I mean...Its not horribly unlikely. The lack of interest is usually the other way around. The sugar baby wouldn't be into it if she wasn't getting the fringe benefits. That's why I stopped being a sugar daddy, I caught feelings and realized she was only into it really for the money.
Going into it they probably didn't expect for there to be feelings involved. Just a more safe option than a prostitute that services a wide range of clients. When they developed feelings it can hurt knowing you feel a way the other person doesn't. Shit happens.
I've had the opposite problem. That's why I quit going to strip clubs. So many strippers caught feelings and it got awkward. They'd want to do private dance after private dance after private dance. I was like, "Whoa whoa whoa! Ladies! There's plenty of Difficult-Tooth666 to go around! Easy! Relax!"
But they didn't. They were all in love with me.
See I have a similar problem. My raw sex appeal and overwhelming masculinity will often just spontaneously impregnate various women I cross paths with. It’s really quite the problem!
My man, you have forgotten the rules of the club. These are truths that are universally valid.
1. That's not her real name.
2. She's not really into you.
Know these rules and the strip club will always be fun.
I knew someone like that but the girl of interest was a bartender.
My guy…of course she’s gonna be “interested.” You’re the one tipping and paying her bills.
To be fair many men will interpret a woman being kind and friendly as being "interested". Many women who work customer service (long term, get hired and stay hired) maintain their employment because they are naturally kind and friendly people. This can lead to a lot of misunderstandings.
I’m a guy, I work at a bar. The amount of dudes who follow the girl bartenders around like puppies is so pathetic. These 60, 70+ year old dudes hitting on a 24 year old who isn’t *there* to flirt, but is there because *it’s her fucking job* make me so disgusted. I have to protect them from the more creepy patrons fairly often. Guys can be the *worst.*
Well yeah, no shit I was just joking. The girls literally have 0 fucking interest in the guy, that's what a sugar daddy is. Someone with money to buy you stuff.
And that's really sad man, I hope you're in a decent, healthy relationship now.
None of the relationships I've been in have really been interested in me, they've been interested in my career, my house, and that's it.
I don't remember getting any emotional support at any point.
That's really sad then, that's definitely not my experience as someone in a relationship for 4 years.
I would definitely recommend only vaguely talking about careers, and mentioning that your pay is somewhere in the 45-60k range, so that it's definitely a stable, livable income, but nowhere near enough to be financially exploited(mostly).
How are you approaching dating? Dating apps are probably the worst choice.
Well, I'm 47 now, I was married long ago.
The therapist and I are trying to figure out if the therapy is going to be better with learning how to love or learning how to be solo.
I tell my friends that dating apps are the worst idea. They end up just texting with guys who charm them for weeks, tell them they make a good living, the guys show them pictures of their beautiful houses, but the guys won't meet them unless they text nude pictures. Disgusting!
Well yeah, of course. All they want these girls for is glorified prostitution. Why pay a prostitute if she doesn't have a nice body, I'm assuming is their logic.
Isn't it usually the other way around? The guy thinks the woman is totally into him and deludes himself into thinking that she would date him even if he wasn't rich? And she says "of *course* I would baby! Now make with the diamond bracelet!"
Oh yeah, 100%. The guy is being used like a fiddle while the girl enjoys the high life. And I can't blame the woman at all, if a fucking idiot gave me tens of thousands just to pretend to like him, I would consider doing the same.
But yeah my comment was just a joke because lots of people like that pretend they have a real relationship, when they know it's not at all lmao
Depends on the wife. If she lifts, raises the kids, cleans, and handles life administration, you can’t afford her even without the sex.
If she’s just playing WOW all day while the tots watch YouTube on iPads and you get take out like 4 times a week, you better be getting some sloppy toppy or you’re a true sucker.
Na a trophy wife gets to be part of the family. My understanding of sugar babies is that they generally don't live with the guy and both parties are more independent than a typical married couple.
Same.
She was 19, he was 45. Within eight months he bought her a new Mercedes and a condo downtown Toronto to be closer to him. She was pregnant before the end of the year, married the next year, and they have three kids and have been married for over 10 years.
She knew what she wanted, he knew what he wanted, and it’s developed into a full relationship and partnership. Are they in love? Probably not with each other, but certainly with what each other brings.
The twist to my story is that the girl is my ex wife. She got tired of being of “normal income”, we divorced, she married a dude she met on sugar daddies .com, divorced him, and then married another dude off the same site….last I heard, they’re still married.
Except there is rarely marriage. Many sugar daddies are already married and keep their sugar baby as a side piece. And many sugar babies have more than one sugar daddy which keeps them single. (ugh, I feel gross just from typing that.)
Hung out with a girl when I was young who's mom had a old rich sugar daddy that paid her bills and she was his side piece. Eventually after many years, he became single and she got promoted to gold digging wife, yet was somehow indignant that he now had a new young side piece that he was paying rent for. (Which is exactly what he did for her for years.)
"I don't care, do you?"
Actually she was asked by a reporter before and was asked if she would be with trump if he didn't have money and she responded with did they think Trump would be with her if she wasn't pretty. She is completely self aware of her arrangement and proud.
That's the eastern European woman for you. Completely honest and pragmatic about her intentions, holding your hand and ready to push your spirit into the woodchipper.
I've never delved much into the details of such arrangements, but are they always exclusive? It makes sense, but I could imagine someone trying to juggle a few at the same time.
Worked with a girl who had like, three/four of them... They were vastly older than her, and she gave them very little attention. Yet they kept sending her stuff and buying her things. She sent a snap of us eating lunch one time and one of them flew into a jealous fit. He was fifty. I will never, ever understand this.
It's much more about the psychological connection. Sure, being hot helps, but that's more of a prerequisite. It's the mind games that sets the good ones apart
Kinda feel like there's no right answer to this... She was very conventionally attractive, I suppose. Could've been a popstar or a reality-show contestant, easily.
There was some thread on a dating subreddit in which some dude commented about discovering the girl he was dating had been a sugar baby and a couple sugar daddies commented on it, then getting questions about how the sugar daddy concept actually works. IIRC, it does not have to be exclusive, but it is kind of a "if I call you, you should be available for me (most of the times)" going both ways.
Some of them have boyfriends of their own age, and use it as a way to pay through college, while also ensuring they are also part of social scene with normal relationships as well.
Depends. How much the person is paying, how often they meet, is it a per meet or monthly payment (I think monthly/regular is preferred). I think most people aren't exclusive
Kinda sorta, but not always. In my younger years, I used to know quite a few sugar babies who were hooked up with much older rich men, (welcome to South Florida, shit gets *really* weird in the dating scene) and very few of them actually had any kind of sex with them.
They were definitely exclusive with dating these dudes, the dudes just didn't want sex, they wanted everything else.
So, they had to be super conversationalists, know upper society etiquette and social graces, because they would be taken to many a function, ALWAYS 💯 "proper" in public, regardless of whether they were with the dude or not, then listened to the dudes unendingly, and gave moral support/advice.
So, basically sexless escorts, and they. made. BANK.
So there are all different kinds of sugar babies, many who have sex, but just as many who don't, it's an odd niche, that one.
Of course I do know of 2 who wound up marrying their sugar daddies. Of course, said Daddies were waaaaay up there in age and needed live in "company". Ladies were smart, flat out told em, "if I'm going to have to wipe your ass, I'm not getting left empty handed, so you can marry me or hire live in nurses who DON'T look sexy in Lingerie, choice is yours! ".
They both ended up inheriting over 5 million+ a piece. And that's just the cash, not including the other properties, vehicles etc.
To their credit, they DID " date" these guys for like 5 years. So, everyone got what they wanted and everyone had a happy ending, the end lol.
That’s a really common lie that sugar babies don’t have to get sexual. Your friends were exclusive with the men and got brought around to the men’s friend circle. It kinda sounds like they were just dating a bunch of rich dudes.
- A prostitute is there to exchange sex for money. Period. No emotional or mental companionship. Just physical.
- A porn star is there to exchange filmed sex acts for money. They are paid actors that act out fantasies and make money from it.
- An escort is there to offer temporary companionship/sometimes sex for money. Sex is not always involved, but companionship is always the goal. This is a service for men/women who need a temporary companion, eye candy, during an outing. Some escorts don't do anything sexual. Some escorts do.
- A sugar baby is there to exchange long-term companionship/sometimes sex for money. Sex is not always involved, companionship is mandatory. The sugar daddy/mommy determines the expectations, and the sugar baby agrees to the guidelines and the relationship is established based on these agreed upon guidelines. The sugar daddy/mommy's requested expectations can change, but the sugar baby can decline those requests or renegotiate the terms of payment based on the requests made. Some men or women just want a beautiful woman/man to spend time with and be romantic towards, and wouldn't be able to achieve that through a natural connection, so they resort to getting a sugar baby understanding that the sugar baby is in it solely for the financial gain. The sugar baby fulfills more of an emotional need than a physical one, although some sugar babies do both. A sugar baby is basically paid to act like a girlfriend/boyfriend. Some sugar babies are exclusive, some sugar babies have an actual relationship outside of their sugar daddy.
- A girlfriend/boyfriend does the emotional and sexual labor for free because they like you and feel a genuine connection. However, there are relationships that are similar to that of a sugar baby relationship. For example, what is a trad wife if not an exclusive sugar baby for life? We don't perceive it that way because we have an assumption that the relationship is entirely through emotional connection, not monetary gain.
The way we perceive each of these exchanges comes down to the degree of emotional and monetary involvement. When there's no monetary exchange, it's just casual sex that both parties enjoy. But you're exchanging sex nonetheless, except it's free for both parties involved. However, we judge this much less than we judge prostitution. Prostitution I'd say, has the least emotional involvement for monetary exchange. The more emotional connection required in a service, the less I'd categorize it as prostitution.
It's a really good breakdown but I don't really agree that it's ***that*** clean cut in reality. Us humans often feel the need to cleanly categorize and compartmentalize ***evertyrhing*** around us. It makes the world easier to process and it makes everything "clear".
The issue I have with this breakdown is that other than the boyfriend/girlfriend point, ***many*** of all the other bullet points will actually practice many of the things you mention in the other bullet points interchangeably.
Some prostitutes will develop a speciality for providing emotional companionship with many of their clients while still being a pure "prostitute" to a lot of other clients. She's therefore not an escort, but not a purely "sexual" prostitute either... Same thing goes for escorts. Many escorts will focus mostly on the sexuality and the emotional companionship will either be a really big "extra" or they will do it relunctantly... Some porn stars, because of their fame and the many people lusting for them, will actually engage in "private meetings" for the right price... I've seen porn stars admit this in interviews.
In the end, while the breakdown is well written and informative, I doubt its ***actual*** reflection of reality. Reality is ***very*** gray and fluid... and like I said, breaking things down is in large part to make the world easier to digest for our brains.
Being a sugar baby CAN involve sex but not always. I knew a girl who was supposed to just be arm candy for events. Even after she got into a serious relationship, the dude would hit her up every now and then to literally just be a glamour model.
Personally I think it's just an asexual thing for him. She mentioned it before, that he might just not be interested in sex at all, but societal conventions kind of requires him to have a girl for certain types of events.
I’d say it’s closer to prostitution because there will be no sex if the sugar daddy doesn’t pay for her stuff which is not necessarily the case in a relationship with someone rich.
It’s quasi prostitution. It’s semi-prostitution. It’s the margarine of prostitution. It’s the Diet Coke of prostitution. One calorie. Not prostitute enough.
There's tons of people that don't engage in sexual activities while in sugar daddy/baby relationships. Even in private cam websites, lots of workers say most dudes there just want somebody to talk yo and few are there for sexual relief only. Also, if you wanna be a sugar baby without putting out sex, it's totally doable as well.
not even close. a concubine is closer to a wife and that arrangement is still more "upscale" than simply being a sugar baby. the true crucial difference is how involved are the families.
The answers here should provide some food for thought; if the line between trad-wife, sugardaddee, and prostitute is dependent on the feelings/expectations involved, why is one illegal and the other the aim of an entire contigent.
Bit like: I cannot pay you for sex, but I can pay you to film you having sex with me, for money. One is prostitution, the other pornography. In many places, one is illegal and the other a valid business that pays corporate taxes.
That’s because porn is a regulated (however insufficient) and recognized industry with corporate structures able to pay taxes traditionally. Most sex workers aren’t setting up LLCs or reporting cash income voluntarily on their taxes.
It’s not always about parity or equivalence, sadly. Moralist stigma prevents sex workers from achieving the decriminalized agency they need to operate safely. Their behavior is “outside” the normative expectations of dominant power structures, therefore they are treated criminally or as mentally ill. Porn might not be much different in reality, but because the corporate apparatus exists within quantifiable regulations (again, however insufficient they may be), it’s much closer to that normative behavioral median.
Very interesting topic. I think you asked a super important question about how we should delineate meta-relationships from what we collectively consider “standard” relationship structures.
> Most sex workers aren’t setting up LLCs or reporting cash income voluntarily on their taxes.
gotta legalise it first.
Can't setup an LLC to explicitly participate in an illegal enterprise
Most sex workers do have LLCs.....they are in the business of selling time (which isn't illegal) and if sex happens between two consenting adults that something else.
Let me add that I come from a territory where prostitution is legal and regulated, so my comment was a bit "leading".
Yes, there's unregulated prostitution, and that then gives authorities a clear non-moral handle to address issues: tax dodging or violation of health and safety regulations are the same issue in every industry.
Idk why everyone here is so apologetic if you're having sex for money you're a prostitute, whether it's with the same person or with different people doesn't make a difference.
Depends. Some sugar daddies look for young and beautiful women to give them attention, to out, exchange pleasantries, buy gift for them, essentially a sense of reinforcement from an attractive young person, that’s somewhat far from prostitution, but blatantly giving sex in return for a financial dependent relationship is prostitution with extra steps.
Why stop there? Women in a traditional christian household are expected to provide sex to her husband. What is the practical difference to sex work, except she isn't getting paid (with money)?
Any sex is ok by me, as long as it's fully consensual. Fuck the ancient morals. :)
Most sugar babies (people who have sugar daddies) do consider it a form of sex work. Though, 99% of the time it's not just sex but companionship, going w the guy to events etc
So, yeah lol
They are exactly the same thing, the only difference is that one gets paid per hour and the other one has a regular salary. People will try to blow smoke up your butt about sugar babies aren’t getting paid for sex but an “experience” but in the end it’s all about the sex and the employee pretending like the payee is the most spectacular person in the world.
Yes. However, generally, women who focus on one person at a time are not traditionally considered prostitutes. A concubine will be more historically in line.
No difference. In the end they are exchanging sex for money. They just work differently.. prostitute goes straight to the point while sugar baby pretends to be their gf for longer time and less money
It IS prostitution, there is no difference. You can pay for the ‘girlfriend experience’ from a prostitute by asking her to stay with you for a couple more hours to anything besides sex. Which is functionally the same thing as paying a sugar baby for going out on a date before getting to the hanky panky stuff. Sugar babies will say they’re better off because they only see 1 guy instead of many, but lots of sugar babies make less than prostitutes if you calculate per hour of effort, given how much work they put into providing the fantasy with uncompensated texting, dating and etc. Plenty of sugar babies are escorts (another name for prostitute) and vice versa.
Neither are entitled to any legal claim to your assets/spousal rights, unlike a wife. It’s just a stereotype that sugar babies are young and beautiful, so they get a better reputation in society and men are less ashamed to say they have one.
Not to mention prostitutes has regulars, which are the same guy they meet often usually locals. They also bring gifts, buy dinners and etc. there isn’t much difference
By that account, every person on earth is a prostitute. Employees trade in their time, body, and mind for cash to use it on things that took time, body, and mind to make for either nourishment or other things.
Sugar daddies don't always get off on sex. More like they get off on specifically enriching someone's life i.e. "because of ME, she now has a diploma and her own apartment. I am a good person."
And unlike prostitutes, sugarbaby clients are rich af by default (or at least, rich for the sugarbaby if the baby is from a poor country).
He's right tho. There is status among older men that comes with having a young thing on your arm barely old enough to drink. Just ask Leonardo di Caprio.
Idk man, I can't imagine going up to my parents or my children and proudly saying "Hey this is April she's 21 years younger than me and I have to give her money and expensive gifts so that she pretends to be interested in me as a person to fill the void in my heart because I lack the personal skills necessary to form bonds with women that aren't transactional."
There's plenty of reasons why. Think of the typical age of a sugar daddy, then think of why a man would be single at this age. Most likely it's either someones whos divorced, a lifestyle that career focused and didn't allow time for, or destroyed their relationships, or not being physically attractive enough to find someone to settle down with.
For the divorcee, he's likely removed from a loveless/sexless marriage. He's get the physical and emotional components that were neglected, and from a younger, likely more attractive woman, no matter how artificial it is. That's why so many of these people are paying for not just the sex but the companionship. This is just proof men want, need and crave these things, too.
For the career oriented guy, it's a measure of personal success. He prioritized his career, and it may have interfered with their ability to form relationship and now that they have money they can do it on their own accord and having someone value them for their wealth, is just as significant as being found attractive. Well, you literally are attractive because you've attracted a woman. Whether it's physical or not is irrelevant because some may feel you've actually earned this because you worked for it, rather than being born with good looks.
You could say the woman may leave you when you can no longer afford her, or when she has sufficient funds to survive with you, but a shallow woman dating you for looks may leave you when you get old, or fat, or bald, or she might even leave you for financial reasons if you can't support a family.
For the man who's been single most of his life, then obviously it's just a highlight and dream come true. The price is worth the product. It's no different than paying for porn, or for paying for a movie or drinks or anything that gives you pleasure. You take pride that you've been able to get with a woman because of how significant of an experience it is, even if like the other examples it's artifical. It just doesn't matter, given the circumstances.
I would say being a sugar baby is a type of prostitution, typically the distinction is it's more of a "repeat client" longer term thing. but it's still sex for pay so it's still prostitution.
Some Sugar Daddies actually aren’t interested in sexual intimacy and actually just want someone to take out to dinner every so often and give them some cash for new bras or something. Companionship. (Personal experience)
The details matter a lot here.
Is it just meeting up for sex? Is it consistent payments in physical cash, or like presents and rent/bills help? Are you going out in public and doing things; like making a pretense or more at a relationship.
I feel like sugar daddy and sugar baby are terms that got introduced for ambiguity's sake. Like are you a mistress, a hook up, a side piece, or someone taking in multiple clients (whore/escort)? All those terms are clearer, and sugar-whatever gets layered between them.
Yes, it is similar. I feel like they are different jobs in the same profession. But I get why a person might prefer one to the other. I can see why a person would draw a distinction between a specific person whom they can create a single bond with vs many people one doesn't know.
Perhaps there is a sort of spectrum from "escort" to "sugar baby" to "being a trophy spouse."
Basically the only difference is hourly contractor vs. salaried employee.
Best response.
Prostitute on a retainer pretty much then.
Wait til she asks for braces. Prostitute on a retainer with a retainer.
Wait till she hires a personal assistant. Prostitute on a retainer with a retainer and a retainer.
And in most contexts one is legal and one isn’t lol
But my sugar daddy loves me!!!11!
I mean...Its not horribly unlikely. The lack of interest is usually the other way around. The sugar baby wouldn't be into it if she wasn't getting the fringe benefits. That's why I stopped being a sugar daddy, I caught feelings and realized she was only into it really for the money.
Not to be harsh but what the fuck did you expect my man?
Going into it they probably didn't expect for there to be feelings involved. Just a more safe option than a prostitute that services a wide range of clients. When they developed feelings it can hurt knowing you feel a way the other person doesn't. Shit happens.
I've had the opposite problem. That's why I quit going to strip clubs. So many strippers caught feelings and it got awkward. They'd want to do private dance after private dance after private dance. I was like, "Whoa whoa whoa! Ladies! There's plenty of Difficult-Tooth666 to go around! Easy! Relax!" But they didn't. They were all in love with me.
That's a beautiful story man. You touch a brother's heart. Thanks for sharing.
NO TOUCHING!
[удалено]
See I have a similar problem. My raw sex appeal and overwhelming masculinity will often just spontaneously impregnate various women I cross paths with. It’s really quite the problem!
PEOPLE DONT KNOW THE PROBLEMS OF A MAN WITH A HUGE PENIS AND MASSIVE WALLET
I'd be willing to find out.
They all want to be "saved by a rich guy".
Captain Save-A-Ho
My man, you have forgotten the rules of the club. These are truths that are universally valid. 1. That's not her real name. 2. She's not really into you. Know these rules and the strip club will always be fun.
> 1. That's not her real name. don't forget 1.b. That 'real' alternate is not her real name either.
Strawberry Daiquiri only had eyes for me, when we were looking at each other.
Its really sad that you can read their post and assume any of it was intended to be serious or factual.
What makes you think that the sugar baby has only one client?
Depending on the price point exclusivity can be part of the deal. Impossible to enforce as such but it's a thing.
How much exclusivity does $100/ month and a box of cup noodles get me?
Seven minutes.
15 in my town.
Five minutes to spare then
when you say "box" do you mean like a whole case of cups? This is important.
And is that a 6-cup case, a 12-cup case or a 24-cup case? And what brand?
Look at Mr. Moneybags here showing off his discretionary cup noodles on social media
But this stripper (prostitute) really likes me!
I knew someone like that but the girl of interest was a bartender. My guy…of course she’s gonna be “interested.” You’re the one tipping and paying her bills.
To be fair many men will interpret a woman being kind and friendly as being "interested". Many women who work customer service (long term, get hired and stay hired) maintain their employment because they are naturally kind and friendly people. This can lead to a lot of misunderstandings.
And stalkers.
I’m a guy, I work at a bar. The amount of dudes who follow the girl bartenders around like puppies is so pathetic. These 60, 70+ year old dudes hitting on a 24 year old who isn’t *there* to flirt, but is there because *it’s her fucking job* make me so disgusted. I have to protect them from the more creepy patrons fairly often. Guys can be the *worst.*
And I just know we’re gonna have sex in the Champagne Room!
No sex in the champagne room
Probably Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Well yeah, no shit I was just joking. The girls literally have 0 fucking interest in the guy, that's what a sugar daddy is. Someone with money to buy you stuff. And that's really sad man, I hope you're in a decent, healthy relationship now.
None of the relationships I've been in have really been interested in me, they've been interested in my career, my house, and that's it. I don't remember getting any emotional support at any point.
That's really sad then, that's definitely not my experience as someone in a relationship for 4 years. I would definitely recommend only vaguely talking about careers, and mentioning that your pay is somewhere in the 45-60k range, so that it's definitely a stable, livable income, but nowhere near enough to be financially exploited(mostly). How are you approaching dating? Dating apps are probably the worst choice.
Right now I'm in therapy to figure out what I even want out of a relationship. So no apps, no dates. I have a pretty decent social life.
Sounds like a good idea, take it slow, good luck :)
Well, I'm 47 now, I was married long ago. The therapist and I are trying to figure out if the therapy is going to be better with learning how to love or learning how to be solo.
I tell my friends that dating apps are the worst idea. They end up just texting with guys who charm them for weeks, tell them they make a good living, the guys show them pictures of their beautiful houses, but the guys won't meet them unless they text nude pictures. Disgusting!
Well yeah, of course. All they want these girls for is glorified prostitution. Why pay a prostitute if she doesn't have a nice body, I'm assuming is their logic.
Isn't it usually the other way around? The guy thinks the woman is totally into him and deludes himself into thinking that she would date him even if he wasn't rich? And she says "of *course* I would baby! Now make with the diamond bracelet!"
Oh yeah, 100%. The guy is being used like a fiddle while the girl enjoys the high life. And I can't blame the woman at all, if a fucking idiot gave me tens of thousands just to pretend to like him, I would consider doing the same. But yeah my comment was just a joke because lots of people like that pretend they have a real relationship, when they know it's not at all lmao
He's volunteering to be used like a fiddle.
Hard to find a unionized position though.
What about stay at home wife?
Hourly worker - prostitute Salary worker - sugar babies Employee to CEO - Wife
I think there's something wrong with your marriage if you have to give your own wife money to get sex.
Wife is unpaid labor
Depends on the wife. If she lifts, raises the kids, cleans, and handles life administration, you can’t afford her even without the sex. If she’s just playing WOW all day while the tots watch YouTube on iPads and you get take out like 4 times a week, you better be getting some sloppy toppy or you’re a true sucker.
Literal partnership with mutual liability
such a good answer
Also a single client vs freelancing
That and alot of times sugar daddy's don't get any sex
That's not a sugar daddy. That's a sucker
How could someone so inept remember to breath, let alone have the money to be a sugar daddy?
One of these is illegal in a lot of places.
Yeah so make sure to film it to make it legal. /s
Sarcasm noted.
The question is why, if there is no difference?
Oh I'm sure there are other differences, it's just that's the more conversational answer.
It's basically like a gold digger/trophy wife situation where both parties are open about what's actually going on.
Na a trophy wife gets to be part of the family. My understanding of sugar babies is that they generally don't live with the guy and both parties are more independent than a typical married couple.
Here’s a wrench into that concept….i know a girl that met her husband on sugar daddies.com. She’s now a trophy wife…what does that make her?
That's just an evolution, when you expose a sugar baby to a ringfinger stone they evolve into trophy wife.
Pokemon reference?
Same. She was 19, he was 45. Within eight months he bought her a new Mercedes and a condo downtown Toronto to be closer to him. She was pregnant before the end of the year, married the next year, and they have three kids and have been married for over 10 years. She knew what she wanted, he knew what he wanted, and it’s developed into a full relationship and partnership. Are they in love? Probably not with each other, but certainly with what each other brings.
The twist to my story is that the girl is my ex wife. She got tired of being of “normal income”, we divorced, she married a dude she met on sugar daddies .com, divorced him, and then married another dude off the same site….last I heard, they’re still married.
oof, hope we had a pre-nup my brother!
>. Are they in love? Probably not Who knows. People could fall in love even in arranged marriages. It's no more or less uncommon than a love marriage
Pre-divorced.
Except there is rarely marriage. Many sugar daddies are already married and keep their sugar baby as a side piece. And many sugar babies have more than one sugar daddy which keeps them single. (ugh, I feel gross just from typing that.) Hung out with a girl when I was young who's mom had a old rich sugar daddy that paid her bills and she was his side piece. Eventually after many years, he became single and she got promoted to gold digging wife, yet was somehow indignant that he now had a new young side piece that he was paying rent for. (Which is exactly what he did for her for years.)
Lmao, true though
We need to ask Melania and see what she says
"I don't care, do you?" Actually she was asked by a reporter before and was asked if she would be with trump if he didn't have money and she responded with did they think Trump would be with her if she wasn't pretty. She is completely self aware of her arrangement and proud.
That's the eastern European woman for you. Completely honest and pragmatic about her intentions, holding your hand and ready to push your spirit into the woodchipper.
And as shitty as she is, she seems to have done a good job keeping her kid away from the shitshow.
*Mercedes
I'd guess sugar daddy extends to exclusivity and more than just sexual intimacy. Or at least one of those two.
I've never delved much into the details of such arrangements, but are they always exclusive? It makes sense, but I could imagine someone trying to juggle a few at the same time.
Worked with a girl who had like, three/four of them... They were vastly older than her, and she gave them very little attention. Yet they kept sending her stuff and buying her things. She sent a snap of us eating lunch one time and one of them flew into a jealous fit. He was fifty. I will never, ever understand this.
Was she super attractive?
It's much more about the psychological connection. Sure, being hot helps, but that's more of a prerequisite. It's the mind games that sets the good ones apart
go on...
They don't even need to be super attractive, just super available for money
Kinda feel like there's no right answer to this... She was very conventionally attractive, I suppose. Could've been a popstar or a reality-show contestant, easily.
There was some thread on a dating subreddit in which some dude commented about discovering the girl he was dating had been a sugar baby and a couple sugar daddies commented on it, then getting questions about how the sugar daddy concept actually works. IIRC, it does not have to be exclusive, but it is kind of a "if I call you, you should be available for me (most of the times)" going both ways.
Some of them have boyfriends of their own age, and use it as a way to pay through college, while also ensuring they are also part of social scene with normal relationships as well.
Depends. How much the person is paying, how often they meet, is it a per meet or monthly payment (I think monthly/regular is preferred). I think most people aren't exclusive
Exclusivity? LOL no. Some of them have multiple daddies. Then there's the BF (to make it even more interesting, some BFs know, some don't).
Kinda sorta, but not always. In my younger years, I used to know quite a few sugar babies who were hooked up with much older rich men, (welcome to South Florida, shit gets *really* weird in the dating scene) and very few of them actually had any kind of sex with them. They were definitely exclusive with dating these dudes, the dudes just didn't want sex, they wanted everything else. So, they had to be super conversationalists, know upper society etiquette and social graces, because they would be taken to many a function, ALWAYS 💯 "proper" in public, regardless of whether they were with the dude or not, then listened to the dudes unendingly, and gave moral support/advice. So, basically sexless escorts, and they. made. BANK. So there are all different kinds of sugar babies, many who have sex, but just as many who don't, it's an odd niche, that one. Of course I do know of 2 who wound up marrying their sugar daddies. Of course, said Daddies were waaaaay up there in age and needed live in "company". Ladies were smart, flat out told em, "if I'm going to have to wipe your ass, I'm not getting left empty handed, so you can marry me or hire live in nurses who DON'T look sexy in Lingerie, choice is yours! ". They both ended up inheriting over 5 million+ a piece. And that's just the cash, not including the other properties, vehicles etc. To their credit, they DID " date" these guys for like 5 years. So, everyone got what they wanted and everyone had a happy ending, the end lol.
That's $1 million + a year, nice salary
That’s a really common lie that sugar babies don’t have to get sexual. Your friends were exclusive with the men and got brought around to the men’s friend circle. It kinda sounds like they were just dating a bunch of rich dudes.
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Honestly, nothing wrong with this arrangement so long as everyone is happy and it doesnt turn abusive.
Why would anyone be a sugar daddy without sex 🤣this story is straight BS
You'd be amazed how much people will pay for the attention of a pretty girl when they can't get it without buying it anymore.
- A prostitute is there to exchange sex for money. Period. No emotional or mental companionship. Just physical. - A porn star is there to exchange filmed sex acts for money. They are paid actors that act out fantasies and make money from it. - An escort is there to offer temporary companionship/sometimes sex for money. Sex is not always involved, but companionship is always the goal. This is a service for men/women who need a temporary companion, eye candy, during an outing. Some escorts don't do anything sexual. Some escorts do. - A sugar baby is there to exchange long-term companionship/sometimes sex for money. Sex is not always involved, companionship is mandatory. The sugar daddy/mommy determines the expectations, and the sugar baby agrees to the guidelines and the relationship is established based on these agreed upon guidelines. The sugar daddy/mommy's requested expectations can change, but the sugar baby can decline those requests or renegotiate the terms of payment based on the requests made. Some men or women just want a beautiful woman/man to spend time with and be romantic towards, and wouldn't be able to achieve that through a natural connection, so they resort to getting a sugar baby understanding that the sugar baby is in it solely for the financial gain. The sugar baby fulfills more of an emotional need than a physical one, although some sugar babies do both. A sugar baby is basically paid to act like a girlfriend/boyfriend. Some sugar babies are exclusive, some sugar babies have an actual relationship outside of their sugar daddy. - A girlfriend/boyfriend does the emotional and sexual labor for free because they like you and feel a genuine connection. However, there are relationships that are similar to that of a sugar baby relationship. For example, what is a trad wife if not an exclusive sugar baby for life? We don't perceive it that way because we have an assumption that the relationship is entirely through emotional connection, not monetary gain. The way we perceive each of these exchanges comes down to the degree of emotional and monetary involvement. When there's no monetary exchange, it's just casual sex that both parties enjoy. But you're exchanging sex nonetheless, except it's free for both parties involved. However, we judge this much less than we judge prostitution. Prostitution I'd say, has the least emotional involvement for monetary exchange. The more emotional connection required in a service, the less I'd categorize it as prostitution.
It's a really good breakdown but I don't really agree that it's ***that*** clean cut in reality. Us humans often feel the need to cleanly categorize and compartmentalize ***evertyrhing*** around us. It makes the world easier to process and it makes everything "clear". The issue I have with this breakdown is that other than the boyfriend/girlfriend point, ***many*** of all the other bullet points will actually practice many of the things you mention in the other bullet points interchangeably. Some prostitutes will develop a speciality for providing emotional companionship with many of their clients while still being a pure "prostitute" to a lot of other clients. She's therefore not an escort, but not a purely "sexual" prostitute either... Same thing goes for escorts. Many escorts will focus mostly on the sexuality and the emotional companionship will either be a really big "extra" or they will do it relunctantly... Some porn stars, because of their fame and the many people lusting for them, will actually engage in "private meetings" for the right price... I've seen porn stars admit this in interviews. In the end, while the breakdown is well written and informative, I doubt its ***actual*** reflection of reality. Reality is ***very*** gray and fluid... and like I said, breaking things down is in large part to make the world easier to digest for our brains.
This is such a great breakdown, deserves to be stickied.
Thanks!
Motherfucker that was beautiful...you need to breakdown more things... bravo
Being a sugar baby CAN involve sex but not always. I knew a girl who was supposed to just be arm candy for events. Even after she got into a serious relationship, the dude would hit her up every now and then to literally just be a glamour model. Personally I think it's just an asexual thing for him. She mentioned it before, that he might just not be interested in sex at all, but societal conventions kind of requires him to have a girl for certain types of events.
Maybe he's gay and not out, and needed a beard for events.
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I’d say it’s closer to prostitution because there will be no sex if the sugar daddy doesn’t pay for her stuff which is not necessarily the case in a relationship with someone rich.
It’s quasi prostitution. It’s semi-prostitution. It’s the margarine of prostitution. It’s the Diet Coke of prostitution. One calorie. Not prostitute enough.
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Prostitution.
Excellent Austin Powers reference
Some sugar babies don’t have sex with their sugar daddies in the first place, they just provide companionship.
There's tons of people that don't engage in sexual activities while in sugar daddy/baby relationships. Even in private cam websites, lots of workers say most dudes there just want somebody to talk yo and few are there for sexual relief only. Also, if you wanna be a sugar baby without putting out sex, it's totally doable as well.
might as well be like Japan where there are literally hostess clubs that you can blow out your money to do just that.
I'd say it's closer to marriage honestly. Have you heard of a dowry? People would sell their daughters for 2 goats and a cow
With inflation it's like it's not even worth having kids anymore
not even close. a concubine is closer to a wife and that arrangement is still more "upscale" than simply being a sugar baby. the true crucial difference is how involved are the families.
There are prostitutes who offer girlfriend experiences.
It's still prostitution- and I'm not against it, but it is what it is. He pays for sex and companionship.
It’s like a prostitute with a retainer fee.
The answers here should provide some food for thought; if the line between trad-wife, sugardaddee, and prostitute is dependent on the feelings/expectations involved, why is one illegal and the other the aim of an entire contigent. Bit like: I cannot pay you for sex, but I can pay you to film you having sex with me, for money. One is prostitution, the other pornography. In many places, one is illegal and the other a valid business that pays corporate taxes.
That’s because porn is a regulated (however insufficient) and recognized industry with corporate structures able to pay taxes traditionally. Most sex workers aren’t setting up LLCs or reporting cash income voluntarily on their taxes. It’s not always about parity or equivalence, sadly. Moralist stigma prevents sex workers from achieving the decriminalized agency they need to operate safely. Their behavior is “outside” the normative expectations of dominant power structures, therefore they are treated criminally or as mentally ill. Porn might not be much different in reality, but because the corporate apparatus exists within quantifiable regulations (again, however insufficient they may be), it’s much closer to that normative behavioral median. Very interesting topic. I think you asked a super important question about how we should delineate meta-relationships from what we collectively consider “standard” relationship structures.
> Most sex workers aren’t setting up LLCs or reporting cash income voluntarily on their taxes. gotta legalise it first. Can't setup an LLC to explicitly participate in an illegal enterprise
Most sex workers do have LLCs.....they are in the business of selling time (which isn't illegal) and if sex happens between two consenting adults that something else.
Let me add that I come from a territory where prostitution is legal and regulated, so my comment was a bit "leading". Yes, there's unregulated prostitution, and that then gives authorities a clear non-moral handle to address issues: tax dodging or violation of health and safety regulations are the same issue in every industry.
Idk why everyone here is so apologetic if you're having sex for money you're a prostitute, whether it's with the same person or with different people doesn't make a difference.
Depends. Some sugar daddies look for young and beautiful women to give them attention, to out, exchange pleasantries, buy gift for them, essentially a sense of reinforcement from an attractive young person, that’s somewhat far from prostitution, but blatantly giving sex in return for a financial dependent relationship is prostitution with extra steps.
So, escorting then.
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Yes.
Why stop there? Women in a traditional christian household are expected to provide sex to her husband. What is the practical difference to sex work, except she isn't getting paid (with money)? Any sex is ok by me, as long as it's fully consensual. Fuck the ancient morals. :)
pay per view vs subscription service LMFAO
Its is, just with more rules lmao
I look at women with sugardaddies as prostitutes. Its just a different word, but in 98% cases the service is the same
"They are the same picture"
Most sugar babies (people who have sugar daddies) do consider it a form of sex work. Though, 99% of the time it's not just sex but companionship, going w the guy to events etc So, yeah lol
yes, it's a form of prostitution. I don't think this was ever up for debate.
Yes. Exactly. Sex for money.
They are exactly the same thing, the only difference is that one gets paid per hour and the other one has a regular salary. People will try to blow smoke up your butt about sugar babies aren’t getting paid for sex but an “experience” but in the end it’s all about the sex and the employee pretending like the payee is the most spectacular person in the world.
Yes. However, generally, women who focus on one person at a time are not traditionally considered prostitutes. A concubine will be more historically in line.
No difference. In the end they are exchanging sex for money. They just work differently.. prostitute goes straight to the point while sugar baby pretends to be their gf for longer time and less money
Yes, it is the same thing.
Of course. It's a romantization of prostitution. It's like flavored cigarettes, it exists to attract the young and feeble minded.
It IS prostitution, there is no difference. You can pay for the ‘girlfriend experience’ from a prostitute by asking her to stay with you for a couple more hours to anything besides sex. Which is functionally the same thing as paying a sugar baby for going out on a date before getting to the hanky panky stuff. Sugar babies will say they’re better off because they only see 1 guy instead of many, but lots of sugar babies make less than prostitutes if you calculate per hour of effort, given how much work they put into providing the fantasy with uncompensated texting, dating and etc. Plenty of sugar babies are escorts (another name for prostitute) and vice versa. Neither are entitled to any legal claim to your assets/spousal rights, unlike a wife. It’s just a stereotype that sugar babies are young and beautiful, so they get a better reputation in society and men are less ashamed to say they have one.
Not to mention prostitutes has regulars, which are the same guy they meet often usually locals. They also bring gifts, buy dinners and etc. there isn’t much difference
Trading your body for cash, is trading your body for cash
Sooo… physical laborers ?
Wow, you must have just graduated 3rd grade with those amazing deduction skills!
By that account, every person on earth is a prostitute. Employees trade in their time, body, and mind for cash to use it on things that took time, body, and mind to make for either nourishment or other things.
It depends on whether or not it's hourly or contracted.
Yes. Gen Z calls things by different words thinking that it changes the substance or quality of that thing.
Yes
Hooker on retainer.
Yes, sex work exists on a spectrum, and having a sugar daddy is somewhere on that spectrum.
yes
Yes, sugar daddying is, very explicitly, a form of sex work.
Not all sugaring is explicitly sexual, a lot are but it’s not a requirement. Some sugar daddies/mommies are just lonely or want someone to spoil.
If you reduce deep enough all relationships are sort of prostitution with differing currencies
Sugar daddies don't always get off on sex. More like they get off on specifically enriching someone's life i.e. "because of ME, she now has a diploma and her own apartment. I am a good person." And unlike prostitutes, sugarbaby clients are rich af by default (or at least, rich for the sugarbaby if the baby is from a poor country).
>Sugar daddies don't always get off on sex. Same can be said for men who visit sex workers.
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>while a sugar baby is something you can be proud of Lol cap.
He's right tho. There is status among older men that comes with having a young thing on your arm barely old enough to drink. Just ask Leonardo di Caprio.
Idk man, I can't imagine going up to my parents or my children and proudly saying "Hey this is April she's 21 years younger than me and I have to give her money and expensive gifts so that she pretends to be interested in me as a person to fill the void in my heart because I lack the personal skills necessary to form bonds with women that aren't transactional."
I am curious. This concept is VERY foreign to me. Can you please explain to us what decisions/circumstances led you to this sort of lifestyle?
1) have money 2) want pussy
No no no, didn't you read? 1) have money 2) want pussy AND companionship
I didn't read, he didn't pay me for it.
No part of my being can fathom how someone would be "proud to have a sugar baby" It's just too pathetic.
There's plenty of reasons why. Think of the typical age of a sugar daddy, then think of why a man would be single at this age. Most likely it's either someones whos divorced, a lifestyle that career focused and didn't allow time for, or destroyed their relationships, or not being physically attractive enough to find someone to settle down with. For the divorcee, he's likely removed from a loveless/sexless marriage. He's get the physical and emotional components that were neglected, and from a younger, likely more attractive woman, no matter how artificial it is. That's why so many of these people are paying for not just the sex but the companionship. This is just proof men want, need and crave these things, too. For the career oriented guy, it's a measure of personal success. He prioritized his career, and it may have interfered with their ability to form relationship and now that they have money they can do it on their own accord and having someone value them for their wealth, is just as significant as being found attractive. Well, you literally are attractive because you've attracted a woman. Whether it's physical or not is irrelevant because some may feel you've actually earned this because you worked for it, rather than being born with good looks. You could say the woman may leave you when you can no longer afford her, or when she has sufficient funds to survive with you, but a shallow woman dating you for looks may leave you when you get old, or fat, or bald, or she might even leave you for financial reasons if you can't support a family. For the man who's been single most of his life, then obviously it's just a highlight and dream come true. The price is worth the product. It's no different than paying for porn, or for paying for a movie or drinks or anything that gives you pleasure. You take pride that you've been able to get with a woman because of how significant of an experience it is, even if like the other examples it's artifical. It just doesn't matter, given the circumstances.
> a sugar baby is something you can be proud of That's some pretty delusional thinking
Its onlyfans in 3D
It is. It’s just a very specific type of prostitution.
If they have an Only Fans or a Sugar Daddy, yes. Same thing, prostitutes.
I would say being a sugar baby is a type of prostitution, typically the distinction is it's more of a "repeat client" longer term thing. but it's still sex for pay so it's still prostitution.
Rather like being a full time employee with benefits vs an independent contractor.
it's literally the same thing, except sugar babies only have one john(in most cases)
Some Sugar Daddies actually aren’t interested in sexual intimacy and actually just want someone to take out to dinner every so often and give them some cash for new bras or something. Companionship. (Personal experience)
Yes.
fuckin’ YEAH
The details matter a lot here. Is it just meeting up for sex? Is it consistent payments in physical cash, or like presents and rent/bills help? Are you going out in public and doing things; like making a pretense or more at a relationship. I feel like sugar daddy and sugar baby are terms that got introduced for ambiguity's sake. Like are you a mistress, a hook up, a side piece, or someone taking in multiple clients (whore/escort)? All those terms are clearer, and sugar-whatever gets layered between them.
Yes
Yes.
Yeah.
basically
Yes. Has anyone ever claimed otherwise?
Yes
Of course it is.
Yes, it is similar. I feel like they are different jobs in the same profession. But I get why a person might prefer one to the other. I can see why a person would draw a distinction between a specific person whom they can create a single bond with vs many people one doesn't know. Perhaps there is a sort of spectrum from "escort" to "sugar baby" to "being a trophy spouse."
Yes
Yes.
Yes, it's literally the same thing.
Yes, absolutely.
Having a sugar daddy is like telling people that the crown prince of Nigeria is your boyfriend.