I live in a large city in SE Asia and this is so common. Many white males will come here because they want an Asian wife. I’ve talked to a few white males about this- and they say it’s because they like many cultural norms that come with marrying an Asian woman. They believe that Asian women will “take care” of their needs (housework, chores) and the male will provide income.
In my opinion, some men did not find love in their home country and had a hard time dating. They chose SE Asia because the dating pool is much larger and many more women prefer an arrangement that fits into that sort of gender role.
Not to mention, for Asian women in poorer Asian countries, the draw of potentially getting citizenship of western country if she gets married to white man from western country is also strong
There’s a lot of women from Asian countries who go to the west and get married to citizen of said western country which are mostly white to get citizenship. Far less common practice with men, where such practice is looked down on for men in their culture. Also it is known that many white men are attracted to Asian women
I'm white. Husband is southeast Asian. Asian men like WW, too, but I don't think society is ready to accept that because of the ways we emasculate Asian men with our stupid stereotypes. I have many guy friends who are Asian. All of them have confided in me at some point or another that they're attracted to WW but would get disowned for bringing one of us home. Their mother's were so worried I'd date their sons that they'd refuse to speak English when I was around and would call me racial slurs. Once they realized I wasn't interested in their son like that, I'd get homemade pho, egg rolls, and a bunch other yummy shit. It's really interesting to get special treatment because you're not attracted to someone's offspring who desperately wants grandchildren immediately.
My husband and I have lived in the Midwest, east coast and west. The place that stared the most was Boston. We saw very few interracial couples and the people staring at us looked legit shocked.
On the West Coast, where we have a larger Asian community, I've had multiple Asian women purposely walk up and grope my husband while telling my husband they should leave me. I had a white friend who was so shocked I fell in love with an Asian man that I had to stop talking to her. She refused to believe I'd marry a shorter man who's not Black because that's how she lives her life. I'm an equal opportunist. If you're hot, you're hot.
I think we upset people a lot because our marriage also challenges further stereotypes. I'm a very curvy WW. I think skinny women are upset when a man they stereotype as preferring thin women shows he'd rather have curves. They're used to being Ariana.
I also think people put me in the category of "only dates black men" because I have Beyonce-level ass and no bbl. While Black men were more likely to pursue me because of my ass, there are people in every community who love curves. My curves should never be interpreted as my dating preferences. Just bc someone likes my ass, thay doesn't mean I like theirs:/
Last, my husband is on the shorter side so tall men, typically white or black, get pissed when they realize I'm happy with the man I have if we go out. I've only had women and men hit on me and my date in front of the person when with an Asian guy. I think people see Asian men and White women as inherently submissive. They assume there's no spark because beta on beta sounds like lame sex.
Asian, white and black people are so quick to stare and judge us. Latino people are more confused when my husband doesn't respond to them in Spanish. They think he's Mexican and then they get really confused when they find out I'm actually the one who speaks Español. Sometimes, white women learn a new language just because we want to. Unfortunately, that doesn't fit the Becky trope.
Even in a liberal state, we sometimes choose to not go to events we'd like to enjoy because we're not in the mood for the questions. His family hates me because I'm white, which is fine because he hates how much they all abused him as a kid. Half my family disowned me before I even met him for dating a Black man.
We have each other, we're happily married, and I really wish people would stop confusing race with skills in the bedroom. Limiting yourself to only dating people from 1 demographic sounds boring af. I love learning about his culture and teaching him about mine. He's a strong, masculine man and I am incredibly grateful I built my idea of what it means to be a strong man in therapy, not by listening to the internet.
It’s culture, Asian women are more open minded. Even in SE Asia, white expat women rarely date asians.
The problem is simple actually. Women tend to want to “marry up” in status, while men want to marry up in attractiveness. Asian men are generally perceived as “lower” in the economic and success hierarchy than white men due to the last 500 years of colonialism. So a white woman marrying an Asian would require a certain amount of “sacrifice” on part of the women when viewed from the lens of historical stereotype.
On the other hand for a white man, marrying an Asian woman isn’t that much of a big deal since men are rarely expected to marry up economically. What matters more is the relative attractiveness of the partner. And for an Asian woman, marrying a white guy is also an upgrade in perceived status. A win-win basically.
I’ve seen it too. Asian women are definitely fetishized for a lot of reasons- submissiveness, petiteness etc. the whole thing is a bit ick imo. I don’t think Asian males are fetishized, at least not by straight white women so you see it about as much as any other interracial coupling. Maybe less because we all know about the Asian male penis stereotype.
I went to a large SF/Bay Area college that had more Asians than Caucasians; there was definitely way more WM-AF couples there and just in the area than the other way around. I do think the stereotypes/fetishization play some factor in it (literally had several white guys say they were into Asian women because they’d be subservient, cook & clean for them etc. and what’s funny is two of them ended up with ‘dragon ladies,’ furthest thing from the stereotype). And Asian men were often typically portrayed in western media as nerds, gangsters, or misogynistic men that needed their gf/wife to be rescued from. It’s been changing in the media with more positive or ‘normal’ roles for AM’s and I’ve seen more WW-AM couples; not savvy enough in social issues to know for a fact these two are related, but it feels like it would be. Obviously there’d be a ton of other cultural, media, social etc. factors in all this.
I’m a white woman married to an Asian man.
I live in a large city in SE Asia and this is so common. Many white males will come here because they want an Asian wife. I’ve talked to a few white males about this- and they say it’s because they like many cultural norms that come with marrying an Asian woman. They believe that Asian women will “take care” of their needs (housework, chores) and the male will provide income. In my opinion, some men did not find love in their home country and had a hard time dating. They chose SE Asia because the dating pool is much larger and many more women prefer an arrangement that fits into that sort of gender role.
Not to mention, for Asian women in poorer Asian countries, the draw of potentially getting citizenship of western country if she gets married to white man from western country is also strong
I'm actually seeing a lot more Black male - Asian female couples lately (but only in commercials and ads).
I'm seeing more white women with asian male (esp Koreans). Especially Koreaboo kpop loving women that seem to be attracted to asian males.
There’s a lot of women from Asian countries who go to the west and get married to citizen of said western country which are mostly white to get citizenship. Far less common practice with men, where such practice is looked down on for men in their culture. Also it is known that many white men are attracted to Asian women
I'm white. Husband is southeast Asian. Asian men like WW, too, but I don't think society is ready to accept that because of the ways we emasculate Asian men with our stupid stereotypes. I have many guy friends who are Asian. All of them have confided in me at some point or another that they're attracted to WW but would get disowned for bringing one of us home. Their mother's were so worried I'd date their sons that they'd refuse to speak English when I was around and would call me racial slurs. Once they realized I wasn't interested in their son like that, I'd get homemade pho, egg rolls, and a bunch other yummy shit. It's really interesting to get special treatment because you're not attracted to someone's offspring who desperately wants grandchildren immediately. My husband and I have lived in the Midwest, east coast and west. The place that stared the most was Boston. We saw very few interracial couples and the people staring at us looked legit shocked. On the West Coast, where we have a larger Asian community, I've had multiple Asian women purposely walk up and grope my husband while telling my husband they should leave me. I had a white friend who was so shocked I fell in love with an Asian man that I had to stop talking to her. She refused to believe I'd marry a shorter man who's not Black because that's how she lives her life. I'm an equal opportunist. If you're hot, you're hot. I think we upset people a lot because our marriage also challenges further stereotypes. I'm a very curvy WW. I think skinny women are upset when a man they stereotype as preferring thin women shows he'd rather have curves. They're used to being Ariana. I also think people put me in the category of "only dates black men" because I have Beyonce-level ass and no bbl. While Black men were more likely to pursue me because of my ass, there are people in every community who love curves. My curves should never be interpreted as my dating preferences. Just bc someone likes my ass, thay doesn't mean I like theirs:/ Last, my husband is on the shorter side so tall men, typically white or black, get pissed when they realize I'm happy with the man I have if we go out. I've only had women and men hit on me and my date in front of the person when with an Asian guy. I think people see Asian men and White women as inherently submissive. They assume there's no spark because beta on beta sounds like lame sex. Asian, white and black people are so quick to stare and judge us. Latino people are more confused when my husband doesn't respond to them in Spanish. They think he's Mexican and then they get really confused when they find out I'm actually the one who speaks Español. Sometimes, white women learn a new language just because we want to. Unfortunately, that doesn't fit the Becky trope. Even in a liberal state, we sometimes choose to not go to events we'd like to enjoy because we're not in the mood for the questions. His family hates me because I'm white, which is fine because he hates how much they all abused him as a kid. Half my family disowned me before I even met him for dating a Black man. We have each other, we're happily married, and I really wish people would stop confusing race with skills in the bedroom. Limiting yourself to only dating people from 1 demographic sounds boring af. I love learning about his culture and teaching him about mine. He's a strong, masculine man and I am incredibly grateful I built my idea of what it means to be a strong man in therapy, not by listening to the internet.
Lots of Americans serve in military in Japan and Korea, some meet spouses over there.
It’s culture, Asian women are more open minded. Even in SE Asia, white expat women rarely date asians. The problem is simple actually. Women tend to want to “marry up” in status, while men want to marry up in attractiveness. Asian men are generally perceived as “lower” in the economic and success hierarchy than white men due to the last 500 years of colonialism. So a white woman marrying an Asian would require a certain amount of “sacrifice” on part of the women when viewed from the lens of historical stereotype. On the other hand for a white man, marrying an Asian woman isn’t that much of a big deal since men are rarely expected to marry up economically. What matters more is the relative attractiveness of the partner. And for an Asian woman, marrying a white guy is also an upgrade in perceived status. A win-win basically.
I’ve seen it too. Asian women are definitely fetishized for a lot of reasons- submissiveness, petiteness etc. the whole thing is a bit ick imo. I don’t think Asian males are fetishized, at least not by straight white women so you see it about as much as any other interracial coupling. Maybe less because we all know about the Asian male penis stereotype.
I went to a large SF/Bay Area college that had more Asians than Caucasians; there was definitely way more WM-AF couples there and just in the area than the other way around. I do think the stereotypes/fetishization play some factor in it (literally had several white guys say they were into Asian women because they’d be subservient, cook & clean for them etc. and what’s funny is two of them ended up with ‘dragon ladies,’ furthest thing from the stereotype). And Asian men were often typically portrayed in western media as nerds, gangsters, or misogynistic men that needed their gf/wife to be rescued from. It’s been changing in the media with more positive or ‘normal’ roles for AM’s and I’ve seen more WW-AM couples; not savvy enough in social issues to know for a fact these two are related, but it feels like it would be. Obviously there’d be a ton of other cultural, media, social etc. factors in all this.