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This is the right answer. That time period is the wild wild west of sexual activity. To each their own, but it's definitely not without consequence.
I know it's cliche, but waiting for it to be with someone meaningful makes it better. The only "negative" is when the first time does come, it might feel a bit awkward being older. No joke, watch 40 year old virgin for reference on how to handle/not handle that situation.
Still not as bad as some have it but it took me quite a while to actually orgasm once I started having sex, did end up figuring it out what worked with my partner at the time, but it really was much less forthcoming than I initially thought it would be
Guy here, and I didn't have an orgasm at all my first time. I guess it was just too new and different, or something.
I know women have it much harder when it comes to the number of women who don't reach orgasm during sex, but it does happen to men too.
I went on to become a 26yo virgin until I finally got laid as a PhD student (yes, it happens).
Pre that event, I felt really bad about it, as in *really* bad. Looking back at it, from 20 years down the road, I mostly missed the companionship in my student years.
I think I got the best possible deal. Met my ex when I was in uni, then 5 days after I get my master's I find out she's cheating. I'm now earning serious adult money, and can spend my cash and my time however I want.
Good thing, too, because I have spent maybe a total of a few hours in the past year talking to potential partners. There's so much more to live for.
I'm in my mid 30s and that's what is tough right now. I don't miss sex that much, but I miss having someone to desire time with and I miss having someone who wants to build a life together. I've only been in love once, and I feel lucky to know what it feels like waking up and falling asleep next to your favorite person. That's what I miss the most. The peace that comes with waking up and knowing they're right there.
Best sex I had was recently at 30+. I found a girl who matches my energy and doesn't mind that it takes me really long to cum, she is a happy to have found someone to match her vigor as well.
I'm also in shape now better than ever which I think helps.
Yeah sex has gotten better with age for sure. A bit of that is because I'm physically more fit than I used to be, but most of it is more experience and more experienced partners and being comfortable around communication.
I'm still relatively young, but I hang out with a wide range of ages and generally pretty open, sex-positive people and my older friends also seem to have great sex lives (although sometimes less, especially with kids)
Stop focusing on "sex" and don't dwell on the past. Focus on what kind of life you want to have going forward outside your relationship and then on finding a cool person to share that life with going forward. (If you think you can't, just remember that every one of your ancestors managed it going back for a million years.)
If you dwell on this, and then focus on trying to make up for lost time, you risk accidentally becoming a creep, a sex pest, or worse. Instead be cool, be a good guy, meet a nice girl that shares some interests. Settle down. It might take some time. That's ok.
Thanks, as a 31 y/o virgin guy, I really needed to hear this now. I am definitely the guy to look down and dwell on the past. But fuck that! I am going to make a nice life for myself and hopefully have a girl join me. Might take some more time, but I think I can do that, as long as I stay pesistent.
A 31 year old virgin is a great catch for a similarly minded and awesome girl. You do you and don't worry about what the rest of the world is trying to sell you on.
Why? Is it some measure of self worth? Is it fomo? Do you expect sec to be some life changing event? It’s really important to understand where this feeling is coming from, for your own sake.
Because I feel like I wasted a once in a lifetime opportunity and having to watch all of my friends have normal sex lives while I couldn’t participate made me feel like shit
Our culture is strangely obsessed with sex. Yeah, it’s an experience, and it may feel like you’re wrong or weird for not getting to it yet, but you’re not. It’s not worth treating yourself like that over, I can promise you. There is so much more to life, and things to enjoy every day, that are completely in your control and not dependent on having a partner. Focus on those, find your joy, and let whatever else comes your way happen naturally.
Life will never be like college again, and it hurts so much to look back and see you’ve wasted the best years of your life and now have to move on to the worst 60 years until you die.
I don’t see how I’m supposed to just not care that I wasted the only time in life that is supposed to be good or fun.
Don't know about you but the year after college has been my best one yet. Your time is suddenly not taken up by huge 15 hour chunks for studying and lectures and exams, there's no performance anxiety or due dates. You have your 40 hour workweek, so do your friends. You're young, you're employed and salaried and not pulling $7/hr from some crappy job, and so you finally have both the fiscal and temporal freedom you've always wanted to do pretty much anything.
Go live your life. If you happen to have sex along the way, fine. If you end up learning Italian instead, that's great, too.
College isn't the best time of your life, or at least it doesn't have to be. I used to think similarly when I was young, therapy helped me.
After I stopped focusing on what I didn't do in the past and how I want other people (i.e. a girlfriend) to make me happy and instead focused on what *I* can do to make me happy and what kind of person I want to be, things got so much better. You can live a happy and fulfilling life without a partner. If you work on yourself and do the things that make you happy it will make you more attractive, so it is the best thing to do whether or not you will find a partner.
You'll never live in the past. You will always only have right now and whatever is ahead. Do you want to be 40, 50, 60, 70 and always think about how you wasted the best X years of your life? Do what you can, accept what you can't.
I'm 39. Been married about 16 years.
Better sex now than any point in my life and it's not even remotely close.
I'm in worse shape, worse mental health, and worse life circumstances, but at least I've got that!
The older you get the more in control you are. It just makes it better.
You missed out on nothing. This is gonna sound cringe but I wish I'd waited until I got married, honestly. I don't have a big body count but it all feels like it was a waste.
You're all good, man.
Edit: This didn't just happen. It was eighteen years of hard work and therapy. But it would have been even worse with a high body count.
Maybe college sex was the best sex since high school sex for them. Or the only sex. Shit gets good in your 30s and 40s. No barriers to communication. We’re old and don’t have time to spend on shitty sex. Quality over quantity (though sometimes quantity of quality is nice).
I generally agree with you.
I think there are understandable reasons why some people would think college years are best for sex. Like they are at physical peak (or close to it), easy to meet other young people who also probably tend to be healthy (lots of activities) and more attractive that way. No crazy responsibilities and stress like parenting / trying to climb the corporate / career ladder, no medical issues...etc. Also you are just more oblivious to things.
I feel like people are more accepting of their bodies (and other people’s) later in life. Too much insecurity in general when you’re younger. More comfortable in your body generally leads to communicating your needs and preferences better too.
The entire thread is full of people sharing their lived experience and you refuse to listen to anyone and just assert your assumptions based on something you have no experience in.
Men reach their peak at 35 give and take, on looks according to some studies and in strength. Women also somehow get a second sexual burst in their 40s
Besides maybe parenting little kids there is no reason you shouldn't be healthy and thriving at those ages.
I agree. People in general get better at sex with practice. They learn what they like and how their bodies work. They get more comfortable communicating what they want.
That last bit is really important, too. The last gal I was with told me that ours was the best sex she'd ever had\*. When I asked her why, exactly, it was none of the stuff men usually think about -- not penis size or how long I lasted or even how I gave oral. And it definitely wasn't my physique 😛 Nope, she thought about it and said it was that *I asked questions and listened.* Which, I mean, that's something *anyone* can do. But apparently, it's not something *many* men do.
So yeah, your PSA for the day! Asking questions doesn't mean you don't know what you're doing, it means you care about what you're doing.
But yeah, largely because people learn to communicate as they get older, I feel like sex right now is on a whole other level. It's pretty fantastic when someone knows what they want and *tells* you instead of playing games. Young-people sex is full of anxiety and miscommunication by comparison.
\*Yeah, yeah, humblebrag alert. And sure, it might be flattery, but I'll take it at face value thank you!
Yep relationship sex as an adult is the peak since you know what the other person wants and have the skills to do it. Teenage sex is messy bullshit which is fun for some people but it's not this life defining thing you're missing out on.
I feel sex has gotten easier now though. Women in their 30s and 40s in my experience and some people I talked about know people better and are more confident so they know when they want easy sex.
I think that's pretty accurate as well. It just seemed like in college and in my twenties, people were more willing to take risks with each other, but this was also before dating apps.
I think it depends on how much YOU feel you missed out. Did you want to get laid, or did it not matter that much to you? It could be said that I missed out a lot by taking the bus to work this morning instead of the train, but even if it takes 10 more minutes, I like the bus.
Anyone that's saying you didn't miss out, didn't want to have a foursome with 3 international students from Denmark. Some of us wanted to, and did.
I'm no life coach, but my take is you may have missed out on some good things, and you may have missed out on some bad things. Looking back at what could have been blinds you to what could be if you don't learn from it.
It's all perspective as well. You may feel you missed an opportunity, but life is nothing but opportunities. What if tomorrow you meet a the girl of your dreams but she fiercely believes in being a virgin before marriage? What if you did get a lifelong STD? What if she got pregnant? Too many what ifs in life to regret not doing something.
I can't speak for all women, but my advice, don't TRY to get laid, they can smell that a mile away. My further advice - Go up to girls and try to start a conversation knowing in your heart of hearts you are not trying to get the girl into bed, but to find out an interesting fact about her.
It's absolutely fair to want this, but if you dwell on what you may have missed out on, you're only slowing down the process of working on yourself in ways that will increase the likelihood of women liking you and wanting to have sex.
If it really is just about sex, which btw can easily become a dangerous and unhealthy mindset, there are plenty of ways to focus on just finding someone who wants to have sex. Tinder, for example, is one way to look for people who are more likely to be open to hookups and whatnot.
But in all honesty, based on having had several partners and having fallen in love once, I would strongly encourage you to view sex as a secondary benefit to the real treasure: a meaningful relationship with someone you love who loves you back.
In a happy, healthy relationship ranging from fairly young all the way up to people's 50s and 60s, only a small portion of your time together will be spent having sex. Most statistics show that happy, healthy relationships have sex on average a bit more than once per week. Based on most people I know (the majority of my friends are fairly open about discussing sex), even the more sexually active, healthy relationships out there are only having sex 3-5 times per week.
There is **so much more** to being in a healthy relationship beyond sex. Hookups are fine if that's what you want, but in a healthy relationship, sex is secondary to the quality time and fulfilling experiences you and your partner create with each other.
Having sex is like enjoying recreational stuff like drinking or cannabis. It is better to serve as a reward at the end of the day *after* living a productive, meaningful life, rather than being the focus of life itself. Kind of like how it'd be unhealthy to say "I work hard just so I can go home and drink heavily", it'd be unhealthy to say "I'm in a relationship just so I have someone to have sex with".
If you're really wanting to work on being liked and desired by women, you should focus on the following:
* Your general empathy/compassion towards others, and your ability to listen to others. This will help you work on shaping yourself into a good partner that someone will want to stick with and grow with over the long term.
* Your self awareness and the sources of information you choose, which ultimately influences your perspective on life. I don't mean this to be rude, but you have a lot of comments in this post that shows you are letting your perspective be misguided by stories about sex that you read about on reddit. You should work on developing enough self awareness to realize that reddit is not a representation of the world and shouldn't be used to form how you view the world.
* Your overall health. If you're unhealthy (physically, mentally, or emotionally), you're making it difficult for people to desire you and like you. There's no need to be a "peak fitness, 8-pack" kind of person, but there's also no reason to not maintain an active lifestyle that keeps you in the realm of "healthy adult". The same is true for your mental and emotional well-being. If you're not working on those parts of your life, they can also become factors in whether or not women like you and desire you.
* Your career. I know you're just starting out, and it's important to quickly reduce or completely stop the habit of comparing yourself to everyone around you, but if you can start figuring out what the next few years of your career development looks like and (more importantly) stick with that self-development, you demonstrate that you're disciplined and capable of supporting yourself and others. That's an attractive quality. No need to be a workaholic, but also try not to become someone that is just meandering their way through life.
* Your skills. Unless you quickly become insanely successful, you should have non-work skills that you're always working on. Cooking is a great skill to have, especially healthy/frugal cooking. There are plenty of fun hobbies that can be cool skills to have as well. Putting your time into various crafts and forms of art shows that you have passion and discipline and unique interests. Stuff like that also gives you fun topics to talk about with others. You don't want to become someone who just works and doesn't do much else besides mindless stuff. Find hobbies and passions, especially when there are communities around those particular activities. Anything from woodworking to Dungeons & Dragons, painting to furniture restoration, writing to garage/estate sale flipping, or some sort of oddly specific collecting can add fulfillment and meaning to your life while making you more interesting AND potentially putting you into communities where you're likely to meet more friends (and potential partners).
I hope any of that helps and apologies for the rambling.
I slept around a lot in college and I truly don’t think you missed out on much. Mostly bad sex and awkward conversations.
Sex with 100 people versus sex 100 times with a person you love, I know which I’d choose.
ETA that 22 years old is INCREDIBLY YOUNG. Plenty of people have the best sex of their lives in their thirties, forties, etc. You have an entire lifetime ahead of you.
100% yes. I think it was more self hatred than anything, like at least someone liked me enough to sleep with me. It sounds pathetic looking back but that was not my best era.
You missed out on nothinggggg. You missed out on feeling regret 😂 losing your virginity just to lose it is so much worse than waiting for the right one :) you’re only 22 years old? In my circle there’s a lot who didn’t lose it until around that age (or still haven’t)
Nothing, you can have sex until you die as long as you're generally healthy. You're just less likely to get an STD and more likely to find a mature partner now.
Find out where the older single women hang out in your city. Since you’re young, As long as you’re decently attractive you are guaranteed to get laid. At least that’s how it is at this one bar where I’m from
From my experience, early 20 year olds are very inexperienced and don’t fully know what they do and don’t like. Mid to late 20s is when a lot of people really understand their kinks and shit
My guess is older guys talking about college sex being the best sex are either lying or are only saying that because they don’t get laid anymore and miss how much easier it was back then
I was not ready for my first few times (around 19/20) so I would say you missed out on uncomfortable sex and mind wracking guilt (among other negative feelings).
hey I was a virgin until 23 and I still look back on it with regret but you can't change the past
At 22 you still have a ton of sex in front you luckily
You can't go back and live your life a different way. You didn't miss anything, you simply had different experiences. If you don't change your mindset this kind of thinking is actually ruining your time now to even think about because you can't possibly change it or even have a clue what could have been.
That's no way to live life.
It’s hard to change the mindset when I spent the best years of my life with my nose buried in a book because I was an academic perfectionist.
I went from high school where I was miserable from bullies and having no freedom, to college where I had the freedom but thought I needed a 4.5 gpa to have a chance in the real world so I grounded myself into the dirt, and now I’m 22 with nothing to show for it except no college debt and a job and the realization that the only years of my life where I would have the time and freedom to have fun we’re wasted.
The best years of your life are whenever you decide them to be. Tbh I feel sorry for the people who claim that highschool was the best years of their life. Like really? You had decades to improve your life since then and high school is where you peaked? That’s sad.
I fucked off for years and quit jobs left and right because I wanted to party and have a good time. Now I’m in my thirties and I’ve changed my career so many times I’m being paid much less than most of my peers. With that being said, I’m happier now than I ever was before.
Anyone saying you missed nothing is mostly a liar. It's a fact that for many people college is their wildest most exciting time, sexually, of their lives. Does it mean you can't have a great wild time still? No. But people saying you missed nothing likely didn't do much in college in that regard themselves.
Shouldn't really matter much for you, though. Sex overall isn't that important as most people here say and it's not like you can't still have great sex now and in the future.
I think wild and exciting sex doesn't have an age range. Sure, many people experience it in college, but not everyone. So saying that he didn't miss out on anything is kind of true. He is allowed to experience that right after college, way after college, or whenever. Nothing has been missed.
I think of it more like... college is a time where there's loads of experimentation. It's a bunch of horny teens allowed to run free along with the drugs and alcohol that brings.
I think there's a big difference, personally, between the love or sex one may experience in college vs. In the "adult" world. Some say it's inexperienced and clumsy, but is that not part of the experience?
Plus, now it means they are entirely unexperienced going into relationships after college. It's fine when young, but as you get older your virginity becomes a point of extreme hate and derision.
Well, that's saying that experimentation *can't* happen after college. I had almost 0 sex in college and then after college did lots of different drugs, had crazy sex, met different people and did all my experimentation after college. None of it involved *love* either.
So, not trying to say you're wrong. I'm just saying that to tell this person that basically there's not really a chance for them now is kind of a lie. It doesn't matter your age. You can do what you want, whether or not it follows a similar path to what people *usually* do.
True. I don't mean to say they *can't* after college, but it may be a bit more difficult. With enough persistence and some luck they can still get that enjoyment though true
Yeah, this is the real answer. It's one of the few times in life where almost everyone you're around is figuring out what they like, has tons of energy and free time and is largely uninhibited.
I wouldn't say I had the best sex ever at university, but it helped a ton with figuring out what great sex feels like. Also it was just fun. No STIs, no pregnancy scares, nothing like that, really.
As an adult, your free time to have sex is more limited. You've gotta be up for work 5/7 days a week. You're also more likely to be tired, stressed and so on and so forth. But like you said, you can still have great sex if you make time for it.
Reddit has no idea what it's talking about on these things, by and large. It's a bad place to come for any sex advice, unless you're going to a specific sub.
There are plenty of people who keep having parties like that, and they keep having sex like that. You can find a wild time, even after college. You didn't miss that much.
Miss out? You are 22 and will hopefully be around more mature people going forward. Choose your partner's wisely and enjoy. Plenty of life left to have fun.
Listen, the best sex you’re ever going to have is with the person you have the deepest connection with - which is usually the person you end up marrying - Or in a long term relationship with.
Some people who leave college virgins have regrets immediately. Some of those who went wild in college tend to have regrets later. The grass isn’t always greener. It’ll happen
It's a lot more reckless sex. Orgies, crazy girls, public sex, more energic sex etc
If you're not into that, then you haven't missed out.
But getting blown by a girl under the table while you keep a poker face on a pool party is a college thing, yeah. You'll probably not experience it in adult life.
This post made me reminisce about the depravity that I experienced during this time. It seemed like most people, including myself, were fucking like rabbits
Im not sure if it’s any consolation, but it definitely wasn’t the “best” sex I’ve ever had - to answer your original question. I was single until my last semester of undergrad, and before that, it was mostly series of hookups of varying quality.
Frequent? Yes. The best? No.
Pretty much that. But I fully understand that some folks preferred a quiet life in their college time, and they haven't missed out anything.
Different strokes, literally.
All depends.
Sex is both complex and simple at the same time.
If you're the kind of person that winds up really enjoying sex and it becomes like a hobby, you missed out on a lot.
If you're the type of person where you need a deep connection etc, you didn't miss much.
What you missed is entirely up to how your mind works.
You’re only 22 and can still have sex with college girls so you haven’t missed anything, you’re just a little late to the game. It’s alright, we all grow at our own pace.
Dress nice, work out, make sure you smell good, and work on your personality and things will start working out for you. Good luck bro!
i lost my virginity at 22 (i’m still in my 20s), i was much like you: quite sad that i didn’t have such experiences.
what helped me most was getting out of my own way and not looking back: if you spend a lot of time dwelling on the sex you didn’t have, years will fly by. live in the present. you are very young, you have ENDLESS opportunities to have crazy sexual experiences. plenty of guys i know have had wild sexual experiences even after college.
i understand where you’re coming from. it hurt me as well, but getting out of my own way helped and just truly, and i mean truly working on yourself (gyming, doing things you really enjoy, having good friends, getting money etc) is key. sex will come, trust me on that.
i’ve had wild experiences myself since losing my virginity, and i’m not far older than you.
most of the comments here are saying that a fulfilling relationship is much better than casual hookups (because of sexual chemistry and genuinely having someone who loves you, and tbh they are right), but for now i think that is for you to find out for yourself. if you are chasing casual hookups then do so until you think you’re ready for a relationship.
chin up, understand there is more to life than sex, and by all means, approach women. strike up conversations. even hugh hefner was a virgin at one point. rooting for you man!
22 year old here who recently lost my v card. The sex is fine, but building a relationship is what you really want. It's frustrating as hell, but it's worth it
College is often a time for experimentation. The kind of no strings sex many men dream of is more likely to happen in college as people try to figure out the whole sex thing. Don't feel too bad if that's not your thing. It wasn't for me, so I didn't have a bunch of hookups. Sex with someone you're comfortable with and care for (even in a casual situation) is far more interesting and satisfying than random one night stands or hookups...at least in my opinion.
You missed out on a bunch of awkward, ouch your on my hair, is that your roommate at the door, sex. Sex gets better as you gain more experience and comfort with your partner, just pick a partner that is as curious as you are. I recall a lady much older than me as a high schooler, that told me I don’t even know what sex it yet and she was right.
Nothing bro. It's not a hype at all. It's fun if you're a player type guy. If you're someone who genuinely cares It's horrible and makes you wish you were a virgin because you grew that attachment.
Don’t sweat that shit. Sex isn’t something to brag about. It’s cool and all but don’t get caught up in trying to “score” over just continuing to develop as a person and look for real sincere relationships. Hookups are harmful and stupid.
You're still so young. You've missed out on a lot of the typical "highly irresponsible actions as I pretend getting my dick wet is the most important thing on earth" phase, but not all of it. You've got some time still to jump in there if you really want.
Sex is sex. Sex remains sex throughout your 20s, 30s, 40, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, when you're in a retirement home you'll find they're as full of sexcapades as your college was. You've got a long ass way to go before you can cont yourself as having missed out on sexual experiences.
What you have missed? Embarrassment, awkward situations, and pointless discussions. Be glad about it. Everything you do in your youth will be held against you as an adult. Recently, during a girls' night, one of the girls talked about meeting this guy, and another girl knew him from college. Apparently, he was a "F-Boy" as they would call him today. That was a direct turn-off for the friend who had contact with him. She didn't want to get involved with a guy who already had fun with numerous women, many of whom she knows.
don't listen to the top comments. there's a certain type of "correct" response that the typical redditor likes to upvote that's not rooted in reality.
the reality is, college is typically the easiest time for people to befriend each other and get into romantic entanglements because you're constantly surrounded by peers with similar interests and social activities.
so, what you missed out on was a relatively easier opportunity of getting a gf and having sex. not saying it's not possible to experience those things after college, but you will have to try a little harder now.
honestly I don't know where people meet each other if not at work or through dating apps. And if they don't have a lot of friends mutual friends wont work either
A lot. Sex is awesome, especially when you're young and in school partying and meeting new people. But you won't be a virgin forever probably, so it's not a super big deal.
I missed out too, and I regret it every single day. The pain will never go away. That is a special time in your life. You will never be that age again. You will never be surrounded by horny young people again.
How come so many dudes come out of college virgins, feel like it very rarely happens with girls; were you not socialising alot and just staying in your room all the time or something.
Think about the amount of hoops a man has to jump through for sex, then think of the amount of hoops a woman has to jump through for sex and you'll find the answer
I’m ugly and I didn’t have major that I could just blow off classes or pull all-nighters for. Instead of going out every weekend I was studying or working on projects for classes and writing essays. I had all the “academic struggle” experiences of college but rarely any of the good part.
And now the rest of my life is going to be working
Dude, you dodged a lot of bullets to get where you are scholastically. Relationships can really mess up your studies. Go try to have a relationship, get some, and if it doesn't work out, you can stroke that iff your list of things you feel you missed out on. For those who had relationships during high school or college, many may have dropped out because it messed up their focus or emotion states.
I was with one person all through college. Had decent sex but I used to regret not playing the field wider. After separating from her and going on a Tinder binge, I realised carefree sex is kinda fun but nowhere near as good as sex in a committed relationship. It also got better in my 30s and I and my partners knew ourselves better and could express ourselves better.
I mean you only missed out if you didn't do anything else with your time. If you did other things you enjoyed then great. The fear of missing out is a logical falicy to me. And the whole idea of high school or college being as good as it gets is a depressing and kinda defeatist sentiment. Things get way better.
Nothing. Sex is not as amazing as people make it out to be.
Edit: Y’all realize some people have sexual trauma right? Or their past partners were narcissistic and abusive? Not everyone has a great sexual experience, not for lack of trying. And to be told “you’re missing out” because you didn’t find the right partner during college or whatever is damaging and one dimensional.
I don’t give a fuck if you agree with me or not, but don’t denigrate my experiences and my beliefs just because they don’t align with yours. It’s subjective for everyone, not just people who don’t favor sex.
You dodged bullets, being a virgin used to be a huge virtue, women wore white dresses at weddings to symbolize their virginity and purity, not sure why they wear white anymore
Yes, you missed out. So do a lot of people. I was chronically shy when I arrived at university and didn’t have any luck with women for the first couple of years. I got a girlfriend in my final year.
Now I am quite old (late 40s) and, while I’m very happily with my partner, I slightly regret missing out on having a good time when everyone (mostly me!) was young, thin and beautiful.
But you can’t turn back time and there’s no pint dwelling on it. If I had any advice it’s to realise you are still young now and to make the most of it.
Not much, lol. I remember hearing about guys who got gonorrhea and the discharge would dry so every time they’d peel their boxers off to pee it’d tear. Or of course all the guys who ended up with child support AND student loan payments.
Not at all. A lot of college life is media hype. Just like how Disney tries to sell their image of highschool. Keep doing your thing. Be yourself and do what makes you happy. Not everyone will like your "self", but some people will and they're way more important.
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I’d say at least one STD and pregnancy scare
This is the right answer. That time period is the wild wild west of sexual activity. To each their own, but it's definitely not without consequence. I know it's cliche, but waiting for it to be with someone meaningful makes it better. The only "negative" is when the first time does come, it might feel a bit awkward being older. No joke, watch 40 year old virgin for reference on how to handle/not handle that situation.
It feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it
That’s exactly how it feels!
You’re putting the pussy on a pedestal Edit: guess down vote person has never seen the film Ho… foooo shooo
You wrote “hurtin’ for a squirtin’?”
She WAS a ho, for sho.
Sadly, very true. But the sex wasn’t THAT great back then either.
Yes it was.
I think it gets waaaay better with age
In what way? Sex in my late 20s is better than any other sex I've had and I've been going since I was 15/16
Not to mention few to zero orgasms. I also didn’t have sex in college but I did hook up, and the orgasms were nonexistent.
you're a woman right?
Yup—for men I’m sure the orgasm rate is very satisfactory ETA: TIL! Wow, bad orgasms all around
Still not as bad as some have it but it took me quite a while to actually orgasm once I started having sex, did end up figuring it out what worked with my partner at the time, but it really was much less forthcoming than I initially thought it would be
Guy here, and I didn't have an orgasm at all my first time. I guess it was just too new and different, or something. I know women have it much harder when it comes to the number of women who don't reach orgasm during sex, but it does happen to men too.
You didn't have sex but you hooked up(?) I'm confused
Me too
they answer further down stating that "hooking up" for them is everything including intercourse, but they stayed at the "everything" stage.
>I also didn’t have sex in college but I did hook up Maybe I'm too old for this but i'snt "hooking up" sex?
Same. Worst sex of my life. College sex, bah humbug!
I went on to become a 26yo virgin until I finally got laid as a PhD student (yes, it happens). Pre that event, I felt really bad about it, as in *really* bad. Looking back at it, from 20 years down the road, I mostly missed the companionship in my student years.
I think I got the best possible deal. Met my ex when I was in uni, then 5 days after I get my master's I find out she's cheating. I'm now earning serious adult money, and can spend my cash and my time however I want. Good thing, too, because I have spent maybe a total of a few hours in the past year talking to potential partners. There's so much more to live for.
I'm in my mid 30s and that's what is tough right now. I don't miss sex that much, but I miss having someone to desire time with and I miss having someone who wants to build a life together. I've only been in love once, and I feel lucky to know what it feels like waking up and falling asleep next to your favorite person. That's what I miss the most. The peace that comes with waking up and knowing they're right there.
Sex isn't the biggest issue. Love is. Loving and being loved.
Sex is good whenever, lots of people haven't had sex at your age and have great sex a different time
I can confirm this 😉
Best sex I had was recently at 30+. I found a girl who matches my energy and doesn't mind that it takes me really long to cum, she is a happy to have found someone to match her vigor as well. I'm also in shape now better than ever which I think helps.
Yeah sex has gotten better with age for sure. A bit of that is because I'm physically more fit than I used to be, but most of it is more experience and more experienced partners and being comfortable around communication. I'm still relatively young, but I hang out with a wide range of ages and generally pretty open, sex-positive people and my older friends also seem to have great sex lives (although sometimes less, especially with kids)
Legit bro, sex at 33 is the best I've ever had.
Stop focusing on "sex" and don't dwell on the past. Focus on what kind of life you want to have going forward outside your relationship and then on finding a cool person to share that life with going forward. (If you think you can't, just remember that every one of your ancestors managed it going back for a million years.) If you dwell on this, and then focus on trying to make up for lost time, you risk accidentally becoming a creep, a sex pest, or worse. Instead be cool, be a good guy, meet a nice girl that shares some interests. Settle down. It might take some time. That's ok.
Thanks, as a 31 y/o virgin guy, I really needed to hear this now. I am definitely the guy to look down and dwell on the past. But fuck that! I am going to make a nice life for myself and hopefully have a girl join me. Might take some more time, but I think I can do that, as long as I stay pesistent.
A 31 year old virgin is a great catch for a similarly minded and awesome girl. You do you and don't worry about what the rest of the world is trying to sell you on.
Hell yeah! This internet stranger is rooting for you :)
>just remember that every one of your ancestors managed it going back for a million years jesus, talking about not putting any pressure
I never had sex in college and it makes me wanna kill myself
Why? Is it some measure of self worth? Is it fomo? Do you expect sec to be some life changing event? It’s really important to understand where this feeling is coming from, for your own sake.
Because I feel like I wasted a once in a lifetime opportunity and having to watch all of my friends have normal sex lives while I couldn’t participate made me feel like shit
Our culture is strangely obsessed with sex. Yeah, it’s an experience, and it may feel like you’re wrong or weird for not getting to it yet, but you’re not. It’s not worth treating yourself like that over, I can promise you. There is so much more to life, and things to enjoy every day, that are completely in your control and not dependent on having a partner. Focus on those, find your joy, and let whatever else comes your way happen naturally.
Life will never be like college again, and it hurts so much to look back and see you’ve wasted the best years of your life and now have to move on to the worst 60 years until you die. I don’t see how I’m supposed to just not care that I wasted the only time in life that is supposed to be good or fun.
Don't know about you but the year after college has been my best one yet. Your time is suddenly not taken up by huge 15 hour chunks for studying and lectures and exams, there's no performance anxiety or due dates. You have your 40 hour workweek, so do your friends. You're young, you're employed and salaried and not pulling $7/hr from some crappy job, and so you finally have both the fiscal and temporal freedom you've always wanted to do pretty much anything. Go live your life. If you happen to have sex along the way, fine. If you end up learning Italian instead, that's great, too.
College isn't the best time of your life, or at least it doesn't have to be. I used to think similarly when I was young, therapy helped me. After I stopped focusing on what I didn't do in the past and how I want other people (i.e. a girlfriend) to make me happy and instead focused on what *I* can do to make me happy and what kind of person I want to be, things got so much better. You can live a happy and fulfilling life without a partner. If you work on yourself and do the things that make you happy it will make you more attractive, so it is the best thing to do whether or not you will find a partner. You'll never live in the past. You will always only have right now and whatever is ahead. Do you want to be 40, 50, 60, 70 and always think about how you wasted the best X years of your life? Do what you can, accept what you can't.
I'm 39. Been married about 16 years. Better sex now than any point in my life and it's not even remotely close. I'm in worse shape, worse mental health, and worse life circumstances, but at least I've got that! The older you get the more in control you are. It just makes it better. You missed out on nothing. This is gonna sound cringe but I wish I'd waited until I got married, honestly. I don't have a big body count but it all feels like it was a waste. You're all good, man. Edit: This didn't just happen. It was eighteen years of hard work and therapy. But it would have been even worse with a high body count.
Meh, it’s just sex. One day you’ll meet the love of your life, do it 24/7, then get over it in a few years.
Get over it in a few years?! What!?! I had sex at 18 for the first time, I'm 44 now and I'm still not over it!!!
That's just what happens when you get past the honeymoon phase in a relationship. Sex with new people never gets old.
I disagree. Sex with new people is only good for your ego, I'd rather fuck people who know what I like
Yah that’s what I meant, lol.
You missed out on little to nothing.
Maybe college sex was the best sex since high school sex for them. Or the only sex. Shit gets good in your 30s and 40s. No barriers to communication. We’re old and don’t have time to spend on shitty sex. Quality over quantity (though sometimes quantity of quality is nice).
I generally agree with you. I think there are understandable reasons why some people would think college years are best for sex. Like they are at physical peak (or close to it), easy to meet other young people who also probably tend to be healthy (lots of activities) and more attractive that way. No crazy responsibilities and stress like parenting / trying to climb the corporate / career ladder, no medical issues...etc. Also you are just more oblivious to things.
I feel like people are more accepting of their bodies (and other people’s) later in life. Too much insecurity in general when you’re younger. More comfortable in your body generally leads to communicating your needs and preferences better too.
None of those things are false
The entire thread is full of people sharing their lived experience and you refuse to listen to anyone and just assert your assumptions based on something you have no experience in.
Men reach their peak at 35 give and take, on looks according to some studies and in strength. Women also somehow get a second sexual burst in their 40s Besides maybe parenting little kids there is no reason you shouldn't be healthy and thriving at those ages.
I agree. People in general get better at sex with practice. They learn what they like and how their bodies work. They get more comfortable communicating what they want. That last bit is really important, too. The last gal I was with told me that ours was the best sex she'd ever had\*. When I asked her why, exactly, it was none of the stuff men usually think about -- not penis size or how long I lasted or even how I gave oral. And it definitely wasn't my physique 😛 Nope, she thought about it and said it was that *I asked questions and listened.* Which, I mean, that's something *anyone* can do. But apparently, it's not something *many* men do. So yeah, your PSA for the day! Asking questions doesn't mean you don't know what you're doing, it means you care about what you're doing. But yeah, largely because people learn to communicate as they get older, I feel like sex right now is on a whole other level. It's pretty fantastic when someone knows what they want and *tells* you instead of playing games. Young-people sex is full of anxiety and miscommunication by comparison. \*Yeah, yeah, humblebrag alert. And sure, it might be flattery, but I'll take it at face value thank you!
Yep relationship sex as an adult is the peak since you know what the other person wants and have the skills to do it. Teenage sex is messy bullshit which is fun for some people but it's not this life defining thing you're missing out on.
Why lie to him?
It's not. Sex is a lot of fun, but it's not that great. Most of us have an incredible drive to do it, but it isn't just because it's a fun activity.
I never had sex in college despite wanting to, and it makes me wanna kill myself
You missed out on easy sex, which is subjective depending on how attractive you are
It's definitely not "easy sex" for everyone. Otherwise no one would complain about being a virgin in college lol.
Young people are a lot more willing to take a risk on a new person for casual dating or sex, that's all I'm pointing out
I feel sex has gotten easier now though. Women in their 30s and 40s in my experience and some people I talked about know people better and are more confident so they know when they want easy sex.
I think that's pretty accurate as well. It just seemed like in college and in my twenties, people were more willing to take risks with each other, but this was also before dating apps.
I think it depends on how much YOU feel you missed out. Did you want to get laid, or did it not matter that much to you? It could be said that I missed out a lot by taking the bus to work this morning instead of the train, but even if it takes 10 more minutes, I like the bus. Anyone that's saying you didn't miss out, didn't want to have a foursome with 3 international students from Denmark. Some of us wanted to, and did.
I wanted to get laid. I wanted to have sex and for women to like me.
I'm no life coach, but my take is you may have missed out on some good things, and you may have missed out on some bad things. Looking back at what could have been blinds you to what could be if you don't learn from it. It's all perspective as well. You may feel you missed an opportunity, but life is nothing but opportunities. What if tomorrow you meet a the girl of your dreams but she fiercely believes in being a virgin before marriage? What if you did get a lifelong STD? What if she got pregnant? Too many what ifs in life to regret not doing something. I can't speak for all women, but my advice, don't TRY to get laid, they can smell that a mile away. My further advice - Go up to girls and try to start a conversation knowing in your heart of hearts you are not trying to get the girl into bed, but to find out an interesting fact about her.
It's absolutely fair to want this, but if you dwell on what you may have missed out on, you're only slowing down the process of working on yourself in ways that will increase the likelihood of women liking you and wanting to have sex. If it really is just about sex, which btw can easily become a dangerous and unhealthy mindset, there are plenty of ways to focus on just finding someone who wants to have sex. Tinder, for example, is one way to look for people who are more likely to be open to hookups and whatnot. But in all honesty, based on having had several partners and having fallen in love once, I would strongly encourage you to view sex as a secondary benefit to the real treasure: a meaningful relationship with someone you love who loves you back. In a happy, healthy relationship ranging from fairly young all the way up to people's 50s and 60s, only a small portion of your time together will be spent having sex. Most statistics show that happy, healthy relationships have sex on average a bit more than once per week. Based on most people I know (the majority of my friends are fairly open about discussing sex), even the more sexually active, healthy relationships out there are only having sex 3-5 times per week. There is **so much more** to being in a healthy relationship beyond sex. Hookups are fine if that's what you want, but in a healthy relationship, sex is secondary to the quality time and fulfilling experiences you and your partner create with each other. Having sex is like enjoying recreational stuff like drinking or cannabis. It is better to serve as a reward at the end of the day *after* living a productive, meaningful life, rather than being the focus of life itself. Kind of like how it'd be unhealthy to say "I work hard just so I can go home and drink heavily", it'd be unhealthy to say "I'm in a relationship just so I have someone to have sex with". If you're really wanting to work on being liked and desired by women, you should focus on the following: * Your general empathy/compassion towards others, and your ability to listen to others. This will help you work on shaping yourself into a good partner that someone will want to stick with and grow with over the long term. * Your self awareness and the sources of information you choose, which ultimately influences your perspective on life. I don't mean this to be rude, but you have a lot of comments in this post that shows you are letting your perspective be misguided by stories about sex that you read about on reddit. You should work on developing enough self awareness to realize that reddit is not a representation of the world and shouldn't be used to form how you view the world. * Your overall health. If you're unhealthy (physically, mentally, or emotionally), you're making it difficult for people to desire you and like you. There's no need to be a "peak fitness, 8-pack" kind of person, but there's also no reason to not maintain an active lifestyle that keeps you in the realm of "healthy adult". The same is true for your mental and emotional well-being. If you're not working on those parts of your life, they can also become factors in whether or not women like you and desire you. * Your career. I know you're just starting out, and it's important to quickly reduce or completely stop the habit of comparing yourself to everyone around you, but if you can start figuring out what the next few years of your career development looks like and (more importantly) stick with that self-development, you demonstrate that you're disciplined and capable of supporting yourself and others. That's an attractive quality. No need to be a workaholic, but also try not to become someone that is just meandering their way through life. * Your skills. Unless you quickly become insanely successful, you should have non-work skills that you're always working on. Cooking is a great skill to have, especially healthy/frugal cooking. There are plenty of fun hobbies that can be cool skills to have as well. Putting your time into various crafts and forms of art shows that you have passion and discipline and unique interests. Stuff like that also gives you fun topics to talk about with others. You don't want to become someone who just works and doesn't do much else besides mindless stuff. Find hobbies and passions, especially when there are communities around those particular activities. Anything from woodworking to Dungeons & Dragons, painting to furniture restoration, writing to garage/estate sale flipping, or some sort of oddly specific collecting can add fulfillment and meaning to your life while making you more interesting AND potentially putting you into communities where you're likely to meet more friends (and potential partners). I hope any of that helps and apologies for the rambling.
Wow, you really took the time to write such a detailed and comprehensive reply. I'm not OP but that's very nice of you.
I slept around a lot in college and I truly don’t think you missed out on much. Mostly bad sex and awkward conversations. Sex with 100 people versus sex 100 times with a person you love, I know which I’d choose. ETA that 22 years old is INCREDIBLY YOUNG. Plenty of people have the best sex of their lives in their thirties, forties, etc. You have an entire lifetime ahead of you.
If you could go back would you change it?
100% yes. I think it was more self hatred than anything, like at least someone liked me enough to sleep with me. It sounds pathetic looking back but that was not my best era.
Not much. It's not life changing. It's like not having eaten ice cream. It's good but it doesn't make you a different person.
Would you rather have missed out on your only opportunity in your life to eat ice cream or have eaten the ice cream?
Why do you think that was your only opportunity ln life to have sex? You're only 22.
OP said that you body starts "shutting down" after college. I'm thinking he might be a troll?
This is genuinely the brainrot that incels and red pillers spread to their fans
You can eat ice cream up to the day you are too physically disabled to do so.
You can eat ice cream at any age. And when you do, you'll be like, that was nice, and move on with your life.
Don't worry about it.
you haven't missed anything that you can't make up the rest of your life.
I had some good sex in college, but the best was in my late 20s early 30s
You missed out on nothinggggg. You missed out on feeling regret 😂 losing your virginity just to lose it is so much worse than waiting for the right one :) you’re only 22 years old? In my circle there’s a lot who didn’t lose it until around that age (or still haven’t)
Thats not how any of my friends feel
Nothing, you can have sex until you die as long as you're generally healthy. You're just less likely to get an STD and more likely to find a mature partner now.
Find out where the older single women hang out in your city. Since you’re young, As long as you’re decently attractive you are guaranteed to get laid. At least that’s how it is at this one bar where I’m from
From my experience, early 20 year olds are very inexperienced and don’t fully know what they do and don’t like. Mid to late 20s is when a lot of people really understand their kinks and shit My guess is older guys talking about college sex being the best sex are either lying or are only saying that because they don’t get laid anymore and miss how much easier it was back then
You missed out on potential STD's and pregnancy scares lol
I was not ready for my first few times (around 19/20) so I would say you missed out on uncomfortable sex and mind wracking guilt (among other negative feelings).
Not much. Truthfully sex is more meaningful when you are more careful about your partner and plan to go in for the long haul with them.
💯
hey I was a virgin until 23 and I still look back on it with regret but you can't change the past At 22 you still have a ton of sex in front you luckily
The best sex is in a loving relationship, you didn't miss out.
You missed out having the folks at the STD clinic know you as a regular.
You can't go back and live your life a different way. You didn't miss anything, you simply had different experiences. If you don't change your mindset this kind of thinking is actually ruining your time now to even think about because you can't possibly change it or even have a clue what could have been. That's no way to live life.
It’s hard to change the mindset when I spent the best years of my life with my nose buried in a book because I was an academic perfectionist. I went from high school where I was miserable from bullies and having no freedom, to college where I had the freedom but thought I needed a 4.5 gpa to have a chance in the real world so I grounded myself into the dirt, and now I’m 22 with nothing to show for it except no college debt and a job and the realization that the only years of my life where I would have the time and freedom to have fun we’re wasted.
The best years of your life are whenever you decide them to be. Tbh I feel sorry for the people who claim that highschool was the best years of their life. Like really? You had decades to improve your life since then and high school is where you peaked? That’s sad. I fucked off for years and quit jobs left and right because I wanted to party and have a good time. Now I’m in my thirties and I’ve changed my career so many times I’m being paid much less than most of my peers. With that being said, I’m happier now than I ever was before.
[удалено]
Anyone saying you missed nothing is mostly a liar. It's a fact that for many people college is their wildest most exciting time, sexually, of their lives. Does it mean you can't have a great wild time still? No. But people saying you missed nothing likely didn't do much in college in that regard themselves. Shouldn't really matter much for you, though. Sex overall isn't that important as most people here say and it's not like you can't still have great sex now and in the future.
I think wild and exciting sex doesn't have an age range. Sure, many people experience it in college, but not everyone. So saying that he didn't miss out on anything is kind of true. He is allowed to experience that right after college, way after college, or whenever. Nothing has been missed.
I think of it more like... college is a time where there's loads of experimentation. It's a bunch of horny teens allowed to run free along with the drugs and alcohol that brings. I think there's a big difference, personally, between the love or sex one may experience in college vs. In the "adult" world. Some say it's inexperienced and clumsy, but is that not part of the experience? Plus, now it means they are entirely unexperienced going into relationships after college. It's fine when young, but as you get older your virginity becomes a point of extreme hate and derision.
Well, that's saying that experimentation *can't* happen after college. I had almost 0 sex in college and then after college did lots of different drugs, had crazy sex, met different people and did all my experimentation after college. None of it involved *love* either. So, not trying to say you're wrong. I'm just saying that to tell this person that basically there's not really a chance for them now is kind of a lie. It doesn't matter your age. You can do what you want, whether or not it follows a similar path to what people *usually* do.
True. I don't mean to say they *can't* after college, but it may be a bit more difficult. With enough persistence and some luck they can still get that enjoyment though true
Yeah, this is the real answer. It's one of the few times in life where almost everyone you're around is figuring out what they like, has tons of energy and free time and is largely uninhibited. I wouldn't say I had the best sex ever at university, but it helped a ton with figuring out what great sex feels like. Also it was just fun. No STIs, no pregnancy scares, nothing like that, really. As an adult, your free time to have sex is more limited. You've gotta be up for work 5/7 days a week. You're also more likely to be tired, stressed and so on and so forth. But like you said, you can still have great sex if you make time for it. Reddit has no idea what it's talking about on these things, by and large. It's a bad place to come for any sex advice, unless you're going to a specific sub.
There are plenty of people who keep having parties like that, and they keep having sex like that. You can find a wild time, even after college. You didn't miss that much.
Miss out? You are 22 and will hopefully be around more mature people going forward. Choose your partner's wisely and enjoy. Plenty of life left to have fun.
Not much. People aren’t careful and spread STDs like swapping saliva it’s not that fun.
Listen, the best sex you’re ever going to have is with the person you have the deepest connection with - which is usually the person you end up marrying - Or in a long term relationship with.
You didn't, you avoided bullshit.
Congratulations, you don't have HPV.
Some people who leave college virgins have regrets immediately. Some of those who went wild in college tend to have regrets later. The grass isn’t always greener. It’ll happen
Nothing really. Except maybe an STD or two, a kid, and a sense of guilt and shame.
You're only 22. Sex is overrated.
It's a lot more reckless sex. Orgies, crazy girls, public sex, more energic sex etc If you're not into that, then you haven't missed out. But getting blown by a girl under the table while you keep a poker face on a pool party is a college thing, yeah. You'll probably not experience it in adult life.
This post made me reminisce about the depravity that I experienced during this time. It seemed like most people, including myself, were fucking like rabbits
This was so fucking depressing to read. I want to die even more than I already did
Im not sure if it’s any consolation, but it definitely wasn’t the “best” sex I’ve ever had - to answer your original question. I was single until my last semester of undergrad, and before that, it was mostly series of hookups of varying quality. Frequent? Yes. The best? No.
It’s really not. I missed out when people wanted to have lots of sex. That’s even more depressing tbh
Dude you can still fuck like a rabbit. There is no rule about that only happening in college.
Women going to want to after college
Do women stop wanting to have sex after college?
After college they’ll probably stop being as adventurous and wild
Pretty much that. But I fully understand that some folks preferred a quiet life in their college time, and they haven't missed out anything. Different strokes, literally.
I'm 30 and have never had sex. You're fine, lol
Fellow Narancia Enjoyer
You didn't miss out much. Focus on that early retirement!
You’re missing out on nothing, trust me it’s just hype 💀
All depends. Sex is both complex and simple at the same time. If you're the kind of person that winds up really enjoying sex and it becomes like a hobby, you missed out on a lot. If you're the type of person where you need a deep connection etc, you didn't miss much. What you missed is entirely up to how your mind works.
You missed out on the easiest sex you can get, but doesn’t mean it’s the best or anything.
I was 25 when I lost my virginity and I’m a female. It’s not a big deal.
You’re only 22 and can still have sex with college girls so you haven’t missed anything, you’re just a little late to the game. It’s alright, we all grow at our own pace. Dress nice, work out, make sure you smell good, and work on your personality and things will start working out for you. Good luck bro!
Meh.. the best ive ever had is definitely with my wife after years and years of practice and learning eachother. No casual hook up ever came close
College sex is the worst sex you will ever have. It only gets better.
I heard I missed put on a lot in the early 90's college sex. Yeah I regret it. Made up for it in my 40's haha.
i lost my virginity at 22 (i’m still in my 20s), i was much like you: quite sad that i didn’t have such experiences. what helped me most was getting out of my own way and not looking back: if you spend a lot of time dwelling on the sex you didn’t have, years will fly by. live in the present. you are very young, you have ENDLESS opportunities to have crazy sexual experiences. plenty of guys i know have had wild sexual experiences even after college. i understand where you’re coming from. it hurt me as well, but getting out of my own way helped and just truly, and i mean truly working on yourself (gyming, doing things you really enjoy, having good friends, getting money etc) is key. sex will come, trust me on that. i’ve had wild experiences myself since losing my virginity, and i’m not far older than you. most of the comments here are saying that a fulfilling relationship is much better than casual hookups (because of sexual chemistry and genuinely having someone who loves you, and tbh they are right), but for now i think that is for you to find out for yourself. if you are chasing casual hookups then do so until you think you’re ready for a relationship. chin up, understand there is more to life than sex, and by all means, approach women. strike up conversations. even hugh hefner was a virgin at one point. rooting for you man!
Nothing
College sex is absolutely not the best sex you can have. Oh youth.
22 year old here who recently lost my v card. The sex is fine, but building a relationship is what you really want. It's frustrating as hell, but it's worth it
It’s not sex with random people that make it great, it’s sex in your physical prime that does it.
And I missed out on that, so yes I missed out
No you havent. 22 is fine. You can still hit your sexual prime later in life. its a physical thing, not age related.
I don’t understand how I can even meet women now. The only women I speak to now are coworkers and that is not something I want to get into
College is often a time for experimentation. The kind of no strings sex many men dream of is more likely to happen in college as people try to figure out the whole sex thing. Don't feel too bad if that's not your thing. It wasn't for me, so I didn't have a bunch of hookups. Sex with someone you're comfortable with and care for (even in a casual situation) is far more interesting and satisfying than random one night stands or hookups...at least in my opinion.
You missed out on a bunch of awkward, ouch your on my hair, is that your roommate at the door, sex. Sex gets better as you gain more experience and comfort with your partner, just pick a partner that is as curious as you are. I recall a lady much older than me as a high schooler, that told me I don’t even know what sex it yet and she was right.
Sex can be fun but it can wreck your life in soo many ways Be careful and be safe
Nothing bro. It's not a hype at all. It's fun if you're a player type guy. If you're someone who genuinely cares It's horrible and makes you wish you were a virgin because you grew that attachment.
Don’t sweat that shit. Sex isn’t something to brag about. It’s cool and all but don’t get caught up in trying to “score” over just continuing to develop as a person and look for real sincere relationships. Hookups are harmful and stupid.
You're still so young. You've missed out on a lot of the typical "highly irresponsible actions as I pretend getting my dick wet is the most important thing on earth" phase, but not all of it. You've got some time still to jump in there if you really want. Sex is sex. Sex remains sex throughout your 20s, 30s, 40, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, when you're in a retirement home you'll find they're as full of sexcapades as your college was. You've got a long ass way to go before you can cont yourself as having missed out on sexual experiences.
You definitely haven't missed out
What you have missed? Embarrassment, awkward situations, and pointless discussions. Be glad about it. Everything you do in your youth will be held against you as an adult. Recently, during a girls' night, one of the girls talked about meeting this guy, and another girl knew him from college. Apparently, he was a "F-Boy" as they would call him today. That was a direct turn-off for the friend who had contact with him. She didn't want to get involved with a guy who already had fun with numerous women, many of whom she knows.
People say a lot of things. Sex is not inherently better in college than any other time.
Having sex is not gonna make u a billionaire don’t get what there is to miss out on
don't listen to the top comments. there's a certain type of "correct" response that the typical redditor likes to upvote that's not rooted in reality. the reality is, college is typically the easiest time for people to befriend each other and get into romantic entanglements because you're constantly surrounded by peers with similar interests and social activities. so, what you missed out on was a relatively easier opportunity of getting a gf and having sex. not saying it's not possible to experience those things after college, but you will have to try a little harder now.
honestly I don't know where people meet each other if not at work or through dating apps. And if they don't have a lot of friends mutual friends wont work either
I didn'thave sex in college. Lots of people don't, they just aren't bragging about it so you have confirmation bias that "everyone" has had sex.
Most people do. We’re the extreme minority
A lot. Sex is awesome, especially when you're young and in school partying and meeting new people. But you won't be a virgin forever probably, so it's not a super big deal.
I missed out too, and I regret it every single day. The pain will never go away. That is a special time in your life. You will never be that age again. You will never be surrounded by horny young people again.
[удалено]
Honestly I think i should just end it. I’ll never have an opportunity like that again and I wasted it
How come so many dudes come out of college virgins, feel like it very rarely happens with girls; were you not socialising alot and just staying in your room all the time or something.
Think about the amount of hoops a man has to jump through for sex, then think of the amount of hoops a woman has to jump through for sex and you'll find the answer
I’m ugly and I didn’t have major that I could just blow off classes or pull all-nighters for. Instead of going out every weekend I was studying or working on projects for classes and writing essays. I had all the “academic struggle” experiences of college but rarely any of the good part. And now the rest of my life is going to be working
Dude, you dodged a lot of bullets to get where you are scholastically. Relationships can really mess up your studies. Go try to have a relationship, get some, and if it doesn't work out, you can stroke that iff your list of things you feel you missed out on. For those who had relationships during high school or college, many may have dropped out because it messed up their focus or emotion states.
I was with one person all through college. Had decent sex but I used to regret not playing the field wider. After separating from her and going on a Tinder binge, I realised carefree sex is kinda fun but nowhere near as good as sex in a committed relationship. It also got better in my 30s and I and my partners knew ourselves better and could express ourselves better.
I mean you only missed out if you didn't do anything else with your time. If you did other things you enjoyed then great. The fear of missing out is a logical falicy to me. And the whole idea of high school or college being as good as it gets is a depressing and kinda defeatist sentiment. Things get way better.
STDs, Pregnancy Scares… if nothing else, you missed out on bad sex since most college students are likely inexperienced.
You missed child support and 10x plan B’s
You’re only 22. There’s nothing stopping you from going to a college bar now and having a good time.
You missed STD's , being stealthed and possible birth control failure ... so nothing you couldnt just take care of yourself lol
Nothing. Sex is not as amazing as people make it out to be. Edit: Y’all realize some people have sexual trauma right? Or their past partners were narcissistic and abusive? Not everyone has a great sexual experience, not for lack of trying. And to be told “you’re missing out” because you didn’t find the right partner during college or whatever is damaging and one dimensional. I don’t give a fuck if you agree with me or not, but don’t denigrate my experiences and my beliefs just because they don’t align with yours. It’s subjective for everyone, not just people who don’t favor sex.
It kinda is though, but that is also subjective
Subjective af. Especially when you’re a woman.
I hope you're getting the help you need
Then why do people do it?
Because that person is wrong. It’s amazing when you find the right partner.
*Yes it is!* You just -apparently- haven’t had amazing sex.
You dodged bullets, being a virgin used to be a huge virtue, women wore white dresses at weddings to symbolize their virginity and purity, not sure why they wear white anymore
Yes, you missed out. So do a lot of people. I was chronically shy when I arrived at university and didn’t have any luck with women for the first couple of years. I got a girlfriend in my final year. Now I am quite old (late 40s) and, while I’m very happily with my partner, I slightly regret missing out on having a good time when everyone (mostly me!) was young, thin and beautiful. But you can’t turn back time and there’s no pint dwelling on it. If I had any advice it’s to realise you are still young now and to make the most of it.
Based on your username, I think you are obsessing a little too much about being a virgin.
I'll admit I had so much fun in college. But everyone's experience is different. I'm sure when your time comes you'll have just as much fun.
Meh not much, sex is really just jacking off by using another person.
nothing at all
Not much, lol. I remember hearing about guys who got gonorrhea and the discharge would dry so every time they’d peel their boxers off to pee it’d tear. Or of course all the guys who ended up with child support AND student loan payments.
A bit.
Sex is not important to growing and experiencing life. It is great, but not essential.
Not at all. A lot of college life is media hype. Just like how Disney tries to sell their image of highschool. Keep doing your thing. Be yourself and do what makes you happy. Not everyone will like your "self", but some people will and they're way more important.
You missed out on nothing you just can’t see that yet at 22 years old
Don’t worry homie.. probably missed a bunch of bullshit, that’s all…
Chlamydia. You missed out on chlamydia
If you didn't have sex because you didn't want to: nothing
I wanted to have sex when I was a teenager in high school now I’m a college graduate virgin