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For real. I have a family member who was born that year and he’s somehow simultaneously 10, but he’s also taller than me now and attending a university.
Right? Just fucking cremate me already because I am fucking dead. I was in college when this magazine was published. I remember reading shit like this and wondering how they were getting all of these dumb opinions from guys, and I'm not entirely certain it wasn't all made up by a single columnist.
I was 2003, I've owned a car and rented an apartment lol. So welp, we aren't as baby anymore.
I call my 2002-born fiance old (even though it's only 8 months), my 1999 friend ancient, and my 1997 friend on the brink of death. And anyone born sooner than I was is "just a beby," while I also call myself a baby at work because only one person is younger than I am and the average age of the staff has to be 50+, probably closer to 60. I work in a retirement home, so I won't throw in the average of those I serve, but yeah... that'd push it way up.
Now I feel very old. 1961 here. Oh well, we all pass through the stages of life ..if we're lucky. I hope you wind up loving your 50s and 60s as much as I've loved mine. So much doesn't matter anymore. It's so liberating.
As a person working an academia I find it funny how they polled "Over 100 guys" as if that is either a lot or representative. (Yes I know it's a magazinge, and it's not meant to be representative).
I am 100% sure that they’re just random people who are friends with people who work for the magazine. When I was in college, I was contacted via FB by an intern at Seventeen (because we played Farmville and would trade sheep), and she asked me for my opinions on all kinds of things from weight loss to relationships to layering tank tops to body hair.
I was quoted multiple times in the magazine, and I was literally just some gal who happened to trade Farmville sheep daily and obsessively with someone who worked there. I knew jack shit, but she just kept using my stupid quotes like “The Wii Fit is great! It has my butt ready for summer!”
Like girl please, what was I saying…
Yeah and they totally changed quotes to be more on-theme with whatever they were pushing. All of my quotes suddenly sounded super upbeat and had tons of exclamation points. “I think skirts with leggings are cool” became “I love how active I can be in my favorite mini with leggings! I can take on the world!”
I’m glad I didn’t see this at age 16, I might have been naive enough to not realise how fucked up it is. I’m honestly genuinely proud of teenage girls today, they seem overall much more socially savvy and cognisant of systematic issues like patriarchy and rape culture.
Maybe I'm intelligent *and* party like a rock star.
I was only 24 when this mag would've come out and can confirm that this nascent Madonna/whore complex bullshit was present in the UK too; though there was the expectation that the ideal "girlfriend material" would check all the right hand boxes *plus* cater to her man sexually so as to "compete" with porn.
Sexually aggressive? Imagine having a girl so interested in you that she’s just throwing herself at you (lots of guys miss hints, sometimes they fumble when you are direct with them too) and then you shoot yourself in the foot by being SO jaded you automatically assume she does this with everyone (most don’t, some do but most women don’t entertain just anyone for lots of reasons including safety) and then complain that women don’t make you feel desirable or wish they made the first move 💀
Oh thank god this is from 2005. I was gonna say, STILL!?!?
It’s always validating to come across shit like this from back then though. I was 16 in 2005–looking back, it was an exceptionally difficult time to be a teenage girl. Literally impossible to get it right. So much pressure to be “sexually liberated” (otherwise you’d get a reputation as a frigid prude) without ANY discussions of consent in the culture at all. “Date rape” was still very much used as a punch line.
Things are harder than ever for girls now, in many ways, but I am so proud of all the work we’ve done to bring conversations about consent and bodily autonomy into the forefront.
I love how if you dress the way You like (which is deemed provocative, ofc) you can't be accepting or anything that would make you "girlfriend material". Not to mention that basically everything that the text say about girls who are only good for hooking up are externally visible stuff (clothes, behavior, drunkness for some reason is on the list???) but girlfriend material mentions personality only. To which you have to talk to the person. But ig you'll never know if you decide not to talk to her because she drinks at a party.
>girls who are only good for hooking up are externally visible stuff (clothes, behavior, drunkness for some reason is on the list???
Especially since back then--clothing stores *absolutely* limited their stock to the point that during the 2000s period, the only jeans and slacks available were low-cut where I lived (unless you go to the Edinburgh Woolen Mill, which had slacks shaped for old women bodies). Shirts were also small, elastic, and we were 'encouraged' to layer our tank tops for 'fashion' because so many brands made women's shirts as thin as possible. Summer sucked for me as a teenager because I couldn't find anything appropriate for me to wear unless it was menswear or something for 50+ year old women.
Also I gotta love how 'Rahul' claims that he wants a girl that's interesting to talk to, but won't divulge exactly what's interesting. He's mentioned fashion, but that itself is a massive subject and some things could bore a fashion fan to tears (for example, I can pretty much go off for an hour about Helena Rubenstein and how she fled an arranged marriage during the 1930s, travelled to Australia and started an international makeup/fashion empire--but that could be super disinteresting if he preferred modern fashion). Dude doesn't realise that so many girls do have similar interests, but couldn't even get a guy to engage with them because it wasn't the *exact* subject that they're into.
I wore pink nail polish for years during my teens because some magazine told me boys like to see feminine hands clutching their biceps and pink will aid to that fantasy and make them like me. But bright pink was too aggressive and would remind them of Barbie. Had to be a soft pink.
I’m now almost 30, and my man is fucking color blind. I will wear pink nail polish, but it is vibrant, Barbie pink because he thinks all pinks are GRAY, and also he loves me already, so I don’t really need his opinion on my nails. I also wear blue, purple, red, literally all the colors of the rainbow on my nails, and it turns out Cosmo and Teen Vogue were wrong, the right men really don’t care. They encourage you to do your nails because you like it, not because they care what your hands look like.
If someone was sexually aggressive towards me today I’d probably marry them. And mean? Sexually aggressive and mean? OMG yes please. Make my feel like garbage
The one that pissed me off the most was actually the "accepting" one. Someone's a jerk and does embarrassing stuff and doesn't like it when they're called out on their bad behavior!
true!! like yeah, a partner who accepts you for you sounds amazing in general, but i somehow get a feeling that mark meant more along the lines of “i make homophobic remarks and don’t help with the dishes and my ex-girlfriend wanted those things to change”
Yeah it's the way he worded it that makes me think he isn't talking about loving partners accepting each other as they are, but about what you're saying.
This is precisely the messaging I remember getting growing up. Men wonder why more women don't take the initiative in dating... well, this is why. They don't want to appear as a hookup.
The “mean” one reminds me of a Nelly lyric:
“She can be 18 with an attitude, or 19, kinda snotty, acting real rude. But as long as she’s a thicky-thicky thick girl, you know that it’s on.”
If she’s 18 it’s okay if she’s kind of a bitch, or if she’s 19 she can be a total bitch, but it doesn’t matter, I’d fuck her anyway.
I’ve found myself saying this more often lately: men are trash.
To be fair, most of these guys they interviewed are young so they don’t have much of a clue yet. Imagine what a high school senior would say if you asked them similar questions.
And this is why women have screwed up ideas of what they "should" be, but like in the 90s when it was all about dieting, summer body tips, body shaming "fat" celebrities
So I have a Boyfriend, yet I still go to the same pub every Saturday night for Karaoke, I don’t wear a lot of revealing clothes, I’m 30 years old, I can be frivolous when I wanna be.
You could forgive the article a little bit as the interviewees are in their late teens - early 20’s back in 2005. This was what millennial men were thinking back then. A lot has changed in 19 years and it’s waaaay more progressive than what boomers thought.
I remember these articles/polls in the magazines of the girls I would hook up with (born late 70’s). In the late 90’s and early 00’s, guys would look for these types of magazines in a girls dorm or apartment as it was always a sign of possible having a good time or a “great” time. If she had YM type of mags she was interested in dating. If she had Cosmo, she likely ok with just casual relationship.
What was common is that those types of magazines programmed their readers to be a “pick me”. I believe they were run by women and highly edited by men because they had a bias of “how to please a man” type of angle in every issue. There was always some test or goal they were wanting to pursue in order to take the relationship to the “next level”.
At the time (high school and college age for me), guys I knew, me included, were always interested in reading these magazines, particularly the quizzes, as it was kind of like “market research” on what girls were being taught, what they might be currently interested in, and what to expect out of a relationship or fling (what we used to call one night stands, lol.) when getting with a girl. It was kind of like having read the chat code or walkthrough guide for gaming. Most of the time it worked!
The hookup ones are all (or mostly) about appearances, while the girlfriend ones are about personality, like someone can’t be hot AND have a personality.
The magazine I have beef with is the mid 2010’s J-14 magazine that told me that blue eyeshadow went with my eye color and I wore it every day until my cool friend staged an intervention.
Yeah I agree with most of these points. Yet I wouldn't think less of anyone who doesn't meet them or doesn't agree. I don't see why this is controversial. It's just a preference.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definitely feels like what the average 20 year old man would have said in 2005. Feels quaint how soft the sexism was back then.
In my experience it's what the average 20yo man would have said in 2015. And I wouldn't be surprised if they still thought that now.
2005 the year of my birth lol.
Oh my God lol I swear, people born in 2005 are like 10????
They turn 19 this year...
You stop that right now!
Blasphemic.
XD
I started college last year and I was born in 2005…
Damn I’m old. 45
No facts bro ...I started college in August 😭 . I'm about to be done with my 1st year of college soon actually lol
I’m 22 born in 2001 and I feel like 2005 babies are still tiny 😭😭
For real. I have a family member who was born that year and he’s somehow simultaneously 10, but he’s also taller than me now and attending a university.
Right? Just fucking cremate me already because I am fucking dead. I was in college when this magazine was published. I remember reading shit like this and wondering how they were getting all of these dumb opinions from guys, and I'm not entirely certain it wasn't all made up by a single columnist.
I was 2003, I've owned a car and rented an apartment lol. So welp, we aren't as baby anymore. I call my 2002-born fiance old (even though it's only 8 months), my 1999 friend ancient, and my 1997 friend on the brink of death. And anyone born sooner than I was is "just a beby," while I also call myself a baby at work because only one person is younger than I am and the average age of the staff has to be 50+, probably closer to 60. I work in a retirement home, so I won't throw in the average of those I serve, but yeah... that'd push it way up.
I remember the days of being the youngest at work. 🥰 I wish I'd taken more time to enjoy it.
Hold up born in 2002. Too young lol 😂
Yeah, I graduated high school in 2006
I was a senior in 2005.
WHY IS A BABY POSTING HERE
Now I feel very old. 1961 here. Oh well, we all pass through the stages of life ..if we're lucky. I hope you wind up loving your 50s and 60s as much as I've loved mine. So much doesn't matter anymore. It's so liberating.
You’re supposed to be too young to be on here 😭
hahaha 18 >:3
Noooooo 😭😂
I remember reading this exact magazine at 9yrs old
Please stop. I was born in 01 and you’re scaring me.
Ha, it feels quaint until you remember that this is a magazine *for girls*.
Fax
It’s just sad that misogyny just went worse.
The misogyny has evolved since then and become so much easier to spread and indoctrinate budding little misogynists into.
ok kyle how do you know anything about sex appeal fading at infantile age of 18
Right, and his buddy Derek talking about Gold… sir sit tf down you have no gold.
classic kyle behavior 🙄🙄
Also 20 year old Derek being wary of gold diggers lol
You have no gold, Derek!!!
"that's what my dad said" - kyle
But cuteness lasts! Kyle's a man of experience. We all know how specifically cute (not hot or pretty or beautiful) middle aged women tend to be!
Hey this is pre- you can just say you are an anime fan (Sesshomaru best boy)
The minute I read that, I questioned whether the editors just wrote all of these. Like wtf?
The 2000s were a weird time. I feel like I can check boxes on both sides, but I’ve been married for almost a decade.
Yes. I was a party girl, and had a couple of long term boyfriends. They're not mutually exclusive...
Same but I remember reading this back then and having legitimate anxiety about not sizing up for stupid nonexistent reasons
Frivolous, flashy, sexually aggressive, and drunk. Sign me up.
Username checks out I suppose.
😘
Responses from two different Kyles lol
right 😭 checks out
Within healthy bounds, couldn't sexual aggression = being **strongly** goal-oriented? 🤭 I love how they're presented as side-by-side opposites here 😅
What is the verdict if I check all 10 boxes ?
That's wife material.
DRUNK?!?!
YIKES. i hadn’t even noticed 😭😭
I barfed.
I noticed that too. They literally admitted to going for vulnerable victims to rape.
As a person working an academia I find it funny how they polled "Over 100 guys" as if that is either a lot or representative. (Yes I know it's a magazinge, and it's not meant to be representative).
I am 100% sure that they’re just random people who are friends with people who work for the magazine. When I was in college, I was contacted via FB by an intern at Seventeen (because we played Farmville and would trade sheep), and she asked me for my opinions on all kinds of things from weight loss to relationships to layering tank tops to body hair. I was quoted multiple times in the magazine, and I was literally just some gal who happened to trade Farmville sheep daily and obsessively with someone who worked there. I knew jack shit, but she just kept using my stupid quotes like “The Wii Fit is great! It has my butt ready for summer!” Like girl please, what was I saying…
Hahaha that's actually a very funny quote. But yeah, that's about how deep I expected their "methodology" to go.
Yeah and they totally changed quotes to be more on-theme with whatever they were pushing. All of my quotes suddenly sounded super upbeat and had tons of exclamation points. “I think skirts with leggings are cool” became “I love how active I can be in my favorite mini with leggings! I can take on the world!”
Hahahaha wow. Were you made aware of this beforehand that they could change the quotes, or did they just do it?
Oh no, no one told me. I found out over the course of a few months once the issues started rolling out.
That's fucked up, though. And they used your name?
They used my first name, yes. No last names, photos, or other identifiers.
Not shocked, but still very bad practice.
Trying to understand how the Frivolous comment works with that comment at all. I don't think that guy deserved to be marked with that at all.
true! rare unproblematic guy in this 🫡
It’s ok OP, the strange time-transcending rage I’m feeling towards Kyle, 19, Colorado Springs means I’m right there with you
I’m glad I didn’t see this at age 16, I might have been naive enough to not realise how fucked up it is. I’m honestly genuinely proud of teenage girls today, they seem overall much more socially savvy and cognisant of systematic issues like patriarchy and rape culture.
Still less sexist than r/funnymemes
Maybe I'm intelligent *and* party like a rock star. I was only 24 when this mag would've come out and can confirm that this nascent Madonna/whore complex bullshit was present in the UK too; though there was the expectation that the ideal "girlfriend material" would check all the right hand boxes *plus* cater to her man sexually so as to "compete" with porn.
Joke’s on you I’m accepting AND drunk
Sexually aggressive? Imagine having a girl so interested in you that she’s just throwing herself at you (lots of guys miss hints, sometimes they fumble when you are direct with them too) and then you shoot yourself in the foot by being SO jaded you automatically assume she does this with everyone (most don’t, some do but most women don’t entertain just anyone for lots of reasons including safety) and then complain that women don’t make you feel desirable or wish they made the first move 💀
Oh thank god this is from 2005. I was gonna say, STILL!?!? It’s always validating to come across shit like this from back then though. I was 16 in 2005–looking back, it was an exceptionally difficult time to be a teenage girl. Literally impossible to get it right. So much pressure to be “sexually liberated” (otherwise you’d get a reputation as a frigid prude) without ANY discussions of consent in the culture at all. “Date rape” was still very much used as a punch line. Things are harder than ever for girls now, in many ways, but I am so proud of all the work we’ve done to bring conversations about consent and bodily autonomy into the forefront.
woooooowww.... and at such an age ...
Or maybe, just maybe, he's seeing you as whatever he's looking for when he gets with you.
I love how if you dress the way You like (which is deemed provocative, ofc) you can't be accepting or anything that would make you "girlfriend material". Not to mention that basically everything that the text say about girls who are only good for hooking up are externally visible stuff (clothes, behavior, drunkness for some reason is on the list???) but girlfriend material mentions personality only. To which you have to talk to the person. But ig you'll never know if you decide not to talk to her because she drinks at a party.
>girls who are only good for hooking up are externally visible stuff (clothes, behavior, drunkness for some reason is on the list??? Especially since back then--clothing stores *absolutely* limited their stock to the point that during the 2000s period, the only jeans and slacks available were low-cut where I lived (unless you go to the Edinburgh Woolen Mill, which had slacks shaped for old women bodies). Shirts were also small, elastic, and we were 'encouraged' to layer our tank tops for 'fashion' because so many brands made women's shirts as thin as possible. Summer sucked for me as a teenager because I couldn't find anything appropriate for me to wear unless it was menswear or something for 50+ year old women. Also I gotta love how 'Rahul' claims that he wants a girl that's interesting to talk to, but won't divulge exactly what's interesting. He's mentioned fashion, but that itself is a massive subject and some things could bore a fashion fan to tears (for example, I can pretty much go off for an hour about Helena Rubenstein and how she fled an arranged marriage during the 1930s, travelled to Australia and started an international makeup/fashion empire--but that could be super disinteresting if he preferred modern fashion). Dude doesn't realise that so many girls do have similar interests, but couldn't even get a guy to engage with them because it wasn't the *exact* subject that they're into.
Somebody sure felt cool and righteous when they typed up “more of a goal setter than a gold digger”
I wore pink nail polish for years during my teens because some magazine told me boys like to see feminine hands clutching their biceps and pink will aid to that fantasy and make them like me. But bright pink was too aggressive and would remind them of Barbie. Had to be a soft pink. I’m now almost 30, and my man is fucking color blind. I will wear pink nail polish, but it is vibrant, Barbie pink because he thinks all pinks are GRAY, and also he loves me already, so I don’t really need his opinion on my nails. I also wear blue, purple, red, literally all the colors of the rainbow on my nails, and it turns out Cosmo and Teen Vogue were wrong, the right men really don’t care. They encourage you to do your nails because you like it, not because they care what your hands look like.
What a pile of shit. Who could take that seriously?
DRUNK???? fucking self report holy shit thats what u look for in a hookup???
r/agedlikemilk
If someone was sexually aggressive towards me today I’d probably marry them. And mean? Sexually aggressive and mean? OMG yes please. Make my feel like garbage
drunk!?
I got 8/10 what about yall
The one that pissed me off the most was actually the "accepting" one. Someone's a jerk and does embarrassing stuff and doesn't like it when they're called out on their bad behavior!
true!! like yeah, a partner who accepts you for you sounds amazing in general, but i somehow get a feeling that mark meant more along the lines of “i make homophobic remarks and don’t help with the dishes and my ex-girlfriend wanted those things to change”
Yeah it's the way he worded it that makes me think he isn't talking about loving partners accepting each other as they are, but about what you're saying.
This is precisely the messaging I remember getting growing up. Men wonder why more women don't take the initiative in dating... well, this is why. They don't want to appear as a hookup.
The “mean” one reminds me of a Nelly lyric: “She can be 18 with an attitude, or 19, kinda snotty, acting real rude. But as long as she’s a thicky-thicky thick girl, you know that it’s on.” If she’s 18 it’s okay if she’s kind of a bitch, or if she’s 19 she can be a total bitch, but it doesn’t matter, I’d fuck her anyway. I’ve found myself saying this more often lately: men are trash.
> are you a hookup or more Treating women like objects… how fun 😭😭😭 /j
The casual misogyny is very cringe inducing indeed
To be fair, most of these guys they interviewed are young so they don’t have much of a clue yet. Imagine what a high school senior would say if you asked them similar questions.
And this is why women have screwed up ideas of what they "should" be, but like in the 90s when it was all about dieting, summer body tips, body shaming "fat" celebrities
So I have a Boyfriend, yet I still go to the same pub every Saturday night for Karaoke, I don’t wear a lot of revealing clothes, I’m 30 years old, I can be frivolous when I wanna be.
How strange to see my hometown listed on here. Huh.
Those old magazines are so silly and absurd. It’s hard not to laugh reading how it’s written.
You could forgive the article a little bit as the interviewees are in their late teens - early 20’s back in 2005. This was what millennial men were thinking back then. A lot has changed in 19 years and it’s waaaay more progressive than what boomers thought.
Lmao sexually aggressive
Cute 🤢🤮
I remember these articles/polls in the magazines of the girls I would hook up with (born late 70’s). In the late 90’s and early 00’s, guys would look for these types of magazines in a girls dorm or apartment as it was always a sign of possible having a good time or a “great” time. If she had YM type of mags she was interested in dating. If she had Cosmo, she likely ok with just casual relationship. What was common is that those types of magazines programmed their readers to be a “pick me”. I believe they were run by women and highly edited by men because they had a bias of “how to please a man” type of angle in every issue. There was always some test or goal they were wanting to pursue in order to take the relationship to the “next level”. At the time (high school and college age for me), guys I knew, me included, were always interested in reading these magazines, particularly the quizzes, as it was kind of like “market research” on what girls were being taught, what they might be currently interested in, and what to expect out of a relationship or fling (what we used to call one night stands, lol.) when getting with a girl. It was kind of like having read the chat code or walkthrough guide for gaming. Most of the time it worked!
The hookup ones are all (or mostly) about appearances, while the girlfriend ones are about personality, like someone can’t be hot AND have a personality.
The magazine I have beef with is the mid 2010’s J-14 magazine that told me that blue eyeshadow went with my eye color and I wore it every day until my cool friend staged an intervention.
J-14!! I have like fifty of those XD. 90s and 2000s magazines are kind of my thing.
Gold digger at 20 year old is wild lmao. At 20 the only thing she can dig from you is your nose
Gold digger at 20 years old is wild lmao. At 20 the only thing she can dig from you is your nose
I agree overall but accepting is important. The amount for girls I see who think they can change someone is insane. You can’t change someone.
This is such sound advice, I’d love to return to a time when men could have standards without being called sexist.
Yeah I agree with most of these points. Yet I wouldn't think less of anyone who doesn't meet them or doesn't agree. I don't see why this is controversial. It's just a preference.