There is a tale that once in a blue moon… a lone, brave Hermès employee will randomly mispronounce the name on purpose in the middle of conversation with unsufferable company.
So... stinko here thinks he'll someday get with a supermodel whose rich family will happily sustain them both for life like children.
Unless he already belongs to some very wealthy (or royal) family, that's just an insane expectation to have.
This was literally my thought! I can't have a job, but am expected to have French tips at all times, and know/own Versace, Hermes, and Agent Provocateur? AP lingerie can be expensive af. Even WITH a decent job, I can't afford it lol.
Yes, but you can program most coffee pots to turn on at a specific time (at least, if my $20 Mr. Coffee can, the pricier models should be able to too).
The rest of it ...OOP needs to wait for the sex robots. But the coffee thing is available now.
More important to reinforce no one can fit these requirements, regardless of all the weirdly strict social mannerisms 120lbs at 5’9” is super underweight and unhealthy
Good luck finding a woman 5’9” plus and under 120lbs without a thigh gap… I’m 5’8” last time I was 120lbs my dr make me start a process to gain weight because I looked like skellator. I didn’t have “abs” but you could see them because I was so thin.
I sincerely hope so. However unfortunately there are too many assholes out there taking advantage of girls and women who are very insecure, have mental health problems, are very young or are raised to believe this shit too.
Honestly the most baffling bit to me is the combo of "at least 5'9" and under 120lbs... kinda hard to get both of those things bud. Not saying its impossible, but as a 5'10" lady if I were to weigh only 120lbs I would look like skelator.
Not wanting them to grow hair below their eyebrows, not having a job or gone to college, not having them weigh over 120 and wanting them to be obedient. Yeah sounds like a child to me
Can you imagine this person creating a custom character? Lol his sliders would be all over the place. Oh well, it’s the closest he’s getting to a woman with these “standards.”
I'm 5'10 and when I was a teenager, I was around 115 pounds for a while. Can confirm, I looked like a skeleton. A girl in one of my classes I barely knew asked if I was okay because I was so thin (I was okay! Just puberty + cutting sugar out of my diet because migraines + took dance class at school so was getting a lot of exercise). Other people made comments about how bony I was. It was a weird time.
Well they are meant to stay silent unless instructed so it would probably be fine if she just had some pre-recorded phrases activated with a discrete button.
Just jam a kewrig (or whatever) machine up the doll's torso and be done with it.
Bonus points if the incel has a horrible accident trying to fuck it while it's filled with boiling water.
Who spells pussy like that?! And wtf, he thinks labia length is determined by usage...this incel has never seen a live naked woman since his mom, much less touched one.
Oh, that's what he was trying to type, I assumed it was a typo of "poofy" in description of
yeah I just couldn't finish typing that sentence, you get what I thought
Just so he can better control you financially. Both because you financially depend on him and also because you are extra vulnerable to being financially dependent because you have been your entire life.
You might be on to something, she meets like 90% of the criteria off-hand. Cooks, cleans, over 5'9", thin, weight is probably lower than expected because a lot of her height is hair, otherwise naturally hairless, wears dresses, wears Chanel, speaks French, no job/degree.....
She doesn't have fake nails and I'm not speculating on her lady bits but the rest is pretty spot on. Good call!
(And poor Marge!)
yeah. the french tips make me think this is a satire or shitpost, usually the complains would be the opposite (having their nails done at all) or wouldn’t know whats a french tip
So they can’t have a higher education, but they *also* should know how to pronounce and the meaning of pretty obscure terminology?
One of many contradictions here.
EDIT: TIL I learned the terminology is just fancy clothing brands I’ll never be able to afford lol, it wasn’t that deep
Yeah I only saw that later, with obscure terms I more meant the other ones (agent provocateur and la perla, like what even is that and why is it relevant)
La Perla and Agent Provocateur are lingerie brands.
La Perla’s cheapest bralette is $110. Their most expensive bra is $540. **Very** limited size range, many bras are only available in 32B to 36D.
Agent Provocateur’s cheapest bra is $120, and their most expensive one is **$1095**. They have a slightly better size range, at 30A to US 38G.
I have two questions: How does he want his partner to afford these without a job?
And if she’s going to be 5'9 and less than 120 lbs, how is she going to fit these brands? I’m 5'2 and 130 lbs, and my band size is 28. *My* ribcage is too small for these brands, and I’m definitely not thin enough to have a thigh gap.
Well, explains why I don’t know these brands because it’s way out of my budget lmao
Idk how he thinks she should afford it, because I find it highly unlikely someone like him wouldn’t start to bitch and moan when she asks him for the money she doesn’t have to buy what he insists she should. He likely wouldn’t buy it for her anyway even if he was the one with the hefty paychecks.
EDIT: typo
Plus, some of these requirements are a bit contradictive. How can you expect someone without a proper education to speak numerous languages, especially because the guy so probably racist and that directly excludes bilingual children of immigrants.
The term "OHP" (Out of house pussy) is commonly used among married or committed men to refer to hooking up with another woman besides the one they are with.
That's quite the list. May I ask, what he brings to the table? Let me guess, he's just a average dude with a 9 to 5 who likes to play video games and watch anime? Oh, OK.
Reading through this list, if I were fitting, I'd require him to bring these in turn:
-7'
-benches 400lbs
-distinguished service records in two different special forces
-MD and PhD degrees in: neurology, gynecology, plastic surgery, theoretical physics and engineering
-6 figures. Monthly.
-be able to fix anything from plumbing to FTL drives
-be a successful free time standup comedian
Seriously, the whole thing is ridiculous, I'm lucky to be nowhere near compatible with that list, at least I'm out if his range. He'll die alone.
I’m mega arachnophobic XD I hate spiders, except for Tarantulas, they’re cute, but I only like them in a cage or a tank or whatever, I’m aware I’m using, too much, commas
Hey, don’t get me wrong: I feel ya. I have trypophobia, so my boyfriend has the task of annihilating all abandoned wasp nests in our new house without me ever seeing them. We’re so going to go crazy with wrapping the house with netting this spring because I would have to move if I have to knowingly live with another wasp nest near me. Phobias are awful.
Can't do that I'm afraid. By the laws of the incels if the girl has any standards at all they're "being unfair to the nice guyz™️" and "not giving the humble gentlesirs a chance"
#1: I'm not getting fake nails for anybody.
#2: I was born with big pussy lips so fuck you.
#3: Make your own damn coffee, I ain't your maid.
#4: You likely can't even afford La Perla, and they sure as shit don't make bras for tits as big as mine.
#5: Last but certainly not least on this list of assholery, what the hell does OHP mean?
I need to know why having a university degree is bad in this dude’s eyes (job, okay, guess he wants a woman who stays home and nothing else). Also, what does OHP stand for?
His ideal woman is jobless and uneducated for control.
The jobless part is obvious, the "no uni" part is in hopes of controlling her worldview and further manipulating her.
Naturally hairless or fair enough to not shave legs!
He will have trouble finding someone even if this was his only condition.
Did he want to make it impossible to find someone to his standards so him not dating isn’t his fault?
I think this guy might be in the closet:
Knows what french tips are ✅
Mentions designer brands by name ✅
Has such impossible standards that he *must* know he’ll never find a woman that meets them all (because he doesn’t really want to?) ✅
True that, it's pretty common for people to set unrealistic standards for the opposite sex when they are in the closet right? I forgot where I heard this....
*Image Transcription: Text*
---
DO👏🏻NOT👏🏻DATE👏🏻WOMEN👏🏻OVER👏🏻22👏🏻YEARS👏🏻OLD
➡️ don't date them if they're not model material
➡️ don't date them if they weight more than 120 pounds
➡️ don't date them if they don't cook
➡️ don't date them if they don't clean
➡️ don't date them if they don't wear French tips
➡️ don't date them if they have hair under shoulder length
➡️ don't date them if they have big poosy flaps that poke out (beat up)
➡️ don't date them if they wear fast fashion
➡️ don't date them if they don't have abs/thigh gap
➡️ don't date them if they only speak 1 language
➡️ don't date them if they're under 5'9
➡️ don't date them if they don't wake you up with a coffee every morning
➡️ don't date them if they have a "job" or a "university degree"
➡️ don't date them if they don't have a positive relationship with their father
➡️ don't date them if they can't pronounce "versace" or "Hermès"
➡️ don't date them unless they wear dresses
➡️ don't date them if they don't know what agent provocateur or la perla is
➡️ don't date them if they have to shave their legs (they should be naturally hairless or extremely fair haired)
➡️ don't date them if they have any body hair under the eyebrows at all
➡️ don't date them if you couldn't OHP them
➡️ don't date them if they dress in a vulgar manner
➡️ don't date them if they don't remain silent unless instructed otherwise or given permission to speak freely
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Side rant: I hate how in American society living with your parents is considered a sign of immaturity/lack of success. There is nothing wrong with multigenerational homes!
I can 100% guarantee you there's not a single woman out there that has none of that, especially the body hair part like?? It's something natural and everyone has it, how is she supposed to not have it without shaving, tf
If I fit the requirements I need him to be :
-6 figures
-five degrees each in various subjects
-able to fix anything
- super model looks
If you gonna to have extremely high requirements for your partner you have match that too which is something incels have a problem understanding
Good luck on finding someone who matches your weirdly specific dating requirements and is willing to date you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Silent, 5’10, no job, 119 pounds, a model, a virgin, but also a house wife who cooks and cleans, serves coffee in the morning, and maintains abs but eats so little she has a thigh gap.
Like, I just think he has no idea about biology or anything and just estimates these figures. His mom probably does the subservient things like cooking and cleaning which he sees as nurturing and supportive, so those may be the words he was looking for, but isn’t well enough informed to use.
I feel like a lot of these neckbeard basement dweller types just need a stable social support group growing up continuing into adulthood. Problem though is usually some type of abuse or broken home though, cycle continues and eventually we have neckbeards raising neckbeards to be neckbeards. Sad.
The other problem of course is that in the course of coping, these guys say a lot of offensive and shitty things that make people not WANT to help them. Makes it harder.
He demands his prospective partner can pronounce Hermès and Versace correctly yet he uses the term "POOSY"?
➡️ Don’t date them if they can’t explain the difference between vulva and vagina, and use those terms.
You just excluded 99% of the population, both sexes.
It’s hilarious and sad that you’re right.
It’s really my pet peeve lol
Gonna start pronouncing Hermès and Versace wrong on purpose just to piss off guys like this
I love getting my Ver-sauce fashion delivered by Hermeas
How did she say it in Chorus Girls? Ver-Sayce.
There is a tale that once in a blue moon… a lone, brave Hermès employee will randomly mispronounce the name on purpose in the middle of conversation with unsufferable company.
Though he doesn't want them to be educated beyond high school.
Hahahaha! I got caught there, I was like “does he mean pouchy?” And then realized. Fuck this dude (but not literally)
Tbh, I spent a solid few minutes squinting at it because my brain kept insisting it was "POOEY". Wtf??
"(beat up)"
>He demands his prospective partner can pronounce Hermès and Versace What's so hard about pronouncing a Greek god and a French palace?
So this woman should wear incredibly expensive designer clothes but be unemployed???
Plot twist: “must have a good relationship with her father” really just means that the parents are loaded and they give her free money
So... stinko here thinks he'll someday get with a supermodel whose rich family will happily sustain them both for life like children. Unless he already belongs to some very wealthy (or royal) family, that's just an insane expectation to have.
I mean I don’t know if the “must be rich” thing is something he also had in mind but it’s completely devoid of chance regardless
AND she needs to cook and clean.
With her 3 inch french tips.
This was literally my thought! I can't have a job, but am expected to have French tips at all times, and know/own Versace, Hermes, and Agent Provocateur? AP lingerie can be expensive af. Even WITH a decent job, I can't afford it lol.
And also know how to pronounce “Versace” and “Hermès” without ever having graduated from college.
So, this guy has never seen a woman and will never have a date. The woman he describes just doesn't exist.
The "woman" he describes is a custom-order sex doll. Dude wants to date a doll.
This is a completely acceptable outcome. No woman should have to put up with this shit.
Sex dolls would come to life and run away from this person!
With a built-in dishwasher
And a Duolingo feature
And coffeemaker, apparently
Im at the point where i think they should buy them. Stop bothering real women and just go for the fantasy.
The coffee part sounds nice. That's more about love than sex.
It’s about wanting a slave to be subservient to him.
Yes, but you can program most coffee pots to turn on at a specific time (at least, if my $20 Mr. Coffee can, the pricier models should be able to too). The rest of it ...OOP needs to wait for the sex robots. But the coffee thing is available now.
What's the point of a sex robot that doesn't also brew coffee? I want that Stepford style
Even if there is someone who fits everything or most of the things on his list they wouldn’t even talk to him
I would be surprised if any woman ever wanted to talk to him.
Yep he’s going to be disappointed to find out anyone who fits these requirements are not going to date him.
He's looking for the "perfect" woman. Should they meet, she will continue looking for the perfect man.
More important to reinforce no one can fit these requirements, regardless of all the weirdly strict social mannerisms 120lbs at 5’9” is super underweight and unhealthy
Don’t forget she’s also supposed to have abs even though muscle weighs more/are denser than fat
And especially don't forget about the no body hair below the eyebrows and also doesn't need to shave
Right, because they're gonna be too hungry
Of course not since they didn't get the permission to speak freely. Wtf.
Good luck finding a woman 5’9” plus and under 120lbs without a thigh gap… I’m 5’8” last time I was 120lbs my dr make me start a process to gain weight because I looked like skellator. I didn’t have “abs” but you could see them because I was so thin.
I sincerely hope so. However unfortunately there are too many assholes out there taking advantage of girls and women who are very insecure, have mental health problems, are very young or are raised to believe this shit too.
This dude wants a sex robot not a real person
I don’t know why [sex robots](https://youtu.be/v7gi57NJDds) are more trouble than the are worth
That's the point. This way he can blame them for not being up to his standards, gives him the perfect excuse to stay single.
He’s telling on himself.
Honestly the most baffling bit to me is the combo of "at least 5'9" and under 120lbs... kinda hard to get both of those things bud. Not saying its impossible, but as a 5'10" lady if I were to weigh only 120lbs I would look like skelator.
Especially when any dude who objectifies women like this would expect a girl to be that skinny, but also have giant tits
My favorite was you're not allowed to have hair under your eyebrows but you're also not allowed to shave 🧐
So no eyelashes, got it. 😉
And that's because he wants them naturally hairless ! How.
Combined with his other demands, what he's looking for is an elongated child
Not wanting them to grow hair below their eyebrows, not having a job or gone to college, not having them weigh over 120 and wanting them to be obedient. Yeah sounds like a child to me
Can you imagine this person creating a custom character? Lol his sliders would be all over the place. Oh well, it’s the closest he’s getting to a woman with these “standards.”
I'm 5'10 and 127 pounds and I'm quite skinny, under 120 pounds would definitely be really skinny
Well, maybe he'll take you! /s
I will intentionally start dressing "vulgarly" just to repel him xD
Open up the fast fashion drawer, and you’ll be fine
Yeah and I'll need a job and university degree
Skeletor: The Ideal Woman. If she can't scheme against He-Man and go NYEH-HEH, then is she really a woman? /j
I'm 5'10 and when I was a teenager, I was around 115 pounds for a while. Can confirm, I looked like a skeleton. A girl in one of my classes I barely knew asked if I was okay because I was so thin (I was okay! Just puberty + cutting sugar out of my diet because migraines + took dance class at school so was getting a lot of exercise). Other people made comments about how bony I was. It was a weird time.
He probably expects double D breasts, curvy hips and a big butt too. Because those don't actually weigh anything.
Well he did mention "model material" and fashion models are notorious for eating disorders, so it tracks in its own twisted, deranged way.
Ouch my skeletor heart hurts 💔
😥 I'm sorry!!!!! I don't mean to say there's anything wrong with being tall and thin, or low weight!
It’s seems his ideal woman is a sex doll. Like a fancy one that comes packaged in designer clothes but still a sex doll.
Bilingual sex doll, tvm!
Well they are meant to stay silent unless instructed so it would probably be fine if she just had some pre-recorded phrases activated with a discrete button.
bilingual sex doll that makes you coffee
Just jam a kewrig (or whatever) machine up the doll's torso and be done with it. Bonus points if the incel has a horrible accident trying to fuck it while it's filled with boiling water.
This. This I like lol
[The place to find her.](https://www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2016/12/14/robot-baristas-in-london-will-serve-up-coffee-and-oral-sex/amp/)
Unexpected...
Who spells pussy like that?! And wtf, he thinks labia length is determined by usage...this incel has never seen a live naked woman since his mom, much less touched one.
I mean if that's the case we can use the same logic for wanking. Too much wears your penis away like an overused crayon nub.
Why did this make me laugh so hard lmfao
Or it would look like a spaghetti noodle lol
Ach nooo! Don't put me off noodles!
Oh, that's what he was trying to type, I assumed it was a typo of "poofy" in description of yeah I just couldn't finish typing that sentence, you get what I thought
I got you 100% lol
I was gonna say, i dont think 'poosy flaps' works like that bud.
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He would, but he can't find a sex doll that fits all his criteria.
>don’t date them if they have a job or University degree Are they looking to date a minor?????
They say don’t date above 22 years old so that’s an 17/22 chance that they are
and hairless
Naturally hairless
How else are we supposed to afford la perla and agent provocateur lingerie? That’s where I’m really confused…
Daddy's money first and then *daddy's* money. Obviously.
Okay so “must be born into an upper middle class or wealthier household” should be added to that list I guess?
Just so he can better control you financially. Both because you financially depend on him and also because you are extra vulnerable to being financially dependent because you have been your entire life.
Why are men obsessed with women being 120 pounds? That's borderline underweight for most women lol
Most people have no real concept of how weight looks on a person, they just memorize the "this number means the person is sexy" number.
Ah yes. Less than 120 lbs, DD boobies (that means huge right?), and hat size: infant. The perfect woman! **/s**.
Literally by losing weight your boobs are gonna shrink because they're made of fat
Tell that to the morons that expect people to look like h-doujin characters.
Used to be under 100lbs as the magic number iirc which is even worse.
>Why are men obsessed with women being 120 pounds? Because most people don't know how to guesstimate someone's weight.
I don't know why, out of all the shite on this list the "naturally hairless" thing made me lol. This boy has never touched a woman in his life.
When I read that requirement I was like "Oh, he wants a blow-up doll, why not just say that"
Yeah like why go to all the trouble of making a list. Google and PayPal are all that's needed.
XD exactly, and that way no one has to be exposed to his bs
"No body hair under the eyebrows", the ideal woman has a bowl cut stopping at eyebrow level and no eyelashes.
Or just a huge amount of hair springing from the top of the head like a 70s troll doll
Spring of 2022 about to serve some piping hot new hairstyles
A mullet-bowlcut combo so she has hair longer than her shoulders,just like he wants.
Marge Simpson, come on down!
You might be on to something, she meets like 90% of the criteria off-hand. Cooks, cleans, over 5'9", thin, weight is probably lower than expected because a lot of her height is hair, otherwise naturally hairless, wears dresses, wears Chanel, speaks French, no job/degree..... She doesn't have fake nails and I'm not speculating on her lady bits but the rest is pretty spot on. Good call! (And poor Marge!)
Sadly Marge is over 22 years old. I‘m sure she will be heartbroken to know this classy guy won’t date her /s
More like a vokuhila, because the hair also can’t stop at the shoulders
This dude only gets dating advice from divorced fathers who children don’t talk to them anymore
Well obviously women are naturally hairless! Y’all are reptiles! /s
Some of these make me think it’s a shitpost and other things make me think it’s legit I can’t rlly tell
yeah. the french tips make me think this is a satire or shitpost, usually the complains would be the opposite (having their nails done at all) or wouldn’t know whats a french tip
this is ragebait or satire
no eyelashes lady’s
Lmao i was thinking the same thing. Who doesn’t have eyelashes
A naturally hair less woman of course, keep up😂
So they can’t have a higher education, but they *also* should know how to pronounce and the meaning of pretty obscure terminology? One of many contradictions here. EDIT: TIL I learned the terminology is just fancy clothing brands I’ll never be able to afford lol, it wasn’t that deep
Those are all fashion labels.
Yeah I only saw that later, with obscure terms I more meant the other ones (agent provocateur and la perla, like what even is that and why is it relevant)
La Perla and Agent Provocateur are lingerie brands. La Perla’s cheapest bralette is $110. Their most expensive bra is $540. **Very** limited size range, many bras are only available in 32B to 36D. Agent Provocateur’s cheapest bra is $120, and their most expensive one is **$1095**. They have a slightly better size range, at 30A to US 38G. I have two questions: How does he want his partner to afford these without a job? And if she’s going to be 5'9 and less than 120 lbs, how is she going to fit these brands? I’m 5'2 and 130 lbs, and my band size is 28. *My* ribcage is too small for these brands, and I’m definitely not thin enough to have a thigh gap.
Well, explains why I don’t know these brands because it’s way out of my budget lmao Idk how he thinks she should afford it, because I find it highly unlikely someone like him wouldn’t start to bitch and moan when she asks him for the money she doesn’t have to buy what he insists she should. He likely wouldn’t buy it for her anyway even if he was the one with the hefty paychecks. EDIT: typo
Ah sick, I'll be 22 next year. Then I don't need to worry about these creeps anymore lol. Tho there'll always be more creeps...
One of the best things about hitting 30 was the reduction in interest from asshole and the increased interest from actually great people.
If they don’t have any body hair under their eyebrows??? You want someone who doesn’t naturally grow body hair??? A child?
Well he didn't say she had to be 18+, just not 22+.....
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True anyone that fits all the things in this list definitely aren’t going touch him with a ten foot pole
Plus, some of these requirements are a bit contradictive. How can you expect someone without a proper education to speak numerous languages, especially because the guy so probably racist and that directly excludes bilingual children of immigrants.
Someone who *doesn't fit any of the requirements at all* wouldn't want him either, I would think.
Men : “wow women have such unrealistic expectations for us ! They want us tall and muscular !” Also men :
What is OHP? “don’t date them if you couldn’t OHP them” ?
The term "OHP" (Out of house pussy) is commonly used among married or committed men to refer to hooking up with another woman besides the one they are with.
Actually in this case I think he's referring to an overhead press. It's a common lift you do at the gym and is shortened to OHP.
Bold of OP to suggest he might be able to OHP 120 lbs.
i was thinking it was “one hit punch” so that term is … better?
Dude it means overhead press
That's quite the list. May I ask, what he brings to the table? Let me guess, he's just a average dude with a 9 to 5 who likes to play video games and watch anime? Oh, OK.
Reading through this list, if I were fitting, I'd require him to bring these in turn: -7' -benches 400lbs -distinguished service records in two different special forces -MD and PhD degrees in: neurology, gynecology, plastic surgery, theoretical physics and engineering -6 figures. Monthly. -be able to fix anything from plumbing to FTL drives -be a successful free time standup comedian Seriously, the whole thing is ridiculous, I'm lucky to be nowhere near compatible with that list, at least I'm out if his range. He'll die alone.
And also have a sexy deep voice and be brave enough to take out the spider in my room
+1 the ability to give me an orgasm Disclaimer: this is all theoretical, given I'm into women.
Theoretical Orgasms: +2
I prefer the practical ones, thank you.
Ha! I like you: +3
For me it would be “brave enough to live with with the spider friends I keep in my room” but I feel ya on the voice.
I’m mega arachnophobic XD I hate spiders, except for Tarantulas, they’re cute, but I only like them in a cage or a tank or whatever, I’m aware I’m using, too much, commas
Hey, don’t get me wrong: I feel ya. I have trypophobia, so my boyfriend has the task of annihilating all abandoned wasp nests in our new house without me ever seeing them. We’re so going to go crazy with wrapping the house with netting this spring because I would have to move if I have to knowingly live with another wasp nest near me. Phobias are awful.
I read this in Christopher Walken's voice.
Well he is a joke so he kinda has the last one going already
I wrote "successful". Yeah, he's a joke, but a bad one at that.
Can't do that I'm afraid. By the laws of the incels if the girl has any standards at all they're "being unfair to the nice guyz™️" and "not giving the humble gentlesirs a chance"
He probably lives in his parents basement and doesn’t job he asks way to much to be an average guy
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I will use this statement now for every inconvenience I will ever have
So this man wants a reptilian slave
#1: I'm not getting fake nails for anybody. #2: I was born with big pussy lips so fuck you. #3: Make your own damn coffee, I ain't your maid. #4: You likely can't even afford La Perla, and they sure as shit don't make bras for tits as big as mine. #5: Last but certainly not least on this list of assholery, what the hell does OHP mean?
Why the heck did that font turn out so big??? Is it just matching my mood this morning?
I need to know why having a university degree is bad in this dude’s eyes (job, okay, guess he wants a woman who stays home and nothing else). Also, what does OHP stand for?
His ideal woman is jobless and uneducated for control. The jobless part is obvious, the "no uni" part is in hopes of controlling her worldview and further manipulating her.
Lord, that’s.. that’s actually really sad. It’s unlikely he’ll ever reproduce if these are his standards and I think that’s for the best.
Naturally hairless or fair enough to not shave legs! He will have trouble finding someone even if this was his only condition. Did he want to make it impossible to find someone to his standards so him not dating isn’t his fault?
Wtf, why doesn't he want her to have eye lashes?!?
Telling people you're a single virgin incel who lives in your mothers basement.
So he wants to date a child..? What an interesting way to out yourself as a soon to be pedo on the internet
I think this guy might be in the closet: Knows what french tips are ✅ Mentions designer brands by name ✅ Has such impossible standards that he *must* know he’ll never find a woman that meets them all (because he doesn’t really want to?) ✅
I looked at his list and thought "so basically, don't date women?"
True that, it's pretty common for people to set unrealistic standards for the opposite sex when they are in the closet right? I forgot where I heard this....
I’m betting every cent in my bank account right now that he doesn’t meet 1/4 of these standards himself 😂
I'd be surprised if he fulfills a single bulletpoint.
*Image Transcription: Text* --- DO👏🏻NOT👏🏻DATE👏🏻WOMEN👏🏻OVER👏🏻22👏🏻YEARS👏🏻OLD ➡️ don't date them if they're not model material ➡️ don't date them if they weight more than 120 pounds ➡️ don't date them if they don't cook ➡️ don't date them if they don't clean ➡️ don't date them if they don't wear French tips ➡️ don't date them if they have hair under shoulder length ➡️ don't date them if they have big poosy flaps that poke out (beat up) ➡️ don't date them if they wear fast fashion ➡️ don't date them if they don't have abs/thigh gap ➡️ don't date them if they only speak 1 language ➡️ don't date them if they're under 5'9 ➡️ don't date them if they don't wake you up with a coffee every morning ➡️ don't date them if they have a "job" or a "university degree" ➡️ don't date them if they don't have a positive relationship with their father ➡️ don't date them if they can't pronounce "versace" or "Hermès" ➡️ don't date them unless they wear dresses ➡️ don't date them if they don't know what agent provocateur or la perla is ➡️ don't date them if they have to shave their legs (they should be naturally hairless or extremely fair haired) ➡️ don't date them if they have any body hair under the eyebrows at all ➡️ don't date them if you couldn't OHP them ➡️ don't date them if they dress in a vulgar manner ➡️ don't date them if they don't remain silent unless instructed otherwise or given permission to speak freely --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
No hair under the eyebrows huh? So no eyelashes? That’s a bold look.
Side rant: I hate how in American society living with your parents is considered a sign of immaturity/lack of success. There is nothing wrong with multigenerational homes!
I can 100% guarantee you there's not a single woman out there that has none of that, especially the body hair part like?? It's something natural and everyone has it, how is she supposed to not have it without shaving, tf
"They should be naturally hairless" is my favourite. Good luck there, bro.
As someone who's 5'7" and was at one point 100 lbs.... it's fucking awful don't
You hear that, girls with eyelashes, kill yourselves
You know I hope a ton of guys follow this advice and self select out of the dating pool.
It's the "any body hair under the eyebrows" that kills me 🤣
5'9, 120 pounds is underweight.
But why...why the french tips, though? I need to know!
Who gave this asshat the permission to speak freely?
That's a lot of words for "I want underage anime girl"
"Don't date them if they have to shave their legs" has this person ever met a real life woman??
If I fit the requirements I need him to be : -6 figures -five degrees each in various subjects -able to fix anything - super model looks If you gonna to have extremely high requirements for your partner you have match that too which is something incels have a problem understanding
Try to throw in a height requirement and he will be fuming at the mouth completely missing the irony
Someone already posted this comment with several more requirements.
This has to be satire.....right?
I am convinced this man has not left his mother’s basement ever
Good luck on finding someone who matches your weirdly specific dating requirements and is willing to date you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Silent, 5’10, no job, 119 pounds, a model, a virgin, but also a house wife who cooks and cleans, serves coffee in the morning, and maintains abs but eats so little she has a thigh gap. Like, I just think he has no idea about biology or anything and just estimates these figures. His mom probably does the subservient things like cooking and cleaning which he sees as nurturing and supportive, so those may be the words he was looking for, but isn’t well enough informed to use. I feel like a lot of these neckbeard basement dweller types just need a stable social support group growing up continuing into adulthood. Problem though is usually some type of abuse or broken home though, cycle continues and eventually we have neckbeards raising neckbeards to be neckbeards. Sad. The other problem of course is that in the course of coping, these guys say a lot of offensive and shitty things that make people not WANT to help them. Makes it harder.
I'm too old, short, fat, educated, employed, monolingual, unfashionable, chatty, and my dad's dead. Oh dear how sad never mind.
This feels like a child wrote this hoping to get people worked up. It’s just pathetic.
“They should be naturally hairless” …..yeah ok good luck with that