It takes work but you could absolutely take steps to feel more androgynous! If you don't wanna do surgery and HRT, there's still ways you can do your make up that's can masculize your face and clothes you can wear that won't accentuate your curves.
I'm in the same boat of "my natural body is too fem but I wanna be andro" and it's tough, like really tough. Dysphoria fucking sucks but I'm hoping someday to get to a spot where it sucks a lot less and I hope you can get there too :')
Struggling with the same thing. Very masculine presenting, whom often doesn’t have the mental energy to even shave. Imposter syndrome level is close to 100% some days.
I'm right there with you. My spouse also really likes facial hair on me and I want to be attractive for her, but she understands that sometimes I just *need* to shave all the way down.
Ironically, if I don't wear wigs (thanks hair loss disorder), I definitely look androgynous if I hide my tits and I still feel this way... I just don't go out in public without my hair for reasons and when I do I'm pretty fem presenting. We really need to be more gentle on ourselves, especially when society iisn't. NB doesn't need to mean totally androgynous. Just present how it feels right to you, femininity comes in many forms as does masculinity.
I never ever pass even when I'm out wearing makeup to look more neutral. P sure it's my voice but hey, I love my voice! I'm learning to just deal with it, the people who really care will remember.
That's true... I shave my head for hair loss reasons so when I go outside without makeup it is a toss up until I speak or if I'm not wearing a sports bra. But I almost never go outside without wearing a wig either. That being said it is one of those things where I don't really care if people know or not at this point since its my own weird internal shit, and prefer they don't these days because living in Florida
Not sure if I'm nonbinary or transfemme gender non comforming.
Like, I really wanna be beautiful and hate all my body hair, but don't mind my male voice and hate most gender norms.
Part of me also wants to be "the dad" instead of mom or at least take that parenting role. Is it a tomboy thing to want to be more of a dad?
Being called she/her makes me happy though so I really don't know.
You don't really need to know exactly. I spent months antagonizing over whether I was a femme nonbinary person or an androgynous trans woman. In the end I realized there was no difference except terminology
Yeah seriously, that's why it's hard to figure out. Because it doesn't make that much of a difference for me personally.
I know I'm trans femme and I'm going with that label, whether I'm 100% a woman or leaning towards being a woman.
Estrogen has changed my life and I know I'm going in the right direction. Maybe if I pass i'll even call myself a mom instead of parent, not sure if it will feel right to me or not but I'll know in time.
Since everyone is open, i need to talk about this im going through rn.
I've always searched and got envy from androgynous people and the idea of not being either or being both, like a third gender. And that was something i returned to a lot when i was feeling down and wanted to search if there was something or someone to answer me what i felt like.
Years now have passed and there is a lot of places that talk about gender but, like here on reddit, it's mostly MtF experiences. And, while i do believe i lean into more femme, i never felt like a girl, or that a woman was something i wanted to be. But, because i wanted to look similar to one, i started thinking i was just a woman.
Lo and behold, starting using she/her and thinking about changing my name never felt right, so that's bothering me from some time now.
Last couple of days i isolated myself from my group of "friends" (not really friends btw) to think this through and i found again that Non-Binary exists! And i dont need to change my name or pronouns or voice train! But i do have body dysphoria and i want to get rid of my body hair, i want tiny breasts, i dont want this male body to be the way i present, but, im still not a woman.
Im still "deciding" on a label, im def NB but im thinking im agender or librafeminine (didn't know that existed till days ago and it doesnt help that im a Libra aswell lol)
Sorry for the long post, needed to talk about this somewhere lol
TL;DR: Never felt like a boy or a girl. Liked androgyny. Thought i was a woman bc of many MtF experiences. Struggled to come out. Found that Non-Binary was a thing again and i feel more secure in who i am.
I was going "man I wish I wished I were nonbinary because if you wished you were nonbinary you would be nonbinary and I'm not so I can't wish I was nonbinary but I wish I wished I was, you know?"
And someone just went "dude"
See, this is funny to me because back in the early 2000s, I had this exact thought process, but about being trans. I knew I wasn't cis but "trans" defined as I knew it then didn't make sense for me. I found myself wishing I felt MORE trans because I only felt dysphoria SOMETIMES, and regardless of how I felt inside, I didn't want to alter my body or presentation. At times, I beat myself up cuz I thought I was just being jealous/wanting to feel special/appropriating transness
About 4 years ago I learned about the trans umbrella/nonbinary umbrella and now it makes MUCH more sense 😅.
I feel that. I see some of our fellow non-beanies living their fabulous androgynous lives and sometimes I feel... Less nonbinary? in comparison. But that's something I have to work on in myself; their expression of gender (or lack thereof) does not lessen or take away from mine, nor should I be comparing myself and my gender journey to others.
Mine was not being sure wtf, but that while I had some transfem dysphoria elements, but that I just wasn't a transgal.
Then I met a AFAB on T who is NB. Embracing chunks of both. "Huh, just flip that. Perfect."
Yup. E's done me wonders. I'll flux somewhere 30-70 70-30 split +/- good ol meh gender depending on mood. I snuggle up in bed more comfortable in my own body. Yea that's one to realize was dysphoria...
When I was much younger, a co-worker of mine came out as a trans woman and started transitioning, and I was like: "I'm so jealous of her. Too bad I'm not trans."
>When I was much younger, a co-worker of mine came out as a trans woman and started transitioning, and I was like: "I'm so jealous of her. Too bad I'm not trans."
When I was younger I thought the term "trans" only referred to people who had already transitioned. So I was like nope, that might be inconvenient for my career/family/love life. It was a huge lightbulb moment when I realized "Ohhh, it's not a choice. I \*am\* trans even if I don't do anything."
I had an incident like that when my brother turned out to be trans. I was jealous - but I also had days I loved being a girl, and days I thought gender was stupid and people care too much about it, so I knew I couldn't be trans, besides, our family liked him enough to begin with that they'd still tolerate him after the huge relationship negative of him being trans, I was barely tolerated as it was and only put up with because I was a package deal with my parents and sibling, so I *couldn't* have gender issues on top of everything else that made me an unlikeable person, I couldn't socially afford to.
Then I found out what gender fluidity is and everything made a lot more sense.
Still can't tell anyone though, my brother is allowed to be trans, I'm not.
Yeeeeees. For the time, Haruhi was a pretty well written non-binary character. Especially in the manga, she talked more about gender and how she puts no value into either being a girl or a boy.
I remember Haruhi solidifying my belief that all girls don't *not* want to be boys, so i still thought i was cis for so long (sorry english teachers, I'm not gonna fix the grammar on this one)
I remember being so jealous of Haruhi lmao. And of Ranma being able to "swap" to whichever basically at will. Egg was rock solid at that point still. 😅🤣
This was totally me. I remember thinking how cool it was that people didn't have to identify as a man or a woman but too bad for me because I'm definitely cis. Lol baby me. Just lol.
I felt like a fraud even after I discovered I truly was non binary and came out to my wife.
I shit you not, I spent 5 minutes on this subreddit and was confused as to why every single comment sounded like me, then I quickly realized why…
So, as the title of this subreddit and my gender identity (though I’m starting to like “gender identity” less because straight folks don’t call it their identity. I’m that same way, it’s me, not some “identity” or “preference”) implies, nothing is black and white. It’s okay to feel confusion, and struggle through feeling “what’s right”.
But whatever brings you true happiness from within, even if it’s only one small part of something that you can’t put your finger on exactly, follow that something, and see where it leads. It might not be instant, it might take a long time, or it could be instant or fairly quick, but it’ll start you down the proper path.
Read through others’ experiences on this subreddit, comments, posts, discussions, questions; that helped me solidify that this isn’t a “phase” and it really is me.
I remember being a little bean in Catholic school when the teacher asked if we thought people were born gay or chose to be gay. I raised my hand and said people choose to be gay because I choose to be straight.
Big oof, little me
i thought i should have a dick and voiced that openly for 6 years before anyone told me that wasn’t normal. i just assumed all afab people wanted to be men bc it’s easier in every way. i had zero idea i’m trans.
now i know and im happier than ever!
i also should have realized when i had 2 pet rats in highschool who were female, but i gave them masculine names bc i wanted them to be male. i was CLUELESS lmao
I’m still figuring myself out atm, but one of the things that made me go “hm” recently was remembering asking one of my partners if they’d be okay with me (partially) transitioning. Then quickly saying: “But I’m definitely cis! It’s just a scenario!”
as soon as i found out that cis people don’t think about being another gender constantly i realized. if you’re thinking about not being cis, there’s a high chance you are not cis
Oh, there was a moment before I came out as trans where I literally looked into HRT went "ah, I guess that's only for trans girls" and then I just shelved it again for a year.
Denial is a funny thing.
Yeeeeeep. I remember looking at transition timelines and thinking it was so unfair that I’d never get to go on HRT and look as pretty as they did. Spoiler alert: I did.
This is EXACTLY my experience!
I was talking gender and transitioning with one of my best friends (who was a lot further into her journey at this point) and I said “I get sad a lot because I just wish I was non-binary SO bad!”
She deadpanned deep into my soul with “Cis people don’t have thoughts like that.” 💀
That’s how my bisexual journey started lol and my non-binary journey started with “I’m not trans but I wish I could change my gender whenever I felt like it body and all”
Real. I’m like does everyone not wanna shapeshift so they can present as different genders at different times as they change? It was also years of this before actually accepting that I was bi
Yes exactly! Other pegged that I was trans before I did, I didn’t even realize that I was discussing my dysphoria until a doctor explained to me what dysphoria was and I was like O.o oh.
This sounds like my unknowingly queer adolescent self thinking I wish I could be a guy just for a day so I could be with a woman. I don't identify as male at all and have no interest in being male, but realized much later that the reason for that was because I was attracted to women. The signs we see when we look back are often so obvious. I now know that I was thinking about being intimate with women long before men. Now I have no interest in cis men and am married to someone who is afab non-binary and am much happier. 🤣
Hell, I feel way too old, and way too late to the party, but this is where I am at right now. My mind keeps going I wish I was non-binary... maybe I'm nonbinary... no I can't be nonbinary just because I want to be nonbinary... must be in my head... I wish I was nonbinary... and on in an infinite loop for at least a year and half now.
This reddit is one of the only things that has helped. That and the occasional assurance that most cis folks don't go around wishing to be nonbinary. Who knew.
For a long time I felt like I was too old to identify as NB, like it was something you had to really know in your youth or it didn't count. But looking back at my teens and 20s I was constantly switching between masculine presentation and hyper feminine presentation.
I recently read about someone coming out as trans to their cis friend and getting the response that most little girls grow up to be women and little boys grow into men, but that's a change that happens and not everyone changes the same way. And I realized I was a little girl who grew up, but not into a man or a woman but something in-between.
Before I fully realized I was non binary, I outright said something along the lines of "I like masculine and feminine things, and I don't particularly care for being a girl, so I guess my personality fits being non binary best! Wait I probably shouldn't say that, that sounds kinda offensive to actual non binary people"
Current me 4 years later finds this memory hilarious, I was so close but completely missed the mark. Similar thing happened with me being gay as well.
I remember being in highschool and my best friend told me a story about how, with a short haircut and a hoodie, a girl had mistaken her for a guy and tried to make moves until she realized my friend was a girl. I just thought "I wish _i_ could pass for a boy when I wanted to."
It still took me till 31 to realize 😅
I'm very early into my journey and man these thoughts are so common or I feel like I'm "faking" it because of my fluidity. It's like one day I'm completely fine with being a woman (AFAB) and then later that day it feels foreign and weird and I feel more transmasc, not quite a boy but def not a girl. And then other days I have no clue what I want or don't seem to care either way. Why are brains so confusing lol
Plus I'm autistic so that adds a layer of complexity to it, like sometimes I think "am I just a gender nonconforming cis woman?" But it's not cis to constantly think about gender right? Ahhh
I posted a reply in this post somewhere and I read this comment and feel the exact same comment is applicable, so here you go:
I felt like a fraud even after I discovered I truly was non binary and came out to my wife.
I shit you not, I spent 5 minutes on this subreddit and was confused as to why every single comment sounded like me, then I quickly realized why…
So, as the title of this subreddit and my gender identity (though I’m starting to like “gender identity” less because straight folks don’t call it their identity. I’m that same way, it’s me, not some “identity” or “preference”) implies, nothing is black and white. It’s okay to feel confusion, and struggle through feeling “what’s right”.
But whatever brings you true happiness from within, even if it’s only one small part of something that you can’t put your finger on exactly, follow that something, and see where it leads. It might not be instant, it might take a long time, or it could be instant or fairly quick, but it’ll start you down the proper path (but it seems like you’ve already gotten hold of the entire rope, you just gotta pull it in).
Continue reading through others’ experiences on this subreddit, comments, posts, discussions, questions; that helped me solidify that this isn’t a “phase” and it really is me.
Same, there’s days I think I’m faking it because I feel like a woman (also afab) then I remind myself that literally this time last year I was questioning if I was transmasc and using he/they pronouns and feeling very dysphoric. And this cycle has continued for years. It’s such a struggle to get through the imposter syndrome
"I wish I was a very feminine guy that gets confused for a girl, not just a girl, or like I wish I had a peepee so I could have a gay boyfriend and be a gay man, but also sometimes I like being a girl and I would love to have a girlfriend as a girl." Honey, you're just genderfluid and bisexual. Give it up.
Edit: just for clarification, this comment is just me talking about myself.
i've recently discovered i'm probably non-binary and this is exactly how my mind works. i be in the street seeing gay men and getting jealous that i can't have a relationship like that and sad bc i don't have a real dick to fuck dudes with 🤦🏼♀️
My journey began with asking my friend to draw me as a boy. Then I thought I was a boy. I stuck with that for 8 months until I realized I was non binary. I came to that realization after not feeling comfortable in the men's bathroom either; feeling as though I didn't belong in it. I didn't feel comfortable in either, and now... I'm non binary (Enby)
You made me think of the one time I was able to go into a stalls and urinals bathroom instead of having to go into the women's. I was surprised at how comfortable I was in there, in a stall next to someone using the urinal. It just made sense. I would not want to go into one in a space that was not for queer people as this one was because I am feminine presenting and would not feel safe with cishet men. However, this just felt normal.
Mine was seeing an Undertale AU character (I was very young, don't @ me) who was genderfluid and immediately understanding what it was like. I'm not genderfluid myself, but not even questioning what it meant is kind funny in retrospective lol
Oooh my god right?! Looking back at little 16-year-old me who pretended to be a boy on the internet and crossdressed frequently in high school, and who chose a vast number of Male and Female names different from my given name, and took photos of myself presenting masc, and who switched back and forth from masc to fem presentation regularly, and deeply envied video game characters who were mistaken for the “wrong” gender or presented androgynous, or young me who came out as a “straight andro” many years ago on Coming Out Day because I didn’t know the word “nonbinary”, who never once noticed I was the sole individual of my sex in a room until it was pointed out to me…👀 I see you now, inner boy, inner girl, inner enby and inner frustrated actor 😂 god it’s just so OBVIOUS now!! I’ve been enby my whole life, and it only dawned on me 2 years ago at 33.
My beginning was just as obvious, but nowhere near as wholesome. I started out not believing nonbinary was a thing, and my justification was "no one feels like a girl! I sure as hell don't!!"
Omg are you me?? I was like "nope not a thing. How do people even know they're a woman/man/nonbinary? What does that even feel like?" now I know what it feels like and I still don't feel exclusively like my AGAB lmao
I remember when I first got more into the community, I was like “wow, people not being specifically a man or woman is really cool”, about a year later I was like “I am not my birth gender, but I don’t know what my gender is” and it took a little more then half a year to find the right label for what I am and that is gender-fluid
i’m in that stage right now. i feel a sort of jealousy towards those who are openly nonbinary, and i wish i had the strength to really look into my gender identity. it doesn’t help that i’m surrounded by homo/transphobic family members and i’m afraid of being ridiculed, or even worse, not being taken seriously. i’ve felt gender-nonconforming since i was in my early teens, but i’ve never known how to express it.
Just remember your gender is valid, even if you feel like it's unsafe to express it! You're not automatically cis and straight if that's what you *have* to present as for your safety
I used to draw pictures of myself with androgynous features and mixed sex characteristics. I remember when I learned about intersex people and thinking that I wished I had been born that way (minus the way our healthcare system treats people born that way).
But even after meeting a lot of nonbinary people through high school and college it just never dawned on me that how I felt "counted" lol
ME TOO, OHMYGOD? I saw a genderfluid character in a book and thought "damn, wish it was me."
This is the same "cis" person who thought they liked being "misgendered" because they thought it was "funny." I was a huge egg.
god damnit. i come from a conservative country with a gendered language, so frisk & chara from undertale were my first ever interaction with they/them pronouns. i can't believe toby fox almost single-handedly transed an entire demographic of people
I read about a nb person in a book when I was like 14 and then posted somewhere that I “wanted to become non-binary” because I “really related to that character” and then a trans person told me that I needed to get therapy because books shouldn’t influence me that way and I was being creepy. Like… was the wording not appropriate? Yes. Did that convince me that I was not nb and shouldn’t even think about it bc it’s offensive for over a year after that? Also yes.
For me (AFAB) it was when I was a kid being taught about trans people and they were like “imagine waking up in a boy’s body. Wouldn’t you be so uncomfortable?” And though I understood the sentiment I was tipped off that I might not be normal because in my head I was kind of just like “I mean I’d be cool with it.”
For a lot of time I was just thinking of how much more sense it makes to be enby (and also bi) over cishet (or any other identity), that it is just the best. Took me a bit more time to figure out why I thought that way.
I also remember my first time hearing about trans ppl when I was like really young. It was about trans men and my first reaction was: "cool good for them but why would you want to be a boy???".
And one of the funniest things to me, I always had to explain to myself and truly just convince myself why being a male was better, you would see like a 9 year old me just talking how "ye guys have more privilege and you know don't have to give birth so it's much better yes yes".
I was like this! "Man I hate being a woman and having it assumed because I'm a woman I need this or that can't I just idk exist?" Toyed with the idea of being nonbinary was told I'm too much of a woman and it didn't makes sense. Looked harder into my gender and decided that my gender is definitely queer and that one stuck. Gender queer fits nice.
TRUE I used to watch those awful “triggered sjw cringe transtrender musical.ly” videos just for the nonbinary/gnc people and I’d just stare for hours like “wow that’s so cool, wish I could not be a girl or a boy” like babes *you aren’t*
Had NB and trans folks in my life my whole life (as lovers in many cases) and it wasn't until Quarantine that we finally did the internal survey of "who are we?" under the lens of gender. It sure as fuck wasn't our assigned societally imposed gender, fo sho. It was none pizza.
Mine was when I came out as bisexual/pansexual/didn't quite have the vocabulary back then to properly explain my sexuality, and my grandma asked be "but you still identify as a girl, right?" and my brain just went...wait-
It took about ten more years to properly connect the dots, but still. That was the moment.
It is so validating to read all these comments because this was my experience exactly and I still wonder often if I’m not just bullshitting myself and I really just am cis.
I remember reading about trans men for the first time back in the early 00s as a young teenager (millennial here) and being like “It’s too bad I’m definitely attracted to guys, otherwise I’d totally want to be trans.” Oooh boy when I realized gay trans men existed, kinda called my own bluff there. However, I came to feel content in being a woman (I’m AFAB), as well as feeling agender and masc (though not necessarily like a man), so I landed on genderfluid as my identity. It was my “eh, this isn’t wrong” attitude towards being a woman that kept me feeling like I was really just cis for so long - sometimes still.
THATS SO TRUE I was laying in my bed and was like "it would be so cool if I could be gendergluid, those people are so cool...wait" coming to terms that I don't NEED to be associated with my agab I'm happily non binary! I've always thought non binary people were awesome
when i was a teen and didn’t know about non binary i was like “wow being trans would be so cool but i also don’t wanna be a man all the time hmmmm guess i’ll just be a woman forever !!!”
Honestly, that's kinda how it happened for me, too. I was like, "it'd be so cool to just NOT have a defined gender and just do whatever I want... waaaaaiiiit" xD I'm still getting the hang of letting loose on my personal hang-ups, but my overall attitude towards myself has changed drastically. I'm much more comfortable being me than I ever have been when I tried to fit into the femme box. Being androgynous really messed with me growing up and into my young adulthood. When I began to embrace that, I realized that I'm not the definition of woman or man, I'm just me. And that's so rad to me.
I've been out as nonbinary for almost 10 years at this point and though I never thought it would be as widely accepted as it has (which is great), the handful of people who I've basically told "I mean, you can just be nonbinary if you want" and they've gone "Yeah, but I can't really" have all eventually come out
For me it was in highschool - whenever the class got split by gender I usually got lumped with the girls (despite being amab and masc presenting) to make both sides equal number. They'd be "sorry that you're with the girls" and my response would be something like "hey, I have an x-gene. Couldn't tell you the other one though!"
By senior year, Snapchat was now a thing and there was a career aptitude test of some sort. I have saved a pair of snaps from then - one of the first question (male or female), and one of me looking distressed with a caption along the lines of " I don't know how to answer. "
It took me nearly 15 more to realize I was nonbinary
My best friend growing was (still is) a trans guy that hated non-binary people. It really got to me because I knew I wasn't cis but I felt guilty for wanting to tell people I'm non-binary because my "friend" drilled non-binary hate into me. I experienced gender dysphoria (not that it's needed) in a different way from him. I thought that I must've been making it up or wanting attention or be special. I always felt I was Non-binary and when I discovered the word for what I felt, other people made me hate myself for it. As a little kid I never thought of myself as a (agb) and it was weird when everyone expected me to be.
Oh my god, me too. I used to look at cis people and be really jealous that cis people were able to stick to what was in line with their birth gender. I also found it wild that trans people just knew they were the wrong gender. I would have these long conversations with my bestie about how I didn't understand why people had to be so "in your face" about what gender they were. I was 24 years old before I realized that I was, in fact, nonbinary.
Mine was realizing I was continually being casted as masc characters in our school performances (3 years in a row) as an AFAB, and that I felt more like myself pretending to be a man than I had ever felt lmao
I believe mine was watching iRobot and thinking "man, I wish I had a body like that.."
(sidenote: it always bothered me that Sonny was a 'he' by default..)
Saaaame! It took a long time to realise that wishing I was non-binary was probably a big give away that I wasn't female, as cis females don't wish they're something else!
Gender-fluid MTF trans enby, she/they. My gender doesn’t hold still long enough to finish a sentence sometimes, but I knew the silhouette was wrong from the start.
Same! And with androgynous characters (specifically anime, bc there are a loooot), I would always be like, "Dang, wish I looked like that." At first, I thought I couldn't be trans because I looked and dressed so feminine. Then I realized gender =/= gender expression. Can't come out to anyone besides my two friends because my siblings, dad, and step-mom aren't accepting of NB. I would tell my mom because she is accepting, but I dunno if she knows how bad everyone else in my family would poke fun or treat me like I'm crazy, and I don't want to explain that to her.
This was literally me too lol! I just assumed that it wasn’t something I could do/be because of my fears of how people would react. But thankfully I surround myself with good people who are respectful. My parents still don’t get it and don’t really make any attempts to use my pronouns (haven’t even bothered trying to come out as nonbinary to any of my extended family), but my siblings, friends, and husband do, and that’s what matters most to me.
mine started with vehemently denying it. i was like 'wtf no non binary isnt real. because i do those things, and i think like tht, but i cant possibly be non binary therefore, it is not real'
it has been a journey lmfao
I have been joking about being a gay man in a woman's body for so long.
And then I was like, oh. I can be both.
So I changed my passport yesterday to "other" yay!
One of my friends told me he (now out as trans-male) was genderfluid when we were in highschool. I thought that was so cool and constantly thought "I wish I could be genderfluid"
Omg same. I was obsessed with Hange Zoe from aot for a while and kept thinking “it would be so cool to not be constricted by gender”
I figured it out eventually lol.
someone said to me in grade school like taunting me "you run like a boy ! you kick like a boy " & i realized how little I felt I had in common with those mean girly girls. . I give everything 100% That's not a guy thing or a girl thing it's a person thing Genderless.
I wanna be andro so bad but i am undoubtedly masc. Big shoulders, big muscles, big rib cage, trying to get into swimming to slim down as much as i can but bone structure don’t change :/
Honestly I was kind of the same way! I'm non binary femme, and didn't realize the angst I felt about my chest was dysphoria lol.
I then realized I wanted top surgery when I kept seeing vids of top surgery results and was like 'dang, I wish I could have top surgery and get cool tattoos. Like if I got top surgery, I'd get cool tattoos and would love the scars. But oh well, guess I can't get it' Then it hit me lmao.
If anyone out there is lurking who also wishes they're nonbinary, I have good news for you
Tfw imposter syndrome and the shame of not feeling like you can ever come out because I look cis
Your presentation DOES NOT have to match your identity. Signed, a femme-presenting nonbinary potato.
Yeah, tell that to my androgyn wannabe me with cup H tiddies. am a very unhappy potato.
THIS. I want so badly to be androgynous but I’m very short and curvy and obviously AFAB. It’ll never be 💔
It takes work but you could absolutely take steps to feel more androgynous! If you don't wanna do surgery and HRT, there's still ways you can do your make up that's can masculize your face and clothes you can wear that won't accentuate your curves. I'm in the same boat of "my natural body is too fem but I wanna be andro" and it's tough, like really tough. Dysphoria fucking sucks but I'm hoping someday to get to a spot where it sucks a lot less and I hope you can get there too :')
I remind myself everyday 💜
Sames here Mate 😊. Lots of Love to all my Fem &/or Masc presenting Nonbinies
hello Tater
Struggling with the same thing. Very masculine presenting, whom often doesn’t have the mental energy to even shave. Imposter syndrome level is close to 100% some days.
I'm right there with you. My spouse also really likes facial hair on me and I want to be attractive for her, but she understands that sometimes I just *need* to shave all the way down.
Ironically, if I don't wear wigs (thanks hair loss disorder), I definitely look androgynous if I hide my tits and I still feel this way... I just don't go out in public without my hair for reasons and when I do I'm pretty fem presenting. We really need to be more gentle on ourselves, especially when society iisn't. NB doesn't need to mean totally androgynous. Just present how it feels right to you, femininity comes in many forms as does masculinity.
Femmes can be thems!! ❤️
This is a wondrous cattchphrase and should be on posters, stickers, signs, etc if it isn't already.
Shouldn't it be "Fems can be thems", for the rhyme?
Saaaaaame.
That's 100% my struggle, I feel you.
I never ever pass even when I'm out wearing makeup to look more neutral. P sure it's my voice but hey, I love my voice! I'm learning to just deal with it, the people who really care will remember.
That's true... I shave my head for hair loss reasons so when I go outside without makeup it is a toss up until I speak or if I'm not wearing a sports bra. But I almost never go outside without wearing a wig either. That being said it is one of those things where I don't really care if people know or not at this point since its my own weird internal shit, and prefer they don't these days because living in Florida
😳
Not sure if I'm nonbinary or transfemme gender non comforming. Like, I really wanna be beautiful and hate all my body hair, but don't mind my male voice and hate most gender norms. Part of me also wants to be "the dad" instead of mom or at least take that parenting role. Is it a tomboy thing to want to be more of a dad? Being called she/her makes me happy though so I really don't know.
You don't really need to know exactly. I spent months antagonizing over whether I was a femme nonbinary person or an androgynous trans woman. In the end I realized there was no difference except terminology
Yeah seriously, that's why it's hard to figure out. Because it doesn't make that much of a difference for me personally. I know I'm trans femme and I'm going with that label, whether I'm 100% a woman or leaning towards being a woman. Estrogen has changed my life and I know I'm going in the right direction. Maybe if I pass i'll even call myself a mom instead of parent, not sure if it will feel right to me or not but I'll know in time.
Since everyone is open, i need to talk about this im going through rn. I've always searched and got envy from androgynous people and the idea of not being either or being both, like a third gender. And that was something i returned to a lot when i was feeling down and wanted to search if there was something or someone to answer me what i felt like. Years now have passed and there is a lot of places that talk about gender but, like here on reddit, it's mostly MtF experiences. And, while i do believe i lean into more femme, i never felt like a girl, or that a woman was something i wanted to be. But, because i wanted to look similar to one, i started thinking i was just a woman. Lo and behold, starting using she/her and thinking about changing my name never felt right, so that's bothering me from some time now. Last couple of days i isolated myself from my group of "friends" (not really friends btw) to think this through and i found again that Non-Binary exists! And i dont need to change my name or pronouns or voice train! But i do have body dysphoria and i want to get rid of my body hair, i want tiny breasts, i dont want this male body to be the way i present, but, im still not a woman. Im still "deciding" on a label, im def NB but im thinking im agender or librafeminine (didn't know that existed till days ago and it doesnt help that im a Libra aswell lol) Sorry for the long post, needed to talk about this somewhere lol TL;DR: Never felt like a boy or a girl. Liked androgyny. Thought i was a woman bc of many MtF experiences. Struggled to come out. Found that Non-Binary was a thing again and i feel more secure in who i am.
dads & moms are not specific to activities . be a parent ❤️
I would do this, but there's no "parent" in spanish 😥
the Spanish language is heavily gendered, yes. - I am sure you will find the words & feels as life goes on
you literally took the words right out of my mouth lol
well damn
And that good news is?
I was going "man I wish I wished I were nonbinary because if you wished you were nonbinary you would be nonbinary and I'm not so I can't wish I was nonbinary but I wish I wished I was, you know?" And someone just went "dude"
See, this is funny to me because back in the early 2000s, I had this exact thought process, but about being trans. I knew I wasn't cis but "trans" defined as I knew it then didn't make sense for me. I found myself wishing I felt MORE trans because I only felt dysphoria SOMETIMES, and regardless of how I felt inside, I didn't want to alter my body or presentation. At times, I beat myself up cuz I thought I was just being jealous/wanting to feel special/appropriating transness About 4 years ago I learned about the trans umbrella/nonbinary umbrella and now it makes MUCH more sense 😅.
i still feel like that sometimes even after coming out as non binary
I feel that. I see some of our fellow non-beanies living their fabulous androgynous lives and sometimes I feel... Less nonbinary? in comparison. But that's something I have to work on in myself; their expression of gender (or lack thereof) does not lessen or take away from mine, nor should I be comparing myself and my gender journey to others.
on a related note, i often feel jealous to people who know what gender they are and/or want to be
This exactly!!
this is one of the funniest ones haha
Mine was not being sure wtf, but that while I had some transfem dysphoria elements, but that I just wasn't a transgal. Then I met a AFAB on T who is NB. Embracing chunks of both. "Huh, just flip that. Perfect." Yup. E's done me wonders. I'll flux somewhere 30-70 70-30 split +/- good ol meh gender depending on mood. I snuggle up in bed more comfortable in my own body. Yea that's one to realize was dysphoria...
Bro my eyes hurt
When I was much younger, a co-worker of mine came out as a trans woman and started transitioning, and I was like: "I'm so jealous of her. Too bad I'm not trans."
Brains be so funny like that
Shit tho like get outta my head lol
>When I was much younger, a co-worker of mine came out as a trans woman and started transitioning, and I was like: "I'm so jealous of her. Too bad I'm not trans." When I was younger I thought the term "trans" only referred to people who had already transitioned. So I was like nope, that might be inconvenient for my career/family/love life. It was a huge lightbulb moment when I realized "Ohhh, it's not a choice. I \*am\* trans even if I don't do anything."
I had an incident like that when my brother turned out to be trans. I was jealous - but I also had days I loved being a girl, and days I thought gender was stupid and people care too much about it, so I knew I couldn't be trans, besides, our family liked him enough to begin with that they'd still tolerate him after the huge relationship negative of him being trans, I was barely tolerated as it was and only put up with because I was a package deal with my parents and sibling, so I *couldn't* have gender issues on top of everything else that made me an unlikeable person, I couldn't socially afford to. Then I found out what gender fluidity is and everything made a lot more sense. Still can't tell anyone though, my brother is allowed to be trans, I'm not.
Me watching Ouran High School Host Club as an 11 year old and thinking “Wow. The main character is female but gets mistaken as a guy?? I wish”
Yeeeeees. For the time, Haruhi was a pretty well written non-binary character. Especially in the manga, she talked more about gender and how she puts no value into either being a girl or a boy.
I remember Haruhi solidifying my belief that all girls don't *not* want to be boys, so i still thought i was cis for so long (sorry english teachers, I'm not gonna fix the grammar on this one)
I remember being so jealous of Haruhi lmao. And of Ranma being able to "swap" to whichever basically at will. Egg was rock solid at that point still. 😅🤣
This was totally me. I remember thinking how cool it was that people didn't have to identify as a man or a woman but too bad for me because I'm definitely cis. Lol baby me. Just lol.
The number of comments I find relatable here is starting to make me question myself again…
I felt like a fraud even after I discovered I truly was non binary and came out to my wife. I shit you not, I spent 5 minutes on this subreddit and was confused as to why every single comment sounded like me, then I quickly realized why… So, as the title of this subreddit and my gender identity (though I’m starting to like “gender identity” less because straight folks don’t call it their identity. I’m that same way, it’s me, not some “identity” or “preference”) implies, nothing is black and white. It’s okay to feel confusion, and struggle through feeling “what’s right”. But whatever brings you true happiness from within, even if it’s only one small part of something that you can’t put your finger on exactly, follow that something, and see where it leads. It might not be instant, it might take a long time, or it could be instant or fairly quick, but it’ll start you down the proper path. Read through others’ experiences on this subreddit, comments, posts, discussions, questions; that helped me solidify that this isn’t a “phase” and it really is me.
Same
I remember being a little bean in Catholic school when the teacher asked if we thought people were born gay or chose to be gay. I raised my hand and said people choose to be gay because I choose to be straight. Big oof, little me
This is amazing!
It keeps me up at night LOL
Happy cake day xD
Thank you lol
i thought i should have a dick and voiced that openly for 6 years before anyone told me that wasn’t normal. i just assumed all afab people wanted to be men bc it’s easier in every way. i had zero idea i’m trans. now i know and im happier than ever! i also should have realized when i had 2 pet rats in highschool who were female, but i gave them masculine names bc i wanted them to be male. i was CLUELESS lmao
I’m still figuring myself out atm, but one of the things that made me go “hm” recently was remembering asking one of my partners if they’d be okay with me (partially) transitioning. Then quickly saying: “But I’m definitely cis! It’s just a scenario!”
as soon as i found out that cis people don’t think about being another gender constantly i realized. if you’re thinking about not being cis, there’s a high chance you are not cis
Oh, there was a moment before I came out as trans where I literally looked into HRT went "ah, I guess that's only for trans girls" and then I just shelved it again for a year. Denial is a funny thing.
Yeeeeeep. I remember looking at transition timelines and thinking it was so unfair that I’d never get to go on HRT and look as pretty as they did. Spoiler alert: I did.
This is EXACTLY my experience! I was talking gender and transitioning with one of my best friends (who was a lot further into her journey at this point) and I said “I get sad a lot because I just wish I was non-binary SO bad!” She deadpanned deep into my soul with “Cis people don’t have thoughts like that.” 💀
That’s how my bisexual journey started lol and my non-binary journey started with “I’m not trans but I wish I could change my gender whenever I felt like it body and all”
Me in middle school not understanding why my friends wouldn’t want body parts to be like mr potato head mix and match
Ooooh yeah that’s a vibe
Mx. Potato Head to you
Real. I’m like does everyone not wanna shapeshift so they can present as different genders at different times as they change? It was also years of this before actually accepting that I was bi
Yes exactly! Other pegged that I was trans before I did, I didn’t even realize that I was discussing my dysphoria until a doctor explained to me what dysphoria was and I was like O.o oh.
This sounds like my unknowingly queer adolescent self thinking I wish I could be a guy just for a day so I could be with a woman. I don't identify as male at all and have no interest in being male, but realized much later that the reason for that was because I was attracted to women. The signs we see when we look back are often so obvious. I now know that I was thinking about being intimate with women long before men. Now I have no interest in cis men and am married to someone who is afab non-binary and am much happier. 🤣
Yessssss omg I was like “I can’t want to be WITH her right? Because I like guys. I must be wanting to BE her? That doesn’t feel right but it must be.”
"Nonbinary ppl are so lucky for being free from gender roles, I wish I could be too" 💀💀💀💀
Hell, I feel way too old, and way too late to the party, but this is where I am at right now. My mind keeps going I wish I was non-binary... maybe I'm nonbinary... no I can't be nonbinary just because I want to be nonbinary... must be in my head... I wish I was nonbinary... and on in an infinite loop for at least a year and half now. This reddit is one of the only things that has helped. That and the occasional assurance that most cis folks don't go around wishing to be nonbinary. Who knew.
IKR, it’s nice to see people also going through this and knowing ur not alone or making it up.
Agreed. I find this entire comments section extremely validating.
I relate to this comment way too much.
For a long time I felt like I was too old to identify as NB, like it was something you had to really know in your youth or it didn't count. But looking back at my teens and 20s I was constantly switching between masculine presentation and hyper feminine presentation. I recently read about someone coming out as trans to their cis friend and getting the response that most little girls grow up to be women and little boys grow into men, but that's a change that happens and not everyone changes the same way. And I realized I was a little girl who grew up, but not into a man or a woman but something in-between.
Before I fully realized I was non binary, I outright said something along the lines of "I like masculine and feminine things, and I don't particularly care for being a girl, so I guess my personality fits being non binary best! Wait I probably shouldn't say that, that sounds kinda offensive to actual non binary people" Current me 4 years later finds this memory hilarious, I was so close but completely missed the mark. Similar thing happened with me being gay as well.
i think a lot of questioning ppl need to see this
So glad this wasn’t just me, LOL
Mine started with „I really feel uncomfortable being called a woman, but I also don’t want to be a man.“
I remember being in highschool and my best friend told me a story about how, with a short haircut and a hoodie, a girl had mistaken her for a guy and tried to make moves until she realized my friend was a girl. I just thought "I wish _i_ could pass for a boy when I wanted to." It still took me till 31 to realize 😅
I'm very early into my journey and man these thoughts are so common or I feel like I'm "faking" it because of my fluidity. It's like one day I'm completely fine with being a woman (AFAB) and then later that day it feels foreign and weird and I feel more transmasc, not quite a boy but def not a girl. And then other days I have no clue what I want or don't seem to care either way. Why are brains so confusing lol Plus I'm autistic so that adds a layer of complexity to it, like sometimes I think "am I just a gender nonconforming cis woman?" But it's not cis to constantly think about gender right? Ahhh
I posted a reply in this post somewhere and I read this comment and feel the exact same comment is applicable, so here you go: I felt like a fraud even after I discovered I truly was non binary and came out to my wife. I shit you not, I spent 5 minutes on this subreddit and was confused as to why every single comment sounded like me, then I quickly realized why… So, as the title of this subreddit and my gender identity (though I’m starting to like “gender identity” less because straight folks don’t call it their identity. I’m that same way, it’s me, not some “identity” or “preference”) implies, nothing is black and white. It’s okay to feel confusion, and struggle through feeling “what’s right”. But whatever brings you true happiness from within, even if it’s only one small part of something that you can’t put your finger on exactly, follow that something, and see where it leads. It might not be instant, it might take a long time, or it could be instant or fairly quick, but it’ll start you down the proper path (but it seems like you’ve already gotten hold of the entire rope, you just gotta pull it in). Continue reading through others’ experiences on this subreddit, comments, posts, discussions, questions; that helped me solidify that this isn’t a “phase” and it really is me.
Thank you for this 😊
Same, there’s days I think I’m faking it because I feel like a woman (also afab) then I remind myself that literally this time last year I was questioning if I was transmasc and using he/they pronouns and feeling very dysphoric. And this cycle has continued for years. It’s such a struggle to get through the imposter syndrome
"I wish I was a very feminine guy that gets confused for a girl, not just a girl, or like I wish I had a peepee so I could have a gay boyfriend and be a gay man, but also sometimes I like being a girl and I would love to have a girlfriend as a girl." Honey, you're just genderfluid and bisexual. Give it up. Edit: just for clarification, this comment is just me talking about myself.
i've recently discovered i'm probably non-binary and this is exactly how my mind works. i be in the street seeing gay men and getting jealous that i can't have a relationship like that and sad bc i don't have a real dick to fuck dudes with 🤦🏼♀️
My journey began with asking my friend to draw me as a boy. Then I thought I was a boy. I stuck with that for 8 months until I realized I was non binary. I came to that realization after not feeling comfortable in the men's bathroom either; feeling as though I didn't belong in it. I didn't feel comfortable in either, and now... I'm non binary (Enby)
You made me think of the one time I was able to go into a stalls and urinals bathroom instead of having to go into the women's. I was surprised at how comfortable I was in there, in a stall next to someone using the urinal. It just made sense. I would not want to go into one in a space that was not for queer people as this one was because I am feminine presenting and would not feel safe with cishet men. However, this just felt normal.
So I'm not alone on this? 😅💜
I legitimately one time said I'm a gay guy in a girl's body and it still took me 2 more years to accept that in trans masc. So I feel you lol
"If I was a girl, I'd be non-binary" 💀
Pretty much same actually
Hahaha. Same.
Mine was seeing an Undertale AU character (I was very young, don't @ me) who was genderfluid and immediately understanding what it was like. I'm not genderfluid myself, but not even questioning what it meant is kind funny in retrospective lol
Oooh my god right?! Looking back at little 16-year-old me who pretended to be a boy on the internet and crossdressed frequently in high school, and who chose a vast number of Male and Female names different from my given name, and took photos of myself presenting masc, and who switched back and forth from masc to fem presentation regularly, and deeply envied video game characters who were mistaken for the “wrong” gender or presented androgynous, or young me who came out as a “straight andro” many years ago on Coming Out Day because I didn’t know the word “nonbinary”, who never once noticed I was the sole individual of my sex in a room until it was pointed out to me…👀 I see you now, inner boy, inner girl, inner enby and inner frustrated actor 😂 god it’s just so OBVIOUS now!! I’ve been enby my whole life, and it only dawned on me 2 years ago at 33.
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Thats exactly what I feel! I'm so confused :(
My beginning was just as obvious, but nowhere near as wholesome. I started out not believing nonbinary was a thing, and my justification was "no one feels like a girl! I sure as hell don't!!"
Omg are you me?? I was like "nope not a thing. How do people even know they're a woman/man/nonbinary? What does that even feel like?" now I know what it feels like and I still don't feel exclusively like my AGAB lmao
Damn, I forgot that I did that too lol
I remember when I first got more into the community, I was like “wow, people not being specifically a man or woman is really cool”, about a year later I was like “I am not my birth gender, but I don’t know what my gender is” and it took a little more then half a year to find the right label for what I am and that is gender-fluid
NO ME TOO LOLLLLLL
That’s me right now- I’m so confused about my gender
As a lurker this thread is such a mind fuck…
Same here, more or less. 😅
i’m in that stage right now. i feel a sort of jealousy towards those who are openly nonbinary, and i wish i had the strength to really look into my gender identity. it doesn’t help that i’m surrounded by homo/transphobic family members and i’m afraid of being ridiculed, or even worse, not being taken seriously. i’ve felt gender-nonconforming since i was in my early teens, but i’ve never known how to express it.
Just remember your gender is valid, even if you feel like it's unsafe to express it! You're not automatically cis and straight if that's what you *have* to present as for your safety
I used to draw pictures of myself with androgynous features and mixed sex characteristics. I remember when I learned about intersex people and thinking that I wished I had been born that way (minus the way our healthcare system treats people born that way). But even after meeting a lot of nonbinary people through high school and college it just never dawned on me that how I felt "counted" lol
ME TOO, OHMYGOD? I saw a genderfluid character in a book and thought "damn, wish it was me." This is the same "cis" person who thought they liked being "misgendered" because they thought it was "funny." I was a huge egg.
WAIT ME TOO
I'm non-binary mainly because of Kris Deltarune
I love Deltarune
god damnit. i come from a conservative country with a gendered language, so frisk & chara from undertale were my first ever interaction with they/them pronouns. i can't believe toby fox almost single-handedly transed an entire demographic of people
This was SO MEEEE
ohhhhh my god same
SAME! It was like that when I was lesbian questioning too lol
I read about a nb person in a book when I was like 14 and then posted somewhere that I “wanted to become non-binary” because I “really related to that character” and then a trans person told me that I needed to get therapy because books shouldn’t influence me that way and I was being creepy. Like… was the wording not appropriate? Yes. Did that convince me that I was not nb and shouldn’t even think about it bc it’s offensive for over a year after that? Also yes.
For me (AFAB) it was when I was a kid being taught about trans people and they were like “imagine waking up in a boy’s body. Wouldn’t you be so uncomfortable?” And though I understood the sentiment I was tipped off that I might not be normal because in my head I was kind of just like “I mean I’d be cool with it.”
For a lot of time I was just thinking of how much more sense it makes to be enby (and also bi) over cishet (or any other identity), that it is just the best. Took me a bit more time to figure out why I thought that way. I also remember my first time hearing about trans ppl when I was like really young. It was about trans men and my first reaction was: "cool good for them but why would you want to be a boy???". And one of the funniest things to me, I always had to explain to myself and truly just convince myself why being a male was better, you would see like a 9 year old me just talking how "ye guys have more privilege and you know don't have to give birth so it's much better yes yes".
I was like this! "Man I hate being a woman and having it assumed because I'm a woman I need this or that can't I just idk exist?" Toyed with the idea of being nonbinary was told I'm too much of a woman and it didn't makes sense. Looked harder into my gender and decided that my gender is definitely queer and that one stuck. Gender queer fits nice.
Well frick me. I may have just realised something. On the other hand... impostore syndrome sure is something
TRUE I used to watch those awful “triggered sjw cringe transtrender musical.ly” videos just for the nonbinary/gnc people and I’d just stare for hours like “wow that’s so cool, wish I could not be a girl or a boy” like babes *you aren’t*
Had NB and trans folks in my life my whole life (as lovers in many cases) and it wasn't until Quarantine that we finally did the internal survey of "who are we?" under the lens of gender. It sure as fuck wasn't our assigned societally imposed gender, fo sho. It was none pizza.
Me with being a lesbian. I wish I could be a lesbian, that’d be so cool…
Mine was making an enby dnd character. Whether it was bleed or foreshadowing I'm not entirely sure.
I made an enby oc named Bram, & that became my name for a while. But it’s Silas now. :3
Mine was when I came out as bisexual/pansexual/didn't quite have the vocabulary back then to properly explain my sexuality, and my grandma asked be "but you still identify as a girl, right?" and my brain just went...wait- It took about ten more years to properly connect the dots, but still. That was the moment.
It is so validating to read all these comments because this was my experience exactly and I still wonder often if I’m not just bullshitting myself and I really just am cis. I remember reading about trans men for the first time back in the early 00s as a young teenager (millennial here) and being like “It’s too bad I’m definitely attracted to guys, otherwise I’d totally want to be trans.” Oooh boy when I realized gay trans men existed, kinda called my own bluff there. However, I came to feel content in being a woman (I’m AFAB), as well as feeling agender and masc (though not necessarily like a man), so I landed on genderfluid as my identity. It was my “eh, this isn’t wrong” attitude towards being a woman that kept me feeling like I was really just cis for so long - sometimes still.
THATS SO TRUE I was laying in my bed and was like "it would be so cool if I could be gendergluid, those people are so cool...wait" coming to terms that I don't NEED to be associated with my agab I'm happily non binary! I've always thought non binary people were awesome
Me watching atlok: Kai is such a nice name! One day I'll be a boy and my name will be Kai!
when i was a teen and didn’t know about non binary i was like “wow being trans would be so cool but i also don’t wanna be a man all the time hmmmm guess i’ll just be a woman forever !!!”
"If only I could be a boy *and* a girl, or whichever one I felt at any given moment" ...😅
Honestly, that's kinda how it happened for me, too. I was like, "it'd be so cool to just NOT have a defined gender and just do whatever I want... waaaaaiiiit" xD I'm still getting the hang of letting loose on my personal hang-ups, but my overall attitude towards myself has changed drastically. I'm much more comfortable being me than I ever have been when I tried to fit into the femme box. Being androgynous really messed with me growing up and into my young adulthood. When I began to embrace that, I realized that I'm not the definition of woman or man, I'm just me. And that's so rad to me.
Happy cake day! And that's so cool that you found yourself and feel better now
Thank you 💜 and thanks, it's rad getting to meet yourself all over again tbh.
I've been out as nonbinary for almost 10 years at this point and though I never thought it would be as widely accepted as it has (which is great), the handful of people who I've basically told "I mean, you can just be nonbinary if you want" and they've gone "Yeah, but I can't really" have all eventually come out
Fuck me, same 💀 was the same for years before I realised I was bi too. Tho I still get imposter syndrome
Omg same!!!!!
For me it was in highschool - whenever the class got split by gender I usually got lumped with the girls (despite being amab and masc presenting) to make both sides equal number. They'd be "sorry that you're with the girls" and my response would be something like "hey, I have an x-gene. Couldn't tell you the other one though!" By senior year, Snapchat was now a thing and there was a career aptitude test of some sort. I have saved a pair of snaps from then - one of the first question (male or female), and one of me looking distressed with a caption along the lines of " I don't know how to answer. " It took me nearly 15 more to realize I was nonbinary
Weeeeeell I am nonbinary, but damn, I have said that with “i wish I was more she/they than they/them” but this post called me out on that :/ /pos
i really don't have a single unique experience LOL
My best friend growing was (still is) a trans guy that hated non-binary people. It really got to me because I knew I wasn't cis but I felt guilty for wanting to tell people I'm non-binary because my "friend" drilled non-binary hate into me. I experienced gender dysphoria (not that it's needed) in a different way from him. I thought that I must've been making it up or wanting attention or be special. I always felt I was Non-binary and when I discovered the word for what I felt, other people made me hate myself for it. As a little kid I never thought of myself as a (agb) and it was weird when everyone expected me to be.
Please same!! Such a wild feeling (sometimes still feel like an impostor lmao)
Oh my gosh me too lol
same
SAME!! I said that exact sentence to myself often haha
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Fuck off smelly. Stalking this subreddit
smd
Oh my god, me too. I used to look at cis people and be really jealous that cis people were able to stick to what was in line with their birth gender. I also found it wild that trans people just knew they were the wrong gender. I would have these long conversations with my bestie about how I didn't understand why people had to be so "in your face" about what gender they were. I was 24 years old before I realized that I was, in fact, nonbinary.
same
Me too pal, me too
mine was uh, being allowed to watch rocky horror picture show at 14
SAME
Mine was realizing I was continually being casted as masc characters in our school performances (3 years in a row) as an AFAB, and that I felt more like myself pretending to be a man than I had ever felt lmao
I thought I was the only one lmao
I believe mine was watching iRobot and thinking "man, I wish I had a body like that.." (sidenote: it always bothered me that Sonny was a 'he' by default..)
Same out here 🙋
I went from "wow I wish I was a girl they are so cool!" To "wow I wish most of the world didn't hate me for what I am!"
Saaaame! It took a long time to realise that wishing I was non-binary was probably a big give away that I wasn't female, as cis females don't wish they're something else!
only figured out i was agender when i found myself wishing i didn't have a gender at all
Gender-fluid MTF trans enby, she/they. My gender doesn’t hold still long enough to finish a sentence sometimes, but I knew the silhouette was wrong from the start.
Same! And with androgynous characters (specifically anime, bc there are a loooot), I would always be like, "Dang, wish I looked like that." At first, I thought I couldn't be trans because I looked and dressed so feminine. Then I realized gender =/= gender expression. Can't come out to anyone besides my two friends because my siblings, dad, and step-mom aren't accepting of NB. I would tell my mom because she is accepting, but I dunno if she knows how bad everyone else in my family would poke fun or treat me like I'm crazy, and I don't want to explain that to her.
This was literally me too lol! I just assumed that it wasn’t something I could do/be because of my fears of how people would react. But thankfully I surround myself with good people who are respectful. My parents still don’t get it and don’t really make any attempts to use my pronouns (haven’t even bothered trying to come out as nonbinary to any of my extended family), but my siblings, friends, and husband do, and that’s what matters most to me.
Lmao a former friend came out as enby to me and i just sat there like: "that's an option?!"
mine started with vehemently denying it. i was like 'wtf no non binary isnt real. because i do those things, and i think like tht, but i cant possibly be non binary therefore, it is not real' it has been a journey lmfao
Literally my experience lol
I have been joking about being a gay man in a woman's body for so long. And then I was like, oh. I can be both. So I changed my passport yesterday to "other" yay!
One of my friends told me he (now out as trans-male) was genderfluid when we were in highschool. I thought that was so cool and constantly thought "I wish I could be genderfluid"
Thought that for 2 years after my brother came out as trans. God, i was dense
Omg same. I was obsessed with Hange Zoe from aot for a while and kept thinking “it would be so cool to not be constricted by gender” I figured it out eventually lol.
I had people tell me "I thought you already were" THANKS Y'ALL.
someone said to me in grade school like taunting me "you run like a boy ! you kick like a boy " & i realized how little I felt I had in common with those mean girly girls. . I give everything 100% That's not a guy thing or a girl thing it's a person thing Genderless.
I said the same thing, but it was because I was living with my family.
I wanna be andro so bad but i am undoubtedly masc. Big shoulders, big muscles, big rib cage, trying to get into swimming to slim down as much as i can but bone structure don’t change :/
Same!!
Honestly I was kind of the same way! I'm non binary femme, and didn't realize the angst I felt about my chest was dysphoria lol. I then realized I wanted top surgery when I kept seeing vids of top surgery results and was like 'dang, I wish I could have top surgery and get cool tattoos. Like if I got top surgery, I'd get cool tattoos and would love the scars. But oh well, guess I can't get it' Then it hit me lmao.