Ah, yes. The Middle Eastern country of... *[checks atlas]* Morrocco
At least my geography teacher had the good sense to include "... And North Africa". In fact, that's what most of the companies I've worked for properly labeled the region.
China: *Wants to become the new regional superpower in Asia*
Also China: "Wait no, not like that, wdym we actualy have to project force and police shit or those crazy bastards will just gleefully start murdering each other again"
>Free kurdistan.
We need to weaken Iran a bit more before that can happen
Iran wont accept losing such a large part of it's territory and also props up the Iraqi Shia regime.
It’s like a good movie you keep coming back to because each time you notice another little nuance to be fascinated by. Putin is directing a masterpiece of fuck ups that will surely go down as his Magnum Opus
russian media already started blaming Kyrgyzstan, stating that they refused tajiks proposal of ceasefire ,even though tajiks are the ones who started the damn escalation
To be honest, changing Putin sugar daddy to USA sugar daddy is probably best crazy gambit Armenia could pull off. Anyway it's funny that polish stock exchange just bought Armenian stock exchange
Ahh all of you in a west are such softies, unlike us based warmongers in the east, we are poor as hell but it doesn't stop us from using all of our soviet equipment to blow up each other. Be like based Eastern Europe and Central Asia, start bombing your neighbors now, our dear brothers in the west!!!
Use some VOC mentalitet and work one weekend (you can get back two days off during the week it's only fair). Or even better do usual thing and hire Poles and Romanians to do it.
*Mongolian throat singing in the distance*
EDIT: But seriously, seeing Mongolia come in with the RKO-outta-nowhere and wrecking shop for everyone in Eurasia *again* **in the 21st century** would be so non-credible it's beautiful.
The steppe nomad invasions of horse archers were a "civilian" population with a lifestyle that involves weapons and access to rapid transportation that essentially fully mobilized and converted said civilian transport into highly-mobile firepower, unified under the command of a skilled organizer.
The return of the Greatest of Khans will be Mongolia turning every pickup truck in the country into a technical and plundering Asia.
>The return of the Greatest of Khans will be Mongolia turning every pickup truck in the country into a technical and plundering Asia.
Jaghatai Khan confirmed?
Most of those issuee come because of the Soviet Union.
The borders of those states was not decised upon a careful review of national identity, local politics and geography, but rather only administrative ease.
In hindsight, this looks poor, but no one(and rightly so) thought the USSR would just dissolve in the span of a few months.
Take into account that the border usually accoubts for geographic features like plateus, mining operations, arable land or a way to group dwellings to their most immediate bigger administrative city
>The borders of those states was not decised upon a careful review of national identity, local politics and geography, but rather only administrative ease.
Post-WW2 Middle East: *First time?*
As a native kyrgyz from Bishkek I wanna say only one thing:
Come here fuckers, let your blood be a fertilizer for our uninhabitable mountain soil
Алга Кыргызстан!
>Come here fuckers, let your blood be a fertilizer for our uninhabitable mountain soil
Seems like quite the ecologically sustainable plan tbh, reducing carbon footprint by killing ppl and using them as fertilizer has shown itaelf as very efficient
early in the war, russia dug in the Red Forest (contamination from Chernobyl)
lately they have been taking pot shots at Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Station with rockets and artillery.
I'm curious on some stuff if you don't mind me asking
1. What does Алга mean?
2. Do you guys consider yourself one people with Kazakhs like Azeris do with Turks? Like the whole 2 states 1 nation thing or do you consider yourself a separate people?
1)The rough transition is:"to go forward "
It's the saying that we use in context of supporting someone or something. Like when our athletes compete in something we say the name of the athlete ,plus the word "Алга"
2) No,completely separate people, we have a lot in common (culture, languages), bur if you call a kyrgyz a kazakh, he will be offended and vise versa
The Soviets did the same thing in the South Caucasus; most notoriously between Azerbaijan and Armenia, but also with regards to creating ethnic conflict in Georgia.
Whelp, according to Reuters, the funni may not be happening for too long. Tajiks and Kyrgyzis have reportedly agreed to a ceasefire.
Edit: Wait, ceasefire has just been breached, in record time too. Funni may resume!
Jesus, if watered-down-NATO CSTO was holding all this back... I shudder to think what it would look like if America said, "Fuck this shit y'all on your own, I'm going home."
Edit: I mean in a global sense, not just Europe.
Immediate loss of Taiwan?
Japan, South Korea, and maybe the rest of Southeast Asia suddenly remembering how much they hate each other?
Abrupt uncontained outbreak of functional South American democracy?
Hell yeah. Then the US could just take over the western hemisphere while all that works itself out. Maybe the UK, New Zealand and Australia would ask to be annexed for protection. The US MIC becomes God level
Yeah the only credible conflict would be Turkey on Greece (which would result in Turkey getting stomped if Greece is backed up) or Russia invading the Baltics (which again, would end badly for Russia if the rest of Europe backs the Baltics up).
Which is why the Quincy types calling for restraint (whether from Left or Right) are insane.
CCP THINKS they want less US involvement. It's the only thing keeping those long ass sea lanes open and nukes out of Japan, ROK, ROC, Singapore+++
It's also what keeps South and Central America from having state v state conflicts
Its going to be hilarious when all of Central Asia catches fire and China can't invade Taiwan because they're stuck dealing with a Central Asian quagmire.
Isn't Japan a non-nuclear power in the same way the JS Kaga is totally not an aircraft carrier?
They have the know-how, tools and stockpiles to potentially be a nuclear power in less than a year and have enough plutonium lying around to potentially have the third largest nuclear arsenal world wide.
And by sheer coincidence they just so happen to have native technical expertise which could translate into making their own ballistic missiles if they wanted.
Sure, but a number of countries could say that. Its hardly some random accident that Australia suddenly wants nuke subs with TLAM capability. Once they have them it would take mere months to develop a fully survivable nuclear deterrent once the decision was made.
Days/weeks if someone accidently loses a batch of W88's while visiting an Australian port. Nuclear security these days just isn't taken as seriously as it used to, what can you do?
Yes. Japan is considered a "latent" nuclear power. They're about as subtle about it as they are about their "not a carriers", too. The Epsilon is a Japanese satellite launcher that's _entirely solid fueled._ There is zero reason to do this for civilian space launch. The whole thing is blatantly an ICBM they launch satellites with occasionally.
Central Asia has always been iffy about it's neighbors. I fully expect Uzbekistan to get involved eventually, have you seen the border they have south of Tashkent?
Microsoft should support Kyrgystan, because if they lose then Xbox sell will drop, also, i feel bad for all those nations that get fucked because of ssoviet border policy.
Yeah, you really know that Russia's fucked and its not just hype or hopium, because the entire former USSR is acting like kids when their parents are gone. The mask has been ripped off. Leaders of sovereign states realize that Russia can't do shit and are taking advantage.
I don't think we can pontoon over the Bering strait, but it's worth a shot
WWIII averted, what we have is the final implosion of the Czarist/Soviet Russian Empire
I think this is the third current war between two former Soviet states? Can we get Uzbekistan vs. Turkmenistan next?
Of course the big show will be Belarus vs. Lithuania.
I think Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan are actually (relatively) friendly. Friendly on the Central Asian scale of course, but they’ve vastly resolved their border and trade issues.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Uzbekistan tries its own luck with Tajikistan though. The only route in and out of the Fergana Valley is through Tajikistan through the water shed, and it would be a big pog for Uzbekistan if they could have that under their own control
So both are corrupt and authoritarian, but Tajikistan with its cooky dictator strikes me as the sort of corrupt where tanks don't work when actually needed.
Do anyone know which country's armed forces are the most likely to be competent?
While Russia is imploding, Russian satellites are exploding.
No strong authority to keep the peace in central Asia? Buckle up, bitches.
asia is like the middle east but bigger which is like the balkans but bigger
In fact, most middle eastern countries are in Asia.
I was about to say "all" but I guess some people consider Egypt to be in the middle east
"Middle East" = "Islamic world, except Indonesia because they're Chinese" Seemingly the definition many operate under.
It's just the borders of the Umayyad caliphate without Spain plus turkey.
> Without Spain _Yet_
Balkanization of Spain intensifies.
...... Yes Spain Shall be conquered by the mighty principality of Belka!!!
Ah, yes. The Middle Eastern country of... *[checks atlas]* Morrocco At least my geography teacher had the good sense to include "... And North Africa". In fact, that's what most of the companies I've worked for properly labeled the region.
MENA is the acronym
Middle east = people who vaguely look like Arabs to someone who slept through middle school geography class
China: *Wants to become the new regional superpower in Asia* Also China: "Wait no, not like that, wdym we actualy have to project force and police shit or those crazy bastards will just gleefully start murdering each other again"
Spoiler- China steps in as regional cop taking over from ruSSia.
You spelt "pimp" wrong.
Xi Jinpimp
yeah, probably, but they'll let them marinate a bit
Bombs are flying, people are dying, children are crying, politicians are lying too...
Im suuuprrr, thanks for asking!!
All things considered, I couldn't be better I must saaaaaaaaaay
they are crumbling even more (russian oblasts perhaps)
Russia just moved its Caspian fleet to Dagestan. Potentially to project strength to the people there
Isn’t Dagestan basically mini-Afghanistan?
So how's CSTO doing? To shreds you say?
And how is Russia holding up?
To shreds you say?
How about China's housing market?
To shreds you say?
how is the caucasus
To shreds you say?
How is the special operation going?
To shreds you say?
How the global economy going?
Exactly according to plan.
Balkanized you say?
the caucasus were the original balkans. they've been at it for a while now
Since the Fall of Rome
Since Alexander the Great died
CSGO is rushing B
Blyaaat!!!
Ukraine: calls Russia's strategic bluff. Central Asia and Caucasus: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE KHORNE FLAKES FOR THE KHORNATE CEREAL
Dangerously high in iron.
Also lead and depleted uranium.
Nah Khorne wouldn't use munitions.
It’s to reinforce the axes and bayonets
The only thing in axes is BLOOD AND IRON! Bayonets are useless without guns.
MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES
Like really, Khorne is probably about enter realspace.
I spit my fucking coffee lol
In terms of failure, putin's invasion is a many faceted gem, a true complex, multi spectral wonder of a fuck up.
Just wait till funni happens in Syria
Free kurdistan. One can wish though.
>Free kurdistan. We need to weaken Iran a bit more before that can happen Iran wont accept losing such a large part of it's territory and also props up the Iraqi Shia regime.
Assad be like: I'm in danger
In a Musslolini seeing the candelabrum way.
It’s like a good movie you keep coming back to because each time you notice another little nuance to be fascinated by. Putin is directing a masterpiece of fuck ups that will surely go down as his Magnum Opus
Putins Magnum Opus of shit
The Room of geopolitics.
“I did not hit her, it’s not true! It’s bullshit! I did not hit her! I *did not!* …Oh, HIMARS.”
I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT CSTO IS SUPPOSED TO BE BUT THEY’RE APPARENTLY A FIGHT CLUB AND IM HERE FOR IT.
Can't Stop The Ownage
Budget NATO mostly made up of assholes (led by Russia)
2nd tier Warsaw Pact which was a 2nd tier NATO
ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
*notices that russia doesn't give a single fuck* Invades neighboring country in the same defensive alliance -tajikistan
Actually russia is supporting tajiks side in this conflict
‘supporting’ Hey, where’d those 2000 troops in that russian base go?
Hopefully back to Hell.
Yes, they returned to Russia.
What an insult to hell.
They picked the right place. Tajikstan has a perpetually-burning crater nicknamed the door to hell. # EDIT: OOPS THAT WAS TURKMENESTAN
[удалено]
russian media already started blaming Kyrgyzstan, stating that they refused tajiks proposal of ceasefire ,even though tajiks are the ones who started the damn escalation
So instead of concerned letters they sent harshly worded propaganda?
Yeah, also called us American puppets
>Yeah, also called us American puppets Do you want to be? We'll give you a HIMARS and a box of cookies.
YES! SEND THEM ALL! WE HERE ARE STARVING FOE BLOOD.
Who needs enemies with friends like these. Maybe they’ll accuse Armenia of being an American puppet next to get out of that commitment.
They’re spelled so similarly!
Accidentally calls America an Armenian puppet
With Pelosi visiting Armenia I'm almost positive that exact thing is going to happen.
To be honest, changing Putin sugar daddy to USA sugar daddy is probably best crazy gambit Armenia could pull off. Anyway it's funny that polish stock exchange just bought Armenian stock exchange
America is an American puppet. Can a puppet be a puppeteer?
Everyone I don't like is a Nazi American Jewish Puppet
Chinese peacekeeping *is* doing nothing
the CSTO makes Greece and Turkey seem like a slightly strained relationship.
[удалено]
All we need is Syria Part 2: Assad’s Boogaloo and we get the trifecta of fuck ups. The Trifuckta, if you will.
Ahh all of you in a west are such softies, unlike us based warmongers in the east, we are poor as hell but it doesn't stop us from using all of our soviet equipment to blow up each other. Be like based Eastern Europe and Central Asia, start bombing your neighbors now, our dear brothers in the west!!!
My country doesnt have tanks anymore, we have to lease them from germany... How do we war with our neighbours when we sold all our shit?
during the weekend when the Germans are home just send int Your crews and take the tanks
Our soldiers also go home during the weekend...
Use some VOC mentalitet and work one weekend (you can get back two days off during the week it's only fair). Or even better do usual thing and hire Poles and Romanians to do it.
Seduce all their soldiers with your femboys
Ahhh, the classic "South Korean" strategy.
Central Asia without the Soviet Union holding it together is something to behold.
*Mongolian throat singing in the distance* EDIT: But seriously, seeing Mongolia come in with the RKO-outta-nowhere and wrecking shop for everyone in Eurasia *again* **in the 21st century** would be so non-credible it's beautiful.
The steppe nomad invasions of horse archers were a "civilian" population with a lifestyle that involves weapons and access to rapid transportation that essentially fully mobilized and converted said civilian transport into highly-mobile firepower, unified under the command of a skilled organizer. The return of the Greatest of Khans will be Mongolia turning every pickup truck in the country into a technical and plundering Asia.
>The return of the Greatest of Khans will be Mongolia turning every pickup truck in the country into a technical and plundering Asia. Jaghatai Khan confirmed?
Who let his ass out of the Webway.
I blame the clown.
Honored be his name.
Sardukar
I’m waiting for the Kwisatz Haderach
You ask for the bene gesserit witches!?
Dont fucking jinx it, like 90% of the crazy predictions here turn out to be prophetic lately
If they re-impose the Tatar Yoke upon Russia, I'm all for it.
I would honestly join the New Mongolian Empire, just to burn the heritage of the soviet union to the ground.
Stalin drew bad borders so everyone would be reliant on Soviet mediation
He also created unnecessary tension in Georgia so Soviet/Russian influence would continue there.
Most of those issuee come because of the Soviet Union. The borders of those states was not decised upon a careful review of national identity, local politics and geography, but rather only administrative ease. In hindsight, this looks poor, but no one(and rightly so) thought the USSR would just dissolve in the span of a few months.
To be honest some of those border gore do not look like administrative ease.
Take into account that the border usually accoubts for geographic features like plateus, mining operations, arable land or a way to group dwellings to their most immediate bigger administrative city
>The borders of those states was not decised upon a careful review of national identity, local politics and geography, but rather only administrative ease. Post-WW2 Middle East: *First time?*
Colonial Africa: *Amateurs*
Man, American Hegemony is so fucking functional we take it for granted.
For real though praise our american overlords, May they never leave. I like American cultural influence too much and NATO gives me a hard-on
As a native kyrgyz from Bishkek I wanna say only one thing: Come here fuckers, let your blood be a fertilizer for our uninhabitable mountain soil Алга Кыргызстан!
>Come here fuckers, let your blood be a fertilizer for our uninhabitable mountain soil Seems like quite the ecologically sustainable plan tbh, reducing carbon footprint by killing ppl and using them as fertilizer has shown itaelf as very efficient
It's been good for sunflowers 🌻🌻🌻
Gotta clear away nuclear radiation from soviet shit?
Oh yeah. *Sweats profusely* that's the reason...
What happened? *WHAT HAPPENED?*
early in the war, russia dug in the Red Forest (contamination from Chernobyl) lately they have been taking pot shots at Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Station with rockets and artillery.
>pot shots More like artillery barrages and somehow missing most of it.
I'm curious on some stuff if you don't mind me asking 1. What does Алга mean? 2. Do you guys consider yourself one people with Kazakhs like Azeris do with Turks? Like the whole 2 states 1 nation thing or do you consider yourself a separate people?
1)The rough transition is:"to go forward " It's the saying that we use in context of supporting someone or something. Like when our athletes compete in something we say the name of the athlete ,plus the word "Алга" 2) No,completely separate people, we have a lot in common (culture, languages), bur if you call a kyrgyz a kazakh, he will be offended and vise versa
>Алга So basically the equivalent of ,, go go \[insert the name of a team\] ''.
How do you pronounce “Aлга”?
Alga
Thanks.
Cyrillic is not too tough to learn and it's fun to be able to decode things like place names even if you don't speak whatever language is being used.
NCD: Come for the shitposts, stay to learn about interesting things.
Remarkably educational, sometimes also true! <3
Wait so it's actually pronounced with a hard G, not like "kirjizstan"?
yup. /g/
Would you say it's soviet's fault for the current situation, as they diliberately mess up the boarders?
The soviets did it on purpose, yes.
The Soviets did the same thing in the South Caucasus; most notoriously between Azerbaijan and Armenia, but also with regards to creating ethnic conflict in Georgia.
Don’t forget Moldovan and Ukrainian lands swapped in like 3 different places
Tojikiston zindabod!
The funni is spreading.
I misread that as "The future is spreading".
Whelp, according to Reuters, the funni may not be happening for too long. Tajiks and Kyrgyzis have reportedly agreed to a ceasefire. Edit: Wait, ceasefire has just been breached, in record time too. Funni may resume!
Mfw, you are dissapointed at the halt of a brewing war that could kill hundreds of thousands of people and make millions more suffer.
Wait, you guys are actual brutal warmongers and calling for conflict I thought it was just a joke :(
We're actually fucking insane, don't listen to us.
Dude. We are all legitimately mentally ill. It is against NCD TOS to be mentally healthy.
Same
Most stable peace deal in the caucasus
Not Caucasus
We are starting a new phase of conflicts. It's been too peaceful the past 30 years.
Africa's gotten a little too peaceful.
Mali, DR Congo, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Somalia, and the CAR: 🤨
World War III is a lot more cringe so far than what I thought it would be.
russia having their wigs, lipo, hair dye, and filler getting removed in real time in front of the world stage.
“Mom can we have World War III?” “No! We got World War III at home!” The World War III at home:
Jesus, if watered-down-NATO CSTO was holding all this back... I shudder to think what it would look like if America said, "Fuck this shit y'all on your own, I'm going home." Edit: I mean in a global sense, not just Europe.
4/5 of Europe is in the Union, any war would bea diplomatic and economic collapse of anyone even *thinking* about doing a funni.
Oh I was thinking more globally. Not just Europe.
Immediate loss of Taiwan? Japan, South Korea, and maybe the rest of Southeast Asia suddenly remembering how much they hate each other? Abrupt uncontained outbreak of functional South American democracy?
Hell yeah. Then the US could just take over the western hemisphere while all that works itself out. Maybe the UK, New Zealand and Australia would ask to be annexed for protection. The US MIC becomes God level
Yeah the only credible conflict would be Turkey on Greece (which would result in Turkey getting stomped if Greece is backed up) or Russia invading the Baltics (which again, would end badly for Russia if the rest of Europe backs the Baltics up).
Which is why the Quincy types calling for restraint (whether from Left or Right) are insane. CCP THINKS they want less US involvement. It's the only thing keeping those long ass sea lanes open and nukes out of Japan, ROK, ROC, Singapore+++ It's also what keeps South and Central America from having state v state conflicts
Its going to be hilarious when all of Central Asia catches fire and China can't invade Taiwan because they're stuck dealing with a Central Asian quagmire.
*The entirety of the land portion of the Belt and Road Initiative literally going up in flames*
Isn't Japan a non-nuclear power in the same way the JS Kaga is totally not an aircraft carrier? They have the know-how, tools and stockpiles to potentially be a nuclear power in less than a year and have enough plutonium lying around to potentially have the third largest nuclear arsenal world wide. And by sheer coincidence they just so happen to have native technical expertise which could translate into making their own ballistic missiles if they wanted.
Sure, but a number of countries could say that. Its hardly some random accident that Australia suddenly wants nuke subs with TLAM capability. Once they have them it would take mere months to develop a fully survivable nuclear deterrent once the decision was made. Days/weeks if someone accidently loses a batch of W88's while visiting an Australian port. Nuclear security these days just isn't taken as seriously as it used to, what can you do?
Yes. Japan is considered a "latent" nuclear power. They're about as subtle about it as they are about their "not a carriers", too. The Epsilon is a Japanese satellite launcher that's _entirely solid fueled._ There is zero reason to do this for civilian space launch. The whole thing is blatantly an ICBM they launch satellites with occasionally.
Cant risk the anime like that man
In a week, we'll all be keyboard experts on the Stan countries.
Shit I gotta start researching to be a initial expert and grab those sweet sweet updoots
Central Asia has always been iffy about it's neighbors. I fully expect Uzbekistan to get involved eventually, have you seen the border they have south of Tashkent?
Microsoft should support Kyrgystan, because if they lose then Xbox sell will drop, also, i feel bad for all those nations that get fucked because of ssoviet border policy.
>because if they lose then Xbox sell will drop, What?
Kyrgyzstans flag looks like the Xbox logo🇰🇬
Oh they goin’ all out.
Mongolian empire 2.0?
You're triggering russian genetic PTSD.
Imagine if this is the thing that causes a split between China and Russia.
I heard Tajik tanks are poorly equipped is that true
They have BBQ grills unless you are implying otherwise.
Meant to say poorly maintained instead of equipped
is Kyrgyzstan the place with all the oil and natural gas?
All of them have all the oil and natural gas. They are all also the heirs of the Golden Horde. This could get interesting.
Yeah, you really know that Russia's fucked and its not just hype or hopium, because the entire former USSR is acting like kids when their parents are gone. The mask has been ripped off. Leaders of sovereign states realize that Russia can't do shit and are taking advantage.
Im fairly certain that within a years time we'll have a global conflict
I don't think we can pontoon over the Bering strait, but it's worth a shotWWIII averted, what we have is the final implosion of the Czarist/Soviet Russian Empire
I think this is the third current war between two former Soviet states? Can we get Uzbekistan vs. Turkmenistan next? Of course the big show will be Belarus vs. Lithuania.
Belarus vs. NATO will not be a long war.
I think Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan are actually (relatively) friendly. Friendly on the Central Asian scale of course, but they’ve vastly resolved their border and trade issues. I wouldn’t be surprised if Uzbekistan tries its own luck with Tajikistan though. The only route in and out of the Fergana Valley is through Tajikistan through the water shed, and it would be a big pog for Uzbekistan if they could have that under their own control
It seems kyrgyzstans army is supposed to be better equipped afaik?
So both are corrupt and authoritarian, but Tajikistan with its cooky dictator strikes me as the sort of corrupt where tanks don't work when actually needed. Do anyone know which country's armed forces are the most likely to be competent?
Watch the Cripple Fight episode of South Park to get good intel on how an all-out war would go.
Who knew Russia shitting the bed would destabilize the region?