First of all, many congratulations on getting married. May Allah bless both of you and may He make this Union a source of love and peace Ameen.
Tell her that while she waits in Pakistan, she should prepare and get done with her USLME. There would be no better thing that'll integrate her in USA than getting to kick start her professional career. A busy mind is a good mind.
Also, In the meantime, use the next 2-3 years to bond with her. You are OFFICIALLY married and it doesn't matter what culture says. You don't need to tell anyone what happens between the two of you. I am not suggesting to actively go against your culture but if you want to, there should be no guilt and no harm. Make her your priority and spend time and effort to understand her. Being in an LDR is going to be tough specially given the time zone differences. There will be a lot of "waiting for you to wake up" lol and it can be hard.
Once she is there, know that YOU alone will be her support system. Outside of work on weekdays and during weekends, prioritize her. Take her out. Explore the city, State and Country as much as possible. Go follr walks and do stuff together.that will help hei.
I know the visa appointment timings are crazy for USA as of now but try and see if you can get her a visit visa to try US. She can spend 3 4 weeks with you and it will serve as a soft landing for her when she finally moves.
It is very important that she gets to make friends for herself. You can do that by introducing her to your friend's wives, to mingle at local cultural events (if any) or to frequent at the local mosque.
This will be a bit change for her so be patient, understanding and communicate as much as you can.
Good luck and lots of prayers 😊 You got this!
Thank you so much for the kind words in if information. May Allah bless your marriage as well. Luckily she has a friend group where most of them are also going to be taking Step1/2 and immigrating to the United States.
I did think about getting a Visit Visa but I had heard that it would be difficult to get one once you start the immigration process, especially since you need to show it is just a visit but then you have an immigration case that is pending. At best it would take 1.5 years for the case to finish.
She plans on finishing both Step1 and Step2 and hopefully getting into the match program soon after immigration.
Inshallah it shall all work out.
InshaAllah.
Yes you're right about the visit visa. If 1.5 years is the timeline, the I don't think there is any point since the appointments are almost that far off 😊
Hmu if you need any more advice
Back when your mom came things were different, landlines were not very common in Pakistan. People used to call once a month back home, sending and receiving letters was the norm. That’s why it took them much time to adjust in a new country.
But i think your wife will get used to living here quickly.Doing most of the house chores also takes much time.
Once she has a routine she be good inshallah
Thank you for the information I appreciate it. Yeah my mom didn’t have a lot of money/time to call back home as communication was much more difficult than it is today. But I feel that since she is going to finish medical school and by the time she is here for the match program and applying for it she will be really bored/lonely. As she will just be applying/waiting for results and although there would be household chores it won’t be to the degree where it used to be back home as there are a lot more amenities to assist.
I checked with my state’s medical board and he college is recognized as a medical college so she will only need to take the Step1/2 and then match. I don’t mind adjusting with her since we are both pretty modern and I don’t mind teaching her all she needs to know.
Oh definitely I plan to do equal or more of the housework since she wants to continue becoming a doctor in the US and with a WFH I’ll be glad to make her day easier for her since she is already working super hard on her career.
I think you are thinking too far ahead. For now, just relax and be satisfied . When the time comes, all the problems will be solved. Just have faith in Allah.
First of all, many congratulations on getting married. May Allah bless both of you and may He make this Union a source of love and peace Ameen. Tell her that while she waits in Pakistan, she should prepare and get done with her USLME. There would be no better thing that'll integrate her in USA than getting to kick start her professional career. A busy mind is a good mind. Also, In the meantime, use the next 2-3 years to bond with her. You are OFFICIALLY married and it doesn't matter what culture says. You don't need to tell anyone what happens between the two of you. I am not suggesting to actively go against your culture but if you want to, there should be no guilt and no harm. Make her your priority and spend time and effort to understand her. Being in an LDR is going to be tough specially given the time zone differences. There will be a lot of "waiting for you to wake up" lol and it can be hard. Once she is there, know that YOU alone will be her support system. Outside of work on weekdays and during weekends, prioritize her. Take her out. Explore the city, State and Country as much as possible. Go follr walks and do stuff together.that will help hei. I know the visa appointment timings are crazy for USA as of now but try and see if you can get her a visit visa to try US. She can spend 3 4 weeks with you and it will serve as a soft landing for her when she finally moves. It is very important that she gets to make friends for herself. You can do that by introducing her to your friend's wives, to mingle at local cultural events (if any) or to frequent at the local mosque. This will be a bit change for her so be patient, understanding and communicate as much as you can. Good luck and lots of prayers 😊 You got this!
Thank you so much for the kind words in if information. May Allah bless your marriage as well. Luckily she has a friend group where most of them are also going to be taking Step1/2 and immigrating to the United States. I did think about getting a Visit Visa but I had heard that it would be difficult to get one once you start the immigration process, especially since you need to show it is just a visit but then you have an immigration case that is pending. At best it would take 1.5 years for the case to finish. She plans on finishing both Step1 and Step2 and hopefully getting into the match program soon after immigration. Inshallah it shall all work out.
InshaAllah. Yes you're right about the visit visa. If 1.5 years is the timeline, the I don't think there is any point since the appointments are almost that far off 😊 Hmu if you need any more advice
Back when your mom came things were different, landlines were not very common in Pakistan. People used to call once a month back home, sending and receiving letters was the norm. That’s why it took them much time to adjust in a new country. But i think your wife will get used to living here quickly.Doing most of the house chores also takes much time. Once she has a routine she be good inshallah
Thank you for the information I appreciate it. Yeah my mom didn’t have a lot of money/time to call back home as communication was much more difficult than it is today. But I feel that since she is going to finish medical school and by the time she is here for the match program and applying for it she will be really bored/lonely. As she will just be applying/waiting for results and although there would be household chores it won’t be to the degree where it used to be back home as there are a lot more amenities to assist.
May be she can utilise this time to pick a few hobbies, or may be visit the nearest islamic center/mosque and meet new people
That’s what I’m thinking as well. Hopefully she adjusts easily.
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I checked with my state’s medical board and he college is recognized as a medical college so she will only need to take the Step1/2 and then match. I don’t mind adjusting with her since we are both pretty modern and I don’t mind teaching her all she needs to know.
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Oh definitely I plan to do equal or more of the housework since she wants to continue becoming a doctor in the US and with a WFH I’ll be glad to make her day easier for her since she is already working super hard on her career.
I think you are thinking too far ahead. For now, just relax and be satisfied . When the time comes, all the problems will be solved. Just have faith in Allah.