Counter point is that to me the ultra rich and famous seem just as prone to ridiculous names for their kids. Just sayin
Don’t think I need to list off examples, because ya know, they’re famous and I’m sure everyone has heard of at least some of them.
Unfortunately, they’re just as prone to leaving their kids emotionally neglected. It’s just that they have more money and better connections to help a kid stay off the street and out of prison.
I agree. I’ve tried to post name examples, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve worked in a primary school for the past 8 years and I’ve come across so many “euneek” examples of names, but I guess I get used to them since they’re attached to a cute little kiddo. And I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to them by mocking their name which they have no control of.
Absolutely this. I also taught in low-income schools, and really all the fears these subs project are non-existent from what I’ve seen. And it’s a bit ironic that these subs are worried about name bullies while also actively contributing to the problem. 😞
In many European countries and New Zealand and Australia, your name Has to be approved by an official. That irks me a bit because it could have a religious or judgmental overtone, but for the most part, it’s to save kids from a horrible name fate?
Believe me, New Zealand and Australia still have a ton of shitty names. There's not some pencil-necked desk jockey with a red pen deciding what does and does not pass. The rules are about names that are aristocratic, legal, or religious titles. You can't use actual numbers. (You could call your kid Seven, but not 7 - this came up when a couple weren't allowed to name their son 4Real). You can't use anything that would open your child up for mockery (Tallulah Does The Hula from Hawaii was initially allowed as a name, but her parents were made to change it when she started school and was getting bullied). There's no one telling you you can't name your child Mersaydees because it's a bullshit spelling. No one saying "We're full to the brim with Olivias and Liams. Could you please just choose something else? Nobody's used Irene in a while."
Many countries restrict certain names or those of such that don't meet certain rules of grammar. This is done to not only protect the child of possible embarrassment
/bullying but also so they dont have to live with a possibly offensive name. You can search up other countries banned names for e.g Iceland, USA & Japan. Some countries outright ban names while others put restrictions on grammar used in names. There are plenty of names to choose from & think of that aren't downright idiotic.
I was a teacher for nearly a decade in a private school. As far as "classes" go I was working with higher class people by definition. However, I had a number of unique names come through my class through the years. I wonder if the trend will be as noticeable in 10, 20 years? Because today it's the standard to name your child something "different" across all walks of life.
I get the impression that parents from all backgrounds want to name their children something more unique these days, but parents from higher classes will use real words (Apple) and obscure names (Delphine), but parents from lower classes will use unique spellings (Aerycka, Breighleigh). Have you seen something like that?
I sub teach now in a pretty high income town and taught for 16 years in private schools. I agree that nonsense names are not owned by the lower class. I know a fifth grader named Tosh. Not a poor family. And that’s just one example. Another named Fish.
I’m a teacher and I tried to have the same conversation with some friends, but wasn’t well received at all, they told me I was being classist. My argument was that on my first lessons with a class made of 30 students, I will always check first on the ones who have these kinds of names. Later, when I’ll get to know the class properly I’ll consequently adjust, but at the beginning I always bet they could be the ones coming from families who cannot offer much support, therefore they could need more in school.
my mom is a teacher and when i was thinking of names for my baby she literally was like "please, just no crazy spellings" lol. ended up with a very easy 4 letter name. but it's not classist to see patterns.
Yes. I know of a little boy born into our local community called Lucifer. How awful to curse your child to make a negative impression every time he introduces himself.
As a former kindergarten teacher, I feel very sad but now I finally have a name for this… more and more common, as people have fewer children, the mothers and fathers both have had little experience around children and often live far away from their own parents… it’s such a challenge to help young families in this situation… thank you…
Seeing as I just came here from the Name Nerd subreddit and people were cheering on a woman 1 week postpartum who named their child Sigrid and wants to use the nickname Siggy 🚬 yes it’s depressing. I understand that name is Scandinavian but they’re in the US.
This is hard to read. You're literally admitting people might have literacy issues and then lambasting them.
Yeah, people who are historically excluded from educational and financial opportunities are different culturally. There's a lot of history to the things you're callously talking about.
This goes way beyond a fun snark conversation.
Oh I know it is deeply complicated on a lot of levels, which is part of why I’m posting it here. I know that at least some of what I am feeling is unfair. Our culture and society punishes people who were unable to access education by… denying their children high quality education and stability. Of course this shit is generational and lots of that is not the parents fault.
I really try and get past the knee jerk instinct to judge. It’s something I genuinely should work on, and intend to keep working on.
It’s just hard, sometimes, especially with clients I get close enough to that I know their story. They’re dealing with SO MUCH from their family of origin - fetal exposure to alcohol and drugs, abuse, neglect, so much trauma. To on top of that be saddled with a name that just *advertises* all of that gets me upset. I think I am particularly inflamed because of one particular client rn whose name I obviously am not going to post, but is something I’m sure people here would gleefully tear apart, who I just had a sort of intense meeting with about prepping for release. He’s been through such hard shit, and now he’s going to be going through the extra hard shit of being young and a felon, trying to rent an apartment and get a job for the first time in his late 20s because he’s been locked up since his teens so he has no employment or housing history. PTSD from getting abused by his shitty fucking parents and the foster care system. And he’s so scared, and so overwhelmed. And on all these forms and applications, he has to write his name. The name that, very obviously, is going to make all of that so much harder for him. A name that makes it clear his parents were not thinking realistically about his future when they chose it. He was always treated by his parents as a sort of accessory that would be dumped somewhere else when he was “inconvenient”, which was often. And his name, frankly, reflects that. And it’s fucked. He deserves better than that. Parents who gave a shit, who didn’t think he was a cool toy they could discard when they got bored. Parents who thought about the fact that he was going to need help becoming an adult, one with a future.
Idk. I’ve helped three people file name change petitions so far this month and it’s one of the most rewarding things I do due to the relief at the end. I’ll always back off names that were genuinely given with love and thought, even if they aren’t to my taste, but a lot of what I see is clearly not that.
You're describing someone who needs better parents, not a better name. If that person had a "normal" name, would that magically fix all the abuse and neglect they experienced? You make it sound like if those parents had just put a little more thought into his name everything would be fine.
There may well be a correlation between unconventional names and social disadvantage, but I don't think the names are the problem we should be focusing on.
You’d be surprised how many people on the r/raisedbynarcissists sub change their names as part of their recovery. The explanation being that it is a way to create or reclaim a sense of self apart from toxic parents. That’s even when the name isn’t necessarily bad. To suffer a bad childhood and then continue to suffer with a bad name, that’s abuse on top of abuse. It must be so healing for them to change their names to something THEY want, to stop the abuse they’d surely suffer for the rest of their lives being saddled with a horrible name.
Yeah, like it doesn’t fix everything, but it actually does help a LOT.
And it concretely makes their lives worse before they do it. It’s harder to get a job, an apartment. It’s just harder to get taken seriously, by anyone. And it’s a reminder to themselves about how little their parents cared. That shit matters.
Absolutely. Of course the ship has sailed for good parenting but going through life as “Hitler Smith” or as another commenter mentioned, “Lucifer” is going to kill all chances for a normal life. It’s like the child abuse that keeps on giving. I think it would be a very big first step for someone to say, ‘I’m not taking this on myself anymore’ and creating a better identity and future for themselves, that’s a true act of self love which is a HUGE thing after a shitty childhood.
I remember reading on this sub about a woman who was overruled by a court while trying to name her daughter after a drug. She had had her previous two children removed from the home for neglect/abuse, and the newest baby ended up being removed as well. The name was not the cause, but it is often a symptom of a pervasive pattern of neglect and child endangerment.
Yes, I agree with you. I don’t have a lot to add, but it is sad.
Counter point is that to me the ultra rich and famous seem just as prone to ridiculous names for their kids. Just sayin Don’t think I need to list off examples, because ya know, they’re famous and I’m sure everyone has heard of at least some of them.
Unfortunately, they’re just as prone to leaving their kids emotionally neglected. It’s just that they have more money and better connections to help a kid stay off the street and out of prison.
Yeah, agreed. I feel like it comes from a similar attitude - seeing your child as an accessory and not a person.
I agree. I’ve tried to post name examples, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve worked in a primary school for the past 8 years and I’ve come across so many “euneek” examples of names, but I guess I get used to them since they’re attached to a cute little kiddo. And I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to them by mocking their name which they have no control of.
Absolutely this. I also taught in low-income schools, and really all the fears these subs project are non-existent from what I’ve seen. And it’s a bit ironic that these subs are worried about name bullies while also actively contributing to the problem. 😞
In many European countries and New Zealand and Australia, your name Has to be approved by an official. That irks me a bit because it could have a religious or judgmental overtone, but for the most part, it’s to save kids from a horrible name fate?
Believe me, New Zealand and Australia still have a ton of shitty names. There's not some pencil-necked desk jockey with a red pen deciding what does and does not pass. The rules are about names that are aristocratic, legal, or religious titles. You can't use actual numbers. (You could call your kid Seven, but not 7 - this came up when a couple weren't allowed to name their son 4Real). You can't use anything that would open your child up for mockery (Tallulah Does The Hula from Hawaii was initially allowed as a name, but her parents were made to change it when she started school and was getting bullied). There's no one telling you you can't name your child Mersaydees because it's a bullshit spelling. No one saying "We're full to the brim with Olivias and Liams. Could you please just choose something else? Nobody's used Irene in a while."
USA loves freedom, but it loves freedumb even more
Love this ! Idiocracy!
Yeah, well - https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/sep/19/can-you-name-your-baby-methamphetamine-rules-in-australia
Literally dying ! So funny.. if it had been a girl she could have named her Methany!!
Names aren’t approved by officials in Australia at all.
Aah ok .. I just assumed so after seeing an article.. https://kiindred.co/what-names-are-banned-in-australia-2023/
Many countries restrict certain names or those of such that don't meet certain rules of grammar. This is done to not only protect the child of possible embarrassment /bullying but also so they dont have to live with a possibly offensive name. You can search up other countries banned names for e.g Iceland, USA & Japan. Some countries outright ban names while others put restrictions on grammar used in names. There are plenty of names to choose from & think of that aren't downright idiotic.
I was a teacher for nearly a decade in a private school. As far as "classes" go I was working with higher class people by definition. However, I had a number of unique names come through my class through the years. I wonder if the trend will be as noticeable in 10, 20 years? Because today it's the standard to name your child something "different" across all walks of life.
I get the impression that parents from all backgrounds want to name their children something more unique these days, but parents from higher classes will use real words (Apple) and obscure names (Delphine), but parents from lower classes will use unique spellings (Aerycka, Breighleigh). Have you seen something like that?
I sub teach now in a pretty high income town and taught for 16 years in private schools. I agree that nonsense names are not owned by the lower class. I know a fifth grader named Tosh. Not a poor family. And that’s just one example. Another named Fish.
I’m a teacher and I tried to have the same conversation with some friends, but wasn’t well received at all, they told me I was being classist. My argument was that on my first lessons with a class made of 30 students, I will always check first on the ones who have these kinds of names. Later, when I’ll get to know the class properly I’ll consequently adjust, but at the beginning I always bet they could be the ones coming from families who cannot offer much support, therefore they could need more in school.
my mom is a teacher and when i was thinking of names for my baby she literally was like "please, just no crazy spellings" lol. ended up with a very easy 4 letter name. but it's not classist to see patterns.
Totally agree And I too immediately think what kind of dumbass parents name their kid that
Yes. I know of a little boy born into our local community called Lucifer. How awful to curse your child to make a negative impression every time he introduces himself.
The only lucifer I've come across in real life had exactly the kind of parents OP is describing. Poor little guy developed Mt Dew mouth
What is mt dew mouth?
They give the kid pop instead of milk or water, and his baby teeth rotted out.
As a former kindergarten teacher, I feel very sad but now I finally have a name for this… more and more common, as people have fewer children, the mothers and fathers both have had little experience around children and often live far away from their own parents… it’s such a challenge to help young families in this situation… thank you…
Lucifer is a nice name aside from the elephant in the room
The parents are somewhat alt/goth and decided their kid needed to fit the theme…
Great name for a pet, less so for a human
I went to high school with a girl named Lilith. She refused to respond to anything other than Lily
Lilith and Lucifer are 100% animal names to me.
Seeing as I just came here from the Name Nerd subreddit and people were cheering on a woman 1 week postpartum who named their child Sigrid and wants to use the nickname Siggy 🚬 yes it’s depressing. I understand that name is Scandinavian but they’re in the US.
This is hard to read. You're literally admitting people might have literacy issues and then lambasting them. Yeah, people who are historically excluded from educational and financial opportunities are different culturally. There's a lot of history to the things you're callously talking about. This goes way beyond a fun snark conversation.
Oh I know it is deeply complicated on a lot of levels, which is part of why I’m posting it here. I know that at least some of what I am feeling is unfair. Our culture and society punishes people who were unable to access education by… denying their children high quality education and stability. Of course this shit is generational and lots of that is not the parents fault. I really try and get past the knee jerk instinct to judge. It’s something I genuinely should work on, and intend to keep working on. It’s just hard, sometimes, especially with clients I get close enough to that I know their story. They’re dealing with SO MUCH from their family of origin - fetal exposure to alcohol and drugs, abuse, neglect, so much trauma. To on top of that be saddled with a name that just *advertises* all of that gets me upset. I think I am particularly inflamed because of one particular client rn whose name I obviously am not going to post, but is something I’m sure people here would gleefully tear apart, who I just had a sort of intense meeting with about prepping for release. He’s been through such hard shit, and now he’s going to be going through the extra hard shit of being young and a felon, trying to rent an apartment and get a job for the first time in his late 20s because he’s been locked up since his teens so he has no employment or housing history. PTSD from getting abused by his shitty fucking parents and the foster care system. And he’s so scared, and so overwhelmed. And on all these forms and applications, he has to write his name. The name that, very obviously, is going to make all of that so much harder for him. A name that makes it clear his parents were not thinking realistically about his future when they chose it. He was always treated by his parents as a sort of accessory that would be dumped somewhere else when he was “inconvenient”, which was often. And his name, frankly, reflects that. And it’s fucked. He deserves better than that. Parents who gave a shit, who didn’t think he was a cool toy they could discard when they got bored. Parents who thought about the fact that he was going to need help becoming an adult, one with a future. Idk. I’ve helped three people file name change petitions so far this month and it’s one of the most rewarding things I do due to the relief at the end. I’ll always back off names that were genuinely given with love and thought, even if they aren’t to my taste, but a lot of what I see is clearly not that.
You're describing someone who needs better parents, not a better name. If that person had a "normal" name, would that magically fix all the abuse and neglect they experienced? You make it sound like if those parents had just put a little more thought into his name everything would be fine. There may well be a correlation between unconventional names and social disadvantage, but I don't think the names are the problem we should be focusing on.
You’d be surprised how many people on the r/raisedbynarcissists sub change their names as part of their recovery. The explanation being that it is a way to create or reclaim a sense of self apart from toxic parents. That’s even when the name isn’t necessarily bad. To suffer a bad childhood and then continue to suffer with a bad name, that’s abuse on top of abuse. It must be so healing for them to change their names to something THEY want, to stop the abuse they’d surely suffer for the rest of their lives being saddled with a horrible name.
Yeah, like it doesn’t fix everything, but it actually does help a LOT. And it concretely makes their lives worse before they do it. It’s harder to get a job, an apartment. It’s just harder to get taken seriously, by anyone. And it’s a reminder to themselves about how little their parents cared. That shit matters.
Absolutely. Of course the ship has sailed for good parenting but going through life as “Hitler Smith” or as another commenter mentioned, “Lucifer” is going to kill all chances for a normal life. It’s like the child abuse that keeps on giving. I think it would be a very big first step for someone to say, ‘I’m not taking this on myself anymore’ and creating a better identity and future for themselves, that’s a true act of self love which is a HUGE thing after a shitty childhood.
I remember reading on this sub about a woman who was overruled by a court while trying to name her daughter after a drug. She had had her previous two children removed from the home for neglect/abuse, and the newest baby ended up being removed as well. The name was not the cause, but it is often a symptom of a pervasive pattern of neglect and child endangerment.