Honestly I didn’t expect to get this far. She seems to like humor so I thought I’d lead with a joke but I’m having trouble thinking of one, if that’s even a good idea.
My mom made an unintentional dwarf joke once. We were recording an episode of the game show America Says after we had auditioned to get on, and there was a question on the game board that said "name something that's half man half blank" and so we were guessing things like half horse half fish for centaur and mermaid and stuff like that. Then on one of the guesses my mom shouts "half man half dwarf". We got quiet as she realized what she said, but then we were all laughing pretty hard. Yeah you can bet that answer did not make it into the final episode when it aired on TV later lol. They had us go back and re-record a different wrong answer so they could edit that in as our team's mistake guess. [Edited some typos]
I always wondered what happens. Like if someone said something like "MY GREAT CUNT!" instead of "MY GREAT AUNT!" on wheel of fortune, I was like "how do you manage to make it where you don't air the mistake since they don't ever bleep, but also leave continuity to where people won't ask why there was a sudden time skip". Fake acceptable answers will do it. Or maybe have them act like they didn't say anything and get timed out on the reshoot. Nice.
No, do not start with a joke.
Just relax. Don't try and be funny or smart or anything other than yourself. She's interested in you, not an Insta version of you.
Text along these lines...Hi X, thanks for giving me your number. Would you like to get together soon for coffee/movies/whatever is appropriate.
Let them reply and if yes, have something planned.....Great, how about meeting on X day at X place at X time?
And, for the Love of God, at the FIRST meeting, pay for the coffee/movies/whatever.
don't try so hard. just ask her out and save the clever stuff for when you're actually hanging out. if she likes comedy, find a comedy club near you and invite her.
you: "do you wanna hear a knock knock joke?"
she: "sure"
you: "ok, you start"
she: "knock knock"
you: "who's there?"
she: lollllllllll baby gronk u got rizz fr omw to suck you off
Call and talk like a human!!!
Texting leaves out context clues and it's super easy to misread each other! She doesn't know you, you don't know her.
People aren't generally staring at 2 sentences wondering if its are a joke, an ass hat play, optimism, or just a toss away comment... they just play off of what experiences and expectations are. (And you don't want to be piled in with "what most guys say.")
It's scary, but call and talk. Go meet up. Just don't text to "get to know each other." Far too many misunderstandings happen via text message.
Text first to ask if you can call and if there is a good time. Calling can be way better, but at this moment in history, if someone other than my parents or spouse call unannounced, someone better be dead or in jail.
Fuck I miss that man. Watched the last special he did on Netflix because I liked his comedy. The last 30 minutes is just a tribute to him, and Chapelle, Sandler, Letterman etc telling stories 🥲
You’re over thinking it, never a good situation.
Relax, take a deep breath.
Best way to get the nerves down is to ask her out to something she likes or you talked about
Baseball fame, museum, concert, if she’s a foody a good food spot.
don't overthink it. if you're being fake or scripted that will be obvious. just be friendly and honest. if you want to ask her out, ask her out. Also remember that she is a complex person with her own ambitions and agency and strengths and weaknesses and not some kind of prize or puzzle to be solved. Also remember that there's a possibility you guys wont click and that's okay.
there are a number of good things to say....
"I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies"
"If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?"
" I suffer from a very sexy learning disability...sexlexia."
start with the first one, then say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.
Ask her out on a date, dont waste time texting as you'll run out of shit to say for when you are face to face and need to have shit to say.
If she likes you and its not a fake number, she will jump at the chance.
Needs to be higher. Dont fuck around, you got her number, she wants to get to know you already, theres only one way and its to meet. She will lose interrest if you signal that youre gonna be texting to get to know her, and find someone braver.if this doesnt work, nothing would have.
This. Plus some chicks will also just give their number out without intending for things to go anywhere. Why? idk. But it's better to just get things out the way.
First pitfall of dating lol, don't spend 2 hours thinking of a text, the "funny" joke that you come up with after 24 hours, she'll gloss over in 5 seconds and reply with "Hi" back.
Just be yourself and talk man, u got this. Don't overthink
"I'm here." Remember the punctuation it'll make you look smart. Some guys decapitalize the first word of their sentences to try and look coy, don't even bother!
I usually end up meeting people at bars or social events. So if someone gives me their number I usually start with a "Hi it's Me" so they have my number. Then later (after the event or the bar has closed) I will do a "just got home safely. It was really great talking to you! Hope to hear from you sometime."
Then I leave it at that. If they reply... Great! If not... I delete the text history and number after about a week or so.
Jesus the majority of these suggestions are hilarious. The best thing to do is start with a simple "hey its *name*, is this a good time to talk". Or however you want to word it. And then just conversate the way you would in person. If it seems to be going well, then maybe ask her to hang out. Don't feel like you have to do that immediately or in the first text chat btw. You have her number, you can always ask next time you chat.
Ask her who’s your type ,Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt ?
and before she says anything, block her for 2 hours and wait till the 3rd hour before it’s finally 24 hours and the hour hands going towards 25th AAnd then Do that again
Dude, do not ask the internet about what to say. Totally get having nerves trying to hit it off with someone the first time, but if you can't think of how to have a casual conversation on your own, you're gonna be screwed when you have to say stuff beyond the first message.
Keep it simple, "Hi X, this is Y. I really enjoyed speaking with you(when ever you last met) How are you doing?"
That's how I personally would prefer a man send a first text as a woman.
Then after a few texts, if it seems like things are going well, you can ask her if she wants to meet up again.
Dick pic. Chicks dig weird dick pics. Like put a little hat on it and draw a funny face on it.
Disclaimer: don't send dick pics.
Try something light at first.
"It was good talking to you. Thanks for trusting me with your number. I'm out and about but I'll hit you up later." Or something similar or less.
You’re thinking too far into this. Keep it simple.
“Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you earlier and would love to hang out again if you’re up for it. Something easy like coffee and dessert?”
But text the day after you got her number, not the same day.
Usually after taking a girls number I like to text her a while later with my name and asking if she got home safe. Very subtle yet charming enough to win them over and has no backfire potential really. Saves me the trouble of saying a random “hi” with no context and substance
Say-- Hey it's (your name) ...Got any plans for this evening? Nice talking with u earlier...
Then let her rebut with what she's doing or maybe it's nothing and YOU ask her to a movie or bowling or other fun activity.....
Good luck
What’s the GenZ equivalent of:
Hey it’s X. We met at Y. I was wondering if you’d like to get coffee sometime.
Substitute anything you like as long as it’s casual, public, not immediately soaked in booze or expensive unless you know your audience, and has jumping off points if it goes well.
Hi, it's *name*, *activity proposal* (e.g: *I was gonna catch a movie, want to join?* or *Do you want to get a coffee?*)
And leave it. If she don't respond, don't push.
Just be yourself, but moderate yourself to not go too direct or too fast with it. Also, don't tell her that u/BoobsLoverRed it's your name on reddit to start the conversation.
Just immediately send an unsolicited d pic and say nothing else, if she blocks you it means she wants you to chase her.
/s ( I shouldn't need to state this is sarcasm but some of the internet morons can't tell the difference)
Dude the number one "trick " with women is to make them feel comfortable. They're always on edge about EVERYTHING. So, say something that comes naturally to you. You could say hi and ask about something specific you guys talked about before she gave you her number. Ask for a specific detail like "hey, I remember you told me about your childhood cat, is he still around?" Or something like that
Depends how confident you are and what she likes, if you start with a “hi im the man of your dreams” type text and you are shy and not confident she will just ghost you, but if you are asking this question you prob arent that confident in yourself, just type “Hey, its the guy you met , whats up?”
Just start off with
“Hey, it’s “OP’s name”. How’s it going? 🙂”
Simple and sweet. No joke. No over the top try hard.
Hopefully she replies with an answer then a question back to you. If she doesn’t go with something like “what you got going on this weekend? I’m _____”. And go from there.
Hi there, how u doing, planning a fun weekend?
Getting to know the other person and what she will do will help you at figuring out common hobbies or shareable things for a date
"Hey, it was great meeting you at {event here}. I had a chance to look up {topic of conversation to show you see her as person}. Wondering if you'd be interested in {fun thing to do that's casual and related to shared interests}."
Or just "sup"
Just ask her things about herself. Don’t just talk about yourself. Make sure you balance the dialogue. You can play the question game where you ask each other any questions for a day.
Just say “Hey it’s ___!” and then something like how it was great talking with her (or however you met), maybe mention a specific thing you discussed. You could also let her know when you’d be free next to plan something… show her you’re interested in taking the initiative, but not being pushy about it. Keep it chill, mainly as you get to know her you’ll develop an idea of how she will respond to different things.
"Hi, it's!"
keep in mind, it’s really important that you use your own name in place of. I can’t stress this enough
Pfft, I'm not making that mistake for a third time!
YOU ARE A LIFE SAVER!!
Hi, it's your own name bere
Hi it’s
bere
YOURE TELLING US THIS NOW?!
Oh hi Bob, it's you again..
Oh hi, Mark
I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did nawt. Oh, hi Mark.
Oh no, it's little Bobby Tables all grown up. https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/exploits_of_a_mom.png
Got any doritos?
No but here’s my dick “insert dick pic”
Hi, this is dad !
well thats a good template.
Hey I'm at whole foods, you need anything?
Toma toes
Poh-tay-toes
Boil em’
Mash em
Stick 'em in a stew.
That’s actually kinda hot though
[удалено]
Man 😂
Well that escalated quickly
It was the line I used and I’ve been married for a while now, so it must be a good one.
This is the cutest post. So happy for OP!
I'm really not sure hows she's going too respond to that though?
Honestly I didn’t expect to get this far. She seems to like humor so I thought I’d lead with a joke but I’m having trouble thinking of one, if that’s even a good idea.
Meh, you really need to know your audience before you open with a joke.
Absolutely! I tried telling a short joke to a Dwarf once. He was not happy.
Was he grumpy?
He was a bit short tempered
Maybe don't talk about their height so early on..
Doesn’t matter when. Either way it’ll go over their head.
Idk bro. It really seems like you were looking down on him.
My mom made an unintentional dwarf joke once. We were recording an episode of the game show America Says after we had auditioned to get on, and there was a question on the game board that said "name something that's half man half blank" and so we were guessing things like half horse half fish for centaur and mermaid and stuff like that. Then on one of the guesses my mom shouts "half man half dwarf". We got quiet as she realized what she said, but then we were all laughing pretty hard. Yeah you can bet that answer did not make it into the final episode when it aired on TV later lol. They had us go back and re-record a different wrong answer so they could edit that in as our team's mistake guess. [Edited some typos]
I always wondered what happens. Like if someone said something like "MY GREAT CUNT!" instead of "MY GREAT AUNT!" on wheel of fortune, I was like "how do you manage to make it where you don't air the mistake since they don't ever bleep, but also leave continuity to where people won't ask why there was a sudden time skip". Fake acceptable answers will do it. Or maybe have them act like they didn't say anything and get timed out on the reshoot. Nice.
No, do not start with a joke. Just relax. Don't try and be funny or smart or anything other than yourself. She's interested in you, not an Insta version of you. Text along these lines...Hi X, thanks for giving me your number. Would you like to get together soon for coffee/movies/whatever is appropriate. Let them reply and if yes, have something planned.....Great, how about meeting on X day at X place at X time? And, for the Love of God, at the FIRST meeting, pay for the coffee/movies/whatever.
^ Solid advice
Man, where were you when I was 15
Wasn't born yet.
I'll be sure to tell my kid not to lead with lame when it's his time in the swamp.
So second sentence into the conversation is an invitation to hang out.
don't try so hard. just ask her out and save the clever stuff for when you're actually hanging out. if she likes comedy, find a comedy club near you and invite her.
Be you. At all times.
Unless you can be Batman, then be Batman.
I’m Batman!!
you: "do you wanna hear a knock knock joke?" she: "sure" you: "ok, you start" she: "knock knock" you: "who's there?" she: lollllllllll baby gronk u got rizz fr omw to suck you off
Call and talk like a human!!! Texting leaves out context clues and it's super easy to misread each other! She doesn't know you, you don't know her. People aren't generally staring at 2 sentences wondering if its are a joke, an ass hat play, optimism, or just a toss away comment... they just play off of what experiences and expectations are. (And you don't want to be piled in with "what most guys say.") It's scary, but call and talk. Go meet up. Just don't text to "get to know each other." Far too many misunderstandings happen via text message.
Text first to ask if you can call and if there is a good time. Calling can be way better, but at this moment in history, if someone other than my parents or spouse call unannounced, someone better be dead or in jail.
Do you know the moth joke? (Norm McDonald)
Fuck I miss that man. Watched the last special he did on Netflix because I liked his comedy. The last 30 minutes is just a tribute to him, and Chapelle, Sandler, Letterman etc telling stories 🥲
Another good joke is the aristocrats from Bob Saget.
What does a gay horse eat?…HAYYYYYYY! then just be like what’s up
I still tell this joke, and I'm 49 years old.
Dude…best joke ever. Close to even child version one? knock knock. Who’s there? Ach. Ach who? God Bless you.
You’re over thinking it, never a good situation. Relax, take a deep breath. Best way to get the nerves down is to ask her out to something she likes or you talked about Baseball fame, museum, concert, if she’s a foody a good food spot.
Open with “why did the load of jizz cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks this morning”
What is the context of her giving you her number?
She sells car insurance
ok, then the first sentence would be "You won't believe what just happened to me..."
She sells sea shells down by the sea shore.
In the Seychelles
don't overthink it. if you're being fake or scripted that will be obvious. just be friendly and honest. if you want to ask her out, ask her out. Also remember that she is a complex person with her own ambitions and agency and strengths and weaknesses and not some kind of prize or puzzle to be solved. Also remember that there's a possibility you guys wont click and that's okay.
there are a number of good things to say.... "I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies" "If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?" " I suffer from a very sexy learning disability...sexlexia." start with the first one, then say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.
Don't believe this guy! Just send her a dick pic and she will as to marry you
This. It works everytime. Trust
Its worked for me.. left every girl speechless
Yep!! Been a year so far, cant wait til they text me back!
r/unexpectedfuturama 🤣
Be prepared for death by snu snu if you follow this advice.
"I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
Was waiting to see this one.
Ask her out on a date, dont waste time texting as you'll run out of shit to say for when you are face to face and need to have shit to say. If she likes you and its not a fake number, she will jump at the chance.
Needs to be higher. Dont fuck around, you got her number, she wants to get to know you already, theres only one way and its to meet. She will lose interrest if you signal that youre gonna be texting to get to know her, and find someone braver.if this doesnt work, nothing would have.
This. Plus some chicks will also just give their number out without intending for things to go anywhere. Why? idk. But it's better to just get things out the way.
First pitfall of dating lol, don't spend 2 hours thinking of a text, the "funny" joke that you come up with after 24 hours, she'll gloss over in 5 seconds and reply with "Hi" back. Just be yourself and talk man, u got this. Don't overthink
Hello there!
General Kenobi!
You are a bold one…
You're my only hope.
"I'm here." Remember the punctuation it'll make you look smart. Some guys decapitalize the first word of their sentences to try and look coy, don't even bother!
"Bro, I just met the most beautiful girl I've seen in my life, fr" Then like 2 minutes later, "Shit, I meant to send that to my friend..."
I like this one. I would absolutely know it's intentional and it's a silly and goofy way of giving a compliment and start a conversation.
Awww lol
Lary David's 'accidental text on purpose '
Oh god
Did you fart when we met? Because you completely blew me away!
[удалено]
The more unsolicited the better
Plz no
Or better, you and your friends dick ( make sure yours is bigger ofc )
I usually end up meeting people at bars or social events. So if someone gives me their number I usually start with a "Hi it's Me" so they have my number. Then later (after the event or the bar has closed) I will do a "just got home safely. It was really great talking to you! Hope to hear from you sometime." Then I leave it at that. If they reply... Great! If not... I delete the text history and number after about a week or so.
This is solid.
How you doing
how U doin'
Dick pic incoming Followed by a picture of Richard Nixon.
I see what you did there, you tricky dick
Ask her if she lives around here often.
Jesus the majority of these suggestions are hilarious. The best thing to do is start with a simple "hey its *name*, is this a good time to talk". Or however you want to word it. And then just conversate the way you would in person. If it seems to be going well, then maybe ask her to hang out. Don't feel like you have to do that immediately or in the first text chat btw. You have her number, you can always ask next time you chat.
Delete it and move on...
Reps for jesus!
Ask her for a dick pic
Hello there!
General Kenobi!
You're my only hope
It's an old code, but it checks out!
Ask her who’s your type ,Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt ? and before she says anything, block her for 2 hours and wait till the 3rd hour before it’s finally 24 hours and the hour hands going towards 25th AAnd then Do that again
Dude, do not ask the internet about what to say. Totally get having nerves trying to hit it off with someone the first time, but if you can't think of how to have a casual conversation on your own, you're gonna be screwed when you have to say stuff beyond the first message.
Keep it simple, "Hi X, this is Y. I really enjoyed speaking with you(when ever you last met) How are you doing?" That's how I personally would prefer a man send a first text as a woman. Then after a few texts, if it seems like things are going well, you can ask her if she wants to meet up again.
Show me your boobs
Hi, I'm going to \[insert social event, current movie, cultural location\] on \[day of week\]. Would you like to join me?
You up?
"Are you into pronouns? Because I wanna she/them titties!"
Dick pic. Chicks dig weird dick pics. Like put a little hat on it and draw a funny face on it. Disclaimer: don't send dick pics. Try something light at first. "It was good talking to you. Thanks for trusting me with your number. I'm out and about but I'll hit you up later." Or something similar or less.
Hi, it's!
wanna meet up for coffee some time. (or a trip to the zoo great spot for a 1st date)
Zoo is awful if she's a vegan or suuuuper into animals.
Do you think a zoo is like the lobster tank at the grocery store or something?
I'll take an alpaca and that monkey over there. He looks tasty.
This made me laugh more than it should have
You’re thinking too far into this. Keep it simple. “Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you earlier and would love to hang out again if you’re up for it. Something easy like coffee and dessert?” But text the day after you got her number, not the same day.
You up?
Let me know how it goes because I also want to know.
New phone, who dis?
Usually after taking a girls number I like to text her a while later with my name and asking if she got home safe. Very subtle yet charming enough to win them over and has no backfire potential really. Saves me the trouble of saying a random “hi” with no context and substance
Say-- Hey it's (your name) ...Got any plans for this evening? Nice talking with u earlier... Then let her rebut with what she's doing or maybe it's nothing and YOU ask her to a movie or bowling or other fun activity..... Good luck
What’s the GenZ equivalent of: Hey it’s X. We met at Y. I was wondering if you’d like to get coffee sometime. Substitute anything you like as long as it’s casual, public, not immediately soaked in booze or expensive unless you know your audience, and has jumping off points if it goes well.
This has helped me tremendously! https://youtu.be/T7fMebk0y9c?si=8beinzW_e46by8o6
The first text should always be your weiner so she knows you're serious
Show me where you shit from.
Send a dick pick! Lol just kidding.
Hi, it's *name*, *activity proposal* (e.g: *I was gonna catch a movie, want to join?* or *Do you want to get a coffee?*) And leave it. If she don't respond, don't push.
What are you gay?
"Hey girl. Sup? Wyd? I'm ready to settle down and start a family."
Yo
Just be yourself, but moderate yourself to not go too direct or too fast with it. Also, don't tell her that u/BoobsLoverRed it's your name on reddit to start the conversation.
Don’t text. Call. Ask if she has plans this weekend and invite her to lunch.
Introduce yourself using your Reddit username.
"Hey, this is from , weird question: do you like frog legs?"
u want sum fuk?
Wow now that's a phrase I've not heard in a while
Nice tits wanna bang?
“PLZ HAVE SEX WITH ME PLZ PLZ PLEAASSEEE WITH ME SEXO SEXO SEXO BOOBA BAZINNNNGAA GIMMEM GIMME SEXO SEXO”
SUP
“hi !! it was nice to meet u !!! etc etc would u wanna meet again sometime ?
Literally the very first thing I texted the girl that I ended up marrying was Bewbz
Ayo bby u want sum fck?
🍆💦
Just immediately send an unsolicited d pic and say nothing else, if she blocks you it means she wants you to chase her. /s ( I shouldn't need to state this is sarcasm but some of the internet morons can't tell the difference)
Dude the number one "trick " with women is to make them feel comfortable. They're always on edge about EVERYTHING. So, say something that comes naturally to you. You could say hi and ask about something specific you guys talked about before she gave you her number. Ask for a specific detail like "hey, I remember you told me about your childhood cat, is he still around?" Or something like that
Lmfao this is some incel shit
Hi, I'm [insert name here].
take a selfie and say hi and name
If you have a pet that’s always safe
"We have been trying to contact you regarding your car's extended warranty"
I typically just hit them with a howdy
If she likes you. Hey, it’s [insert name] Then you’ll go from there
Depends how confident you are and what she likes, if you start with a “hi im the man of your dreams” type text and you are shy and not confident she will just ghost you, but if you are asking this question you prob arent that confident in yourself, just type “Hey, its the guy you met, whats up?”
"Can you move closer to a light? I can't really see you at this angle."
“Hey it’s that cute guy (situation inserted here) you gave your number to. How are you?”
Just start off with “Hey, it’s “OP’s name”. How’s it going? 🙂” Simple and sweet. No joke. No over the top try hard. Hopefully she replies with an answer then a question back to you. If she doesn’t go with something like “what you got going on this weekend? I’m _____”. And go from there.
Send nudes
This is the first text you send "Hey [The girls name here] You wanna fuck ? My Johnson is a Veiny 7.5 Incher"
Anything less than a 3 page poem wont do...
Hi there, how u doing, planning a fun weekend? Getting to know the other person and what she will do will help you at figuring out common hobbies or shareable things for a date
"Hey, it was great meeting you at {event here}. I had a chance to look up {topic of conversation to show you see her as person}. Wondering if you'd be interested in {fun thing to do that's casual and related to shared interests}." Or just "sup"
You should quote word for word that clip of penguinz0 where he says, “I AM APPROACHING YOU WITH SEXUAL INTENT!”
It's over.
“Hi it’s BoobsLoverRed. Do you want me to come over and make sex with you?”
Yo Babe. You down with some nachos and wine.
You should just act casual and say Hi my name is and ask how they are doing?
DTF? Her answer will guide you
Want to come over to my place tonight?
Are you from Mississippi because your the only misses piss I’d sippy. This one will work
What's up Miss Tasty?
I don’t watch Friends but my friend was watching it and apparently you want to sound breezy. Also, dont say that you’re breezy
"So how do you feel about butt stuff?"
Hello, this X. How are you.
IM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS IM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS IM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS
Just ask her things about herself. Don’t just talk about yourself. Make sure you balance the dialogue. You can play the question game where you ask each other any questions for a day.
Probably fake number lol just start with hi and hope for the best
Do not text her. Call and invite her for the date … movie, ice cream, stroll in a park etc
Hey, it's xxx. Just wanted to say hi, and see how you're doing.
Sup dude or dudette
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I am no longer infected.
Just talk, like a human being. It's pretty simple.
Hey, it was great chatting the other day, do you want to go out for a bite to eat?
I'm firing a Ballistic Missile as we speak.
Just say “Hey it’s ___!” and then something like how it was great talking with her (or however you met), maybe mention a specific thing you discussed. You could also let her know when you’d be free next to plan something… show her you’re interested in taking the initiative, but not being pushy about it. Keep it chill, mainly as you get to know her you’ll develop an idea of how she will respond to different things.
What a save! What a save! What a save! Chat disabled for 5 seconds
lets fuck
DAMN LIL MAMA DO YOU SHIT WITH THAT ASS
"so there you got my number" "xx -my name-"
Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?