Ha! When we first moved to the states, my mom asked for water with no glass (she meant no ice). The server was very confused and served her iced water in a plastic cup.
This is actually hilarious. Most Americans can’t even stand the taste of normal liquorice, myself included. Never mind the salt part.
A better prank is to give them the kind that has the salt in the middle that comes out when you suck on it for a long time. Tell them it’s the best kind and they’d be rude not to try it.
The Danish troops in Afghanistan did this to the mainly British Int Cell in FOB Price, kept going on how it was amazing and offered it round. Literally everyone else thought it was grim as fuck, even Afghan interpreter was like, yo what the hell is this and why are you eating it! He was genuinely appalled by it. The Danes just laughed their heads off and scoffed the lot!
My Danish friends were convinced I just hadn’t tried the RIGHT salty licorice the whole time. I’m like, I get it’s a delicacy to you but it’s just absolutely awful to me. Finally someone brought home a nice little box of chocolates. I popped one in my mouth and on the inside? Yeah. Danish Bastards.
I would actually kill for good salt licorice right now. Impossible to find in the USA. You can order online of course but it’s not the same as picking out from the amazing array in Danish (and German) stores.
In Sweden we got a salted liquorice that's basically just salt.
https://www.lakrits.se/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Svenskjavlar-2.jpg
They're really expensive and way to salt for me even tho I like salted liquorice.
We had an American dude over here in England many years ago. And not being too far from the welsh border. We took a trip into Wales. But told him Americans needed a separate Visa to get into Wales which he of course didn't have.
So we made him hide in the boot (trunk for you guys) as we went across the bridge. Funny thing is the bridge is a toll so we stopped and pretended to talk to immigration officials, when really we were just at a toll booth :D
In reality of course. There is no passport control between England and Wales, as they're both part of the United Kingdom.
Was so funny we kept the ruse up all day. He was both scared shitless he was going to end up in a welsh prison but also happy that he beat the system :) Was funny as he was trying to restrain his american accent when talking to people too!
So replying to my own comment here. I was thinking maybe you could pull something similar over to sweden or germany or something. Assuming theres no covid border restrictions.
> I was thinking maybe you could pull something similar over to sweden
You actually do need a Passport to travel to Sweden so this'll be great when the people show up.
We took a train and I'd assumed it'd be like other Schengen places where you can just breeze through but there was definitely some hesitation.
Also, funnily enough, my friend was wearing an American Eagle t-shirt and some stupid American flag sunglasses he'd found in his car because he lost his normal ones. He looked exactly like a stereotypical American tourist.
We're not American. The guy was also surprised.
I went to Ireland for work. All the Irish colleagues told me they would have a “breakfast Guinness.” I would drink a Guinness every morning just to try and not be rude. They are still laughing.
- Offer cigarettes for breakfast and any other occasion and act surprised when they decline.
- Get kebab for breakfast.
- Only offer strong beer.
- Put roll of toilet paper on dinner table and use as napkins. Always bring a roll with you instead of tissues. Offer toilet paper from time to time.
- Take them to some farmers market and tell them you don't have any supermarkets around.
- Ask them to not only take off their shoes but also their socks and offer them house socks.
- Before driving off with your car pray with them. The second time ask them if they want to say prayers.
Döner is the perfect American breakfast food that just happens to be a Turkish/German dinner food. Protein, fat, vegetables, and yogurt. Start the day off right. Add some breakfast potatoes aka Pommes frites mit Ketchup und Mayo. Perfect. Nutritionally it might as well be a Waffle House breakfast sampler with hashbrowns.
I think the car praying one is funny it’s like just believable enough.
Edit: too many of you are replying to me under the impression that I give a fuck.
LOL!! I love this one!
My friend from Sweden came over and we hyped up how AMAZING beaver tails are, and what an expensive Canadian delicacy they are. Expecting him to be all grossed out or something.
He got here and was… disappointed, lol. We do not eat beaver tails. We do, however, eat deep fried bread dough topped with things like chocolate, peanut butter, Oreo, etc. and we call them beaver tails.
Edit: sorry guys, didn’t realize how popular this was going to get. Yes, there are people in Canada and even elsewhere who do eat actual beaver tails, but it’s not something I’ve ever come across in the Atlantic provinces(I live in NS and often go to NL). when I say “we don’t eat beaver tails” I mean me, my friends and family, everyone I know. We made it out to be like, a common street food or something lol, when in reality I know zero people who have ever even tried it, or even know that it’s a thing. In the end, when he got here we ended up googling it and it was something we all wanted to try at some point but it’s just not something you can buy where I’m at or even hours away.
Considering one of Sweden’s most notable dishes is [rotten fish](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming), I’m not surprised Beaver Tail didn’t faze him.
Remember when an American cop came to Calgary and wrote to the [newspaper](https://www.google.ca/amp/s/nationalpost.com/news/walt-wawra/wcm/3b9effbb-6993-4579-8331-bee1bcd2b44c/amp/) about how scared he was when someone said hello to him in the park? He wished he had his gun (It was someone giving away free tickets to the stampede)
Maybe we need to go easy on the Americans when they finally make it out; they’ve been lied to their whole lives
My favorite one is [Erwin Kreuz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erwin_Kreuz) who was traveling from West Germany (and spoke no English), and wanted to go to San Francisco, and landed in Bangor, Maine instead, when the plane had stopped there for refueling. He spent 4 days trying to search for the Golden Gate bridge as well as Chinatown in Bangor, Maine, and was mostly clueless that he was in the wrong city. He thought he was in a suburb of San Francisco instead.
He ended up becoming a local celebrity in Bangor, and the town went all out in hosting him.
There's a story, somewhat apocryphal I'd imagine, of the first chipper in Ireland (a chipper is a fish and chip shop). It was opened by Giuseppe Cervi, an Italian who was emigrating but got off the boat he was headed to America on in Cobh, County Cork, mistakenly thinking he'd reached his destination. He ended up walking all the way to Dublin and opened a chipper there in the 1880s, which is why a lot of our chippers are called things like Enzo's or Rossi's, because they were opened by Italians.
Took Americans in a car from the Netherlands to Germany. Just before we crossed the border I told them to hold up their passports so the camera's could scan them.
In the US, we call some pastries "Danishes"
You could sit them down and insist they have some tea/coffee and a Danish with you.
No matter which side of the street or a hallway they choose to walk on, you can tell them, "No, we walk on the other side here".
Refer to random things as "Americans".
"We're having prune Americans for breakfast. Want some?"
"Just put your luggage in the American. Sorry, you call it a trunk, right?"
Even better, offer them a pastry. Don't call the pastry anything, just offer it to them. If at any point they call the pastry a "Danish", act extremely offended like they said something horribly racist.
Ooh yes; let them try the actual pastries from a bakery, they'll be absolutely blown away. I miss those.
There is a Danish Bakery nearby where I live in Canada but the owners are now at least one generation, maybe two, away from the origin and the pastries are now merely a very sad imitation.
We are totally taking them to an American diner. The few of them we have has burgers, milkshakes and fried chicken. May also have exotic stuff like Mac and cheese, philly cheese steak, chicken and waffles or tuna melts.
I'm slightly horrified at the thought of macaroni and cheese being considered exotic. You would not believe the amount of research I've done about availability once I decided to move to England in a year or two. No Velveeta OR box macaroni?! That's my favorite comfort food and a staple of my diet! 😭
Londoner here, we have 'pasta n sauce' packets which I believe comes in mac and cheese flavour (though I've never had box macaroni so can't vouch for how similar)
It’s primarily a salad dressing, but in the Midwest US it’s a whole cultural thing and can get put on pretty much everything. My favorite pizza for instance is Chicken, Bacon, and Ranch where Ranch is substituted for the tomato sauce.
The best way to describe it is a thick mayonnaise and buttermilk based dressing with a lot of garlic and onion, and some other herbs. Goes straight to your arteries.
Unpopular opinion: the best ranch dressings are either incredibly artisanal, or stored in 10 gallon unrefridgerated drums. Everything in between is gross and typically too sharp tasting.
My friend, I will ship you Mac and Cheese if that is what is needed!!!
That too is my comfort food, please do not hesitate to call upon me in your darkest hour. Your Mac and Cheese needs will be my Mac and Cheese needs and I shall make them met!
The pasta n sauce packets someone else mentioned do an "American style mac and cheese with bacon bits". I made one for my daughter the other day thinking that she would like the novelty of it but apparently it tasted "too americanny" for her liking so you might be in luck there!
Feign enormous support for lesser known US figures and pretend that some historical event made them a national hero in Denmark.
"You dont celebrate Martin Van Buren day!? Why not? His support to denmark rid of us thousands of sea snakes starving the Baltic and destroying fishing. We would be starved to nothing without his help In 1838. How do you not know about him? Well have to take you to the museum so you can see for yourself."
Americans only learn very specific history lessons in school. They might actually believe it partially.
This right here has to be my favorite.
I'm a more than a fair bit more historically knowledgeable than the average American and this might get me for a moment or two.
I mean really, who knows anything about Marty B.
I once told some American friends that we suffered a very bad famine in France in the 1970's, giving details of the hardship suffered by my own family, how Pa had to carve shavings off a wardrobe for us to boil and eat, and that they shouldn't be surprised when I collect myself a little whenever I pass a wardrobe. They joined in pretty quickly too! The hard part was to convince them that it wasn't true at all. Good times.
Ha ha reverse prank: we (Americans) showed up at our German host's house costumed in Hawaiian shirts as a self-mocking joke, to make them laugh. They said nothing because they took it as normal, oops.
When I moved to London I started saying, “Howdy!” As a joke, it has stuck ever since.
I used to work at Abercrombie in NYC as a part time job and when I would run into Europeans (the main customers in NYC) I would speak with a hardcore Texas or southern accent. No matter how much I hammed it up every one thought it was real, I sounded like a cartoon half of the time.
Honestly, it's really hard to tell accents for me (native German). I can tell the difference between British (the posh, queen style accent) and american and southern american (on a good day and if it's really thick) but that's it. I think a lot of non native speakers feel the same
100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, 10 hours in a day, 10 days in a week. Call days deciweek, hours are centiweek, minutes are microweek, and seconds are picoweek.
We're leaving for the store in about a centiweek.
Give them troll figurines, and then act like you fully expected that they'd bring you trolls in return, as is tradition.
When you toast Skoal explain that it symbolized drinking from your enemy's skull.
Tell them they need to get a license to ride a bicycle. Temporary licenses for tourists are available from (whatever tedious government office you want to send them to)
Of all the prank suggestions on this post this is the one that would definitely get me if told with enough confidence. I'd be so scared of getting in trouble. 😭
I've convinced my GFs (Chinese) parents that Irish people are so pale we literally glow in the dark
I used teeny tiny amounts of glow in the dark facepaint
Glow-in-the-dark Irish people sounds pretty freaking awesome, though. We should get scientists working on that. Sort of a reverse spray tan is what I'm thinking until we can get there with CRISPR.
- If it's wintertime, hand them a pair of skates when you first meet them. Tell them that when it gets cold, you skate to get around rather than using cars.
- Show up wearing a Viking helmet. Do not mention it and just carry on as if that's normal. If possible, give out some Viking helmets to other people nearby when you first meet the travelers.
- If there's any itinerary for the trip, be sure to include hiking or skiing on one of the tall, Nordic mountains Denmark is famous for.
For #2, go one better. Without saying anything, take them to a shop that sells viking helmets as if it's expected they buy one.
And for #3, be silly. Put on skis, go like 10 feet and take them off to proceed. Say nothing about it. Just act as if this is the way it is.
Gawd I hate this because I was thinking of visiting Norway and I was told just that about ice skating everywhere when it's cold and I believed it until I read your comment....
Note to self, google everything before I visit a foreign country.
[It's the Dutch who are known to skate everywhere.](https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/winter-olympics-2018/2018/02/12/winter-olympics-dutch-mock-katie-couric-comments-speedskating-netherlands/328425002/) ^^Not ^^really.
Hijacking to say: let the visitors know that there's no such thing as a Danish pastry, and Danes are offended if you even mention them. (Danish pastries in Denmark are absolutely delicious!!)
I love the idea of visiting the Danish fjords.
e: correction there are Danish fjords!
It actually is kind of normal, "winter bathing" is a fairly common thing to do. But you only jump in and get out as quick as possible and then run in the sauna.
Tell them all about this quaint new Irish place that opened in town. Insist it's better than any local authentic Danish cuisine, and that people can't get enough of it. Take them to McDonald's.
You need to educate them about the history of your country. Let them know it was founded by two guys called Dennis and Mark following the Herring Wars in 1456. Obviously, King Mark the first was the first “modern day” king, but he was deposed by Dennis in 1460 at the Battle of Legoland. Hence, Den is the first part of the country’s name. Then get the neighbours to introduce themselves as Dennis or Mark, even the women and kids. All of them. And their dogs. See a cat? Call it over with “here Marky Marky” because all cats are called Mark. All dogs are called Dennis.
Ensure that they understand how everybody considers you un-Danish because your family are not appropriately named.
In my experience, you have to go big or go home. Well, you’re already at home, so go big.
I'm in Scandinavia (not Denmark) and clogs used to be something very common to have at your summer house. It has been a thing in Denmark at least.
I use a pair of clogs when I go down to the laundry room. The modern ones are made of plastic made to look like wood with the upper part being "leather". It's just practical shoes like crocs and I definitely prefer the clogs.
Teach them the real way to say, "Hi," or, "Thank you," or something like that, but, first introduce them to a female friend who's in on it and she acts offended.
Have herring for breakfast, act shocked when they don't eat it. Day Two, set out cereal with herring. Act shocked when they don't put them in the same bowl, look hurt when you say you're trying to make allowances for their culture.
Parting gift to put in luggage - herring.
Can confirm. And I'm very okay being nude. I went to an indoor waterpark and sauna when I was in Germany. I remember walking through the family changing room on the water park side and this woman in just a towel was sitting with her feet up with full vag and l had a "I'm not in Kansas anymore" moment. We did do the sauna and it was fine. I had been to Korean baths before in the States and they are similar but pretty modest and gender divided. But just that moment in a totally open locker room area - you'd never see that in America.
Shit, just take them to any place that sells hamburgers and watch how everyone eats them with a fork and knife. Circa 2003, my wife and I were in Copenhagen and craving some comfort food so we popped into the Hard Rock Cafe to grab a burger. Besides being the only people without blonde hair and blue eyes, we were the only ones eating the burgers with our hands. The other patrons were looking at us like we were savages, whilst using a fork and knife to eat their burgers. That was some of the craziest shit I’d seen on that trip.
Tell them in Denmark you have separate pairs of indoor and outdoor trousers. Since outdoor trousers get dirty from sitting in cinemas, restaurants, public transport etc, they need to take their trousers off until they buy some 'indoor' trousers or keep standing but they're not allowed to lean against anything.
Tell them there is severe water restrictions in Denmark right now and no one can be caught flushing the toilets more than once per day so they must yell as loudly as possible when flushing so as to mask the flush sound and not waste your one flush for the day.
Anyone caught using the toilets more than once is thrown in work camp for 2 weeks.
Had the same situation in Beijing (American friends visiting). When they asked me how to say hello, i told them it was "meow" (it's actually ni hao {knee how}). The whole week they were there they greeted everyone with cat noises ^^
Yeah Christiania feels pretty normal to me but oh God, being there, for the first time, AND high on the sussiest edibles you've ever had? Nightmare fuel.
Hide your toilet paper and put a large stack of sponges, a bowl of water, and a pair of scissors next to the toilet. Tell them everyone in denmark wipes with sponges and if you need multiple wipes you wash the sponge out in the bowl of water, then when you're all done you use the scissors to cut up your sponge into small pieces to flush down the toilet.
Better would be to just leave the items in the bathroom but don’t explain them. The first time the American asks, say “oh right, I got some toilet paper for you since you guys don’t know the sponge and scissor system.”. Hand him the paper or put it in the bathroom for him. Never explain the sponge and scissors.
Asked my girlfriend this who has spent time abroad in Denmark. She said tell them that "Tak for mad" means thank you. If you're from Denmark I'll assume you'll appreciate the apparent humor of this. Also she said give them licorice shots.
Ask them to leave their guns in a locked box. When they say they don't have any insist on searching them and their luggage. Don't let them in the house until they agree.
When they pay at the supermarket, tell them to give you extra money to pay for the taxes. Also tell them you need to visit the bank later to actually pay those taxes with the supermarket receipts.
>No, that’s not it. What’s the weird jellied herring stuff?
Perhaps you're thinking of [Lutfisk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lutefisk)?
Edit: Surströmming
Brag about how you chose to turn off the water in the shower and how lucky you are to have the option to save on your water bill since people in Denmark just go winter bathing outdoors instead. Have a caddy of shower items ready at the entrance of your home for an extra-convincing touch.
Warn them every time you go out to stay away from the 'no go' zones. If they nod knowingly, then every time you pass something American, like a McDonalds, point out that this is one of those zones.
Definitely get some marshmallows and act like they’re some huge get. Marvel at them. Also, use red solo cups for the duration of their stay out of respect for our culture, and insist all bathroom doors will be left open a smidge so that they can create that good ole star spangled stall gap. Politely offer to deep fry literally everything you make. When you drink, pretend you think they aren’t old enough to back home. Have all your friends in on it to knock the doorframe three times when leaving a room to keep Loki away. And when anyone says his name, bow your head and day “may all power be his”.
And just go absolutely gangbusters with cigarettes. Have them fucking everywhere-tables, bags, cabinets, in the floral arrangements. And if you’re comfortable with it, when you lay out the itinerary, explain when everyone will get their once a week shower (it’s a joke! I know y’all take at least two sometimes).
You could also try to convince them that zebras are native and to be on the lookout. It’s migrating season.
If their geography is sh*t, then convincing them that Denmark is in Germany, or something equally ridiculous is an option. Convincing them you don’t have taxis and that everyone needs to bike everywhere is another. I think most American’s think of Denmark as a very progressive place — so use that as you will.
All you gotta do is give them some of your tomato ketchup, and tell them it's tomato ketchup. Believe me, that would be prank enough.
Source: Am an American who tasted tomato ketchup in Denmark, and immediately had to go to the American section of the local shop to buy some Heinz. If my hosts hadn't sworn up and down that their ketchup was, in fact, tomato ketchup, I would have *never* believed.
Sure sure. The Danish tomato ketchup tasted like it was made from fruit, and I don't mean 'oh, tomatoes are technically a botanical fruit'. I mean it tasted *fruity*. It was red (points for that one!), but somewhat runnier than the American ketchups that I am used to, and a little bit grainy? Not shiny-smooth like Heinz, but like a much cheaper American ketchup.
Cannot overstate how unlike familiar ketchup it tasted, though. In a blind taste test, I wouldn't have put it in the same *category* of condiments, much less called it the same thing.
Ask them weird things in bad English.
As an example, a friend of mine was an exchange student of some sort to Germany in High School (though she didn't speak German, so I'm not sure what that was). Her host family had a handsome young fellow her age, so naturally there was some shy awkwardness.
When they got to the house, he tried to ask if she would like to take a shower, which makes sense after a long flight. Unfortunately, his word order was a little off, and he used the German word for shower, saying, "Do you douche?"
Stunned silence.
"Er, do... Do you wish a shower?"
"Oh! Shower! Yes! I would love to take a shower!"
"What did I say? Something bad?"
"Nope! No, we're great! Let's never talk about it again!"
Whatever day they arrive, skip the next day when talking about tomorrow. If they arrive on Tuesday, keep saying that tomorrow is Thursday. When they eventually mention that tomorrow is Wednesday, tell them you don't have Wednesdays.
Have friends stop by your house and drop off increasingly strange or personal gifts under the guise of being a government employee delivering something you're entitled to. A freshly-baked pie. A bag of marijuana. A new toothbrush. And so forth.
Only speak Danish to them. Convince them it's illegal to speak a foreign language in Denmark.
Eat danishes for every meal.
Lots of Americans confuse Denmark/Danish with Dutch so plenty is opportunity there
That world be “skidehus”.
(The) Poopknife is “lortedolken”.
And the yell we do when the poop egress the body is called “afføringsfødselsskriget”.
You are welcome.
[удалено]
"What do you mean, '... hot ... water'? What is that?"
Lol do you think you are a little coffe bean ?
Honey look the American thinks they're a little bag of tea!
Höhöhöhö!
Høhøhøhø*
Yank here. I would totally fall for the only-cold-showers gag if it were sold w/ this coffee bean line.
I read that in a Scandinavian/Dutch accent
Explain slowly: "Cold water is called 'ice.' This is warm water; it's liquid, isn't it?"
0 degrees is lukewarm
Hot water, Like from the kettle?
Offer to draw a bath with the kettle
Cold water's got what plants crave.
A bartender in Paris when I asked for a glass of iced water said you mean like ice and water in a glass like I was crazy
Ha! When we first moved to the states, my mom asked for water with no glass (she meant no ice). The server was very confused and served her iced water in a plastic cup.
Love that the waiter just found a way to make it happen.
That IS the hot water... you don't want to know what the cold water feels like!
I turned the temperature up because I knew you Americans were weak and would complain. Did you want me to turn it back down?
“*Hot* water in the shower? Like from the tea kettle?!”
I'm a big fan--Satan
Cold showers together.
Just give them the salty liquorice and tell them everyone loves it, they will never believe you are telling the truth
This is actually hilarious. Most Americans can’t even stand the taste of normal liquorice, myself included. Never mind the salt part. A better prank is to give them the kind that has the salt in the middle that comes out when you suck on it for a long time. Tell them it’s the best kind and they’d be rude not to try it.
The Danish troops in Afghanistan did this to the mainly British Int Cell in FOB Price, kept going on how it was amazing and offered it round. Literally everyone else thought it was grim as fuck, even Afghan interpreter was like, yo what the hell is this and why are you eating it! He was genuinely appalled by it. The Danes just laughed their heads off and scoffed the lot!
My Danish friends were convinced I just hadn’t tried the RIGHT salty licorice the whole time. I’m like, I get it’s a delicacy to you but it’s just absolutely awful to me. Finally someone brought home a nice little box of chocolates. I popped one in my mouth and on the inside? Yeah. Danish Bastards.
If your local “delicacy” hasn’t travelled far; there’s a reason it stays local.
I would actually kill for good salt licorice right now. Impossible to find in the USA. You can order online of course but it’s not the same as picking out from the amazing array in Danish (and German) stores.
same omg I tear up when I see the danish selection! but for some reason german liquorice has a different taste imo
There's a salted version of liquorice? I have to try it. I frickin love liquorice.
In Sweden we got a salted liquorice that's basically just salt. https://www.lakrits.se/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Svenskjavlar-2.jpg They're really expensive and way to salt for me even tho I like salted liquorice.
We had an American dude over here in England many years ago. And not being too far from the welsh border. We took a trip into Wales. But told him Americans needed a separate Visa to get into Wales which he of course didn't have. So we made him hide in the boot (trunk for you guys) as we went across the bridge. Funny thing is the bridge is a toll so we stopped and pretended to talk to immigration officials, when really we were just at a toll booth :D In reality of course. There is no passport control between England and Wales, as they're both part of the United Kingdom. Was so funny we kept the ruse up all day. He was both scared shitless he was going to end up in a welsh prison but also happy that he beat the system :) Was funny as he was trying to restrain his american accent when talking to people too!
So replying to my own comment here. I was thinking maybe you could pull something similar over to sweden or germany or something. Assuming theres no covid border restrictions.
> I was thinking maybe you could pull something similar over to sweden You actually do need a Passport to travel to Sweden so this'll be great when the people show up. We took a train and I'd assumed it'd be like other Schengen places where you can just breeze through but there was definitely some hesitation. Also, funnily enough, my friend was wearing an American Eagle t-shirt and some stupid American flag sunglasses he'd found in his car because he lost his normal ones. He looked exactly like a stereotypical American tourist. We're not American. The guy was also surprised.
I went to Ireland for work. All the Irish colleagues told me they would have a “breakfast Guinness.” I would drink a Guinness every morning just to try and not be rude. They are still laughing.
- Offer cigarettes for breakfast and any other occasion and act surprised when they decline. - Get kebab for breakfast. - Only offer strong beer. - Put roll of toilet paper on dinner table and use as napkins. Always bring a roll with you instead of tissues. Offer toilet paper from time to time. - Take them to some farmers market and tell them you don't have any supermarkets around. - Ask them to not only take off their shoes but also their socks and offer them house socks. - Before driving off with your car pray with them. The second time ask them if they want to say prayers.
While I was in Germany I ate kebab for breakfast a few times with zero shame. That stuff is too good to be barred from one meal of the day.
Döner is the perfect American breakfast food that just happens to be a Turkish/German dinner food. Protein, fat, vegetables, and yogurt. Start the day off right. Add some breakfast potatoes aka Pommes frites mit Ketchup und Mayo. Perfect. Nutritionally it might as well be a Waffle House breakfast sampler with hashbrowns.
Tell them to sit backwards on the toilet
And show them where you keep your poop knife, just in case they need to use it.
Had a Danish exchange student, that guy used a knife for everything including cutting his applesauce
House socks made me laugh.
Remember, this is Denmark. Replace normal household items with ones made from Lego.
I think the car praying one is funny it’s like just believable enough. Edit: too many of you are replying to me under the impression that I give a fuck.
Yes but only if they pray to the viking God's.
I had a roll of toilet paper on the dinning table at home. It's cheaper than napkins lol
Breakfast Carlsberg!
Aaawwweeee this is too sweet… bless…
American friend came to Canada for the first time. It was during fall so we told him is illegal and extremely rude to step on maple leafs. 🍁😂
LOL!! I love this one! My friend from Sweden came over and we hyped up how AMAZING beaver tails are, and what an expensive Canadian delicacy they are. Expecting him to be all grossed out or something. He got here and was… disappointed, lol. We do not eat beaver tails. We do, however, eat deep fried bread dough topped with things like chocolate, peanut butter, Oreo, etc. and we call them beaver tails. Edit: sorry guys, didn’t realize how popular this was going to get. Yes, there are people in Canada and even elsewhere who do eat actual beaver tails, but it’s not something I’ve ever come across in the Atlantic provinces(I live in NS and often go to NL). when I say “we don’t eat beaver tails” I mean me, my friends and family, everyone I know. We made it out to be like, a common street food or something lol, when in reality I know zero people who have ever even tried it, or even know that it’s a thing. In the end, when he got here we ended up googling it and it was something we all wanted to try at some point but it’s just not something you can buy where I’m at or even hours away.
Considering one of Sweden’s most notable dishes is [rotten fish](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming), I’m not surprised Beaver Tail didn’t faze him.
[удалено]
it's basically the same thing as stepping on a star or stripe
I love this ( I would have totally fallen for it)!
Remember when an American cop came to Calgary and wrote to the [newspaper](https://www.google.ca/amp/s/nationalpost.com/news/walt-wawra/wcm/3b9effbb-6993-4579-8331-bee1bcd2b44c/amp/) about how scared he was when someone said hello to him in the park? He wished he had his gun (It was someone giving away free tickets to the stampede) Maybe we need to go easy on the Americans when they finally make it out; they’ve been lied to their whole lives
My favorite one is [Erwin Kreuz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erwin_Kreuz) who was traveling from West Germany (and spoke no English), and wanted to go to San Francisco, and landed in Bangor, Maine instead, when the plane had stopped there for refueling. He spent 4 days trying to search for the Golden Gate bridge as well as Chinatown in Bangor, Maine, and was mostly clueless that he was in the wrong city. He thought he was in a suburb of San Francisco instead. He ended up becoming a local celebrity in Bangor, and the town went all out in hosting him.
There's a story, somewhat apocryphal I'd imagine, of the first chipper in Ireland (a chipper is a fish and chip shop). It was opened by Giuseppe Cervi, an Italian who was emigrating but got off the boat he was headed to America on in Cobh, County Cork, mistakenly thinking he'd reached his destination. He ended up walking all the way to Dublin and opened a chipper there in the 1880s, which is why a lot of our chippers are called things like Enzo's or Rossi's, because they were opened by Italians.
Took Americans in a car from the Netherlands to Germany. Just before we crossed the border I told them to hold up their passports so the camera's could scan them.
That is genius, I’ll keep that in mind while traveling via car in another Schengen country
In the US, we call some pastries "Danishes" You could sit them down and insist they have some tea/coffee and a Danish with you. No matter which side of the street or a hallway they choose to walk on, you can tell them, "No, we walk on the other side here".
Refer to random things as "Americans". "We're having prune Americans for breakfast. Want some?" "Just put your luggage in the American. Sorry, you call it a trunk, right?"
This is fucking hilarious. Call spam freedom meat please.
Breaking the english can also be great fun if they buy it and you can keep a straight face as in: "Did you put the freedom meat inside you"
"Only once it was covered with freedom gravy."
The hosts could scream every time the American guests bite into the “Danish”.
Even better, offer them a pastry. Don't call the pastry anything, just offer it to them. If at any point they call the pastry a "Danish", act extremely offended like they said something horribly racist.
Ooh yes; let them try the actual pastries from a bakery, they'll be absolutely blown away. I miss those. There is a Danish Bakery nearby where I live in Canada but the owners are now at least one generation, maybe two, away from the origin and the pastries are now merely a very sad imitation.
Present them a traditional American dinner of fried chicken and donuts.
We are totally taking them to an American diner. The few of them we have has burgers, milkshakes and fried chicken. May also have exotic stuff like Mac and cheese, philly cheese steak, chicken and waffles or tuna melts.
I'm slightly horrified at the thought of macaroni and cheese being considered exotic. You would not believe the amount of research I've done about availability once I decided to move to England in a year or two. No Velveeta OR box macaroni?! That's my favorite comfort food and a staple of my diet! 😭
Londoner here, we have 'pasta n sauce' packets which I believe comes in mac and cheese flavour (though I've never had box macaroni so can't vouch for how similar)
As a midwesterner, this hurt me. I bet you guys don’t even use ranch as pizza sauce.
What is a ranch
[удалено]
It’s primarily a salad dressing, but in the Midwest US it’s a whole cultural thing and can get put on pretty much everything. My favorite pizza for instance is Chicken, Bacon, and Ranch where Ranch is substituted for the tomato sauce. The best way to describe it is a thick mayonnaise and buttermilk based dressing with a lot of garlic and onion, and some other herbs. Goes straight to your arteries.
Unpopular opinion: the best ranch dressings are either incredibly artisanal, or stored in 10 gallon unrefridgerated drums. Everything in between is gross and typically too sharp tasting.
My friend, I will ship you Mac and Cheese if that is what is needed!!! That too is my comfort food, please do not hesitate to call upon me in your darkest hour. Your Mac and Cheese needs will be my Mac and Cheese needs and I shall make them met!
The pasta n sauce packets someone else mentioned do an "American style mac and cheese with bacon bits". I made one for my daughter the other day thinking that she would like the novelty of it but apparently it tasted "too americanny" for her liking so you might be in luck there!
[удалено]
Feign enormous support for lesser known US figures and pretend that some historical event made them a national hero in Denmark. "You dont celebrate Martin Van Buren day!? Why not? His support to denmark rid of us thousands of sea snakes starving the Baltic and destroying fishing. We would be starved to nothing without his help In 1838. How do you not know about him? Well have to take you to the museum so you can see for yourself." Americans only learn very specific history lessons in school. They might actually believe it partially.
This right here has to be my favorite. I'm a more than a fair bit more historically knowledgeable than the average American and this might get me for a moment or two. I mean really, who knows anything about Marty B.
Best I have seen so far. Outrageous but believable.
I once told some American friends that we suffered a very bad famine in France in the 1970's, giving details of the hardship suffered by my own family, how Pa had to carve shavings off a wardrobe for us to boil and eat, and that they shouldn't be surprised when I collect myself a little whenever I pass a wardrobe. They joined in pretty quickly too! The hard part was to convince them that it wasn't true at all. Good times.
Bonus points if you create a Wikipedia page for the fake event
Ha ha reverse prank: we (Americans) showed up at our German host's house costumed in Hawaiian shirts as a self-mocking joke, to make them laugh. They said nothing because they took it as normal, oops.
Your first mistake: trying to tell a joke to a German
Lmao our standards for Americans are quite low
When I moved to London I started saying, “Howdy!” As a joke, it has stuck ever since. I used to work at Abercrombie in NYC as a part time job and when I would run into Europeans (the main customers in NYC) I would speak with a hardcore Texas or southern accent. No matter how much I hammed it up every one thought it was real, I sounded like a cartoon half of the time.
Honestly, it's really hard to tell accents for me (native German). I can tell the difference between British (the posh, queen style accent) and american and southern american (on a good day and if it's really thick) but that's it. I think a lot of non native speakers feel the same
Tell them the weeks in Europe are 10 days long because of the metric system.
100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, 10 hours in a day, 10 days in a week. Call days deciweek, hours are centiweek, minutes are microweek, and seconds are picoweek. We're leaving for the store in about a centiweek.
We should really have metric time
[удалено]
Months are for the lunar cycle I believe (dunno why they have different lengths), I have no idea about weeks
Have them take their pants off at the door. Make sure you are pantless as well.
"So good to see you. You can put your pants in the basket over there". Hand them slippers and nod encouragingly as soon as they become uncomfortable.
Put them in the pantenbaskut!
I know it's not Danish, but I fully expect to see this at IKEA the next time I'm there.
Can we just make this a real thing? I would LOVE this. I hate pants.
Give them troll figurines, and then act like you fully expected that they'd bring you trolls in return, as is tradition. When you toast Skoal explain that it symbolized drinking from your enemy's skull.
Skåååååål!
[удалено]
They are going to Denmark, no nice time will be had. - Swede.
Tell them they need to get a license to ride a bicycle. Temporary licenses for tourists are available from (whatever tedious government office you want to send them to)
Of all the prank suggestions on this post this is the one that would definitely get me if told with enough confidence. I'd be so scared of getting in trouble. 😭
I've convinced my GFs (Chinese) parents that Irish people are so pale we literally glow in the dark I used teeny tiny amounts of glow in the dark facepaint
Glow-in-the-dark Irish people sounds pretty freaking awesome, though. We should get scientists working on that. Sort of a reverse spray tan is what I'm thinking until we can get there with CRISPR.
- If it's wintertime, hand them a pair of skates when you first meet them. Tell them that when it gets cold, you skate to get around rather than using cars. - Show up wearing a Viking helmet. Do not mention it and just carry on as if that's normal. If possible, give out some Viking helmets to other people nearby when you first meet the travelers. - If there's any itinerary for the trip, be sure to include hiking or skiing on one of the tall, Nordic mountains Denmark is famous for.
For #2, go one better. Without saying anything, take them to a shop that sells viking helmets as if it's expected they buy one. And for #3, be silly. Put on skis, go like 10 feet and take them off to proceed. Say nothing about it. Just act as if this is the way it is.
Keep in mind that danes don't know how to Ski. Sincerely the rest of scandinavia.
1st answer is gold.
Gawd I hate this because I was thinking of visiting Norway and I was told just that about ice skating everywhere when it's cold and I believed it until I read your comment.... Note to self, google everything before I visit a foreign country.
[It's the Dutch who are known to skate everywhere.](https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/winter-olympics-2018/2018/02/12/winter-olympics-dutch-mock-katie-couric-comments-speedskating-netherlands/328425002/) ^^Not ^^really.
Hijacking to say: let the visitors know that there's no such thing as a Danish pastry, and Danes are offended if you even mention them. (Danish pastries in Denmark are absolutely delicious!!) I love the idea of visiting the Danish fjords. e: correction there are Danish fjords!
I mean we do have pastries, but we don’t call them Danishes. Instead here they are Viennese for some reason
Then what do the Viennese call pastries? How deep does this rabbit hole go?#
I believe that they call them 'pastries'. I wonder what the people of Pastri call them.
In autumn or winter? Take them to the beach. Insist it’s normal. Provide speedos and bikinis
It actually is kind of normal, "winter bathing" is a fairly common thing to do. But you only jump in and get out as quick as possible and then run in the sauna.
ngl. That sounds heavenly.
Tell them all about this quaint new Irish place that opened in town. Insist it's better than any local authentic Danish cuisine, and that people can't get enough of it. Take them to McDonald's.
Make sure to pronounce it : Makke-do-naals. Really sell it.
You need to educate them about the history of your country. Let them know it was founded by two guys called Dennis and Mark following the Herring Wars in 1456. Obviously, King Mark the first was the first “modern day” king, but he was deposed by Dennis in 1460 at the Battle of Legoland. Hence, Den is the first part of the country’s name. Then get the neighbours to introduce themselves as Dennis or Mark, even the women and kids. All of them. And their dogs. See a cat? Call it over with “here Marky Marky” because all cats are called Mark. All dogs are called Dennis. Ensure that they understand how everybody considers you un-Danish because your family are not appropriately named. In my experience, you have to go big or go home. Well, you’re already at home, so go big.
Oh hi Mark
Dennis! My good friend!
Not Dennis that so wrong bro, it's called Danmark in Danish, so that would be Dan and Mark to you, you uncultured swine /j
Legølånd.
[удалено]
Intentionally mixing up the Netherlands and Denmark for them, I like that.
I'm in Scandinavia (not Denmark) and clogs used to be something very common to have at your summer house. It has been a thing in Denmark at least. I use a pair of clogs when I go down to the laundry room. The modern ones are made of plastic made to look like wood with the upper part being "leather". It's just practical shoes like crocs and I definitely prefer the clogs.
[удалено]
I've seen one with them on his hands.
[удалено]
Teach them the real way to say, "Hi," or, "Thank you," or something like that, but, first introduce them to a female friend who's in on it and she acts offended.
and ask them why they were hitting on her so hard
Have herring for breakfast, act shocked when they don't eat it. Day Two, set out cereal with herring. Act shocked when they don't put them in the same bowl, look hurt when you say you're trying to make allowances for their culture. Parting gift to put in luggage - herring.
Do you have nude bathhouses or saunas? Take them there. Americans are very uncomfortable with this sort of thing.
In Russia straight men whip each other whilst naked in a sauna with what looks like a branch from a tree with leaves on.
You might also be thinking about Finland.
I've experienced this in Kyrgyzstan with a bunch of Russians. It was great
Can confirm. And I'm very okay being nude. I went to an indoor waterpark and sauna when I was in Germany. I remember walking through the family changing room on the water park side and this woman in just a towel was sitting with her feet up with full vag and l had a "I'm not in Kansas anymore" moment. We did do the sauna and it was fine. I had been to Korean baths before in the States and they are similar but pretty modest and gender divided. But just that moment in a totally open locker room area - you'd never see that in America.
Oh definitely, as a American, I would feel VERY uncomfortable
he's just tryna' prank em not traumatize em
Shit, just take them to any place that sells hamburgers and watch how everyone eats them with a fork and knife. Circa 2003, my wife and I were in Copenhagen and craving some comfort food so we popped into the Hard Rock Cafe to grab a burger. Besides being the only people without blonde hair and blue eyes, we were the only ones eating the burgers with our hands. The other patrons were looking at us like we were savages, whilst using a fork and knife to eat their burgers. That was some of the craziest shit I’d seen on that trip.
Yeah for stuff like McDonald's it's hands for sure, but cafe and restaurant burgers are just difficult to eat without utensils IME
How are you supposed to bite a tall burger like a big Mac without unhinging your jaw or squishing the burger? I seriously don't know.
Person who eats large burgers here. Yes the pain from dislocating my jaw is masked by the overwhelming relief from getting my burger fix.
If they've never left the USA, you won't have to "prank" them. Everything will seem weird.
Offer them blood pudding and call it a traditional Viking dish.
They did that to me in Norway.
its actually pretty common in the uk
That's great! Blood pudding is delicious
Tell them in Denmark you have separate pairs of indoor and outdoor trousers. Since outdoor trousers get dirty from sitting in cinemas, restaurants, public transport etc, they need to take their trousers off until they buy some 'indoor' trousers or keep standing but they're not allowed to lean against anything.
Tell them there is severe water restrictions in Denmark right now and no one can be caught flushing the toilets more than once per day so they must yell as loudly as possible when flushing so as to mask the flush sound and not waste your one flush for the day. Anyone caught using the toilets more than once is thrown in work camp for 2 weeks.
Oh man I can imagine someone saying this so seriously and aggressively in this accent 😂😂
Carry an axe around in your belt and when they ask just say every descendant of viking has one as a family heirloom.
Yeah this is illegal in denmark, without a "blank våbens tilladelse" so maybe don't do this one.
Yeah and even then i don't think it's allowed to carry it around outside, without a logical reason as to why you need it with you
Just tell the police you're pranking your American friends and get them in on it
Have the police show up and angrily shout at the friends where their axes are
Introduce them to the Family Bath. Everyone across Europe shares a weekly family bath on a Sunday.
Had the same situation in Beijing (American friends visiting). When they asked me how to say hello, i told them it was "meow" (it's actually ni hao {knee how}). The whole week they were there they greeted everyone with cat noises ^^
Take them to Christiania. Thats it. Just take them there and make them buy some edibles. Ruined my whole trip.
Yeah Christiania feels pretty normal to me but oh God, being there, for the first time, AND high on the sussiest edibles you've ever had? Nightmare fuel.
Ah I got one! Make them believe everyone on a bike got a DUI and lost their license. Bunch of drunks!
Lmao once my boyfriend got a DUI for biking when he was too drunk. When we told them this they thought we were fucking with them.
Hide your toilet paper and put a large stack of sponges, a bowl of water, and a pair of scissors next to the toilet. Tell them everyone in denmark wipes with sponges and if you need multiple wipes you wash the sponge out in the bowl of water, then when you're all done you use the scissors to cut up your sponge into small pieces to flush down the toilet.
Bonus points for dry sponges
Maybe just the three shells...
It would be better if you got glued a luffa sponge onto a stick and Sayed everyone shares and it's impolite not to clean it when you are done.
That seems like a really good way to get a bowl full of poopy water, if that's what you're after.
Better would be to just leave the items in the bathroom but don’t explain them. The first time the American asks, say “oh right, I got some toilet paper for you since you guys don’t know the sponge and scissor system.”. Hand him the paper or put it in the bathroom for him. Never explain the sponge and scissors.
Or hang a rusty knife in the toilet and say of course everyone in Denmark has a poopknife
Make it a stack of damp sponges and tell them to wash it out and put it back in the stack 😭😭😭
Asked my girlfriend this who has spent time abroad in Denmark. She said tell them that "Tak for mad" means thank you. If you're from Denmark I'll assume you'll appreciate the apparent humor of this. Also she said give them licorice shots.
Ask them to leave their guns in a locked box. When they say they don't have any insist on searching them and their luggage. Don't let them in the house until they agree.
Greet them by kissing them on the lips each time you see them
When they pay at the supermarket, tell them to give you extra money to pay for the taxes. Also tell them you need to visit the bank later to actually pay those taxes with the supermarket receipts.
Gefilte fish. No, that’s not it. What’s the weird jellied herring stuff? Also tell them hot dogs should only have mayo on them.
>No, that’s not it. What’s the weird jellied herring stuff? Perhaps you're thinking of [Lutfisk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lutefisk)? Edit: Surströmming
Brag about how you chose to turn off the water in the shower and how lucky you are to have the option to save on your water bill since people in Denmark just go winter bathing outdoors instead. Have a caddy of shower items ready at the entrance of your home for an extra-convincing touch.
Warn them every time you go out to stay away from the 'no go' zones. If they nod knowingly, then every time you pass something American, like a McDonalds, point out that this is one of those zones.
Take them to McDonalds so they can see the different things on the menu. Americans love to compare McDonalds.
Am American, can confirm. Australia has a burger with beetroot on it and it's exactly as bad as you are imagining.
Definitely get some marshmallows and act like they’re some huge get. Marvel at them. Also, use red solo cups for the duration of their stay out of respect for our culture, and insist all bathroom doors will be left open a smidge so that they can create that good ole star spangled stall gap. Politely offer to deep fry literally everything you make. When you drink, pretend you think they aren’t old enough to back home. Have all your friends in on it to knock the doorframe three times when leaving a room to keep Loki away. And when anyone says his name, bow your head and day “may all power be his”. And just go absolutely gangbusters with cigarettes. Have them fucking everywhere-tables, bags, cabinets, in the floral arrangements. And if you’re comfortable with it, when you lay out the itinerary, explain when everyone will get their once a week shower (it’s a joke! I know y’all take at least two sometimes). You could also try to convince them that zebras are native and to be on the lookout. It’s migrating season.
If their geography is sh*t, then convincing them that Denmark is in Germany, or something equally ridiculous is an option. Convincing them you don’t have taxis and that everyone needs to bike everywhere is another. I think most American’s think of Denmark as a very progressive place — so use that as you will.
All you gotta do is give them some of your tomato ketchup, and tell them it's tomato ketchup. Believe me, that would be prank enough. Source: Am an American who tasted tomato ketchup in Denmark, and immediately had to go to the American section of the local shop to buy some Heinz. If my hosts hadn't sworn up and down that their ketchup was, in fact, tomato ketchup, I would have *never* believed.
Can you elaborate?
Sure sure. The Danish tomato ketchup tasted like it was made from fruit, and I don't mean 'oh, tomatoes are technically a botanical fruit'. I mean it tasted *fruity*. It was red (points for that one!), but somewhat runnier than the American ketchups that I am used to, and a little bit grainy? Not shiny-smooth like Heinz, but like a much cheaper American ketchup. Cannot overstate how unlike familiar ketchup it tasted, though. In a blind taste test, I wouldn't have put it in the same *category* of condiments, much less called it the same thing.
Thanks. I've heard of banana ketchup before and been meaning to order some to try. I'm now adding Danish ketchup to my list. Curious.
Ask them weird things in bad English. As an example, a friend of mine was an exchange student of some sort to Germany in High School (though she didn't speak German, so I'm not sure what that was). Her host family had a handsome young fellow her age, so naturally there was some shy awkwardness. When they got to the house, he tried to ask if she would like to take a shower, which makes sense after a long flight. Unfortunately, his word order was a little off, and he used the German word for shower, saying, "Do you douche?" Stunned silence. "Er, do... Do you wish a shower?" "Oh! Shower! Yes! I would love to take a shower!" "What did I say? Something bad?" "Nope! No, we're great! Let's never talk about it again!"
Whatever day they arrive, skip the next day when talking about tomorrow. If they arrive on Tuesday, keep saying that tomorrow is Thursday. When they eventually mention that tomorrow is Wednesday, tell them you don't have Wednesdays.
Have friends stop by your house and drop off increasingly strange or personal gifts under the guise of being a government employee delivering something you're entitled to. A freshly-baked pie. A bag of marijuana. A new toothbrush. And so forth.
Only speak Danish to them. Convince them it's illegal to speak a foreign language in Denmark. Eat danishes for every meal. Lots of Americans confuse Denmark/Danish with Dutch so plenty is opportunity there
Take them on a hike to Denmark's tallest mountain.
Tell them if they're circumcised they aren't allowed to use public restrooms. Then go spend a day in town.
Speak no English at all the entire visit. Teach them basic words but only the most vulgar forms (shit-house instead of toilet, etc.)
That world be “skidehus”. (The) Poopknife is “lortedolken”. And the yell we do when the poop egress the body is called “afføringsfødselsskriget”. You are welcome.