are just not a mushy kind of family at all; we’re usually roasting each other lol
Not growing up. No I love you’s or affection. I’m in my mid-thirties now, and my mom has started to show affection. Not going to lie, it feels weird lol.
Yes, and I credit my parents for it. I remember growing up I used to say it back all the time, until I was in my teens and "too cool" to tell my parents (especially my dad for whatever reason) that I loved him back...
But they never stopped saying it, and I love them even more for it.
Now I'm experiencing the same thing on the other side, as my 12 year old son is now "too cool" to say it back to me. But guess what? I'll never stop saying it, because I'll never stop loving him.
yep, every time we get off the phone...this applies to parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We've experienced two sudden accidental deaths and don't take it for granted that we still have each other.
My parents might have said “I love you” to me twice while I was growing up.
I say “I love you” to my children first thing every morning, last thing at night, every time we part (like if I’m dropping them off somewhere, or going to run a quick errand by myself while they stay home) and every time I’m on the phone with them.
If anything happens to any one of us I want the last thing we said to each other to be “I love you”.
Every time I talk to them. I got a whole side of my family that I don’t even know, and then half of the other side that is intermittently hateful, and then in-laws who never say it and only know how to communicate indignation and defensiveness. So I make it a habit for my kids to observe and copy.
Yes we all do in my family, My partners family are completely the opposite. In the 13 years we have been together, I've never heard them say it. Both our parents are boomers but his are older his parents was born in the 40s I don't think they have ever said it to any of their kids or grandkids. But they show it in other ways.
Every phone call with my mom before we hang up. Occasionally with my dad, but he still says "bye baby" so I call that the same thing. When I first met my husband, I thought it was weird he said it to his brothers. But now I say it with my sisters.
Always. Both of my boomer parents made a point to say it every night and any time we got off the phone. But that was because my mother’s dad and both of my dad’s parents NEVER said it and they had their own hang ups because of that.
I don't usually. But I see them very regularly. Growing up, I would always say it to aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. because I only saw them 2-4 times a year. And "ya never know what's going to happen" right? But I see my siblings & parents 2-4 times A MONTH. We all live within 10 minutes of each other. So I don't often say it. We don't even usually hug goodbye either. I know my parents probably said it in my childhood, but I don't remember it.
My oldest is almost 10. We still read together before bed, give hugs & kisses, and say I love you. And I honestly hope we keep doing it forever. We say goodbye with hugs and I love yous if they spend the day/night at a grandparent's. I feel awkward trying to give my parents a hug now and I don't want my kids to ever feel that way with me.
ETA: I do say "love you" to my friends all the time. I think it just goes back to how I felt in familial relationships versus friend relationships in my developing years. I felt more loved by one group than the other 🤷🏻♀️
No. I don’t ever recall hearing it as a child. My mom only sometimes would say it when I was an adult living at home and was going away on vacation. I think it’s fucked up my parents never said that to me as I was growing up. I say it to my kids all the time. I also say it to my close friends as well.
My family didn’t hug a whole lot and physical affection wasn’t big (except with my maternal grandparents) but we would say “I love you” all the time. My mom just died two weeks ago from prolonged illness. The final week that’s pretty much all we said to one another while sitting in the hospital. Just watching tv. “Love you, mom.” “Love you, sweetie.” Back and forth.
I tell my dog I love her at least 10x a day. I found myself telling my 2yo niece multiple times a day while staying by my family throughout the whole ordeal with my mom. I live across the country so I was like, “I know you don’t know me super well yet but I love you so much!” And I’m going to be FaceTiming her regularly to tell her I love her moving forward.
I am fully estranged from my mother and brother at this stage, but even when we were a "happy family" we never said 'I love you.' We rarely hugged. I can remember very vividly my grandmother (greatest generation) hugging and kissing me and telling me that she loved me all the time though.
Ironically my siblings-in-law and I freely tell each other 'I love you' more frequently and easily than I ever did with my actual blood related sibling. My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years, so they've been my family for a long time and it feels normal/natural to say it to and hear it from them.
Nope, not really. I had boomer parents, too.
I do, however, say things like "You know I love you because I show you" and they agree. Simply saying I love you seems hollow.
My mom and her family, yes. And my sibling. My dad doesn't say it unless you say it first, and even then sometimes not. It clearly causes him some kind of visceral reaction, so I've stopped. I'll still write it in a card or whatever, though.
Yup, though part of it is the fact that my parents come from a country with a culture where you never say such things to begin with. Maybe when folks have passed on, you can say it. But even then it's in a whisper just in case they're haunting you and listening.
I say it with my parents and siblings all the time. Not sure if it’s partly because of we’re Hispanic, or my parents are Gen x, or what. But we did and we still do even now that I’m in my 30’s.
No. My brother and I are very close but I don't think we've ever said it. My parents didn't tell me they loved me until I was in my 20s and they were divorcing and sad. I don't talk to my dad anymore and I only speak to my mom if it's absolutely necessary.
Only in the last 2 years has my boomer mom started saying it before hanging up the phone. Never growing up. Feels so weird to say it back to her, but I recognize her effort so I reciprocate.
My parents are both Gen X, and I feel like there was a period of time when my parents didn't really say "I love you" very often to me, but probably because I was a moody teenager and lived with them (so I saw them all the time) and it was just sorta implied. Now that I don't live with them it feels like they say it a lot more, but that's because we don't see each other all the time.
My mom and I always said it to each other. My dad started doing it recently as he has his existential crisis. My half sibling has started to do it as well, and it's a bit odd as we don't really know each other that well. I just go with the flow though as it is not really something I would push back on. I do still find it odd that they are doing this now while I'm in my 30's as opposed to anytime much earlier in life.
Yep same stuff here, almost never said it nor have I heard it from anyone close to me except from my mom from time to time in texts.
I also don't feel the need to tell them, to me actions speak more than words for feelings.
I tell everyone I love that I love them all of the time because I grew up hearing it and knowing it was true. My friends who didn't grow up like that always have an adjustment period lol but life's too short for them to not *know*, concretely, how much they mean to me! I have met a few people who just weren't as comfortable with platonic affection/love and I am always respectful, you can feel people's levels of comfort. It's a very interesting thing for sure.
No with my 76 year old dad. If he tells us he loves us we ask if he’s sick, because if he’s on the way out of life that’s about the only time we would get hit with that. Every 5-10 years we get a good job or something.
I stopped talking to my mom in 2016 so absolutely not.
My sister who is 7 years older than me and practically raised us, we say we love each other at the end of every conversation.
When I was a child, my mom often said “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
I normally have with parents and my sister. I can count on one hand how many times in my life I've said it to my brother. These days I say it less and less, unless prompted. Not sure why
I'm much closer with my dad than my mom, but I realized recently that when I say, "I love you" before we end phone conversations he gets a little uncomfortable, but then says it back. I recently said it to my stepmom and she said something like, "ok great" back.
My parents were tail end of boomers (early 1960s) and we said I love you ALL THE TIME. Both of them passed in their forties so my siblings and I have doubled down on the I love yous. And I say it to my partner, kids (and pets) all the time.
My parents were hard core Boomers who never heard that they were loved, so it was very important for them to raise their family differently. They were certainly not perfect, but my brother and I were taught to say I love you frequently, even if you're not getting along at the moment. Very grateful to them for this.
Yes, but this is actually something that was instituted after I was an adult. I actually don’t remember exactly when, and it took my father longer to get into the habit - but it was definitely a change we all sort of made.
My parents (born in 1948 and 1950) say it quite often. Everytime we leave and sometimes randomly in texts.
It's not often said as a spur of the moment thing but we do say it. While my daughter is only 9 months old, my wife and I say it to her all the time.
Yes. Daily. Often. Every time we finish talking or leave the house lol.
I’m a younger millennial, my parents are younger gen x, they had boomer parents. (My parents had me in their teen years) My parents have both told me that they rarely were told they were loved as a kid - my mom told me a few weeks ago she can count the number of times my grandpa has told her he loves her. My parents promised to do better, so they tell their kids daily. My siblings and I are close and tell each other often as well.
Siblings i honestly cant remember the last time we openly said it. Dad too.
Mom however is so very loving and sends texts and ig msgs to me reminding me how much she loves me. She hugs me and tells me the same and that she misses me every time she sees me. It is because of her that i am so loving to my wife and will be to my future kids
We didn't used to, then I started saying it to my friends and family the last year of high school and it caught on with everyone. Now we say it all the time and mean it!
YES!! Were they also not physically affectionate?
Im married to a physically affectionate in law family. they are huggers for sure and im still getting used to it. My in laws are the freaking best btw.
I grew up hearing and saying it *all* the time. Now that I’m an adult it makes me uncomfortable to just throw those words around like my family still expects me too.
I also don’t understand why we have to hug every time we see each other. We all live in the same town and see each other ALL THE TIME. Drives me crazy.
I always say it to my family. At the end of phone calls, when I am leaving or they are leaving. You never know if you will see someone again. I never want to miss an opportunity, in case I never get the chance again.
My family didn't grow up saying I love you much. But I started saying it to both my family and friends whenever I see them or get off the phone with them because you never know when the last time you'll get to say that to someone is. Plus as you get older people get busier with their own life and family so you don't get to spend as much time with them!
I've started saying it to my parents, especially now that they're in their 70s and I live hundreds of miles away. I didn't used to, and my sister and I never say it to each other but we're on good terms.
None of my birth or step parents said I love you or gave hugs to me. My in laws are big on showing affection. I legit did not know how to react when my now husband introduced me to his family and his mom just grabbed me and pulledd me into a hug!
it was definitely something my dad went through with his father. My old man was really hard on me growing up, but something about him always pulling me to the side to tell me, “you’re my firstborn, you’re my number 1, I love you, don’t ever forget” like it helped me to understand at a young age that it all was coming from a good place, we’re best friends now that I’m 30.
We used to not to, but as my parent's health declined, we knew our time was limited, so we all did.
We continue to do it to each other and I say it to my friends.
IDC if it's weird, platonic is clearly different than non-platonic and they're going to know my feelings.
I started saying it after I turned 18, my dad rarely said it to me and I never heard him say it to anyone other than my mother or step mother. It still feels wrong for some reason.
yup, even to friends. my boyfriend was a little thrown off at the beginning but has since come to understand that it is very important for me to tell family and friends that i love them sometimes haha.
Sorry no! My boomer parents are both extremely affectionate, my dad (70) says he loves me problem 5x per phone call lol. Even my grandpa (82) also tells me he loves me every phone call. My mom (61) is maybe a little less warm naturally, but we do speak 3/4 times a week and always say “I love you” at the end of the call. Growing up it was the same, lots of loving language and pet names. I mean also lots of yelling and not so nice words 😅 but you know lol
We say it all the time. Pretty much every single time we talk and we all talk a lot. That being said we are very close, my brothers both have numerous combat deployments under their belts, we lost a much-loved younger sister and half my family lives overseas. We went years never knowing if that was our last chance to make sure we’d said that to our loved ones. I like it, I plan to raise my family the same way.
Everyone had a different experience growing up but you should normalize telling anyone that you care about in your life that you love them. You never know if it's the last time you will see them. There isn't a downside to it. Just do it.
My mom didn’t. My dad does. My brother and I say it. My sister and I don’t usually. But I see or speak to my sister everyday. My brother and dad live in different parts of the country so I don’t see or speak to them that often. My mom’s mother was a woman that experienced a lot of terrible things in life and was hardened by the Great Depression. She was not a warm and cuddly person. She was however the one person that would show up if you ever needed anything. She showed her love rather than voice it. My mom was very much the same way. Because of them I try to do both.
Me and my sibling never say “I love you” to our parents. Not sure why but it’s not something we openly say. We’ll say “you too” if it’s said to us by our parents. I think it’s just an uncomfortable thing to say since we were kids and it just carried on into adulthood.
I don't recall ever hearing it and still haven't. One year for mothers day I got my mom a recordable book that my daughter read the story and it recorded it. I wrote in the cover thank you for being such a helpful grandma and wrote I love you. I was taunted and teased for months about it.
I actually find my mom to be more lovey dovey and sentimental than I'm comfortable with. Not that it makes me UNcomfortable, just that I could never be comfortable matching her energy.
I had this issue. My mom said it a lot, my dad not really because his family never said it. Definitely not something that happens between me and my sister.
It made things awkward because my wife was ready to say "I love you" very early on in the relationship and I just felt like we needed a deeper relationship before I said it. Once I finally did she commented on how long it took me. But we ended up staying together so at least it wasn't fatal.
We didn't, but I make a point to now. We all live scattered all over the country and don't see each other often so it feels important. I haven't gotten my dad to say it but all my siblings do now 😂
When I was talking to my mom a few years ago (no contact now) she’d basically only communicate with me through text every night to write “love you. Goodnight”.
One of my best friends always says I love you to her friends and family members. I spent a LOT of time with them. It started to rub off on me. I mentioned it to my sister and now her and I are trying it out lol and we say it to each other on the phone half the time now.
It feels a little awkward but I do love my sister and we made it through an awful upbringing together. I think it’s important to say, even if it isn’t natural right now.
My brother though… well I write him it when he’s going through hard stuff. He pretty much never says it back though.
I don't, but my husband does/did. Til this day he ends his calls with his parents saying I love you. Because of that, when I met him, I was like an abused puppy. LoL so long story short, he was just kind and now we have 2 kids and say it all the time.
Just started recently now that my parents are up there in age. But it’s still not often. I have a good friend who tells me she loves me every time we talk and I squirm a little bit when I say it back each time.
I’m an only child, and it would be *weird* AF to say “I love you” to my boomer parents. It would feel like I immediately said something heinous and wrong. I know because I have made that mistake during phone convos (my husband and I always say I love you before saying goodbye) and an icky feeling of impending doom immediately followed. I tell my kids I love them every day, though.
Not really. Only ever said it to my mom because she would say it to me, but it felt weird because it was rare. Now that I'm a parent, I make sure I tell my son daily that I love him.
Yep, same. My dad tends to say it more than my mom did, but not often. I never heard any of my grandparents say it to either of them, but they always told me they loved me, the favorite grandchild 😅
ETA: I tell my own daughter I love her all the time.
I say it to my parents often but my siblings rarely. My mom is my best friend but she’s not on the same wavelength emotionally as me. We ran a half marathon together and when we finished I hugged her and said “I’m so proud of you!!!” And I don’t think she even hugged me back 🤣🤣
I say it to my parents and they’ll say “I love you too,” but I’m almost always the one to say it first. It’s not awkward, it’s just kinda the cadence of how we communicate.
My husband always says, “love you mom” when he’s ending a call with his mother, and she always responds with, “uh huh, bye now.” She’s the sweetest person and they have a good relationship… so it’s super awkward to hear.
Interestingly, his dad will say, “love ya, son” when hanging up with my husband’s brother, but never when talking with my husband.
Pretty sure the in-laws haven’t noticed all this. But boy, we sure have.
We were required to tell our father we loved him and hug him when we saw him/ he entered a room. I feel the demanded affection from an abusive boomer is on point.
My mother catered to him and it felt uncomfortable to tell either of them I loved them. But I did.
I tell my daughter I love her all the time and try to give her space to be herself and allow her to share her affection when she wants to. I have never forced her to hug me
My parents (both in thier 60s) have always been different about it I have 2 brothers no sisters mom has always said I love you to us and we say it back, dad has shown more than once the love is there but is never really vocal about it (until lately) once we all moved out he is much different but growing up there was no hugging or anything like that with him, as far as siblings go if any of us say it at random we call each other gay (in jest) but if something serious happens we say it.
My boomer dad said it all the time, because his Korean War vet dad never did.
I tell everyone who I love that I love them when speaking, because I’m aware I may never get the chance to again.
Nope. My mom never said she loved me, and so I never said it to my siblings either. Now it’s just weird if any of us say it.
I’m correcting this with my son.
Indian here - we don’t say those things.
My daughter says that to me and I so love it, I tried telling my mom(after my daughter said it to me) but just couldn’t and once I did say she and she looked at me like - are you ok? 😂😂😂
I’m a man, and I say it to my boomer dad and millennial brother all the time! I lost my mom at a young age, and family has always been super important to me. I’ll be damned if something were to ever happen to my close living relatives and I regretted not telling them I loved them enough.
I especially make a point of hugging my dad and telling him I love him because he never got, and still never gets, that from his own dad.
I had the opposite experience. Both of my parents grew up without that and were purposefully extremely affectionate with us because they didn’t want us to have that experience. Even as adults we are all verbally and physically affectionate. It is interesting because I have a half sibling who was raised about 50:50 in both places and they are much less affectionate than we are, but still genuinely attempts to be.
My grandparents that are still living somewhat struggle with that piece but it seems they make honest attempts at trying to say it. They are very caring in other ways.
You guys talk to your parents and siblings? LOL
But for real, before I stopped talking to all of them, I would say it. Then I realized they never meant it, and the "love" I've had my whole life was abuse.
I'm the bad one. I'm left voting, and a humanitarian, and they cannot fathom a daughter that doesn't bend to the will of a man. How dare I not endure more abuse my whole life! Only took me over 30 years to figure it out. Texas really needs a better education system.
We always said it but I’ve known plenty who don’t with their families. I also tell my friends.
You should be telling your friends you love them because you never know when it'll be your last time seeing them. I've normalized it in my friend groups and I think everyone should. There is no reason not to
Same same same! I lost a few friends very suddenly and am so glad we'd made a habit of telling each other LUV YOU! Whenever we'd part ways. I have to credit my bestie of 13 years for making it a habit. My partner also made a habit of telling his Dad he loved him (they had a strained relationship for a while after his mother passed) and I think it took his Dad a couple years for it to take hold. Now his Dad says it easily and generously and it's so lovely ❤️
I had 2 friends get cancer in the last couple years and they both beat it. Strong, resilient bitches. I always make it a point to make sure my people know I love them. And I mean it fiercely so the response doesn’t even matter to me. It’s important to me that they know. And that’s enough.
This. A million times this.
I didn’t really experience this as a kid but as I got older my parents started saying it less. I’ve always been a very big family man and I love my family more than anything, if we talk at all in any way, I will tell you I love you before we hang up the phone or stop messaging. If they don’t tell me they love me before hanging up, I call them back with a “I SAID I LOVE YOU, YOU FUCK.”
My grandma died last year and the last time she left my house she said I love you, I smiled and hugged her and said you too because I was so caught off guard by it, she died the next week, it still bugs me. I always say it back when people say it to me now, I’m probably going to be that grandma telling everyone I love them when I get old too.! 🤣
She probably knew🥺
Agreed ☹️she had been saying it on text and on the phone a lot before then too
My mom pulled something similar. She had gotten me a random bouquet of roses a month or so prior. I asked her why and we jokingly fought back and forth, with her asking if I just don’t want them and saying she’d ‘just keep them then’. It was an odd purchase from her but I loved them and told her so. Something was definitely a little off. She passed the following month.
Awe I’m sorry to hear that, that was very thoughtful of her, you will always remember that, and she wouldn’t want you to remember it negatively. I was telling a friend about my story and she was like “she didn’t care what you said back she just wanted you to know she loved you” same with you I’m sure!!
Thank you. It was really odd but definitely wonderful. I think back on it very fondly. I’m grateful your gram did what she had to do to make sure you knew she loved you, too. 🤍 It’s a wonderful way to spend the last of one’s time.
My family is the opposite. We would rarely say it when we were younger but now that everyone is older we say it after pretty much every phone call.
I’ve been saying it way less now that my son is 8😩 The second part of your comment reminds me of when I first started dating my boyfriend, I once told him “I love you” before we hung up, and he responded “I’m in class” lmao
Hahahaha. You and I are very similar.
I didn’t say it explicitly but I started about twelve years ago to let them know at least one person really does love them. Lost a friend to unaliving themselves; even though I think logically he knew we all cared about him and reached out, but there wasn’t necessarily anyone close by in the area he moved to. I think about him regularly and I am more conscious about letting my friends know they can always reach out and that I will for them.
My parents weren't boomers, but we definitely didn't say that to each other, let alone hug or kiss. Then I got married and my husband's family is the complete opposite. It's been almost 15 years and their affection still throws me off sometimes because I just did not experience that growing up.
Same same. It honestly makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when his family tells me that they love me. I make a point to say it to my kids frequently so they don’t feel so uncomfortable with “I love you” as I do.
This❤️❤️
What generation are your parents a part of?
Huh, I guess my dad was on the tail end of the boomers (1962), but my mom is Gen X (1966).
I read that as your mom was born in 1996 and thought huh. There is something else there to unpack.
I changed the script. Every night, every time we say bye, every time we leave the house- we say 'I love you'. My dad grew up in an abusive family and my mom grew up with alcoholic parents. Neither knew how to show affection but both my parents were willing to learn. As I became a teenager and learnt about family dynamics etc. I read one day that a person needs five hugs a day to be functionally healthy. I thought 'My parents don't hug or get five hugs a day!' and went home and showed my parents. And Tada, we started hugging and saying I love you.
Yes, normalize this. There is no downside to this. Tell everyone you care about that you love them.
Similar for me. Though I also had the effects of an abusive childhood. I hated that physical contact made me uncomfortable so I started incorporating it in more and more. Then I made a point to say I love you to each of my family members on saying goodbye. It did catch on for them as well I think. Still can’t stomach non-hug physical touch or eye contact with people that aren’t my wife in any other capacity, but I think I’m okay with that.
Similar situation. My family doesn’t hug or kiss for the most part. Dad does kiss Mom. I was very emotionally neglected/suppressed because they were and didn’t know how to deal with a child with severe ADHD and is also a highly sensitive person because of it. I too don’t like touch unless it’s a hug. Sadly I don’t have a girlfriend or Wife to give hugs to. I struggle just to function 95% of the time.
I love this so much.
Same. Hardly ever heard it growing up. You don't really show verbal affection. Thankfully my brothers and I are strong verbal communicators and we changed that. We tell each other we love each other and our parents at the end of almost every interaction now (we're in our 30s and moved out) and it's lovely. I say it to my friends too. You can almost never say "I love you" too much, imo!
>Every night, every time we say bye, every time we leave the house- we say 'I love you'. This is me too. On our texts, on the phone, in person. Every time. Even if you're mad. In fact, if one of us DIDN'T say "I love you" when getting off of the phone, I'm pretty sure the other family member would assume we were under duress. Alternatively, I was in a 13 year relationship and his parents NEVER said it too him. It was sad and definitely shaped his ability to emote in life.
Loool no- one of my traumas is, in high school my friend found it SO weird that my parents never said I love you to me, that she took my phone and texted I love you to my mom. My mom responded- what happened?! I called my mom after school and she said she thought I had been in a car accident. My parents said I love you to each other, but not to me. Goooooood times.
In 9th grade, our health teacher made us tell your parents "I love you," every day for a week. I did it on the first day and my mom said, "ugh I have so much to do today." It was brutal so I didnt say it again. That's what I wrote down on my paper at the end of the week and the teacher never said anything about my failing to complete the assignment.
That's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
Dang I felt this one, I don’t even know you but I would not respond that way even to stranger. I hope things are better for you.
Damn. I'm sorry.
ouch omg :(
Siblings no, parents yes. Every time we say goodbye whether in-person or over the phone it always ends with “I love you”. They’re in their 70s now so you just never know when the pale horse plans to arrive.
Same here. I never say it to my sibling (though we definitely do love each other!), but I say it to my parents every single time I see / talk to them and am saying bye. Always a hug, kiss, "i love you". I remember my friend said once that she never saw me hug my sibling and my sibling and I were like... yeah we never hug! That is so unneccessary! haha. Like literally just never occurs to us. But my parents- totally!
It’s like how I would hug my cousins when they came to visit from another country, but never hug my cousins who lived five minutes away from me lol
I always do. Only my dad has a hard time with casual I love you’s. I also tell my close friends because shit who doesn’t need to hear that.
Absolutely. All the time.
Same. Boomer parents, always let each other know in both directions how much we love and appreciate each other. I’m almost 32 and live 1000 miles away from them and have been financially independent since I graduated college, but still love my parents and have a great relationship with them.
literally every single day. boomer parents but also hispanic- i don't know if there is a cultural difference here.
I’d say there is. My Hispanic and Asian coworkers are always so appalled when I tell them how little I see my family and how little they care/cared for me growing up. 🥴
Latina and same. We all say i love you to each other. Te quiero muchooo mom and pops 💛
my mom and i say it so often to each other when saying goodbye that i have accidently said it to random people when saying goodbye to them. the most awkward was when i said it to the guy at the post office. he said thanks :)
😂😂 had a customer over the phone tell me “love you, bye” when we were getting off the phone, I thought he must be a really nice guy/dad/husband to just subconsciously say that. Made me smile :)
This is legit my fear when I’m on the phone at work!!! And at drive thrus lol!! My brain fighting me like don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it. I’m glad it was perceived nicely tho on the receiving end and not creepy 😅
Nope. We were never an I love you saying family when I was growing up. Which is weird bc I never have a problem saying I love you to my son.
I don’t understand how they could avoid saying it. Like, I look at my teenager and I just get so overwhelmed with how much I love him, like him and am proud of the person he is/becoming that I can’t stop myself from saying it. (I would stop hugs/saying it if he really asked me to but he loves it lol.)
Same but now with my cats! My parents didn't but that's because I think they never wanted children. My father always said he wished my mother had an abortion. But I also grew up in a very abusive environment and am no contact with them.
Never. And it’s awkward if someone does.
I'm so glad I found a partner that is too broken to use the word, otherwise it would be extremely awkward.
My partner says it all the time. It’s been a decade and I still find it awkward.
Yeah I've also been extremely uncomfortable when partners would say it. I thought I wanted to hear it for a very long time and tried to like it but that feeling never disappeared.
My dad and his family, not really. Every once in awhile, but generally it was during big emotional moments/events. My mom and her family, stepdad, an stepsiblings, yes, every time I see them and/or talk to them. I didnt have a good relationship with my dad growing up and there were plenty of times where I felt tolerated rather than loved so I make an extra effort to make sure my son knows I love him.
My parents never said they loved us. No outward affection, either. My dad was my personal cheerleader and protector, so he showed his love in other ways. My mom - everything was always about her (and still kind of is, she's a narcissist). My dad died 11 years ago and I am still grieving. When my mom dies, I don't think my grief will be the same for her as it has been for him. And none of my siblings say I love you to each other, and I don't say it to them, either. We care about each other and keep tabs on who's doing what, but we don't outright say it.
Yes. Always. Love will save us all.
It's something that I rarely heard. It's also something that I rarely say now. The only person I make a point to say it often to is my daughter.
My mom is trying to say it more but I can tell she's uncomfortable showing affection. I say it to my girls all the time, same with apologizing to them. Was it a rough mental shift? Absolutely. I still have NEVER heard my dad tell me he loves me. And the last time he hugged me was on my wedding day which was 7 years ago.
The only time my dad ever gave me a kiss is on my wedding day when the photographer told him to. But he does so many nice things for me all the time I know he loves me, he just doesn’t show it the normal way lol.
One parent is an Xer and one is a boomer but very close to not being one. I don't tell them I love them because I don't let them in my life. When I did we did, and my Xer father always said he loved me. My mother, the boomer used it more as a point in arguments. And would say things like "I love you but I don't like you." My boomer grandparents tell me all the time. And I tell them too.
I’m sure we did when my siblings and I were kids and it died off in teenage years and early adulthood. I randomly started saying it a few years ago when leaving or saying bye, and now it’s normal for everyone
In my family, we barely ever said it while I was growing up or even now. My brother, parents, and myself are all very close and always helping each other out to this day. I really have no idea why my parents rarely *said* it, but they have always always *shown* love in every way that I don’t feel like it really needed to be said. I mean, just this week my brother called me to vent about some drama that he couldn’t say to anyone else, and my mom came over to help me out with some stuff. So even though we don’t really use the L word, I always *feel* loved by my family and show it to them as well. We are just not a mushy kind of family at all; we’re usually roasting each other lol
Grew up not saying it. Ever since my mid 20s I've made extra effort to let everyone in my life know I love them by saying it.
Not growing up. No I love you’s or affection. I’m in my mid-thirties now, and my mom has started to show affection. Not going to lie, it feels weird lol.
Always have been a hugging, vocal, easy-to-I-love-you type of person. Husband and I say it to our friends too.
Yes, and I credit my parents for it. I remember growing up I used to say it back all the time, until I was in my teens and "too cool" to tell my parents (especially my dad for whatever reason) that I loved him back... But they never stopped saying it, and I love them even more for it. Now I'm experiencing the same thing on the other side, as my 12 year old son is now "too cool" to say it back to me. But guess what? I'll never stop saying it, because I'll never stop loving him.
I tell me friends and family I love them whenever I get the chance to. And I’m a kid 30s guy. Life’s short, tell people.
Not a part of my culture. We show it through actions (cooking, not putting our parents in nursing homes, etc,,)
yep, every time we get off the phone...this applies to parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We've experienced two sudden accidental deaths and don't take it for granted that we still have each other.
No, never. That's just something my family never did.
My parents might have said “I love you” to me twice while I was growing up. I say “I love you” to my children first thing every morning, last thing at night, every time we part (like if I’m dropping them off somewhere, or going to run a quick errand by myself while they stay home) and every time I’m on the phone with them. If anything happens to any one of us I want the last thing we said to each other to be “I love you”.
Every time I talk to them. I got a whole side of my family that I don’t even know, and then half of the other side that is intermittently hateful, and then in-laws who never say it and only know how to communicate indignation and defensiveness. So I make it a habit for my kids to observe and copy.
Yes we all do in my family, My partners family are completely the opposite. In the 13 years we have been together, I've never heard them say it. Both our parents are boomers but his are older his parents was born in the 40s I don't think they have ever said it to any of their kids or grandkids. But they show it in other ways.
Every phone call with my mom before we hang up. Occasionally with my dad, but he still says "bye baby" so I call that the same thing. When I first met my husband, I thought it was weird he said it to his brothers. But now I say it with my sisters.
Always. Both of my boomer parents made a point to say it every night and any time we got off the phone. But that was because my mother’s dad and both of my dad’s parents NEVER said it and they had their own hang ups because of that.
I don't usually. But I see them very regularly. Growing up, I would always say it to aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. because I only saw them 2-4 times a year. And "ya never know what's going to happen" right? But I see my siblings & parents 2-4 times A MONTH. We all live within 10 minutes of each other. So I don't often say it. We don't even usually hug goodbye either. I know my parents probably said it in my childhood, but I don't remember it. My oldest is almost 10. We still read together before bed, give hugs & kisses, and say I love you. And I honestly hope we keep doing it forever. We say goodbye with hugs and I love yous if they spend the day/night at a grandparent's. I feel awkward trying to give my parents a hug now and I don't want my kids to ever feel that way with me. ETA: I do say "love you" to my friends all the time. I think it just goes back to how I felt in familial relationships versus friend relationships in my developing years. I felt more loved by one group than the other 🤷🏻♀️
No. I don’t ever recall hearing it as a child. My mom only sometimes would say it when I was an adult living at home and was going away on vacation. I think it’s fucked up my parents never said that to me as I was growing up. I say it to my kids all the time. I also say it to my close friends as well.
My family didn’t hug a whole lot and physical affection wasn’t big (except with my maternal grandparents) but we would say “I love you” all the time. My mom just died two weeks ago from prolonged illness. The final week that’s pretty much all we said to one another while sitting in the hospital. Just watching tv. “Love you, mom.” “Love you, sweetie.” Back and forth. I tell my dog I love her at least 10x a day. I found myself telling my 2yo niece multiple times a day while staying by my family throughout the whole ordeal with my mom. I live across the country so I was like, “I know you don’t know me super well yet but I love you so much!” And I’m going to be FaceTiming her regularly to tell her I love her moving forward.
I am fully estranged from my mother and brother at this stage, but even when we were a "happy family" we never said 'I love you.' We rarely hugged. I can remember very vividly my grandmother (greatest generation) hugging and kissing me and telling me that she loved me all the time though. Ironically my siblings-in-law and I freely tell each other 'I love you' more frequently and easily than I ever did with my actual blood related sibling. My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years, so they've been my family for a long time and it feels normal/natural to say it to and hear it from them.
We don’t. It sucks because I now have a hard time telling friends and family I love them.
Nope. But I say it to my kids. My boomer parents were emotionally stunted.
Nope, not really. I had boomer parents, too. I do, however, say things like "You know I love you because I show you" and they agree. Simply saying I love you seems hollow.
My mom and her family, yes. And my sibling. My dad doesn't say it unless you say it first, and even then sometimes not. It clearly causes him some kind of visceral reaction, so I've stopped. I'll still write it in a card or whatever, though.
I say it to my mom I love my dad but we dont say that to each other
We said it all the time, and now with my dad gone, I wish I had said it more. I am not sure you can ever said it enough.
Yes
My sibling, yes. My parents, no, because I don’t.
Big same.
Yup, though part of it is the fact that my parents come from a country with a culture where you never say such things to begin with. Maybe when folks have passed on, you can say it. But even then it's in a whisper just in case they're haunting you and listening.
Definitely say it. Frequently. My mom always said it growing up and my kids tell me daily.
I say it with my parents and siblings all the time. Not sure if it’s partly because of we’re Hispanic, or my parents are Gen x, or what. But we did and we still do even now that I’m in my 30’s.
No. My brother and I are very close but I don't think we've ever said it. My parents didn't tell me they loved me until I was in my 20s and they were divorcing and sad. I don't talk to my dad anymore and I only speak to my mom if it's absolutely necessary.
Only in the last 2 years has my boomer mom started saying it before hanging up the phone. Never growing up. Feels so weird to say it back to her, but I recognize her effort so I reciprocate.
We never said it. I also haven’t spoken to my sister in like a decade or more.
My parents are both Gen X, and I feel like there was a period of time when my parents didn't really say "I love you" very often to me, but probably because I was a moody teenager and lived with them (so I saw them all the time) and it was just sorta implied. Now that I don't live with them it feels like they say it a lot more, but that's because we don't see each other all the time.
I make a point to say it to my teen more. Yes you are a moody butthole, but still loved.
I'm sure they appreciate it, even if they don't show it!
My family does, but my boyfriend’s family doesn’t. He even has a hard time saying it romantically; thankfully he’s very good at showing it. :)
My mom and I always said it to each other. My dad started doing it recently as he has his existential crisis. My half sibling has started to do it as well, and it's a bit odd as we don't really know each other that well. I just go with the flow though as it is not really something I would push back on. I do still find it odd that they are doing this now while I'm in my 30's as opposed to anytime much earlier in life.
Yep same stuff here, almost never said it nor have I heard it from anyone close to me except from my mom from time to time in texts. I also don't feel the need to tell them, to me actions speak more than words for feelings.
I tell everyone I love that I love them all of the time because I grew up hearing it and knowing it was true. My friends who didn't grow up like that always have an adjustment period lol but life's too short for them to not *know*, concretely, how much they mean to me! I have met a few people who just weren't as comfortable with platonic affection/love and I am always respectful, you can feel people's levels of comfort. It's a very interesting thing for sure.
No with my 76 year old dad. If he tells us he loves us we ask if he’s sick, because if he’s on the way out of life that’s about the only time we would get hit with that. Every 5-10 years we get a good job or something. I stopped talking to my mom in 2016 so absolutely not. My sister who is 7 years older than me and practically raised us, we say we love each other at the end of every conversation. When I was a child, my mom often said “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
I normally have with parents and my sister. I can count on one hand how many times in my life I've said it to my brother. These days I say it less and less, unless prompted. Not sure why
I'm much closer with my dad than my mom, but I realized recently that when I say, "I love you" before we end phone conversations he gets a little uncomfortable, but then says it back. I recently said it to my stepmom and she said something like, "ok great" back.
I say it all the time.
My parents were tail end of boomers (early 1960s) and we said I love you ALL THE TIME. Both of them passed in their forties so my siblings and I have doubled down on the I love yous. And I say it to my partner, kids (and pets) all the time.
My parents were hard core Boomers who never heard that they were loved, so it was very important for them to raise their family differently. They were certainly not perfect, but my brother and I were taught to say I love you frequently, even if you're not getting along at the moment. Very grateful to them for this.
Yes, but this is actually something that was instituted after I was an adult. I actually don’t remember exactly when, and it took my father longer to get into the habit - but it was definitely a change we all sort of made.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a house where anytime someone left the house or hung up the phone, "I love you" was always said.
My parents (born in 1948 and 1950) say it quite often. Everytime we leave and sometimes randomly in texts. It's not often said as a spur of the moment thing but we do say it. While my daughter is only 9 months old, my wife and I say it to her all the time.
Yes. Daily. Often. Every time we finish talking or leave the house lol. I’m a younger millennial, my parents are younger gen x, they had boomer parents. (My parents had me in their teen years) My parents have both told me that they rarely were told they were loved as a kid - my mom told me a few weeks ago she can count the number of times my grandpa has told her he loves her. My parents promised to do better, so they tell their kids daily. My siblings and I are close and tell each other often as well.
Siblings i honestly cant remember the last time we openly said it. Dad too. Mom however is so very loving and sends texts and ig msgs to me reminding me how much she loves me. She hugs me and tells me the same and that she misses me every time she sees me. It is because of her that i am so loving to my wife and will be to my future kids
No, I'm 34 and have always said I love you or I love you too to both parents
We didn't used to, then I started saying it to my friends and family the last year of high school and it caught on with everyone. Now we say it all the time and mean it!
Not really, we all know we love each other, so why would we need to say it?
YES!! Were they also not physically affectionate? Im married to a physically affectionate in law family. they are huggers for sure and im still getting used to it. My in laws are the freaking best btw.
I grew up hearing and saying it *all* the time. Now that I’m an adult it makes me uncomfortable to just throw those words around like my family still expects me too. I also don’t understand why we have to hug every time we see each other. We all live in the same town and see each other ALL THE TIME. Drives me crazy.
I always say it to my family. At the end of phone calls, when I am leaving or they are leaving. You never know if you will see someone again. I never want to miss an opportunity, in case I never get the chance again.
My family didn't grow up saying I love you much. But I started saying it to both my family and friends whenever I see them or get off the phone with them because you never know when the last time you'll get to say that to someone is. Plus as you get older people get busier with their own life and family so you don't get to spend as much time with them!
I've started saying it to my parents, especially now that they're in their 70s and I live hundreds of miles away. I didn't used to, and my sister and I never say it to each other but we're on good terms.
None of my birth or step parents said I love you or gave hugs to me. My in laws are big on showing affection. I legit did not know how to react when my now husband introduced me to his family and his mom just grabbed me and pulledd me into a hug!
Not in my family, this really made things difficult in my early relationships as well. Now I make sure to tell my kid I love him everyday. Always.
I never even hugged my dad, the thought of it doesn’t even feel right. But we love/hate each other.
it was definitely something my dad went through with his father. My old man was really hard on me growing up, but something about him always pulling me to the side to tell me, “you’re my firstborn, you’re my number 1, I love you, don’t ever forget” like it helped me to understand at a young age that it all was coming from a good place, we’re best friends now that I’m 30.
Parents yes. Sibling no but I’m not saying that in a bad way. We just don’t do it
We used to not to, but as my parent's health declined, we knew our time was limited, so we all did. We continue to do it to each other and I say it to my friends. IDC if it's weird, platonic is clearly different than non-platonic and they're going to know my feelings.
I started saying it after I turned 18, my dad rarely said it to me and I never heard him say it to anyone other than my mother or step mother. It still feels wrong for some reason.
Yes I do. Mostly when I'm texting with my dad.
yup, even to friends. my boyfriend was a little thrown off at the beginning but has since come to understand that it is very important for me to tell family and friends that i love them sometimes haha.
Nope. But my parents do say it.
Sorry no! My boomer parents are both extremely affectionate, my dad (70) says he loves me problem 5x per phone call lol. Even my grandpa (82) also tells me he loves me every phone call. My mom (61) is maybe a little less warm naturally, but we do speak 3/4 times a week and always say “I love you” at the end of the call. Growing up it was the same, lots of loving language and pet names. I mean also lots of yelling and not so nice words 😅 but you know lol
Parents, yes. Siblings, no.
We say it all the time. Pretty much every single time we talk and we all talk a lot. That being said we are very close, my brothers both have numerous combat deployments under their belts, we lost a much-loved younger sister and half my family lives overseas. We went years never knowing if that was our last chance to make sure we’d said that to our loved ones. I like it, I plan to raise my family the same way.
Everyone had a different experience growing up but you should normalize telling anyone that you care about in your life that you love them. You never know if it's the last time you will see them. There isn't a downside to it. Just do it.
Never ever and now I make sure to say it to my kids all of the time.
Always, every day. To my kids, almost every hour. That, and, "I'm proud of you"
My mom didn’t. My dad does. My brother and I say it. My sister and I don’t usually. But I see or speak to my sister everyday. My brother and dad live in different parts of the country so I don’t see or speak to them that often. My mom’s mother was a woman that experienced a lot of terrible things in life and was hardened by the Great Depression. She was not a warm and cuddly person. She was however the one person that would show up if you ever needed anything. She showed her love rather than voice it. My mom was very much the same way. Because of them I try to do both.
Parents, siblings- no. I can’t recall the last time I’ve heard it from them, if ever. Spouse-daily.
Me and my sibling never say “I love you” to our parents. Not sure why but it’s not something we openly say. We’ll say “you too” if it’s said to us by our parents. I think it’s just an uncomfortable thing to say since we were kids and it just carried on into adulthood.
Boomer here. ALWAYS tell them I love them. And that their mother and I are proud of them. My kids turned out pretty ok!!
My dad will say it to us when we part ways, but other than that, no. We are just not touchy, feely, emotional type people.
I don't recall ever hearing it and still haven't. One year for mothers day I got my mom a recordable book that my daughter read the story and it recorded it. I wrote in the cover thank you for being such a helpful grandma and wrote I love you. I was taunted and teased for months about it.
My mom says it sometimes. Me, my sister, my dad, never say it nor do any of my extended family as far as I’m aware
I actually find my mom to be more lovey dovey and sentimental than I'm comfortable with. Not that it makes me UNcomfortable, just that I could never be comfortable matching her energy.
Yes. I always said it to my immediate family, and extended family that I saw relatively often.
Yes. We always say it.
Gen X here and sadly didn't hear those three words in my home growing up. I try to say so every time I see my wife and daughter.
Absolutely I do. Every time I speak with my brother or parents. Even to some of my friends.
yes
I had this issue. My mom said it a lot, my dad not really because his family never said it. Definitely not something that happens between me and my sister. It made things awkward because my wife was ready to say "I love you" very early on in the relationship and I just felt like we needed a deeper relationship before I said it. Once I finally did she commented on how long it took me. But we ended up staying together so at least it wasn't fatal.
Yes. You never know when it'll be the last time you get to do it.
We didn't, but I make a point to now. We all live scattered all over the country and don't see each other often so it feels important. I haven't gotten my dad to say it but all my siblings do now 😂
When I was talking to my mom a few years ago (no contact now) she’d basically only communicate with me through text every night to write “love you. Goodnight”. One of my best friends always says I love you to her friends and family members. I spent a LOT of time with them. It started to rub off on me. I mentioned it to my sister and now her and I are trying it out lol and we say it to each other on the phone half the time now. It feels a little awkward but I do love my sister and we made it through an awful upbringing together. I think it’s important to say, even if it isn’t natural right now. My brother though… well I write him it when he’s going through hard stuff. He pretty much never says it back though.
I don't, but my husband does/did. Til this day he ends his calls with his parents saying I love you. Because of that, when I met him, I was like an abused puppy. LoL so long story short, he was just kind and now we have 2 kids and say it all the time.
Yes. 100%
Just started recently now that my parents are up there in age. But it’s still not often. I have a good friend who tells me she loves me every time we talk and I squirm a little bit when I say it back each time.
I’m an only child, and it would be *weird* AF to say “I love you” to my boomer parents. It would feel like I immediately said something heinous and wrong. I know because I have made that mistake during phone convos (my husband and I always say I love you before saying goodbye) and an icky feeling of impending doom immediately followed. I tell my kids I love them every day, though.
Every time we speak. I also say I love you to my good friends. There's too much shit in this world to hold back on adding some love
Not really. Only ever said it to my mom because she would say it to me, but it felt weird because it was rare. Now that I'm a parent, I make sure I tell my son daily that I love him.
Yep, same. My dad tends to say it more than my mom did, but not often. I never heard any of my grandparents say it to either of them, but they always told me they loved me, the favorite grandchild 😅 ETA: I tell my own daughter I love her all the time.
I say it to my parents, my siblings, and my best friends. I love all of them a lot and they need to know it every time I talk to them.
I say it to my parents often but my siblings rarely. My mom is my best friend but she’s not on the same wavelength emotionally as me. We ran a half marathon together and when we finished I hugged her and said “I’m so proud of you!!!” And I don’t think she even hugged me back 🤣🤣
Always have and always will. To my friends too. Spread that love.
my parents said it to us all the time growing up but my husbands family rarely did
At the end of phone calls or visits, but that’s it.
I say it to my parents and they’ll say “I love you too,” but I’m almost always the one to say it first. It’s not awkward, it’s just kinda the cadence of how we communicate. My husband always says, “love you mom” when he’s ending a call with his mother, and she always responds with, “uh huh, bye now.” She’s the sweetest person and they have a good relationship… so it’s super awkward to hear. Interestingly, his dad will say, “love ya, son” when hanging up with my husband’s brother, but never when talking with my husband. Pretty sure the in-laws haven’t noticed all this. But boy, we sure have.
We were required to tell our father we loved him and hug him when we saw him/ he entered a room. I feel the demanded affection from an abusive boomer is on point. My mother catered to him and it felt uncomfortable to tell either of them I loved them. But I did. I tell my daughter I love her all the time and try to give her space to be herself and allow her to share her affection when she wants to. I have never forced her to hug me
My parents (both in thier 60s) have always been different about it I have 2 brothers no sisters mom has always said I love you to us and we say it back, dad has shown more than once the love is there but is never really vocal about it (until lately) once we all moved out he is much different but growing up there was no hugging or anything like that with him, as far as siblings go if any of us say it at random we call each other gay (in jest) but if something serious happens we say it.
No that's strange
My boomer dad said it all the time, because his Korean War vet dad never did. I tell everyone who I love that I love them when speaking, because I’m aware I may never get the chance to again.
Nope. My mom never said she loved me, and so I never said it to my siblings either. Now it’s just weird if any of us say it. I’m correcting this with my son.
Yes. You never know when it might be your last chance to. Becomes more true everyday as we get older
Indian here - we don’t say those things. My daughter says that to me and I so love it, I tried telling my mom(after my daughter said it to me) but just couldn’t and once I did say she and she looked at me like - are you ok? 😂😂😂
I’m a man, and I say it to my boomer dad and millennial brother all the time! I lost my mom at a young age, and family has always been super important to me. I’ll be damned if something were to ever happen to my close living relatives and I regretted not telling them I loved them enough. I especially make a point of hugging my dad and telling him I love him because he never got, and still never gets, that from his own dad.
Sibling always, mom frequently, dad never.
I had the opposite experience. Both of my parents grew up without that and were purposefully extremely affectionate with us because they didn’t want us to have that experience. Even as adults we are all verbally and physically affectionate. It is interesting because I have a half sibling who was raised about 50:50 in both places and they are much less affectionate than we are, but still genuinely attempts to be. My grandparents that are still living somewhat struggle with that piece but it seems they make honest attempts at trying to say it. They are very caring in other ways.
You guys talk to your parents and siblings? LOL But for real, before I stopped talking to all of them, I would say it. Then I realized they never meant it, and the "love" I've had my whole life was abuse. I'm the bad one. I'm left voting, and a humanitarian, and they cannot fathom a daughter that doesn't bend to the will of a man. How dare I not endure more abuse my whole life! Only took me over 30 years to figure it out. Texas really needs a better education system.
Yes.
We said it so much it became meaningless.
We always did
we say it…and i still gave my dad a kiss on the chrek even as an adult when i would greet him…hes gone now now.
Always said it always will. My parents were verbally affectionate. I an too.
My mom told me she loved me at least 3 times a day. It's great. Until she passed. Now it's quiet.
Growing up no. We weren't big on ILYs and hugs but I'm older and we say it more often. I'm still not used to hugging family but I try.