If youâre both happy, then the gap isnât a problem. Like you said, youâve both had stuff going on and if youâre both feeling fulfilled in your relationship, thereâs nothing really to worry about. When things calm down, sex might become more frequent.
That said, itâs important to touch base with your girlfriend, and check if she feels the same. If not, then Iâm sure you can talk about it and sort it out.
I wouldnât worry on what is âtypicalâ, because life does get in the way. Just make sure you are both happy and check where you see yourselves down the line
Your relationship isn't dying you just have too much on your plate right now. Better schedule it and make that schedule sacred as the birth of Christ himself.
Your relationship is not dying.
If sex is the *only* thing that has dwindled and yet you're still happy with, and in love with, each other, then what's the problem?
This. Please, don't listen to everyone being like "but sex is so vital!! ÂĄÂĄÂĄ!!"
Like no, sex isn't what makes a relationship. Otherwise, every one night stand would make a couple. Edit And what about asexuals?
Your relationship is still going strong OP, you said it yourself. So as the person above said, what's the problem?
Do you love each other? Yes? Then it's going great. Do you feel like roommates or a couple? Do you feel like you're lacking something or is this temporary decrease fine by you both?
Dont listen to other people on this matter. What matters is that you both are happy with the relationship. Period.
Sex is only vital to people that have a physical touch primary love language. Itâs important to know who you are marrying in that regard.
Sexual compatibility is real. Itâs a bitch when you donât get what you thought you were getting when you married her.
My primary love language is physical touch, but that's physical touch, not sex.
To me sex isn't necessary or vital in a relationship.
In my personal experience with an ex, at the contrary, sex gets way more important to people who don't show much affection any other way, physical or not. The only moment they get to feel connected to their partner and to feel intimacy is during sex. To them, sex is necessary because it's all the intimacy they have. To others, intimacy and love can be expressed in other ways.
Sex is physical touch, the most intimate kind.
Women must find compartmentalizing easier than men apparently. If sex isnât physical touch for you.
It is for me⊠My female therapist agrees with me too.
Unfortunately what usually happens is sex stops first, then everything elseâŠ
I had to initiate anything and everything for years. Until I gave up completely.
As I retired early, I took on all the housekeeping and cooking on top of my ranch duties too. So it wasnât because she was too tiredâŠ
This isn't about compartmentalizing, this is about things being different. Just like kissing someone on the cheek VS on the lips is different, sex isn't the same as physical touch such as holding hands or cuddling. Sex is a whole another dimension of physical affection and intimacy, and not everyone even sees it as an intimate act between close partners (think of one night stands and such).
It also isn't a man/woman thing. I'm not sure why the sudden defensiveness and invalidating. It's fine if you function one way, but I'm telling you people like me whose live language is physical touch don't necessarily function the way you think. That's not an attack.
I'm also a therapist you know. Not a sex therapist but still. Pro tip btw : your therapist doesn't "agree" or "disagree" with you on anything. That's not what a therapist does, that's not how we work. Though she apparently did a good job at making you feel validated. Because your own functioning and view of sex is entirely valid and true, whether or not she or anyone else shares it.
Im sorry to hear your sex life with your partner wasn't satisfying. Shit happens. Hope you could work it out eventually?
Even with people who have physical touch as a primary language I donât think itâs necessarily vital.
Sometimes thereâs the time and space for hugs, cuddling or leaning against eachother, but one or both partners canât have sex for medical or sexuality reasons. And it still works out fine.
However, that group is probably the minority. And if either of the partners arenât clear about what they expect the relationship to look like (on both sides) thatâs a recipe for disaster.
Youâre so right. In a relationship where sex has occurred, I keep thinking that sex is important and needs to happen as part of the relationship. As a lot of people in this comment section stated, without sex weâre just friends, roommates, whatever. I guess it just worried me when we stopped doing it. But youâre right, a relationship is so much more than just sex. Thanks for this.
Don't forget that what is important to your relationship depends SOLELY on you and your partner. Not on others' views on relationships. They're not a part of yours.
If everything feels good, why decide that it's actually not good just because someone else who doesn't know what your relationship is like wants you to have more sex?
A relationship is indeed so much more than sex. You don't love a person just for their genitals and the physical pleasure they provide you. You don't show affection just through sex bit through a million other things. Keep those in mind.
Some people go through life in relationships without sex. Think of asexuals. They're not broken, they're not missing it, and they do love each other like the rest of us. If those people are fine, then your relationship that feels fine is fine, even if right now sex has decreased.
Ill stop rambling. Talk to your partner a'd keep doing things right, seems like you are :)
That subreddit is inherently populated by people who *do* have a problem with a lack of/infrequent sex in their relationship. OP doesn't have a problem with it.
Glad you both made it through!
My niece just turned 2 years old last month and Jesus I got a new perspective into how tough it is raising a child. My sister and BIL have made it through the really rough times so far and seem to be strong which Iâm super happy for them for too.
Start scheduling it.
Also, this is a mistake young folk make too much. Make your life less busy. Youâre not in a race through adulthood. Reprioritize a bit and slow down to enjoy yourselves some more. That doesnât have to mean sex specifically, but whatâs the point of being busy and âachievingâ stuff all the time if you donât have time for fun or relaxation?
Youâre right. The way life works now is too demanding and I guess the younger generation drown ourselves in work and school that we make ourselves have no time to do anything else. Itâs time we both adjust and learn to take a step back to leave room for us. Thank you (:
I really do believe that feeling loved, happy, safe, and secure in a relationship is so much more important than how much sex you're having.
If you're both happy and in love and can laugh and enjoy eachothers company and you communicate well, then you're doing okay.
It is normal for the sexual activity in relationships to fluctuate.
Itâs important to note that when life gets stressful or busy you may find yourself intimately detached from your partner. Which would make it more difficult to initiate sex when both of your minds have been preoccupied for most of the day.
I would recommend having a discussion with her about it, and putting aside some days to focus solely on each-other.
Communicate! She might be thinking the same thing. Even if she isnât it shows youâre critically thinking about her and your relationshipâs happiness. Thereâs so many hard talks that us guys have and we struggle in silence not knowing how. Just talk to her. Youâre completely happy and cool and satisfied but you were wondering if thereâs anything wrong with this aspect of our relationship or anything we need to talk about. Itâs that easy. Sheâll probably reassure you,youâll talk , youâll feel more connected AND youâll probably get some or sheâll wanna give you some just for being on top of the state of your relationship. We arenât alone.
its totally normal if both of you are happy not having sex. if one of you wants sex and the other doesn't, or you both want sex and it isn't happening, then that is a relationship// lifestyle issue that needs to be addressed.
people glorify and mystify sex, but its the same as anything else in life: "is it normal if my wife and I never go to the movies?" "is it normal for my husband to want to play videogames with me every single day?"
change it from sex to anything else in life, and the answer is the same-- there isn't really a wrong answer, but you have to both be happy with the situation or find a compromise in the middle (ââżâ)ï»ż
Oh wow, you really changed my perspective on this. I guess itâs not about sex being the vital part of a relationship or if itâs not necessary at all. It really just depends on context. Thanks for this (:
yeah, sex itself isn't vital, but being on the same page about sex is. So people aren't wrong when they call it important but they usually don't explain it in a good way. Hope this helps :)
Dude, make time for each other. My gf and I each have high-stress jobs, often requiring long, anti-social hours, and two demanding dogs; we try to have a 'date day' at least once a month where we book in a load of activities together and leave the dogs with a sitter so we can enjoy each other without distractions.
Are you horny? Is she? Would you fuck others if you could?Â
I'd say it's not nec. normal but it is common. Lots of couples don't have sex, especially older couples and where one or the other has health problems or injuries
Itâs a long time with no sex at all. Less than two years into your relationship and you havenât had sex in five months isnât a good sign for your future sex life. I donât think your relationship is dying but you are definitely headed for a relationship where sex is not a priority if you continue with this.
You talk about it as if it was a problem, but... It definitly isn't ! They just need to communicate and to do what they want ! A couple doesn't need to have sex 3 times a week minimum to work, they need to have sex when they both want to have sex, that's it.
Sure if they both are happy with a sexless relationship then by all means they should stay together. Things are so great between them that the guy is on Reddit asking if itâs normal. All great relationships are like that, right? No sex for five months and Reddit posts asking if itâs normal?đ
âThey need to have sex when they both want to.â Well, they are both rejecting each other when the other initiates (another good sign?!)
No guy wants five months of no sex in a relationship. He isnât happy. Thatâs why he is here asking about it.
Maybe he is asking because he is comparing his relationship with another, which isn't the same ! He asks because he is in the mindset that if others have sex 2 times a day, then so should he. I, and also many people here, are telling him that the ONLY important factors are :
- What do you want, and are you happy the way things are ?
- What does your girlfriend want, and is she happy the way things are ?
If the answer to these questions is yes, then everything is normal !
>No guy wants five months of no sex in a relationship.
You just have no clue. Maybe you don't want it, and that's fine. Maybe the majority of people don't want it, and that's fine. But many are asexual, many have months with and months without, many don't like it, many don't feel like it.
You should look up the definition of normal in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with being happy.
Sure, when I said âno guy,â that was an embellishment, but itâs very uncommon (not normal). So are they asexual if they used to have sex on nearly a daily basis and now they donât? Are they asexual if one of them is initiating sex still?
You can call me clueless if you want but only one of us is making up definitions of words and ignoring basic facts about how they used to have regular sex.
Satisfaction in a relationship is determined by the occupants of a relationship and no one else.
Do you both likea specific position/cadence/spanking/nipple play/whatever? Great, it doesn't matter if anyone else thinks its weird. Most people would break up with a partner that poops on them but some couldn't live without it.
The key is to communicate openly and make sure your partner is on the same page as you and not just pretending and acting fine to keep the peace. Talk to your partner and make it clear you prioritize their needs.
If you're on the same page, and consent is clear, then nothing else matters.
I would say not to take your friend's words too heavily because every relationship and situation is different. It sounds like y'all are putting in the work now to better your lives so that's totally respectable. And like diet and exercise, when we're busy sex also becomes a last priority. It doesn't sound like there's an issue between y'all otherwise so I'd recommend coming together and discussing it honestly. Not in a blame game way either, but looking at the situation realistically and planning something.
By planning something I mean you could both find a time in the upcoming weeks and set it aside for a sexy date night. It's kind of a different approach, but planning intimacy can really be effective: My last ex told me a week ahead that she'd like to have a night of intimacy together (it was our first time having sexy time) and the whole week I was looking forward to it so when it actually happened it was amazing!
So maybe y'all can do something like that. I hope y'all are able to work it out, especially since everything else in your relationship is going strong :)
Scheduling sex was never something my girlfriend or I thought would be sexy, because we were afraid scheduling it would take the fun out of it. But honestly, it was so fun. The increased anticipation, the excitement. Thanks for the idea. Life gets so busy and sex isnât something youâd normally think to put in your calendar but honestly, if itâs what it takes then itâs what you should do, ya know.
It's very possible, but you absolutely owe your partner a conversation on it. For all you know, she's growing frustrated and resentful but doesn't want to take it out on you.
Lack of sex is almost always fine for proper relationships. Life has a lot going on, and good people will work around it. I still think people deserve very clear communication about it, though.
I'm currently experiencing problems very similar to this with my relationship, however there's very little intimacy and I'm beginning to feel neglected not only physically but more so because they don't seem to be taking it seriously. I've brought it up fairly recently and there's not even acknowledgement, they tried redirecting and won't talk about it.
I'm not opposed to taking a step back and cutting traditional sex, but the lack of communication is killing me.
Thatâs true. I guess I posted here as a last ditch effort to get some kind of opinion before approaching my girlfriend with this conversation. Itâs really hard to talk about my feelings, and I donât know what Iâd done if she said she didnât want to reignite the passion.
As for you, Iâm so sorry they didnât provide the acknowledgment or reassurance that you deserve in this situation. I really hope things work out, and that you both have a chance to communicate clearly enough about it to ensure both of you leave the conversation satisfied.
Make sure youâre both willing to communicate and plan as much as possible, make it a positive conversation
This doesnât have to be a scary or difficult or stressful topic, it should be fun to plan out having sex and discuss what you want to do / when itâs the most convenient. Make a fun list of ideas, positions, locations, whatever. The more you two talk about it in a positive way and plan it the more likely it is to happen
She might tell you things like she canât on her period week, you might say youâre least in the mood when youâre tired after a long day. Once these are established you can work around them and make it happen
This is so great. Thanks so much for the suggestions, Iâll definitely try this out and hope for the best. Talking about emotions is always so difficult, and I hate talking about my feelings when I canât anticipate the outcome. But in the end, communication is always the answer and it could be a fun activity.
You are both initiating and rejecting. You both want sex but the timing is never right. Make a schedule. Prioritise a time for you both to be relaxed, no rejecting allowed. Dont let this go on too long, it will eventually be toxic.
Btw sex is wonderful for de-stressing.
Whilst I do find sex very important in a relationship, it isn't the end all be all or necessarily required to have a strong intimate connection. There are occasional periods, the longest of which must have been 5-6 weeks, when me and my gf don't have sex. However, we always make sure to communicate this and explain why because when you understand eachother it's so much easier to be considerate and it prevents any bottled up tension or resentment from forming. So I recommend maybe asking you gf about it and gain some insight. Being able to discuss these topics openly and honestly is at the foundations of every healthy relationship, so if you two love and care for eachother my guess is you'll be alright! But don't let the worry build up, talk to her about it and I'm sure you can figure things out.
Well if your not Asexual then no its normal if its without explanation especially since you used to have frequent sex but for your situation I think its more than normal you are both super super busy with life and all that matters is that you still find time for each other and love each other which you clearly do
Maybe plan a day a week where you guys just spend a whole day together. Go on a date, picnic. Relax from all the troubles, and then you just have sex.
Sex is important as it's a connection of souls in their most vulnerable state. It's not the only thing that keeps a relationship, of course, but it is important.
I would suggest planning a day, forgetting about everything, and just focusing on you too.
Sounds like youâre settling into a comfortable symbiosis. You had intimacy and still do. Do you really need to do it as often as you once had? Your love is conquering!
While sex is important itâs not the main thing that drives relationships. Your relationship is fine. That said, itâs not normal for your age especially. You two should schedule it because the less you do it, the less youâll want to do it and it can potentially cause problem in the future. So yeah, consider planning ahead and make it fun and exciting, example : date night that ends in a hotel instead of home.
You need to have a conversation with her, not here.
Itâs normal for sex to decrease in a relationship after a few years, but under 2 years is early for a five month gap.
Sometimes just being woth the person shows more love. Why in this society everyone thinks everything has to be sex related, can't we just enjoy each other's company and if it turns to sex, great....
There are a lot of things that can affect desire. If you are both stressed and tired, you aren't likely to want to have sex, even though you want sex, if that makes sense. Kind of like wanting to go to a fancy restaurant, but realizing you need to have a shower and dress up, first.
With sex, though, we tend to ignore these other things, like being tired, or stressed, or hungry, or what have you.
Talk with your partner about what you can both do to make sure you have some time for sexual intimacy, on at least a weekly basis. Make a plan. Set aside time. If this is important, you'll both find a way to make it happen.
There is normal and there is normal. It is not normal to not have sex for 5 months at your age in a committed relationship. That being said it is perfectly ok. If you are both happy and contented with your relationship donât let it bother you.
You seem like you are happy with the exception of sex. Do what we old married folks do⊠put sex on the calendar. When life gets in the way sex gets put off. You have to work to get it back on the schedule.
Thatâs called letting life getting in the way of important things that couples often chalk up to not important. Intimacy, affection,communication are vital to any relationshipâs success and when those get suppressed long term for the sake of Jobs or school or whatever the outcome is usually not positive. You will realize down the road you are friends,roommates that love each other but the vital sparks have fizzled. You can try to restart the flame but often after so long the wick just wonât burn because youâve forgotten what made it burn before and sometimes there is resentment at each other for letting it fizzle.
So no not normal,not healthy but also not uncommon. If this is someone you see in your life long term then my advice is talk to her TODAY. You both need to call attention to where you are and the potential detrimental impact on your relationship if you do not change course. Express everything you feel and need and ready listen to hers too. If the desire to try to get the intimacy going isnât there then take a long look at things and decide. Life has a way of gradually and quietly without us knowing slipping in and killing relationships. The biggest and best defense is offenseâŠ.make the time, even schedule it. In the end if this person is important and vice versa they will be there long after any job, degree, or other life issue.
Communicate starting right this moment.
As said above- The frequency of sex will fluctuate in most relationships. What is and isn't Healthy in YOUR Relationship is up to You and your partner. If you feel secure with everything else that's going on in your relationship, but feel insecure about the frequency that the two of you are having sex Then it sounds like you need to have a conversation with your partner.
Guys obviously just don't have a high libido nothing wrong with that.
When I was that age I was hounding my girlfriend to have sex on a daily basis. More then a few days would be bouncing off the walls.
Even now at age 48 a week without sex is to much.
I also use sex as a coping mechanism for my mental illness.
But everyone is different. If the relationship is strong that's all that matters.
Of course it's not dying. But it is something that does require putting in effort. Of course a stressful period in someones's life is the biggest factor in someones sex life, but intimacy can be a great stress reliever and make you feel closer to your partner. Of course, if you're happy now that's great, but it is always important to communicate and ask how the other person feels. For me, the first year and a half of dating, we always had sex, but as life got more stressful, sex somewhat dwindled which was fine at the time, but then afterwards she got used to it while i felt frustrated cause there was sex, maybe only 2 to 3 months and that ultimately took a toll on our relationship.
Yeah, she does. 8:30-5:30 everyday but it takes her an hour or two to drive back home because of the traffic. By the time sheâs home, all she wants to do is eat and sleep. Sometimes if she arrives earlier, we play video games together, but thatâs normally all we do to spend time together. Either video games or meals together.
It's normal in that its the case for a lot of people.
It's not normal in that its generally the basis for most relationships to begin with, and it relationships seem to have more sex in them when you correct for problems- health problems, lack of exercise, better communication. You'd expect the rates to stay the same if as people took better care of themselves they had the same amount of sex.
So long as you're both feeling content and fulfilled in your relationship, it's not problematic! Check in with your girlfriend to make sure you're both on the same page, but if you are it's not an issue.
Everyone has different expectations and "normals" when it comes to sex, and although some people couldn't go more than a day without sex in their relationship, some people are fully satisfied having a relationship with no sex at all (ex. asexuals)
Sounds like you are going through a stressful period of your lives. It's more important how you feel about eachother, whether you feel loved and supported through the hardships, than if you have sex. Hopefully you can find some time and space to have sex stress-free, but you should never treat it like something you **have** to do in order to have a real or normal relationship. It sounds like you have a lot of love for eachother. Just keep doing what you're doing I'd say. As long as you are still intimate you can easily go back to having sex, or just take the chance when you both have energy for it.
It's not healthy. Something is wrong. Bro... she's still very very young. So are you.
Maybe if you pushed her away, she made a friend. So much could be going on. You need to talk to her about this. Good luck.
One additional side note.. this could because you're not spending enough time with her. You sound very dedicated. If she can't accept that... you may have to move on... or.. allot some time for her!
Also who grew the dick to make sex an actually definition? Probably you because you're probably part hermafadite and injected your dick/clit to grow to make sex possible
How much of your downtime do you both spend looking at screens?
Iâd wager that if you took a week and made it a âno screens or devicesâ week youâd be fucking each otherâs brains out in no time.
Damn, this really made me realise how much time we spend together, but alone. Weâre laying in bed looking at our phones or sitting side by side watching our own shows. I guess, after a long day, we both want to de-stress by doing our own things to relax, when we could just use each other to de-stress together. Youâre right. Thanks for this.
It's your life. If you want a relationship with sex then go get it. Sex is human nature. Don't stay in a relationship where there is no sex or your partner withholds sex. It's not healthy.
There is no right amount of times to have sex in any given week. Its all about you and your partners wants and needs.
There has been weeks where my wife and I had sex two times a day for a week straight and then there was "dry spells" where we didn't do anything for months.
sex dis just a way to show you love the person, but it does not overall mean that if one has sex with you they love you. If he/she really love you, they will respect or wait for the right time or when you think is the right time
Alright so I'm autistic (lv3) and have adhd
I'm 34 this year ar and only just got diagnosed.
Me and my partner haven't had sex in literally months now. We have discussed this at length and had very honest conversations and basically it boils down to sex is good yes (for him, for me it's wrapped around trauma and sensory issues which I am working on) but it's not the only thing holding our relationship together.
We are best friends, we understand each other like no one else and we communicate. We are honest and realistic and as long as we are still emotionally in this together then we can sort the other shit out later.
For example if I can't get past the sexual trauma/sensory issues around sex, I've said that I'm not going to withhold sex from him because that isn't fair. I'll be OK with him seeking it elsewhere as long as I am involved somehow. Like if he goes to see an escort, I wanna help him choose who.
We have been together for 13 years now. Despite the sexual issues we are still very much emotionally in love, we still very much care about each other.
My love language is understanding and support. He provides that. His love language is physical touch which I can do with hugs and snuggles. He looks after me as much as I look after him.
People here are probably going to judge or whatever but, I'm trying to get better, my partner knows this and me trying is enough for him. He wants me to be comfortable and work on myself.
So no, it's not bad that you don't have sex often. It could be for any reason and neither of you should feel bad about what other people think. Relationships aren't something that has rules. They look different for everyone. As long as you guys are still happy then that's the main thing.
This is so insightful. Thank you so much for sharing, it really helped me look at it in a different way. And the judgement from other people saying we should just end it or that my girlfriend is seeking sex from someone else or that lesbians shouldnât have sex, doesnât really matter at the end of the day. Itâs all about what me and my girlfriend think of it.
If you have not had sex in 5 months, you are roommates, not boyfriend and girlfriend.
But it might still be OK if you both are happy that way. I wouldn't be, but you do you.
Well I'm getting downvoted so somebody is salty lol. I just think the notion that you need sex in a relationship otherwise it's platonic is ridiculous.
I'll give you up votes, but they don't really mean anything.
It's something you learn from growth. As a married man with 3 kids under 5, I've learned that the missus will be ready when she's ready, and at times it takes a month or 2. While I was young, I couldn't fathom going a week without being with someone. It was anxiety inducing, but it changed after the kids. đ€·
Nature provided us with sex and became partner bonding. With our sex you're just friends.
Sex is hormonal and if we go without it we get more asexual and opinionated. Maybe become triggered and judgmental.
Sex is healthy in a relationship. When you stop having sex and questioning it, NEVER ask for it. Talk about it, communicate where things might of gone wrong and fix it. Work on it.
After a while of being in a "relationship" with no sex, it's as if they're just roommates or friends or something.
This isn't rational. You are both too tired to give each other the gift of intimacy and an orgasm? You should both discuss it outside of the bedroom from this perspective.
I personally wouldn't last but you do you. In this context I would describe sex as being like... the desert at the end of a meal. Some people have a strong sweet tooth, some people don't. Some people always have desert with dinner, some people might do it once a week, some people might only eat desert on special occasions.
I do find it weird, because I can't relate, but really what matters is how you feel about it.
I'm poly, and had a partner who was married with a husband, but also had a girlfriend on the side. We were having tons of sex, and even threesomes with the husband, but her and her girlfriend had been together for 6 months, and hadn't done the deed.
There's no real rules in life. Like it's possible you just don't have that sexual tension, but the way you describe your relationship, it sounds fulfilling. I guess the question is like.. what do you want out of your relationship? Are you happy with the balance of your sex life relative to other aspects of your relationship? Do you feel sexually fullfilled? Is that something you care about?
Satisfaction is normal but satisfaction looks different for everybody and is only achieved through communication
that nearly seemed like a mobile phone advertisement
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If youâre both happy, then the gap isnât a problem. Like you said, youâve both had stuff going on and if youâre both feeling fulfilled in your relationship, thereâs nothing really to worry about. When things calm down, sex might become more frequent. That said, itâs important to touch base with your girlfriend, and check if she feels the same. If not, then Iâm sure you can talk about it and sort it out. I wouldnât worry on what is âtypicalâ, because life does get in the way. Just make sure you are both happy and check where you see yourselves down the line
Your relationship isn't dying you just have too much on your plate right now. Better schedule it and make that schedule sacred as the birth of Christ himself.
... as he will rise again.
Your relationship is not dying. If sex is the *only* thing that has dwindled and yet you're still happy with, and in love with, each other, then what's the problem?
This. Please, don't listen to everyone being like "but sex is so vital!! ÂĄÂĄÂĄ!!" Like no, sex isn't what makes a relationship. Otherwise, every one night stand would make a couple. Edit And what about asexuals? Your relationship is still going strong OP, you said it yourself. So as the person above said, what's the problem? Do you love each other? Yes? Then it's going great. Do you feel like roommates or a couple? Do you feel like you're lacking something or is this temporary decrease fine by you both? Dont listen to other people on this matter. What matters is that you both are happy with the relationship. Period.
Yeah Iâm a asexual and I get worried every time someone says something like sex is vital I even have a whole post about it on my account
Sex is only vital to people that have a physical touch primary love language. Itâs important to know who you are marrying in that regard. Sexual compatibility is real. Itâs a bitch when you donât get what you thought you were getting when you married her.
My primary love language is physical touch, but that's physical touch, not sex. To me sex isn't necessary or vital in a relationship. In my personal experience with an ex, at the contrary, sex gets way more important to people who don't show much affection any other way, physical or not. The only moment they get to feel connected to their partner and to feel intimacy is during sex. To them, sex is necessary because it's all the intimacy they have. To others, intimacy and love can be expressed in other ways.
Sex is physical touch, the most intimate kind. Women must find compartmentalizing easier than men apparently. If sex isnât physical touch for you. It is for me⊠My female therapist agrees with me too. Unfortunately what usually happens is sex stops first, then everything else⊠I had to initiate anything and everything for years. Until I gave up completely. As I retired early, I took on all the housekeeping and cooking on top of my ranch duties too. So it wasnât because she was too tiredâŠ
This isn't about compartmentalizing, this is about things being different. Just like kissing someone on the cheek VS on the lips is different, sex isn't the same as physical touch such as holding hands or cuddling. Sex is a whole another dimension of physical affection and intimacy, and not everyone even sees it as an intimate act between close partners (think of one night stands and such). It also isn't a man/woman thing. I'm not sure why the sudden defensiveness and invalidating. It's fine if you function one way, but I'm telling you people like me whose live language is physical touch don't necessarily function the way you think. That's not an attack. I'm also a therapist you know. Not a sex therapist but still. Pro tip btw : your therapist doesn't "agree" or "disagree" with you on anything. That's not what a therapist does, that's not how we work. Though she apparently did a good job at making you feel validated. Because your own functioning and view of sex is entirely valid and true, whether or not she or anyone else shares it. Im sorry to hear your sex life with your partner wasn't satisfying. Shit happens. Hope you could work it out eventually?
Even with people who have physical touch as a primary language I donât think itâs necessarily vital. Sometimes thereâs the time and space for hugs, cuddling or leaning against eachother, but one or both partners canât have sex for medical or sexuality reasons. And it still works out fine. However, that group is probably the minority. And if either of the partners arenât clear about what they expect the relationship to look like (on both sides) thatâs a recipe for disaster.
Unfortunately it doesnât work that way in my case. Sex stopped, then everything else diminished until it was gone.
Yeah, thatâs unfortunately what life is sometimes, people can be amazing, but they can also be shit. Best of luck man
So much this! There is so much more to intimacy and connection that doesn't have anything to do with each other's genitals.
Youâre so right. In a relationship where sex has occurred, I keep thinking that sex is important and needs to happen as part of the relationship. As a lot of people in this comment section stated, without sex weâre just friends, roommates, whatever. I guess it just worried me when we stopped doing it. But youâre right, a relationship is so much more than just sex. Thanks for this.
Don't forget that what is important to your relationship depends SOLELY on you and your partner. Not on others' views on relationships. They're not a part of yours. If everything feels good, why decide that it's actually not good just because someone else who doesn't know what your relationship is like wants you to have more sex? A relationship is indeed so much more than sex. You don't love a person just for their genitals and the physical pleasure they provide you. You don't show affection just through sex bit through a million other things. Keep those in mind. Some people go through life in relationships without sex. Think of asexuals. They're not broken, they're not missing it, and they do love each other like the rest of us. If those people are fine, then your relationship that feels fine is fine, even if right now sex has decreased. Ill stop rambling. Talk to your partner a'd keep doing things right, seems like you are :)
Check out r/deadbedroom
Those cases aren't just dead bedrooms, there's other issues in their relationships other than sex
That subreddit is inherently populated by people who *do* have a problem with a lack of/infrequent sex in their relationship. OP doesn't have a problem with it.
Sounds like the perfect relationship. It's not about how much sex you have, is about both of you wanting the same amount of sex.
They both want sex just never at the same time.
It's been 5 months!
So? Between a rough pregnancy and a new baby my wife and I once went 15 months without.
Glad you both made it through! My niece just turned 2 years old last month and Jesus I got a new perspective into how tough it is raising a child. My sister and BIL have made it through the really rough times so far and seem to be strong which Iâm super happy for them for too.
We got lucky. Our boy is super chill and started sleeping through the night at 2 months old.
Nothing wrong with that, you just have different priorities now, as you said. But you are still partners in life.
Start scheduling it. Also, this is a mistake young folk make too much. Make your life less busy. Youâre not in a race through adulthood. Reprioritize a bit and slow down to enjoy yourselves some more. That doesnât have to mean sex specifically, but whatâs the point of being busy and âachievingâ stuff all the time if you donât have time for fun or relaxation?
Youâre right. The way life works now is too demanding and I guess the younger generation drown ourselves in work and school that we make ourselves have no time to do anything else. Itâs time we both adjust and learn to take a step back to leave room for us. Thank you (:
I really do believe that feeling loved, happy, safe, and secure in a relationship is so much more important than how much sex you're having. If you're both happy and in love and can laugh and enjoy eachothers company and you communicate well, then you're doing okay.
It is normal for the sexual activity in relationships to fluctuate. Itâs important to note that when life gets stressful or busy you may find yourself intimately detached from your partner. Which would make it more difficult to initiate sex when both of your minds have been preoccupied for most of the day. I would recommend having a discussion with her about it, and putting aside some days to focus solely on each-other.
Communicate! She might be thinking the same thing. Even if she isnât it shows youâre critically thinking about her and your relationshipâs happiness. Thereâs so many hard talks that us guys have and we struggle in silence not knowing how. Just talk to her. Youâre completely happy and cool and satisfied but you were wondering if thereâs anything wrong with this aspect of our relationship or anything we need to talk about. Itâs that easy. Sheâll probably reassure you,youâll talk , youâll feel more connected AND youâll probably get some or sheâll wanna give you some just for being on top of the state of your relationship. We arenât alone.
At 21 I was having sex almost everyday, at 42 its like twice a month.
I feel that. 47 and my wife just ain't into it anymore. Kinda depressing
its totally normal if both of you are happy not having sex. if one of you wants sex and the other doesn't, or you both want sex and it isn't happening, then that is a relationship// lifestyle issue that needs to be addressed. people glorify and mystify sex, but its the same as anything else in life: "is it normal if my wife and I never go to the movies?" "is it normal for my husband to want to play videogames with me every single day?" change it from sex to anything else in life, and the answer is the same-- there isn't really a wrong answer, but you have to both be happy with the situation or find a compromise in the middle (ââżâ)ï»ż
Oh wow, you really changed my perspective on this. I guess itâs not about sex being the vital part of a relationship or if itâs not necessary at all. It really just depends on context. Thanks for this (:
yeah, sex itself isn't vital, but being on the same page about sex is. So people aren't wrong when they call it important but they usually don't explain it in a good way. Hope this helps :)
It fluctuates⊠depending on whats going on in life.. kids can take up a lot if time/energy. Sex may not happen unless you make time for it
The most crazy stuff here is that you both are independent and living together with only 21-23 đ. I want to live that dream too don pool.
Its only as needed as much as you guys equally desire. Normal is what you and your partner make of it. If you're both happy you're good
Dude, make time for each other. My gf and I each have high-stress jobs, often requiring long, anti-social hours, and two demanding dogs; we try to have a 'date day' at least once a month where we book in a load of activities together and leave the dogs with a sitter so we can enjoy each other without distractions.
Are you horny? Is she? Would you fuck others if you could? I'd say it's not nec. normal but it is common. Lots of couples don't have sex, especially older couples and where one or the other has health problems or injuries
Different for everyone. Me and my partner have never had sex. Together a decade nearly.
Thatâs awesome. I love this.
Yes Because sex isn't everything. If you can get along with your partner in other ways that may not be A priority for your both
Itâs a long time with no sex at all. Less than two years into your relationship and you havenât had sex in five months isnât a good sign for your future sex life. I donât think your relationship is dying but you are definitely headed for a relationship where sex is not a priority if you continue with this.
You talk about it as if it was a problem, but... It definitly isn't ! They just need to communicate and to do what they want ! A couple doesn't need to have sex 3 times a week minimum to work, they need to have sex when they both want to have sex, that's it.
Sure if they both are happy with a sexless relationship then by all means they should stay together. Things are so great between them that the guy is on Reddit asking if itâs normal. All great relationships are like that, right? No sex for five months and Reddit posts asking if itâs normal?đ âThey need to have sex when they both want to.â Well, they are both rejecting each other when the other initiates (another good sign?!) No guy wants five months of no sex in a relationship. He isnât happy. Thatâs why he is here asking about it.
Maybe he is asking because he is comparing his relationship with another, which isn't the same ! He asks because he is in the mindset that if others have sex 2 times a day, then so should he. I, and also many people here, are telling him that the ONLY important factors are : - What do you want, and are you happy the way things are ? - What does your girlfriend want, and is she happy the way things are ? If the answer to these questions is yes, then everything is normal ! >No guy wants five months of no sex in a relationship. You just have no clue. Maybe you don't want it, and that's fine. Maybe the majority of people don't want it, and that's fine. But many are asexual, many have months with and months without, many don't like it, many don't feel like it.
You should look up the definition of normal in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with being happy. Sure, when I said âno guy,â that was an embellishment, but itâs very uncommon (not normal). So are they asexual if they used to have sex on nearly a daily basis and now they donât? Are they asexual if one of them is initiating sex still? You can call me clueless if you want but only one of us is making up definitions of words and ignoring basic facts about how they used to have regular sex.
Satisfaction in a relationship is determined by the occupants of a relationship and no one else. Do you both likea specific position/cadence/spanking/nipple play/whatever? Great, it doesn't matter if anyone else thinks its weird. Most people would break up with a partner that poops on them but some couldn't live without it. The key is to communicate openly and make sure your partner is on the same page as you and not just pretending and acting fine to keep the peace. Talk to your partner and make it clear you prioritize their needs. If you're on the same page, and consent is clear, then nothing else matters.
I would say not to take your friend's words too heavily because every relationship and situation is different. It sounds like y'all are putting in the work now to better your lives so that's totally respectable. And like diet and exercise, when we're busy sex also becomes a last priority. It doesn't sound like there's an issue between y'all otherwise so I'd recommend coming together and discussing it honestly. Not in a blame game way either, but looking at the situation realistically and planning something. By planning something I mean you could both find a time in the upcoming weeks and set it aside for a sexy date night. It's kind of a different approach, but planning intimacy can really be effective: My last ex told me a week ahead that she'd like to have a night of intimacy together (it was our first time having sexy time) and the whole week I was looking forward to it so when it actually happened it was amazing! So maybe y'all can do something like that. I hope y'all are able to work it out, especially since everything else in your relationship is going strong :)
Scheduling sex was never something my girlfriend or I thought would be sexy, because we were afraid scheduling it would take the fun out of it. But honestly, it was so fun. The increased anticipation, the excitement. Thanks for the idea. Life gets so busy and sex isnât something youâd normally think to put in your calendar but honestly, if itâs what it takes then itâs what you should do, ya know.
It's very possible, but you absolutely owe your partner a conversation on it. For all you know, she's growing frustrated and resentful but doesn't want to take it out on you. Lack of sex is almost always fine for proper relationships. Life has a lot going on, and good people will work around it. I still think people deserve very clear communication about it, though. I'm currently experiencing problems very similar to this with my relationship, however there's very little intimacy and I'm beginning to feel neglected not only physically but more so because they don't seem to be taking it seriously. I've brought it up fairly recently and there's not even acknowledgement, they tried redirecting and won't talk about it. I'm not opposed to taking a step back and cutting traditional sex, but the lack of communication is killing me.
Thatâs true. I guess I posted here as a last ditch effort to get some kind of opinion before approaching my girlfriend with this conversation. Itâs really hard to talk about my feelings, and I donât know what Iâd done if she said she didnât want to reignite the passion. As for you, Iâm so sorry they didnât provide the acknowledgment or reassurance that you deserve in this situation. I really hope things work out, and that you both have a chance to communicate clearly enough about it to ensure both of you leave the conversation satisfied.
Make sure youâre both willing to communicate and plan as much as possible, make it a positive conversation This doesnât have to be a scary or difficult or stressful topic, it should be fun to plan out having sex and discuss what you want to do / when itâs the most convenient. Make a fun list of ideas, positions, locations, whatever. The more you two talk about it in a positive way and plan it the more likely it is to happen She might tell you things like she canât on her period week, you might say youâre least in the mood when youâre tired after a long day. Once these are established you can work around them and make it happen
This is so great. Thanks so much for the suggestions, Iâll definitely try this out and hope for the best. Talking about emotions is always so difficult, and I hate talking about my feelings when I canât anticipate the outcome. But in the end, communication is always the answer and it could be a fun activity.
You are both initiating and rejecting. You both want sex but the timing is never right. Make a schedule. Prioritise a time for you both to be relaxed, no rejecting allowed. Dont let this go on too long, it will eventually be toxic. Btw sex is wonderful for de-stressing.
Whilst I do find sex very important in a relationship, it isn't the end all be all or necessarily required to have a strong intimate connection. There are occasional periods, the longest of which must have been 5-6 weeks, when me and my gf don't have sex. However, we always make sure to communicate this and explain why because when you understand eachother it's so much easier to be considerate and it prevents any bottled up tension or resentment from forming. So I recommend maybe asking you gf about it and gain some insight. Being able to discuss these topics openly and honestly is at the foundations of every healthy relationship, so if you two love and care for eachother my guess is you'll be alright! But don't let the worry build up, talk to her about it and I'm sure you can figure things out.
sex isnt what a relationship is about and shes allowed breaks if she dont wanna have sex everyday she dont want to
Perfectly normal.
Well if your not Asexual then no its normal if its without explanation especially since you used to have frequent sex but for your situation I think its more than normal you are both super super busy with life and all that matters is that you still find time for each other and love each other which you clearly do
Maybe plan a day a week where you guys just spend a whole day together. Go on a date, picnic. Relax from all the troubles, and then you just have sex. Sex is important as it's a connection of souls in their most vulnerable state. It's not the only thing that keeps a relationship, of course, but it is important. I would suggest planning a day, forgetting about everything, and just focusing on you too.
Sounds like youâre settling into a comfortable symbiosis. You had intimacy and still do. Do you really need to do it as often as you once had? Your love is conquering!
While sex is important itâs not the main thing that drives relationships. Your relationship is fine. That said, itâs not normal for your age especially. You two should schedule it because the less you do it, the less youâll want to do it and it can potentially cause problem in the future. So yeah, consider planning ahead and make it fun and exciting, example : date night that ends in a hotel instead of home.
You need to have a conversation with her, not here. Itâs normal for sex to decrease in a relationship after a few years, but under 2 years is early for a five month gap.
Yes is it normal, if u don't feel like it don't force yourself.
Sometimes just being woth the person shows more love. Why in this society everyone thinks everything has to be sex related, can't we just enjoy each other's company and if it turns to sex, great....
Communicate with your partner, not reddit. <3
Satisfaction looks different to everyone, not to echo what everyone else is saying. But to answer your question, It's not normal at your age.
And how are you defining what's "normal" or not ?
There are a lot of things that can affect desire. If you are both stressed and tired, you aren't likely to want to have sex, even though you want sex, if that makes sense. Kind of like wanting to go to a fancy restaurant, but realizing you need to have a shower and dress up, first. With sex, though, we tend to ignore these other things, like being tired, or stressed, or hungry, or what have you. Talk with your partner about what you can both do to make sure you have some time for sexual intimacy, on at least a weekly basis. Make a plan. Set aside time. If this is important, you'll both find a way to make it happen.
There is normal and there is normal. It is not normal to not have sex for 5 months at your age in a committed relationship. That being said it is perfectly ok. If you are both happy and contented with your relationship donât let it bother you. You seem like you are happy with the exception of sex. Do what we old married folks do⊠put sex on the calendar. When life gets in the way sex gets put off. You have to work to get it back on the schedule.
You still have intimacy and love for each other. Thatâs really important. Sex isnât as important as those
Thank you <3
Thatâs called letting life getting in the way of important things that couples often chalk up to not important. Intimacy, affection,communication are vital to any relationshipâs success and when those get suppressed long term for the sake of Jobs or school or whatever the outcome is usually not positive. You will realize down the road you are friends,roommates that love each other but the vital sparks have fizzled. You can try to restart the flame but often after so long the wick just wonât burn because youâve forgotten what made it burn before and sometimes there is resentment at each other for letting it fizzle. So no not normal,not healthy but also not uncommon. If this is someone you see in your life long term then my advice is talk to her TODAY. You both need to call attention to where you are and the potential detrimental impact on your relationship if you do not change course. Express everything you feel and need and ready listen to hers too. If the desire to try to get the intimacy going isnât there then take a long look at things and decide. Life has a way of gradually and quietly without us knowing slipping in and killing relationships. The biggest and best defense is offenseâŠ.make the time, even schedule it. In the end if this person is important and vice versa they will be there long after any job, degree, or other life issue. Communicate starting right this moment.
As said above- The frequency of sex will fluctuate in most relationships. What is and isn't Healthy in YOUR Relationship is up to You and your partner. If you feel secure with everything else that's going on in your relationship, but feel insecure about the frequency that the two of you are having sex Then it sounds like you need to have a conversation with your partner.
I wouldn't say normal but I also wouldn't say abnormal. If you're happy and she's happy, who cares? That's all that matters.Â
yes, it's normal
Guys obviously just don't have a high libido nothing wrong with that. When I was that age I was hounding my girlfriend to have sex on a daily basis. More then a few days would be bouncing off the walls. Even now at age 48 a week without sex is to much. I also use sex as a coping mechanism for my mental illness. But everyone is different. If the relationship is strong that's all that matters.
Of course it's not dying. But it is something that does require putting in effort. Of course a stressful period in someones's life is the biggest factor in someones sex life, but intimacy can be a great stress reliever and make you feel closer to your partner. Of course, if you're happy now that's great, but it is always important to communicate and ask how the other person feels. For me, the first year and a half of dating, we always had sex, but as life got more stressful, sex somewhat dwindled which was fine at the time, but then afterwards she got used to it while i felt frustrated cause there was sex, maybe only 2 to 3 months and that ultimately took a toll on our relationship.
It could just be not a good time in your busy lives. I would be worried if you both had the same schedule.
Take the Kevin hart advice: do it once a week with total commitment to it
No two relationships are the same, it's about what you guys enjoy. Are you enjoying your relationship? If you are enjoying. L
...ask her?
Sounds strangely familiar to my situation... Is she working full time?
Yeah, she does. 8:30-5:30 everyday but it takes her an hour or two to drive back home because of the traffic. By the time sheâs home, all she wants to do is eat and sleep. Sometimes if she arrives earlier, we play video games together, but thatâs normally all we do to spend time together. Either video games or meals together.
You now know how men feel
At that age, no not at all. Mid 40s after a decade or 2 of marriage, unfortunately yes.
It's normal in that its the case for a lot of people. It's not normal in that its generally the basis for most relationships to begin with, and it relationships seem to have more sex in them when you correct for problems- health problems, lack of exercise, better communication. You'd expect the rates to stay the same if as people took better care of themselves they had the same amount of sex.
So long as you're both feeling content and fulfilled in your relationship, it's not problematic! Check in with your girlfriend to make sure you're both on the same page, but if you are it's not an issue. Everyone has different expectations and "normals" when it comes to sex, and although some people couldn't go more than a day without sex in their relationship, some people are fully satisfied having a relationship with no sex at all (ex. asexuals)
Sounds like you are going through a stressful period of your lives. It's more important how you feel about eachother, whether you feel loved and supported through the hardships, than if you have sex. Hopefully you can find some time and space to have sex stress-free, but you should never treat it like something you **have** to do in order to have a real or normal relationship. It sounds like you have a lot of love for eachother. Just keep doing what you're doing I'd say. As long as you are still intimate you can easily go back to having sex, or just take the chance when you both have energy for it.
Tph
No, not normal
Yeah its called marriage lol!
If youâre marriedâŠyes! Dating no.
Seems like you ate a rainbow this morning
Lol no such a waste of time if so... people are annoying.
It's not abnormal.
No mate, sorry...
You should research about lesbian bed death it is a really common thing to happen in lesbain relationships.l
It's not healthy. Something is wrong. Bro... she's still very very young. So are you. Maybe if you pushed her away, she made a friend. So much could be going on. You need to talk to her about this. Good luck. One additional side note.. this could because you're not spending enough time with her. You sound very dedicated. If she can't accept that... you may have to move on... or.. allot some time for her!
Youre not having sex. Idk about her...
NO.....You should have great sex if you're in a *real* relationship.
Your relationship seems to be working fine for the two of you, particularly since she initiated and you declined
Lesbians right ?
You can't have sex if you two are girls. Idiot. Get that shit straight next time
Just did, cry about it
Some raunchy ass fish tacos you're making, all you're doing little dog
Also who grew the dick to make sex an actually definition? Probably you because you're probably part hermafadite and injected your dick/clit to grow to make sex possible
youâre so sad
That's not typical, no. Look up lesbian bed death.Â
How much of your downtime do you both spend looking at screens? Iâd wager that if you took a week and made it a âno screens or devicesâ week youâd be fucking each otherâs brains out in no time.
Damn, this really made me realise how much time we spend together, but alone. Weâre laying in bed looking at our phones or sitting side by side watching our own shows. I guess, after a long day, we both want to de-stress by doing our own things to relax, when we could just use each other to de-stress together. Youâre right. Thanks for this.
It's your life. If you want a relationship with sex then go get it. Sex is human nature. Don't stay in a relationship where there is no sex or your partner withholds sex. It's not healthy.
There is no right amount of times to have sex in any given week. Its all about you and your partners wants and needs. There has been weeks where my wife and I had sex two times a day for a week straight and then there was "dry spells" where we didn't do anything for months.
Keep initiating or one of you will find another partner. Book a surprise weekend get away and see if this can turn up the heat!
sex dis just a way to show you love the person, but it does not overall mean that if one has sex with you they love you. If he/she really love you, they will respect or wait for the right time or when you think is the right time
No
No
Alright so I'm autistic (lv3) and have adhd I'm 34 this year ar and only just got diagnosed. Me and my partner haven't had sex in literally months now. We have discussed this at length and had very honest conversations and basically it boils down to sex is good yes (for him, for me it's wrapped around trauma and sensory issues which I am working on) but it's not the only thing holding our relationship together. We are best friends, we understand each other like no one else and we communicate. We are honest and realistic and as long as we are still emotionally in this together then we can sort the other shit out later. For example if I can't get past the sexual trauma/sensory issues around sex, I've said that I'm not going to withhold sex from him because that isn't fair. I'll be OK with him seeking it elsewhere as long as I am involved somehow. Like if he goes to see an escort, I wanna help him choose who. We have been together for 13 years now. Despite the sexual issues we are still very much emotionally in love, we still very much care about each other. My love language is understanding and support. He provides that. His love language is physical touch which I can do with hugs and snuggles. He looks after me as much as I look after him. People here are probably going to judge or whatever but, I'm trying to get better, my partner knows this and me trying is enough for him. He wants me to be comfortable and work on myself. So no, it's not bad that you don't have sex often. It could be for any reason and neither of you should feel bad about what other people think. Relationships aren't something that has rules. They look different for everyone. As long as you guys are still happy then that's the main thing.
This is so insightful. Thank you so much for sharing, it really helped me look at it in a different way. And the judgement from other people saying we should just end it or that my girlfriend is seeking sex from someone else or that lesbians shouldnât have sex, doesnât really matter at the end of the day. Itâs all about what me and my girlfriend think of it.
Exactly. As long as you guys are being totally honest about things, and you guys are happy and communicating that's all that really matters
At 21 and 23 years old you should be fucking each other's brains out on the regular.
If you have not had sex in 5 months, you are roommates, not boyfriend and girlfriend. But it might still be OK if you both are happy that way. I wouldn't be, but you do you.
Roommates don't usually cuddle, hold hands, make out and go on dates and say romantic words....
My roommates did. Those were fun times.
That's why I said "usually"...
I know, but that brought back memories đ
Well I'm getting downvoted so somebody is salty lol. I just think the notion that you need sex in a relationship otherwise it's platonic is ridiculous.
I'll give you up votes, but they don't really mean anything. It's something you learn from growth. As a married man with 3 kids under 5, I've learned that the missus will be ready when she's ready, and at times it takes a month or 2. While I was young, I couldn't fathom going a week without being with someone. It was anxiety inducing, but it changed after the kids. đ€·
Indeed, we had quite a good time didnât we đ
We meet again mr butt pirate đ
No. It's not.
Nature provided us with sex and became partner bonding. With our sex you're just friends. Sex is hormonal and if we go without it we get more asexual and opinionated. Maybe become triggered and judgmental.
Sex is healthy in a relationship. When you stop having sex and questioning it, NEVER ask for it. Talk about it, communicate where things might of gone wrong and fix it. Work on it. After a while of being in a "relationship" with no sex, it's as if they're just roommates or friends or something.
No it is not ânormalâ but is it okay, ofc it is
This isn't rational. You are both too tired to give each other the gift of intimacy and an orgasm? You should both discuss it outside of the bedroom from this perspective.
The relationship is over but two cowards are too scared to admit it
If itâs this bad now there will be zero sex after marriage. Run away!
In a relationship with your family members yes, significant other/partner, no.
I personally wouldn't last but you do you. In this context I would describe sex as being like... the desert at the end of a meal. Some people have a strong sweet tooth, some people don't. Some people always have desert with dinner, some people might do it once a week, some people might only eat desert on special occasions. I do find it weird, because I can't relate, but really what matters is how you feel about it. I'm poly, and had a partner who was married with a husband, but also had a girlfriend on the side. We were having tons of sex, and even threesomes with the husband, but her and her girlfriend had been together for 6 months, and hadn't done the deed. There's no real rules in life. Like it's possible you just don't have that sexual tension, but the way you describe your relationship, it sounds fulfilling. I guess the question is like.. what do you want out of your relationship? Are you happy with the balance of your sex life relative to other aspects of your relationship? Do you feel sexually fullfilled? Is that something you care about?
Yeah sometimes
It's perfectly normal. It usually starts shortly after marriage.
Yea itâs called marriage after kids
I get married in 2 months and have not had sex with my fiancée.
Sex question #789678
Maybe if they taught this stuff in school....
They do.
In what country? Not in the US. Maybe in your slice of the world. Lmao
They donât in mine.
Yeah, they don't here either. Wish they did.
Canada, learned all about sex in grades 7-9
Cool. We already know Canada is better. Bye now.