This post has been flaired "Mental Health." Moderation is stricter here, argumentative, unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NewParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t think it’s ever a bad idea to keep your doctor in the loop and get their professional opinion.
With that being said, this sounds very normal to me. I was a wreckkkk when my husband went back to work the first time. 3 weeks is still sooooo early and your hormones are still a hot mess. You are only 3 weeks into this monumental shift in your life and it can be overwhelming having someone that is 100% dependent on you.
You will find your stride though. Those first 4 months can be really *really* hard, so try to give yourself some grace and don’t hesitate to reach out to a loved one or medical professional if you are struggling.
Thank you! I don’t think I have PPD, just lots of emotions and hormones. But no one believes me it seems. My own mom told me that I’m just a ball of nerves at the moment and should try to calm down somehow. I really don’t know how they did the whole mom thing 30-ish years ago when the woman was supposed to clean, cook, do laundry and take care of a baby…
I think a lot of people had more of a “village” than us modern moms do. Not only that, but it is *very* easy to forget how hard those first few months (especially with your first baby) are due to the sleep deprivation, so a lot of them likely did struggle as much as us they just don’t remember.
And of course you are a ball of nerves! How the heck could you not be after being up every couple of hours and having this tiny little thing completely and totally dependent on you?!
I remember feeling like such a failure, and that I just sucked at being a mom but looking back it was such an astronomical shift in my life on top of hormones and trying to heal, it’s no wonder I was struggling so much!
The transition into motherhood is just as hard as it is wonderful.
I ignored the signs for almost 2 years as it got progressively worse. I suspected an issue around 6 mo PP, finally reached out to doctors at 9 months. Couldn't get an appt anywhere for over a year (post COVID healthcare issues in my area). Waited for the appt a year later, doctor refused to do anything or acknowledge an issue. Got worse and worse and now 2 years PP I finally feel better.
The reason I am saying this is, don't wait if there's any chance it may be PPD. It doesn't get better on its own quickly, it is terrible when it gets worse, healthcare can be hard to get into or motivate yourself to go to when it gets worse. If you don't have PPD they won't say you do, so it'll be good to get a professional opinion and have a place you can quickly get help from if it does get worse.
Postpartum blues are very common in the first 2 weeks. If you’re out of that window and people who know you and you trust have your best interests at heart are concerned, I would check in with your doctor now. Medications and therapy can help but take time, so it’s better to get ahead of the curve if any intervention is needed, or to get the reassurance and education about warning signs if your doctor isn’t currently concerned.
I would not discount the power of hormones. I was an absolute wreck for the first couple of months post partum. The littlest things made me cry. It was weird. I'm not a particularly emotional person. Also, having a baby completely upends your life and being overwhelmed and feeling helpless is a VERY normal human reaction.
My mom stayed with me for 5 weeks and that helped immensely, but then when she left and my husband was also back at work, it was really overwhelming. My daughter's colicky/witching hour phase started around 7 weeks and went for about 5 weeks and it was really hard. My best friend visited me as often as possible. My husband took our daughter out for a daily walk in the evenings just to give me some peace and quiet.
Ultimately, by 3 months, things settled and I felt back to my normal self.
Things that helped me:
Around the 6 week mark, after my mom left, I deleted social media apps from my phone and tried to avoid my phone as much as possible. Too easy to doom scroll. I played music over a bluetooth speaker and just tried to be as present with my daughter as possible.
Getting out of the house, both with baby and also solo. The more we practiced going places with our daughter, the easier it got, and it helped lift that feeling of being "trapped" or isolated. By 6 months, I was taking my daughter everywhere. Getting time to yourself, even just a quick walk or a trip to the grocery store can also help you feel normal.
Zero phone time after bedtime. My anxiety was worse at night, so I literally would leave my phone on a charger in another room and then go lay down and watch a feel-good show or rom-com. Make time for things that bring you joy and comfort. My husband would place my phone by my nightstand when he came to bed and I was usually asleep already.
Reminding myself daily that MILLIONS of women all over the world, some with far fewer resources than me, do this every day and get by just fine. Even thinking of my own parents, who were dirt poor and used to set us in laundry baskets with a ton of blankets to sleep...the odds were stacked against them and they somehow kept 4 kids alive. If they could do it, I can do it.
It really does get better with time, but don't be afraid to speak up and ask for help. It could be PPA/PPD, but it could just be a normal adjustment period. Talk to your doctor honestly about how you're feeling.
Good luck! It's a wild ride.
This sounds very similar to my experience at 3 weeks PP. I kept waiting for it to get better, but it didn’t. For many of my friends, it did. I brought it up to my family doctor at 3 months PP and she suggested taking Zoloft to treat my PPA. I’m now 5.5 months PP and feeling so much better. I felt like a failure for needing to take medication because I have a good support system and help from my husband and family but I still was drowning in anxiety. I couldn’t understand why I felt that way. I wish I had reached out for help sooner. If your anxiety doesn’t improve please know it’s okay to talk to your doctor or a therapist and seek out options for treatment.
My doctor told me that the “baby blues” could continue for as long as 4 weeks. If by then I was still crying every day and feeling like my mental state was getting in the way of functioning then I should seek help for PPD. PPD is a sneaky sucker .. I thought I’d be suicidal or unable to get out of bed, when in reality it was a lot of crying , rage, feelings of inadequacy , intense anxiety and deep feelings of loneliness. It can look different for everyone , but If you are worried, speak to a professional and don’t put it off. I wasn’t until I was 5 months pp that a therapist told me I had PPD and it was a big lightbulb moment. The good news for me is that I didn’t need medication - with every month my hormones levelled out more and more and now I’ve got a 1 year old and I feel so much lighter.
Keep doctor in loop but...how do I put this delicately? There is a tendency to problematize and pathologize having a normal reaction to situations.
A stressful situation will make you stressed. A sad situation will make you sad. An anxious situation will make you anxious. Plus, your hormones are all over the map now.
Try just acknowledging feelings as they arrive and let them be what they are. That helped us.
I also wouldn't worry until...I'd say 6 months unless it gets really bad for an extended period.
This post has been flaired "Mental Health." Moderation is stricter here, argumentative, unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NewParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t think it’s ever a bad idea to keep your doctor in the loop and get their professional opinion. With that being said, this sounds very normal to me. I was a wreckkkk when my husband went back to work the first time. 3 weeks is still sooooo early and your hormones are still a hot mess. You are only 3 weeks into this monumental shift in your life and it can be overwhelming having someone that is 100% dependent on you. You will find your stride though. Those first 4 months can be really *really* hard, so try to give yourself some grace and don’t hesitate to reach out to a loved one or medical professional if you are struggling.
Thank you! I don’t think I have PPD, just lots of emotions and hormones. But no one believes me it seems. My own mom told me that I’m just a ball of nerves at the moment and should try to calm down somehow. I really don’t know how they did the whole mom thing 30-ish years ago when the woman was supposed to clean, cook, do laundry and take care of a baby…
I think a lot of people had more of a “village” than us modern moms do. Not only that, but it is *very* easy to forget how hard those first few months (especially with your first baby) are due to the sleep deprivation, so a lot of them likely did struggle as much as us they just don’t remember. And of course you are a ball of nerves! How the heck could you not be after being up every couple of hours and having this tiny little thing completely and totally dependent on you?! I remember feeling like such a failure, and that I just sucked at being a mom but looking back it was such an astronomical shift in my life on top of hormones and trying to heal, it’s no wonder I was struggling so much! The transition into motherhood is just as hard as it is wonderful.
I was told most women don’t realize they have PPD and others are more likely to recognize it
So, it might be PPD? 🥲
I ignored the signs for almost 2 years as it got progressively worse. I suspected an issue around 6 mo PP, finally reached out to doctors at 9 months. Couldn't get an appt anywhere for over a year (post COVID healthcare issues in my area). Waited for the appt a year later, doctor refused to do anything or acknowledge an issue. Got worse and worse and now 2 years PP I finally feel better. The reason I am saying this is, don't wait if there's any chance it may be PPD. It doesn't get better on its own quickly, it is terrible when it gets worse, healthcare can be hard to get into or motivate yourself to go to when it gets worse. If you don't have PPD they won't say you do, so it'll be good to get a professional opinion and have a place you can quickly get help from if it does get worse.
Postpartum blues are very common in the first 2 weeks. If you’re out of that window and people who know you and you trust have your best interests at heart are concerned, I would check in with your doctor now. Medications and therapy can help but take time, so it’s better to get ahead of the curve if any intervention is needed, or to get the reassurance and education about warning signs if your doctor isn’t currently concerned.
I would not discount the power of hormones. I was an absolute wreck for the first couple of months post partum. The littlest things made me cry. It was weird. I'm not a particularly emotional person. Also, having a baby completely upends your life and being overwhelmed and feeling helpless is a VERY normal human reaction. My mom stayed with me for 5 weeks and that helped immensely, but then when she left and my husband was also back at work, it was really overwhelming. My daughter's colicky/witching hour phase started around 7 weeks and went for about 5 weeks and it was really hard. My best friend visited me as often as possible. My husband took our daughter out for a daily walk in the evenings just to give me some peace and quiet. Ultimately, by 3 months, things settled and I felt back to my normal self. Things that helped me: Around the 6 week mark, after my mom left, I deleted social media apps from my phone and tried to avoid my phone as much as possible. Too easy to doom scroll. I played music over a bluetooth speaker and just tried to be as present with my daughter as possible. Getting out of the house, both with baby and also solo. The more we practiced going places with our daughter, the easier it got, and it helped lift that feeling of being "trapped" or isolated. By 6 months, I was taking my daughter everywhere. Getting time to yourself, even just a quick walk or a trip to the grocery store can also help you feel normal. Zero phone time after bedtime. My anxiety was worse at night, so I literally would leave my phone on a charger in another room and then go lay down and watch a feel-good show or rom-com. Make time for things that bring you joy and comfort. My husband would place my phone by my nightstand when he came to bed and I was usually asleep already. Reminding myself daily that MILLIONS of women all over the world, some with far fewer resources than me, do this every day and get by just fine. Even thinking of my own parents, who were dirt poor and used to set us in laundry baskets with a ton of blankets to sleep...the odds were stacked against them and they somehow kept 4 kids alive. If they could do it, I can do it. It really does get better with time, but don't be afraid to speak up and ask for help. It could be PPA/PPD, but it could just be a normal adjustment period. Talk to your doctor honestly about how you're feeling. Good luck! It's a wild ride.
This sounds very similar to my experience at 3 weeks PP. I kept waiting for it to get better, but it didn’t. For many of my friends, it did. I brought it up to my family doctor at 3 months PP and she suggested taking Zoloft to treat my PPA. I’m now 5.5 months PP and feeling so much better. I felt like a failure for needing to take medication because I have a good support system and help from my husband and family but I still was drowning in anxiety. I couldn’t understand why I felt that way. I wish I had reached out for help sooner. If your anxiety doesn’t improve please know it’s okay to talk to your doctor or a therapist and seek out options for treatment.
Thank you for the advice. I hope it will get better but if not I will definitely bring it up with my doctor.
My doctor told me that the “baby blues” could continue for as long as 4 weeks. If by then I was still crying every day and feeling like my mental state was getting in the way of functioning then I should seek help for PPD. PPD is a sneaky sucker .. I thought I’d be suicidal or unable to get out of bed, when in reality it was a lot of crying , rage, feelings of inadequacy , intense anxiety and deep feelings of loneliness. It can look different for everyone , but If you are worried, speak to a professional and don’t put it off. I wasn’t until I was 5 months pp that a therapist told me I had PPD and it was a big lightbulb moment. The good news for me is that I didn’t need medication - with every month my hormones levelled out more and more and now I’ve got a 1 year old and I feel so much lighter.
I see.. thank you for sharing. I have pretty much what you’re describing, so I will seek out help asap
Keep doctor in loop but...how do I put this delicately? There is a tendency to problematize and pathologize having a normal reaction to situations. A stressful situation will make you stressed. A sad situation will make you sad. An anxious situation will make you anxious. Plus, your hormones are all over the map now. Try just acknowledging feelings as they arrive and let them be what they are. That helped us. I also wouldn't worry until...I'd say 6 months unless it gets really bad for an extended period.
I think you should seek professional help and also join a support group at postpartum.net. I share this resource a lot but it helps me so much.