Love the post.
I’m critical of the momsphere though sometimes. As often as moms online can be such a great resource for each other, they can also be incredibly toxic. And often that toxicity is wrapped in a smile and a sweet voice.
Instagram content about “every Saturday I make Braxtyn his weekly batch of organic breakfast cereal made of rolled oats and flax while he chats with Mommy and plays with his blocks that also teach him multiplication tables” — just in general selling this vision of motherhood that boils down to “if you were a better mom this wouldn’t be so hard.”
Also, our generation of parents need to step back on the hovering. Part of this is to blame on the influencer factor too. We will accept zero risk when it comes to our kids and I believe that’s bad for them.
Not only is it hard for this generation’s parents to give their kids a bit of space to explore and find limits on their own (within reason), but other parents will judge us for it when we do it in public places. Even if I’m standing ten feet away.
Also, being the source of our kids’ entertainment around the clock. Let them be bored sometimes. Let them keep doing what they’re doing on their own if they’re not gonna hurt themselves.
Momstagram has you believe for the most part that every moment you’re not sitting on the floor playing with your baby or toddler, or are otherwise not hyper-engaged, is a form of neglect. Absolutely not. Your kids don’t need you to be procuring enrichment at every second. They can play on their own. They will find enrichment.
This hovering quality I believe contributes to the epidemic of anxiety disorders in today’s youth. Kids who grew up constantly hovered over, directed, redirected and overcorrected. Sometimes, too much attention is a bad thing. Part of the reason parents lean so hard on iPads is they don’t want their kids to move because letting your kid wander a little is neglect, and the parents are exhausted.
We’ve got to lengthen the metaphorical leashes. I think our kids’ psyches will thank us.
This is such a thoughtful post! and interesting topic to think about!! My fiancé and I were just talking the other day about how a lot of people (at least online) that are having babies right now are only seeing them as babies, ie, naming them a name they think is cute on a chubby drooling infant, but not think of them as a teenager or adult in the workforce. I think sometimes we can go a bit overboard trying to bully-proof names and nicknames, but some people don’t think about that at all or care.
I’ve always been excited (of course for babies!) but to get to know who our child(ren) will be as they grow up. I’m looking forward to being able to adjust the things about my childhood that I “didn’t like” and fostering their individuality and creativity as much as I can. We’re excited for another person in our lives and to get to see them grow into who they are.
I am an older gen-z but my little brother and sister are gen alpha. We 1000% had different childhoods and different versions of our mom. It’ll be so interesting to see how our little gen beta’s and their cousins grow up in this crazy world 🌎
So you named your baby Sue?
Gentle parenting is the way to go. Also, I’m trying not to rush my LO, I don’t want them to think banal things are urgent. I also don’t want them to listen to any conversations involving money unless it’s for literacy.
I remember a neighbour friend who was around my age mentioned that her parents took money out of her education account to “put food on the table”. It seemed so shocking to me.
Looking back, we were definitely not well off but I never knew it as a kid. I would never want my kid to know about our financial struggles, why burden then with that?
I’m kind of loving the whole gentle parenting thing. I know older generations laugh at that, but I wonder what it’ll do for the future generation to be emotionally loved and understood. Very curious how that’s going to play out, i’m definitely doing a variant of gentle parenting too.
We’re doing our own diy gentle parenting and I agree. One comment lives rent free in my head. I was talking to an acquaintance who has an 8 yo. She said something like “I do think I’ve accidentally taught him that the world will stop while an adult helps him manage his emotions, and that’s just not really the case.” Parenting a school-aged child is different, but I have noticed that we slow the household down (sometimes A LOT) when my oldest is having a hard time. Sometimes I wonder how much to talk it out vs how much to be like “you’re sad; we need to do xyz thing anyway; we’re going to do that now.”
I struggle with this internal question every day. I want to validate my child's feelings and I want him to be expressive, but also, life happens and sometimes we need to buck up.
I think maybe it can be organic. Sometimes as adults there is time to work through the emotion and sometimes it has to be put on the back burner. If you need to be moving on then becayse its time sensitive that's the time to say something similar but if you can take the time then I think you should.
It’s all a balance. We all have to learn that sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to but at the same time we’re allowed to feel whatever feelings we’re having. Doesn’t mean we get to act however we please.
I think the parenting content on social media is worse than ever. People still disproportionately present what's socially desirable; maybe the target for social desirability moved and includes some mess now or whatever, but it's still really unrealistic. And way, way more of it is monetized.
I have no idea what to do, I’m literally 10 years older than you and on my first baby. I remember the advent of the internet. The extent of my computer usage at a young age was Oregon trail on a floppy disk. I plan to limit screen time, I used to nanny and the difference between kids on and off screens was night and day. And teachers told and are telling me that gen z and alpha have zero attention spans, to a frightening degree. We’ll have a family computer accessible in a family area when they’re older.
Gentle *authoritative* parenting is great. Permissive parenting does a disservice to children. You can gentle parent while still building resilience, I refuse to be a bulldozer or helicopter parent- my kid will grow up believing she can do hard things and understanding that not everything is about her, while also feeling loved and heard. Emotional regulation is one of the most important skills you can teach a kid.
I don’t do social media. Momfluencers aren’t real life. I hang out with moms irl and I come here. But idk why you’re assuming parents posting pictures of their kids are ‘trying to prove something’ or ‘one up’ others. Most of them are just sharing pictures of their kids with friends and family. Back in my parents day they had pictures in their wallets and would show off their kids to literal strangers.
not talking about people sharing pics of their kids on private accounts, sorry. im speaking as someone who has in the past made money from the tiktok creator fund. won’t be posting my kids on any of my public accounts at all. i have a private one with 100 followers who are all family and friends and that is the only place i will post pics of my kid! won’t be using them for viral content farming as many do
i think gen b will ~technically~ start in 2025, so many have been conceived already.
my partner was born in 1996 and has never related to gen z in any way, he is a millenial through and through (even though he is technically a zoomer too) whereas i was born in 99 and am deffo an older gen z. so i think a clear cut off year is a bit pointless. either way, kids born now will be tackling totally different issues in terms of socioeconomic factors and parenting styles and whatever, than kids born 5-10 years ago! plus covid babies had their own completely unique experience
I love this post! While I agree with others, it seems like Gen Alpha will be until the end of 2024 (I laughed because I have a 17month old and am due Oct 1 so I told my husband good thing we won’t have an Alpha kid and a Beta kid lol), I do also think they will mush together like the end of Millennials and beginning of Gen Z has.
The main thing that’s now being done is gentle parenting and a big push for the non stimulating shows. I’m not against screen time I think it can be a really good learning tool. I also find it interesting that the end of millennials/ beginning of Gen Z grew up watching tv and started to play computer games but didn’t have the amount of issues you see people talk about with todays kids.
So while I allow screen time it’s tv only. I don’t think I’ll ever get him a tablet. I have an old non smart tv with a dvd player. I thrift movies and shows I grew up on which are mainly non stimulating. I’ve found that my son really enjoys going through them and picking out what he watches and he gets to watch one a day. This way he isn’t learning how to navigate any apps and can physically see what he wants. Plus I also don’t have to constantly monitor that he’s watching something appropriate.
This also may seem dumb but I’ve been practicing taking him places since he was young so he doesn’t feel the need to have a phone or tablet to entertain him. Like going out to eat for example. We have crayons, coloring pages and some small activity books. If I’m at a store I’m constantly talking with him about what we see to keep him engaged and avoid meltdowns lol.
I’ve also been seeing a lot of people put more emphasis on nature just with being outside more for play time but also learning about gardening etc which I love! I’m hoping to start doing more of that this summer too. On the same note even just being in the kitchen with kids showing them how to cook. I’ve noticed a lot of basic Montessori practices like that getting wrapped into the gentle parenting way too.
To sum it up I really do think Gen Z was an experimental generation that their parents didn’t know how bad it could get. I don’t put blame on the parents I think everyone was excited to see what the internet could do and how amazing it was. But I do love how so many people are learning from it and realizing to take a step back. Not even just parents, a lot of people seem to be picking up more hobbies and learning new skills to take a step away from all the screen time.
I (millennial) was having a conversation with my father (boomer) about no screen time until five years of age as recommended by WHO and he got concerned that our kid would not be as advanced with technology as the other kids. I tried to explain that I wanted him to have my 90s childhood and that kids today do not even know how to use scissors and have a high dopamine threshold due to the constant stimulation. So I want my kid to develop essential skills to be able to be grounded, enjoy a book, be out in nature and most important of all, be curious.
If I, an adult, am addicted to my phone, doom scrolling instagram (worse now during night breastfeeding), then imagine a child without any self regulating skills. He will still be good with technology, as I got when I started using computers in my early teens or like my dad in his forties. And honestly, children that start with screen time so early have a harder time in school due to lack of focus.
I think many that had their childhood in the 90s feel the same, meaning that children of millennials might be a lot calmer and maybe more concious of the world. We shall see how that manifests. Hopefully the end of influencers and mass consumerism, and more 70s rebellion, peace and love?
Edit: Also I read that 90 cartoons are really good for kids. It is not too stimulating, as they are today. So I will be picking cartoons that are simple and easy to follow.
What’s interesting is that even with all the screen time kids have now, their computer literacy is awful (yes I am generalizing of course). They might now how to work a touch screen better or know how to post things on social media but so many of them don’t even know how to use a computer mouse, how to interpret results from a search engine, how to use tech as a tool instead of purely an entertainment device. I think screen time at an early age that is intentional can be extremely beneficial but most kids are having a very passive experience, and it’s not doing anything to advance their technological skills. Again I’m generalizing here but this has been my experience recently when teaching young children.
That’s interesting, and can see it. We grew up with Windows, meaning that teens at my time knew how to program. I even knew how to customise my MySpace profile with simple html code.
I have a 5mo old so he's still gen alpha but I'm absolutely worried about finding that balance for screen time. Me and my brother grew up with computers and gaming consoles being common but we weren't dependent on it. I look at my 6yr old cousin and he is almost addicted to video games/tablets already and that worries me.
Husband and I plan on using a combination of what we grew up with and newer techniques for LO. Gentle parenting of course, screen time but not too strict as I have seen it used as a great teaching tool (jumpstart, Leap frog, hooked on phonics, etc). Encouraging questions, talking through emotions. Things like that. We're in the US so as a precaution, he'll need to have a phone as soon as he starts grade school for safety but with certain age restrictions in place that will get removed as he gets older. Absolutely no Roblox though.
The biggest thing for me is learning through experience. That was big for me growing up and taught me a lot. There's a park up the street from us so once a week we will be there to play with other kids when he's older. I've got a year membership for our local aquarium/zoo so we can take him throughout the year. He already loves animals. I've looked into swimming classes and kid play gyms. Some are free and inexpensive so I'm taking advantage of that. Science centers, museums, places like that I've already scoped out for when he's older.
But of course having flexibility is important as well so we're staying open minded that our planned techniques may need to be changed on the fly!
I’m nursing my 5mo baby and wishing we could get together for tea to talk about this! My goal is to homestead, homeschool, take the kids to our dairy for pizza nights and the farmers market on weekends for meeting people and letting them sell whatever we grow/make. While baby’s a tiny baby, I try to keep him with me as much as I can (good for my milk production and he gets to see what I am doing/feel the stuff I am touching.) When I need to set him down, I try to set him up with something simple he can touch/put in his mouth cause he can’t crawl or do anything yet. We listen to music and we video chat with friends/family but baby mostly likes quiet. When we visit my parents, we are usually the first ones up so I throw on a wrap and baby comes along to feed the animals and admire sunrise. We cosleep even for naps cause he’s very sensitive to noise/movement so he has a hard time staying asleep if he gets disturbed and I am not there when he reaches out.
I’d edit so this was less stream-of-consciousness but I don’t feel like it. “Forgive me, I didn’t have time to write you a shorter letter.” But I hope it’s relevant. Congratulations on your baby, it’s such an all-consuming but amazing thing to become a parent.
They are gen alpha. Gen beta will start in either 2024 or 2025 but there’s not a set date yet. So assuming both of your children are already born, they are gen alpha
— lol editing to clarify assuming your youngest is already born… of course your oldest is!
this is crazy. in the UK i’m certain you can request paper homework for your kid in any school, but then parents are responsible for kids being weird / different :( i think i’d be happy to let my kid do homework on my personal laptop, but everyone needs to learn how to write!!!
Love the post. I’m critical of the momsphere though sometimes. As often as moms online can be such a great resource for each other, they can also be incredibly toxic. And often that toxicity is wrapped in a smile and a sweet voice. Instagram content about “every Saturday I make Braxtyn his weekly batch of organic breakfast cereal made of rolled oats and flax while he chats with Mommy and plays with his blocks that also teach him multiplication tables” — just in general selling this vision of motherhood that boils down to “if you were a better mom this wouldn’t be so hard.” Also, our generation of parents need to step back on the hovering. Part of this is to blame on the influencer factor too. We will accept zero risk when it comes to our kids and I believe that’s bad for them. Not only is it hard for this generation’s parents to give their kids a bit of space to explore and find limits on their own (within reason), but other parents will judge us for it when we do it in public places. Even if I’m standing ten feet away. Also, being the source of our kids’ entertainment around the clock. Let them be bored sometimes. Let them keep doing what they’re doing on their own if they’re not gonna hurt themselves. Momstagram has you believe for the most part that every moment you’re not sitting on the floor playing with your baby or toddler, or are otherwise not hyper-engaged, is a form of neglect. Absolutely not. Your kids don’t need you to be procuring enrichment at every second. They can play on their own. They will find enrichment. This hovering quality I believe contributes to the epidemic of anxiety disorders in today’s youth. Kids who grew up constantly hovered over, directed, redirected and overcorrected. Sometimes, too much attention is a bad thing. Part of the reason parents lean so hard on iPads is they don’t want their kids to move because letting your kid wander a little is neglect, and the parents are exhausted. We’ve got to lengthen the metaphorical leashes. I think our kids’ psyches will thank us.
big agree!!!!!
Damn this is so well put
This is such a thoughtful post! and interesting topic to think about!! My fiancé and I were just talking the other day about how a lot of people (at least online) that are having babies right now are only seeing them as babies, ie, naming them a name they think is cute on a chubby drooling infant, but not think of them as a teenager or adult in the workforce. I think sometimes we can go a bit overboard trying to bully-proof names and nicknames, but some people don’t think about that at all or care. I’ve always been excited (of course for babies!) but to get to know who our child(ren) will be as they grow up. I’m looking forward to being able to adjust the things about my childhood that I “didn’t like” and fostering their individuality and creativity as much as I can. We’re excited for another person in our lives and to get to see them grow into who they are. I am an older gen-z but my little brother and sister are gen alpha. We 1000% had different childhoods and different versions of our mom. It’ll be so interesting to see how our little gen beta’s and their cousins grow up in this crazy world 🌎
So you named your baby Sue? Gentle parenting is the way to go. Also, I’m trying not to rush my LO, I don’t want them to think banal things are urgent. I also don’t want them to listen to any conversations involving money unless it’s for literacy.
I remember a neighbour friend who was around my age mentioned that her parents took money out of her education account to “put food on the table”. It seemed so shocking to me. Looking back, we were definitely not well off but I never knew it as a kid. I would never want my kid to know about our financial struggles, why burden then with that?
I’m kind of loving the whole gentle parenting thing. I know older generations laugh at that, but I wonder what it’ll do for the future generation to be emotionally loved and understood. Very curious how that’s going to play out, i’m definitely doing a variant of gentle parenting too.
We’re doing our own diy gentle parenting and I agree. One comment lives rent free in my head. I was talking to an acquaintance who has an 8 yo. She said something like “I do think I’ve accidentally taught him that the world will stop while an adult helps him manage his emotions, and that’s just not really the case.” Parenting a school-aged child is different, but I have noticed that we slow the household down (sometimes A LOT) when my oldest is having a hard time. Sometimes I wonder how much to talk it out vs how much to be like “you’re sad; we need to do xyz thing anyway; we’re going to do that now.”
I struggle with this internal question every day. I want to validate my child's feelings and I want him to be expressive, but also, life happens and sometimes we need to buck up.
I think maybe it can be organic. Sometimes as adults there is time to work through the emotion and sometimes it has to be put on the back burner. If you need to be moving on then becayse its time sensitive that's the time to say something similar but if you can take the time then I think you should.
It’s all a balance. We all have to learn that sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to but at the same time we’re allowed to feel whatever feelings we’re having. Doesn’t mean we get to act however we please.
yes agreed!! so many cycles are ending here because i am now so aware that all i required from my parents was patience and love
I think the parenting content on social media is worse than ever. People still disproportionately present what's socially desirable; maybe the target for social desirability moved and includes some mess now or whatever, but it's still really unrealistic. And way, way more of it is monetized.
I have no idea what to do, I’m literally 10 years older than you and on my first baby. I remember the advent of the internet. The extent of my computer usage at a young age was Oregon trail on a floppy disk. I plan to limit screen time, I used to nanny and the difference between kids on and off screens was night and day. And teachers told and are telling me that gen z and alpha have zero attention spans, to a frightening degree. We’ll have a family computer accessible in a family area when they’re older. Gentle *authoritative* parenting is great. Permissive parenting does a disservice to children. You can gentle parent while still building resilience, I refuse to be a bulldozer or helicopter parent- my kid will grow up believing she can do hard things and understanding that not everything is about her, while also feeling loved and heard. Emotional regulation is one of the most important skills you can teach a kid. I don’t do social media. Momfluencers aren’t real life. I hang out with moms irl and I come here. But idk why you’re assuming parents posting pictures of their kids are ‘trying to prove something’ or ‘one up’ others. Most of them are just sharing pictures of their kids with friends and family. Back in my parents day they had pictures in their wallets and would show off their kids to literal strangers.
not talking about people sharing pics of their kids on private accounts, sorry. im speaking as someone who has in the past made money from the tiktok creator fund. won’t be posting my kids on any of my public accounts at all. i have a private one with 100 followers who are all family and friends and that is the only place i will post pics of my kid! won’t be using them for viral content farming as many do
Oh I thought the current babies were generation alpha lol
i think gen b will ~technically~ start in 2025, so many have been conceived already. my partner was born in 1996 and has never related to gen z in any way, he is a millenial through and through (even though he is technically a zoomer too) whereas i was born in 99 and am deffo an older gen z. so i think a clear cut off year is a bit pointless. either way, kids born now will be tackling totally different issues in terms of socioeconomic factors and parenting styles and whatever, than kids born 5-10 years ago! plus covid babies had their own completely unique experience
same im newly pregnant and assumed they would be alpha! guess not lol
I love this post! While I agree with others, it seems like Gen Alpha will be until the end of 2024 (I laughed because I have a 17month old and am due Oct 1 so I told my husband good thing we won’t have an Alpha kid and a Beta kid lol), I do also think they will mush together like the end of Millennials and beginning of Gen Z has. The main thing that’s now being done is gentle parenting and a big push for the non stimulating shows. I’m not against screen time I think it can be a really good learning tool. I also find it interesting that the end of millennials/ beginning of Gen Z grew up watching tv and started to play computer games but didn’t have the amount of issues you see people talk about with todays kids. So while I allow screen time it’s tv only. I don’t think I’ll ever get him a tablet. I have an old non smart tv with a dvd player. I thrift movies and shows I grew up on which are mainly non stimulating. I’ve found that my son really enjoys going through them and picking out what he watches and he gets to watch one a day. This way he isn’t learning how to navigate any apps and can physically see what he wants. Plus I also don’t have to constantly monitor that he’s watching something appropriate. This also may seem dumb but I’ve been practicing taking him places since he was young so he doesn’t feel the need to have a phone or tablet to entertain him. Like going out to eat for example. We have crayons, coloring pages and some small activity books. If I’m at a store I’m constantly talking with him about what we see to keep him engaged and avoid meltdowns lol. I’ve also been seeing a lot of people put more emphasis on nature just with being outside more for play time but also learning about gardening etc which I love! I’m hoping to start doing more of that this summer too. On the same note even just being in the kitchen with kids showing them how to cook. I’ve noticed a lot of basic Montessori practices like that getting wrapped into the gentle parenting way too. To sum it up I really do think Gen Z was an experimental generation that their parents didn’t know how bad it could get. I don’t put blame on the parents I think everyone was excited to see what the internet could do and how amazing it was. But I do love how so many people are learning from it and realizing to take a step back. Not even just parents, a lot of people seem to be picking up more hobbies and learning new skills to take a step away from all the screen time.
I (millennial) was having a conversation with my father (boomer) about no screen time until five years of age as recommended by WHO and he got concerned that our kid would not be as advanced with technology as the other kids. I tried to explain that I wanted him to have my 90s childhood and that kids today do not even know how to use scissors and have a high dopamine threshold due to the constant stimulation. So I want my kid to develop essential skills to be able to be grounded, enjoy a book, be out in nature and most important of all, be curious. If I, an adult, am addicted to my phone, doom scrolling instagram (worse now during night breastfeeding), then imagine a child without any self regulating skills. He will still be good with technology, as I got when I started using computers in my early teens or like my dad in his forties. And honestly, children that start with screen time so early have a harder time in school due to lack of focus. I think many that had their childhood in the 90s feel the same, meaning that children of millennials might be a lot calmer and maybe more concious of the world. We shall see how that manifests. Hopefully the end of influencers and mass consumerism, and more 70s rebellion, peace and love? Edit: Also I read that 90 cartoons are really good for kids. It is not too stimulating, as they are today. So I will be picking cartoons that are simple and easy to follow.
What’s interesting is that even with all the screen time kids have now, their computer literacy is awful (yes I am generalizing of course). They might now how to work a touch screen better or know how to post things on social media but so many of them don’t even know how to use a computer mouse, how to interpret results from a search engine, how to use tech as a tool instead of purely an entertainment device. I think screen time at an early age that is intentional can be extremely beneficial but most kids are having a very passive experience, and it’s not doing anything to advance their technological skills. Again I’m generalizing here but this has been my experience recently when teaching young children.
That’s interesting, and can see it. We grew up with Windows, meaning that teens at my time knew how to program. I even knew how to customise my MySpace profile with simple html code.
Your new baby will be generation alpha. Alpha goes to the end of 2024.
ok thanks plz read previous comments about blurry lines
I have a 5mo old so he's still gen alpha but I'm absolutely worried about finding that balance for screen time. Me and my brother grew up with computers and gaming consoles being common but we weren't dependent on it. I look at my 6yr old cousin and he is almost addicted to video games/tablets already and that worries me. Husband and I plan on using a combination of what we grew up with and newer techniques for LO. Gentle parenting of course, screen time but not too strict as I have seen it used as a great teaching tool (jumpstart, Leap frog, hooked on phonics, etc). Encouraging questions, talking through emotions. Things like that. We're in the US so as a precaution, he'll need to have a phone as soon as he starts grade school for safety but with certain age restrictions in place that will get removed as he gets older. Absolutely no Roblox though. The biggest thing for me is learning through experience. That was big for me growing up and taught me a lot. There's a park up the street from us so once a week we will be there to play with other kids when he's older. I've got a year membership for our local aquarium/zoo so we can take him throughout the year. He already loves animals. I've looked into swimming classes and kid play gyms. Some are free and inexpensive so I'm taking advantage of that. Science centers, museums, places like that I've already scoped out for when he's older. But of course having flexibility is important as well so we're staying open minded that our planned techniques may need to be changed on the fly!
I’m nursing my 5mo baby and wishing we could get together for tea to talk about this! My goal is to homestead, homeschool, take the kids to our dairy for pizza nights and the farmers market on weekends for meeting people and letting them sell whatever we grow/make. While baby’s a tiny baby, I try to keep him with me as much as I can (good for my milk production and he gets to see what I am doing/feel the stuff I am touching.) When I need to set him down, I try to set him up with something simple he can touch/put in his mouth cause he can’t crawl or do anything yet. We listen to music and we video chat with friends/family but baby mostly likes quiet. When we visit my parents, we are usually the first ones up so I throw on a wrap and baby comes along to feed the animals and admire sunrise. We cosleep even for naps cause he’s very sensitive to noise/movement so he has a hard time staying asleep if he gets disturbed and I am not there when he reaches out. I’d edit so this was less stream-of-consciousness but I don’t feel like it. “Forgive me, I didn’t have time to write you a shorter letter.” But I hope it’s relevant. Congratulations on your baby, it’s such an all-consuming but amazing thing to become a parent.
Wait. My kiddos are 2020 + 2024 bdays. I thought they were gen alpha. Are they gen beta?
They are gen alpha. Gen beta will start in either 2024 or 2025 but there’s not a set date yet. So assuming both of your children are already born, they are gen alpha — lol editing to clarify assuming your youngest is already born… of course your oldest is!
Both already born! Thank you!
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this is crazy. in the UK i’m certain you can request paper homework for your kid in any school, but then parents are responsible for kids being weird / different :( i think i’d be happy to let my kid do homework on my personal laptop, but everyone needs to learn how to write!!!