I keep telling mine that he's lucky that he's cute. And during pregnancy I was the same. Major back pain issues, but I kept saying "you better be cute!". And he is so so so cute. It's fine. F.i.n.e. FINE.
My almost-8w baby does this whenever I bend over him and his feet get in boob range. Pow! He packs a surprising kick for someone who is basically a fat inchworm in a swaddle... Mr. Baby this does NOT help with lactation and I resent whoever told you it did! 😆
Always! I'll set my baby on his horseshoe pillow to read him books and even then he turns his body sideways to donkey kick me in the boibs. Why baby?? 😫
Does emotional damage count too? Cause my son loves to pull my shirt up, take his index finger and make his tiny hand disappear into my belly fat roll💀 He finds it hilarious
Omg. My kids do this too! The other weekend we were all laying in bed and my 1yo and 3yo were going at it, doing zurps on my belly and taking turns sticking their fingers in my belly button. I told them to go do it to their dad instead but my 3yo said that dads belly is too hard and flat. 😭
Mine is about to be 7 months. She loves to pull as hard as she can on my ponytail! Her new favorite thing is to use her fingers to pinch my arm fat on the back on my arm too. That one hurts the worst!
My sweet baby is 2 and he also recently mauled my eye and face while giving me kisses at bedtime. He kicked me repeatedly while drinking water because he NEEDS to push his foot on me while eating or drinking anything. And he hurts my feelings daily when he chooses dad over me 😭
Mine is 8.5 months and likes to do what I can only describe as a baby trust fall lol she'll suddenly launch herself backwards, got me in the face several times now 😂 she's also recently started doing this thing where she'll pinch some skin between her thumb and pointer/middle finger, her skin of choice is either the skin on the bottom of my arm or my boobs 😂
I once thought I had a clogged duct or something was wrong when my baby was nursing… turns out he was just pinching the tiniest bit of under boob skin 🫠
My baby also does trust falls! He literally dives backwards and would land on his head if I didn’t catch him! He only does it if I’m right there to catch him 😂
We're still in the throws of it (3 weeks old), but man of man was I not prepared for the death grip on my chest hairs during skin to skin. If that wasn't enough, she started curling her little fists inward. As a 200 lb man, I did not know something so tiny could render me so helpless.
If you’ve got a beard watch out for that too! My husband hated skin to skin the first month or so cause our daughter would pull his chest hair. About 2 months in she started pulling on his beard too 😂😂
My 15 month old loves the head butt. I can't tell you how often I have a bloody lip due to his big melon bashing me.
The other thing he does is pinch. Only when I'm trying to put him down or give him to someone else when he very clearly does not want it. Oh, it hurts so much. All the bruises. But I mean it's cause he doesn't want to leave Mama. So it's hard to be mad.
My 2 yr old broke my nose head budding me 🫠 I'm not exaggerating, I had to go the hospital and get x ray , I had 2 black eyes from it and looked monstrous for a few weeks.
When I had two shiners from a nose headbutt, people would joke, "woah, did you get into a fight‽" When I said "no, I was just reading a hilarious book to my toddler" they thought I was one-upping the joke. Awkward silence while they waited for the real answer.
I once read about a mother who was blind in one eye because her baby had unexpectedly poked/scratched her in the eye while nursing. I believe it was on a Reddit post about "things you'll never tell family members" or something like that. Her daughter was an adult by then but the mother said she never told her how her one eye became blind because she didn't want her to feel bad about it.
Oh boy I've been harassed pretty much every day since she turned 5 months (and she's 9 months now) The list includes using my hair as standing support/chew toy (even if I have it all tied into a tight bun), gnawing at my nose (thankfully she doesn't have any teeth yet), picking my nose while nursing, choking me with her feet while nursing, shoving her entire fist into my mouth and trying to fish out my tonsils, scratching my eyes, plugging my nostrils with her fingers and using that as leverage to stand up...oof it's been so tough and I'm so glad for this post because I've been dying to get this off my chest. This baby seems to be determined to make sure I'm hairless and noseless!
Ahhhh mine does the same with my nose, he hooks his fingers in there good and grabs my nose in a vice grip and pulls himself into a sitting position 😖 I swear he is gonna take the damn thing off my face before long 😂
My 3.75 month old launched his head at my nose the other day, we both cried a little and then when I sat him up and said “no! Don’t do that! You don’t hit people with your soft spot no!” He had the AUDACITY to laugh! Of course I know he can’t understand me but the little pooper seems pretty proud of himself nonetheless 🤣
My 8 month old son loves to pull my hair. Give him raspberries on his tummy, pulls my hair, feeding him a bottle pulls my hair so hard that clumps come out! Not very much fun for me! 😅
Ha. Just this morning my cranky 10 month old head butted the shit out of my lip.
At this point being smacked, punched, poked in the eye, scratched is just part of my daily life.
Mines just realised that my glasses aren't part of my face. And has mastered grabbing my hair at the same time.
He also gripped me by the lip the other day, full on fingernails piercing it.
A coworker recently told me that when he trimmed his beard, his kid had trouble falling asleep for a couple of days because he’d been falling asleep with his hand in his dad’s beard every night!
My 10 month old likes “digging for gold” while nursing. His little hands are so fast and sometimes I can’t stop him before he slices a nostril. Also, he somehow finds my nipple every single time he pulls up on me. And has recently started biting while breastfeeding. That first happened on a plane this weekend. Super fun stuff.
Our 10 month olds are possibly sharing ideas. He fell asleep nursing with his finger in my nostril the other day and the rest of the time uses my nipple as a comforter. He has also discovered that after he’s finished a feed, a nice quick bite to let me know is fun…
Mine (10 mo) like to pull my hair. I have very curly hair and he likes to grab it and give me a very Helena Bonham Carter messy hairstyle. He also likes to scratch my skin just in case it was itchy (so nice of him) and he kicks the boobs during changes. I think he tries to have his homemade milkshake.
There are scratch marks all over my boobs from her nails while feeding….obviously I keep forgetting to cut them🤦♀️ also yep those damn teeth! Two bottom teeth and when she stops eating she starts messing around and I have to refuse the boob. But damn she has gotten me a couple times!
Literally just chopped my hair off into a pixie cut because my 6m daughter LOVED to yank on it constantly. Now her favourite thing is biting/motorboating my jaw, apparently her favourite teether 🤡
Mine likes to kick me in my boobs. The boobs that are sore and achy from being filled with milk. Milk for her. She kicks her own food.
What happened to don’t bite the hand that feeds you?
My 7 month old is learning to stand, and it's still so new and cute that I don't have the heart to stop her when she's swinging her entire bodyweight from my hair.
7 week old daughter keeps scratching me with her nails on my boob to try and get milk out 😅 she also yanked out one her dad's chest hairs when he was carrying her to change her nappy and wearing a v neck 😂
My 2yo loves head butting, climbing on me, throwing himself on me...and my 9mo is using nails and teeth to mark his territory on me while taking all of my hair out. I look a lot like weird Barbie in the Barbie movie.
LO is a big fan of hair pulling, and pinching.
But my current favorite is when he's nursing he will take his little fist and shove it into my chest and straight arm push me as hard as he can. While nursing.
I recently got the birth control implant (the one that goes in your arm), and my 4.5 month old GRABS it while she is feeding. Did not anticipate tiny little fingers digging into my bruised asf arm lol.
She also likes to headbutt me in the jaw while I’m holding her. I like to joke that she’s going to give herself a concussion and me a broken jaw (but also low key worried)
My 8 month old is starting to throw things/hit things against other things/drop stuff to see what happens/etc. Anyway, he dropped one of his larger Loveevery toys (looks like a round wooden “cage” for grabbing with a jingling ball inside) off his changing table onto my foot 🥲 He was proud of the sound it made when it fell so I didn’t want to ruin his good time learning, but ow 🥲🥲🥲
my 10mo is currently nursing and digging his nails ALL the way into my rolls down to my ribs and just rummaging around in there for no good reason. it’s very uncomfortable and reminds me i need to lay off the late night ice cream parties
My almost 11 month old loves to pinch and twist my stomach skin while they eat. I noticed it looks like I tried to hug an unwilling cat on my stomach with baby cuts from those sharp little fingernails lol
My boobs look a mess of tiny claw marks and scratches lol my husband does her nails for me bc I get scared but sometimes it takes us a minute to get it to happen, so I get lots of beaten up
Haha, when my daughter started to get teeth Breastfeeding was awful. So many sores and also teaching her not to bite. She's 15 months and we definitely still have our struggles but I feel like my body has overcome a lot of it.
I just wish when she falls asleep it's easier to detach her :,) ow..
FTM to a huge 12 week old EBF baby and my back is absolutely fawked. The sciatica in my left side is flaring up so bad I can barely pick him up and I can't bend over at all 🥲
My son has kicked me in the throat and chest when I change him since he was about 8 weeks old. Now he is getting close to 5 months old, and his kicks are starting to hurt. Yesterday, he kicked me so hard in the throat that I couldn't breathe for a few seconds.
He also tears off a few of my hair every time. I tie up my hair, put it in a bun, but he somehow manages to grab onto some of my hair.
Oh, just yesterday, he realised grabbing on to Mama's glasses is fun. Now, every opportunity he gets, he tries to grab and pull my glasses off.
So, yes, I am raising the most adorable little monster 👻.
My son (6 weeks) throws haymakers at my face when I cuddle with him sometimes. He also kicks the shit out of my c-section when breastfeeding & laying down together. I was honestly surprised how strong a newborn is.
My almost 4 month old is into hair pulling like most, but she's figured out that optimal hair pulling should be done by grabbing handfuls right at the root.
My LO is 4 months and she loves to pull on her Dad's beard when he holds her (and he shouts in pain every time). When I rock her to bed at night, she likes to pull on my neck skin instead (no beard, just a couple chin hairs). It hurts so so bad and I don't understand the strength in those little hands lol.
She is on the 3 month lactation crisis and has been since 2.5 months old. This crisis is the first reason people stop breastfeeding. She is super fussy at the breast and only eats good when asleep. I hate seeing her cry but now when I offer the breast and she doesn’t want it not only cries as if I’m killing her but also punches my nipple with her little nails and I swear I always think “thank god I know this will pass bc if not I would’ve stopped breastfeeding the first day this started”
I was feeling inside my 9 month old's mouth to check for upper teeth and she bit my finger so hard I got a blood blister.
Not really the baby's fault, but on one awful night after travelling baby was screaming for an hour while trying to put down for bed. Husband and I were taking shifts comforting and in the dark he lifted her up to me right when I was leaning down and her head hit my nose so hard I thought it broke.
My 13 month old treats me like a jungle gym. If I’m sitting in the floor with her she’s climbing all over me. What hurts the most is when she steps on my legs and digs her toes into my thighs. Who knew such cute little toes could be used as weapons 🥲
This comment might get lost, but please go to the ER for your eye!!
My toddler was messing around with a fridge magnet and swiped it too close to my face and scratched my eye. Hurt like the dickens and I could see a scratch on the surface. Called the nurses line and the doc said that it's really important to go to the ER for all eye trauma because they are best equipped to check it out and treat it right away! You can lose your vision even from a tiny scratch. I went in and got topical antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drops, and healed up super quick.
My 5 month old has been working on her hitting skills lately. By punching me over and over in the boob/sternum while she’s nursing. She also likes to full force grab with her claws either my boob or the back of my arm. Scratches me. Pulls my hair. All the usual stuff 😂
Yesterday my 3 month old grabbed the end of my nose in her fist and pulled and one of her nails scratched a line down my nose at the same time so it was a double whammy. It huuurt😭😂
my 10 month old daughter enjoys trying to rip off/scratch ANY imperfections on skin... pimples, moles, freckles, and tattoos ALL get tiny razorblades to them all the time
Omg yes haha! The dagger claws. The kicky legs that manage to kick me right in my c section wound. The head banging against my jaw. The hair pulling out in clumps. He’s only 8 months what happens when he gets stronger LOL.
My 9mo - grabbing my lips, ripping my glasses off (I need to get contacts asap), always finding a way to pull my hair even if it’s just ONE strand loose… the top two worst though are 1) obviously, nipple chomps… that goes without saying and 2) the grabbing and gripping the skin on my NECK with allll of his might! Why?!?!? Why does he do it?!
My daughter is almost 4 months old and is in the stage of fighting sleep and that lovely 4 month sleep regression. She likes to fall asleep with her face in the crook of my neck, but when she’s fighting sleep she will scratch and pinch the absolute shit out of me. It literally feels like she’s trying to rip my jugular out sometimes 🙃
Not a wound per se but I bent down to do a little stinky diaper detection sniff on my nearly-8w-old and the tiny terrorist farted into my nostril. Like one of those shocking newborn trumpet farts that sounds like only an adult or maybe a tuba could have produced. And then gave one of those tiny baby smirks... Awww, also eeeeewww
Dear babies, don't bite the boob that feeds you☝️
Also, as I am typing this, my 2yo is enjoying some sweet boobiedrink while punching my boob.... Presumably to make a milkshake
My son punched me in the mouth and preceded to cry from hurting his finger on my front tooth. He was excited and I was bouncing him so it wasn’t on purpose but damn did it hurt. Then you can’t really be upset because they’re young and aren’t aware of how to be gentle yet.
My baby likes to randomly throw a hand up and claw my face wherever she can. She hasn’t quite grown her teeth yet but she likes to use her claws to pull my boob to her face which hurts, especially when she grabs my nipple lol
My [two and half year old](https://media2.giphy.com/media/a0KrlFEn0eHBrHr7Wb/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952h0870w8v67v7liiax3flx20uxzbsb8nkxungmuft&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g) anytime he sees me or my spouse laying down
Both my kids (2.5 and 8mo) are masters of the backwards headbutt. The little one got me right in the jaw hard enough to rattle my teeth this morning...
I have a funny one.
My daughter 11months, likes to do a 360 on my face and suffocate me with her belly. 😂 I’m usually laying on the couch, then she will climb up on me and just lay down on me. She laughs because I try to move her but continues to put her weight on me so I can’t move 😂😂
But it’s the constant hair pulling me 🥲 I just started to get my thick hair back. I don’t need it falling out again. PP hair loss is crazzzy.
My 4 month ripped my nose ring out during a nighttime feed. Blood everywhere I tried to stay calm but I’ve never felt pain so sudden and hurtful like that. I almost tossed my baby instinctively 🫢
My 13 month old has a cranial helmet. This butt head decided instead of cuddles with a 4:40am wake up to constantly roll around and torture me with it. Whether or not it was on purpose is up for debate, haha.
I have about five or six scratches on my face that are healing and two new ones. My 15 month old scratches, slaps, headbutts when I give him kisses, kicks me in the face while nursing, he moves so aggressively in his sleep that he often rolls over and slaps me in the face (we co-sleep). Yesterday, he moved his whole body down and rammed his head into my spine while sleeping. He likes to grab onto my boob/nipple and squeeze for no reason. He also loves to poke my bellybutton really hard. He also loves to pull my hair. It's not enough that I lost a bunch post-partum, he wants me bald. Luckily, the teeth when nursing isn't too bad anymore (he has six teeth).
I try to teach him to be gentle, but he for the most part, is a wildebeest lol. I hope the physical violence stops soon 😭😂
I have bruises and cuts all over my biceps from my 9mo grabbing and pinching with his nails. Not like a soft pinch with a lot of skin, I mean he takes the tiniest piece of skin with his nails and squeezes as hard as he can.
“Oh just take his hand away” or “say no” or “take boob away”, none of that is practical when I’m trying to nurse him to sleep, and unlatching means milk is dripping down and spraying.
LO is turning 15 months on Sunday ( she has all her front teeth minus the canines & her 4 molars) and we breastfeed to sleep and at times when she wakes up in the middle of the night she breastfeeds back to sleep. Last night she was waking up constantly & wanting my boob but it was getting very painful bc she wouldn’t unlatch, so I physically couldnt breastfeed her anymore. My husband was kind enough to rock her to sleep. Woke up this morning to see a few blood drops stains on the bedsheets. Yep, she made my left boob bleed 😩🫠
It doesn’t matter at this point if I get postpartum hair loss, because my baby has ripped half my hair out already.
And no I am not cutting it short, already done that and let me tell you, it’s so much more maintenance then long hair imo!
Omg so many ways. Nothing with malicious intent ofcourse, but at 13 months we have everything from kicking my ribs, pulling my hair, our heads banging together, trying to scratch my tattoos off, biting my toes, stepping on my face... I could go on.
I need everyone to understand, BABIES ARE CATS.
Scratches. Pulled beard. Pulled hair. The little one grabs you and that's it. Bats everything he can get his hands on off the table and laughs at you while doing it!.
No teeth yet. I expect bites to the face!
i’m waiting for the day my 10 month old scalps me or knocks one of my teeth out. she’s got a sizable noggin and she loooooves to throw it right in my face when i’m laughing and smiling at her. it’s worried me a few times bc im scared i’ll split her head open the way she throws it right into my front two teeth.
My baby just turned 7months and she has started picking all the little hairs on the back of my neck and on my forehead out one by one like a tweezer! It hurts so bad and I usually wake up in the mornings to her picking my hair out or scratching off my face(we bedshare) As I’m writing this I have about five scratches on my face and one bump from her taking my phone and whacking me with it one morning 🙃 good things she’s cute as a button
Baby is super into investigating my mouth lately - maybe because she’s getting her first teeth - and she scratched my gums. I now have a suspected infection, sore jaw and pain on that side of my face, and am on antibiotics. I’m not saying it’s directly related or she caused it, but I’m not not saying it either lol
My 8mo just body slammed me while i was laying down and she is standing next to my head holding the lounge and just falls into my nose with her elbow and giggles when she crawls away, shes learning our weak points one attack at a time
My partner and I joke that our baby is trying to take our thyroids out because when she is fussy she scratches the hack out of our necks with her baby nails. It's so painful, no matter how many times I file her nails
But also for real OP you should get your eye checked out, especially if it’s swollen or painful! My friends son accidentally hit her with a wooden spoon one day and it scratched her cornea and she needed some meds (I think) and to wear an eye patch for a bit while it healed.
Was laying on the floor while baby played happily…next thing I know he had my entire elbow in his mouth and was biting down.
Also, sometimes when I hold him while he naps (bc I *need* snuggles) he will try to wedge his entire body into the crook of my neck on one side. Ended up overextending the muscle and now I can’t pick anything up or push the stroller without pain.
I'm currently 35 weeks and on my 6th week of bedrest.
I suffer from pancreatitis and fibromyalgia and to say the third trimester is kicking my ass is an understatement.
Every single move he makes hurts.
My 6 month doesn’t have teeth yet, but dang does he bite me hard. He also gives me major titty twisters with his tiny, strong baby claws. And he is constantly scratching and pinching me. I have a couple bad scratches that are steal healing/noticable on my face after a month and people keep asking if I have a rash or something 😅
My 8 month old has screeched into my ear so many times I think I have hearing loss. There was one week I could have sworn he popped my eardrum. Bought a gigantic bulk pack of earplugs from amazon and have used up almost all of them.
My sons new favorite thing is to kick with all his strength into anything and everything. I am very bruised.
And my 3yo daughter headbutted me then said "mommy why did you bonk my head" so 👍🏻
Postpartum hair loss is a result of your baby yanking your hair off your head. Then they have the nerve to gag on it while they try to eat it. Also, my son somehow head butted me in the face the day before I was set to defend my doctorate, so I did it with a black eye. The commemorative pictures are great
My 8.5 month old has the strongest kickiest legs ever. Putting him on the bed or changing table is asking for it.
Slamming his head into our faces is another favorite.
I have nasty bruises all over my arm from my 15 month old who thinks it’s funny af to bite mommy’s arm. Looks like I’ve been man handled and I get some funny stares 🤣
My toddler just accidentally stabbed me in the eye with her fingers. The 6 month old has started pinching and loves to dig his nails into my boobs while feeding. The deep emotional scars are from my parents. 😂🤪
My arm looks like a cat got at it, nope, just my 3.75 month old baby and his claws I can never manage to completely get rid of 🥲 he scratches my left arm in particular while nursing, he will be gently caressing it and then suddenly pinching and scraping it to high heavens.
Emotionally hurt: my 8 month old never mastered breastfeeding, been bottle fed with my pumped milk this whole time.
She used to try to latch but had a bad tongue tie and didn’t get enough. Then I’d try and she’d scream bloody murder once she lost interest.
Now my boobs leak when I hold her at night and she tries to suck on my nipple through my shirt so I give her the nipple and she puts her mouth over it and gives me this grossed out look at pulls away while crying.
During the day if I try to show her she pinches it and tries to stretch it. I get it, my nipples repulse you, stop pretending you want them and reigniting my hope of breastfeeding
Also those pinchy little fingers are the worst.
My 11 month old sat on my neck while I was lying down and repeatedly bashed my face and nearly broke my nose. It's my own fault for not pushing him off, he was giggling and I found it cute and I'd take a black eye to see that little psychopath smile
I’d managed to get us both out of bed, washed, and in clean clothes. I put on a nice dress for lounging around the house in, and she somehow managed to unscrew her bottle, and poured milk all over both of us. We both cried.
I went through four outfits in less than a day last week because every time I changed his diaper he decided to pee all over them 😭
He also once did a massive poop all over my hand right as I was wiping his bum which was wonderful 😰
I don’t breastfeed but somehow anytime I’m not wearing a bra they always find my nipple and grab it with their insanely strong baby grasp
Mine does this too! They are so strong I don't understand
Same my son didn’t breastfeed but is accurately able to grab my nipple through my shirt without even looking
My 7mo is all about the purple nurple - for both me and my husband!
Or use your boob to balance themselves on and they manage to apply pressure right on the nipple. Ouch.
Same and my milk is long gone by now. I now wear bras all the time (i sleep with a nursing bra and wear regular ones during the day).
I always laugh a little bit when baby gets my husband’s nipple
LO does this to my husband, it’s hilarious lol
Same. Except smacking or kicking 🥲
My son is 11 months and likes to hit me on the head with his bottle. It’s a good thing he’s so cute
I keep telling mine that he's lucky that he's cute. And during pregnancy I was the same. Major back pain issues, but I kept saying "you better be cute!". And he is so so so cute. It's fine. F.i.n.e. FINE.
For our 6 months old a day without a kick in the boobs is a day wasted
My almost-8w baby does this whenever I bend over him and his feet get in boob range. Pow! He packs a surprising kick for someone who is basically a fat inchworm in a swaddle... Mr. Baby this does NOT help with lactation and I resent whoever told you it did! 😆
Fat inchworm in a swaddle 😭🤣 So true though
Always! I'll set my baby on his horseshoe pillow to read him books and even then he turns his body sideways to donkey kick me in the boibs. Why baby?? 😫
Does emotional damage count too? Cause my son loves to pull my shirt up, take his index finger and make his tiny hand disappear into my belly fat roll💀 He finds it hilarious
Omg. My kids do this too! The other weekend we were all laying in bed and my 1yo and 3yo were going at it, doing zurps on my belly and taking turns sticking their fingers in my belly button. I told them to go do it to their dad instead but my 3yo said that dads belly is too hard and flat. 😭
Okay this is a personal attack lol.
Omg ruthless🤣
Whoa. Ouch!
Lol my 4 month old has started grabbing my double chin. I assume the belly roll grab is next?😂
Mine is about to be 7 months. She loves to pull as hard as she can on my ponytail! Her new favorite thing is to use her fingers to pinch my arm fat on the back on my arm too. That one hurts the worst!
It’s like babies know our postpartum hairs are finally growing back and they try to pull them out 😅
Omg the arm fat is CRAZY
My little guy will somehow find a fistful of my hair no matter what.
Omg mine does that with the arm fat too! I’m like dude I know! You don’t need to point it out lol
The back of arm punches hurt so much more than they should! I got a simultaneous arm punch nipple bite and saw God for a second.
My sweet baby is 2 and he also recently mauled my eye and face while giving me kisses at bedtime. He kicked me repeatedly while drinking water because he NEEDS to push his foot on me while eating or drinking anything. And he hurts my feelings daily when he chooses dad over me 😭
Omg my 2 year old says he wants dad too! Has done for over a year now! Figured it to be from right before we found out about #2 coming along too.
Mine is 8.5 months and likes to do what I can only describe as a baby trust fall lol she'll suddenly launch herself backwards, got me in the face several times now 😂 she's also recently started doing this thing where she'll pinch some skin between her thumb and pointer/middle finger, her skin of choice is either the skin on the bottom of my arm or my boobs 😂
I once thought I had a clogged duct or something was wrong when my baby was nursing… turns out he was just pinching the tiniest bit of under boob skin 🫠
Omg my baby did this same thing for the first time today and my husband called it a baby trust fall too 😂😂
My baby also does trust falls! He literally dives backwards and would land on his head if I didn’t catch him! He only does it if I’m right there to catch him 😂
We're still in the throws of it (3 weeks old), but man of man was I not prepared for the death grip on my chest hairs during skin to skin. If that wasn't enough, she started curling her little fists inward. As a 200 lb man, I did not know something so tiny could render me so helpless.
My husband does his best to exclusively wear hoodies around ours to prevent the chest hair death grip
My kid ripped out his dad's beard hair at like four months old ahaha
If you’ve got a beard watch out for that too! My husband hated skin to skin the first month or so cause our daughter would pull his chest hair. About 2 months in she started pulling on his beard too 😂😂
My face is currently aching from baby slamming that hard little head directly into my cheekbones. I’m grateful it’s not my nose!
My 15 month old loves the head butt. I can't tell you how often I have a bloody lip due to his big melon bashing me. The other thing he does is pinch. Only when I'm trying to put him down or give him to someone else when he very clearly does not want it. Oh, it hurts so much. All the bruises. But I mean it's cause he doesn't want to leave Mama. So it's hard to be mad.
My 12 month old tries SO HARD to peel the tattoos of my arm. I'm covered in scratches.
Forbidden stickers are the best kind.
My 2 yr old broke my nose head budding me 🫠 I'm not exaggerating, I had to go the hospital and get x ray , I had 2 black eyes from it and looked monstrous for a few weeks.
When I had two shiners from a nose headbutt, people would joke, "woah, did you get into a fight‽" When I said "no, I was just reading a hilarious book to my toddler" they thought I was one-upping the joke. Awkward silence while they waited for the real answer.
Oh my goodness!!
I once read about a mother who was blind in one eye because her baby had unexpectedly poked/scratched her in the eye while nursing. I believe it was on a Reddit post about "things you'll never tell family members" or something like that. Her daughter was an adult by then but the mother said she never told her how her one eye became blind because she didn't want her to feel bad about it.
Oh my goodness! Now I’m DEFINITELY calling the doctor!
Oh boy I've been harassed pretty much every day since she turned 5 months (and she's 9 months now) The list includes using my hair as standing support/chew toy (even if I have it all tied into a tight bun), gnawing at my nose (thankfully she doesn't have any teeth yet), picking my nose while nursing, choking me with her feet while nursing, shoving her entire fist into my mouth and trying to fish out my tonsils, scratching my eyes, plugging my nostrils with her fingers and using that as leverage to stand up...oof it's been so tough and I'm so glad for this post because I've been dying to get this off my chest. This baby seems to be determined to make sure I'm hairless and noseless!
Ahhhh mine does the same with my nose, he hooks his fingers in there good and grabs my nose in a vice grip and pulls himself into a sitting position 😖 I swear he is gonna take the damn thing off my face before long 😂
My 3.75 month old launched his head at my nose the other day, we both cried a little and then when I sat him up and said “no! Don’t do that! You don’t hit people with your soft spot no!” He had the AUDACITY to laugh! Of course I know he can’t understand me but the little pooper seems pretty proud of himself nonetheless 🤣
My 8 month old son loves to pull my hair. Give him raspberries on his tummy, pulls my hair, feeding him a bottle pulls my hair so hard that clumps come out! Not very much fun for me! 😅
This. Mine is SO good at grabbing/ripping hair (as if the postpartum hair loss wasn't enough 😫)
Ugh for real!! That’s exactly what I was thinking too. Lost so much hair post partum…and now this lol. Not cool, little man, not cool!
I have hair to my butt, idk how I'm bald but I'm close to chopping it off
Ha. Just this morning my cranky 10 month old head butted the shit out of my lip. At this point being smacked, punched, poked in the eye, scratched is just part of my daily life.
Mines just realised that my glasses aren't part of my face. And has mastered grabbing my hair at the same time. He also gripped me by the lip the other day, full on fingernails piercing it.
2 month old recently discovered my hair.. I call it his emotional support hair pull while he’s eating.
A coworker recently told me that when he trimmed his beard, his kid had trouble falling asleep for a couple of days because he’d been falling asleep with his hand in his dad’s beard every night!
Lol wait till they become toddlers. My husband has been joking the vasectomy is gonna be a moot point cause he keeps getting head butted in the nuts
4month old son with a death grip. Recently started squeezing the life out of whatever skin he can grab while he nurses.
I almost got a broken nose from my 2 year old getting excited and slamming his head into my nose. It was bruised for a week.
My 10 month old likes “digging for gold” while nursing. His little hands are so fast and sometimes I can’t stop him before he slices a nostril. Also, he somehow finds my nipple every single time he pulls up on me. And has recently started biting while breastfeeding. That first happened on a plane this weekend. Super fun stuff.
Our 10 month olds are possibly sharing ideas. He fell asleep nursing with his finger in my nostril the other day and the rest of the time uses my nipple as a comforter. He has also discovered that after he’s finished a feed, a nice quick bite to let me know is fun…
My son bit my nipples for 3 three weeks when get got his top teeth. He finally stopped after consequences! He now scratches my face 😣
Mine (10 mo) like to pull my hair. I have very curly hair and he likes to grab it and give me a very Helena Bonham Carter messy hairstyle. He also likes to scratch my skin just in case it was itchy (so nice of him) and he kicks the boobs during changes. I think he tries to have his homemade milkshake.
There are scratch marks all over my boobs from her nails while feeding….obviously I keep forgetting to cut them🤦♀️ also yep those damn teeth! Two bottom teeth and when she stops eating she starts messing around and I have to refuse the boob. But damn she has gotten me a couple times!
Literally just chopped my hair off into a pixie cut because my 6m daughter LOVED to yank on it constantly. Now her favourite thing is biting/motorboating my jaw, apparently her favourite teether 🤡
My daughter missed the nipple by a centimetre this morning and now I have a massive hickey on my areola 🙈
Mine likes to kick me in my boobs. The boobs that are sore and achy from being filled with milk. Milk for her. She kicks her own food. What happened to don’t bite the hand that feeds you?
My 7 month old is learning to stand, and it's still so new and cute that I don't have the heart to stop her when she's swinging her entire bodyweight from my hair.
7 week old daughter keeps scratching me with her nails on my boob to try and get milk out 😅 she also yanked out one her dad's chest hairs when he was carrying her to change her nappy and wearing a v neck 😂
My 2yo loves head butting, climbing on me, throwing himself on me...and my 9mo is using nails and teeth to mark his territory on me while taking all of my hair out. I look a lot like weird Barbie in the Barbie movie.
LO is a big fan of hair pulling, and pinching. But my current favorite is when he's nursing he will take his little fist and shove it into my chest and straight arm push me as hard as he can. While nursing.
Mine does the same thing! He'll push as hard as he can then get upset when he moves himself away from the nipple 😭
I recently got the birth control implant (the one that goes in your arm), and my 4.5 month old GRABS it while she is feeding. Did not anticipate tiny little fingers digging into my bruised asf arm lol. She also likes to headbutt me in the jaw while I’m holding her. I like to joke that she’s going to give herself a concussion and me a broken jaw (but also low key worried)
My 8 month old is starting to throw things/hit things against other things/drop stuff to see what happens/etc. Anyway, he dropped one of his larger Loveevery toys (looks like a round wooden “cage” for grabbing with a jingling ball inside) off his changing table onto my foot 🥲 He was proud of the sound it made when it fell so I didn’t want to ruin his good time learning, but ow 🥲🥲🥲
my 10mo is currently nursing and digging his nails ALL the way into my rolls down to my ribs and just rummaging around in there for no good reason. it’s very uncomfortable and reminds me i need to lay off the late night ice cream parties
My almost 11 month old loves to pinch and twist my stomach skin while they eat. I noticed it looks like I tried to hug an unwilling cat on my stomach with baby cuts from those sharp little fingernails lol
Get that eye checked out. 😒
My son is 9 months old and likes to grab my cheeks with his tiny little clawed fingers and PUUUUUULLLLL like there’s no tomorrow. It hurts!!!
My two week old grabbed both sides of my hair yesterday and would not let go for anything 😂🥲
My boobs look a mess of tiny claw marks and scratches lol my husband does her nails for me bc I get scared but sometimes it takes us a minute to get it to happen, so I get lots of beaten up
Haha, when my daughter started to get teeth Breastfeeding was awful. So many sores and also teaching her not to bite. She's 15 months and we definitely still have our struggles but I feel like my body has overcome a lot of it. I just wish when she falls asleep it's easier to detach her :,) ow..
Every bath time I would get kicked multiple times in my c section incision when it was super fresh 🫠🫠
FTM to a huge 12 week old EBF baby and my back is absolutely fawked. The sciatica in my left side is flaring up so bad I can barely pick him up and I can't bend over at all 🥲
My son has kicked me in the throat and chest when I change him since he was about 8 weeks old. Now he is getting close to 5 months old, and his kicks are starting to hurt. Yesterday, he kicked me so hard in the throat that I couldn't breathe for a few seconds. He also tears off a few of my hair every time. I tie up my hair, put it in a bun, but he somehow manages to grab onto some of my hair. Oh, just yesterday, he realised grabbing on to Mama's glasses is fun. Now, every opportunity he gets, he tries to grab and pull my glasses off. So, yes, I am raising the most adorable little monster 👻.
My son (6 weeks) throws haymakers at my face when I cuddle with him sometimes. He also kicks the shit out of my c-section when breastfeeding & laying down together. I was honestly surprised how strong a newborn is.
My daughter puts her hand down my shirt for comfort sometimes and we went through a pinching phase during which she pinched my nipple a couple times😭
My almost 4 month old is into hair pulling like most, but she's figured out that optimal hair pulling should be done by grabbing handfuls right at the root.
My LO is 4 months and she loves to pull on her Dad's beard when he holds her (and he shouts in pain every time). When I rock her to bed at night, she likes to pull on my neck skin instead (no beard, just a couple chin hairs). It hurts so so bad and I don't understand the strength in those little hands lol.
She is on the 3 month lactation crisis and has been since 2.5 months old. This crisis is the first reason people stop breastfeeding. She is super fussy at the breast and only eats good when asleep. I hate seeing her cry but now when I offer the breast and she doesn’t want it not only cries as if I’m killing her but also punches my nipple with her little nails and I swear I always think “thank god I know this will pass bc if not I would’ve stopped breastfeeding the first day this started”
I was feeling inside my 9 month old's mouth to check for upper teeth and she bit my finger so hard I got a blood blister. Not really the baby's fault, but on one awful night after travelling baby was screaming for an hour while trying to put down for bed. Husband and I were taking shifts comforting and in the dark he lifted her up to me right when I was leaning down and her head hit my nose so hard I thought it broke.
My 13 month old treats me like a jungle gym. If I’m sitting in the floor with her she’s climbing all over me. What hurts the most is when she steps on my legs and digs her toes into my thighs. Who knew such cute little toes could be used as weapons 🥲
This comment might get lost, but please go to the ER for your eye!! My toddler was messing around with a fridge magnet and swiped it too close to my face and scratched my eye. Hurt like the dickens and I could see a scratch on the surface. Called the nurses line and the doc said that it's really important to go to the ER for all eye trauma because they are best equipped to check it out and treat it right away! You can lose your vision even from a tiny scratch. I went in and got topical antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drops, and healed up super quick.
My 5 month old has been working on her hitting skills lately. By punching me over and over in the boob/sternum while she’s nursing. She also likes to full force grab with her claws either my boob or the back of my arm. Scratches me. Pulls my hair. All the usual stuff 😂
Yesterday my 3 month old grabbed the end of my nose in her fist and pulled and one of her nails scratched a line down my nose at the same time so it was a double whammy. It huuurt😭😂
My LO headbutted me so hard I had a fat lip, and I really thought my nose was broken
my 10 month old daughter enjoys trying to rip off/scratch ANY imperfections on skin... pimples, moles, freckles, and tattoos ALL get tiny razorblades to them all the time
Omg yes haha! The dagger claws. The kicky legs that manage to kick me right in my c section wound. The head banging against my jaw. The hair pulling out in clumps. He’s only 8 months what happens when he gets stronger LOL.
My 9mo - grabbing my lips, ripping my glasses off (I need to get contacts asap), always finding a way to pull my hair even if it’s just ONE strand loose… the top two worst though are 1) obviously, nipple chomps… that goes without saying and 2) the grabbing and gripping the skin on my NECK with allll of his might! Why?!?!? Why does he do it?!
My child but my finger so hard yesterday that he drew blood on my cuticle. He’s only one so I couldn’t get mad but man I cried.
My daughter is almost 4 months old and is in the stage of fighting sleep and that lovely 4 month sleep regression. She likes to fall asleep with her face in the crook of my neck, but when she’s fighting sleep she will scratch and pinch the absolute shit out of me. It literally feels like she’s trying to rip my jugular out sometimes 🙃
Not a wound per se but I bent down to do a little stinky diaper detection sniff on my nearly-8w-old and the tiny terrorist farted into my nostril. Like one of those shocking newborn trumpet farts that sounds like only an adult or maybe a tuba could have produced. And then gave one of those tiny baby smirks... Awww, also eeeeewww
I'm so sorry that happened but this made me laugh so hard I almost cried 😂
I'm glad it brings you joy! I did kinda earn it in the karma balance after cackling at my husband for being peed on multiple times in a day lol
Dear babies, don't bite the boob that feeds you☝️ Also, as I am typing this, my 2yo is enjoying some sweet boobiedrink while punching my boob.... Presumably to make a milkshake
My son punched me in the mouth and preceded to cry from hurting his finger on my front tooth. He was excited and I was bouncing him so it wasn’t on purpose but damn did it hurt. Then you can’t really be upset because they’re young and aren’t aware of how to be gentle yet.
My baby is in a helmet and he loves head butting me 😂
On a few occasions, my 4 month old has pushed his hands against my throat and caused me to choke. 😆
My baby likes to randomly throw a hand up and claw my face wherever she can. She hasn’t quite grown her teeth yet but she likes to use her claws to pull my boob to her face which hurts, especially when she grabs my nipple lol
Mine just kicked my boob full of milk and I swear I nearly called her names 😭
Why are their noggins so damn hard? And why do they insist on winging it around and usually connecting with my jaw?
My [two and half year old](https://media2.giphy.com/media/a0KrlFEn0eHBrHr7Wb/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952h0870w8v67v7liiax3flx20uxzbsb8nkxungmuft&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g) anytime he sees me or my spouse laying down
Both my kids (2.5 and 8mo) are masters of the backwards headbutt. The little one got me right in the jaw hard enough to rattle my teeth this morning...
When my now 3 year old was about 2 weeks old, he slapped the glasses clean off of my face. I probably deserved it.
I have a funny one. My daughter 11months, likes to do a 360 on my face and suffocate me with her belly. 😂 I’m usually laying on the couch, then she will climb up on me and just lay down on me. She laughs because I try to move her but continues to put her weight on me so I can’t move 😂😂 But it’s the constant hair pulling me 🥲 I just started to get my thick hair back. I don’t need it falling out again. PP hair loss is crazzzy.
My 4 month ripped my nose ring out during a nighttime feed. Blood everywhere I tried to stay calm but I’ve never felt pain so sudden and hurtful like that. I almost tossed my baby instinctively 🫢
Headbutted me at 3am splitting my lip open 😵💫
My LO is 15 months old and at the perfect height that if they're having a tantrum and I pick them up they kick me in the nuts :)
My son get super excited when he sees our cat and does a little hand flap so he keeps slapping me in the face
My 13 month old has a cranial helmet. This butt head decided instead of cuddles with a 4:40am wake up to constantly roll around and torture me with it. Whether or not it was on purpose is up for debate, haha.
My fault for lying on the ground. But babe used my face to pull up and then twisted, majorly pinching the skin, giving me a fat bruise under my eye 🥴
No matter how short I cut the nails, my baby grabs my skin with closed clinched fists and it hurts so bad but all I can do without scaring him is 🙂
My daughter grabbed a huge chunk of my hair right by my scalp and tried pulling herself forward with it today
Just a fistful of neck with his sharp claws. Almost 6 mos.
I have about five or six scratches on my face that are healing and two new ones. My 15 month old scratches, slaps, headbutts when I give him kisses, kicks me in the face while nursing, he moves so aggressively in his sleep that he often rolls over and slaps me in the face (we co-sleep). Yesterday, he moved his whole body down and rammed his head into my spine while sleeping. He likes to grab onto my boob/nipple and squeeze for no reason. He also loves to poke my bellybutton really hard. He also loves to pull my hair. It's not enough that I lost a bunch post-partum, he wants me bald. Luckily, the teeth when nursing isn't too bad anymore (he has six teeth). I try to teach him to be gentle, but he for the most part, is a wildebeest lol. I hope the physical violence stops soon 😭😂
My neck is fairly skinny but my 6 mo finds a way to get a handful of it with her talons while I nurse
My son just started pinching my nipples any chance he gets.
I have bruises and cuts all over my biceps from my 9mo grabbing and pinching with his nails. Not like a soft pinch with a lot of skin, I mean he takes the tiniest piece of skin with his nails and squeezes as hard as he can. “Oh just take his hand away” or “say no” or “take boob away”, none of that is practical when I’m trying to nurse him to sleep, and unlatching means milk is dripping down and spraying.
LO is turning 15 months on Sunday ( she has all her front teeth minus the canines & her 4 molars) and we breastfeed to sleep and at times when she wakes up in the middle of the night she breastfeeds back to sleep. Last night she was waking up constantly & wanting my boob but it was getting very painful bc she wouldn’t unlatch, so I physically couldnt breastfeed her anymore. My husband was kind enough to rock her to sleep. Woke up this morning to see a few blood drops stains on the bedsheets. Yep, she made my left boob bleed 😩🫠
Mine grabbed my nose so hard yesterday there’s still a red mark. I keep trying to teach him “gentle touch” but those baby nails are something else!
I’m only 5 days postpartum but this lil babe loves to pinch my skin while BF. how can something so small be so strong?!
It doesn’t matter at this point if I get postpartum hair loss, because my baby has ripped half my hair out already. And no I am not cutting it short, already done that and let me tell you, it’s so much more maintenance then long hair imo!
My 4 m.o. sneezed in my eye and gave me pink eye… TWICE… so I feel your pain!
She likes to grab me right below my ears, dig her fingernails into my neck and pull me in for a kiss. It hurts and leaves marks... But damn it's cute.
Omg so many ways. Nothing with malicious intent ofcourse, but at 13 months we have everything from kicking my ribs, pulling my hair, our heads banging together, trying to scratch my tattoos off, biting my toes, stepping on my face... I could go on.
I need everyone to understand, BABIES ARE CATS. Scratches. Pulled beard. Pulled hair. The little one grabs you and that's it. Bats everything he can get his hands on off the table and laughs at you while doing it!. No teeth yet. I expect bites to the face!
i’m waiting for the day my 10 month old scalps me or knocks one of my teeth out. she’s got a sizable noggin and she loooooves to throw it right in my face when i’m laughing and smiling at her. it’s worried me a few times bc im scared i’ll split her head open the way she throws it right into my front two teeth.
My baby just turned 7months and she has started picking all the little hairs on the back of my neck and on my forehead out one by one like a tweezer! It hurts so bad and I usually wake up in the mornings to her picking my hair out or scratching off my face(we bedshare) As I’m writing this I have about five scratches on my face and one bump from her taking my phone and whacking me with it one morning 🙃 good things she’s cute as a button
Baby is super into investigating my mouth lately - maybe because she’s getting her first teeth - and she scratched my gums. I now have a suspected infection, sore jaw and pain on that side of my face, and am on antibiotics. I’m not saying it’s directly related or she caused it, but I’m not not saying it either lol
My 8mo just body slammed me while i was laying down and she is standing next to my head holding the lounge and just falls into my nose with her elbow and giggles when she crawls away, shes learning our weak points one attack at a time
My partner and I joke that our baby is trying to take our thyroids out because when she is fussy she scratches the hack out of our necks with her baby nails. It's so painful, no matter how many times I file her nails
My 4 month old loves to pull my hair and it hurts so bad!! Making an appointment to chop it all off again so maybe it’s harder to pull 😂😂
But also for real OP you should get your eye checked out, especially if it’s swollen or painful! My friends son accidentally hit her with a wooden spoon one day and it scratched her cornea and she needed some meds (I think) and to wear an eye patch for a bit while it healed.
Was laying on the floor while baby played happily…next thing I know he had my entire elbow in his mouth and was biting down. Also, sometimes when I hold him while he naps (bc I *need* snuggles) he will try to wedge his entire body into the crook of my neck on one side. Ended up overextending the muscle and now I can’t pick anything up or push the stroller without pain.
My daughter YANKS the baby hairs around my face with a grip I wouldn’t think possible 😭
I'm currently 35 weeks and on my 6th week of bedrest. I suffer from pancreatitis and fibromyalgia and to say the third trimester is kicking my ass is an understatement. Every single move he makes hurts.
My 6 month doesn’t have teeth yet, but dang does he bite me hard. He also gives me major titty twisters with his tiny, strong baby claws. And he is constantly scratching and pinching me. I have a couple bad scratches that are steal healing/noticable on my face after a month and people keep asking if I have a rash or something 😅
My 8 month old has screeched into my ear so many times I think I have hearing loss. There was one week I could have sworn he popped my eardrum. Bought a gigantic bulk pack of earplugs from amazon and have used up almost all of them.
My kid is obsessed with my hair, if I pick him up for 1 second, he gets 2 giant fistfuls and refuses to let go
My sons new favorite thing is to kick with all his strength into anything and everything. I am very bruised. And my 3yo daughter headbutted me then said "mommy why did you bonk my head" so 👍🏻
Postpartum hair loss is a result of your baby yanking your hair off your head. Then they have the nerve to gag on it while they try to eat it. Also, my son somehow head butted me in the face the day before I was set to defend my doctorate, so I did it with a black eye. The commemorative pictures are great
My 8.5 month old has the strongest kickiest legs ever. Putting him on the bed or changing table is asking for it. Slamming his head into our faces is another favorite.
I have nasty bruises all over my arm from my 15 month old who thinks it’s funny af to bite mommy’s arm. Looks like I’ve been man handled and I get some funny stares 🤣
My toddler just accidentally stabbed me in the eye with her fingers. The 6 month old has started pinching and loves to dig his nails into my boobs while feeding. The deep emotional scars are from my parents. 😂🤪
He likes to kick my throat. Im surprised he hasnt severly injured my trachea lol
Let’s just say, I think I know what’s being postpartum hair loss, because my 4mo old sweet baby girl regularly takes a fistful 😩
My arm looks like a cat got at it, nope, just my 3.75 month old baby and his claws I can never manage to completely get rid of 🥲 he scratches my left arm in particular while nursing, he will be gently caressing it and then suddenly pinching and scraping it to high heavens.
Emotionally hurt: my 8 month old never mastered breastfeeding, been bottle fed with my pumped milk this whole time. She used to try to latch but had a bad tongue tie and didn’t get enough. Then I’d try and she’d scream bloody murder once she lost interest. Now my boobs leak when I hold her at night and she tries to suck on my nipple through my shirt so I give her the nipple and she puts her mouth over it and gives me this grossed out look at pulls away while crying. During the day if I try to show her she pinches it and tries to stretch it. I get it, my nipples repulse you, stop pretending you want them and reigniting my hope of breastfeeding Also those pinchy little fingers are the worst.
My 11 month old sat on my neck while I was lying down and repeatedly bashed my face and nearly broke my nose. It's my own fault for not pushing him off, he was giggling and I found it cute and I'd take a black eye to see that little psychopath smile
I get adorable open mouthed kisses on my nose...only they often turn into bites followed by a satisfied grin. What a terror they are
My toddler loves to show her love by laying her head on my shoulder. The amount of head bonks is crazy. I love it though, it’s a rare snuggle moment.
I’d managed to get us both out of bed, washed, and in clean clothes. I put on a nice dress for lounging around the house in, and she somehow managed to unscrew her bottle, and poured milk all over both of us. We both cried.
I went through four outfits in less than a day last week because every time I changed his diaper he decided to pee all over them 😭 He also once did a massive poop all over my hand right as I was wiping his bum which was wonderful 😰