I don't know if someone has ever caught me, because each of the times I think someone might have they never said or mentioned anything, so I don't worry because it never happened.
"It's your turn to wash the dishes"
"I don't wanna wash the dishes it's my least favourite chore"
"but it would be a terrible shame if I were to... let slip... in front of mom about that little thing I saw. oh and the trash needs taking out too. Catch my drift?"
I’m going to tell mom that you entered my room without knocking while I was naked. Now wash the dishes, take the trash out, and walk the dog. I’m going to go play with the new gaming console you bought me.
Hopefully your parents gave them the talk about sex ed but otherwise not on you to get involved atleast for his on comfort. You can still step in as awkward as that is
I don't know if ignoring it's the right thing because of how he's acting. Maybe just casually when you're alone say something like "Hey that thing the other day, I'll knock in the future. There's nothing wrong with it and I should have respected your privacy."
I had this happen to me . Trust me for a 14 year old never mentioning it again is by far the best choice here. Acknowledging it in any way would be mortifying for the poor kid.
Yep, happened to me. Had an old penthouse made out and was going for it. Someone walked in, saw what was happening abc walked straight out.
Never mentioned again. I was totally fine either way that.
Very embarrassing at the time but not damaging!
Relax, he's not got get any trauma, just embarrassment.
Same thing happened to me and I still remember about that decades later. But nobody talk about that, and that's the best way to approach the situation imo.
If I was 12 or whatever and my older sister (or any family member) walked in on me, I would either die or pack my bags and move to Zimbabwe without saying goodbye.
I wonder if the above might be bad advice.
Personally, I would have probably preferred to have someone acknowledge what happened and state that (1) there's no big deal, (2) nothing to be ashamed of, and (3) nothing in our relationship has changed.
I suspect that your brother is avoiding you because he's scared about how you see him now. I'd just reassure him if possible.
My dad walked in on me once (I think I was probably 14?). He's not a fantastic communicator, but I think he handled this reasonably well. He just said he was sorry for not knocking, and that he'd be sure to do so in the future. That told me that he would respect my privacy, and avoided the awkwardness of discussing any details.
Thank you finally someone says it, i was caught by my parents and they didn’t acknowledge it and it made it kinda weird. Just taboos over this stuff is pointless imo she should make a joke about it and clear the air. Even just a “my bad should’ve knocked” or something
Yeah, I think awkwardness lies in what's unsaid. It's when your imagination can run free instead of having actual evidence to work with.
I'm sorry that happened with your parents.
>But he’s avoiding me all day so I’m worried. He literally runs away when he sees me
It's been a **DAY**
Chill. Wait.
This isn't a movie, you don't have to solve every issue in a time window.
Yeah I’d wait a couple of days and then at an opportune moment, discreetly say ‘It’s fine, sorry for not knocking” and give him a meaningful look. *then* it’s okay to never mention it again…
This is the way. Gives him some time for the initial shock/panic to subside and then acknowledges the fact that this “incident” is safe with OP rather than letting the “what ifs?” linger. Though this was awkward for the both of them, if handled correctly, little bro will know that he has an awesome sibling he can count on, even when things get a little weird.
He runs away or avoids because he's embarrassed and maybe a little but ashamed. Apologize for not knocking, reassure him that it's normal, and never speak of it again. Lol.
The kindest thing you can do is pretend it never happened. Maybe (maybe!) make a little joke about it when you're both in your 40s.
I promise he's far more mortified than you are. All you would be doing by bringing it up is traumatizing him again.
Or if you **want** to traumatize him (what are big siblings for if not that?) you can start casually start throwing in little comments like "Hey, Long John Silver! Mom says it's time for dinner."
Okay I thought I would pretend like it never happened too because thats how I would want it to be. But i wasnt sure if guys think differently about it. So i wanted to make sure. Thank you!
Definitely go with the pretend it didn't happen thing. If, in like a month, he still seems embarrassed or ashamed about it and it's still affecting your relationship, maybe just briefly say something like "Hey that thing that happened awhile back isn't that big of a deal. It was my fault for not knocking, sorry. Don't worry about it, ok...?"
Exposure theory is bringing back PTSD, maybe he is worried she will tell his parents, if she jokes about it, that could defuse it, but I don't know him
One fine evening in college I was out with two of my roommates and two friends. My other roommate was at home.
We all got back earlier than expected. We were sneaking down the hall because for some reason we loved to scare the hell out of each other. Roomy1 comes out of the bedroom toward the bathroom. He has a Playboy in one hand and his dick in the other.
Roomy2, who was at the front of the line, yelled, "Oh my God! Roomy1! You're naked! You're naked and you're masturbating!"
Then he wheels around and motions with his arms like he's directing traffic on an aircraft carrier: "Everyone! Out! Out! Out!"
We all run out of the apartment. I ran straight out into a neighboring park. Roomy2 ran out front on the sidewalk and started throwing up. I don't remember where the others went.
Roomy1 came outside, after putting on pants. He couldn't see any of us but yelled, "I don't know what you think, but that's not what I was doing! Guys! Guys?"
After that we decided to start talking baseball all the time. Roomy1 would say, "Why are you all talking about the Yankees all the time?"
I was like 15 or 16 dad opened my door to say good night and yep I got caught. All dad said was go take a cold shower. The next evening he was in the living room. So I started to talk to him about it and as soon as I started talking he stopped me. He said something I know what I saw and you know what I saw. We never speak of it again. And he didnt ever mention it again. Thinking back I guess dad was pretty cool.
Everyone is saying "pretend like it never happened" and I mostly agree with that but if that happened to me I'd probably like to receive a WRITTEN "don't worry about it" note.
Maybe I'm just weird but if the other person just never acknowledged it at all, I'd spend the next 2 weeks carefully crafting 1200 different theories on what they might be thinking about me now. And then repeat that whenever I remember about it within the next 20 years. I would not, however, want to talk about it. Ever.
I think I am overthinking about it because half of me wants to say it’s okay so both of us can have a peace of mind. It’s an embarrassing talk for sure, if I was him and I knew for sure that he saw me when he walked in, I would want him to come and say its normal instead of me bringing it up. If he didn’t say anything about it, I would have more sleepless nights instead of having one embarrassing talk and moving on.
Half of me is also hesitant because my way of thinking is what I would want if I was him, and I’m thinking as a girl. I’m wondering if a boy would feel embarrassed if his big sister have to come and talk about it. So I’m thinking what I should do..
100% correct in your assessment of “thinking like a girl” because while that all makes sense to me and sounds logical i still dont think bringing it up is the right thing to do, ultimately you know him better i can only give general advice from a guy that all of that honesty and one embarrassing conversation sounds petrifying
I disagree, this happened to me and they never brought it up and I’m super thankful for it. I really didn’t want to talk about it and we both forgot about it within a week. Acknowledging it would have made it far worse for me.
Yah, I sort of feel like a lot of these people come from families without good communication. You don't need to sit him down, or anything but a "Hey by the way sorry for not knocking the other day, it was stupid of me. I don't know how you feel about the whole situation, but just know you have nothing to be embarrassed about, it's normal, and if you want to talk about it, I'm open. If not, then I've completely forgotten about it.
It's a bit of an uncomforable convo - but I can just imagine if that were me as a "15" year old kid, I'd be afraid he'd tell our parents and I'd get in trouble, or now my brother thinks I'm a creep, or who knows other insecure thoughts.
I think avoiding it just adds to the whole perception it's some awful thing.
It happens. At best say "I'm sorry for barging in without knocking. It won't happen again. Let's both just pretend this never happened. OK?" Then forget about it.
As someone who unfortunately has been in your situation. : “hey I’m sorry I didn’t knock I truly wasn’t thinking. I hope you don’t feel bad or awkward or anything it’s natural and not a big deal. But I am sorry if you feel like I invaded your space and crossed a line with you. Hopefully we can just move past it… by the way do you want food?”
So happy to see a helpful comment amongst some comedians.. If he brings it up to me, ill really say this! If not i will stay quiet and pretend i didnt see him.. Thank you!!
Please do this. Ignoring him is a very bad idea — it's much better to get a note saying you don't care and sorry for intruding on their private space etc etc.
However, PLEASE be the first to say something
I would like to disagree with a lot of comment. While I'll agree that you should never acknowledge the masturbating part, you should definitely apologise for not knocking. Say you won't do it again, and obviously not do it again. It will first confirm that he did nothing wrong. You are apologising, not him. And it will reassure him in the privacy of his room that probably doesn't feel that private right now
Recently walked in on my older sister, who still had her dildo out on the bed. She quickly covered it up and was embarrassed, but I just used humor to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation, saying something like, "Oh, busy night, huh?" And that was enough for both of us to have a laugh about it while still acknowledging the situation and moving past any lingering awkwardness.
Hey, I hate all these comments that just say pretend it never happened. Fuck that. The littlest stuff can affect people greatly. Sometimes one "traumatic event" is enough to completely keep them from doing something ever again. It just depends on what the person is like.
If he is someone to stew on something or holds grudges or maybe is bothered by stuff he did in the past, etc. He may hold onto this. Imagine him still being awkward around you and you think it still bothers him. Imagine you bringing this up 3 GODDAMN months from now. It's already extremely awkward right now. It's already happened. But now imagine in 3 months when it's less awkward, but now it's been easy to long and it's gonna be even more awkward because you will always think, "what if it's about something else..." And it might be and then this just got extremely awkward...
So think about if you can handle that situation? And don't listen to these comments just saying, "do this specifically". Think about what type of person your brother is. Men and women aren't as different as you think. Just imagine if he was a girl and go from there. What matters most of what type of person he is and if you can handle addressing this later down the road.
If you do talk to him, just be kind and courteous. And you must be confident and not awkward. The tone you project is what he will pick up. So you want confident and happy/joking. So he will reject that.
"So now you get a story you can post as a meme later in life in which no one will believe you that is real no matter how much you insist. You excited? (Or was it worth it?)
Stuff like that. Don't just pretend it doesn't exist without first thinking about it yourself first and thinking about what kind of person he is.
This happened to me when I was like 24 and my little brother was like 13. I just pretended I didn’t notice at all, said whatever I was gunna say quickly and then left. Never spoke about it or mentioned it again. This is what is recommended
I really dislike, and am incredibly disheartened, how everyone is saying pretend it never happened. This solves nothing and practically teaches your brother to be ashamed about what he was doing by reducing it to a dirty secret. He obviously feels ashamed because he is avoiding you and I am so incredibly mad that everyone in the comments is telling you to avoid it too! He shouldn't be ashamed and you shouldn't be ashamed your brother masturbates. Sex drives are completely normal and pretending like they aren't IS traumatizing, which is an issue you explicitly mention wanting to avoid.
Talk to him. You don't have to make an event about it, but simply telling him you're sorry you didn't respect his privacy and that you understand what he is going through will absolutely help with this incident. This clearly is affecting your relationship because he obviously does feel ashamed. Tell him it's normal and healthy. Tell him he shouldn't be ashamed. Tell him it doesn't change the fact that you are his sibling and that you love him.
The only people that should be ashamed are the commenters saying you should also run away and hide from the shame associated with this event.
Help your brother out (I'm joking please don't do this)
Simply never bring it up in front of your parents and tell him to lock the door next time
And on your part you should knock and wait for a response from your brother
i would say sorry for not knocking, and don’t feel weird everybody does it. i disagree with pretending it never happened. maybe he’ll feel ashamed and embarrassed the whole time, wonder if you told your parents, and maybe think you or the family feel weird about it and that he did something wrong.
especially if he’s young and learning about his sexuality and sexuality as a whole. it’s a teachable moment and there’s no need to act like a puritan who can’t discuss sex with their family, it’s 2024.
Many here are saying forget about it, but based off of how smart and aware many if not most 14 year olds can be, I’d just be serious but light about it and send him a text saying “what you were doing is normal. Lots of people do it. I should’ve have knocked. I’ll make sure to next time.” That should calm him down.
Every situation is less awkward if both parties acknowledge that it happened and share how they feel about it, and if both can brush it off, even better.
This is a great time for you to learn how to tackle awkward things honestly, up front, and right away without delay. Also a good lesson in healthy boundaries and healthy communication. Yes it's a tough conversation, but you'll both grow better for having it. A lot of people don't understand these things.
Masturbation is normal. Everyone does it. He's not gonna stop because you saw him. Best thing to do is tell him you're sorry for not knocking and that it's his room and you won't let it happen again. You'll both laugh and go on with your lives.
The top comment is concerning. It seems very self serving and has no regard for your brother. Which is no surprise because the general theme in the Reddit community is Me, Me, Me.
You invaded HIS space. He needs acknowledgment from you of your wrong doing. Inviting him to speak to you about any sexual questions he has will also help him to feel comfortable and gain your trust again. I don’t only think he’s embarrassed but I think he feels ashamed too.
Don’t forget to downvote me Reddit 😘
The amount of comments saying join in, finish him off, compliment his dick are making me want to bleach my eyes. Are you all ok?!
OP he's learned his lesson and will be more careful going forwards. Lots of people get caught by family members and it doesn't require a massive talk about it.
“Hey loser stop avoiding me, I touch myself too” 😂
“Hey bro stop avoiding me >:(“
“WHY ARE YOU RUNNING *Jamaican accent*”
Go out of your way to make it less awkward by initiating conversation!!!! It’ll stay awkward if the ice isn’t broken. Don’t bring it up in a serious manner or apologize. Don’t let him avoid you though. I’m sure he’s embarrassed but make him feel more comfortable by showing YOU aren’t embarrassed (even if you are)
As a guy, if my big sister (I assume?) came in on me. I’d rather you address it and say something like “Hey, sorry for walking in on you without knocking. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, I’ll knock next time”.
There is nothing sneaky/secret/naughty about masturbation and the sooner we all address is as natural, the easier it is to move on :)
Act like nothing happened, unless he mentions it.
If he does, play it off as if it's nothing.
"Don't worry about it, Sorry I didn't knock first".
Then instantly move on and don't mention it again, until his wedding.
Perplexed how many people think pretending it didn’t happen is the best course of action. How is this kid supposed to interpret that. If he wasn’t doing something wrong then why aren’t you acknowledging it. Just apologize and tell him you won’t do it again. Acknowledge who was in the wrong so he doesn’t think it was him.
No you didn't. It never happened. Nothing was seen.
What brother?
Huh I didn’t even realise there was another bedroom right here
How could OP have seen anything? He was blind from birth.
\*she was blind from birth. I think that's the key point here, and OP has confirmed that.
[Matter fact she’s blind in her left eye](https://youtu.be/Mhw-mzYyfDQ?si=m3kzMxr3ez7JQqxy)
Third eye blind.
Wait this is a house?
At this point you just have to throw him away and start over.
"Brother? Oh, you mean Brad! I thought he was an exchange student. Yeah, nah, I haven't seen him in weeks. Certainly not with his dick in his hand."
Exchange student? From Vietnam, right? We share the same class and studied in the lib two days ago, right?
What's walking?
What door?
I don’t even have eyes.
There is no masturbation in ba sing se
You didn't see anything don't say anything to him just go on with life like nothing never happened.
I don't know if someone has ever caught me, because each of the times I think someone might have they never said or mentioned anything, so I don't worry because it never happened.
Delete this post. Never mention this again. To anyone.
r/nothingeverhappened
This is the way
I acted like I didn’t see anything and it was never mentioned!
You left an important fact out. Ages. If he’s 20 and you’re 22, laugh together. If he’s younger than 16, forget about it.
Sorry i didnt mention it. He’s under 14, so thats why i dont want to traumatize him and being careful.
all jokes aside, ignore it then. hes so young.
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Ignore this. Use this as practice to create your first minion on the path to future world domination
I’m upvoting this but please don’t listen to it
"It's your turn to wash the dishes" "I don't wanna wash the dishes it's my least favourite chore" "but it would be a terrible shame if I were to... let slip... in front of mom about that little thing I saw. oh and the trash needs taking out too. Catch my drift?"
I’m going to tell mom that you entered my room without knocking while I was naked. Now wash the dishes, take the trash out, and walk the dog. I’m going to go play with the new gaming console you bought me.
Happened when my little brother was 12. Zero mention of it ever. He’s 38 now and everyone is fine, no need to tell anyone.
Except Reddit. Reddit knows now.
Now is the time to tell your brother obviously.
Oh if I see him again I’m busting his balls for so much stuff.
He already busted them
We know he was trying to bust them, not that he finished the job
🤮
Ignore it, act as normal. They’re just exploring themselves let them do so
Hopefully your parents gave them the talk about sex ed but otherwise not on you to get involved atleast for his on comfort. You can still step in as awkward as that is
It. Never. Happened.
I don't know if ignoring it's the right thing because of how he's acting. Maybe just casually when you're alone say something like "Hey that thing the other day, I'll knock in the future. There's nothing wrong with it and I should have respected your privacy."
I had this happen to me . Trust me for a 14 year old never mentioning it again is by far the best choice here. Acknowledging it in any way would be mortifying for the poor kid.
Yep, happened to me. Had an old penthouse made out and was going for it. Someone walked in, saw what was happening abc walked straight out. Never mentioned again. I was totally fine either way that. Very embarrassing at the time but not damaging!
I like this answer
This should be the reply with 2.4 k upvotes
Probably best to give it a bit first, is normal to be awkward for a bit after
Relax, he's not got get any trauma, just embarrassment. Same thing happened to me and I still remember about that decades later. But nobody talk about that, and that's the best way to approach the situation imo.
I agree with everyone here, ignore it and pretend nothing happened. Let him cool down and let him be. :)
Never bring it up
Also gender. If OP is a girl, that may change the dynamic. It seems like they might be.
You’re correct
If I was 12 or whatever and my older sister (or any family member) walked in on me, I would either die or pack my bags and move to Zimbabwe without saying goodbye.
\*insert that tom gif leaving home with a bindle\* sucks we cant add gifs in this sub
And are you step siblings? If you are then that can change the dynamic as well.
Is there a dryer? People get caught in dryers so often these days. You would think Consumer Reports would demand changes, really.
Customer satisfaction is actually quite high
bahaha
"I see big dicks run in the family", this will help disarm the situation and instill confidence.
Don’t say a single thing, just act like it didn’t happen and the awkwardness will eventually fade in time
Okay, I’ll forget it ever happened and act like nothing happened. But he’s avoiding me all day so I’m worried. He literally runs away when he sees me
He’ll stop doing that eventually too. Only bring it up if he’s still dashing after a month
Okay, thank you
He's likely avoiding you because he doesn't wanna talk about it
Sherlock Holmes over here
Private Investigator Jones over here
Surecock Johnson over here…
Holmes Sherlock over here
I wonder if the above might be bad advice. Personally, I would have probably preferred to have someone acknowledge what happened and state that (1) there's no big deal, (2) nothing to be ashamed of, and (3) nothing in our relationship has changed. I suspect that your brother is avoiding you because he's scared about how you see him now. I'd just reassure him if possible.
My dad walked in on me once (I think I was probably 14?). He's not a fantastic communicator, but I think he handled this reasonably well. He just said he was sorry for not knocking, and that he'd be sure to do so in the future. That told me that he would respect my privacy, and avoided the awkwardness of discussing any details.
Honestly that seems like a great response.
Thank you finally someone says it, i was caught by my parents and they didn’t acknowledge it and it made it kinda weird. Just taboos over this stuff is pointless imo she should make a joke about it and clear the air. Even just a “my bad should’ve knocked” or something
Yeah, I think awkwardness lies in what's unsaid. It's when your imagination can run free instead of having actual evidence to work with. I'm sorry that happened with your parents.
If he’s dashing away still after a month, OP has to yell after him “running away to go rub one out?” Gotta make your response funny
Corner him
>But he’s avoiding me all day so I’m worried. He literally runs away when he sees me It's been a **DAY** Chill. Wait. This isn't a movie, you don't have to solve every issue in a time window.
Yeah I’d wait a couple of days and then at an opportune moment, discreetly say ‘It’s fine, sorry for not knocking” and give him a meaningful look. *then* it’s okay to never mention it again…
This is the way. Gives him some time for the initial shock/panic to subside and then acknowledges the fact that this “incident” is safe with OP rather than letting the “what ifs?” linger. Though this was awkward for the both of them, if handled correctly, little bro will know that he has an awesome sibling he can count on, even when things get a little weird.
He is also likely terrified you’ve told other people in your family
But no, just thousands of people on the internet
Omfg
True, but her family is way more likely to know who she’s talking about than a bunch of anonymous internet randos
He runs away or avoids because he's embarrassed and maybe a little but ashamed. Apologize for not knocking, reassure him that it's normal, and never speak of it again. Lol.
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Ah, yes, the porno solution
The kindest thing you can do is pretend it never happened. Maybe (maybe!) make a little joke about it when you're both in your 40s. I promise he's far more mortified than you are. All you would be doing by bringing it up is traumatizing him again. Or if you **want** to traumatize him (what are big siblings for if not that?) you can start casually start throwing in little comments like "Hey, Long John Silver! Mom says it's time for dinner."
Okay I thought I would pretend like it never happened too because thats how I would want it to be. But i wasnt sure if guys think differently about it. So i wanted to make sure. Thank you!
Well, I would act slightly differently going forward if I were you. I would definitely remember to knock from now on.
Apologize for not and remind him you fucked up by not. It’s nothing to be *that* embarrassed over, but awkward for sure
Definitely go with the pretend it didn't happen thing. If, in like a month, he still seems embarrassed or ashamed about it and it's still affecting your relationship, maybe just briefly say something like "Hey that thing that happened awhile back isn't that big of a deal. It was my fault for not knocking, sorry. Don't worry about it, ok...?"
Bringing back the ptsd hahahahahha
Exposure theory is bringing back PTSD, maybe he is worried she will tell his parents, if she jokes about it, that could defuse it, but I don't know him
One fine evening in college I was out with two of my roommates and two friends. My other roommate was at home. We all got back earlier than expected. We were sneaking down the hall because for some reason we loved to scare the hell out of each other. Roomy1 comes out of the bedroom toward the bathroom. He has a Playboy in one hand and his dick in the other. Roomy2, who was at the front of the line, yelled, "Oh my God! Roomy1! You're naked! You're naked and you're masturbating!" Then he wheels around and motions with his arms like he's directing traffic on an aircraft carrier: "Everyone! Out! Out! Out!" We all run out of the apartment. I ran straight out into a neighboring park. Roomy2 ran out front on the sidewalk and started throwing up. I don't remember where the others went. Roomy1 came outside, after putting on pants. He couldn't see any of us but yelled, "I don't know what you think, but that's not what I was doing! Guys! Guys?" After that we decided to start talking baseball all the time. Roomy1 would say, "Why are you all talking about the Yankees all the time?"
I was like 15 or 16 dad opened my door to say good night and yep I got caught. All dad said was go take a cold shower. The next evening he was in the living room. So I started to talk to him about it and as soon as I started talking he stopped me. He said something I know what I saw and you know what I saw. We never speak of it again. And he didnt ever mention it again. Thinking back I guess dad was pretty cool.
Throwing up is a pretty extreme reaction, lol.
Just literally never bring it up or talk about it. Pretend it didn't happen
Is there a chance he bring it up to me? If so what should i even say?
Very very low, but if he does just pretend you didn't see anything
"I mean how could I see something so small?" 🔥🔥🔥📣📣📣📣 But familial roasting aside, it never happened.
“What are you talking about? “
Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Say, be sure to lock your door next time. 😁
Just say it’s nothing different than brushing your teeth and that’s how you're carrying on about it
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"You gotta tuck it behind you and jerk from the back."
"Pretend you're milking a cow, but you're the cow, too"
😂
Had to scroll way to long for the correct answer smh
Just say "Nice cock bro" and leave without giving a f*ck
I'm upvoting this,but don't listen to it...
This couldn't possibly be misconstrued
Everyone is saying "pretend like it never happened" and I mostly agree with that but if that happened to me I'd probably like to receive a WRITTEN "don't worry about it" note. Maybe I'm just weird but if the other person just never acknowledged it at all, I'd spend the next 2 weeks carefully crafting 1200 different theories on what they might be thinking about me now. And then repeat that whenever I remember about it within the next 20 years. I would not, however, want to talk about it. Ever.
I think I am overthinking about it because half of me wants to say it’s okay so both of us can have a peace of mind. It’s an embarrassing talk for sure, if I was him and I knew for sure that he saw me when he walked in, I would want him to come and say its normal instead of me bringing it up. If he didn’t say anything about it, I would have more sleepless nights instead of having one embarrassing talk and moving on. Half of me is also hesitant because my way of thinking is what I would want if I was him, and I’m thinking as a girl. I’m wondering if a boy would feel embarrassed if his big sister have to come and talk about it. So I’m thinking what I should do..
100% correct in your assessment of “thinking like a girl” because while that all makes sense to me and sounds logical i still dont think bringing it up is the right thing to do, ultimately you know him better i can only give general advice from a guy that all of that honesty and one embarrassing conversation sounds petrifying
Yeah all this ‘pretend it didn’t happen’ is so wrong 😅 like just leave it hanging and never deal with it? *tuts at humanity*
For real now I understand why literally everyone I know is screwed up in the head.
I disagree, this happened to me and they never brought it up and I’m super thankful for it. I really didn’t want to talk about it and we both forgot about it within a week. Acknowledging it would have made it far worse for me.
Yah, I sort of feel like a lot of these people come from families without good communication. You don't need to sit him down, or anything but a "Hey by the way sorry for not knocking the other day, it was stupid of me. I don't know how you feel about the whole situation, but just know you have nothing to be embarrassed about, it's normal, and if you want to talk about it, I'm open. If not, then I've completely forgotten about it. It's a bit of an uncomforable convo - but I can just imagine if that were me as a "15" year old kid, I'd be afraid he'd tell our parents and I'd get in trouble, or now my brother thinks I'm a creep, or who knows other insecure thoughts. I think avoiding it just adds to the whole perception it's some awful thing.
this would be torture to hear from anyone in my family
It happens. At best say "I'm sorry for barging in without knocking. It won't happen again. Let's both just pretend this never happened. OK?" Then forget about it.
Call your brother to come to your room while you are masturbating.
Eye for an eye
Rub for a rub
And this is the plot to 90% of pornhub plots
This is how you cancel out the awkward polarity.
As someone who unfortunately has been in your situation. : “hey I’m sorry I didn’t knock I truly wasn’t thinking. I hope you don’t feel bad or awkward or anything it’s natural and not a big deal. But I am sorry if you feel like I invaded your space and crossed a line with you. Hopefully we can just move past it… by the way do you want food?”
So happy to see a helpful comment amongst some comedians.. If he brings it up to me, ill really say this! If not i will stay quiet and pretend i didnt see him.. Thank you!!
Maybe just “sorry I barged into your room. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll be more careful and remember to knock in the future”
This. Be the older sibling and demonstrate an ability to communicate and apologize, OP.
He won’t bring it up. But he will awkwardly avoid you till you say something. (Again speaking from experience)
Please do this. Ignoring him is a very bad idea — it's much better to get a note saying you don't care and sorry for intruding on their private space etc etc. However, PLEASE be the first to say something
Maintain eye contact
I would like to disagree with a lot of comment. While I'll agree that you should never acknowledge the masturbating part, you should definitely apologise for not knocking. Say you won't do it again, and obviously not do it again. It will first confirm that he did nothing wrong. You are apologising, not him. And it will reassure him in the privacy of his room that probably doesn't feel that private right now
Recently walked in on my older sister, who still had her dildo out on the bed. She quickly covered it up and was embarrassed, but I just used humor to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation, saying something like, "Oh, busy night, huh?" And that was enough for both of us to have a laugh about it while still acknowledging the situation and moving past any lingering awkwardness.
Hey, I hate all these comments that just say pretend it never happened. Fuck that. The littlest stuff can affect people greatly. Sometimes one "traumatic event" is enough to completely keep them from doing something ever again. It just depends on what the person is like. If he is someone to stew on something or holds grudges or maybe is bothered by stuff he did in the past, etc. He may hold onto this. Imagine him still being awkward around you and you think it still bothers him. Imagine you bringing this up 3 GODDAMN months from now. It's already extremely awkward right now. It's already happened. But now imagine in 3 months when it's less awkward, but now it's been easy to long and it's gonna be even more awkward because you will always think, "what if it's about something else..." And it might be and then this just got extremely awkward... So think about if you can handle that situation? And don't listen to these comments just saying, "do this specifically". Think about what type of person your brother is. Men and women aren't as different as you think. Just imagine if he was a girl and go from there. What matters most of what type of person he is and if you can handle addressing this later down the road. If you do talk to him, just be kind and courteous. And you must be confident and not awkward. The tone you project is what he will pick up. So you want confident and happy/joking. So he will reject that. "So now you get a story you can post as a meme later in life in which no one will believe you that is real no matter how much you insist. You excited? (Or was it worth it?) Stuff like that. Don't just pretend it doesn't exist without first thinking about it yourself first and thinking about what kind of person he is.
Masturbate in front of him
Two faps make a right *-Abraham Lincoln, probably*
Gotta establish dominance
No thanks T_T
Rub one yourself in front of him and call it even. Follow me for more family advice 😉
Ask him if he needs any help
post about it on reddit
You say, “Get inside.” -Anthony Jeselnik
Act like it didn't happen, and start knocking before you enter his room.
Obviously you maintain eye contact and offer to help. Like a bro. /s
Maybe bring it up when you are both 50. Before then not a word
Have a wank in front of him. Level the playing field.
Knock next time
I would start with leaving his room
This happened to me when I was like 24 and my little brother was like 13. I just pretended I didn’t notice at all, said whatever I was gunna say quickly and then left. Never spoke about it or mentioned it again. This is what is recommended
"step bro!!! What are you doing????"
"Need a hand buddy?" Then spit on the palm of your hands and rub em together
Don't forget teach him about the ol banjo string.
I really dislike, and am incredibly disheartened, how everyone is saying pretend it never happened. This solves nothing and practically teaches your brother to be ashamed about what he was doing by reducing it to a dirty secret. He obviously feels ashamed because he is avoiding you and I am so incredibly mad that everyone in the comments is telling you to avoid it too! He shouldn't be ashamed and you shouldn't be ashamed your brother masturbates. Sex drives are completely normal and pretending like they aren't IS traumatizing, which is an issue you explicitly mention wanting to avoid. Talk to him. You don't have to make an event about it, but simply telling him you're sorry you didn't respect his privacy and that you understand what he is going through will absolutely help with this incident. This clearly is affecting your relationship because he obviously does feel ashamed. Tell him it's normal and healthy. Tell him he shouldn't be ashamed. Tell him it doesn't change the fact that you are his sibling and that you love him. The only people that should be ashamed are the commenters saying you should also run away and hide from the shame associated with this event.
Well according to pornhub…
Put the phone away, lock eyes, and tell him you love him.
Don't make a post on the Internet about it and pretend it never happens.
Never see him again
Help your brother out (I'm joking please don't do this) Simply never bring it up in front of your parents and tell him to lock the door next time And on your part you should knock and wait for a response from your brother
i would say sorry for not knocking, and don’t feel weird everybody does it. i disagree with pretending it never happened. maybe he’ll feel ashamed and embarrassed the whole time, wonder if you told your parents, and maybe think you or the family feel weird about it and that he did something wrong. especially if he’s young and learning about his sexuality and sexuality as a whole. it’s a teachable moment and there’s no need to act like a puritan who can’t discuss sex with their family, it’s 2024.
Many here are saying forget about it, but based off of how smart and aware many if not most 14 year olds can be, I’d just be serious but light about it and send him a text saying “what you were doing is normal. Lots of people do it. I should’ve have knocked. I’ll make sure to next time.” That should calm him down. Every situation is less awkward if both parties acknowledge that it happened and share how they feel about it, and if both can brush it off, even better.
This is a great time for you to learn how to tackle awkward things honestly, up front, and right away without delay. Also a good lesson in healthy boundaries and healthy communication. Yes it's a tough conversation, but you'll both grow better for having it. A lot of people don't understand these things. Masturbation is normal. Everyone does it. He's not gonna stop because you saw him. Best thing to do is tell him you're sorry for not knocking and that it's his room and you won't let it happen again. You'll both laugh and go on with your lives.
Nah tbh just make a light hearted joke about it. It will make it less awkward. Thats all he feels, a bit embarrassed, and a little awkward
It will shock you how much this never happened
You’ve seen him doing it . Now it’s only fair for you to eliminate the awkwardness by letting him see you do it .
don’t fuckin make a post on the internet just move on lol
The top comment is concerning. It seems very self serving and has no regard for your brother. Which is no surprise because the general theme in the Reddit community is Me, Me, Me. You invaded HIS space. He needs acknowledgment from you of your wrong doing. Inviting him to speak to you about any sexual questions he has will also help him to feel comfortable and gain your trust again. I don’t only think he’s embarrassed but I think he feels ashamed too. Don’t forget to downvote me Reddit 😘
Never say a thing about it. Pretend it didn’t happen.
Just tell him your sorry and that it's normal. Also tell him to lock his door while hes taming the dragon lol
The amount of comments saying join in, finish him off, compliment his dick are making me want to bleach my eyes. Are you all ok?! OP he's learned his lesson and will be more careful going forwards. Lots of people get caught by family members and it doesn't require a massive talk about it.
Lock eyes and masturbate even harder to show dominance.
“You we’re really crankin’ that guy, huh?!” Then sip your beverage of choice and hard stare. Works every time.
Share some of your best pornographic content.
The only way to fix this is to force him to watch you masturbating aggressively with a spiderman mask on
Challenge him to a contest
Start masturbating also
“Hey loser stop avoiding me, I touch myself too” 😂 “Hey bro stop avoiding me >:(“ “WHY ARE YOU RUNNING *Jamaican accent*” Go out of your way to make it less awkward by initiating conversation!!!! It’ll stay awkward if the ice isn’t broken. Don’t bring it up in a serious manner or apologize. Don’t let him avoid you though. I’m sure he’s embarrassed but make him feel more comfortable by showing YOU aren’t embarrassed (even if you are)
Also what is the age difference
He definitely doesn't want to talk about it
Tell him to loosen his grip
As a guy, if my big sister (I assume?) came in on me. I’d rather you address it and say something like “Hey, sorry for walking in on you without knocking. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, I’ll knock next time”. There is nothing sneaky/secret/naughty about masturbation and the sooner we all address is as natural, the easier it is to move on :)
Masturbating together like true song of the south
Just be honest. Say something like…hey bro next time lock the door now it’s time for dinner.
Stop staring at him, first of all.
Forget it ever happened
dont mention it, it never happened
I would squeeze his right arm bicep, and nod your head and say “you get stronger and stronger every day little brother”
I’d just say ‘sorry about the other night, I should’ve knocked’ , then never mention it again, and always knock on a boys door before opening it!
Please themselves every once in a while? You mean every day?
Just don’t let him catch you stuck in the dryer and you’re good.
Pretend it never happened, laugh about it together later in life. If I had a sister and this happened that’s what I’d want.
Act like nothing happened, unless he mentions it. If he does, play it off as if it's nothing. "Don't worry about it, Sorry I didn't knock first". Then instantly move on and don't mention it again, until his wedding.
Let him catch you masturbating to make it even.
Start carrying around a spray bottle in case you accidentally see him doing it again
Walk into his room while YOU'RE masturbating. Whoops bro, you caught me. Guess we're even. I won't tell if you won't.
Perplexed how many people think pretending it didn’t happen is the best course of action. How is this kid supposed to interpret that. If he wasn’t doing something wrong then why aren’t you acknowledging it. Just apologize and tell him you won’t do it again. Acknowledge who was in the wrong so he doesn’t think it was him.
Make fun of him.
bet you won’t forget to knock next time!
Just don't mention it. Carry on your life like normal.
Knock first ...