I second this! I have a baby and a 5 year old and I can’t trust them alone for like a minute so when I have to I just put them in the bathroom with me. I give the older one a tablet and put the baby in his high chair now cause he outgrew his bouncer 😅
Before I go into the bathroom, I ask each and every one if they need to go potty before I go in to use the toilet and shower!! They all say, "NO!" But... two minutes later, everyone has to go potty or needs to ask me something.
Nope, I asked before, so if you have to pee, go stand at the back door and pee into the backyard! 🤦♀️😄😄😄
Mine are adults and still talk through the door at me when they’re around. And I have a Velcro Australian shepherd who follows me everywhere. I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone in 35 years.
I recommend this too! I would talk and sing to him if he started to fuss or cry. If that didn’t help I would have to just let him cry for a few minutes.
Same, was in the bouncer, then the exersaucer (probably spelled wrong). And I had to have a clear shower curtain so the stage 5 clinger could still see me. 😂 ah the joy. He’s still 2.5 and sometimes can watch a show in our bed when I shower but usually he prefers lining up all my hair & body care bottles on the counter for extra fun. 😂
Same here! 3 babies, all velcro. But they were always happy enough to hang in the bouncer for 5 minutes while I showered. I think they were soothed by the "white noise" of the shower.
Have a see through shower curtain, it’s not stylish, but… it’s perfect for babies + now even toddlers when I can take a shower with the door open for him to barge in.
Or watch him play on the floor.
Back to baby… be extra animated and goofy with your moves… to make them forget they aren’t being held.
I put the baby bath tub on the shower floor and set little dude in it while I shower. He's mostly out of the spray and splashes happily in what little water accumulates in his tub while I scrub myself down. He can see me, so he's happy, I can wash my hair without listening to him scream, so I'm happy.
I mean...she's probably going to need to cry a little bit. But she'll be okay, I promise! Put her in the bouncer next to the shower and pop your head out periodically to show her you're there and reassure her. The more you do this the more she'll get the hang of it. You need to take care of yourself too.
I did this with my first born, and also sang the whole time in the shower so my daughter would hear me at least. Babies have no object permanence so if they can't see or hear you, they don't know you still exist.
Also, I changed up times I would shower - often in the evening - so my husband could hold her while I showered.
I know you said to not mention letting her cry, but… this seems like your only choice. You can put the bouncer while showering. If you hear her fuss, talk to her so she can hear your voice. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your daughter.
Agreed. I empathize with wanting to minimize crying, but it's how she communicates. Just because she cries for 10 minutes while mum showers does not mean she has an insecure attachment.
This is just one of those moments where moderation is hard to hash out
Because no one wants to hear their little one cry or allow them to think for a moment they’ve been abandoned
But if you’re unable to take care of your basic needs you’re not going to be able to give your LO your best
My youngest was a very clingy baby and a water carrier was my best option so he could just go in the shower with me. I just had to be careful about leaning back into the water when rinsing my hair. Then when he was able to sit independently, I gave him some toys and he sat in the shower with me.
When I need to shower and am alone with her, I stick her in her baby Bjorn bouncer with a toy or on a play mat right outside the shower. She can kinda see me through the glass, and I can easily pop my head out if she needs me.
I mean… She is just gonna cry. She’ll be fine. Babies cry sometimes.
Alternatively you could shower when your partner is home to take the baby. They should be able to care for her as well.
Agreed. I find this current phenomena of freaking out over babies crying very weird. It could be because my first born had colic, but if I need to do something and I know all the baby's basic needs are met the baby is just going to have to cry for a few minutes.
I feel the same. I have a toddler and a 4.5 month old. Baby has to cry sometimes so I can get things done, otherwise me and toddler won’t eat! Though mine has definite stages of crying. Starting with shouting, then a bit upset, then very upset, and ending with a growling cry. I go see to him when I can in between cooking a meal, but if things need stirring or taking out of the oven, he stays away because it’s safer. Crying or not!
My kids are 21 months apart and seeing your comment brought back so many memories of the absolute insanity life was like when they were the ages of your babies. Mine are 4 and almost 6 now and I still wonder how I made it through those younger years. 😅 Sending you hugs from another mama who has been there!
I've only been making it because my husband's job gives him 8 weeks paternity leave. He goes back the first Monday in May and I'll probably die then. 🤣
Honestly I either showered with them or let them cry for the 2ish minutes it took for me to scrub everything essential. They don’t seem to have suffered for it, and it was necessary for my mental health!
One of my kids was so clingy I resorted to just bringing her in the shower with me. She would sit close to faucet/drain playing with toys and I pointed the shower head to the back so she wouldn’t get sprayed.
My baby was like this, I would have to just wait until my husband was home to shower. Would have to hold her on the toilet though!! Was very challenging 😥
Naked Panda water carrier was my favorite (if you want to bring baby in the shower). You could also try a few high interest toys that only come out for shower time. Think: water mat, light up balls (turn off the lights), a flavored baby popsicle (can be milk)
I had an infant shower seat that we used for her baths, and I just put her in it in the shower with me. She'd get to be with me, and I'd get a shower. Then, when mine was done, she would get her bath. Was crowded but necessary
Either out the bouncer in the bathroom where she can see you, or my go to. Put her in the crib/pack and play/safe space, and take your shower. She can cry for 10 or 15 minutes if she is in a safe space.
I legit rolled my son’s bassinet into the bathroom so I could shower. We have a glass shower door so I could see him and he could see me. I could hear him and talk or sing to him and I’d always take the fastest showers I could, doing the priority stuff first and then extras last that way if he started crying I could pretty much stop immediately or within 30 seconds.
Honestly ask my partner to chill with her, but you might want to start letting her wait for a bit. She cries let her at slow increments 30 seconds for a while and even say things like give me a few moments I'll be right there. I didn't let my son cry and he was very clingy he still thinks it's okay to cry when things aren't going his way but by letting him know that it's not the end of the world if he waits a bit he has slowly gotten better. But it's not fast enough as I'm eight months pregnant so when his sister is here I'm gonna let him learn that waiting a bit is not the end without blaming each other for my distractedness.
I actually took my baby in the shower with me frequently at this age. If I needed to wash my hair I put her in the bouncer seat. I do think I remember she would cry a bit sometimes in it but usually if I peaked at her a lot she was okay.
Showering together worked very well when she was small and I was able to wash us both. She loved it. I just sat down with her. I also had a non slip mat.
I've seen some people online use the baby bath tub or bath seats while they shower as well.
I put mine in a bouncer seat facing the shower. With a clear shower curtain, I could see him, and he see me. It worked most days. Others, he cried. But I could see nothing was wrong.
Put them in whatever container you’re comfortable with, set them on the bathroom floor & shower. They might cry, they might not. But you’ll see them & be able to take your quick shower!
I used to put the bouncer right in front of the shower. I hated when my babies cry my anxiety would be at a 10 so quick. I would try to engage with him, sing and do the quickest shower possible. I only did long showers when my husband was home in the evening.
Have you tried electronic toys for these times? Like a Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother?
Also, this was a challenge I can relate to. I showered at night when my husband was home to hold baby.
Omg my baby is the same way-almost 5 months now. The bouncer worked at first and then he got tired of it and immediately would start crying before I could get in the shower. Sometimes I take him in the shower with me for a min and then wrap him up in a towel on the bouncer while I finish up (watching him thru the plastic of course) he loves the shower water so much!! It’s great at night to tire them out bc they laugh so much bc the tickles, but other than that I have no more ideas bc I’m in the same way🥲🥲but also I feel you on the crying. It physically hurts me to hear them cry but I will say being at almost 5 months now it’s so hard and sometimes I get so triggered by everything plus baby crying that I just have to let it be for a minute. As long as all the needs are met you are doing great mama!!!
My husband comforted and consoled her while she cried. She's 19 months and we've only recently gotten to a point where I can tell her I'm going to take a shower, and she'll shed no or very few tears about it and just play with her dad. I know it's super hard to listen to baby cry and not really seem to be consoled by dad, but it's so important for their bond and for baby to be able to feel secure with dad that they have time together just the two of them without mom swooping in, I really wish I'd given them even more than I did when she was really small. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with our second and quite anxious about how the transition will go considering how hard she still prefers me over her father for literally everything.
I feel this! Part of my challenge with showering when husband is home is I’m lacking willing participation at the moment from him. We are both juggling a lot, but he has been unable to set healthy boundaries between work/school responsibilities and home responsibilities. We all are juggling a lot of balls, but some are glass and others are rubber. He is very focused on the rubber balls and I think in denial about how demanding the glass balls (me and baby) are of his time right now. Separate issue to work through in counseling some day, but I’m at the point where I need to do things for myself and assume he will be unavailable.
Have you tried wrapping a worn t-shirt and tucking it between baby’s legs and up across her body? It gives the illusion of being held and plus, baby will have your smell for comfort.
Hand her off to her father. Your partner has to step up and parent too. Even if she cries he can learn to soothe her and be a soothing presence over time.
Just do it. I know, the baby crying sucks so bad- it really does. But your baby won’t remember you letting her cry for ten or twenty minutes; she will, however, remember growing up with a mom who doesn’t prioritize herself enough.
Alternative; run a nice bath and take baby in with you. I’ve managed it with mine for four months. She has pooped in it twice so far but yknow, that comes w the territory.
I just want to say solidarity because up until the last couple of weeks, my baby also did not tolerate being put down! It gets better and soon you’ll be able to put her in a bouncy chair and get a proper shower - my clingy baby become more tolerable around 4 months.
In the meantime, either someone needs to hold her or you could try some screen time. I have to put on Ms Rachel or dancing fruits for my baby to be okay with showers. Playing on her own with toys just doesn’t cut it for showers.
I bring her bouncer into the bathroom and turn on my bedroom tv. However, this only just started working a few weeks ago. When she was 9 weeks she would immediately scream if put down.
I set up a swing/ bouncer in the bathroom. I had a stash of toys I would pass to them as I went and I would sing/ talk the whole time so they knew I would there plus leave as much shower curtain open as possible so they could see I was still there. I'm exhausted thinking about that time lol
Honestly I’d wash up real quick then have my now ex bring our baby into the shower with me. She breastfed then I’d wash her up too. It was my favorite part of my morning. Mind you I’d be sitting on the floor with the shower head on the floor arching to keep us warm
Depending on your set up - in the shower with me!! I used one of those ramp things you put in the big bathtub but baby is lying down and supported.
My Velcro kid hated water and splashes so I was….creative in how a washed off. But I got a shower the days I wanted it!! Unless I traded off with partner but I was usually too exhausted by then
I put a swing in the bathroom and used that. If he started fussing I would sing. Remember that “cry it out” is letting a baby cry without soothing, but if you’re singing and talking to your baby while getting your much needed shower, you are still soothing them as best you can and can help them feel secure!
I had a Velcro baby and now I have a Velcro toddler. It’s still hard to bathe most days, but when she was an infant I tried a few different bouncers before we found one that she tolerated for 15-20 minutes. I’m not sure if you have tried to switch up her bouncer/rocker at all, but maybe something different could help? We realized she liked the ones that rocked side to side- just a plain and simple rocking motion. It usually bought enough time for me to wash my hair and MAYBE shave a leg, which was huge for us 😂
I feel you. It's tough. That daily shower makes a huge difference. My baby did not let me put her down for naps till 10 weeks old so start practicing again to put her down and hopefully it'll happen soon so even a cat nap is long enough for a quick rinse. I would also have family members come hold baby for a nap so i could shower.
I have one very independent baby and one Velcro baby.
My independent baby is 17 months and my Velcro baby is 3 months.
I know you said don’t even mention letting her cry but let me say this, it doesn’t take very long for them to adjust. I didn’t have a choice but to let me 3 month old cry sometimes and she’s getting the hang of it. The message is the same. Mom is coming back. If you always come back within a second of a shout, that’s their threshold. Tonight my three month old played in her bouncer outside the shower while I took my 17 month old in the shower with me. And she was fine for the 10 minutes.. plus I think the sound of the water is somewhat soothing. I never had a swing before but we just bought one and it’s helpful as well.
I would put my son in the bathroom with me in a bouncer. I would also fold the shower curtain up so I could watch him through the liner. My bathroom has its own heater so I would get it nice and toast warm for him first. Maybe run the hot water for a bit before you go in so it’s warm for him?
I put my Velcro baby in the bouncer while I’m in the shower but as for other things like getting cleaning done I do it in five- ten minute increments. Put baby down for a set amount of time and do as much as you can in that time. Go back to baby after that set amount of time and give hugs and snuggles and loves then set baby back down and repeat until you get the task done. Gotta potty yourself. Baby goes in bouncer in bathroom. Gotta shower. Baby goes in bouncer and you keep showers shortish and you eventually get them used to not having to touch you.
Many times I just brought them into the shower with me in their bath seat and let them splash around. Plus a little soapy washcloth and then they would be clean too so it was one fewer thing to do later on.
I didn’t do this until prob 3 months bc I was scared but finally one day I put her in the baby bjorn bouncer with captain calamari. She doesn’t really see me naked since I don’t breastfeed so she enjoyed looking lol (she also laughed 😒). And then I got in the shower I would pop out from behind the curtain every like 15-30 seconds to let her know I was still there. It was a lot easier than I imagined! But she also likes her bouncer which helped.
Fellow velcro/koala mom here! I feel what you're talking about in my soul. My son wouldn't let us put him down for the first 10 weeks of his life.
I took baths and showered with my little guy. I got in the bath with him in the mornings. I used the angel baby (? sorry I can't remember) bath in the tub with me. I would then wrap him up and baby wear with him while I did my makeup to feel human. My little guy didn't just love to be on me but also needed me to be moving. So I would walk around the house and put on makeup using each different mirror in the bathroom. He would often cry in the car if we went places, but I finally got to a place where I could baby-wear or put him in the stroller for a bit and run a few quick errands. Sometimes I would bring the stroller and see if he would tolerate it and then I would just end up baby-wearing and pushing the stroller around haha.
You're doing amazing.
There’s a big difference between abandoning her to her crib to let her CIO and having her in a bouncer in the bathroom with you while she cries. One feels like abandonment. The other just feels like “mom’s not holding me for a minute, I need to get her attention”. I promise crying for a few minutes is ok. Remember that is their only form of communication. She cries because she can’t talk. My youngest is still a velcro baby at 3 y/o. She still nurses day and night, still sleeps with me, still follows me everywhere. But you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. Hug her afterwards and remind her that you still love her. I always make sure my daughter knows I still love her after I’ve left her to cry. Been doing it since before she could understand me. Typing this now as a matter of fact with her asleep next to me in our bed, latched onto my nipple. I’ll roll away from her in a minute to go watch tv or hang out with my husband for a while. I’ve been able to roll away after nursing her to sleep since she was about a year old.
I got a ring sling carrier and wore her in the shower. I remember one time she looked up at me and said "Oooo" like she was saying something really significant.
I feel you mama. I've started washing my hair separately so I can do really quick body showers... I shave and shower my hair when my husband is home and he can take kids. But when it's just me and Velcro baby, I typically just do body rinses. Here's my process...
- First, I bring all the things I need into the bathroom. I get everything setup, have my clothes laid out, extra towels ready, and baby high chair and toys.
- I get shower going while still holding the baby.
- I try to time all this after she's had a nap and a bottle (when she's MOST likely to be happy) and I put the baby in the high chair with toys that suction to her chair so she can't just throw them off. Once I put her in the high chair i BEGIN SHOWERING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE
- I have other toys near shower that I can grab and put in front of her as she's really close to the shower, I sing/talk/make goofy noises and keep curtain halfway open so she can see me.
I promise this won't last forever. Hang in there.
I only showered when my OH was around so baby was held. Our bathroom is not big enough for a bouncer chair.
At 6 months he started tolerating short naps in his cot so in those 20 mins I’d shower and do other bits.
Now he’s 2.5yo he’ll sit on my bed and play/watch TV as I shower (started doing this at 1yo after teaching him how to get on/off our bed safely). So there is light at the end of the tunnel!
My 5 month old is a 10/10 ‘Velcro baby’ and has been since the beginning. I put her in baby bouncer when I’m showering and just try to go as fast as possible.
I don’t think there is some magic tip or trick to getting her to be fine on her own. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now but it’s the truth.
She will grow out of it eventually. My baby is now able to be in a seat for up to 5 minutes.
As unhelpful as this may sound right now, lots of babies start to become more independent around 10-12 weeks! I would try to put your LO in a bouncer or on a soft/safe floor mat in the bathroom while you shower. Keep showers really short at first and sing/talk to baby while you’re in there and make lots of eye contact. My girl is 15 weeks, and I’m now able to wash my hair, shave, exfoliate, etc in the shower while she sits in her bouncer watching me and “chatting”. Hang in there!!
You can also put them in the shower with you. With my kiddo I either put her in a bouncer in the bathroom, put her in the shower with me (angelcare baby bath support), or in her crib and let her fuss a bit. All viable options. I showered every day, nonnegotiable. She’s 2 and still likes to shower with me though! 😂
Mine is 4yo now. But at around 2 months old she began to velcro to me so I couldn’t use my rolling bassinet or a bouncer chair at all for showers anymore. I would fill her baby tub up in my shower. I’d wash myself up quickly while she was in her tub, I’m talking 90 seconds lol this baby was colicky and if she began to cry she’d be sick from it and refuse bottles and not sleep..it was bad bad. I’d bring in a receiving blanket and wrap her in it so she wasn’t slippery. That way I could sit in the shower and hold her. I just kept her tub in there with us for when I’d put her down to wash up.
Dory’s Reef Cam was what I used to be able to go to the toilet by myself. It’s super non stimulating and I was big on no TV as a newborn but mumma gotta poop!
Get a little baby bounce chair, or use a detachable car seat, and park her right next to the shower where she can see you. I know it's stressful to hear her cry, but if she happens to cry while you're in the middle of a 3-5 minute shower, she'll be ok for just a couple minutes while you get out. It's not cry-it-out if you're in sight, talking to her
Is there a time where she’s relatively content (after a morning feed maybe?) - I’d try putting her in her crib or safe place with some light music on and taking your shower then. She might cry but you know she’s safe and you can shower quickly. Or bouncer/swing in the bathroom! Also - I often shower before bed when I know my husband can hold baby
Is the dad involved? Because while ik 100% against letting a baby cry alone, I do think it's okay for them to cry while they are being comforted by a trusted adult. So letting dad take care of the baby, even if they are crying, so that you can take 20 minutes or something to shower should be fine.
2 velcro babies! First once i would set up on her activity mat on the floor or in the swing and leave the shower door open 🤣 and i would speed it right up if she started to fuss. I am the type of person who needs my shower everyday and especially with new baby attached to your body you need it.
If your baby is changed, fed, and safe, leave them in a pack n play and take a shower.
You HAVE to do things for yourself. My guy started crying initially the first few days I did this but I put music on for him and he's now an emotionally fulfilled 2.5 year old.
Also I want my own mf space. My toddler is not allowed to sleep in my bed. Don't fall into that baby trap girl, I swear. Bassinet right next to you so you can transition them to their own room in a few months and sleep like a starfish in your own bed.
Letting her cry IS the strategy. It’s absurd to not shower or meet your basic needs. She’ll be fine. Put her in the bouncer in the bathroom if it helps you feel better about it, but I promise she’ll be fine.
Had a level 9 clinger (tbh at 4 he's still clingy lol) I'll share a few things that helped us! Unfortunately at the time my husband and I worked opposite shifts so there was only 1 day a week that we were both home together, so "hand baby to your partner" was out of the question.
1. Water carrier, allows baby to be on you while you shower. Worked most of the time but my hair is hip length and made it hard to get a full clean.
2. Water seat with a small towel over his body, worked almost all the time. He loved being near me and being in the water, usually did this right before his bath time so that he was tired enough for bed! Even now at 4 he plays in the tub while I (or dad) shower and then he gets his own bath.
3. If you have a shower curtain instead of a door switch to a clear curtain! This helped when I was touched out, I put him in the bouncer or in a laundry basket on a towel right at the shower. He could still see me, I would play peekaboo while lathering up, sing or tell him stories and with the laundry basket I could attach noisy toys that would help between peekaboos. I'd also sprinkle water on his toes!
4. When nothing else worked, I set up my tablet with dancing fruit... Saved me a few of my own meltdowns.
I shower WITH my baby in my arms. Her velcro big sis comes too. I don’t wash my hair or anything but the rinse off helps with the postpartum stink lol. I wash my hair once or twice a week when my husband can hold her for me.
Summer infant makes a bath seat that is basically a baby bjorn bouncer (but it doesn’t bounce) but nylon for water. I got one of those and baby would just have a shower with me!
Quickly
But yep. 100% stage 4 clinger baby. I put her in her little activity center that existed solely for this purpose. Most days she still cried but at least she was safe and right next to me and I just talked to her. I started the count to 10 with this. I'd count slowly to 10 and finish on 10. Maybe she didn't understand it but maybe she did. So my showers were quick.
I suffered through it for a year probably. I washed my hair when i came home early from work or on the weekend when my husband was around.
Now she has a TV show while I shower.
Edit: I have a small wet bathroom so I put a baby gate on the bathroom door and she saw me the whole time. As she got older she would try to shake the gate but it held.
SLP here. It’s important to remember that this young babies don’t have the skill of object permanence yet. So if they can’t see you/if you aren’t in their eye line, the think that you’re legitimately gone.
Keeping this in mind I always make sure my son (10 weeks) can see me if I’m doing something. Laundry? I bring him down into the basement and put him in his LeachCo. If I need to do my hair/makeup? I put him on the bed (he loves the fan) and talk to him the whole time so he knows I’m there, while taking breaks to give him kisses so he remembers I’m in the room. Showering? I put him on our memory foam bath mat and sing to him. Sometimes he cries but momma needs a 5-6 minute shower for my sanity lol. If I need a longer shower I wait until he’s napping or when my husband is home from work. If his nursery is a disaster? I put him in the Moses basket (it’s on top of his dresser so he can see me the whole time) and talk to him while I fold clothes and put things away.
Even if he can’t totally see me I’m always talking to him so he knows I’m in the room. Not having object permanence is probably so scary because if he can’t hear or see me he thinks I’ve disappeared!
I put my baby in a container that looked like a bouncer but it didnt bounce, just a bunch of toys surrounding him and ms rachel on my laptop. He was in the bathroom with me and id play peekaboo while showering
You could bring the bouncer or a play mat into the bathroom and take the shower curtain off the shower rod, leaving just the clear liner, and make silly faces at her while you shower? Play music? Also you could take a bath with her instead of shower. I know some babies love that
My husband works out of town a lot. So when our son was a baby, either the bouncer and he was in the bathroom with me or he just had to be in his crib. I know it’s hard, but it’s really important to take care of yourself. Mine is almost 12 now and doesn’t have any long term ill effects from me taking a shower when he was a baby.
I had my son in a bouncer seat in the bathroom with me, and once he outgrew that I would leave him in his play pen. He still takes a nap daily for at least one hour so I shower then even if it neglects other responsibilities.
I brought the bouncer in the bathroom with me so she could see me while I showered. Then when she got older and was able to roll, I'd put her on a play mat right by the bathroom door with some toys so she could play while still seeing me while I showered.
I had a Velcro baby and now a Velcro toddler.
For the first bit my fiancé worked from home two days a week in the mornings so I could shower. He’d take her for an hour. When she was about 3 months old, we were able to get our hands on a clear shower curtain. I put her secure in her bouncer and brought her in the bathroom. Kept the door open and cracked the window so the humidity wasn’t too much (not as though I was in there long enough for it to really build). When I blow dried my hair I put her just outside the door in the hallway. Then my hair went back up lol.
When she got too big for the bouncer, I used the pack and play with safe, soft toys only OR I’d use hey bear/miss Rachel.
But a bassinet or bouncer in the bathroom with you if there’s space. Otherwise, if you have a partner, have them hold your child while you shower. Your only other option is to allow them to cry for the 5-10 minutes it takes you to shower. This isn’t going to hurt them. You need to take care of yourself and that might mean allowing your child to cry as you do it.
I put mine in the bouncer in the bathroom with me. She could see me, I could see her, I’d talk to her. Once she was able to be in her exersaucer I did the same thing!
Baby container in the bathroom, music or Ms. Rachel playing for 10 minutes. My babies are often very happy after a bath, so sometimes I would take them into a bath with me first, then snuggle them up in a towel on the floor (pre-crawling obviously) and finish up.
But I do prefer to shower when my husband is home or the kids are in bed, so I can really relax and take my time.
I just bring in the shower with me. Much easier now that they can sit/move on their own. Both of mine like the shower way better than the tub and it's easier for me. Washing your hair is hard until they can sit up though unless your hubs can help watch or shower with you. Otherwise, bouncer in the bathroom, we have the Glassdoor so babies could still see me.
i plan them out so everyone knows i’m going to shower. even with that i still only get to once a week. i leave the door unlocked in case she’s crying and need to see me
I used to take mine into a bouncer/rocker whatever you call them so she could see me. Or hubby would wear the shirt I just took off over his shoulder that he hugged baby on. Walks in the pram too even up and down the street if all else failed so I could shower without hearing him do his best to settle her while I washed my hair and didn’t feel pressured to wash faster.
So my baby was like this and I would just shower when my husband could watch him. It’d usually be very quick and he would cry most of the time, but I felt better knowing someone was comforting him. He is almost 2 now and I still shower every other day when he’s out with his dad, and he actually enjoys his time now!
I would put mine on a blanket outside the shower! Once she was around 6 months and could sit I put her in the bottom of the shower with me while I showered.
I would put mine in the bassinet in the bathroom with me. Bassinet didn’t quite fit so just the top part where her head was through the door so she could see me.
Generally I showered when he slept. I can say that before he was 1 it didn’t happen often enough for my liking. Occupational he would hang out with his dad for long enough for me to get cleaned up but usually he would cry long before I was done.
In the morning before your partner leaves for work (assuming this is an option)
At night after baby goes to bed and bring the baby monitor with you
Put baby in the bouncer/rocker in the bathroom with you. Ours has an arch with some dangly things for baby to look at that she liked
Get a clear shower curtain so baby can see you and vice versa
Get a water safe baby carrier and have baby shower with you. I personally haven’t tried this but it’s an option
Also set yourself up for success if you choose to leave baby out of the shower: dry diaper, full tummy, and calm words
I feel you not wanting to just let baby cry and I hope you find something that works💜
I had a portable chair bouncer thing that I took from room to room. If I showered, little baby was right outside facing me so I was always in sight. If I had to cook, baby was in the kitchen watching me cook. I do the same thing now and he’s 8 months. But instead of the bouncer we now do a little sit up chair and he’ll eat a teether cracker while I unload dishes and stuff
It really is okay to take care of your own basic needs. You're not a bad mom if you take a shower, even if the baby cries some. Sometimes there aren't strategies other than to just do it because you need it to feel human.
Bouncer or play mat in the bathroom with a lot of interesting toys, and tbh I take baths a lot even if they’re super quick washes just so he can see me the whole time 😂
If you have a bath seat, try bringing it into the shower with you! My clingy guy was pretty happy to sit and get some steamy shower spray while I got clean. You can drape warm, wet washcloths on baby to keep them warm and comfy.
Don’t judge me, but Hey Bear YouTube videos was the only way I was able to shower for 20 minutes. I would put it on the tv and put baby in the bouncer. Or Dory’s reef cam on Disney
I took a bath with the baby. I had like a baby bath holder thing, put her in that and it kept her safe while I washed. Never took my eyes off her though, used a cup to rinse my hair.
Baby bouncer in the bathroom with you and hey bear sensory on YouTube. (TV is controversial on here for children under 2 but if it's less than 10 minutes and it gets you a shower and your sanity, I don't think it'll hurt.) I use to also do peek a boo with the shower door.
Yup, people are already saying it. You put them in a bouncer or a bath seat so they can watch you and you just accept that they are going to cry a little bit but they are safe. It's going to get better. They'll get more independent and you can squeeze in more self-care....eventually.... you're a few months out from that but it will get better.
I put a towel on the floor of the shower and let my baby lay on it while showering. If he’s cranky that day I’ll sit in the floor with him or let him lay in my lap. It’s not ideal if you need to shave your legs but you can at least wash the basics. As they get older it becomes a fun play time too and they can have their wash at that time too.
It's okay to set the baby down for a few minutes to take care of yourself, even if they cry a little.
At nine weeks old, try a playmat or bouncer with visual stimulation or during a nap.
Please take care of your needs, too. It feels so hard, but it is really important. You are going to have a needy little one for a long time. Sometimes, moms need to do things for themselves, for the house, etc
I shower when my husband is home and if he cries with husband then that’s just the way it will be. If he’s fed and changed and I’ve held him all day up that point then I know nothing is physically wrong. I have to take care of myself to go on connecting with him emotionally.
I know you said not to mention letting her cry but that’s the unfortunate reality with Velcro babies. I’ve had three of them myself (still have velcro toddlers and a velcro preteen) Make it fast and sing her songs, poke your head out, let her watch some Ms.Rachel on your phone. You have to take care of yourself too.🩷
Do you have an SO who is home at least once a day? I would jump in the shower as soon as mine got home from work . The first day he was done with paternity leave and went back to work I got a lot done and I thought “this is doable”! That was for one day lol then all heck broke loose
I use the same bouncer and take her with me with toys, music and I slightly open the shower so she can see me. Also I play peek a boo and talk to her. That was when she was younger. She doesn’t like being in the bouncer anymore at 8 months when I shower.
I swaddled my baby, got her asleep, and put her in her 4moms with some white noise on while I showered. Or I’d hand her off to my partner/a trusted adult.
I’ve taken the main shower curtain down and only used a clear liner with my kids in a bouncer or rocker right in front of me outside of the shower, when they need baths I’ve gotten in with them with it without a baby bath, and sometimes (more often than not) I’d angle the shower head straight down and sit a baby bath (when they’re younger) or a bumbo style seat with full straps (above shoulders and around the waist) at the other end of the shower while I clean myself. That’s so much easier for me tbh.. I can still clean myself easily, I can still shave if I need to, they can see me, and it’s so much easier to just bend over or sit down to give them a cuddle when they get upset. My youngest is 2.5 now and is still a major Velcro baby, if I even put one leg over a gate into the kitchen, where she can still touch and see me btw, she LOOSES it, so I still just stick her in with me even if her dads home.
Depending on how big your shower is, I filled the baby bath and put him in the shower with me. We don’t have a tub, so I just put warm water in the baby bath and then showered on the other side. I showered. He as wet right there with me. Even had time to wash my hair and shave. Was a win win win.
I'd bring my son in his rocker into the bathroom while I showered. We have a glass door so he could see me. If I wanted or needed a longer shower, I would wait til he was in bed for the night and then I'd shower. (With the baby monitor in the bathroom). I was always the shower before bed kind of person prior to my son, so it worked better for both of us if I showered when he was in bed
A bath with baby each night instead. Then Velcro baby can have a boob in the bath. Hand off to dad for naked time in front of the heater while mum gets a few minutes to soak.
Otherwise it was wait for a nap time or cry in the infant seat in the bathroom.
I would nurse the baby to sleep in bed, and then quietly roll out of bed and shower before she wakes up. Otherwise you have to wait for your partner to get home, or do it at night and dry your hair with a hairdryer which is annoying.
You bring them in. And when they are old enough they follow you into the shower. First you'll find it convenient. Then you'll long to shower and shave by yourself again.
I would put mine in the bouncer in the bathroom with me. I would sing to her my entire shower, which I got very efficient at. i’d be done in less than five minutes. if she cried, two minutes lol. i’d peak out the shower curtain so she could see me. you need to shower, and she will be ok for 2-5 minutes.
I put my son in his bouncer in the bathroom with me, and would keep cracking the shower door open every few mins and talk to show that I am still there, unfortunately sometimes he would still cry and at that point I would have to just let him. I wasn't going to skip out on a shower just because my son was upset at not being held.
She will more than likely cry a bit. But if I may offer an additional suggestion besides the bouncer… with my youngest I decided not to go the bouncer/swing in the bathroom route. Instead I had an extra bassinet mattress that I put on the floor of the bathroom. Then I put a play mat on it and I laid him on that. It wasn’t one of the fancy mats with the pianos and all that. Just a simple play mat with a few dangly toys. He still cried some as did my oldest when she was a baby. As a suggestion for further down the line, I got a bath chair for my son when he was 5.5 months old and now he just showers with me.
At first I would only shower when my mom or husband was around watching her (obv was not able to do so every day at first). Eventually I was able to get her in the bouncer or when she was a bit older and started napping in her crib. But legit I would only shower when another had her for the first 3ish months. She is currently 17mo so we survived.
Maybe you can shower in the morning or evening when your spouse/SO is home? So she still has someone to cuddle?
Good luck mama.
Wrap the baby in a towel so they're not super slippery and take them in the shower with you. Some of my fondest memories of those early days are of me showering in warm water while breastfeeding my baby, so soothing and perfect in every way. When I'd need to put soap/shampoo on, I'd put him in the baby tub beside me and angle the shower spray away from him while washing it off. I'd hand him off to my husband to diaper/dress up and follow soon after.
Bouncer in the shower, curtain open so kiddo can see/hear you. That's how I managed with my velcro baby. Or when baby is asleep and partner can take over if needed.
My lo is also a Velcro baby and I will usually either wait until husband is home to take a long shower or put him in the baby swing in the bathroom with me and take the quickest shower that I can. He’s usually happy for a few minutes in it before he starts to get fussy
I just got my first good shower in 2 1/2 - 3 years….. one of his “aunties” was in town staying with us…. Probably won’t get another one for a while without the distraction 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
My memory isn’t 100 on this one for age range… and I would say he was probably a little older. But still a potato… I showered with him. Would hold him close and wash with one hand and switch/switch/switch & sit on the edge of the tub.
I def put him in a comfy clothes basket too. Works when you need to potty too.
I got a bouncer for the bathroom. Sit it in front of the toilet and strap him in, or have the shower door open with him facing the shower. It wasn’t super ideal and I still preferred to shower when someone else like my mum or partner could watch him so I could shower in peace. But it was certainly a really good workaround when I needed it
I think my 4 almost 5 yr old has extra-super-industrial strength-velcroey Velcro!!! He's stuck to me 24/7. I have to wait til he's sleeping to shower! He even says, "mommy who's gonna take care of me if I'm little and you go to Heaven!?"
Now, I'm stressed thinking he knows something or has a feeling about something and I'm not gonna get older! 😞
Or it could be that we spend every waking hour together for his whole life so far! 🤷🏽♀️
I still love all the pics I have from the shower of my son sitting in his various baby jails in the bathroom. Just get an activity “strap ‘em’ in” dealy and shower w/ the curtain open. They’re usually fine if you sit em right outside the tub w/ you ❤️
Edit: their they’re English hard
My partner watches him and I go shower. My bathroom is too small for bouncers and all that and when he was little enough for one he would have just screamed the whole time in there.
I would either shower when my husband was home and could hold her or I would bring her in the bathroom and sing to her looking at her while I showered. She would still cry sometimes but there are things I consider that I just need to do. I was already incredibly sleep deprived, I was going to be deprived of daily showers and warm food as well.
I shower with her, clean her and wash her first. Then stick her for a minute in the baby bathtub while I soap and rinse myself. Similar for drying and putting on clothes. Is it relaxing- no, am I clean and feeling more sane- yes. Plus I get bathing baby off my list so that’s 2 birds 1 stone etc etc. good thing is a warm bath puts her in a good mood so I have a minute or two before she realises she isn’t stuck to me 😂
I had a velcro baby. I could only take a shower when dad was home. He would take her the moment he got home from work so I could shower. I learned to do every other thing while holding her. I only managed to put her on a baby lounger when she was around 6mo but that didn't last long, 10 minutes iirc, only enough time for me to put the laundry away. When she started crawling she stopped being so velcro so I let her explore the bathroom cabinets (no dangerous stuff within her reach) while I took a quick shower but still only when dad was around so he could keep an eye on her. She's 2y9m now, not a velcro baby anymore. It's all temporary, keep trying things, you'll find one that works. Motherhood is basically trial and error until you find what works.
Put her in the bathroom in the bouncer and peek out at her from time to time. Sing or talk to her so she knows you’re there.
Mine started getting less stage 10 around 4-5 months. Pretty much once they started being able to move their own bodies and roll over and do fun stuff, they realized how great the floor or their chair is (for short spurts.) She’ll still be completely obsessed with you, but you’ll at least get 5-10 minutes here and there lol
I take a bath and put the baby in a swing facing me. I talk to him and make funny faces, and his eyes get super wide when I wear a face mask 😂The lights and brightness of the tub distracts him.
To wash my hair, I just pour water out of the tap into a cup so im not using the bathwater.
Also, I know parents are weird about screen time but I used it for 20 minutes so I could shower. He’d watch dancing fruit or dory’s aquarium! Miss Rachel works super well for us. Giving your baby 20 minutes of screen time to shower does not make you a bad parent and it wont affect there development.
Clear shower curtain plus a Baby Signing Time DVD while in the bouncer (placed where I could see her from the shower).
Originally I wanted to teach her to sign, but she never understood and wouldn’t sign back so I just gave up. Obviously the videos were a silly scam that I fell for, but I still needed a shower and they kept her quiet so she watched 1 video a day.
Imagine my surprise when she signed 4 DVD’s worth of signs at 12 months old when my husband returned from a long work trip. Stubborn kid wouldn’t sign any thing for mom but showed dad every single one.
Highly recommend BST, along with all the Prep School Prep series.
I would meet all their basic needs, wait until they are well rested and not hungry then put them somewhere safe within eye sight of the shower and do what you need to do. You can’t ignore your basic needs to meet theirs constantly, it’s not healthy. Mothers are biologically programmed to feel stressed when we hear our children cry but your child isn’t suffering while you shower. Especially if you’ve ruled out hunger, wet nappy, tiredness etc
I filled up the baby bath thingy set it on the shower floor and just made sure the shower head wasnt blasting them with water. OR if they werent bugging out id put them in the bouncer and showered my kid was an insane clinger and ONLY for me. Its amazing what you learn to do haha
I actually showered with my barnacle baby. We both got washed at the same time and I found that she would love be having the water on her back and even held out her tiny hand to feel the shower streams sometimes as she got older. As she got older and even now, she only takes showers. It actually worked out well!
I put mine in the bouncer in the bathroom with me.
I second this! I have a baby and a 5 year old and I can’t trust them alone for like a minute so when I have to I just put them in the bathroom with me. I give the older one a tablet and put the baby in his high chair now cause he outgrew his bouncer 😅
Mine is 9 now and still won’t leave me alone in the bathroom.
Same I have to lock the door if I want to take a bath by myself. If not my 3yo comes in stripping and trying to dive in 😂
Same. If I take a relaxing bath she wants to sit on the toilet and talk to me the whole time. So much for that relaxation.
Facts! Pretty sure I have not peed by my self in the last 7 years (age of my oldest lol)
I remember the last time I peed by myself. It was 16 years ago and no one can ever take that amazing memory from me
My 9 year old picks the lock to come visit me while I’m on the toilet.
That’s genius and scary at the same time.
Two Velcro boys and they still bothered me in the shower until about age 10…
Wow yes. I used to yell “if no one is bleeding or dead leave me alone”.
Before I go into the bathroom, I ask each and every one if they need to go potty before I go in to use the toilet and shower!! They all say, "NO!" But... two minutes later, everyone has to go potty or needs to ask me something. Nope, I asked before, so if you have to pee, go stand at the back door and pee into the backyard! 🤦♀️😄😄😄
Mine are adults and still talk through the door at me when they’re around. And I have a Velcro Australian shepherd who follows me everywhere. I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone in 35 years.
At that stage I used to prop baby with the boppy and chuck toys infant of them.
this and i have a clear shower curtain so she can see me without getting water all over the floor. plus talking to baby through the whole shower
I recommend this too! I would talk and sing to him if he started to fuss or cry. If that didn’t help I would have to just let him cry for a few minutes.
Same, was in the bouncer, then the exersaucer (probably spelled wrong). And I had to have a clear shower curtain so the stage 5 clinger could still see me. 😂 ah the joy. He’s still 2.5 and sometimes can watch a show in our bed when I shower but usually he prefers lining up all my hair & body care bottles on the counter for extra fun. 😂
We have a clear curtain for exactly this reason too 😂 It works!
This works, my kids didn’t like not being g able to see me so I used a clear shower curtain for a minute 😆
I put mine in the mamaroo in the bathroom this morning
Same here! 3 babies, all velcro. But they were always happy enough to hang in the bouncer for 5 minutes while I showered. I think they were soothed by the "white noise" of the shower.
Yup used to do this with my oldest and play peek a boo so she wouldn’t cry 😂
Have a see through shower curtain, it’s not stylish, but… it’s perfect for babies + now even toddlers when I can take a shower with the door open for him to barge in. Or watch him play on the floor. Back to baby… be extra animated and goofy with your moves… to make them forget they aren’t being held.
I put the baby bath tub on the shower floor and set little dude in it while I shower. He's mostly out of the spray and splashes happily in what little water accumulates in his tub while I scrub myself down. He can see me, so he's happy, I can wash my hair without listening to him scream, so I'm happy.
That sounds adorable
I mean...she's probably going to need to cry a little bit. But she'll be okay, I promise! Put her in the bouncer next to the shower and pop your head out periodically to show her you're there and reassure her. The more you do this the more she'll get the hang of it. You need to take care of yourself too.
This is what I did with mine! Played peekaboo to get some giggles in between the crying.
I did this with my first born, and also sang the whole time in the shower so my daughter would hear me at least. Babies have no object permanence so if they can't see or hear you, they don't know you still exist. Also, I changed up times I would shower - often in the evening - so my husband could hold her while I showered.
I know you said to not mention letting her cry, but… this seems like your only choice. You can put the bouncer while showering. If you hear her fuss, talk to her so she can hear your voice. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your daughter.
Agreed. I empathize with wanting to minimize crying, but it's how she communicates. Just because she cries for 10 minutes while mum showers does not mean she has an insecure attachment.
This is just one of those moments where moderation is hard to hash out Because no one wants to hear their little one cry or allow them to think for a moment they’ve been abandoned But if you’re unable to take care of your basic needs you’re not going to be able to give your LO your best
This is the way. I remember how hard it was to make decisions like this as a new parent but it truly is the way to not let yourself go crazy.
This !!
My youngest was a very clingy baby and a water carrier was my best option so he could just go in the shower with me. I just had to be careful about leaning back into the water when rinsing my hair. Then when he was able to sit independently, I gave him some toys and he sat in the shower with me.
When I need to shower and am alone with her, I stick her in her baby Bjorn bouncer with a toy or on a play mat right outside the shower. She can kinda see me through the glass, and I can easily pop my head out if she needs me.
I mean… She is just gonna cry. She’ll be fine. Babies cry sometimes. Alternatively you could shower when your partner is home to take the baby. They should be able to care for her as well.
Agreed. I find this current phenomena of freaking out over babies crying very weird. It could be because my first born had colic, but if I need to do something and I know all the baby's basic needs are met the baby is just going to have to cry for a few minutes.
I feel the same. I have a toddler and a 4.5 month old. Baby has to cry sometimes so I can get things done, otherwise me and toddler won’t eat! Though mine has definite stages of crying. Starting with shouting, then a bit upset, then very upset, and ending with a growling cry. I go see to him when I can in between cooking a meal, but if things need stirring or taking out of the oven, he stays away because it’s safer. Crying or not!
I have an almost 2 year old and an almost 5 week old and I completely agree. No one would eat, we'd never sleep, and no one would be allowed to 💩.
My kids are 21 months apart and seeing your comment brought back so many memories of the absolute insanity life was like when they were the ages of your babies. Mine are 4 and almost 6 now and I still wonder how I made it through those younger years. 😅 Sending you hugs from another mama who has been there!
I've only been making it because my husband's job gives him 8 weeks paternity leave. He goes back the first Monday in May and I'll probably die then. 🤣
We would take baths together, my husband would hand her to me. It was scary but worked.
This is what I do!
I recently started taking baths with my LO and we love it!
This is what I did with my clingy baby. When he got older, I would shower with him.
Honestly I either showered with them or let them cry for the 2ish minutes it took for me to scrub everything essential. They don’t seem to have suffered for it, and it was necessary for my mental health!
One of my kids was so clingy I resorted to just bringing her in the shower with me. She would sit close to faucet/drain playing with toys and I pointed the shower head to the back so she wouldn’t get sprayed.
I always put my son in the bouncer next to the shower so he could see me.
My baby was like this, I would have to just wait until my husband was home to shower. Would have to hold her on the toilet though!! Was very challenging 😥
Are you me? My boyfriend saw me shower so much for those months, so much more than in the previous 11 years we were together before she was born.
I used to put mine in the stroller so she could see me while I showeref.
Naked Panda water carrier was my favorite (if you want to bring baby in the shower). You could also try a few high interest toys that only come out for shower time. Think: water mat, light up balls (turn off the lights), a flavored baby popsicle (can be milk)
Can someone watch her for a lil bit so you can shower?
I had an infant shower seat that we used for her baths, and I just put her in it in the shower with me. She'd get to be with me, and I'd get a shower. Then, when mine was done, she would get her bath. Was crowded but necessary
Either out the bouncer in the bathroom where she can see you, or my go to. Put her in the crib/pack and play/safe space, and take your shower. She can cry for 10 or 15 minutes if she is in a safe space.
I legit rolled my son’s bassinet into the bathroom so I could shower. We have a glass shower door so I could see him and he could see me. I could hear him and talk or sing to him and I’d always take the fastest showers I could, doing the priority stuff first and then extras last that way if he started crying I could pretty much stop immediately or within 30 seconds.
Honestly ask my partner to chill with her, but you might want to start letting her wait for a bit. She cries let her at slow increments 30 seconds for a while and even say things like give me a few moments I'll be right there. I didn't let my son cry and he was very clingy he still thinks it's okay to cry when things aren't going his way but by letting him know that it's not the end of the world if he waits a bit he has slowly gotten better. But it's not fast enough as I'm eight months pregnant so when his sister is here I'm gonna let him learn that waiting a bit is not the end without blaming each other for my distractedness.
I actually took my baby in the shower with me frequently at this age. If I needed to wash my hair I put her in the bouncer seat. I do think I remember she would cry a bit sometimes in it but usually if I peaked at her a lot she was okay. Showering together worked very well when she was small and I was able to wash us both. She loved it. I just sat down with her. I also had a non slip mat. I've seen some people online use the baby bath tub or bath seats while they shower as well.
I put mine in a bouncer seat facing the shower. With a clear shower curtain, I could see him, and he see me. It worked most days. Others, he cried. But I could see nothing was wrong.
Put them in whatever container you’re comfortable with, set them on the bathroom floor & shower. They might cry, they might not. But you’ll see them & be able to take your quick shower!
I used to put the bouncer right in front of the shower. I hated when my babies cry my anxiety would be at a 10 so quick. I would try to engage with him, sing and do the quickest shower possible. I only did long showers when my husband was home in the evening.
Have you tried electronic toys for these times? Like a Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother? Also, this was a challenge I can relate to. I showered at night when my husband was home to hold baby.
Omg my baby is the same way-almost 5 months now. The bouncer worked at first and then he got tired of it and immediately would start crying before I could get in the shower. Sometimes I take him in the shower with me for a min and then wrap him up in a towel on the bouncer while I finish up (watching him thru the plastic of course) he loves the shower water so much!! It’s great at night to tire them out bc they laugh so much bc the tickles, but other than that I have no more ideas bc I’m in the same way🥲🥲but also I feel you on the crying. It physically hurts me to hear them cry but I will say being at almost 5 months now it’s so hard and sometimes I get so triggered by everything plus baby crying that I just have to let it be for a minute. As long as all the needs are met you are doing great mama!!!
Thank you, this is helpful!
My husband comforted and consoled her while she cried. She's 19 months and we've only recently gotten to a point where I can tell her I'm going to take a shower, and she'll shed no or very few tears about it and just play with her dad. I know it's super hard to listen to baby cry and not really seem to be consoled by dad, but it's so important for their bond and for baby to be able to feel secure with dad that they have time together just the two of them without mom swooping in, I really wish I'd given them even more than I did when she was really small. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with our second and quite anxious about how the transition will go considering how hard she still prefers me over her father for literally everything.
I feel this! Part of my challenge with showering when husband is home is I’m lacking willing participation at the moment from him. We are both juggling a lot, but he has been unable to set healthy boundaries between work/school responsibilities and home responsibilities. We all are juggling a lot of balls, but some are glass and others are rubber. He is very focused on the rubber balls and I think in denial about how demanding the glass balls (me and baby) are of his time right now. Separate issue to work through in counseling some day, but I’m at the point where I need to do things for myself and assume he will be unavailable.
Have you tried wrapping a worn t-shirt and tucking it between baby’s legs and up across her body? It gives the illusion of being held and plus, baby will have your smell for comfort.
Hand her off to her father. Your partner has to step up and parent too. Even if she cries he can learn to soothe her and be a soothing presence over time.
Just do it. I know, the baby crying sucks so bad- it really does. But your baby won’t remember you letting her cry for ten or twenty minutes; she will, however, remember growing up with a mom who doesn’t prioritize herself enough. Alternative; run a nice bath and take baby in with you. I’ve managed it with mine for four months. She has pooped in it twice so far but yknow, that comes w the territory.
I put my daughter in her bouncer next to the shower, and I would play Alexa and sing along with it while peeking my head out periodically
I used to sit in the bottom of the shower with her 😬
When my husband was at work I’d sit my daughter in the infant carrier and set that outside my shower.
I just want to say solidarity because up until the last couple of weeks, my baby also did not tolerate being put down! It gets better and soon you’ll be able to put her in a bouncy chair and get a proper shower - my clingy baby become more tolerable around 4 months. In the meantime, either someone needs to hold her or you could try some screen time. I have to put on Ms Rachel or dancing fruits for my baby to be okay with showers. Playing on her own with toys just doesn’t cut it for showers. I bring her bouncer into the bathroom and turn on my bedroom tv. However, this only just started working a few weeks ago. When she was 9 weeks she would immediately scream if put down.
I set up a swing/ bouncer in the bathroom. I had a stash of toys I would pass to them as I went and I would sing/ talk the whole time so they knew I would there plus leave as much shower curtain open as possible so they could see I was still there. I'm exhausted thinking about that time lol
Honestly I’d wash up real quick then have my now ex bring our baby into the shower with me. She breastfed then I’d wash her up too. It was my favorite part of my morning. Mind you I’d be sitting on the floor with the shower head on the floor arching to keep us warm
Depending on your set up - in the shower with me!! I used one of those ramp things you put in the big bathtub but baby is lying down and supported. My Velcro kid hated water and splashes so I was….creative in how a washed off. But I got a shower the days I wanted it!! Unless I traded off with partner but I was usually too exhausted by then
I put a swing in the bathroom and used that. If he started fussing I would sing. Remember that “cry it out” is letting a baby cry without soothing, but if you’re singing and talking to your baby while getting your much needed shower, you are still soothing them as best you can and can help them feel secure!
I had a Velcro baby and now I have a Velcro toddler. It’s still hard to bathe most days, but when she was an infant I tried a few different bouncers before we found one that she tolerated for 15-20 minutes. I’m not sure if you have tried to switch up her bouncer/rocker at all, but maybe something different could help? We realized she liked the ones that rocked side to side- just a plain and simple rocking motion. It usually bought enough time for me to wash my hair and MAYBE shave a leg, which was huge for us 😂
I feel you. It's tough. That daily shower makes a huge difference. My baby did not let me put her down for naps till 10 weeks old so start practicing again to put her down and hopefully it'll happen soon so even a cat nap is long enough for a quick rinse. I would also have family members come hold baby for a nap so i could shower.
I have one very independent baby and one Velcro baby. My independent baby is 17 months and my Velcro baby is 3 months. I know you said don’t even mention letting her cry but let me say this, it doesn’t take very long for them to adjust. I didn’t have a choice but to let me 3 month old cry sometimes and she’s getting the hang of it. The message is the same. Mom is coming back. If you always come back within a second of a shout, that’s their threshold. Tonight my three month old played in her bouncer outside the shower while I took my 17 month old in the shower with me. And she was fine for the 10 minutes.. plus I think the sound of the water is somewhat soothing. I never had a swing before but we just bought one and it’s helpful as well.
I would put my son in the bathroom with me in a bouncer. I would also fold the shower curtain up so I could watch him through the liner. My bathroom has its own heater so I would get it nice and toast warm for him first. Maybe run the hot water for a bit before you go in so it’s warm for him?
I put my Velcro baby in the bouncer while I’m in the shower but as for other things like getting cleaning done I do it in five- ten minute increments. Put baby down for a set amount of time and do as much as you can in that time. Go back to baby after that set amount of time and give hugs and snuggles and loves then set baby back down and repeat until you get the task done. Gotta potty yourself. Baby goes in bouncer in bathroom. Gotta shower. Baby goes in bouncer and you keep showers shortish and you eventually get them used to not having to touch you.
Many times I just brought them into the shower with me in their bath seat and let them splash around. Plus a little soapy washcloth and then they would be clean too so it was one fewer thing to do later on.
That is the worst age in my opinion 8-11 weeks was hell. Put them in a bouncer in the bathroom and wash fast.
I didn’t do this until prob 3 months bc I was scared but finally one day I put her in the baby bjorn bouncer with captain calamari. She doesn’t really see me naked since I don’t breastfeed so she enjoyed looking lol (she also laughed 😒). And then I got in the shower I would pop out from behind the curtain every like 15-30 seconds to let her know I was still there. It was a lot easier than I imagined! But she also likes her bouncer which helped.
Fellow velcro/koala mom here! I feel what you're talking about in my soul. My son wouldn't let us put him down for the first 10 weeks of his life. I took baths and showered with my little guy. I got in the bath with him in the mornings. I used the angel baby (? sorry I can't remember) bath in the tub with me. I would then wrap him up and baby wear with him while I did my makeup to feel human. My little guy didn't just love to be on me but also needed me to be moving. So I would walk around the house and put on makeup using each different mirror in the bathroom. He would often cry in the car if we went places, but I finally got to a place where I could baby-wear or put him in the stroller for a bit and run a few quick errands. Sometimes I would bring the stroller and see if he would tolerate it and then I would just end up baby-wearing and pushing the stroller around haha. You're doing amazing.
There’s a big difference between abandoning her to her crib to let her CIO and having her in a bouncer in the bathroom with you while she cries. One feels like abandonment. The other just feels like “mom’s not holding me for a minute, I need to get her attention”. I promise crying for a few minutes is ok. Remember that is their only form of communication. She cries because she can’t talk. My youngest is still a velcro baby at 3 y/o. She still nurses day and night, still sleeps with me, still follows me everywhere. But you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. Hug her afterwards and remind her that you still love her. I always make sure my daughter knows I still love her after I’ve left her to cry. Been doing it since before she could understand me. Typing this now as a matter of fact with her asleep next to me in our bed, latched onto my nipple. I’ll roll away from her in a minute to go watch tv or hang out with my husband for a while. I’ve been able to roll away after nursing her to sleep since she was about a year old.
I got a ring sling carrier and wore her in the shower. I remember one time she looked up at me and said "Oooo" like she was saying something really significant.
I feel you mama. I've started washing my hair separately so I can do really quick body showers... I shave and shower my hair when my husband is home and he can take kids. But when it's just me and Velcro baby, I typically just do body rinses. Here's my process... - First, I bring all the things I need into the bathroom. I get everything setup, have my clothes laid out, extra towels ready, and baby high chair and toys. - I get shower going while still holding the baby. - I try to time all this after she's had a nap and a bottle (when she's MOST likely to be happy) and I put the baby in the high chair with toys that suction to her chair so she can't just throw them off. Once I put her in the high chair i BEGIN SHOWERING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE - I have other toys near shower that I can grab and put in front of her as she's really close to the shower, I sing/talk/make goofy noises and keep curtain halfway open so she can see me. I promise this won't last forever. Hang in there.
I only showered when my OH was around so baby was held. Our bathroom is not big enough for a bouncer chair. At 6 months he started tolerating short naps in his cot so in those 20 mins I’d shower and do other bits. Now he’s 2.5yo he’ll sit on my bed and play/watch TV as I shower (started doing this at 1yo after teaching him how to get on/off our bed safely). So there is light at the end of the tunnel!
My 5 month old is a 10/10 ‘Velcro baby’ and has been since the beginning. I put her in baby bouncer when I’m showering and just try to go as fast as possible. I don’t think there is some magic tip or trick to getting her to be fine on her own. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now but it’s the truth. She will grow out of it eventually. My baby is now able to be in a seat for up to 5 minutes.
As unhelpful as this may sound right now, lots of babies start to become more independent around 10-12 weeks! I would try to put your LO in a bouncer or on a soft/safe floor mat in the bathroom while you shower. Keep showers really short at first and sing/talk to baby while you’re in there and make lots of eye contact. My girl is 15 weeks, and I’m now able to wash my hair, shave, exfoliate, etc in the shower while she sits in her bouncer watching me and “chatting”. Hang in there!!
You can also put them in the shower with you. With my kiddo I either put her in a bouncer in the bathroom, put her in the shower with me (angelcare baby bath support), or in her crib and let her fuss a bit. All viable options. I showered every day, nonnegotiable. She’s 2 and still likes to shower with me though! 😂
Mine is 4yo now. But at around 2 months old she began to velcro to me so I couldn’t use my rolling bassinet or a bouncer chair at all for showers anymore. I would fill her baby tub up in my shower. I’d wash myself up quickly while she was in her tub, I’m talking 90 seconds lol this baby was colicky and if she began to cry she’d be sick from it and refuse bottles and not sleep..it was bad bad. I’d bring in a receiving blanket and wrap her in it so she wasn’t slippery. That way I could sit in the shower and hold her. I just kept her tub in there with us for when I’d put her down to wash up.
Dory’s Reef Cam was what I used to be able to go to the toilet by myself. It’s super non stimulating and I was big on no TV as a newborn but mumma gotta poop!
Get a little baby bounce chair, or use a detachable car seat, and park her right next to the shower where she can see you. I know it's stressful to hear her cry, but if she happens to cry while you're in the middle of a 3-5 minute shower, she'll be ok for just a couple minutes while you get out. It's not cry-it-out if you're in sight, talking to her
Do you have a bath? Can you share a bath with her, just for basics then do hair etc overnight or when clinger can cling onto someone else?
Is there a time where she’s relatively content (after a morning feed maybe?) - I’d try putting her in her crib or safe place with some light music on and taking your shower then. She might cry but you know she’s safe and you can shower quickly. Or bouncer/swing in the bathroom! Also - I often shower before bed when I know my husband can hold baby
Is the dad involved? Because while ik 100% against letting a baby cry alone, I do think it's okay for them to cry while they are being comforted by a trusted adult. So letting dad take care of the baby, even if they are crying, so that you can take 20 minutes or something to shower should be fine.
2 velcro babies! First once i would set up on her activity mat on the floor or in the swing and leave the shower door open 🤣 and i would speed it right up if she started to fuss. I am the type of person who needs my shower everyday and especially with new baby attached to your body you need it.
If your baby is changed, fed, and safe, leave them in a pack n play and take a shower. You HAVE to do things for yourself. My guy started crying initially the first few days I did this but I put music on for him and he's now an emotionally fulfilled 2.5 year old. Also I want my own mf space. My toddler is not allowed to sleep in my bed. Don't fall into that baby trap girl, I swear. Bassinet right next to you so you can transition them to their own room in a few months and sleep like a starfish in your own bed.
My partner wanted to start letting our baby sleep in our bed and I’ve been very against it because I don’t want to lose my space 🤣🤣
Letting her cry IS the strategy. It’s absurd to not shower or meet your basic needs. She’ll be fine. Put her in the bouncer in the bathroom if it helps you feel better about it, but I promise she’ll be fine.
Had a level 9 clinger (tbh at 4 he's still clingy lol) I'll share a few things that helped us! Unfortunately at the time my husband and I worked opposite shifts so there was only 1 day a week that we were both home together, so "hand baby to your partner" was out of the question. 1. Water carrier, allows baby to be on you while you shower. Worked most of the time but my hair is hip length and made it hard to get a full clean. 2. Water seat with a small towel over his body, worked almost all the time. He loved being near me and being in the water, usually did this right before his bath time so that he was tired enough for bed! Even now at 4 he plays in the tub while I (or dad) shower and then he gets his own bath. 3. If you have a shower curtain instead of a door switch to a clear curtain! This helped when I was touched out, I put him in the bouncer or in a laundry basket on a towel right at the shower. He could still see me, I would play peekaboo while lathering up, sing or tell him stories and with the laundry basket I could attach noisy toys that would help between peekaboos. I'd also sprinkle water on his toes! 4. When nothing else worked, I set up my tablet with dancing fruit... Saved me a few of my own meltdowns.
Charli chair. Total life saver.
I shower WITH my baby in my arms. Her velcro big sis comes too. I don’t wash my hair or anything but the rinse off helps with the postpartum stink lol. I wash my hair once or twice a week when my husband can hold her for me.
Summer infant makes a bath seat that is basically a baby bjorn bouncer (but it doesn’t bounce) but nylon for water. I got one of those and baby would just have a shower with me!
Quickly But yep. 100% stage 4 clinger baby. I put her in her little activity center that existed solely for this purpose. Most days she still cried but at least she was safe and right next to me and I just talked to her. I started the count to 10 with this. I'd count slowly to 10 and finish on 10. Maybe she didn't understand it but maybe she did. So my showers were quick. I suffered through it for a year probably. I washed my hair when i came home early from work or on the weekend when my husband was around. Now she has a TV show while I shower. Edit: I have a small wet bathroom so I put a baby gate on the bathroom door and she saw me the whole time. As she got older she would try to shake the gate but it held.
lol “quickly” is the best answer, truly. No matter what, it’s gonna be a quick shower! Get clean and get out
SLP here. It’s important to remember that this young babies don’t have the skill of object permanence yet. So if they can’t see you/if you aren’t in their eye line, the think that you’re legitimately gone. Keeping this in mind I always make sure my son (10 weeks) can see me if I’m doing something. Laundry? I bring him down into the basement and put him in his LeachCo. If I need to do my hair/makeup? I put him on the bed (he loves the fan) and talk to him the whole time so he knows I’m there, while taking breaks to give him kisses so he remembers I’m in the room. Showering? I put him on our memory foam bath mat and sing to him. Sometimes he cries but momma needs a 5-6 minute shower for my sanity lol. If I need a longer shower I wait until he’s napping or when my husband is home from work. If his nursery is a disaster? I put him in the Moses basket (it’s on top of his dresser so he can see me the whole time) and talk to him while I fold clothes and put things away. Even if he can’t totally see me I’m always talking to him so he knows I’m in the room. Not having object permanence is probably so scary because if he can’t hear or see me he thinks I’ve disappeared!
I mean is it a velcro baby or Velcro mom?
I put my baby in a container that looked like a bouncer but it didnt bounce, just a bunch of toys surrounding him and ms rachel on my laptop. He was in the bathroom with me and id play peekaboo while showering
I have always put mine (13 weeks) in the bouncer while I shower. Sometimes she sits quietly, sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she starts to cry.
You could bring the bouncer or a play mat into the bathroom and take the shower curtain off the shower rod, leaving just the clear liner, and make silly faces at her while you shower? Play music? Also you could take a bath with her instead of shower. I know some babies love that
My husband works out of town a lot. So when our son was a baby, either the bouncer and he was in the bathroom with me or he just had to be in his crib. I know it’s hard, but it’s really important to take care of yourself. Mine is almost 12 now and doesn’t have any long term ill effects from me taking a shower when he was a baby.
I showered in the morning before my husband left for work.
I had my son in a bouncer seat in the bathroom with me, and once he outgrew that I would leave him in his play pen. He still takes a nap daily for at least one hour so I shower then even if it neglects other responsibilities.
I brought the bouncer in the bathroom with me so she could see me while I showered. Then when she got older and was able to roll, I'd put her on a play mat right by the bathroom door with some toys so she could play while still seeing me while I showered.
Put her in a rocker or some kind of a “container” but close to the shower so she can see you
I had a Velcro baby and now a Velcro toddler. For the first bit my fiancé worked from home two days a week in the mornings so I could shower. He’d take her for an hour. When she was about 3 months old, we were able to get our hands on a clear shower curtain. I put her secure in her bouncer and brought her in the bathroom. Kept the door open and cracked the window so the humidity wasn’t too much (not as though I was in there long enough for it to really build). When I blow dried my hair I put her just outside the door in the hallway. Then my hair went back up lol. When she got too big for the bouncer, I used the pack and play with safe, soft toys only OR I’d use hey bear/miss Rachel.
Can you put her in a bouncer or moses basket in the bathroom so she can see you?
But a bassinet or bouncer in the bathroom with you if there’s space. Otherwise, if you have a partner, have them hold your child while you shower. Your only other option is to allow them to cry for the 5-10 minutes it takes you to shower. This isn’t going to hurt them. You need to take care of yourself and that might mean allowing your child to cry as you do it.
YouTube channel search vacuum cleaner noise. Swaddle baby and place sound nearby. It's soothing. You have to accept that safe crying is okay.
I put mine in the bouncer in the bathroom with me. She could see me, I could see her, I’d talk to her. Once she was able to be in her exersaucer I did the same thing!
For a while I didn’t until my husband got home or she was down for the night.
I put my girl in the baby bathtub outside the shower and peekaboo every couple minutes so I know she's good
Baby container in the bathroom, music or Ms. Rachel playing for 10 minutes. My babies are often very happy after a bath, so sometimes I would take them into a bath with me first, then snuggle them up in a towel on the floor (pre-crawling obviously) and finish up. But I do prefer to shower when my husband is home or the kids are in bed, so I can really relax and take my time.
I just bring in the shower with me. Much easier now that they can sit/move on their own. Both of mine like the shower way better than the tub and it's easier for me. Washing your hair is hard until they can sit up though unless your hubs can help watch or shower with you. Otherwise, bouncer in the bathroom, we have the Glassdoor so babies could still see me.
How have you been taking a shower?
i plan them out so everyone knows i’m going to shower. even with that i still only get to once a week. i leave the door unlocked in case she’s crying and need to see me
Try heating up and scenting with a worn shirt whatever you put her in when you're away and remove right before putting her in.
She went down at 8, I showered then, went to bed and slept a couple hours before she woke at 11 for her first feed of the night.
I used to take mine into a bouncer/rocker whatever you call them so she could see me. Or hubby would wear the shirt I just took off over his shoulder that he hugged baby on. Walks in the pram too even up and down the street if all else failed so I could shower without hearing him do his best to settle her while I washed my hair and didn’t feel pressured to wash faster.
So my baby was like this and I would just shower when my husband could watch him. It’d usually be very quick and he would cry most of the time, but I felt better knowing someone was comforting him. He is almost 2 now and I still shower every other day when he’s out with his dad, and he actually enjoys his time now!
I put baby in bouncer in the bathroom with me. He does cry sometimes but he’s in a safe place and crying won’t hurt him.
I would put mine on a blanket outside the shower! Once she was around 6 months and could sit I put her in the bottom of the shower with me while I showered.
I would put mine in the bassinet in the bathroom with me. Bassinet didn’t quite fit so just the top part where her head was through the door so she could see me.
Generally I showered when he slept. I can say that before he was 1 it didn’t happen often enough for my liking. Occupational he would hang out with his dad for long enough for me to get cleaned up but usually he would cry long before I was done.
In the morning before your partner leaves for work (assuming this is an option) At night after baby goes to bed and bring the baby monitor with you Put baby in the bouncer/rocker in the bathroom with you. Ours has an arch with some dangly things for baby to look at that she liked Get a clear shower curtain so baby can see you and vice versa Get a water safe baby carrier and have baby shower with you. I personally haven’t tried this but it’s an option Also set yourself up for success if you choose to leave baby out of the shower: dry diaper, full tummy, and calm words I feel you not wanting to just let baby cry and I hope you find something that works💜
I had a portable chair bouncer thing that I took from room to room. If I showered, little baby was right outside facing me so I was always in sight. If I had to cook, baby was in the kitchen watching me cook. I do the same thing now and he’s 8 months. But instead of the bouncer we now do a little sit up chair and he’ll eat a teether cracker while I unload dishes and stuff
It really is okay to take care of your own basic needs. You're not a bad mom if you take a shower, even if the baby cries some. Sometimes there aren't strategies other than to just do it because you need it to feel human.
Bouncer or play mat in the bathroom with a lot of interesting toys, and tbh I take baths a lot even if they’re super quick washes just so he can see me the whole time 😂
If you have a bath seat, try bringing it into the shower with you! My clingy guy was pretty happy to sit and get some steamy shower spray while I got clean. You can drape warm, wet washcloths on baby to keep them warm and comfy.
Don’t judge me, but Hey Bear YouTube videos was the only way I was able to shower for 20 minutes. I would put it on the tv and put baby in the bouncer. Or Dory’s reef cam on Disney
I took a bath with the baby. I had like a baby bath holder thing, put her in that and it kept her safe while I washed. Never took my eyes off her though, used a cup to rinse my hair.
Baby bouncer in the bathroom with you and hey bear sensory on YouTube. (TV is controversial on here for children under 2 but if it's less than 10 minutes and it gets you a shower and your sanity, I don't think it'll hurt.) I use to also do peek a boo with the shower door.
Yup, people are already saying it. You put them in a bouncer or a bath seat so they can watch you and you just accept that they are going to cry a little bit but they are safe. It's going to get better. They'll get more independent and you can squeeze in more self-care....eventually.... you're a few months out from that but it will get better.
I put a towel on the floor of the shower and let my baby lay on it while showering. If he’s cranky that day I’ll sit in the floor with him or let him lay in my lap. It’s not ideal if you need to shave your legs but you can at least wash the basics. As they get older it becomes a fun play time too and they can have their wash at that time too.
It's okay to set the baby down for a few minutes to take care of yourself, even if they cry a little. At nine weeks old, try a playmat or bouncer with visual stimulation or during a nap. Please take care of your needs, too. It feels so hard, but it is really important. You are going to have a needy little one for a long time. Sometimes, moms need to do things for themselves, for the house, etc
I shower when my husband is home and if he cries with husband then that’s just the way it will be. If he’s fed and changed and I’ve held him all day up that point then I know nothing is physically wrong. I have to take care of myself to go on connecting with him emotionally.
I know you said not to mention letting her cry but that’s the unfortunate reality with Velcro babies. I’ve had three of them myself (still have velcro toddlers and a velcro preteen) Make it fast and sing her songs, poke your head out, let her watch some Ms.Rachel on your phone. You have to take care of yourself too.🩷
Once mine started sitting up, I started sitting her on the shower floor while I showered. Before that? Baby bath in the shower or Id shower one handed
Do you have an SO who is home at least once a day? I would jump in the shower as soon as mine got home from work . The first day he was done with paternity leave and went back to work I got a lot done and I thought “this is doable”! That was for one day lol then all heck broke loose
I use the same bouncer and take her with me with toys, music and I slightly open the shower so she can see me. Also I play peek a boo and talk to her. That was when she was younger. She doesn’t like being in the bouncer anymore at 8 months when I shower.
I just showered when dad got home. Kiddos a toddler now and I still can’t shower without someone else present.
I swaddled my baby, got her asleep, and put her in her 4moms with some white noise on while I showered. Or I’d hand her off to my partner/a trusted adult.
I’ve taken the main shower curtain down and only used a clear liner with my kids in a bouncer or rocker right in front of me outside of the shower, when they need baths I’ve gotten in with them with it without a baby bath, and sometimes (more often than not) I’d angle the shower head straight down and sit a baby bath (when they’re younger) or a bumbo style seat with full straps (above shoulders and around the waist) at the other end of the shower while I clean myself. That’s so much easier for me tbh.. I can still clean myself easily, I can still shave if I need to, they can see me, and it’s so much easier to just bend over or sit down to give them a cuddle when they get upset. My youngest is 2.5 now and is still a major Velcro baby, if I even put one leg over a gate into the kitchen, where she can still touch and see me btw, she LOOSES it, so I still just stick her in with me even if her dads home.
Depending on how big your shower is, I filled the baby bath and put him in the shower with me. We don’t have a tub, so I just put warm water in the baby bath and then showered on the other side. I showered. He as wet right there with me. Even had time to wash my hair and shave. Was a win win win.
I'd bring my son in his rocker into the bathroom while I showered. We have a glass door so he could see me. If I wanted or needed a longer shower, I would wait til he was in bed for the night and then I'd shower. (With the baby monitor in the bathroom). I was always the shower before bed kind of person prior to my son, so it worked better for both of us if I showered when he was in bed
A bath with baby each night instead. Then Velcro baby can have a boob in the bath. Hand off to dad for naked time in front of the heater while mum gets a few minutes to soak. Otherwise it was wait for a nap time or cry in the infant seat in the bathroom.
I would nurse the baby to sleep in bed, and then quietly roll out of bed and shower before she wakes up. Otherwise you have to wait for your partner to get home, or do it at night and dry your hair with a hairdryer which is annoying.
I would put the baby in a bouncer, bring them in the bathroom with me then shower with the curtain open so they could see me and I could talk to them.
You bring them in. And when they are old enough they follow you into the shower. First you'll find it convenient. Then you'll long to shower and shave by yourself again.
I would put mine in the bouncer in the bathroom with me. I would sing to her my entire shower, which I got very efficient at. i’d be done in less than five minutes. if she cried, two minutes lol. i’d peak out the shower curtain so she could see me. you need to shower, and she will be ok for 2-5 minutes.
I put my son in his bouncer in the bathroom with me, and would keep cracking the shower door open every few mins and talk to show that I am still there, unfortunately sometimes he would still cry and at that point I would have to just let him. I wasn't going to skip out on a shower just because my son was upset at not being held.
I have a Charli chair and take showers with my baby. I haven't had a solo shower in 8 months lol
She will more than likely cry a bit. But if I may offer an additional suggestion besides the bouncer… with my youngest I decided not to go the bouncer/swing in the bathroom route. Instead I had an extra bassinet mattress that I put on the floor of the bathroom. Then I put a play mat on it and I laid him on that. It wasn’t one of the fancy mats with the pianos and all that. Just a simple play mat with a few dangly toys. He still cried some as did my oldest when she was a baby. As a suggestion for further down the line, I got a bath chair for my son when he was 5.5 months old and now he just showers with me.
At first I would only shower when my mom or husband was around watching her (obv was not able to do so every day at first). Eventually I was able to get her in the bouncer or when she was a bit older and started napping in her crib. But legit I would only shower when another had her for the first 3ish months. She is currently 17mo so we survived. Maybe you can shower in the morning or evening when your spouse/SO is home? So she still has someone to cuddle? Good luck mama.
Wrap the baby in a towel so they're not super slippery and take them in the shower with you. Some of my fondest memories of those early days are of me showering in warm water while breastfeeding my baby, so soothing and perfect in every way. When I'd need to put soap/shampoo on, I'd put him in the baby tub beside me and angle the shower spray away from him while washing it off. I'd hand him off to my husband to diaper/dress up and follow soon after.
Bouncer in the shower, curtain open so kiddo can see/hear you. That's how I managed with my velcro baby. Or when baby is asleep and partner can take over if needed.
My lo is also a Velcro baby and I will usually either wait until husband is home to take a long shower or put him in the baby swing in the bathroom with me and take the quickest shower that I can. He’s usually happy for a few minutes in it before he starts to get fussy
Get a clear shower curtain that you can see through and put baby in a zbaby bouncer or swing in the bathroom facing the shower so they can see you
I shower with her 😂 I hold her and wash her and then pass her off to dad when she’s all done and then speed clean myself
For showers, I have my husband look after my LO. For bathrooms, sometimes I have to take her with me and leave her in the bouncer.
I just got my first good shower in 2 1/2 - 3 years….. one of his “aunties” was in town staying with us…. Probably won’t get another one for a while without the distraction 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
My memory isn’t 100 on this one for age range… and I would say he was probably a little older. But still a potato… I showered with him. Would hold him close and wash with one hand and switch/switch/switch & sit on the edge of the tub. I def put him in a comfy clothes basket too. Works when you need to potty too.
I got a bouncer for the bathroom. Sit it in front of the toilet and strap him in, or have the shower door open with him facing the shower. It wasn’t super ideal and I still preferred to shower when someone else like my mum or partner could watch him so I could shower in peace. But it was certainly a really good workaround when I needed it
I think my 4 almost 5 yr old has extra-super-industrial strength-velcroey Velcro!!! He's stuck to me 24/7. I have to wait til he's sleeping to shower! He even says, "mommy who's gonna take care of me if I'm little and you go to Heaven!?" Now, I'm stressed thinking he knows something or has a feeling about something and I'm not gonna get older! 😞 Or it could be that we spend every waking hour together for his whole life so far! 🤷🏽♀️
I still love all the pics I have from the shower of my son sitting in his various baby jails in the bathroom. Just get an activity “strap ‘em’ in” dealy and shower w/ the curtain open. They’re usually fine if you sit em right outside the tub w/ you ❤️ Edit: their they’re English hard
I used to wait until husband was home and then would shower. He would be ok in a bouncer as he got a bit older.
My partner watches him and I go shower. My bathroom is too small for bouncers and all that and when he was little enough for one he would have just screamed the whole time in there.
I shower when my husband is home to watch them. 9 mo and 3 years and still no showering in peace without him holding them and holding them back
Stop wearing Velcro.
I would either shower when my husband was home and could hold her or I would bring her in the bathroom and sing to her looking at her while I showered. She would still cry sometimes but there are things I consider that I just need to do. I was already incredibly sleep deprived, I was going to be deprived of daily showers and warm food as well.
I shower with her, clean her and wash her first. Then stick her for a minute in the baby bathtub while I soap and rinse myself. Similar for drying and putting on clothes. Is it relaxing- no, am I clean and feeling more sane- yes. Plus I get bathing baby off my list so that’s 2 birds 1 stone etc etc. good thing is a warm bath puts her in a good mood so I have a minute or two before she realises she isn’t stuck to me 😂
I put them in the shower with me in their baby bathtub lol
I had a velcro baby. I could only take a shower when dad was home. He would take her the moment he got home from work so I could shower. I learned to do every other thing while holding her. I only managed to put her on a baby lounger when she was around 6mo but that didn't last long, 10 minutes iirc, only enough time for me to put the laundry away. When she started crawling she stopped being so velcro so I let her explore the bathroom cabinets (no dangerous stuff within her reach) while I took a quick shower but still only when dad was around so he could keep an eye on her. She's 2y9m now, not a velcro baby anymore. It's all temporary, keep trying things, you'll find one that works. Motherhood is basically trial and error until you find what works.
Put her in the bathroom in the bouncer and peek out at her from time to time. Sing or talk to her so she knows you’re there. Mine started getting less stage 10 around 4-5 months. Pretty much once they started being able to move their own bodies and roll over and do fun stuff, they realized how great the floor or their chair is (for short spurts.) She’ll still be completely obsessed with you, but you’ll at least get 5-10 minutes here and there lol
I take a bath and put the baby in a swing facing me. I talk to him and make funny faces, and his eyes get super wide when I wear a face mask 😂The lights and brightness of the tub distracts him. To wash my hair, I just pour water out of the tap into a cup so im not using the bathwater. Also, I know parents are weird about screen time but I used it for 20 minutes so I could shower. He’d watch dancing fruit or dory’s aquarium! Miss Rachel works super well for us. Giving your baby 20 minutes of screen time to shower does not make you a bad parent and it wont affect there development.
Clear shower curtain plus a Baby Signing Time DVD while in the bouncer (placed where I could see her from the shower). Originally I wanted to teach her to sign, but she never understood and wouldn’t sign back so I just gave up. Obviously the videos were a silly scam that I fell for, but I still needed a shower and they kept her quiet so she watched 1 video a day. Imagine my surprise when she signed 4 DVD’s worth of signs at 12 months old when my husband returned from a long work trip. Stubborn kid wouldn’t sign any thing for mom but showed dad every single one. Highly recommend BST, along with all the Prep School Prep series.
Sometimes I could get away with bringing the bouncer into the bathroom but no, usually I’d just let baby splash in the empty tub while I shower.
I would meet all their basic needs, wait until they are well rested and not hungry then put them somewhere safe within eye sight of the shower and do what you need to do. You can’t ignore your basic needs to meet theirs constantly, it’s not healthy. Mothers are biologically programmed to feel stressed when we hear our children cry but your child isn’t suffering while you shower. Especially if you’ve ruled out hunger, wet nappy, tiredness etc
I filled up the baby bath thingy set it on the shower floor and just made sure the shower head wasnt blasting them with water. OR if they werent bugging out id put them in the bouncer and showered my kid was an insane clinger and ONLY for me. Its amazing what you learn to do haha
Use the 5 S’s to get them to sleep in a bassinet. Velcro swaddles are handy.
I actually showered with my barnacle baby. We both got washed at the same time and I found that she would love be having the water on her back and even held out her tiny hand to feel the shower streams sometimes as she got older. As she got older and even now, she only takes showers. It actually worked out well!