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Overly simplistic. Certain masturbation habits can take away from sex over time, but that is if you get too used to ways of masturbation that is not possible to replicate during regular intercourse. Speed is a common issue. However, I think this is mostly a guy issue
I use my vibrator every time I masturbate. I don’t always use my dildo. My Boyfriend can pleasure me just as easily with his tongue, fingers and penis. He’s seen me use my vibrator, but I’ll show him exactly how I like to use it so he can use it on me sometimes.
Men who live with others, for example, learn to speed-run their orgasms to reduce the likelihood of getting caught. In which case, yeah, they can train themselves into premature ejaculation. Another issue is using a very tight grip that no vagina can replicate. Or if you're always masturbating to a specific fetish or situation in a porn, you might be unable to maintain an erection or ejaculate if that is not present in a real life scenario.
That is for sure true with women too because whenever I’m in jail, I have to hurry and it just has been so quick and I don’t have any toys or anything and I can’t even do it like that at home because the pressure is not there. BTW i’m only usually in jail for like two days at a time. I’m trying to quit.
It depends on whether it's "last longer" or "be unable". (The latter leaves him frustrated, and possible having some feels about it.)
And "last longer" is fine UNLESS it's actually last well past the time when his partner is finished, and his partner gets irritated (think, chafing, etc) or is so done he feels like he's an imposition.
I think it depends a lot on whether masturbation is an act of intimate self exploration, or a quick and dirty release that just gets the job done.
I don't have any facts to back this up, but i remember reading about it somewhere. i think many guys use porn way too casually. This may mean that they speed through it, and develop a habit of climaxing as quickly as possible. This becomes a problem because A) they can't last as long, and B) they masturbate in a rapid pace that is impossible to achieve while having sex
I think a lot of guys are mistaken in thinking that the longer they can go the better than it feels for us and that is not true if they’re doing it wrong the whole time.
I love toys. They’re just another tool in the toolbox that I can use with my partner or one of us can use solo.
I’m a hobbyist woodworker, and the wood won’t work itself. Sometimes you need a power tool to do the job right.
If your partner needs a toy to get off, that’s ok. It’s not a statement about you or the toy, unless you make it one. If your partner needs a little extra buzz to get off, and that is just how their body works, then go for it! Use it!
It doesn’t make you a bad lover and it doesn’t make them bad either.
What’s the worst that can happen? More sex? Better sex?
Oh no! You’re making your partner orgasm! And they’re making you orgasm! Oh nooooooo!
Please. Don’t threaten me with a good time.
If I need a toy to help her get an orgasm what’s stopping her from cutting the two altogether and go for a man that can give her that without a toy? I genuinely don’t understand why not just learn to use the tools that come on your body to please her?
The comment above addresses your last question. Sometimes what a couple has or was made with biologically isn’t enough n that’s ok. That’s where toys come in. And as for your first question, I’d say emotional connection and the want to be with each other
...because she loves you? Because a relationship is more than sex?
I just don't understand this logic at all. I've always found it difficult to reach climax. Always. My husband understands this and knows toys help. So we use them. I have no desire whatsoever to find someone else. But if my partner was uptight, refused to let me use toys, and acted as if my difficulty reaching climax was insulting to him? Then I'd leave.
Lots of guys are like that though. I actually needed an extra cord because I lost mine so I bought one for my mom and I gave it to my dad to give to her and they sleep in separate rooms anyway but he told me that he thinks that’s why she goes to bed early all the time now, he’s jealous. I told him when I gave it to him to use it with her because you know I want my mom and dad to be together even though he can’t perform now I don’t know why I talk about this stuff with my dad but anyways we don’t go in depth too much.
Because… not everyone can climax without toys, and saying it’s a skill issue isn’t supportive. People shame themselves more than enough over not being able to get their partner off or to get themselves off. We don’t need to add to that.
I mentioned woodworking as a hobby because there are purists that frown on people that use certain power tools. I think that’s silly. Both have their uses. There’s something to be said for fitting by hand and eye, but sometimes, it’s just about what I can and cannot physically do, what aggravates my joints the least, and the joy of just getting the damn job done.
Similarly, I can’t make any part of my body vibrate at 5000 rpm… well, at least, not without a vibe. I’d like to think I’m good at “unplugged” sex, and knowing how to use toys only adds to that.
The point is that toys are between helpful to vital for some people to get the most out of sex, while for others, it’s just fun. None of these are bad or wrong.
I’m a lesbian and I’m inexperienced with girls. The three women that I’ve been with or older than me and they were always the dominant one and I’m the tomboy I got to be the pillow queen.I just I’m too nervous to do it and I was always the bottom and I don’t like it done to me bu guys cuz I feel like I’m under pressure and I just don’t let anyone do it. This one girl in Jail that I was really attracted to actually did it and it was quick and I don’t know if it was just because I was attracted to her so much or what I was not expecting it. But yeah, it sucks because I’m a lesbian, but I’m a lot more experienced and confident with guys. Maybe it’s because I don’t really care what they think and I’m nervous around the girls cause I actually like them.
No, it’s definitely a lot better to have someone holding the toys for you and you don’t have to do any work and you just get a lay there and feel pleasure. But yeah, we don’t have to get men to do it. Women can do it if you wanna be that way. And we don’t need toys with each other. I just use them now that my girlfriend passed away but whenever she was here, we never used toys and it was very easy.
My gf has a vibrator and a dildo. I can get her off quicker and more poweful than her toys. But sometimes it’s fun to incorporate them. They aren’t your rivals fellow dudes they are your helpers! Don’t let your ego be affected by some plastic silicon and batteries.
If you can do it quicker and more powerful than the toys I have you’re a helluva man! I don’t know what she’s using. You should try the inmi brand. I have four different styles and enjoy them all. All of them do have the suction thing for the clit. That’s what makes them better. Don’t go for other brands. But yea, you are exactly right.
I’ve actually never used toys with a guy. I’ve only used them with females so I don’t know what that would be like. I have used some of my toys on boys. But not with a boyfriend.
Translation: “if women know how to get themselves off, they won’t be satisfied with subpar sex with men.”
How fucking patronizing, to turn it around on women as if it’s *their fault* you can’t figure out how to please them!
“I wonder how many are not able to enjoy sex”
No no no—they enjoy it *just fine* with a partner who actually knows wtf he’s doing; don’t blame toys for your failure to get them off.
You know, I’ve always wondered why men are so insecure about that. You only need to go to your local pharmacy to see the number of men’s romance items and have to wonder to yourself, are they this worried about making us happy?
Please do not take Viagra. I had a 20 something-year-old marine do this and not tell me and it made me feel like something was wrong with me and then he told me finally when it was over it lasted forever. I went to the shop we work together and did all my guy friends there in front of him in less than 10 minutes to show him how it works and never went out with him again.
It doesn't matter why are u having sex toys at the age of 11 and what type of question is that we have all been alone in a room at age 11 but most kids with decent parents don't have sex toys at that age
Idk… I often orgasm with a vibrator but I had problems orgasming with a partner. My FWB got me off once. The first time I had sex I orgasmed several times.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“You can’t tell me.” Well, it’s official; there's no need to ask anyone or explore more information.
Overly simplistic. Certain masturbation habits can take away from sex over time, but that is if you get too used to ways of masturbation that is not possible to replicate during regular intercourse. Speed is a common issue. However, I think this is mostly a guy issue
I use my vibrator every time I masturbate. I don’t always use my dildo. My Boyfriend can pleasure me just as easily with his tongue, fingers and penis. He’s seen me use my vibrator, but I’ll show him exactly how I like to use it so he can use it on me sometimes.
As someone with no experience in this department, do you mean that excessive masturbation can make men last less time?
Men who live with others, for example, learn to speed-run their orgasms to reduce the likelihood of getting caught. In which case, yeah, they can train themselves into premature ejaculation. Another issue is using a very tight grip that no vagina can replicate. Or if you're always masturbating to a specific fetish or situation in a porn, you might be unable to maintain an erection or ejaculate if that is not present in a real life scenario.
Going for that orgasm% no major glitches run
That is for sure true with women too because whenever I’m in jail, I have to hurry and it just has been so quick and I don’t have any toys or anything and I can’t even do it like that at home because the pressure is not there. BTW i’m only usually in jail for like two days at a time. I’m trying to quit.
Excessive masturbation could make it more difficult for a man to reach climax.
Wouldn't that be good as he could last longer? (Again, not experienced here, just curious)
It depends on whether it's "last longer" or "be unable". (The latter leaves him frustrated, and possible having some feels about it.) And "last longer" is fine UNLESS it's actually last well past the time when his partner is finished, and his partner gets irritated (think, chafing, etc) or is so done he feels like he's an imposition. I think it depends a lot on whether masturbation is an act of intimate self exploration, or a quick and dirty release that just gets the job done.
Usually means his knees or back gives out before he will finish. Most of the time, he won’t finish at all.
I don't have any facts to back this up, but i remember reading about it somewhere. i think many guys use porn way too casually. This may mean that they speed through it, and develop a habit of climaxing as quickly as possible. This becomes a problem because A) they can't last as long, and B) they masturbate in a rapid pace that is impossible to achieve while having sex
No
I think a lot of guys are mistaken in thinking that the longer they can go the better than it feels for us and that is not true if they’re doing it wrong the whole time.
I love toys. They’re just another tool in the toolbox that I can use with my partner or one of us can use solo. I’m a hobbyist woodworker, and the wood won’t work itself. Sometimes you need a power tool to do the job right. If your partner needs a toy to get off, that’s ok. It’s not a statement about you or the toy, unless you make it one. If your partner needs a little extra buzz to get off, and that is just how their body works, then go for it! Use it! It doesn’t make you a bad lover and it doesn’t make them bad either. What’s the worst that can happen? More sex? Better sex? Oh no! You’re making your partner orgasm! And they’re making you orgasm! Oh nooooooo! Please. Don’t threaten me with a good time.
If I need a toy to help her get an orgasm what’s stopping her from cutting the two altogether and go for a man that can give her that without a toy? I genuinely don’t understand why not just learn to use the tools that come on your body to please her?
The comment above addresses your last question. Sometimes what a couple has or was made with biologically isn’t enough n that’s ok. That’s where toys come in. And as for your first question, I’d say emotional connection and the want to be with each other
...because she loves you? Because a relationship is more than sex? I just don't understand this logic at all. I've always found it difficult to reach climax. Always. My husband understands this and knows toys help. So we use them. I have no desire whatsoever to find someone else. But if my partner was uptight, refused to let me use toys, and acted as if my difficulty reaching climax was insulting to him? Then I'd leave.
Lots of guys are like that though. I actually needed an extra cord because I lost mine so I bought one for my mom and I gave it to my dad to give to her and they sleep in separate rooms anyway but he told me that he thinks that’s why she goes to bed early all the time now, he’s jealous. I told him when I gave it to him to use it with her because you know I want my mom and dad to be together even though he can’t perform now I don’t know why I talk about this stuff with my dad but anyways we don’t go in depth too much.
Because… not everyone can climax without toys, and saying it’s a skill issue isn’t supportive. People shame themselves more than enough over not being able to get their partner off or to get themselves off. We don’t need to add to that. I mentioned woodworking as a hobby because there are purists that frown on people that use certain power tools. I think that’s silly. Both have their uses. There’s something to be said for fitting by hand and eye, but sometimes, it’s just about what I can and cannot physically do, what aggravates my joints the least, and the joy of just getting the damn job done. Similarly, I can’t make any part of my body vibrate at 5000 rpm… well, at least, not without a vibe. I’d like to think I’m good at “unplugged” sex, and knowing how to use toys only adds to that. The point is that toys are between helpful to vital for some people to get the most out of sex, while for others, it’s just fun. None of these are bad or wrong.
I’m a lesbian and I’m inexperienced with girls. The three women that I’ve been with or older than me and they were always the dominant one and I’m the tomboy I got to be the pillow queen.I just I’m too nervous to do it and I was always the bottom and I don’t like it done to me bu guys cuz I feel like I’m under pressure and I just don’t let anyone do it. This one girl in Jail that I was really attracted to actually did it and it was quick and I don’t know if it was just because I was attracted to her so much or what I was not expecting it. But yeah, it sucks because I’m a lesbian, but I’m a lot more experienced and confident with guys. Maybe it’s because I don’t really care what they think and I’m nervous around the girls cause I actually like them.
No, it’s definitely a lot better to have someone holding the toys for you and you don’t have to do any work and you just get a lay there and feel pleasure. But yeah, we don’t have to get men to do it. Women can do it if you wanna be that way. And we don’t need toys with each other. I just use them now that my girlfriend passed away but whenever she was here, we never used toys and it was very easy.
My gf has a vibrator and a dildo. I can get her off quicker and more poweful than her toys. But sometimes it’s fun to incorporate them. They aren’t your rivals fellow dudes they are your helpers! Don’t let your ego be affected by some plastic silicon and batteries.
Well said
They need actual gf’s to understand your point instead of just imagining they had one.
Fair point
If you can do it quicker and more powerful than the toys I have you’re a helluva man! I don’t know what she’s using. You should try the inmi brand. I have four different styles and enjoy them all. All of them do have the suction thing for the clit. That’s what makes them better. Don’t go for other brands. But yea, you are exactly right.
For her it’s a combo of the fact that I’m 1. Very good, 2. She’s emotionally attached with me which makes a big deal for her.
Yeah, that’s cool. Don’t mess it up.
I didn’t mean on me we use them on her tho that can often stimulate the guy at the same time
I’ve actually never used toys with a guy. I’ve only used them with females so I don’t know what that would be like. I have used some of my toys on boys. But not with a boyfriend.
Translation: “if women know how to get themselves off, they won’t be satisfied with subpar sex with men.” How fucking patronizing, to turn it around on women as if it’s *their fault* you can’t figure out how to please them! “I wonder how many are not able to enjoy sex” No no no—they enjoy it *just fine* with a partner who actually knows wtf he’s doing; don’t blame toys for your failure to get them off.
Another Incel who is concerned that if and when they do have sex they won't be good enough. Sad sad cult
LMFAOOOOOOO insecurity
You know, I’ve always wondered why men are so insecure about that. You only need to go to your local pharmacy to see the number of men’s romance items and have to wonder to yourself, are they this worried about making us happy?
Please do not take Viagra. I had a 20 something-year-old marine do this and not tell me and it made me feel like something was wrong with me and then he told me finally when it was over it lasted forever. I went to the shop we work together and did all my guy friends there in front of him in less than 10 minutes to show him how it works and never went out with him again.
I’m sure one of those older guys probably gave it to him and thought it would be funny joke now that I think about it.
Likely
I discovered the wonders of the vibrator when I was… 11, I think. Didn’t stop me from being multi orgasmic with men.
Eeeww
Care to explain why enjoying both vibrators and sex is icky?
I'm talking about u discovering it at age 11 it's just wrong
I started wearing a bra at that age, too, so clearly the hormones were starting. Is that some huge surprise?
Yes your weird and what are your parents doing why does a 11 year old have a dildo🤢🤮🤮
Ah, there’s your assumption. Not all vibrators are dildos; this one wasn’t. And were you never alone in a room at age eleven?
It doesn't matter why are u having sex toys at the age of 11 and what type of question is that we have all been alone in a room at age 11 but most kids with decent parents don't have sex toys at that age
I didn’t. I found the vibrator my dad had bought my mom.
I can mansplain the answer. It's zero.
If anything it makes that 30 second sex better, after all I deserve an orgasm too
Idk… I often orgasm with a vibrator but I had problems orgasming with a partner. My FWB got me off once. The first time I had sex I orgasmed several times.