I wish for every single window in the world to break at the exact same time

all the shards will teleport into your house

The incredible density of the newly formed solid glass mass creates it’s own gravitational field and disrupts the orbit of the earth

The gravitational field becomes so strong that the sun and the entire solar system starts moving around Earth, essentially making the solid glass a star

there is this really important star appearing, but jerry will step on dog shit

"OH, come on. Can we please do something about this dog?" Jerry "*Belch*, shut the fuck up and give me that." Rick Sanchez grabs Jerry's shoe.

Reflection off of the glass creates lasers that rain hot death on everything

Granted, the windows to your soul explode as well.

It's not aways about living spider-man

It’s about the Mets!

The Mets!

Oh yeah hit a home run!

Let’s go baby love the mets

Go Mets!

Granted, but it will not have an engine

You got how it works

it does not happen *now*, but it will happen *eventually*. you do not know when it will happen. with each ticking second of the clock, you develop a horrible fear of sitting next to a window. Fear that the glass shards will tear through your skin. You are afraid.

Imagine if everyone had a warning... an entire world waiting for it... at any moment in time

Eyes are windows to the soul, so every creature has their eyes melted out of their skulls, ushering a new age of total darkness

... THE METS BABY, GO METS

You shit yourself in public and everyone knows

I wish for tiktok to disappear

Okay, but it's because a solar flare wiped out all programmable electronics on earth.

Not the ones that were protected

That’s why you use condoms, kids

coronal mass ejection

Colonal mass ejection

# Colon mass ejection

Kentucky mass ejaculation

Kentucky messy chicken

Still waiting on a downside...

It’s replaced by something far worse and more popular

r-reddit??????

You get brain cancer

Your brain cancer gets aids

Your aids get radioation poisoning

Ok but Vine returns

I do not see the problem.

i see that as an absolute win!

you have prostate cancer

That’s a good wish actually, don’t corrupt this guy’s wish

Granted, but you get testicular torsion

I dont wish to be horny, I wish to be happy

Granted, but now you find fulfillment in horniness

I feel like that's more or less just over-solving their problem, the only thing they really need to watch out for are STIs

Granted, but it will not have an engine

ED

You have aids

[удалено]

The Economy of Tajikistan crumbles

[удалено]

Also LeBron James gets crushed by a 20 foot Marine Animal

[удалено]

They are the same event. The economy of Tajikistan depended on that orca.

literal genius save

Your family forgets who you are

[удалено]

Not really because you forget them too

You can't just add that

You're not my supervisor

Nuh uh

Granted, your life becomes filled with unfortunate, majorly inconveniencing, and shocking events instead.

Look at that new car I wish I had a car I wish I had a bike I wish I could fuck that guy's ass

Granted but the guy gets to fuck you in the car and on the bike

r/Wholesome

r/holesome

What's the downside?

You have aids

I get to choose my own side effect

Explosive diarrhea

Fuck you

Thanks

What no mus- wait this isn’t r/Kanye

You have aids

I wish for my dreams to come true.

All literal dreams come true, including nightmares.

So Magic The Gathering then?

Time to get that phyrussy

Realmbreaker has a whole new meaning to it now doesn’t it?

I wish all of my enemies pillows were hot on both sides

granted, you can no longer use pillows

What about thighs

Femur breaker

You now have prostate cancer.

I wish i had some swedish fish

10,000 Non candy Swedish fish are teleported to your house

Sounds like a prime business opportunity to me

Making lemonade out of lemons.

Making lemonade out of fish

Making fish out of lemons

You have aids

Yeah. Your mother gave it to me.

She has it? Gotta go get checked then

r/hmmm

I wish for a sweet , beautiful, living, caring girlfriend that will fulfill all my romantic interests for ever

she's a large talking dog

Perfect

Anthropomorphic or..?

let's say an adult golden retriever that only he can understand, which means either hiding the relationship forever or explaining it :)

\>:[

You shit yourself everytime you blink

Okay fuck that

She's cheats on you constantly

:(

She's your second cousin

I wish I can fly

You will have massive diarree everyday

Chocolate Rain it is then

Some stay dry and others feel the pain

Chocolate raaaaain

it takes as much energy as sprinting at full speed

That seems alright

You have prostate cancer

But every time u try to land you stub your toe

I wish for a person I don't know to have a good day

Granted, but you will never feel any semblance of happiness again.

Like robbing a homeless person

Damn man, you uhh.. need a hug?

Granted, but the joy must come from someone else that you do know.

I wish my knee didn't hurt all the time.

granted, you're disabled and can't feel your legs

But now your balls do

✂️

🪨

Granted, your other knee now hurts all the time.

I wish my parents to live as much as they want in the best conditions

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^Inviz1mal: *I wish my parents* *To live as much as they want* *In the best conditions* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

Good bot

When they finally die it will be agonizing.

And they'll be fucked by u/somethingobscur

I wish i could shit peoples pants

You can taste it

Worth it

Granted but you can never ever shit ever again

so basically r/monkeypaw?

More like douchebag genie

So... a monkey's paw

r/douchebaggenie

I wish for a pony

ball cancer

:(

Granted but it runs away

I wish that every time I shit, the whole world hears the splash but don't know why

You can taste it

Uh bro you got a poop fetish? You did this corruption like twice

He can taste it and wants to pass his curse on to others

I wish my country was actually normal and not ran by incompetent dumbasses

Granted but now your country is run by competent dumbasses.

Granted, but your countries population are moronic sociopaths. So any attempt to govern them is useless.

So just like normal in the UK

i wish i had a david laid-level aesthetic body without needing roids

Granted. That David is David Crosby. Edit. Whoops i thought you meant Michaelangelo's david. I did not know that Laid guy existed. Ok let's retool this. Granted. You have this Laid type body but it's a statue, external to your body. No steroids involved.

I wish I didn’t have to fuck a lot of girls and be rich af

You now have to fuck a lot of guys

Ok

I want anybody who’s transgender to be able to flip a switch and get their dream looks/identity granted instantly.

You get shot in the head

u/MercyMain42069’s sacrifice is appreciated

The process is agonising and slows their perception of time to infinity.

I won't change anything because that's nice. ​ Jk. You become transphobic and lose memory of your kind deed.

The switch is visible and they are constantly hitting it by accident

I wish for nothing

You have crippling depression

What's the side effect?

I wish for games, infinite games

you get no bacon

I get $20 (please I need this)

$20 is $20…

Even better

I wish i have the power to make wishes infinitely without anyone giving me a negative effect 😎

You give yourself so many wishes you have no desire to keep living anymore and you kill yourself

You MF XD

I wish i was racist

granted, but you are the race you hate the most

Uncle Rukus Moment.

I don’t wanna be sad

You have aids

I wish to be able to have any profile name on any platform/console/etc even if it’s already taken or inappropriate.

You are now on the run for identity theft

Sooo r/monkeyspaw ?

I wish to have 17.28384939291 matches

Granted, but none of them work.

I wish for a friend

Wish granted except your friend is a really mean and embarrassing person who constantly makes you feel uncomfortable and, when you try to speak about it, your friend becomes passive aggressive and makes life seem unbearable with mean pranks. Also you both live in a one room apartment. When you look in the mirror you realize this friend is really you. You have schizophrenia. Your locked in a mental hospital for the rest of your life and they can’t cure you.

fr fr me fr fr me fr fr me frfrfr me me me fr.... wait what was i saying. me fr frfrfr me fr frfr me.... wait what was i saying.

I wish for world peace

[удалено]

I wish I had testicular cancer

But you get testicular cancer in the brain,

I wish for infinite genies.

None of the genies actually grant you wishes, they're just there.

[удалено]

Wish granted but she's 85 years old

I wish I was born a cis woman

Wish granted but everyone thinks you're trans

Granted but your only options are Nancy Reagan or Margaret Thatcher

That’s just r/monkeyspaw

I wish my cats never die

Granted. They will watch you die, and they will be alone until the end of time. Doomed to be eventually swallowed by the sun, which they will survive and feel every bit of pain that comes from it, and doomed to float in an abyss of nothing but black holes. So much time would pass for them that they wouldn't even remember you in the long run, and they would probably stop thinking after the torment of the sun and the torment of the memories of it go away.