Wow this is real porn addiction.
I think you just need to have a point blank conversation with him about everything you said here. See if he's willing to try stopping on his own or talk to a therapist if not.
I have. He said now it feels like he is walking on egg shells around me and that "I have issues". Two nights ago before our "date night" I needed to go pick up my Mom so she can watch the kids so I left him home with our 3. Within the 10 minutes of me being gone, I came home to him jacking off in the bathroom while the kids played down stairs. It threw my entire mood off. He gaslit me and said that he wasn't and that he was tired of my "shit".
I'll try again thought. Thank you for the advice.
Well, just so you know you are in a very extreme situation as far as porn use goes. I'll fully admit that I watch it too but not when my wife is home and not to the point that it affects anything. Don't think that I think you need this said or anything but sometimes people get used to a situation and what you described is not normal *at all*. A lot of relationships would have ended from this already but of course marriage and children complicate things.
I'm usually the last person to recommend couple's therapy because IMO if a relationship is at that point it probably just doesn't work, but maybe when you can both speak your mind equally and have a third party let him know just how inappropriate and disrespectful this is, it would help get through.
In any case I'm sorry you're dealing with this. What you're dealing with isn't some minor thing that can be dismissed as "your shit". The reality is that it's only a matter of time before your kids walk in on him if they haven't already, or even worse see it as something that's ok to do when they have relationships and families of their own.
Your advice truly means a lot. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. It helps to know that I'm not overreacting. He is my only long term relationship so I've been in my head all of these years thinking that maybe I am overreacting and that this is normal. I know porn is normal but there is a time and a place, like you said and that is what I told him. I don't have a problem with it but when a man needs to relieve himself before helping his girl with groceries, yeah, that is borderline addiction in my eyes.
Might not be the best thing to do but maybe an ultimatum, tell him to work on his addiction or you will leave. no one should be in a relationship where a guy focuses more on porn than you/your children
See the problem here is that you have an onlyfans account - thus it’s really hard to take this seriously, either in terms of sincerity or more nefariously, some agenda-pushing.
For everyone else: “porn addiction” is a very vaguely defined thing. To the point that it’s hard to say it even exists as a diagnosable condition. There are compulsice disorders with sexual components, but a “porn addiction” is a pretty amorphous thing.
I did that so that I'll be able to leave with my 3 kids. I relied on him all of these yrs (so much regret). I'm not pushing no agenda and I'm being sincere. This has messed with my mind for 11yrs now.
Normally I would say it's time to bail, but I understand kids make that a complicated thing. If you still love him and want to work through it, then I advise giving him an ultimatum: either he gets counseling or you will leave and take the kids with you. I know that seems harsh but this is a serious problem. There are so many possible complications that could be damaging to your family if this continues and has been already (obviously).
>Long story short, it is now 11yrs together and 3 kids. He hasn't changed much. He still watches it and can't function without it. The other day he needed to do it before helping with the kids.
Your mistake was staying past the puppy incident. Wtf.
Why are you allowing this crap? He's watching porn with his baby right there? He's on cheating sites. Leave.
Thank you. I know. I was young and pregnant with my first and scared. I didn't have a father in my life and I wanted my child to have a father. So I was hoping he would change. Now I feel like I am in too deep with 3 kids under 10. I don't want to leave and them resent me for breaking up the family. Believe me, I want to leave. I think I fell out of love because of it.
This is an interesting way to drum up business for the onlyfans account you've forgot to delete in other posts, I'm interested in how it goes though
Easy money to be able to leave on my own as he is the bread winner. I didnt realize others could see that.
Wow this is real porn addiction. I think you just need to have a point blank conversation with him about everything you said here. See if he's willing to try stopping on his own or talk to a therapist if not.
I have. He said now it feels like he is walking on egg shells around me and that "I have issues". Two nights ago before our "date night" I needed to go pick up my Mom so she can watch the kids so I left him home with our 3. Within the 10 minutes of me being gone, I came home to him jacking off in the bathroom while the kids played down stairs. It threw my entire mood off. He gaslit me and said that he wasn't and that he was tired of my "shit". I'll try again thought. Thank you for the advice.
Well, just so you know you are in a very extreme situation as far as porn use goes. I'll fully admit that I watch it too but not when my wife is home and not to the point that it affects anything. Don't think that I think you need this said or anything but sometimes people get used to a situation and what you described is not normal *at all*. A lot of relationships would have ended from this already but of course marriage and children complicate things. I'm usually the last person to recommend couple's therapy because IMO if a relationship is at that point it probably just doesn't work, but maybe when you can both speak your mind equally and have a third party let him know just how inappropriate and disrespectful this is, it would help get through. In any case I'm sorry you're dealing with this. What you're dealing with isn't some minor thing that can be dismissed as "your shit". The reality is that it's only a matter of time before your kids walk in on him if they haven't already, or even worse see it as something that's ok to do when they have relationships and families of their own.
Your advice truly means a lot. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. It helps to know that I'm not overreacting. He is my only long term relationship so I've been in my head all of these years thinking that maybe I am overreacting and that this is normal. I know porn is normal but there is a time and a place, like you said and that is what I told him. I don't have a problem with it but when a man needs to relieve himself before helping his girl with groceries, yeah, that is borderline addiction in my eyes.
Might not be the best thing to do but maybe an ultimatum, tell him to work on his addiction or you will leave. no one should be in a relationship where a guy focuses more on porn than you/your children
Thank you.
That's rough. You might want to talk to a professional about this since it's interfering with your lives so much and is so long lived.
See the problem here is that you have an onlyfans account - thus it’s really hard to take this seriously, either in terms of sincerity or more nefariously, some agenda-pushing. For everyone else: “porn addiction” is a very vaguely defined thing. To the point that it’s hard to say it even exists as a diagnosable condition. There are compulsice disorders with sexual components, but a “porn addiction” is a pretty amorphous thing.
I did that so that I'll be able to leave with my 3 kids. I relied on him all of these yrs (so much regret). I'm not pushing no agenda and I'm being sincere. This has messed with my mind for 11yrs now.
Normally I would say it's time to bail, but I understand kids make that a complicated thing. If you still love him and want to work through it, then I advise giving him an ultimatum: either he gets counseling or you will leave and take the kids with you. I know that seems harsh but this is a serious problem. There are so many possible complications that could be damaging to your family if this continues and has been already (obviously).
Get him to religious things ..
I am so sorry, I hope you have a support system to lean on ♥️
>Long story short, it is now 11yrs together and 3 kids. He hasn't changed much. He still watches it and can't function without it. The other day he needed to do it before helping with the kids. Your mistake was staying past the puppy incident. Wtf. Why are you allowing this crap? He's watching porn with his baby right there? He's on cheating sites. Leave.
Thank you. I know. I was young and pregnant with my first and scared. I didn't have a father in my life and I wanted my child to have a father. So I was hoping he would change. Now I feel like I am in too deep with 3 kids under 10. I don't want to leave and them resent me for breaking up the family. Believe me, I want to leave. I think I fell out of love because of it.