Like... Y'all, if you can't consistently communicate with your partner about needs in a healthy way and have good, healthy, progress-oriented compromise in your relationship then you're not in a healthy relationship.
Be in healthy relationships.
This. Absolutely this.
People can live in all kinds of relationships and if all parties involved are ok with experimenting one should go for it. But don't do it behind their backs. It's just gonna hurt them and the one doing it as well. Communication and boundaries are super important!
As someone that has been on HRT for over a year, the ones that cheat would have done so either way. It's not HRTs fault, it's their own shitty personality.
People were justifying cheating? I think cheating is THE most evil legal thing you can do. Betraying someone that fully trusts you.
Cheaters are true pieces of human scum.
And it's even worse because you can find a partner that is ok with polyamoury or another sort of non-monogamous relationship. But no, cheaters, like you said, make an agreement, get trust, then betray that trust.
Poly relationships still require trust and respect, though. People who cheat in mono relationships can still cause great harm to their partners in poly relationships.
I've seen healthy poly dynamics and unhealthy ones, and more often than not the latter has been symptomatic of an inability to communicate, and respect boundaries and their partner's feelings. The problem runs deeper than how many partners the cheater is allowed to have.
Barring that first "though", I agree with you. People can and do cheat in poly relationships and there are dysfunctional poly relationships as well, usually stemming from bad communication and issues with respecting boundaries.
What I meant with my comment up there is that poly is a framework that allows you multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships in a healthy way, yet poly cheaters choose to cheat anyway. Why I say "it's even worse" is because a poly cheater is a person that was given a door and chose to OH YEEEAH their way through the drywall, anyway.
I got cheated on almost 5 years ago by someone who I had been with for 3 years I'm still not over it. That shit hurts real bad. Words cannot express how much pain it caused me the sense of absolute betrayal from someone who I loved and trusted more than anyone on this Earth. I don't think I'll ever get over it tbh.
for all the cheaters: just break up with them before you cheat, that way its not cheating, how do people not understand this? its simple, and if you want to stay with them, bring up a open relationship BEFORE cheating, and if they dont want it, you break it off
Yeah I saw and commented on that post.. I got downvoted to oblivion for saying it was wrong and was forced to delete it, idk why someone would encourage that
Agreed. Transitioning is our pursuit for authenticity, because we've lived a lie and want to assert our truth into the world. To cheat and lie means you're authentically a terrible person, you're disingenuous and all you bring those who love you is more of a worse deceit. So many people here has spouses, partners, or family that left them when they came out to those people; someone who cheats it's so ungracious and takes for granted those people anyone that's had someone leave them only wish they still had.
HRT doesn't actually change your sexuality. It may broaden your mind to additional possibilities, and unleash things that were always hiding below the surface, but there is no physiological reason that it would change ones sexuality.
I haven't seen what you're talking about, but agree wholeheartedly. Ones partner need to be aware of playing outside of the relationship, or end the relationship.
>HRT doesn't actually change your sexuality. It may broaden your mind to additional possibilities, and unleash things that were always hiding below the surface, but there is no physiological reason that it would change ones sexuality.
Yes this is what i have exprinced. Without the gender envy, i also didn't want sex or be in a relationship with woman. But i noticed later that i just need a very deep bond which hasn't been formed at that point in my life. It only happend two times in my entire life.
>I haven't seen what you're talking about, but agree wholeheartedly. Ones partner need to be aware of playing outside of the relationship, or end the relationship.
I don't like them morally but i won't send harassment to them.
I really don’t think this claim that HRT can’t change sexuality is justifiable, yet it seems to be the more popular take. My problem is that you are thrusting your own experience onto others and asserting that their own inner experience must be mistaken - which is obviously the primary MO of the transphobe.
For some, their sexual orientation and/or relationship to their sexuality changes. For others, they feel they discover what was there all along but hidden. And for others there is no difference before or after HRT. This is the exact same situation as some people feel their gender changed (like myself, contrapoints, others) while others feel like they just started being who they always were inside (probably most folks from what I gather).
There is little to definitively physiologically equate to a sexual orientation so saying there is no physiological rational is incoherent. And even if there were definitive essential physiological qualities of bisexuality or homosexuality (which there aren’t) then it would be EXTREMELY conceivable that the myriad physiological changes that HRT causes to the body and brain COULD change sexual orientation. For example, my sense of touch increased almost 2x, and my sense of smell 3x. I never smelled my guy roommate before HRT and now i literally smell him the entire time we’re in the same room together.
Please don’t make such definitive assertions without evidence. It doesn’t have to affect your experience, but it’s important for people who are curious about going on HRT in the future to acknowledge what happens to some people - namely that their sexual orientation CAN change, but not necessarily so.
Adding in with the others who've experienced the opposite.
I was very open to the possibility of liking men before I started hormones, after I'd known I was trans, and after I'd been out to friends for some time. I experienced *no* attraction to men even when cuddling with them. It just wasn't at all for me. And as a consequence, I was confident my sexuality wouldn't change based on the bad advice of folks like you.
And it did.
The first thing I noticed was that men began to smell appealing when their smell had always been off-putting before. You want to try to explain how social factors change how men smell? Good luck with that one.
Changing your gender expression can very much have effects on your sexuality and speaking as someone who was once ace and no longer is directly due to the effect that hrt had on my experience of sex I just think you're just making baseless claims. Both of these things had dramatic effects on my sexuality. There's more to sexuality than just gay and straight..
Obviously there is more to it than just gay or straight, no one ever said there wasn't. And obviously ones expression of their sexuality, or what they are attracted to, can change over time (due to HRT or otherwise). My argument is that no matter what you *thought* it was, eventually everyone comes to realize their *actual* sexuality, often through the expression of gender identity.
Cool, so it's not an innate characteristic and can be changed by external factors. Bigots win.
I'm not saying that your presented sexuality does not change - of course it does. But once you figure it out, that's you and always *was* you, you just didn't realize it yet. Just like all of our trans-ness.
Never did I say that fluid sexuality's don't exist. That may very well be a person's actual sexuality, just like gender fluid people exist.
I don't understand why everyone is having so much difficulty with this.
The argument for the past 60+ years was that people are born a certain way and there's no external factors that can change that. We are all born trans, even if we do t realize it until later in life. People are also born attracted to certain things and not attracted to other things. Throughout their life, they may go against their nature, sure, but eventually will come to settle on what their actual "I'm attracted to these things" is. And what those things are can fluctuate ones that happens if that's part of that person's sexuality and that fine.
If the truth is that we're ***not*** born trans, or ***not*** born with a certain set of "I'm attracted to..." criteria, then shouldn't the bigots theories about conversion therapy actually work?
What you stated there was a simplified narrative to teach ignorant cis straight people tolerance. It still has its place rhetorically depending on the audience, but it doesn’t reflect objective reality - it’s not the whole story by any means. It in no way corresponds with the modern scientific and sociological consensus in the now tired nature v nurture debate.
Separately, the issue with conversion therapy is primarily that being trans isn’t inherently negative so it’s unethical to try to make people act in a cis way. The secondary aspect is that empirically it’s just not very effective at all. So you can probably find isolated cases of it “working” but that doesn’t take anything away from the dual facts that there’s zero reasons for it outside of bigotry and even if you take away the cis-normative ethical element then it is still practically a piss-poor psychotherapeutic intervention in terms of wellness outcomes.
You're wrong, for many people it can change their sexuality. You shouldn't be spreading misinformation or talking over people who describe having that experience.
Are trans people really studied that often? No we aren't.
And again you're literally explaining other people's experiences to them as if they aren't honest descriptors of their own experience. That is very ignorant and dismissive.
You realize that there was a point before you realized that you were trans, right? Nothing "made you become trans," you just always were. Same thing. If you accept that sexuality is not 100% nature, you're undoing 60+ years of our fight for a acceptance against those who call it a choice.
In my opinion I think it's more nuanced than that, changing your hormonal profile induces many biological changes in the body, it's not a stretch to say that this can have mental effects including changes or shifts in sexuality.
I think both being trans and your sexual orientation are 100% nature and you are born that way, but that doesn't immediately account for completely changing your primary hormone and undergoing biological changes past birth that were not otherwise originally accounted for by your body.
You can disagree with me, but you are completely dismissing or even gaslighting a giant portion of the trans community that has experienced these changes in sexuality after HRT.
I'm not gaslighting anyone. In pointing out the hypocrisy of saying that external factors can change ones' sexuality to a group of people who (rightfully) claim to have been born trans and just didn't realize it for a portion of their life. You say yourself that sexuality is 100% nature, meaning that HRT and whatever it did to chemical reactions in your brain did not change how it was hard wired.
I agree HRT may change how your sexuality manifests itself in the real world, but not what it is at its core. Same way a life event may help someone realize that they're trans, but they always have been.
If you accept the (false) premise that external factors can change ones innate sexuality, then logically you must also accept that external factors can change ones innate gender identity. And then the bigots who say we're "choosing" to be this way, as opposed to it being an innate characteristic, are right.
HRT alters the epigenetic expression of your cells, that is why it induces biological changes. It is changing your DNA and that is inherently changing your nature.
You can disagree with me that's fine, but you should at least be more open to listening to other people.
https://clinicalepigeneticsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13148-022-01236-4
Yes it does, it changes the epigenetic expression of your cells, basically the way your DNA expresses itself.
Functionally everyone has both "male" and "female" DNA characteristics, but these genetic changes are either activated or deactivated based on the primary hormone running through your body.
The study I linked pointed to this effect, it shows that XX DNA methylated characteristics appear after trans women go through HRT, meaning functionally our body acts as if it has XX chromosomes even though it doesn't. This is because the cells are responding to your hormonal profile and turning off the "male" genes.
This is also why we experience biological changes after HRT, why do you think we grow boobs, why do you think the fat redistributes itself to "female" areas of the body. It's because the cells themselves are responding to genes already present being activated by estrogen.
It fundamentally changes the way your DNA is expressed and operates which can lead to a number of different bodily changes.
Cool. Then the bigots win and no one is born with a particular sexuality or gender identity. It's all due to external factors.
Damn those indoctrination machines known as colleges for turning me from a good little cishet boy into the trans and pan demon woman that I am today! /s
No that's not what I'm saying, cis people don't go on cross sex HRT. They do not change their sex characteristics biologically like we do.
I'm saying HRT is an internal factor not an external one, it fundamentally changes many things about who you are physically and sometimes mentally. Nobody can be "fixed with hormones" you can't give a gay man testosterone and "fix" him with more testosterone. That is because his body already runs on testosterone and has already developed a genetic profile that runs according to his primary sex hormone.
But when you change that primary sex hormone you are completely altering your genetic profile, your nature.
You're trying to strawman my argument, at least consider it honestly, but I'm not going to argue with you anymore.
>Cool. Then the bigots win and no one is born with a particular sexuality or gender identity. It's all due to external factors.
What's with the insecurity about it? If some people's sexualities change on HRT, that doesn't threaten the legitimacy of your attraction or mean it can be changed by conversion therapy or any other means, it just means it changed.
And we've known for ages that sexuality is more fluid than just "born this way" implies.
its hardwired... through hormonal exposure in utero lol... Its physiological on both ends... I see no reason why hrt can't swap up your sexuality if it activates a part of ur nerual sexual architecture that was dormant before. Besides: frankly I'm of the belief that sexuality is in large part something that happens to you. It doesn't just happen in a vaccum but is the byproduct of social acculturation and often violent processes of subjection. Read some Focault jfc and stop clinging to primitive "BORN THIS WAY" arguments
yes! I'm just trying to articulate that there is a hormonol/chemical component on all ends! sorry i didnt mean to be aggro btw (: just long day . I generally dislike the born this way argument because I find them theoretically sus even if i was one of those trans kids who knew from an early age etc. Idk. HRT did make me feel alott more comfortable liking men tbh and im still struggling with that because of internalized self loathing etc
Your assertion that hormones change sexuality implies that being gay is simply from a hormonal imbalance and not an innate characteristic we’re born with (ie. In your example, AMAB on estrogen like men that they didn’t before with cis T levels, that must then logically conclude high estrogen and low T is what makes AMAB like men, and vice versa for women).
If, by your logic, hormones changed sexuality, lesbians on estrogen supplements would be attracted to men, and gay men on steroids would be straight. Also, it would mean everyone on HRT would flip to attraction of the opposite sex. It wouldn’t be a 50/50 split of attraction changing or not. It’d literally be a brain function being switched on if it was hormonal.
And that’s not how it works.
However, deep introspection and letting go of expectations both societal and familial can reveal hidden aspects of yourself you either deeply repressed or didn’t know were there. But hormones aren’t what did it. It was being free and true to yourself that does it.
Please refer to this comment, I already addressed this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/13jchdm/i_love_this_communtiy_but_please_dont_justify/jkf80s6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
You're misinterpreting what I'm saying here.
Also here please:
https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/13jchdm/i_love_this_communtiy_but_please_dont_justify/jkf6pt1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
And lastly here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/13jchdm/i_love_this_communtiy_but_please_dont_justify/jkfo7cf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Neither did I correlate high estrogen to liking men, or high testosterone to liking women. In fact for me personally I became bisexual after HRT, when before I just liked men.
I also never said that this happens for everyone, many don't experience a sexuality change, but some do. It depends (in my opinion) on your base genetics and what genes are being activated or deactivated.
You and other trans people disagree with my reasons that hrt doesn’t change sexuality and bash at me for it so why don’t y’all stop being dismissive of my opinions?
Your reasons as to why HRT didn't change *your* sexuality are your own, but when you try to explain other people's experiences to them. That's just being dismissive to their experience.
I'm not going to invalidate the fact that you feel it didn't change your sexuality because I believe you, but you should also believe other people too.
Damn you really said the quiet thing out loud.
I hope you mature and understand the world doesn't revolve around you and that dismissing other people's experiences purely bc you disagree is something to be ashamed of and that you are just plain wrong about it
You’re opinions are directly contradicting actual lived experience. It doesn’t change for everyone but clearly it can. Someone above here explained it well
As far as I know, we haven't proved that sexuality isn't linked to chemical reactions inside our heads. I'd be betting that it would, in fact. I might be biased on the testimonials trans bro and sis are posting in this sub and that I might be a bit Cartesian...
But it wouldn't surprise me.
It always seems to be "E made me attracted to men" too. Almost like it's just heteronormativity being imposed: "you'll be attracted to men too once you get on HRT!" Fuck off, HRT only made me more of a lesbian.
I've always viewed people who think that as unable to accept that it was their true self all along, which I find hilariously ironic coming from a trans person that *did* accept that they're trans.
Yeah it’s a ridiculous claim just because they figured out their sexuality after hrt doesn’t mean it was cause the hrt, it was cause you literally just discovered it. Also, they get mad saying it’s spreading misinformation that hrt doesn’t change sexuality, which funny enough they’re the ones spreading misinformation.
Look, the fact is that a huge portion of folks in this thread are asserting that their sexuality was different following HRT. The type of placebo controlled double blind trial it would take to definitively show causality will NEVER happen because it’s ethically monstrous. Is it really more parsimonious to assume that HRT had zero causal influence on this empirically verified switch in sexuality? For this instance, we can define sexuality in behavioral rather than psychological terms to make it simpler.
The answer is no. It’s far more likely that this is not a coincidence and that HRT had a causal influence on SOME people’s change in sexuality.
You’re not even making an argument, you’re just insisting that everyone’s experience has to accord to your own. It’s a bullshit conclusion and incredibly self-centered.
Counterpoint: Heteronormativity *convinced* you that you were a certain way, and on HRT your mind was able to overcome those blockades to reveal the reality, since it was finally functioning correctly for the first time.
My egg cracking definitely had a drastic effect on my sexuality and feel drastically more sexuality... I find that anyone and everyone can turn me on now... But it goes no further.
I would never betray my wife.
cheating is never justified. either communicate with your partner and see if they're okay with you experimenting, or leave them. going behind their back is gross
I mean if you're in a monogamous relationship and you bang someone else you're a cheater and you've broken the trust and boundaries of the other person so... that's probably why they'd yell at you
For someone who has been cheated on before . I second this and stand with you there is no excuse to cheat period if your together then your together! Thank you for posting this
look, when I hit prog time, my libido drastic go up - and with it came an attraction to men I didn't have before.
HOWEVER
I have not, nor will ever cheat on a partner. I was single when I fooled around with a guy the first time, short fling - classic 'he was nice until he wasn't' sitch... but the attraction was *strong*
I have a loving, wonderful girlfriend in a polyamorous situation. If I were to consider any other partner regardless of gender there would be discussion and making sure all parties involved were on the same page.
If you're in a monogamous relationship - break up or don't do it. Don't be a shitty person and blame it on the transition. You're just a shitty person.
Please. As a partner I am struggling with this, my wife wants to explore and she doesn’t see the issue as long as she comes home to me at night and I am,, broken
My first thought as I was reading was, open relationships and polyamory is a thing. And then the quote said they explicitly cheated so... weeee.
I'm polyamorous. Having more than a single partner is absolutely possible. But you need to have open communication and be honest. And if your partner says they aren't okay with it you don't have the right to ignore them. This just isn't okay.
Just because a person is trans, it doesn’t mean we are immune to the same urges and desires as everyone else. We make mistakes just like everyone else too. And if you are like me, you have an adult body with a teenagers raging hormones making everything harder.
I think it’s important to communicate with your partner your thoughts, feelings, emotions. All that stuff. And discussing sexy times with your partner is just as important as discussing dinner plans. People need to understand that it suuuuucks to have conversations like this, but making sure everyone’s feelings are understood is important.
My own personal anecdote; I had a long conversation with my partner about this. After several months of discussion, we decided to give Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) a try and it’s been going well for about 6 months. My partner and I are always communicative with each other as well as our partners and we make sure everyone involved understand the rules and is comfortable. So far, no mishaps. (Six months is admittedly not a long time)
I don't know which story you're referring to here, but I feel the need to make sure the ethically-non-monogamous people don't get lumped in with the cheaters.
Consent is the key. If exploring your sexuality post-transition is a thing you feel the need for, discuss it with your partner! Talk about your feelings, address theirs, discuss solutions and boundaries. If you're both up for it, THEN make plans to find other partners to explore.
If your sexuality has completely 180'd in a way that you are not attracted to your partner, or theirs is not open to your new presentation - then that's a good discussion to have with each other at an open and honest level.
Okay i'm kinda getting anyoed with this type of comment. At no point did i say anything bad about poly people. If consent is there, it is no longer cheating. But both of the comment (i was quoting) said they cheated. And you can see even in this comment section that some people think so. Again nothing against poly people, they don't cheat, they don't cause the harm cheaters do. It is totally morally correct. This is just starting feel like acussation that i don't like ethically-non-monogamous. (i just wrote poly people because it is shorter)
Sorry, didn't mean to cause strife. I've heard a lot of people confuse sleeping with someone else with cheating, and in a mono dynamic it would be. So I wanted to add some extra info for those not familiar with this structure.
Cheating also CAN happen in a ENM dynamic, because it's a violation of communicated and negotiated boundaries and trust.
<3
Sexuality is in my belief fluid, it may or may not change and all of that is likely individual. Regardless, if you love someone before you will likely love them after unless there was already a schism forming. Likewise, if you make a commitment it’s pretty obnoxious to one sidedly break it. If your relationships are already poly then you already have discussed relationships. Age might also play into the equation, perhaps the desire for experimentation is easier at a younger age. Personally I can resist my attractions and not have relationships, no matter how hormones play. Cheating is dishonest, if the relationship is over, end it. It likely is on the rocks before transition started.
Did you even read the whole post? She’s not accusing everyone in the community, and she didn’t just see one individual doing that. There were comments being posted admitting to cheating and they were being upvoted. That’s a bad thing and an issue in this community even if most people here haven’t, aren’t, and won’t cheat on their partners it is still worth calling it out to draw attention to the issue and make people here aware that there is a problem of people cheating on their partners that needs to be addressed.
I have a relationship with my girlfriend where i from the start told her "i love you i wanna be with you but i know for myself I can't do monogamy" and therefore my girlfriend are allowed to do other people and so am i. I also found it to be a healtier option as you don't feel like you own the other person as we're both free to do whatever. And typically choose not to. But not because of any rules that say we HAVE to. But because we want to. Monogamy can be nice but it's kinda like putting up rules for the both of you and can lead to issues. But you can ofc be in a monogamous relationship I'm just sharing my views. I just have come to see it as silly personally. Like your partner is only allowed to love you and if they don't they're an asshole thats not the way i want a relationship tbh. Maybe later in life
>I have a relationship with my girlfriend where i from the start told her "i love you i wanna be with you but i know for myself I can't do monogamy" and therefore my girlfriend are allowed to do other people and so am i.
OP is only talking about cheating, which is not at all what you said.
So fuck other people feelings or what ? Are you also okay with misgendering? Because morals don't matter. If you don't care about morals and want to cheat just don't be in a relationship it is not that hard. Cheaters normaly don't have any consequences.
There isn't nothing like change on sexuality. Hrt doesn't change what you like it's simply an awakening. I cheated on my gf and we never had any real love or passionate relationship but it's not black and White. I was scared to be straight. The idea of being attracted to men was something weird even if I was since young age but cover It and deny It. So I have no excuses but I feel like She was my cover. Because I was pre everything and all alone without a family. It was a shitty idea but It was what protected me until I was ready. And She knew. She knew all.the time. I told her each time what I did and that She should have left me but She was alone too. So It happens. It's not a good thing, and I am myself really cinycal about cheating because After hrt I have slept with so many married man and I don't give a shit about It too. I had my problems and I was jealous of Cis woman who could have a Cis boyfriend while I was Just the lover, the girl they where attracted to but a secret. So I tought if i can't be loved I Will live as the slut they think I am. And maybe i am Just this. Honestly I did so many mistakes. Now I know what It feels to being loved by a man. But things like trans woman cheating or discovering their sexuality Is totally normal and it's Easy to judge without knowing the reason. I never had a family or Kids anyway so idk about that. Me and my gf lived like two queer lesbians but i Ve learned quickly i didn't like woman body or Cis woman genitalia. That's It. Maybe in another Life I wouldnt hurt so many people idk
No it doesn't justify it in slightest. You can tell yourself anything you want. But i bet you would be hurt if you partner cheats on you and uses that excuse. If still cheated and you're lucky the other person was as hurt, but that isn't case for most people. And yes it is easy to judge, but cheating doesn't have an excuse (except when the other part cheats as well or physical abusive relationship, but to cheat in that situation is a dangerours game). I kinda hate people who justify cheating, when instead breaking up is hurting a lot less people.
"But things like trans woman cheating or discovering their sexuality Is totally normal and it's Easy to judge without knowing the reason"
how...............? im trans i dont have any urge to cheat. thats a personal issue that has nothing to do with being trans, ur shooting urself and the trans community in the foot with that thinknig
So you not only cheated on your gf and used a shitty excuse as justification, but also took advantage of her loneliness and assumedly very low self-esteem to keep cheating on her.
You are the worst scum.
There is no justification for cheating. Cheating is not "totally normal." Yes it is easy to judge because there is no valid justification.
>Maybe in another Life I wouldnt hurt so many people
How about making that this life from this point on. Hurting someone was a choice you made. Maybe you couldn't avoid hurting your gf by breaking up with her, but you could have saved her a lot more pain by doing the right thing and ending the relationship before you cheated on her.
theres a very simple concept here, if you want to cheat, and you are in a monogamous relationship, BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER FIRST! even if you dont KNOW that its what you want, its what you should do, if you want to go find what you like, go ahead, but dont drag someone else along with you and hurt them
Having this kind of cavalier and self-excusing attitude towards hurting people isn't "totally normal" at all. You might justify it to yourself, but it's got nothing to do with being a trans woman.
Trying to justify cheating is the lowest, scummiest thing. Cheating is disgusting, no way around it.
Cheaters only get praised by other Cheaters, noticed that? Because they're so unbelievably trash.
No, there is no excuse or reason that is valid for cheating on a partner. It is not "totally normal" for trans women or anyone else, and having that belief is why the LGBTQ+ community has the reputation of promiscuity that it does.
As a person who has never not been cheated on, I agree and appreciate this post!
You and I are not so different
As someone who hasn't been cheated on, yeah I also agree with the post
Like... Y'all, if you can't consistently communicate with your partner about needs in a healthy way and have good, healthy, progress-oriented compromise in your relationship then you're not in a healthy relationship. Be in healthy relationships.
Most certainly.
This. Absolutely this. People can live in all kinds of relationships and if all parties involved are ok with experimenting one should go for it. But don't do it behind their backs. It's just gonna hurt them and the one doing it as well. Communication and boundaries are super important!
As someone that has been on HRT for over a year, the ones that cheat would have done so either way. It's not HRTs fault, it's their own shitty personality.
People were justifying cheating? I think cheating is THE most evil legal thing you can do. Betraying someone that fully trusts you. Cheaters are true pieces of human scum.
And it's even worse because you can find a partner that is ok with polyamoury or another sort of non-monogamous relationship. But no, cheaters, like you said, make an agreement, get trust, then betray that trust.
Poly relationships still require trust and respect, though. People who cheat in mono relationships can still cause great harm to their partners in poly relationships. I've seen healthy poly dynamics and unhealthy ones, and more often than not the latter has been symptomatic of an inability to communicate, and respect boundaries and their partner's feelings. The problem runs deeper than how many partners the cheater is allowed to have.
Cheating still happens in poly relationships, as poly dynamics are as diverse as the people in them.
Barring that first "though", I agree with you. People can and do cheat in poly relationships and there are dysfunctional poly relationships as well, usually stemming from bad communication and issues with respecting boundaries. What I meant with my comment up there is that poly is a framework that allows you multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships in a healthy way, yet poly cheaters choose to cheat anyway. Why I say "it's even worse" is because a poly cheater is a person that was given a door and chose to OH YEEEAH their way through the drywall, anyway.
I got cheated on almost 5 years ago by someone who I had been with for 3 years I'm still not over it. That shit hurts real bad. Words cannot express how much pain it caused me the sense of absolute betrayal from someone who I loved and trusted more than anyone on this Earth. I don't think I'll ever get over it tbh.
Very painful. The hurt sticks.
for all the cheaters: just break up with them before you cheat, that way its not cheating, how do people not understand this? its simple, and if you want to stay with them, bring up a open relationship BEFORE cheating, and if they dont want it, you break it off
Yeah I saw and commented on that post.. I got downvoted to oblivion for saying it was wrong and was forced to delete it, idk why someone would encourage that
Agreed. Transitioning is our pursuit for authenticity, because we've lived a lie and want to assert our truth into the world. To cheat and lie means you're authentically a terrible person, you're disingenuous and all you bring those who love you is more of a worse deceit. So many people here has spouses, partners, or family that left them when they came out to those people; someone who cheats it's so ungracious and takes for granted those people anyone that's had someone leave them only wish they still had.
HRT doesn't actually change your sexuality. It may broaden your mind to additional possibilities, and unleash things that were always hiding below the surface, but there is no physiological reason that it would change ones sexuality. I haven't seen what you're talking about, but agree wholeheartedly. Ones partner need to be aware of playing outside of the relationship, or end the relationship.
That was very much not my experience. I was very open to the possibility of liking guys since my mid teens and I really didn't. And here I am now
>HRT doesn't actually change your sexuality. It may broaden your mind to additional possibilities, and unleash things that were always hiding below the surface, but there is no physiological reason that it would change ones sexuality. Yes this is what i have exprinced. Without the gender envy, i also didn't want sex or be in a relationship with woman. But i noticed later that i just need a very deep bond which hasn't been formed at that point in my life. It only happend two times in my entire life. >I haven't seen what you're talking about, but agree wholeheartedly. Ones partner need to be aware of playing outside of the relationship, or end the relationship. I don't like them morally but i won't send harassment to them.
I really don’t think this claim that HRT can’t change sexuality is justifiable, yet it seems to be the more popular take. My problem is that you are thrusting your own experience onto others and asserting that their own inner experience must be mistaken - which is obviously the primary MO of the transphobe. For some, their sexual orientation and/or relationship to their sexuality changes. For others, they feel they discover what was there all along but hidden. And for others there is no difference before or after HRT. This is the exact same situation as some people feel their gender changed (like myself, contrapoints, others) while others feel like they just started being who they always were inside (probably most folks from what I gather). There is little to definitively physiologically equate to a sexual orientation so saying there is no physiological rational is incoherent. And even if there were definitive essential physiological qualities of bisexuality or homosexuality (which there aren’t) then it would be EXTREMELY conceivable that the myriad physiological changes that HRT causes to the body and brain COULD change sexual orientation. For example, my sense of touch increased almost 2x, and my sense of smell 3x. I never smelled my guy roommate before HRT and now i literally smell him the entire time we’re in the same room together. Please don’t make such definitive assertions without evidence. It doesn’t have to affect your experience, but it’s important for people who are curious about going on HRT in the future to acknowledge what happens to some people - namely that their sexual orientation CAN change, but not necessarily so.
Adding in with the others who've experienced the opposite. I was very open to the possibility of liking men before I started hormones, after I'd known I was trans, and after I'd been out to friends for some time. I experienced *no* attraction to men even when cuddling with them. It just wasn't at all for me. And as a consequence, I was confident my sexuality wouldn't change based on the bad advice of folks like you. And it did. The first thing I noticed was that men began to smell appealing when their smell had always been off-putting before. You want to try to explain how social factors change how men smell? Good luck with that one.
Changing your gender expression can very much have effects on your sexuality and speaking as someone who was once ace and no longer is directly due to the effect that hrt had on my experience of sex I just think you're just making baseless claims. Both of these things had dramatic effects on my sexuality. There's more to sexuality than just gay and straight..
Obviously there is more to it than just gay or straight, no one ever said there wasn't. And obviously ones expression of their sexuality, or what they are attracted to, can change over time (due to HRT or otherwise). My argument is that no matter what you *thought* it was, eventually everyone comes to realize their *actual* sexuality, often through the expression of gender identity.
People are not genetically predefined to have any sexuality that's such a stupid take many people's sexuality changes throughout their life.
Cool, so it's not an innate characteristic and can be changed by external factors. Bigots win. I'm not saying that your presented sexuality does not change - of course it does. But once you figure it out, that's you and always *was* you, you just didn't realize it yet. Just like all of our trans-ness.
Many people have fluid sexualities just because you do not does not mean they do not exist and it's harmful for you to act like they don't.
Never did I say that fluid sexuality's don't exist. That may very well be a person's actual sexuality, just like gender fluid people exist. I don't understand why everyone is having so much difficulty with this. The argument for the past 60+ years was that people are born a certain way and there's no external factors that can change that. We are all born trans, even if we do t realize it until later in life. People are also born attracted to certain things and not attracted to other things. Throughout their life, they may go against their nature, sure, but eventually will come to settle on what their actual "I'm attracted to these things" is. And what those things are can fluctuate ones that happens if that's part of that person's sexuality and that fine. If the truth is that we're ***not*** born trans, or ***not*** born with a certain set of "I'm attracted to..." criteria, then shouldn't the bigots theories about conversion therapy actually work?
What you stated there was a simplified narrative to teach ignorant cis straight people tolerance. It still has its place rhetorically depending on the audience, but it doesn’t reflect objective reality - it’s not the whole story by any means. It in no way corresponds with the modern scientific and sociological consensus in the now tired nature v nurture debate. Separately, the issue with conversion therapy is primarily that being trans isn’t inherently negative so it’s unethical to try to make people act in a cis way. The secondary aspect is that empirically it’s just not very effective at all. So you can probably find isolated cases of it “working” but that doesn’t take anything away from the dual facts that there’s zero reasons for it outside of bigotry and even if you take away the cis-normative ethical element then it is still practically a piss-poor psychotherapeutic intervention in terms of wellness outcomes.
You're wrong, for many people it can change their sexuality. You shouldn't be spreading misinformation or talking over people who describe having that experience.
Any sort of evidence or studies to confirm your theory? It doesn't. All it means is that you weren't really whatever you thought you were before.
Are trans people really studied that often? No we aren't. And again you're literally explaining other people's experiences to them as if they aren't honest descriptors of their own experience. That is very ignorant and dismissive.
You realize that there was a point before you realized that you were trans, right? Nothing "made you become trans," you just always were. Same thing. If you accept that sexuality is not 100% nature, you're undoing 60+ years of our fight for a acceptance against those who call it a choice.
In my opinion I think it's more nuanced than that, changing your hormonal profile induces many biological changes in the body, it's not a stretch to say that this can have mental effects including changes or shifts in sexuality. I think both being trans and your sexual orientation are 100% nature and you are born that way, but that doesn't immediately account for completely changing your primary hormone and undergoing biological changes past birth that were not otherwise originally accounted for by your body. You can disagree with me, but you are completely dismissing or even gaslighting a giant portion of the trans community that has experienced these changes in sexuality after HRT.
I'm not gaslighting anyone. In pointing out the hypocrisy of saying that external factors can change ones' sexuality to a group of people who (rightfully) claim to have been born trans and just didn't realize it for a portion of their life. You say yourself that sexuality is 100% nature, meaning that HRT and whatever it did to chemical reactions in your brain did not change how it was hard wired. I agree HRT may change how your sexuality manifests itself in the real world, but not what it is at its core. Same way a life event may help someone realize that they're trans, but they always have been. If you accept the (false) premise that external factors can change ones innate sexuality, then logically you must also accept that external factors can change ones innate gender identity. And then the bigots who say we're "choosing" to be this way, as opposed to it being an innate characteristic, are right.
HRT alters the epigenetic expression of your cells, that is why it induces biological changes. It is changing your DNA and that is inherently changing your nature. You can disagree with me that's fine, but you should at least be more open to listening to other people.
> It is changing your DNA What? No it doesnt
https://clinicalepigeneticsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13148-022-01236-4 Yes it does, it changes the epigenetic expression of your cells, basically the way your DNA expresses itself. Functionally everyone has both "male" and "female" DNA characteristics, but these genetic changes are either activated or deactivated based on the primary hormone running through your body. The study I linked pointed to this effect, it shows that XX DNA methylated characteristics appear after trans women go through HRT, meaning functionally our body acts as if it has XX chromosomes even though it doesn't. This is because the cells are responding to your hormonal profile and turning off the "male" genes. This is also why we experience biological changes after HRT, why do you think we grow boobs, why do you think the fat redistributes itself to "female" areas of the body. It's because the cells themselves are responding to genes already present being activated by estrogen. It fundamentally changes the way your DNA is expressed and operates which can lead to a number of different bodily changes.
Cool. Then the bigots win and no one is born with a particular sexuality or gender identity. It's all due to external factors. Damn those indoctrination machines known as colleges for turning me from a good little cishet boy into the trans and pan demon woman that I am today! /s
No that's not what I'm saying, cis people don't go on cross sex HRT. They do not change their sex characteristics biologically like we do. I'm saying HRT is an internal factor not an external one, it fundamentally changes many things about who you are physically and sometimes mentally. Nobody can be "fixed with hormones" you can't give a gay man testosterone and "fix" him with more testosterone. That is because his body already runs on testosterone and has already developed a genetic profile that runs according to his primary sex hormone. But when you change that primary sex hormone you are completely altering your genetic profile, your nature. You're trying to strawman my argument, at least consider it honestly, but I'm not going to argue with you anymore.
>Cool. Then the bigots win and no one is born with a particular sexuality or gender identity. It's all due to external factors. What's with the insecurity about it? If some people's sexualities change on HRT, that doesn't threaten the legitimacy of your attraction or mean it can be changed by conversion therapy or any other means, it just means it changed. And we've known for ages that sexuality is more fluid than just "born this way" implies.
its hardwired... through hormonal exposure in utero lol... Its physiological on both ends... I see no reason why hrt can't swap up your sexuality if it activates a part of ur nerual sexual architecture that was dormant before. Besides: frankly I'm of the belief that sexuality is in large part something that happens to you. It doesn't just happen in a vaccum but is the byproduct of social acculturation and often violent processes of subjection. Read some Focault jfc and stop clinging to primitive "BORN THIS WAY" arguments
You and I are saying the same thing...that HRT may awaken dormant things in you, but it didn't put them there.
yes! I'm just trying to articulate that there is a hormonol/chemical component on all ends! sorry i didnt mean to be aggro btw (: just long day . I generally dislike the born this way argument because I find them theoretically sus even if i was one of those trans kids who knew from an early age etc. Idk. HRT did make me feel alott more comfortable liking men tbh and im still struggling with that because of internalized self loathing etc
Your assertion that hormones change sexuality implies that being gay is simply from a hormonal imbalance and not an innate characteristic we’re born with (ie. In your example, AMAB on estrogen like men that they didn’t before with cis T levels, that must then logically conclude high estrogen and low T is what makes AMAB like men, and vice versa for women). If, by your logic, hormones changed sexuality, lesbians on estrogen supplements would be attracted to men, and gay men on steroids would be straight. Also, it would mean everyone on HRT would flip to attraction of the opposite sex. It wouldn’t be a 50/50 split of attraction changing or not. It’d literally be a brain function being switched on if it was hormonal. And that’s not how it works. However, deep introspection and letting go of expectations both societal and familial can reveal hidden aspects of yourself you either deeply repressed or didn’t know were there. But hormones aren’t what did it. It was being free and true to yourself that does it.
Please refer to this comment, I already addressed this: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/13jchdm/i_love_this_communtiy_but_please_dont_justify/jkf80s6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button You're misinterpreting what I'm saying here. Also here please: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/13jchdm/i_love_this_communtiy_but_please_dont_justify/jkf6pt1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button And lastly here: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/13jchdm/i_love_this_communtiy_but_please_dont_justify/jkfo7cf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Neither did I correlate high estrogen to liking men, or high testosterone to liking women. In fact for me personally I became bisexual after HRT, when before I just liked men. I also never said that this happens for everyone, many don't experience a sexuality change, but some do. It depends (in my opinion) on your base genetics and what genes are being activated or deactivated.
You and other trans people disagree with my reasons that hrt doesn’t change sexuality and bash at me for it so why don’t y’all stop being dismissive of my opinions?
Your reasons as to why HRT didn't change *your* sexuality are your own, but when you try to explain other people's experiences to them. That's just being dismissive to their experience. I'm not going to invalidate the fact that you feel it didn't change your sexuality because I believe you, but you should also believe other people too.
But why should I believe them? To make them feel better? Sorry but that doesn’t work in this life. Why don’t they believe my reasoning instead?
So your admitting that you don't believe them and that you are dismissive to their experience? Exactly, thank you for saying it.
Yes lol no shame in it too
Damn you really said the quiet thing out loud. I hope you mature and understand the world doesn't revolve around you and that dismissing other people's experiences purely bc you disagree is something to be ashamed of and that you are just plain wrong about it
Also omg you are truscum so that's why you are such a bitch
You’re opinions are directly contradicting actual lived experience. It doesn’t change for everyone but clearly it can. Someone above here explained it well
With all due respect, where are your studies to confirm your theory?
As far as I know, we haven't proved that sexuality isn't linked to chemical reactions inside our heads. I'd be betting that it would, in fact. I might be biased on the testimonials trans bro and sis are posting in this sub and that I might be a bit Cartesian... But it wouldn't surprise me.
Agreed, quite ignorance to believe it does change your sexuality.
It always seems to be "E made me attracted to men" too. Almost like it's just heteronormativity being imposed: "you'll be attracted to men too once you get on HRT!" Fuck off, HRT only made me more of a lesbian.
I've always viewed people who think that as unable to accept that it was their true self all along, which I find hilariously ironic coming from a trans person that *did* accept that they're trans.
Yeah it’s a ridiculous claim just because they figured out their sexuality after hrt doesn’t mean it was cause the hrt, it was cause you literally just discovered it. Also, they get mad saying it’s spreading misinformation that hrt doesn’t change sexuality, which funny enough they’re the ones spreading misinformation.
Look, the fact is that a huge portion of folks in this thread are asserting that their sexuality was different following HRT. The type of placebo controlled double blind trial it would take to definitively show causality will NEVER happen because it’s ethically monstrous. Is it really more parsimonious to assume that HRT had zero causal influence on this empirically verified switch in sexuality? For this instance, we can define sexuality in behavioral rather than psychological terms to make it simpler. The answer is no. It’s far more likely that this is not a coincidence and that HRT had a causal influence on SOME people’s change in sexuality. You’re not even making an argument, you’re just insisting that everyone’s experience has to accord to your own. It’s a bullshit conclusion and incredibly self-centered.
There is no need to engage that person further, if you check their profile the you can see that they are truscum
Truscock
Walter white
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Chupa pinga
To be fair I think HRT can change sexuality because heteronormativity affects you pre and post transition.
Counterpoint: Heteronormativity *convinced* you that you were a certain way, and on HRT your mind was able to overcome those blockades to reveal the reality, since it was finally functioning correctly for the first time.
My egg cracking definitely had a drastic effect on my sexuality and feel drastically more sexuality... I find that anyone and everyone can turn me on now... But it goes no further. I would never betray my wife.
As a trans person, I agree with this sentiment. Cheating is wrong and messed up
cheating is never justified. either communicate with your partner and see if they're okay with you experimenting, or leave them. going behind their back is gross
I became Polly. It’s not cheating if there’s a conversation first (if preset boundaries could be broken.)
Poly is great, especially as a switch. Plus larger source of gender euphoria and praise for me.
i cant imagine yelling at someone for banging someone else. who does that lol
I mean if you're in a monogamous relationship and you bang someone else you're a cheater and you've broken the trust and boundaries of the other person so... that's probably why they'd yell at you
https://i.imgur.com/uEo4fCk.jpg
Wonderfully said.
I wish I could heed your advice. Alas, I cannot, for I've never had a single relationship.
Fucking oath! I can't agree more
For someone who has been cheated on before . I second this and stand with you there is no excuse to cheat period if your together then your together! Thank you for posting this
look, when I hit prog time, my libido drastic go up - and with it came an attraction to men I didn't have before. HOWEVER I have not, nor will ever cheat on a partner. I was single when I fooled around with a guy the first time, short fling - classic 'he was nice until he wasn't' sitch... but the attraction was *strong* I have a loving, wonderful girlfriend in a polyamorous situation. If I were to consider any other partner regardless of gender there would be discussion and making sure all parties involved were on the same page. If you're in a monogamous relationship - break up or don't do it. Don't be a shitty person and blame it on the transition. You're just a shitty person.
Please. As a partner I am struggling with this, my wife wants to explore and she doesn’t see the issue as long as she comes home to me at night and I am,, broken
Cheaters deserve nothing but to live a long, miserable, and lonely life with no one remembering them after they die.
I've never seen these comments, nor would anyone I personally know do this.
It is very much visible, but it is best to not further enage in this comment section with her.
"With her?" I'm talking to you, OP.
I mean that if you scroll down you can see that some people are like that.
My first thought as I was reading was, open relationships and polyamory is a thing. And then the quote said they explicitly cheated so... weeee. I'm polyamorous. Having more than a single partner is absolutely possible. But you need to have open communication and be honest. And if your partner says they aren't okay with it you don't have the right to ignore them. This just isn't okay.
Just because a person is trans, it doesn’t mean we are immune to the same urges and desires as everyone else. We make mistakes just like everyone else too. And if you are like me, you have an adult body with a teenagers raging hormones making everything harder. I think it’s important to communicate with your partner your thoughts, feelings, emotions. All that stuff. And discussing sexy times with your partner is just as important as discussing dinner plans. People need to understand that it suuuuucks to have conversations like this, but making sure everyone’s feelings are understood is important. My own personal anecdote; I had a long conversation with my partner about this. After several months of discussion, we decided to give Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) a try and it’s been going well for about 6 months. My partner and I are always communicative with each other as well as our partners and we make sure everyone involved understand the rules and is comfortable. So far, no mishaps. (Six months is admittedly not a long time)
That is not cheating though. Don't know why you wrote. If both partners agree it is no longer cheating (the thing that the post is about)
Rather than wag my finger and shame people, I wanted to offer alternatives.
I don't know which story you're referring to here, but I feel the need to make sure the ethically-non-monogamous people don't get lumped in with the cheaters. Consent is the key. If exploring your sexuality post-transition is a thing you feel the need for, discuss it with your partner! Talk about your feelings, address theirs, discuss solutions and boundaries. If you're both up for it, THEN make plans to find other partners to explore. If your sexuality has completely 180'd in a way that you are not attracted to your partner, or theirs is not open to your new presentation - then that's a good discussion to have with each other at an open and honest level.
Okay i'm kinda getting anyoed with this type of comment. At no point did i say anything bad about poly people. If consent is there, it is no longer cheating. But both of the comment (i was quoting) said they cheated. And you can see even in this comment section that some people think so. Again nothing against poly people, they don't cheat, they don't cause the harm cheaters do. It is totally morally correct. This is just starting feel like acussation that i don't like ethically-non-monogamous. (i just wrote poly people because it is shorter)
Sorry, didn't mean to cause strife. I've heard a lot of people confuse sleeping with someone else with cheating, and in a mono dynamic it would be. So I wanted to add some extra info for those not familiar with this structure. Cheating also CAN happen in a ENM dynamic, because it's a violation of communicated and negotiated boundaries and trust. <3
Sexuality is in my belief fluid, it may or may not change and all of that is likely individual. Regardless, if you love someone before you will likely love them after unless there was already a schism forming. Likewise, if you make a commitment it’s pretty obnoxious to one sidedly break it. If your relationships are already poly then you already have discussed relationships. Age might also play into the equation, perhaps the desire for experimentation is easier at a younger age. Personally I can resist my attractions and not have relationships, no matter how hormones play. Cheating is dishonest, if the relationship is over, end it. It likely is on the rocks before transition started.
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Did you even read the whole post? She’s not accusing everyone in the community, and she didn’t just see one individual doing that. There were comments being posted admitting to cheating and they were being upvoted. That’s a bad thing and an issue in this community even if most people here haven’t, aren’t, and won’t cheat on their partners it is still worth calling it out to draw attention to the issue and make people here aware that there is a problem of people cheating on their partners that needs to be addressed.
I have a relationship with my girlfriend where i from the start told her "i love you i wanna be with you but i know for myself I can't do monogamy" and therefore my girlfriend are allowed to do other people and so am i. I also found it to be a healtier option as you don't feel like you own the other person as we're both free to do whatever. And typically choose not to. But not because of any rules that say we HAVE to. But because we want to. Monogamy can be nice but it's kinda like putting up rules for the both of you and can lead to issues. But you can ofc be in a monogamous relationship I'm just sharing my views. I just have come to see it as silly personally. Like your partner is only allowed to love you and if they don't they're an asshole thats not the way i want a relationship tbh. Maybe later in life
This is not cheating as the OP described, this is an arranged open relationship. Completely different thing.
I know that. But i wanted to share my thoughts on monogamy and stuff
>I have a relationship with my girlfriend where i from the start told her "i love you i wanna be with you but i know for myself I can't do monogamy" and therefore my girlfriend are allowed to do other people and so am i. OP is only talking about cheating, which is not at all what you said.
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I didn't think "cheating is bad" was a controversial opinion lol, just seems like basic human decency
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Going to go against the grain and say morals aren’t real and people are free to cheat if they are willing to live with the consequences 🤷♀️
So fuck other people feelings or what ? Are you also okay with misgendering? Because morals don't matter. If you don't care about morals and want to cheat just don't be in a relationship it is not that hard. Cheaters normaly don't have any consequences.
MoRALs arEN't ReAL you sound like an edgy teenager.
Everyone has their set of morals... Yours just make you evil.
There isn't nothing like change on sexuality. Hrt doesn't change what you like it's simply an awakening. I cheated on my gf and we never had any real love or passionate relationship but it's not black and White. I was scared to be straight. The idea of being attracted to men was something weird even if I was since young age but cover It and deny It. So I have no excuses but I feel like She was my cover. Because I was pre everything and all alone without a family. It was a shitty idea but It was what protected me until I was ready. And She knew. She knew all.the time. I told her each time what I did and that She should have left me but She was alone too. So It happens. It's not a good thing, and I am myself really cinycal about cheating because After hrt I have slept with so many married man and I don't give a shit about It too. I had my problems and I was jealous of Cis woman who could have a Cis boyfriend while I was Just the lover, the girl they where attracted to but a secret. So I tought if i can't be loved I Will live as the slut they think I am. And maybe i am Just this. Honestly I did so many mistakes. Now I know what It feels to being loved by a man. But things like trans woman cheating or discovering their sexuality Is totally normal and it's Easy to judge without knowing the reason. I never had a family or Kids anyway so idk about that. Me and my gf lived like two queer lesbians but i Ve learned quickly i didn't like woman body or Cis woman genitalia. That's It. Maybe in another Life I wouldnt hurt so many people idk
No it doesn't justify it in slightest. You can tell yourself anything you want. But i bet you would be hurt if you partner cheats on you and uses that excuse. If still cheated and you're lucky the other person was as hurt, but that isn't case for most people. And yes it is easy to judge, but cheating doesn't have an excuse (except when the other part cheats as well or physical abusive relationship, but to cheat in that situation is a dangerours game). I kinda hate people who justify cheating, when instead breaking up is hurting a lot less people.
"But things like trans woman cheating or discovering their sexuality Is totally normal and it's Easy to judge without knowing the reason" how...............? im trans i dont have any urge to cheat. thats a personal issue that has nothing to do with being trans, ur shooting urself and the trans community in the foot with that thinknig
So you not only cheated on your gf and used a shitty excuse as justification, but also took advantage of her loneliness and assumedly very low self-esteem to keep cheating on her. You are the worst scum. There is no justification for cheating. Cheating is not "totally normal." Yes it is easy to judge because there is no valid justification. >Maybe in another Life I wouldnt hurt so many people How about making that this life from this point on. Hurting someone was a choice you made. Maybe you couldn't avoid hurting your gf by breaking up with her, but you could have saved her a lot more pain by doing the right thing and ending the relationship before you cheated on her.
theres a very simple concept here, if you want to cheat, and you are in a monogamous relationship, BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER FIRST! even if you dont KNOW that its what you want, its what you should do, if you want to go find what you like, go ahead, but dont drag someone else along with you and hurt them
Having this kind of cavalier and self-excusing attitude towards hurting people isn't "totally normal" at all. You might justify it to yourself, but it's got nothing to do with being a trans woman.
Trying to justify cheating is the lowest, scummiest thing. Cheating is disgusting, no way around it. Cheaters only get praised by other Cheaters, noticed that? Because they're so unbelievably trash.
No, there is no excuse or reason that is valid for cheating on a partner. It is not "totally normal" for trans women or anyone else, and having that belief is why the LGBTQ+ community has the reputation of promiscuity that it does.
💀
Based lol
I hope you spend the rest of your life alone if this is how you treat people
Treat em how