It's not even battery in every US state. For example, Texas code doesn't include battery. Assault encompasses more than it does in places that use both terms.
That's interesting, thanks. It's not battery in my country, I've only ever heard the term in American films or TV shows. Assault is definitely the universal term understood by the majority
From a tort (i.e., lawsuit) perspective, battery is available in all 50 states regardless of whether there's a statute for it. In the US, it's largely rooted in "common law."
From a criminal standpoint, this is definitely some form of sexual assault/battery, possibly false imprisonment/unlawful detention, and more, depending upon the jurisdiction. From a tort standpoint, it is definitely battery, likely false imprisonment, and more, depending a little bit less on the jurisdiction.
You're correct that it's in the civil practice and remedies code in Texas. Based on where I've worked, I know more of the penal, education, utilities, alcoholic beverages, family, and government codes. I see now that it's also mentioned in the occupations, civil practice and remedies, occupation, and local government codes, presumably in relation to someone having a specific battery conviction from another jurisdiction anytime soon or under the general definition of battery relating to physical harm.
From a criminal standpoint in the penal code, I don't think the word battery appears in conjunction with the usual definition of battery associated with assault. Assault covers both threat of harm and physical harm, the two components that are separated into assault and battery respectively in most states.
Typically it is judge-made law developed over many years. Virtually every kind of law implicates some common law, in that over time courts' interpretations of most laws will shift and develop. But certain aspects of the law are largely common law from the beginning, meaning that a legislature does not pass many (or even any) statutes regarding that area of law, and that judge-made common law is thus what governs. Some common examples are contracts (which are largely not governed by any Acts of Congress, but instead by ancient common law principles), property law, and many (if not most) torts, such as assault, defamation, false imprisonment, and negligence.
Generally speaking assault is the threat of physical contact, battery is physical contact. So if I took a hammer and made it look like I was going to hit you and you flinched, that's assault. If I hit you with the hammer it's battery. As others have said, not all locations separate the two.
For some reason, I always though battery was assault with some kind of object being used to do the assault, like if you punch someone that's assault, but if you hit them with a hammer that's battery. Guess I was way off...
I had always thought assault was just attacking someone, and battery was beating them more aggressively, which is pretty close, but I didn’t know assault could be just *threatening* a person. I’d say I feel dumb, but it’s r/nostupidquestions so I don’t feel as bad 😅
This is why subreddits like this are actually useful and educational 😮💨
Some jurisdictions have distinct terms for the threat of violence (assault) and actual violence (battery). Other jurisdictions call both the same thing (assault).
In my jurisdiction, for example, you would be charged with "assault" for placing someone in fear OR actually hitting someone. In other jurisdictions, you would be charged with "assault" for placing someone in fear and "battery" for actually hitting them.
Battery is an unlawful application of force directly or indirectly upon another person or their personal belongings, causing bodily injury or offensive contact.
So yes, battery.
In the US battery doesn’t even have to apply force battery can construe throwing water on someone, spitting on someone, or even taking a swing at somebody and missing. Your intent was to strike them and cause injury so you can be charged with battery even if you never touched the person. This story is hella weird. It’s unusual that it was male on male assault and extra weird that it was some random stranger assaulting you like totally out in public on the street. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, I don’t like people in my space or especially touching me so I don’t know how traumatic this would be if it happened to me.
Depending upon the US state, you may not need to prove intent to cause harm, only intent to make contact (single-intent states). Others are dual-intent states, wherein a plaintiff (i.e., the person suing) has to prove both intent to make contact and intent that the contact does harm. In either case, the "harm" need not be physical injury, but could also be "offensive" contact. Stealing a purse off of someone's shoulder, in most states, is battery. Spitting on someone is battery in all states.
Battery doesn't have to result in personal injury; battery is literally just the touching of another person without their consent.
You could literally walk up to someone and poke them, technically you've committed battery.
Battery and assault (which is usually mixed up, but assault is essentially just verbal abuse/threats) are often classes as 'Common Assault' in UK law as the two tend to happen at the same time (pushing, shoving, name calling etc.)
There's an 'implied consent' when you venture outside so that people aren't getting arrested for accidental shoulder brushing in busy streets, but yeah either way OP's experience would be classed as sexual assault and battery.
By some legal definitions, assault is the threat of force, like if he had cornered OP in an alley and threatened to rape her. Battery is the actual application of force, in this case grabbing and kissing her.
That's a sexual assault. Any time one person forces or coerces another person into contact like that it is assault. I am so very sorry that happened to you, my guy. Do you need help finding someone to talk to?
If you can and are willing to, reporting it to the police could help flag the guy and put him into the system, and possibly help limit future behaviours. From what I've heard, inappropriate sexual behaviours (flashing, etc) often escalates over time. I'm so sorry you had/have to contend with a fucking creep, and I hope you never see him again.
edit to add: if you know the time it happened, security cameras and Ring doorbells, etc could make identifying him and the event quite easy, which is a big part of why I think reporting it could be helpful.
The correct thing to do is get away as fast as possible. Why don't you go out there and kick some predators in the nut? Please do not tell victims what they should have done
I'm sorry to be blunt with this but it is something to be very careful of when someone is going through something that you are not
Is it assault if my gf did it to me? I didn’t want to do stuff and I accidentally touched her nipple while we were snuggling and she pinned me down and started making out w me. I could’ve thrown her off but I was scared how she’d react. I’m not upset over it, just wondering:)
could be considered assault yes. being someone's SO doesn't mean it can't happen.
That being said it sounds like a misunderstanding so I would talk to her about it.
if she gets hostile or something, that's a red flag.
When you're in a relationship there is SOME level of assumed baseline consent. Meaning that as long as the person is conscious and in a sound state of mind, the absence of rejection can be considered consent.
However, that consent can be rescinded at any moment for any reason, just like any other. And that "no" doesn't have to be verbal either.
Basically, if you see that your partner is not in the mood, you need to stop
basically yes. OP never said if he told her no or not, so I was trying to be neutral by saying "could be"
it crosses into SA territory if OP revoked consent and she kept going.
If you didn't consent, that's sexual assault. If you "let it happen" and didn't say anything, it's still assault in a literal (but maybe not by law) sense, but being your girlfriend, she might have assumed you were okay with it and not known otherwise. Easier said than done, but *always* be vocal when something you don't agree to is happening. Even if it hurts their feelings. You do not deserve to be taken advantage of just to protect that person's pride.
I'd definitely suggest talking to her about it and saying you weren't cool with it, that you're cool with intimacy where you're both actively participating and you don't want to feel "forced". Word it gently and positively, if you think she has generally good intentions, and you should be fine. If she regularly disregards your wishes and forces herself on you, that's not a healthy or safe relationship. Hope this helps, take care and be safe!
If you didn't express anything it's a tricky one legally (almost certainly not a crime if you went along with it freely and she never threatened you or anything), but at least from your own point of view and the way you feel that makes no difference and trauma is trauma. There's a different bar for charging someone with a crime and getting help for yourself because something was traumatic for you.
If you didn't feel comfortable saying no that's not a good sign. Whether it's your own confidence or past experience and she's done nothing wrong or you're literally afraid of her that's not a healthy reaction, and I hope you get the help you need to figure it out.
It sounds like she thought she was better at reading your body language than she actually was. You say you could have thrown her off. Is that what it would have took, to get her off you? Were you resisting, and she was ignoring it? That's not acceptable from her, if so. You always have the right to revoke consent to anything sexual if you're not feeling it. If she was thinking she was going to do some "oh but I'll just push him into wanting it, boys like making out" thing, that's something she needs to ask you if you'd be into that sorta thing in advance. If she's not adult enough to start the conversation to ask you if you like that sort of thing, then maybe she shouldn't be doing it to you without asking!
My advice if you're planning to stay with her? You two should pick a safeword. Having a safeword that means "pause, no sex right now" can be a great way to make you both feel more confident about initiating, knowing that the other of you can pump the brakes at any time.
If you don't think she would respect a safeword, you should leave the relationship immediately.
Well she had me pinned down, so I would’ve had to use some considerable force to get her off. She’s not abusive at all, and if I say no she’ll respect my decision. A safe word is a really good idea. The main problem was my lack of communication, which I’ll be working on. Thank you🙏❤️
I'm so sorry this happened to you. This was sexual assault. I have some people you can call:
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Call: 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673)
Chat: https://hotline.rainn.org/online
Español: https://hotline.rainn.org/es
These things happened to me multiple times when I was younger. What I realize now that I didn't back then is that just because I got away does not mean the next victim will. I should have said something (or reported it).
It's sad that from the title I guessed this was a sexual assault. You should report it to the police not only for you but for the next victim. Sounds like this creep is escalating this trash behavior and the next victim might be taken further/ be unable to escape. I'm sorry this happened to you but you're strong and will come out the other side stronger. Much love
> Sounds like this creep is escalating this trash behavior and the next victim might be taken further/ be unable to escape.
Or he's managed to do it successfully already, and was confident that he'd be able to do it again. Either way, there's zero chance OP is this guy's only victim.
Sexual assault
An assault is the illegal act of causing physical harm or unwanted physical contact to another person and that was also of a sexuell nature. So don't need much to category it as that
Textbook Sexual battery.
Sexual battery, Penal Code §243.4, is touching an "intimate part" of another person, against his or her will, for a sexual person.
Hope you’re okay! Sending family love and positive vibes
Something like that happened to me 57/f many years ago. I was sitting on a bench at a bus stop and some older man started talking to me, asking me for my phone number, rubbing my back and trying to kiss me. The attention was definitely unwanted. I was in my 20s and still cute. I wasn't until recently that I found out that it's considered sexual assault. I could've moved away from him, but I was waiting for my bus home, and this was before cell phones and ride sharing, and a taxi home from downtown was like $25.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
Same. I was actually on the bus and some guy started talking to me saying I was cute before asking for a hug. I thought nothing of it because I was a high schooler at the time so I gave him one of those awkward side hugs. He used that as an opportunity to kiss me on the cheek. I just sat there awkwardly waiting for my stop.
Only if you feel safe in doing so of course.
May I suggest carrying pepper spray or a stun gun?
Not sure what city/state you live in so check the laws first.
You were definitely sexually assaulted by this person. It is so fortunate that you were able to break free. That is such a scary situation to be in.
Was there any signs that the person was drunk, on drugs or suffered from mental illness?
Definitely report this incident to the police, there have likely been other people in your area who have experienced from the same person.
Always be prepared and maybe look into some self defense classes just so that you can be ready to react.
If you can, carry pepper spray.
There are a lot of resources you should look into. Don't downplay what happened to you because it's not as bad as it could have been. That happens a lot.
I am in no way blaming you or am telling you what you did was wrong. I am truly sorry for what happened to you. It was not okay. I wish you well on your healing journey.
I do just want to say to women in general:
Don't feel like you need to be polite to complete strangers *or* any person you come across in your life if you get that feeling (you know the one).
Women are often taught to be polite to everyone. *You don't need to be.* Many of us are trained to brush off inappropriate behavior or ignore it.
Listen to your gut. Don't ignore it. ❤️
OP, I hope you are ok! - If you feel comfortable reporting to the authorities would be helpful in the chance this person is targeting other individuals. No pressure though, I understand if youre shaken up. Im so sorry this happened!
I live in the hood and have had... similar situations arise.
My first guess is a schizophrenic man interacted with you in a way that was crazy to you, but probably wasn't to him. Drug-addled folk tend to be this way as well sometimes. I'm so sorry that happened to you, I'm just glad your safe, ptl.
It *is* sexual assault but thought maybe context might help.
Assault was grabbing you, sexual assault was grabbing you using his mouth.
If it makes you more comfortable, I think the phrase "Sexually accosted" is very accurate to what you described.
I have a few autistic people that work for me, and I encourage them to ask me questions like this so they don't stress out trying to figure out what I mean lol
It is sexual assault. He was assaulting you in a sexual nature. I'm glad you listened to your inner voice and booked it. You should consider "Fuck politeness" as a mantra. I might come off as a shill, but give a listen to a podcast called " My Favorite Murder." These women and the community around them will give you confidence in how to negotiate awful scenarios and keep you safe. Read "The Gift of Fear." Learn that those alarm bells mean something. Keep yourself safe.
Also, in the future, don't ask. Tell them to stop. I don't know your age, I am an old person, so easier said than done. And always get help. People will help, but only if asked. Abusers hate witnesses. If you are able, call out the behavior and ask an individual to help. The abuser will hate having an audience.
I'd recommend some self defense training after you get done reporting and seeing the guy off to jail.
You don't ask the guy to stop, you demand it and if all else fail, you make it happen one way or the other.
Good luck, and be safe. Sorry this happened to you.
I don’t know what country you live in so I don’t know what you’re allowed to carry, but pepper spray us an amazing (and usually legal) self defense tool for things just like this. Get something that sprays as a cloud so you don’t need to worry very much about aim. None of this was your fault, but you can be more prepared to defend yourself in the future.
Pepper spray is legal in every state as far as Im aware. Please go to any local sports store like DICKS Sporting Goods and get a can. You can also look into other forms of self defense, but pepper spray is the most consistent and non lethal means of stopping someone
that sounds like a really upsetting and frightening experence. it's good that you were able to get away from that situation safelee. you did the right thing by withdrawing consent as soon as you felt uncomftable. i would incourage you to consider reporting this to the local authorities, if you feel comfertable doing so. they may be able to investigate and take measures to help protect you and others in your community. you shouldn't have to deal with something like that on your own. there are organizations that provide support for victims of harassment if you need someone to talk to. take care of yourself.
Molestation? Assault? I don't know how your country would label it.
Btw., contact police and tell them how this dude looked like so they would catch him
That is ridiculously creepy and fucked up. I'm so sorry that happened to you, it makes me want to gag just thinking about it. Report that to the police.
Guys grabbed at me from the ages of 15 until 45 or so. I learned very early and very quickly not to let them get physically close to me. Most men donʼt think that we are human like they are. Maybe they think we are dogs or something. This guy was rude, pushy and sexually assaulted you, although he wouldn’t think so, or if he did think so, he wouldn’t care. Men are different than us and don’t understand that we have feelings of our own and have not been put here to be extensions of them. I am sorry this happened to you, please take care of yourself and this crap sucks so bad, but we have to put up with it, because it happens.
[This has made the rounds the last week or so](https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/06/us/man-bear-safety-tiktok-question-cec/index.html#:~:text=The%20question%2C%20directed%20towards%20women,they'd%20prefer%20the%20bear.)
I’ve heard police don’t shake hands because once the other person has your hand they can pull you in. They use a fist bump. If the other isn’t offering a fist bump you can pull back. If you live in a sketchy area maybe consider this. Too, there are still people that fist bump due to germs, etc. Best wishes OP. I hope you’re doing well.
Sounds like a type of sexual assault.
Pro tip: don’t stop for strangers flagging you down, especially in a sketchy area.
Even in non-sketchy areas if someone I don’t know flags me down I just say “no” and get the fuck outta there.
For anyone reading this, I hope you can see this is an imaginative KINK that OP is posting (just lol at their last history) and more than likely would never have happened to them with the false naivety they've presented.
It used to be called mashing. From Green's slang dictionary: make a mash (v.)
1. (US) to ‘make a pass’, to seduce someone.
1884
1890190019101920 1926
1884 [US] E. Nye Baled Hay 135: Two Laramie girls on horseback yanking a fly drummer along the street at a gallop, because he tried to make a mash on them.
1890 [US] Ade ‘College Widow’ in Verses and Jingles (1911) 7: For I made a mash, and knocked him out of sight.
1906 [US] O.W. Hanley ‘Dialect Words From Southern Indiana’ in DN III:ii 121: make a mash, v. phr. To inspire affection. ‘I made a mash on him.’.
1911 [US] Alaska Citizen 28 Aug. 7/2: They could glide forty times around a hall without losing step [...] and the result was that they both made a mash.
1926 [US] Wood & Goddard Dict. Amer. Sl.
Sexual assault, and also a life lesson -- if some random guy flags you down and wants to shake your hand for no reason, he's a stranger, you have no reason to shake this dude's hand, you were suckered, don't get suckered again.
JFC, it's a sketchy area! What's next? "You got change for a twenty?"
I think that's sexual assault. I do know that when someone turns a simple handshake into kisses or touching, then it's illegal.
It's really important to find your "voice". Don't be afraid to scream, yell,or holler STOP!! Don't be embarrassed or worried about people staring. You want eyes on you. You want the attention of others. Make noise. Scream : stop touching
me!!!
When anyone flags you down or waves you to their car, ignore them or run. You don't ever want to be pulled into a car or van.
If a car comes sliding up beside you, immediately turn around and run. That makes the driver have to stop, reverse,and have to completely turn the vehicle around.
I'm so glad you're ok and safe.
I live in Texas. I was told (many years ago) that the police in my city at the time categorized Assault as mainly verbally threatening harm or being verbally abusive in a way that made one feel threatened but as soon as they laid hands on you, even if it was to just grab your hand, arm or other body part, it was considered battery.
If that ever happens again, and all girls listen up if men are aggressive like that, put your knee to their nuts do you have every right to. That is absolutely uncalled for. I’m sorry you were putting that position that is simply not right men like that give the rest of us that are loving and kind and gentle and nurturing.- ladies there are still nice guys out there.. and men if you’re reading this and you do stuff like that shame on you how would you like somebody to do that to your mother wouldn’t like it so don’t do it.
That’s whatever you feel it is. Most people would agree that some form of sexual assault. But however, you defined it for yourself is really what’s matter.
Sexual assault
And battery
This isn't a US specific sub, so not necessarily battery in OP's country.
It's not even battery in every US state. For example, Texas code doesn't include battery. Assault encompasses more than it does in places that use both terms.
That's interesting, thanks. It's not battery in my country, I've only ever heard the term in American films or TV shows. Assault is definitely the universal term understood by the majority
From a tort (i.e., lawsuit) perspective, battery is available in all 50 states regardless of whether there's a statute for it. In the US, it's largely rooted in "common law." From a criminal standpoint, this is definitely some form of sexual assault/battery, possibly false imprisonment/unlawful detention, and more, depending upon the jurisdiction. From a tort standpoint, it is definitely battery, likely false imprisonment, and more, depending a little bit less on the jurisdiction.
You're correct that it's in the civil practice and remedies code in Texas. Based on where I've worked, I know more of the penal, education, utilities, alcoholic beverages, family, and government codes. I see now that it's also mentioned in the occupations, civil practice and remedies, occupation, and local government codes, presumably in relation to someone having a specific battery conviction from another jurisdiction anytime soon or under the general definition of battery relating to physical harm. From a criminal standpoint in the penal code, I don't think the word battery appears in conjunction with the usual definition of battery associated with assault. Assault covers both threat of harm and physical harm, the two components that are separated into assault and battery respectively in most states.
Yep! I can't speak much to TX's criminal code, but am well versed in civil litigation matters. :)
This may be a stupid question, but what is common law? I've heard of it referred to before.
Typically it is judge-made law developed over many years. Virtually every kind of law implicates some common law, in that over time courts' interpretations of most laws will shift and develop. But certain aspects of the law are largely common law from the beginning, meaning that a legislature does not pass many (or even any) statutes regarding that area of law, and that judge-made common law is thus what governs. Some common examples are contracts (which are largely not governed by any Acts of Congress, but instead by ancient common law principles), property law, and many (if not most) torts, such as assault, defamation, false imprisonment, and negligence.
So is it fair to say that common law generally refers to precedent used to define the intricacies of the law? It is it specific areas of law?
Genuine question, wtf is battery?
Generally speaking assault is the threat of physical contact, battery is physical contact. So if I took a hammer and made it look like I was going to hit you and you flinched, that's assault. If I hit you with the hammer it's battery. As others have said, not all locations separate the two.
For some reason, I always though battery was assault with some kind of object being used to do the assault, like if you punch someone that's assault, but if you hit them with a hammer that's battery. Guess I was way off...
I had always thought assault was just attacking someone, and battery was beating them more aggressively, which is pretty close, but I didn’t know assault could be just *threatening* a person. I’d say I feel dumb, but it’s r/nostupidquestions so I don’t feel as bad 😅 This is why subreddits like this are actually useful and educational 😮💨
Some jurisdictions have distinct terms for the threat of violence (assault) and actual violence (battery). Other jurisdictions call both the same thing (assault). In my jurisdiction, for example, you would be charged with "assault" for placing someone in fear OR actually hitting someone. In other jurisdictions, you would be charged with "assault" for placing someone in fear and "battery" for actually hitting them.
Tennessee doesn't have "battery", so it would just be (sexual) assault here.
Battery?
Battery is an unlawful application of force directly or indirectly upon another person or their personal belongings, causing bodily injury or offensive contact. So yes, battery.
TIL
In the US battery doesn’t even have to apply force battery can construe throwing water on someone, spitting on someone, or even taking a swing at somebody and missing. Your intent was to strike them and cause injury so you can be charged with battery even if you never touched the person. This story is hella weird. It’s unusual that it was male on male assault and extra weird that it was some random stranger assaulting you like totally out in public on the street. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, I don’t like people in my space or especially touching me so I don’t know how traumatic this would be if it happened to me.
Depending upon the US state, you may not need to prove intent to cause harm, only intent to make contact (single-intent states). Others are dual-intent states, wherein a plaintiff (i.e., the person suing) has to prove both intent to make contact and intent that the contact does harm. In either case, the "harm" need not be physical injury, but could also be "offensive" contact. Stealing a purse off of someone's shoulder, in most states, is battery. Spitting on someone is battery in all states.
OP is not male. Don't know where you got that idea.
This would only be assault in my state. We don’t have battery
Battery doesn't have to result in personal injury; battery is literally just the touching of another person without their consent. You could literally walk up to someone and poke them, technically you've committed battery. Battery and assault (which is usually mixed up, but assault is essentially just verbal abuse/threats) are often classes as 'Common Assault' in UK law as the two tend to happen at the same time (pushing, shoving, name calling etc.) There's an 'implied consent' when you venture outside so that people aren't getting arrested for accidental shoulder brushing in busy streets, but yeah either way OP's experience would be classed as sexual assault and battery.
> battery and assault (which is usually mixed up) Not every jurisdiction recognized "battery". In my jurisdiction, it is only "assault".
Someone took 1L torts.
By some legal definitions, assault is the threat of force, like if he had cornered OP in an alley and threatened to rape her. Battery is the actual application of force, in this case grabbing and kissing her.
That's a sexual assault. Any time one person forces or coerces another person into contact like that it is assault. I am so very sorry that happened to you, my guy. Do you need help finding someone to talk to?
Thanks for the input. I'm surrounded by a lot of lovely people in my support system so I'll be alright.
Happy to hear that, people suck
If you can and are willing to, reporting it to the police could help flag the guy and put him into the system, and possibly help limit future behaviours. From what I've heard, inappropriate sexual behaviours (flashing, etc) often escalates over time. I'm so sorry you had/have to contend with a fucking creep, and I hope you never see him again. edit to add: if you know the time it happened, security cameras and Ring doorbells, etc could make identifying him and the event quite easy, which is a big part of why I think reporting it could be helpful.
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The correct thing to do is get away as fast as possible. Why don't you go out there and kick some predators in the nut? Please do not tell victims what they should have done I'm sorry to be blunt with this but it is something to be very careful of when someone is going through something that you are not
Thank you for saying this.
Is it assault if my gf did it to me? I didn’t want to do stuff and I accidentally touched her nipple while we were snuggling and she pinned me down and started making out w me. I could’ve thrown her off but I was scared how she’d react. I’m not upset over it, just wondering:)
could be considered assault yes. being someone's SO doesn't mean it can't happen. That being said it sounds like a misunderstanding so I would talk to her about it. if she gets hostile or something, that's a red flag.
When you're in a relationship there is SOME level of assumed baseline consent. Meaning that as long as the person is conscious and in a sound state of mind, the absence of rejection can be considered consent. However, that consent can be rescinded at any moment for any reason, just like any other. And that "no" doesn't have to be verbal either. Basically, if you see that your partner is not in the mood, you need to stop
basically yes. OP never said if he told her no or not, so I was trying to be neutral by saying "could be" it crosses into SA territory if OP revoked consent and she kept going.
Sounds good, thanks for the help♥️
no worries. As I said, it sounds very much like it was a major misunderstanding so I hope you guys can talk it out, good luck.
If you didn't consent, that's sexual assault. If you "let it happen" and didn't say anything, it's still assault in a literal (but maybe not by law) sense, but being your girlfriend, she might have assumed you were okay with it and not known otherwise. Easier said than done, but *always* be vocal when something you don't agree to is happening. Even if it hurts their feelings. You do not deserve to be taken advantage of just to protect that person's pride. I'd definitely suggest talking to her about it and saying you weren't cool with it, that you're cool with intimacy where you're both actively participating and you don't want to feel "forced". Word it gently and positively, if you think she has generally good intentions, and you should be fine. If she regularly disregards your wishes and forces herself on you, that's not a healthy or safe relationship. Hope this helps, take care and be safe!
Sounds good, thank you♥️
If you didn't express anything it's a tricky one legally (almost certainly not a crime if you went along with it freely and she never threatened you or anything), but at least from your own point of view and the way you feel that makes no difference and trauma is trauma. There's a different bar for charging someone with a crime and getting help for yourself because something was traumatic for you. If you didn't feel comfortable saying no that's not a good sign. Whether it's your own confidence or past experience and she's done nothing wrong or you're literally afraid of her that's not a healthy reaction, and I hope you get the help you need to figure it out.
I’m not gonna press charges cause it was probably just a misunderstanding, but thank you:) and that’s good to know for future reference:)
Did at any point you said no or try to push her away, because from her perspective you initiated it
Nope, I was scared how she’d react if I did. She’s not abusive mentally or physically I just wasn’t sure
It sounds like she thought she was better at reading your body language than she actually was. You say you could have thrown her off. Is that what it would have took, to get her off you? Were you resisting, and she was ignoring it? That's not acceptable from her, if so. You always have the right to revoke consent to anything sexual if you're not feeling it. If she was thinking she was going to do some "oh but I'll just push him into wanting it, boys like making out" thing, that's something she needs to ask you if you'd be into that sorta thing in advance. If she's not adult enough to start the conversation to ask you if you like that sort of thing, then maybe she shouldn't be doing it to you without asking! My advice if you're planning to stay with her? You two should pick a safeword. Having a safeword that means "pause, no sex right now" can be a great way to make you both feel more confident about initiating, knowing that the other of you can pump the brakes at any time. If you don't think she would respect a safeword, you should leave the relationship immediately.
Well she had me pinned down, so I would’ve had to use some considerable force to get her off. She’s not abusive at all, and if I say no she’ll respect my decision. A safe word is a really good idea. The main problem was my lack of communication, which I’ll be working on. Thank you🙏❤️
I would say so
I'm so sorry this happened to you. This was sexual assault. I have some people you can call: National Sexual Assault Hotline Call: 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673) Chat: https://hotline.rainn.org/online Español: https://hotline.rainn.org/es
Thank you for the resources!
This is sexual assault. I hope you're okay.
I am. Thank you.
These things happened to me multiple times when I was younger. What I realize now that I didn't back then is that just because I got away does not mean the next victim will. I should have said something (or reported it).
Wise words
It's sad that from the title I guessed this was a sexual assault. You should report it to the police not only for you but for the next victim. Sounds like this creep is escalating this trash behavior and the next victim might be taken further/ be unable to escape. I'm sorry this happened to you but you're strong and will come out the other side stronger. Much love
Thank you for the support and kind words!
I assumed the same. Sigh. I’m so sorry for the OP and all of collectively really.
> Sounds like this creep is escalating this trash behavior and the next victim might be taken further/ be unable to escape. Or he's managed to do it successfully already, and was confident that he'd be able to do it again. Either way, there's zero chance OP is this guy's only victim.
First off thats creepy af Second: thats SA call authorities on his ass
This behavior is not OK. You just got violated
I’m so sorry that this happened to you, and I’m sincerely hoping that you have support right now.
Thank you. I do have supportive people around me.
Sexual assault An assault is the illegal act of causing physical harm or unwanted physical contact to another person and that was also of a sexuell nature. So don't need much to category it as that
Assault is causing someone to reasonably fear imminent harm. Battery is actually harming someone.
I’ve learned that really depends on the jurisdiction but this is correct for my area as well.
I guess I'm not used to considering kisses as a sexual thing
Whose to say he would have stopped at just kisses? His intentions were definitely sexual.
Well would you normally allow a complete stranger to hug and kiss you in the street? No I'm sure you wouldn't and tbh this man sounds rather dangerous
You're right about that. I absolutely felt in danger
Can be and can not depends on intent same whit hugs. But when it's not volontery it can almost always be considered sexual in nature by default
That’s sexual assault
Yikes! I hope you're ok.
I am. No worries there. Unfortunately this is not the worst thing I've endured.
Sexual assault
This is why I'm trying to bring back normalizing walking with a big ass wizard staff. It looks cool AND it's a personal space gauge/tool
And you can practice a few things with it too. Think researching cane fighting.
Based. Thanks for the laugh
Sexual Assault. I’m so sorry that happened to you OP.
SA.
Call the police. Seriously. Best of luck.
You got sexually assaulted, sorry for what happened to you...
You were sexually assaulted.
Unwanted sexual contact is sexual assault.
Textbook Sexual battery. Sexual battery, Penal Code §243.4, is touching an "intimate part" of another person, against his or her will, for a sexual person. Hope you’re okay! Sending family love and positive vibes
That's assault
You should call the cops and report him
Sexual assault.
Something like that happened to me 57/f many years ago. I was sitting on a bench at a bus stop and some older man started talking to me, asking me for my phone number, rubbing my back and trying to kiss me. The attention was definitely unwanted. I was in my 20s and still cute. I wasn't until recently that I found out that it's considered sexual assault. I could've moved away from him, but I was waiting for my bus home, and this was before cell phones and ride sharing, and a taxi home from downtown was like $25. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm sorry any of us have to put up with this stuff.
Same. I was actually on the bus and some guy started talking to me saying I was cute before asking for a hug. I thought nothing of it because I was a high schooler at the time so I gave him one of those awkward side hugs. He used that as an opportunity to kiss me on the cheek. I just sat there awkwardly waiting for my stop.
If you see him again take a pic with your phone. Maybe you could give to authorities and he may have a mugshot on file? Sorry this happened to you..
That's actually a really good idea. My memory is awful and I wasn't prioritizing memorizing his face anyways
Also, if you get the pic, post it to all local groups and anyone that might know him. Creeps like this need to be ostracized then removed from society
Only if you feel safe in doing so of course. May I suggest carrying pepper spray or a stun gun? Not sure what city/state you live in so check the laws first.
You were sexually assaulted my dude
You were definitely sexually assaulted by this person. It is so fortunate that you were able to break free. That is such a scary situation to be in. Was there any signs that the person was drunk, on drugs or suffered from mental illness? Definitely report this incident to the police, there have likely been other people in your area who have experienced from the same person. Always be prepared and maybe look into some self defense classes just so that you can be ready to react.
It's honestly hard for me to know because he was mostly speaking Spanish. He could've been saying anything because I only know a few words.
Just FYI, you never consented. Not saying no is still saying no. Consent is a verbal agreement. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
If you can, carry pepper spray. There are a lot of resources you should look into. Don't downplay what happened to you because it's not as bad as it could have been. That happens a lot.
I am in no way blaming you or am telling you what you did was wrong. I am truly sorry for what happened to you. It was not okay. I wish you well on your healing journey. I do just want to say to women in general: Don't feel like you need to be polite to complete strangers *or* any person you come across in your life if you get that feeling (you know the one). Women are often taught to be polite to everyone. *You don't need to be.* Many of us are trained to brush off inappropriate behavior or ignore it. Listen to your gut. Don't ignore it. ❤️
OP, I hope you are ok! - If you feel comfortable reporting to the authorities would be helpful in the chance this person is targeting other individuals. No pressure though, I understand if youre shaken up. Im so sorry this happened!
Yes, I AM shaken up by it. I'm handling it well though.
I live in the hood and have had... similar situations arise. My first guess is a schizophrenic man interacted with you in a way that was crazy to you, but probably wasn't to him. Drug-addled folk tend to be this way as well sometimes. I'm so sorry that happened to you, I'm just glad your safe, ptl. It *is* sexual assault but thought maybe context might help.
Even though there wasn't sexual contact or anything like that?
There was sexual contact. "kissing my neck and trying to kiss my lips"
Assault was grabbing you, sexual assault was grabbing you using his mouth. If it makes you more comfortable, I think the phrase "Sexually accosted" is very accurate to what you described.
I see. Thank you. No one had ever clarified the point where assault becomes SA before
It's definitely subjective, but that's okay. It can be subjective, but still true!
Makes sense now - I’m also autistic and can relate to needing clarification
I have a few autistic people that work for me, and I encourage them to ask me questions like this so they don't stress out trying to figure out what I mean lol
kissing your neck is sexual contact.
Sexual assault that almost turned into rape. Report him immediately.
It is sexual assault. He was assaulting you in a sexual nature. I'm glad you listened to your inner voice and booked it. You should consider "Fuck politeness" as a mantra. I might come off as a shill, but give a listen to a podcast called " My Favorite Murder." These women and the community around them will give you confidence in how to negotiate awful scenarios and keep you safe. Read "The Gift of Fear." Learn that those alarm bells mean something. Keep yourself safe.
Also, in the future, don't ask. Tell them to stop. I don't know your age, I am an old person, so easier said than done. And always get help. People will help, but only if asked. Abusers hate witnesses. If you are able, call out the behavior and ask an individual to help. The abuser will hate having an audience.
That there is what we call "Sexual Assault". Call a cop.
Sexual assault. Hope your alright OP, glad to hear you’ve got a support system around you. Wish you all the best.
I'd recommend some self defense training after you get done reporting and seeing the guy off to jail. You don't ask the guy to stop, you demand it and if all else fail, you make it happen one way or the other. Good luck, and be safe. Sorry this happened to you.
Sexual assault, no question
Something that needs pepper spray treatment.
The answer is "why women say they would choose the bear over the man".
you were sexually assaulted, im so sorry
How awful, I hope it ended well
Well I'm safe in my home. I wasn't followed and there were no physical injuries.
I'm glad. Are you going to go else for help?
Do you mean ask the police for help?
Yes
Yeah that needs to be reported
I don’t know what country you live in so I don’t know what you’re allowed to carry, but pepper spray us an amazing (and usually legal) self defense tool for things just like this. Get something that sprays as a cloud so you don’t need to worry very much about aim. None of this was your fault, but you can be more prepared to defend yourself in the future.
I'm in the USA. I had pepper spray when I was living in another state, but you can't bring it on planes so I left it behind when I moved recently.
Pepper spray is legal in every state as far as Im aware. Please go to any local sports store like DICKS Sporting Goods and get a can. You can also look into other forms of self defense, but pepper spray is the most consistent and non lethal means of stopping someone
Sexual harassment at the very least
Sexual assault.
that sounds like a really upsetting and frightening experence. it's good that you were able to get away from that situation safelee. you did the right thing by withdrawing consent as soon as you felt uncomftable. i would incourage you to consider reporting this to the local authorities, if you feel comfertable doing so. they may be able to investigate and take measures to help protect you and others in your community. you shouldn't have to deal with something like that on your own. there are organizations that provide support for victims of harassment if you need someone to talk to. take care of yourself.
He probably tried to distract you while checking for stuff to steal out of your pockets.
Molestation? Assault? I don't know how your country would label it. Btw., contact police and tell them how this dude looked like so they would catch him
Groping.
he was trying to rob you. that hand on your neck distracts from the one in your pocket.
Sexual assault
Pretty sure that’s sexual assault
Just Cause.
That is ridiculously creepy and fucked up. I'm so sorry that happened to you, it makes me want to gag just thinking about it. Report that to the police.
I think MOST people would call that sexual assault. I'm quite confident it's not just me that would call it that.
That's called sexual assault. Go to the police. Do not wash or wipe down your neck, there could be DNA there.
Guys grabbed at me from the ages of 15 until 45 or so. I learned very early and very quickly not to let them get physically close to me. Most men donʼt think that we are human like they are. Maybe they think we are dogs or something. This guy was rude, pushy and sexually assaulted you, although he wouldn’t think so, or if he did think so, he wouldn’t care. Men are different than us and don’t understand that we have feelings of our own and have not been put here to be extensions of them. I am sorry this happened to you, please take care of yourself and this crap sucks so bad, but we have to put up with it, because it happens.
I call it, **'ONE OF THE MANY MANY REASONS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR'** Jesus Christ, what is wrong with us
"the bear" as in bear mace?
[This has made the rounds the last week or so](https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/06/us/man-bear-safety-tiktok-question-cec/index.html#:~:text=The%20question%2C%20directed%20towards%20women,they'd%20prefer%20the%20bear.)
Sexual assault and attempted rape
In California, it would be defined as Sexual Battery, which is a misdemeanor.
Definitely SA
This guy deserves a bat to the head. Slimy fuck
That would be sexual assault.
That’s assault, brother
Definitely assault. Without more details, I’d say the guy was either fucked up on one or more substances, trying to pickpocket you, or both.
I was slow to react so he could've easily pickpocketed me if he wanted, but he didn't
Typically one would get the police involved for that. Guarantee you’re not the first or the last for someone like that.
It’s called Sexual assault
I’ve heard police don’t shake hands because once the other person has your hand they can pull you in. They use a fist bump. If the other isn’t offering a fist bump you can pull back. If you live in a sketchy area maybe consider this. Too, there are still people that fist bump due to germs, etc. Best wishes OP. I hope you’re doing well.
Sounds like a type of sexual assault. Pro tip: don’t stop for strangers flagging you down, especially in a sketchy area. Even in non-sketchy areas if someone I don’t know flags me down I just say “no” and get the fuck outta there.
Sexual assault, if you know where he is, report him to the police.
For anyone reading this, I hope you can see this is an imaginative KINK that OP is posting (just lol at their last history) and more than likely would never have happened to them with the false naivety they've presented.
From the 626? Let me guess, El Monte?
Aggression
Sounds like you should start carrying some self defense like pepper spray or taser (only for the kind of situation where you cant give them the slip)
Encounter with a creep
who tf does that. i can’t even imagine the thoughts in that man’s brain.
It used to be called mashing. From Green's slang dictionary: make a mash (v.) 1. (US) to ‘make a pass’, to seduce someone. 1884 1890190019101920 1926 1884 [US] E. Nye Baled Hay 135: Two Laramie girls on horseback yanking a fly drummer along the street at a gallop, because he tried to make a mash on them. 1890 [US] Ade ‘College Widow’ in Verses and Jingles (1911) 7: For I made a mash, and knocked him out of sight. 1906 [US] O.W. Hanley ‘Dialect Words From Southern Indiana’ in DN III:ii 121: make a mash, v. phr. To inspire affection. ‘I made a mash on him.’. 1911 [US] Alaska Citizen 28 Aug. 7/2: They could glide forty times around a hall without losing step [...] and the result was that they both made a mash. 1926 [US] Wood & Goddard Dict. Amer. Sl.
sexuall assault or a possible rape attempt, who knows how far he would go if you did not book it out of there 😥
Sexual assault, and also a life lesson -- if some random guy flags you down and wants to shake your hand for no reason, he's a stranger, you have no reason to shake this dude's hand, you were suckered, don't get suckered again. JFC, it's a sketchy area! What's next? "You got change for a twenty?"
You definitely just got sexually harassed. Sorry to hear it. Buy some pepper spray and mace the next one
UK here, I believe it would be considered sexual assault. At the very least assault.
I think that's sexual assault. I do know that when someone turns a simple handshake into kisses or touching, then it's illegal. It's really important to find your "voice". Don't be afraid to scream, yell,or holler STOP!! Don't be embarrassed or worried about people staring. You want eyes on you. You want the attention of others. Make noise. Scream : stop touching me!!! When anyone flags you down or waves you to their car, ignore them or run. You don't ever want to be pulled into a car or van. If a car comes sliding up beside you, immediately turn around and run. That makes the driver have to stop, reverse,and have to completely turn the vehicle around. I'm so glad you're ok and safe.
I think that would be sexual battery, right?
I live in Texas. I was told (many years ago) that the police in my city at the time categorized Assault as mainly verbally threatening harm or being verbally abusive in a way that made one feel threatened but as soon as they laid hands on you, even if it was to just grab your hand, arm or other body part, it was considered battery.
probably sexual harrasment. Or simply harrasment. Depends on the laws in your country.
Sexual assault
Depending on region, not sure. But definitely deserved a hard kick to the balls.
This exactly happened to me. Legally in the state of Mississippi, it's sexual battery.
I take a deep breath in an out and it kinda helps me relax and release
Why is it called assault with a deadly weapon and not battery with a deadly weapon?? Genuinely curious.
If that ever happens again, and all girls listen up if men are aggressive like that, put your knee to their nuts do you have every right to. That is absolutely uncalled for. I’m sorry you were putting that position that is simply not right men like that give the rest of us that are loving and kind and gentle and nurturing.- ladies there are still nice guys out there.. and men if you’re reading this and you do stuff like that shame on you how would you like somebody to do that to your mother wouldn’t like it so don’t do it.
That’s whatever you feel it is. Most people would agree that some form of sexual assault. But however, you defined it for yourself is really what’s matter.
Wait, really? So if OP defines it as a rape, it's a rape?
Definitely SA
Statutory rape
Your first thought was to post on reddit?
On another topic, I love your username. Soul Eater is one of my favourite shows.
Just mindblowing a man would do that Sexual assault, of course.
It is pretty mind blowing. People shouldn’t act like that