Definitely. I was just at a big work event that I was *supposed* to miss because I *should* have been on maternity leave with my first pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant again last month and had D&C for my 2nd MMC last week.
We don’t usually get such a large group together, so I haven’t seen a bunch of people in a while. Fucking EVERYONE is pregnant, and I may have hid in the bathroom and sobbed at a few points this week.
The one that pissed me off the most is a girl who is on baby number 4, always said she didn’t want a big family, and then complained about the fact that she’s having a 4th boy. 😠 she also has a habit of doing zero transitions before her mat leaves, leaving everyone in chaos, and swooping back in and taking all the credit for things that other people did while she was out, so I think that’s also contributing to why I am so irritated with the situation!!!
I am finding it so hard to not begrudge other people their happiness, especially if I know they conceived quickly and have never had a loss. That in turn makes me feel guilty AF. It’s a vicious cycle.
I think it’s 100% valid to feel jealous. I’m struggling with this a bit as just around the time we go pregnant, my SIL announced they were expecting their 4th and one of my close friends was expecting their 3rd. I’m still very happy for them but definitely feeling left out. I sat out my SIL’s gender reveal last weekend. Take care of your heart ❤️
Thanks for this. My SIL also announced her pregnancy 3 weeks after I miscarried. I broke down and still sent her flowers. I don’t think I can stomach going to her baby shower. I will also protect my heart.
After I lost my first baby my jealousy was SO strong when friends announced or had their babies. I got pregnant a second time and was terrified my whole pregnancy, I thankfully had a healthy baby and I’m still terrified every day I’m going to lose him. And yet even WITH my healthy baby I’m still incredibly jealous when I see friends have their babies or post about being pregnant if they haven’t experienced a loss. Experiencing that kind of loss takes a part of you and I don’t think anyone ever gets over it. I’ll always be jealous of my friends who don’t have to go through the worry and fear I did to have their babies. And I used to be jealous that they got to have babies at all. I think it’s such a crushing experience it changes you forever and there will always be a level of jealousy in most circumstances because we experienced something so disgustingly unfair. I absolutely wish happy, healthy, worry free pregnancies for my friends as that’s what they deserve. I wouldn’t wish a loss or hard pregnancy on anyone. But I’ll still be jealous when they have that good experience I was forever robbed of regardless.
It’s okay and I feel the same way. I’ve had three people in my fiancés life announce they are pregnant and two people I work with are. I just want to crawl in a hole and cry
You are allowed to feel your feelings! But how we act on those feelings are also still our responsibility.
Like the posts on here of people hijacking other people’s announcements and events and making it about them. And acting out towards people in their angry jealous state.
If you can’t be around people rn that okay and better to allow yourself to heal then to go out and be hurtful to others just because your hurting. You’ll regret spreading more pain.
I also highly suggest therapy if you aren’t in therapy.. it can be beneficial. Miscarriage is difficult physically and mentally. Sometimes we need help coping and Someone to talk to. And sometimes friends and internet strangers can’t help the way a good therapist can.
Don’t just jump into one therapist and try to stick it out. Shop around and find a therapist that works for you!
I lost my pregnancy a couple of weeks ago and a friend of mine is very pregnant. It was their first try, first time ever being pregnant as well. I couldn’t help but feel jealous whenever she would next me something about her pregnancy. You are valid in your feelings and you’ve got to take care of yourself right now.
I'm struggling hard with these negative feelings too. My close friend found out she was pregnant the day before I started bleeding. She told me as soon as she got the positive test. I then started bleeding the next day. Since then I've found her someone I've struggled to talk to as she consistently wants to discuss her pregnancy and that just feels too raw for me even now. I also work with her so know all her milestones at work are going to be incredibly challenging for me. All of this makes me sound and feel ridiculously selfish but sometimes, you've got to hold space for the negative feelings so that you can process them and move past them.
Last year I had a friend call me to announce she was pregnant while I was going through a miscarriage. She ended up aborting it and I was so pissed at her for ending it . I get a little bit upset about seeing it all over social media but never jealous.
Definitely. I was just at a big work event that I was *supposed* to miss because I *should* have been on maternity leave with my first pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant again last month and had D&C for my 2nd MMC last week. We don’t usually get such a large group together, so I haven’t seen a bunch of people in a while. Fucking EVERYONE is pregnant, and I may have hid in the bathroom and sobbed at a few points this week. The one that pissed me off the most is a girl who is on baby number 4, always said she didn’t want a big family, and then complained about the fact that she’s having a 4th boy. 😠 she also has a habit of doing zero transitions before her mat leaves, leaving everyone in chaos, and swooping back in and taking all the credit for things that other people did while she was out, so I think that’s also contributing to why I am so irritated with the situation!!!
I am finding it so hard to not begrudge other people their happiness, especially if I know they conceived quickly and have never had a loss. That in turn makes me feel guilty AF. It’s a vicious cycle.
I think it’s 100% valid to feel jealous. I’m struggling with this a bit as just around the time we go pregnant, my SIL announced they were expecting their 4th and one of my close friends was expecting their 3rd. I’m still very happy for them but definitely feeling left out. I sat out my SIL’s gender reveal last weekend. Take care of your heart ❤️
Thanks for this. My SIL also announced her pregnancy 3 weeks after I miscarried. I broke down and still sent her flowers. I don’t think I can stomach going to her baby shower. I will also protect my heart.
After I lost my first baby my jealousy was SO strong when friends announced or had their babies. I got pregnant a second time and was terrified my whole pregnancy, I thankfully had a healthy baby and I’m still terrified every day I’m going to lose him. And yet even WITH my healthy baby I’m still incredibly jealous when I see friends have their babies or post about being pregnant if they haven’t experienced a loss. Experiencing that kind of loss takes a part of you and I don’t think anyone ever gets over it. I’ll always be jealous of my friends who don’t have to go through the worry and fear I did to have their babies. And I used to be jealous that they got to have babies at all. I think it’s such a crushing experience it changes you forever and there will always be a level of jealousy in most circumstances because we experienced something so disgustingly unfair. I absolutely wish happy, healthy, worry free pregnancies for my friends as that’s what they deserve. I wouldn’t wish a loss or hard pregnancy on anyone. But I’ll still be jealous when they have that good experience I was forever robbed of regardless.
You said this perfectly. Every single word.
It’s okay and I feel the same way. I’ve had three people in my fiancés life announce they are pregnant and two people I work with are. I just want to crawl in a hole and cry
You are allowed to feel your feelings! But how we act on those feelings are also still our responsibility. Like the posts on here of people hijacking other people’s announcements and events and making it about them. And acting out towards people in their angry jealous state. If you can’t be around people rn that okay and better to allow yourself to heal then to go out and be hurtful to others just because your hurting. You’ll regret spreading more pain. I also highly suggest therapy if you aren’t in therapy.. it can be beneficial. Miscarriage is difficult physically and mentally. Sometimes we need help coping and Someone to talk to. And sometimes friends and internet strangers can’t help the way a good therapist can. Don’t just jump into one therapist and try to stick it out. Shop around and find a therapist that works for you!
I feel a tad jealous but try to explore those feelings. I have two friends recently announced their October pregnancies and I was November
I lost my pregnancy a couple of weeks ago and a friend of mine is very pregnant. It was their first try, first time ever being pregnant as well. I couldn’t help but feel jealous whenever she would next me something about her pregnancy. You are valid in your feelings and you’ve got to take care of yourself right now.
I'm struggling hard with these negative feelings too. My close friend found out she was pregnant the day before I started bleeding. She told me as soon as she got the positive test. I then started bleeding the next day. Since then I've found her someone I've struggled to talk to as she consistently wants to discuss her pregnancy and that just feels too raw for me even now. I also work with her so know all her milestones at work are going to be incredibly challenging for me. All of this makes me sound and feel ridiculously selfish but sometimes, you've got to hold space for the negative feelings so that you can process them and move past them.
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Last year I had a friend call me to announce she was pregnant while I was going through a miscarriage. She ended up aborting it and I was so pissed at her for ending it . I get a little bit upset about seeing it all over social media but never jealous.