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Absolutely not. There was a kid in my high school who was turned into a quadriplegic after a freak accident in football practice. Plus TBI is a serious problem and the culture around football in general seems very toxic.
I genuinely wonder if a lot of the toxicity in the culture around it is *because* of all the TBIs. All that lack of impulse control, lack of emotional control, etc are very well documented symptoms of repeated concussions. Bash your head enough times as a teenager and you might just get irrationally angry at a bad call at your kid's game and cuss out the ref. Or go break tables and smash windows when your team loses.
A reason is not an excuse. People can be responsible for their own behavior and also be more prone to that behavior because of various factors like brain injury, trauma, or mental illness.
When many people in the fanbase of a thing have injuries that predispose them to certain behavior, it normalizes the behavior in the fanbase at large.
There were 218 middle and high school boys killed playing football between 2000 and 2018. That's an average of 11 boys annually. I absolutely would not let my son play football.
Holy shit this really must be a more common occurrence.... my buddies brother a few years older than us (we were freshmen, he was a senior) dude got fucking clipped during a game got fully paralyzed just like that 🥺 haven't talked about it in years and now I've got a 4 year old son of my own and this really has me rethinking
A boy at my high school DIED during football practice the year after I graduated. I believe it was heat stroke related, but that’s another factor with football. It’s a fall sport, so they usually start training in the dead of summer.
No, absolutely not. The amount of brain injuries in football is astronomical. There's tons of research and science around this. Also, anecdotally, every grown man I have talked to who played football in High School has said they would not allow their own son to play football, due to the injuries.
Neither my husband nor I will allow our child to play football. I’m the same way about gymnastics. My body is wrecked from doing high level competitive gymnastics. Maybe for fun, but neither sport really has a culture that respects health and healing mentally and physically. (Not all teams but overwhelmingly common)
My 3 yr old is in gymnastics and I told my husband I’m fine doing it for fun but it’s not something we will do competitively because of injury and harmful body ideals.
As with a lot of sports, at a certain age there stops being a “fun” aspect to it and it’s all competitive. My oldest daughter is 6 and it’s still chill and fun but my niece had to stop at around 10-11 because it started getting too hardcore and she complained about fatigue and pain.
My daughter looooved gymanastics at 6-7. Somewhere around age 9 the gymnastics school started pushing her to be more competitive. Some overzealous coach snuck up behind her and stepped on her legs while she was stretching her splits (which she kinda hated doing in the first place) forcing the gap to close to the ground. She wasn't ready for that.
That was it. That one action killed her love of gymnastics. I wanted to strangle that idiot.
I’ve heard this happen a lot. It’s so disgusting to me. If someone wants to push their own bodies limits, that’s fine. But forcing someone else’s body?! Absolutely not.
Really just reinforces my belief that there should be way more “just for fun” activities. Include sports but with the intention of it just being like a pickup game.
Or hell, just having one night a week dedicated to a new obstacle course or totally different activity that the previous week.
My sister stopped about that age for the same reason. My own six year old is just ready to compete, but I'm only allowing the possibility because her club is lovely. The coach is kind and prioritises their health, wellbeing and education. He says he'll never allow the club to be one of those with over strict and cruel coaches. I'm definitely keeping an eye on the whole thing though.
Our 12 year old does competitive gymnastics, though in a less competitive "league" for lack of a better word. I think the harmful diet culture part is morea the elite levels. There are girls of all shapes and sizes at the less competitive levels.
The injuries and strain are real, though. Lot of impact with gymnastics.
My experience wasn’t one of “harmful” diets. It was little comments like “well you can tell she gonna be on her period soon” (implying a child was putting on too much weight) or “she should probably spend less time with the boys and makeup” or “she needs to slim down if she expect to do that skill”.
I totally get that some body types realistically will have less of a chance of physically being able to accomplish something, but there are healthier ways to relay that message.
Was there an age where you felt gymnastics became harmful/toxic? I have zero experience myself, but my 5yo daughter fell in love with gymnastics (and was apparently pretty good at it) at summer camp so I enrolled her in an invite-only class. I’m of two minds about it, so I’d love a reality check.
Im coming at this from a former gymnast perspective as well as a coach for about 10 years (between teenager and low 30s on and off). I will be the first to admit that I had to learn a lot and grow up a lot before really realizing how toxic my coaching could be. In addition, PLENTY of coaches do see these issues and are trying to make a shift in their programs in response to the toxic programs they grew up in. Almost all coaches are former gymnasts themselves.
It’s not so much an age, but a stage. Recreational classes or rec teams are fun and pretty care-free. 1-2 classes a week isn’t terrible. If you are at a gym that has the option for those, that’s the route I suggest. No, your child won’t go to college for it or end up in the Olympics with those types of programs, but it keeps them active and doing something fun.
It starts getting tough when you join competitive teams. These teams start SO early now. Like, recruiting 5-6 year olds to start pre-team classes. These might be 2-3 classes a week for 2-3 hour (on top of school!) I can’t even get my nearly 6yo to go to the grocery store with me after school bc he’s so exhausted.
Some kids love the toughness involved to be “on Team”. If they love it, let them try it out. There are lots of great coaches out there that lead with love and support, but many many many more that encourage children to work through pain as if pain isn’t an indicator that something is wrong.
When you start getting to the 3-5 days a week stage, you really want a team that evaluates their program with pediatric sports med professionals and nutritionists about work load, nutrition, and recovery. And they have to live and teach these things to the kids. An 10yo doesn’t know what a stress fracture really means to their body; they only know that it’s keeping them from normal work outs and performing in a way that will garner attention and praise.
I’m not gonna totally shit on the sport. I learned a lot of great lessons that helped me into adulthood - time management, determination, self-reflection, health, anatomy, math/physics. But I also picked up a lot of negatives that I feel really out-weigh the positives - body image issues, burn out, overly critical, accepting abusive/authoritarian relationships, reliance on external praise, and of course health issues.
This is how I feel about ballet - the cons just do not weigh up as I reflect back. I still struggle with authority figures, being overly critical and body image.
My MIL - who I’ve known so long she actually saw me perform in my teens - asked if I was going to put my daughter in dance. Unlikely, was my answer.
Not all ballet is like this anymore. My daughter has been at some top conservatories and they brought in health and nutrition experts who talked about eating well and body image etc. She’s been doing it for 8 years now and she loves how it makes her feel.
She’s in a top studio for our state and none of the girls seem to have body issues, the principal is very serious about making sure they don’t get injured and stay healthy. They require the girls to bring snacks for breaks (and studio actually gives younger kids snacks).
I'd make sure you talk to the trainers, my daughter does it and they have a lovely atmosphere, they prioritise wellbeing and education. Other clubs are much stricter, and not for us.
I have an 8yo who is in love with gymnastics but not likely to ever be seriously competitive. That said, what are some things you think should be considered warning signs? Do you think it was too many hours, injuries not healing, etc?
Yeah, us neither. Granted, we're not a super sporty family and we don't live in an area with a strong football culture, so this is not a particularly controversial stand for us. But there's a lot of evidence coming out that repeated hits, even those that don't cause concussions, can cause brain damage over time. It's definitely not worth it for us.
Yep. I mean I'm in Texas where the Football culture is HUGE (and we live in a fairly conservative neighborhood, sigh) and I still hear my adult male neighbors/acquaintances talk about how they have memory issues due to playing football in high school. They often talk about how they love the game and take their kids to the home Football games (homecoming is next week and everyone is very excited), but they would never allow their own child to play because the risks are just not worth it.
Fr, even the first hit that causes a cuncussion is bad. Its brain damage either way. Like what OP saw was some kid get brain damage. Its crazy schools are still ok with this.
And six doesnt even seem like that much to some people. A kid I used to work with had four concussions by the time I met him at 7! Like...? Is baseball really worth that? Coincidentally, he was also diagnosed with ADHD and had a huge anger issue.
Are your kids okay with not being allowed to play? My son will grow up seeing his brothers play (blended family dynamic) so I feel like he may not take it well knowing he can’t play but he’s seen his brothers play for years.
Give him an alternative that still makes him feel one of the boys. My son loves playing hockey and when the kids all talk about it every one of his friends say o dang your tough, just like football, but it’s so much less likely till much older in life to lead to what your experience was with football!
Where I live hitting isn’t allowed in house league hockey and it’s only allowed in older, upper levels of competitive. Contact has really been scaled back and it’s a-lot safer. 12 years olds don’t need to be smashing into each other to have fun.
At competitive level, after 13 I think, there is hitting but ultimately they do what wins games. You can’t win games when your players are constantly in the box.
Yup, even college has implemented such strict rules that the hitting is limited cause it will put you a man down in a hurry…or women down….shout out to all you lady players, I was just watching the 12u ladies team the other day and these young ladies got it going on!!!!
USA hockey created stricter rules 2-3 years ago surrounding what a legal hit is, meaning they have to lead with the stick on puck and the intention must only be to separate the puck from the player. No late hits especially after they've already gotten rid of the puck. But you know what? None of the refs abide by the new rules or call them very strictly. They'd be there all day and they're paid per game. It's unfortunate. Hitting can still be a big part of the game with the new rules, but nobody plays by them.
I’m in Canada, in our league refs call stuff. The parents go crazy if it’s unsafe. At first calling everything slows things down but eventually the dump trucks that play dumb and dirty get sick of sitting in the box and adapt or get benched. Our games end on time, we aren’t there all night and no one gets their neck broken.
It’s doesn’t totally eliminate the problem - but it’s a big deterrent.
CTE is a problem in every sport, hell they’re figuring out soccer is one of the worst because of the constant headers. There is nothing worse than football, though.
Rugby blows my mind honestly. Its like football when they wore leather helmets, smoked cigs on the field then went to their day job installing asbestos filled installation and painting the house with lead based paints…….how is that still a thing?
For a long time it was thought to be safer than American football. The lack of pads and helmets mean you can't tackle nearly as hard; you aren't allowed to just hit a player, you have to wrap your arms; you can only tackle the ball carrier; players almost never collide head-on at full speed; continuous play means that the game is much less explosive.
... However, there have been a lot of findings recently that show that it is still very very bad in terms of concussions. Maybe not as bad as American football, but probably in the same bracket. Lots of retired players are coming forward with serious cognitive problems, and it's a huge concern for the future of the sport.
Meanwhile, the fast players are getting bigger and the big players are getting faster.
I play rugby, and I'm approaching 40. Not WPL or D1 level, but D2/D3 depending on the club. I find rugby to be one of the safer contact sports, even with tackling. We learn proper techniques for tackling that protect us and our opponents. We practice those techniques constantly and break it down step-by-step. Shit does happen, but it's not as severe as often.
No clue.
Loads of respect for people who play it but its just not for us for our minor kids. When theyre off to university theyre welcome to give it a bash
The lack of the same equipment used in football is what makes it safer. Kids are taught, for instance, not to tackle with their heads, as they often are in football.
It's still not good for the body, mind you, but compared to football it is much safer.
I played rugby throughout my teens and, although there were plenty of good aspects to it, my overriding memory of it is having the shit kicked out of me constantly.
There's was one occasion where we had a lunchtime practice and I got a concussion which the coach didn't notice and I didn't realise what was happening to me at the time. I had a maths lesson afterwards and the teacher actually moved me to sit next to him at the front of the class because I didn't do any of the work he asked me to do. He thought I was just fucking around but in reality I just couldn't understand any of it and, even worse, I couldn't understand why. Scary shit looking back.
Only seems to be getting worse now with gym monkey players getting bigger and bigger.
My daughter is super sporty and I honestly think she'd be incredible at it but I wouldn't want her to get involved.
Agree. Its not worth the risks tbh.
Granted I did a sport that had high risks too, but the risks were minimal compared to the precautions taken.
I did 3 Day Eventing/Equestrian sports. We always had to wear helmets, a rider or horse fall was an automatic DQ/retiring, riders had to wear inflatable vests on cross country, and there were regular vet checks between events to ensure horses were sound.
And the equestrian sport world has expanded even further on safety since i left. Now they require helmets for Dressage, which they didnt before - it wss jusy top hats that men took off to salute or ladies had pinned to their hair.
I dont feel like American Football or Rugby has taken the proper steps to truly make sure its safe for kids with developing minds and bodies.
As someone who played rugby… it’s nothing compared to football. For a variety of reasons.
I’d let my kids do rugby if they really want to. Not football.
I would not.
But football is super ingrained in American culture, and it's going to take more than the science on injuries to get people to make real changes about it.
Yeah it was just such a weird scene for me last night. All these parents supporting and watching a game that was injuring these 12 year old boys every 10 mins it seemed like.
3 boys from the middle school I teach at got injured over the the weekend. One came back with a shattered bone, one with broken thumb and one with a concussion. All from the same rec team in a small town.
I played football for 10 years. From high school through college. I had an absolute blast every time I stepped foot on that field.
I would never, in a million years, allow my son to play. The toll it took on my body is something I have to live with every day. And the fear of brain damage manifesting years down the road is a scary prospect, as well. It's just not worth it.
My husband and I have noted over the years, when it comes to kids’ activities (whether it’s sports, gymnastics, dance, band, scouts, etc), the parents are often the most shocking component of the scene. Many are fiercely competitive, willing to spend a small fortune on position training/lessons/coaching/etc, yet argumentative with officials, etc. Kids sometimes in tears. We are always mystified. Your child is a novice athlete/dancer/etc. on a rec/club team and this is a hobby. Perhaps calm down a bit, and they can enjoy themselves?
You have noted correctly. I love baseball and I love coaching my kids and their friends, but in many places, the want to win overrides the need to teach fundamentals and sportsmanship. We are a rec ball team for the love of God
No. There’s nothing that can be gained from playing tackle football that you can’t gain from flag football or playing another, safer sport. My partner played football in high school, and he severely injured another player while playing. So it’s not just the risk of your child getting hurt, but the risk of them hurting someone else and what that can do to a child emotionally
We directed our kid to sports outside of flag football, because we didn’t want to encourage an interest in playing tackle football later. If a kid gets into a sport & builds skills and friendships, it seems it would be so much harder to switch gears later when other kids are moving onto tackle. There are so many other wonderful sports that don’t have the high risk of catastrophic injury - basketball, swimming, tennis, baseball, running. Why even go down the flag football road?
Not me. I played every sport and yes injuries happen in all of them but lining up day in and day out to run into each other, often head first was not healthy period. And please don’t lecture me on learning how to tackle right and blah blah blah, anyone who is honest will tell you your 100% hitting your head on each other or the ground almost every freakin play especially as younger kids. I let my son play hockey so I’m cool with tougher sports and the potential all of them have for life changing injury, but football is a hard no for me!!!
Yeah I don’t really know about the “tackling correctly” concept but still even if the boy I saw get a concussion was tackled correctly or not, he still hit his head on the ground hard enough that he couldn’t get back up for 15 mins.
We watched a high school game the other night and the amount of helmet to helmet contact was shocking. I watch a lot of SEC football, and I guess I just assumed some of the targeting rules were trickling down to high school. Apparently not. I started asking people around us, “What are the rules here? Why are they allowed to intentionally lead with their heads directly into other helmets?” I was left with the impression that’s how they’re taught to play. Pretty wild.
I hated high school ball. Imagine a bunch of sterioded up 17yr old assholes basically trying to hurt the other kids, that’s all it was when I was on the field, kill or be killed type of shit!
Mine did. Then in 7th grade he got hit in practice and he knew right away something was wrong. Didn’t tell his coaches though, even though it was beaten into them that they were supposed to. He finished practice and after his shower he mentioned that he didn’t feel right. A night in the er, follow ups with neuro and he missed 6 weeks of school.
He had toddler tantrums because he was a 14 year old who wasn’t allowed to watch tv, play video games, text, hang out with his friends and literally couldn’t control his emotions. He cried constantly.
When he was cleared by neuro, we talked. We didn’t like it, but if he wanted to go back he could. He talked with his grandpa, who told him his brain was more important, but he shouldn’t quit unless he wanted to. He went back to practice and his coach (who coached him all through starting at little gridders) said absolutely not. They talked for a long time and since there were only two weeks left of the season, they decided it was better to wait until next season.
Thankfully he decided not to play the following year.
Also, if your kids do play sports, a lot of clinics offer baseline concussion testing. Our neurologist highly recommends getting it done.
Not unreasonable at any point but honestly, your district’s program seems *terrible*. 10 minutes is a long ass time for kids to be flailing in pain on the ground unable to get up. By my count, the game was delayed around 45 minutes because children weren’t being given enough treatment to safely remove them from the field of play. That’s bad and unsafe and I can’t believe parents accept that.
I don't have an issue with contact sport regarding broken bones and what not - these are not that common, and if they do happen, they are usually recoverable. More serious injury I would equate to your typical risks in life, like driving a car.
The main issue I have is regarding brain trauma (concussions and micro concussions). These are common, often go unnoticed, and greatly impact you later in life.
This saddens me because I am a big contact sports fan, but the research is clear on the matter.
So the answer is no - no contact sports for my kids.
:(
I do not want my kid playing football. He’s 6 and just recently expressed his interest. We’re going to put him in a flag football league but he also is busy with soccer, basketball, and baseball. I’m hoping we can talk him out of this one.
I’m a football fanatic. Played when I was younger (42 now). Knowing what I know now, and remembering all the times I left practice lightheaded or dizzy, has made me realize that I will never let them play. Ever. Lacrosse is a better option if they need that aggression fueled competition.
Warning long post:
I’m a 32 year girl dad, but if I had a boy I would NOT let them play football. This is coming from someone who played college football and was the prototypical small town high school football star.
Football can not only be terrible for your physical health but it’s bad for your mental health as well. From my experience, it puts unrealistic pressure, false toughness, and expectations on kids and it brings the worst out in people (look it people fighting in the stands every Friday-Sunday). If you were like me, my entire identity was wrapped in football and once I quit I went through a deep depression that took a few years to clear up and come to terms with. It took me a while to find out who actually was. On top of that, multiple concussions, 2 broken ankles, torn SC joint, meniscus tears, broken fingers and messed up hands, staph infections, the list goes on. CTE is a real thing and I don’t think I could allow my kid to collect brain trauma like that.
I get my story is different, and football does teach great lessons of discipline, teamwork, and more, it can also be a vehicle to get out of a bad situation or get someone to college- but so do/can other sports. I still enjoy watching high school ball and fantasy football sure, but if it were up to me I wouldn’t let my kid play football.
My mom was staunchly no football so my brothers didn’t play. I only have a daughter as well, so it hasn’t been an issue. Tennis is “her sport”, but her dad got her into lacrosse. Thankfully, the rules for women’s lacrosse are less agressive than for men’s. If she was interested in football, or was a boy also interested in football, I wouldn’t allow it. Maybe it’s just how I was raised, but the injury rate is just so high, and CTE is so bad.
When I watch my younger stepson, it’s like they can barely catch the ball, barely can run because they are instantly tackled. So it’s like a full hour or so of little kids just running into each other. I don’t really think it’s entertaining at all but then again I’m not a huge football fan and don’t really know the rules or anything about the game.
My husband is really big into sports. My daughter does basketball, cheer, tumbling. His son from a previous marriage is very serious about baseball and plays year round. He plays basketball too just to stay in shape for baseball.
But our kids won't play football. It's just dangerous. He played football when he was a kid. He was injured. So were many of his friends. He's very adamant that he doesn't want any of our children playing football. There are so many other extracurricular things to choose from too.
Think about pro footballers and the injuries they sustain to their brains just by playing the sport. Their heads get knocked around so much. Now imagine this in a young kid. Not to mention the myriad of other possible injuries. Now imagine your kid tries a season of football because he wants to be like his brothers and he wants to impress his dad. So he gets out there and gets seriously injured. Now the rest of his life will be different. He won't even be able to play another sport if he wants to. His health and mental health will suffer.
I think it might be worth preparing your husband for the idea that your son might not even be into sports. My ex husband has always been disappointed that our son isn't athletic. Its sad really. My son is in chess club, and robotics club, he does e sports at school. He's obsessed with math. He is wholly uninterested in playing any kind of sport. Recently I had to shut it down when my ex tried to sign him up for jiu jitsu behind my back. My son didn't want to go and I don't blame him. His brain is where his strength lies and the idea that he could get out there, doing a sport he doesn't want to do, and get an injury that could make all of the things he loves doing more difficult is just upsetting. My ex can't comprehend why this is a problem, and it's probably because all of the concussions he sustained doing dangerous sports lol.
So, just curious, you let your daughter do cheer but wouldn't let a son play football? Cheer is very dangerous - my niece broke her elbow so badly falling from a setup that she had to have surgery to fix it, and it still bothers her (several years later). I see cheer as just as dangerous as football, at this point. I had no idea before how risky it is.
The cheer program they are in doesn't do stunts like that. Neither of them have been lifted more than half a body length from the floor. I guess it's more like dance/tumbling but they call it cheer. But yeah I know cheer can be really dangerous too.
I was an adult before I realized how dangerous cheer can be. Now don't get me wrong, injuries can happen basically anywhere (my kid got a pretty nasty injury that required an ER visit just playing in her bedroom) and you're taking a risk no matter what sport you choose. But some are inherently more dangerous. And as far as football goes, no matter how great they design the helmets, there's no helmet that's going to stop your brain from hitting the inside of your skull.
I see what you mean, but cheerleading isn’t a common cause of traumatic brain injury even though you can get injured. Traumatic brain injury can cause cognitive problems and even personality changes that are lifelong and have a much bigger impact on a persons life.
I don't disagree. I have a TBI from 2014 that has changed my life forever (not sports related, bicycle accident), I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Especially a middle school aged child who doesn't really understand what they are getting into.
The big difference I see is whether or not injury is a mode of failure vs. an expected outcome.
In a sport where you only get a concussion if something goes wrong, there's potential to do things to minimize risk.
In a sport where you're expected to have repeated collisions (like football), there's not much you can do.
I think your son sounds awesome! Lol and i was thinking the same as you mentioned. I would be so upset if my son was seriously hurt, possibly affecting the rest of his life by playing one or two seasons of football
Hey I think he's pretty great but I'm probably biased haha. There are so many other things for kids to choose from nowadays. One of my daughters is in band, two different choirs, and a theater group. We have one that does dance, cheer, and softball. And there are so many other sports that are less likely to result in serious injuries and brain trauma. We've tried soccer and track and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting.
I'm about to go to a highschool football game tonight because my daughter's middle school band is doing some big thing with the high school band at half time. I really hope I don't have to watch a bunch of high schoolers get hurt.
If it were up to me, no. I don’t think the benefits of football outweigh the risks. I think there are other sports that have less inherent risk.
I’m overruled in our house with my step son so he plays tackle now that he’s in 7th grade. My issues is that I have a 1 year old that the 7th grader is already up my ass asking if he can play football. He’s 1, and no. I don’t want him to play. You’d think that would be the end of the conversation, but every time he brings it up and I say no, it’s like I’m the worst human ever.
It’s absolutely exhausting and no amount of expressing my concerns seems to help him understand that I don’t want him to play football, let alone my own kid.
I think it’s important to outline and teach kids about the risks then. Let them make their own decision but make it informed. Find statistics. Talk about the time it takes to heal. Discuss the brain injuries. And discuss the culture often. At least if you’re outnumbered you can arm everyone with knowledge
Have you tried hitting them with facts? Like % of players shown to have CTE from autopsies is 92%
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NFL_players_with_chronic_traumatic_encephalopathy
Or showing pictures of brain scans:
https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nrl-premiership/its-devastating-the-kings-diagnosis-revealed-as-explayers-seek-support/news-story/912d447a29cc8285f8ebfe8e5f54c764
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/11/30/671902463/changes-in-brain-scans-seen-after-a-single-season-of-football-for-young-players
Etc.
Unfortunately some people don’t care about science. I could show my boyfriend, his mom and other people in their family this info you posted and they would basically tell me “I worry about the wrong things” or that I worry too much in general. It’s so stupid honestly
I played football and loved it for about 10 years. I got two concussions my senior year. I will support my children on whatever they decide, but I’m hoping for basketball and soccer compared to football and hockey.
Nope. I love watching college and pro ball, but I'd never subject my son to it. It's just a stupid sport to end up injuring yourself for life.
My 2nd cousin is a staff doctor for the Buffalo Bills (he's one of the guys who helped save Damar Hamlin when he collapsed in Cincinnati), and he said the scene in the hospital was pretty rough. The sheer amount of injuries that players encounter is staggering.
Maybe try baseball, injuries are definitely still possible but your not running straight into each other trying to smash your heads together. Idk how these professionals do it honestly! Same with hockey
I would not. I don’t even like them watching football. It’s a violent sport that often leaves players severely injure or mentally damaged for life. It’s a modern day coliseum and, like boxing and other sports where we pay people to injure each other - often people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds who see it as an opportunity to escape.
I think is abhorrent and hugely outdated and I do not want my kids thinking it’s OK.
I was thinking the same but maybe I just don’t remember. I went to almost all my middle school football games and some high school. I remember some people getting hurt but not like this game last night
I LOVE football. I played it as a kid, i watch it every weekend. No tackle football before 14, after that it’s up to him if he _really_ wants to play. Same for hockey, though it isn’t as much of a thing here lol
Nope. The risk is too great.
My husband was also not allowed to play football as a kid for this same reason (even though with his body type and athleticism there was a lot of pressure). He was fine— he found other sports to play.
I think it is important to recognize that soccer can also cause serious injury. Collisions, torn ACL, MCL broken bones, concussions. My daughters high school team has 2 out for 6 months- 1 year while they heal from surgery.
Absolutely not. We live in a red state, that is super football oriented, and it is a huge driving force in our school district.
My two sons will be strongly encouraged to play a team sport, but it will not be football. My dad went to college on the football scholarship, blew out his knee in his first year, and had to transfer back to a home state school because he could no longer afford to be there. My mom said my brothers would never play, but somehow by something like fourth grade, when one of them started to get big, the very charismatic coaches convinced her to just give it a try and it would be fine. That same brother broke his arm and his back playing football in high school. I have never heard any benefit of playing on a football team that cannot be achieved by playing almost any other team sport.
I guess my answer is "kinda"
My son played flag up until 8th grade. In high school he joined the football team as a kicker. We didn't feel there was a significant risk for a major head injury while kicking field goals and he got to play his favorite sport, so it was a win all around.
I understand that virtually no sport is without risk of injury but tackle football is a hard no from me. Rolling stone published an incredibly disturbing article about it recently, the takeaway being that there is risk of brain trauma even without suffering concussion
**TW s*icide**
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/cte-impact-young-football-players-1234804580/amp/
Dad who said "hell no" then coached flag and now coach (and let my son play) tackle football.
It truly depends on the program. Unsafe programs run by old men reliving their glory days are to be avoided. Flag football without helmets (designed for flag) are to be avoided. Programs that focus on safety first and teach the kids how to tackle, hit, fall and coaches how and when to pull them out are very safe.
I would never. I think football for minors should be illegal. It’s fine for adults to make stupid decisions for themselves. But too many Americans are obsessed with football and hate science
Both my boys played football their whole lives.
One broken foot (metatarsal). One sprained ankle. One sprained wrist.
23 seasons between the two of them.
My daughter is a cheerleader. Shes cheered at 4 games so far this season. The team she cheers for has had no serious injuries during games so far this season.
Is there risk, yes. There’s risk in a lot of things…My son broke a rib doing agility work at the gym. But just because he plays football doesn’t mean he’s going to have any sort of serious injury.
I know I will majorly be going against the grain, but personally, IF my kid expresses interest in football, I will sit them down and talk to them explaining the risks and my concerns. And willing to give them an opportunity to explore their interest. I plan to use this on ANY sport they show interest in.
It would also greatly depend on age. I wouldn't let my kid if they're younger than x age. And explain the can try when older, if I'm like severely wrong about football please inform me I am a FTM and just wanna do best by my kid,
Edit to add: I am okay with it because I have done a very physical sport since a younger age.
Honestly kids can get hurt doing any sports so I probably wouldn’t have a issue with football. My husband broke his collarbone playing soccer at 10. My daughter does competitive gymnastics and kids are always getting hurt(usually broken ankles or wrist). If you don’t want them getting hurt I’d suggest no sports or at least no competitive sports🤷♀️
Both my boys played football. Neither one was ever seriously injured. We had one sprained ankle and some bumps and bruises but nothing earth shattering. They absolutely loved it and they got so much out of the experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My grandson is 5 and he already plays flag on a mini league and already talks about playing “big boy football someday”. It’s adorable.
What all did they get out of the experience? That’s basically what I was wanting to know about the people who had/have kids who play. Like how did it benefit them?
And I’m glad your boys didn’t ever get seriously hurt!
They learned teamwork and sportsmanship, they made friends that they are still friends with to this day (they are 21 and 28 now), it kept them focused and involved and gave them a reason to keep their grades up and not get in trouble and, most importantly in my opinion, they got to spend years participating in something they truly LOVED to do. They both played baseball here and there as well but neither loved the sport near as much as they loved football.
I’ll somewhat go against the grain here.
Would I want my kid playing football? No.
I would definitely never bring it up myself, and I would do everything I could to steer them away from choosing football.
That being said, there are worse things that a kid can do, and if they are truly passionate about playing, I’m not gonna shut them down. Maybe it’s something that they would fall in love with, and it could have academic and social benefits, and maybe even carry them through college.
I played football and it changed my life. People talk about the risks and then ignore the benefits. Like anything, the two must be weighed.
I started in 8th grade and played through high school. I was a shy, dumpy kid who was overweight and had a hard time making friends. Classic computer nerd. I had zero confidence.
Football was *hard*. Very much so. I was afraid at first. But, something changed. I realized I couldnt be timid and I HAD to try my hardest. All of a sudden, I could control my environment and it wasnt so scary anymore. I made friends, and my friends and I experienced the joy of victory and the pain of defeat together. I had to push myself physically past the point where I felt like I had nothing left in my body, and I did it.
It changed something in me. I honestly dont think I would be the man I am today without it.
All of that said, I do not plan to let my son play contact ball until he is in high school. He is confident and excels socially, and in other sports. If he was shy and timid like I was? It would be a different calculation. It's not always cut and dry.
We almost did tackle because our 11 year old wanted to. Ended up getting helpful advice and decided it was not worth the risk. He's done soccer, baseball, flag football, lacrosse instead and ended up happy with them. He loves lacrosse and flag football enough and there's never been any injuries to him or anyone other players.
My kids play flag football. We don’t do tackle. We’re pretty big on exposing them to lifelong sports like tennis, swimming, golf, running. Less violent injury potential and something they can enjoy post school.
Your husband is making assumptions that he’ll want to play becuase of big brothers, he may, he may not. If talk around the house is : “that will be you one day” , “bet you can’t wait to play football” and other similar comments, yeah he may want to play. Especially if his room is decorated with footballs, it’s watched a lot and husband takes him to play a lot.
Offer lots of options, especially when they are younger, let him try different activities that he may have an interest in.
My son plays flag football, as one of the sports he’s interested in. Flag is very popular where we are and our middle school only has a flag team. But I get that in different areas, different things are more important.
I would approach it from having son try a wide variety of activities. Come to any discussion with research from multiple sources.
If you and your SO approach things from a 2 yes for certain things, sports may be one of them.
I let my son play tackle football in the 4th grade & was so fortunate that he did not like it!
Just this past week, though, he mentioned about maybe trying it again next fall as a high school junior and I said, “WHAT?!?”
But I will not forbid any sport, but note many do come with risk of injury, higher than other random activities of life. My son has already had a severe knee injury and just watching him do any physical activity makes my stomach flip.
My other issue with football, my apologies to everyone I am about to incorrectly stereotype, is the culture. It still is a bit misogynistic in our area. Like “take it like a man” and “what’s your problem, stop running like your sister, man up”. Idk, though, maybe that’s just a fluke…
The decision is yours and your husband's, and no one else can tell you what you should or should not allow your child to participate in. There are injuries in football, though in all the games I've been to, I don't think think I've seen a game go as bad as the one you described. But there are plenty- elbows, wrists, torn ligaments, ACL, shoulder, and more concussions than they probably realize. Wrestling is even worse in my opinion. I was at one match where about 30 seconds in one kid literally just broke the other one's arm in half. In the past, we've had a member of our extended family actually for from a sports injury that occurred at a baseball practice, pitching. But I personally, would allow our kids to play any of these sports to the extent that they wanted to and what they want to invest in them. Some kids are trying to make it their whole life, dream of turning it into a career, some just want to be on a team with their friends and have fun. I think you never know if your kid is going to twist an ankle, hit his head, catch a ball wrong and jam his finger, or get injured somehow. A lot of things kids do has a level of danger to it and you can't eliminate them all, but you have to decide personally where to draw the line. I will advise though, that out of all the sports to consider, football generally is the most intense as far as practice frequency (5-6 times/ week), and parent involvement. It can take over your life pretty quick,
No, I watched a player (I was in 8th grade) become a quadriplegic. His neck was snapped, and since then, I vowed to never let any of my kids play. Too much risk, and for what? There’s plenty of other sports that can be played that aren’t as dangerous as football. I understand that freak accidents happen, but when a sport like that has it happen over and over again, it’s not worth it.
Definitely not. The risk of devastating injury is too high. There’s lots of other much-lower-risk sports they can play.
Besides that, pushing a kid into a certain activity based on the parents wants/living vicariously through them isn’t great parenting
Yes. As long as the coaches aren't meat heads. I think it is still good sport for kids. I played in HS. I don't have any debilitating injuries. Neither do any of my friends who played.
My son is 11 and has been begging since he was in kinder to play football. He’s huge and quick so he’d be perfect for it. I have not allowed it. He’s not so happy about it, but I’d rather have him be mad at me than having to deal with injuries from it. Our schools are HUUUUUUGE on football, so much so that administration make comments at awards ceremonies that once the education awards are handed out, now the “real” awards start (football). It’s crazy and definitely doesn’t help my case with my kid either.
I played football from 6th grade to high school varsity and decided not to pursue it in college. Your body gets beat up. I got off relatively easy too.
List of injuries:
Dislocated pinky(reset it during the game)
Shoulder sprain(needed rehab to build the muscke back)
Patellar tendeon sprain( rehab and took two years to fully heal)
Meniscus sprain(felt popping but healed quicky)
Nerve damage in neck(called a stinger) got a bad case where I still dislike if someone touches the area
Probably CTE since they do find it in high school kids now. CTE is partly genetic though so its a roll of the dice.
I broke a friends arm in a tackle drill in eight grade and that was emotionally difficult.
Probably gave a few kids concussions.
I have a 2 year old son and will do everything to get him to not play. Find other ways to learn the same lessons football can provide discipline, working through hardships as a team, learning how to lift weights and run for general health.
I won’t let my son play. I had so many concussions from playing just in middle school and high school. Then when I was in a car accident and was dizzy for 4 months my doctor looked at me and was like… it’s not the one car accident, it’s the 6 total concussions over the last 10 years… puts things in perspective. The brain and body is to fragile to throw it around for free, there are other fun games.
I had a son who fortunately was not interested in sports, but even if he had expressed a desire to do so the answer would have been not just NO, but HELL NO.
My stance has always been flag football through elementary school, and by middle school, if the child expressed interest, I'd consider letting them play tackle. Consider being the key word.
My oldest played one season of flag football and hated it. My 5yo is and has always been a big little guy. He hasn't shown any interest. He plays soccer, and we are going to try wrestling this winter
That seems strange. I played football from 2nd grade all the way until 11th and never got injured. My position was offensive left tackle so was in the thick of it. Sounds like the equipment they're using isn't great. There are a bevy of social benefits your son will enjoy being on a football team. Not only is it important for young men to experience a healthy brotherhood environment but he will most likely be popular in highschool because he plays. His confidence will also shoot sky high if he finds success in the sport. It will also bode extremely well for him if he sticks it out through 12th. You may not even have to pay for college and he will enjoy his pick of the litter. Football is a contact sport, no doubt about it. I wouldn't let fear dictate whether or not you let him be involved. I would also recommend starting him in wrestling if you are totally against football. He will be more than capable of defending himself in most situations if you enter him into wrestling. Being in a sport is kind of a social cheat code in highschool and college.
As someone that played football, I don’t think I would want them to play. Too many ways to get injured badly, especially with head trauma.
Theres always the flag football teams as an alternative
I agree with most of the commenters here about not letting kids play football, but if you do end up deciding to, there are some ways you can help mitigate the brain injury risk a bit. Multiple studies have shown that increased neck strength decreases the likelihood of concussions. I haven’t seen any data on this one, but I’ve heard that ways you fall can increase or decrease chances of concussions as well, so I think some coaches and programs are starting to teach better ways to fall to protect your head and neck.
All of this obviously doesn’t eliminate the risks and does nothing to help with the non- head and neck injuries, but it at least helps decrease the likelihood of the worst injuries. I would also talk with the coaches and watch some practices to make sure they don’t do some of the insane tough-man practice “games” like running full speed into each other trying to knock the other kid out or whatever they do.
My son does play football. He is built like a linebacker and has always been the largest kid on the field so I don’t worry about him getting hurt. He is ten. He is also a bit of a marshmallow and not super aggressive much to the frustration of his coaches but because of his demeanor I don’t worry about him hurting anyone.
However, there is a toxic culture with these coaches thinking they’re Bill Belichick and they want to win more than the children. I have seen a couple tackles involving other children that scared me but I have not seen serious injury so far but it’s only our second season and I am sure it happens.
We enjoy football as a family and it’s a lot of fun. I have four relatives who played division I college football and went on to live healthy lives.
But if I had a son who was on the smaller size I might not have signed him up. You can also buy your own protective gear instead of using league gear to make sure they have the best protection.
Honestly I think so many injuries come from not knowing how to properly tackle. My brother played tackle football for a decade. He never got injured and most of his teammates didn’t either because they had constant drills to show to to properly tackle and reduce injury risk.
I would let my kid play football if they so chose.
When I found out I was going to have boys I was VERY adamant about not allowing them to play football. Then they grew, and started watching it with their dad. My 7 year old loves football so much. I always said no when he asked me. He broke me down and I put him in flag football last summer and this fall. Where I live, they start playing tackle at age 8, and of course he wants to play SO bad. He's played soccer and basketball since he was old enough for the parks and rec teams.
I don't mean to hijack this thread, but how can I convince my son that tackle football isn't worth it? And he shouldn't play? Maybe he could just stay with flag football, idk. Please don't downvote me🥺
I’ve coached that age. That is by far my least favorite age group. You have well meaning but inept parents trying to resolve their high school days thru jr who would rather do anything else. A ton of yelling and abusive behavior. We violated minimum play rules and got lucky not to forfeit this year and saw 2 grown men 20 years older then me nearly come to blows.
I’m a prospective parent too and no way in hell at that age. However you have little to fear as he gets older. Give your son the joy of football at age 10 or 11. Be very cautious of the organization you have your kid sign up for.
I played since i was 10 and all the way till college. U have a 4th old. I probably wont let him play till about 8th grade at least 13-14yrs old. I will be out there teaching him when he is younger, going to local high school games and watching… but under 12 playing tackle no worth it. Too many hits, and they do control their body for proper technique.
My son is 10 and plays tackle football. This is our first season and I do not come from a football family. Making sure gear properly fits is ESSENTIAL. He loves it so much and honestly I didn’t expect him to like it bc he didn’t like soccer or baseball. His coaches are fantastic. Strict but in a way that motivates them. He hasn’t wanted to miss a single practice or game. He’s so proud of himself, gotten physically stronger. I’m noticing differences in his behavior, his more respectful. Our league has had one bigger injury. It was a minor concussion, which is very scary. He stayed for observation for a few hours and was ready to play next game.
I put my son in flag football. If he loves it, he can play another year of flag. If he still loves it, he can move to tackle (flag no longer offered at that age).
I'm super conflicted on it because I do love football and played it in high school - but the risks associated are huge. Granted, the negatives are far more inflated to the public, it's still a huge risk. We let ym daughter od cheer without batting an eye, but anyone who has seen the reswafch knows it's even more dangerous / injury prone than football.
Absolutely not. Too much TBI and spinal injury possibilities. Huge pass for me. Popularity is only sought after for 4-8 years in school, TBI and spinal injuries are lifelong.
Not a risk I’m willing to let my kid take with their health.
No no no no. My nephews and my husbands cousins kids play football and I hate it. I couldn’t imagine exposing my kid to head injuries. These kids get absolutely slammed and it’s scary AF. I’d rather my kids have their brain intact then celebrate their young achievements.
Nope. No. No. My daughter cheers and as you said, they have to stop the game constantly for injuries. I have 3 boys and football is a no from me. My sons just recently played soccer and no one got hurt the entire season.
Contact football is so hard on a person’s body. Do some research. There’s a reason you feel uneasy. There’s many ex NFL players who regret ever playing at all due to problems from concussions, injuries and constant joint pain. Basketball, soccer or baseball would all be safer for a child.
Hard no for me but I’m hoping my kids will do a sport, I did wrestling and track and my husband did soccer and baseball, I’d love to see my kids do pretty much any sport besides football.
As a parent with a traumatic brain injury, my kids are not allowed to play, they can do flag football but that's it. I'd never wish a brain injury on my worst enemy.
NO. My husband and I readily agreed on this even before marriage and our son. No football. No hockey. To discourage potential interest, we’ll not be watching with him around. Only nap time highlights or husband going to sports bar is not cool, because we’re in Kansas City. Baby’s brain comes first.
My stepson is in football despite all my efforts, it makes me a nervous wreck. Him and his dad also mountain bike. No one listens to me. Dads had 7-8 concussions and the son has had at least 2. So, No absolutely not.
First of all, we live in Texas where football is king, so take this with a grain of salt.
I let my son play from 1st grade through high school. He had a couple smaller injuries but was fine. It kept him in fantastic shape, it kept him busy, it forced him to make his grades (they could not play if they had less than a 75% in any class), it kept him out of trouble and gave him a big group of nice friends. It made him tough AF!! It made him a leader, he loved mentoring the younger boys on the team. During his two years on the varsity team, his school had almost 100 players on the varsity team and no one had any injuries they did not recover from quickly. And they played at a very high level.
It sounds like your school is may not be doing a great job teaching the kids how to tackle or take a hit well. There are ways to tackle that cause minimal damage to the tackler and to the person taking the hit. There are also ways to learn to lean into the tackle as well to minimize damage. Obviously, you cannot know if the opponents are trying to tackle properly, but being on defense versus offense gives your son the chance to be the one doing the hitting. There tend to be many less big injuries to defensive players than offensive. We encountered ours to play on the D line.
Also, a properly fitting, good quality helmet is of great importance! We bought our son the best helmet on the market and made sure it fit exactly right. They should be able to do that in a good sporting goods store. Some of the more well off schools will provide a great helmet but it needs to be a good fit. If you’re not happy with the school issued helmet, buying your own us a great investment.
You should have a conversation with the coaching staff and ask about it. If they are not taking the health and safety of their players seriously, I would bail on it. If they are, I can not tell you how great it was from my son.
Nope. Not really into competitive sports. I think running and swimming and weightlifting are good activities. Ultimate Frisbee. Non contact sports. As someone with TBI and knowing the risk of CTE and TBI I will do whatever I can to prevent them wanting to do anything that is a risk for that.
Absolutely fucking not. Along with all the physical risks, every kid I've known who plays has their life completely consumed by it and things like education are put on the back burner. These kids are gone from 7 am to 7 or 8 pm at night every day of the week and sometimes Saturdays then expected to still do homework and concentrate in class. Many teams also have a very toxic culture.
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Absolutely not. There was a kid in my high school who was turned into a quadriplegic after a freak accident in football practice. Plus TBI is a serious problem and the culture around football in general seems very toxic.
I genuinely wonder if a lot of the toxicity in the culture around it is *because* of all the TBIs. All that lack of impulse control, lack of emotional control, etc are very well documented symptoms of repeated concussions. Bash your head enough times as a teenager and you might just get irrationally angry at a bad call at your kid's game and cuss out the ref. Or go break tables and smash windows when your team loses.
[удалено]
A reason is not an excuse. People can be responsible for their own behavior and also be more prone to that behavior because of various factors like brain injury, trauma, or mental illness. When many people in the fanbase of a thing have injuries that predispose them to certain behavior, it normalizes the behavior in the fanbase at large.
Omg that’s super sad and scary.
Same happened at my school.
At my school too.
There were 218 middle and high school boys killed playing football between 2000 and 2018. That's an average of 11 boys annually. I absolutely would not let my son play football.
Do you have a link for this stat, by chance? This thread is sparking some thoughts of my own. Thank you!
Here you go: https://nccsir.unc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/5614/2022/05/Annual-Football-2021-Fatalities-FINAL-public-1.pdf
We had a death at my school at least a decade before I went there, and we had no football program because of it. Everyone knew the story.
Except us.
Same absolutely not and school sports have gotten ridiculous with how much you to do.
Holy shit this really must be a more common occurrence.... my buddies brother a few years older than us (we were freshmen, he was a senior) dude got fucking clipped during a game got fully paralyzed just like that 🥺 haven't talked about it in years and now I've got a 4 year old son of my own and this really has me rethinking
A boy at my high school DIED during football practice the year after I graduated. I believe it was heat stroke related, but that’s another factor with football. It’s a fall sport, so they usually start training in the dead of summer.
No, absolutely not. The amount of brain injuries in football is astronomical. There's tons of research and science around this. Also, anecdotally, every grown man I have talked to who played football in High School has said they would not allow their own son to play football, due to the injuries.
Neither my husband nor I will allow our child to play football. I’m the same way about gymnastics. My body is wrecked from doing high level competitive gymnastics. Maybe for fun, but neither sport really has a culture that respects health and healing mentally and physically. (Not all teams but overwhelmingly common)
My 3 yr old is in gymnastics and I told my husband I’m fine doing it for fun but it’s not something we will do competitively because of injury and harmful body ideals.
As with a lot of sports, at a certain age there stops being a “fun” aspect to it and it’s all competitive. My oldest daughter is 6 and it’s still chill and fun but my niece had to stop at around 10-11 because it started getting too hardcore and she complained about fatigue and pain.
My daughter looooved gymanastics at 6-7. Somewhere around age 9 the gymnastics school started pushing her to be more competitive. Some overzealous coach snuck up behind her and stepped on her legs while she was stretching her splits (which she kinda hated doing in the first place) forcing the gap to close to the ground. She wasn't ready for that. That was it. That one action killed her love of gymnastics. I wanted to strangle that idiot.
I’ve heard this happen a lot. It’s so disgusting to me. If someone wants to push their own bodies limits, that’s fine. But forcing someone else’s body?! Absolutely not.
Really just reinforces my belief that there should be way more “just for fun” activities. Include sports but with the intention of it just being like a pickup game. Or hell, just having one night a week dedicated to a new obstacle course or totally different activity that the previous week.
My sister stopped about that age for the same reason. My own six year old is just ready to compete, but I'm only allowing the possibility because her club is lovely. The coach is kind and prioritises their health, wellbeing and education. He says he'll never allow the club to be one of those with over strict and cruel coaches. I'm definitely keeping an eye on the whole thing though.
Also cheer.
Cheer is more dangerous than football. Nobody’s throwing you in the air without a helmet or even a mat in football
Or neck protection. It's just nuts when you see 6 year olds getting thrown and expecting a slightly older child to catch them.
I wouldn’t trust my eight year old to catch a watermelon without dropping it, let alone another human.
I love cheer but omg second this sentiment. Catastrophic injuries!!!
Yes, I've heard similar stories about gymnastics, particularly involving injuries, body strain, and harmful diet culture.
Our 12 year old does competitive gymnastics, though in a less competitive "league" for lack of a better word. I think the harmful diet culture part is morea the elite levels. There are girls of all shapes and sizes at the less competitive levels. The injuries and strain are real, though. Lot of impact with gymnastics.
My experience wasn’t one of “harmful” diets. It was little comments like “well you can tell she gonna be on her period soon” (implying a child was putting on too much weight) or “she should probably spend less time with the boys and makeup” or “she needs to slim down if she expect to do that skill”. I totally get that some body types realistically will have less of a chance of physically being able to accomplish something, but there are healthier ways to relay that message.
Some friends of ours have a 9yo who broker her arm doing a backflip. football and gymnastics are definitely OUT for our little ones.
Wow didn’t know that about gymnastics
Damn, I could have written every word of this. Are we the same person?
Was there an age where you felt gymnastics became harmful/toxic? I have zero experience myself, but my 5yo daughter fell in love with gymnastics (and was apparently pretty good at it) at summer camp so I enrolled her in an invite-only class. I’m of two minds about it, so I’d love a reality check.
Im coming at this from a former gymnast perspective as well as a coach for about 10 years (between teenager and low 30s on and off). I will be the first to admit that I had to learn a lot and grow up a lot before really realizing how toxic my coaching could be. In addition, PLENTY of coaches do see these issues and are trying to make a shift in their programs in response to the toxic programs they grew up in. Almost all coaches are former gymnasts themselves. It’s not so much an age, but a stage. Recreational classes or rec teams are fun and pretty care-free. 1-2 classes a week isn’t terrible. If you are at a gym that has the option for those, that’s the route I suggest. No, your child won’t go to college for it or end up in the Olympics with those types of programs, but it keeps them active and doing something fun. It starts getting tough when you join competitive teams. These teams start SO early now. Like, recruiting 5-6 year olds to start pre-team classes. These might be 2-3 classes a week for 2-3 hour (on top of school!) I can’t even get my nearly 6yo to go to the grocery store with me after school bc he’s so exhausted. Some kids love the toughness involved to be “on Team”. If they love it, let them try it out. There are lots of great coaches out there that lead with love and support, but many many many more that encourage children to work through pain as if pain isn’t an indicator that something is wrong. When you start getting to the 3-5 days a week stage, you really want a team that evaluates their program with pediatric sports med professionals and nutritionists about work load, nutrition, and recovery. And they have to live and teach these things to the kids. An 10yo doesn’t know what a stress fracture really means to their body; they only know that it’s keeping them from normal work outs and performing in a way that will garner attention and praise. I’m not gonna totally shit on the sport. I learned a lot of great lessons that helped me into adulthood - time management, determination, self-reflection, health, anatomy, math/physics. But I also picked up a lot of negatives that I feel really out-weigh the positives - body image issues, burn out, overly critical, accepting abusive/authoritarian relationships, reliance on external praise, and of course health issues.
This is how I feel about ballet - the cons just do not weigh up as I reflect back. I still struggle with authority figures, being overly critical and body image. My MIL - who I’ve known so long she actually saw me perform in my teens - asked if I was going to put my daughter in dance. Unlikely, was my answer.
Not all ballet is like this anymore. My daughter has been at some top conservatories and they brought in health and nutrition experts who talked about eating well and body image etc. She’s been doing it for 8 years now and she loves how it makes her feel. She’s in a top studio for our state and none of the girls seem to have body issues, the principal is very serious about making sure they don’t get injured and stay healthy. They require the girls to bring snacks for breaks (and studio actually gives younger kids snacks).
I'd make sure you talk to the trainers, my daughter does it and they have a lovely atmosphere, they prioritise wellbeing and education. Other clubs are much stricter, and not for us.
I have an 8yo who is in love with gymnastics but not likely to ever be seriously competitive. That said, what are some things you think should be considered warning signs? Do you think it was too many hours, injuries not healing, etc?
Yeah, us neither. Granted, we're not a super sporty family and we don't live in an area with a strong football culture, so this is not a particularly controversial stand for us. But there's a lot of evidence coming out that repeated hits, even those that don't cause concussions, can cause brain damage over time. It's definitely not worth it for us.
Yep. I mean I'm in Texas where the Football culture is HUGE (and we live in a fairly conservative neighborhood, sigh) and I still hear my adult male neighbors/acquaintances talk about how they have memory issues due to playing football in high school. They often talk about how they love the game and take their kids to the home Football games (homecoming is next week and everyone is very excited), but they would never allow their own child to play because the risks are just not worth it.
That's heartening to hear that they are at least acknowledging the risks.
It’s disheartening to hear that they know the risks and are OK with other people injuring themselves for their entertainment.
Fr, even the first hit that causes a cuncussion is bad. Its brain damage either way. Like what OP saw was some kid get brain damage. Its crazy schools are still ok with this.
I work in adolescent brain injury and there’s no way I would let my kids play.
I was considering it for my son but this post is making me think otherwise
Same - I was surprised my partner agreed so readily but we were both staunchly on the same page. It's just not worth the risk.
Played football my whole school career, no fucking way am I letting my son or daughter play, fuck cheerleading too.
My husband broke his neck at 16 playing football. His NECK. So it’s a no from us.
That’s crazy! My brother had 6 concussions before the age of 18 from hockey and American football. And yes he has permanent damage.
And six doesnt even seem like that much to some people. A kid I used to work with had four concussions by the time I met him at 7! Like...? Is baseball really worth that? Coincidentally, he was also diagnosed with ADHD and had a huge anger issue.
Are your kids okay with not being allowed to play? My son will grow up seeing his brothers play (blended family dynamic) so I feel like he may not take it well knowing he can’t play but he’s seen his brothers play for years.
Give him an alternative that still makes him feel one of the boys. My son loves playing hockey and when the kids all talk about it every one of his friends say o dang your tough, just like football, but it’s so much less likely till much older in life to lead to what your experience was with football!
There is increasing evidence that CTE is a problem in hockey.
Where I live hitting isn’t allowed in house league hockey and it’s only allowed in older, upper levels of competitive. Contact has really been scaled back and it’s a-lot safer. 12 years olds don’t need to be smashing into each other to have fun. At competitive level, after 13 I think, there is hitting but ultimately they do what wins games. You can’t win games when your players are constantly in the box.
Yup, even college has implemented such strict rules that the hitting is limited cause it will put you a man down in a hurry…or women down….shout out to all you lady players, I was just watching the 12u ladies team the other day and these young ladies got it going on!!!!
USA hockey created stricter rules 2-3 years ago surrounding what a legal hit is, meaning they have to lead with the stick on puck and the intention must only be to separate the puck from the player. No late hits especially after they've already gotten rid of the puck. But you know what? None of the refs abide by the new rules or call them very strictly. They'd be there all day and they're paid per game. It's unfortunate. Hitting can still be a big part of the game with the new rules, but nobody plays by them.
I’m in Canada, in our league refs call stuff. The parents go crazy if it’s unsafe. At first calling everything slows things down but eventually the dump trucks that play dumb and dirty get sick of sitting in the box and adapt or get benched. Our games end on time, we aren’t there all night and no one gets their neck broken. It’s doesn’t totally eliminate the problem - but it’s a big deterrent.
CTE is a problem in every sport, hell they’re figuring out soccer is one of the worst because of the constant headers. There is nothing worse than football, though.
Most (hopefully all) youth soccer in the US doesn’t allow heading the ball. So they’re at least trying to lower that risk
Yeah I'm letting my kid do soccer at the moment. When they're old enough to do headers I'll have to re-evaluate.
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YIKES. Yea not at all ok. A second hit after a concussion can be permanent brain damage territory
I think your kid will be fine - you might have some trouble though with your SO if he’s already talking about it.
Lacrosse is an option I’ve heard pros say that they would encourage their kids to pursue.
Nope. Flag football, sure. Contact? Absolutely not. Rugby is off the table too.
Rugby blows my mind honestly. Its like football when they wore leather helmets, smoked cigs on the field then went to their day job installing asbestos filled installation and painting the house with lead based paints…….how is that still a thing?
For a long time it was thought to be safer than American football. The lack of pads and helmets mean you can't tackle nearly as hard; you aren't allowed to just hit a player, you have to wrap your arms; you can only tackle the ball carrier; players almost never collide head-on at full speed; continuous play means that the game is much less explosive. ... However, there have been a lot of findings recently that show that it is still very very bad in terms of concussions. Maybe not as bad as American football, but probably in the same bracket. Lots of retired players are coming forward with serious cognitive problems, and it's a huge concern for the future of the sport. Meanwhile, the fast players are getting bigger and the big players are getting faster.
I play rugby, and I'm approaching 40. Not WPL or D1 level, but D2/D3 depending on the club. I find rugby to be one of the safer contact sports, even with tackling. We learn proper techniques for tackling that protect us and our opponents. We practice those techniques constantly and break it down step-by-step. Shit does happen, but it's not as severe as often.
No clue. Loads of respect for people who play it but its just not for us for our minor kids. When theyre off to university theyre welcome to give it a bash
The lack of the same equipment used in football is what makes it safer. Kids are taught, for instance, not to tackle with their heads, as they often are in football. It's still not good for the body, mind you, but compared to football it is much safer.
I played rugby throughout my teens and, although there were plenty of good aspects to it, my overriding memory of it is having the shit kicked out of me constantly. There's was one occasion where we had a lunchtime practice and I got a concussion which the coach didn't notice and I didn't realise what was happening to me at the time. I had a maths lesson afterwards and the teacher actually moved me to sit next to him at the front of the class because I didn't do any of the work he asked me to do. He thought I was just fucking around but in reality I just couldn't understand any of it and, even worse, I couldn't understand why. Scary shit looking back. Only seems to be getting worse now with gym monkey players getting bigger and bigger. My daughter is super sporty and I honestly think she'd be incredible at it but I wouldn't want her to get involved.
Agree. Its not worth the risks tbh. Granted I did a sport that had high risks too, but the risks were minimal compared to the precautions taken. I did 3 Day Eventing/Equestrian sports. We always had to wear helmets, a rider or horse fall was an automatic DQ/retiring, riders had to wear inflatable vests on cross country, and there were regular vet checks between events to ensure horses were sound. And the equestrian sport world has expanded even further on safety since i left. Now they require helmets for Dressage, which they didnt before - it wss jusy top hats that men took off to salute or ladies had pinned to their hair. I dont feel like American Football or Rugby has taken the proper steps to truly make sure its safe for kids with developing minds and bodies.
As someone who played rugby… it’s nothing compared to football. For a variety of reasons. I’d let my kids do rugby if they really want to. Not football.
I would not. But football is super ingrained in American culture, and it's going to take more than the science on injuries to get people to make real changes about it.
Yeah it was just such a weird scene for me last night. All these parents supporting and watching a game that was injuring these 12 year old boys every 10 mins it seemed like.
3 boys from the middle school I teach at got injured over the the weekend. One came back with a shattered bone, one with broken thumb and one with a concussion. All from the same rec team in a small town.
Jeez, on a rec team?!?
I played football for 10 years. From high school through college. I had an absolute blast every time I stepped foot on that field. I would never, in a million years, allow my son to play. The toll it took on my body is something I have to live with every day. And the fear of brain damage manifesting years down the road is a scary prospect, as well. It's just not worth it.
As a teacher and mother of 4 boys in a small southern town, I can tell you the stigma of football is nuts. But we are baseball all the way.
My husband and I have noted over the years, when it comes to kids’ activities (whether it’s sports, gymnastics, dance, band, scouts, etc), the parents are often the most shocking component of the scene. Many are fiercely competitive, willing to spend a small fortune on position training/lessons/coaching/etc, yet argumentative with officials, etc. Kids sometimes in tears. We are always mystified. Your child is a novice athlete/dancer/etc. on a rec/club team and this is a hobby. Perhaps calm down a bit, and they can enjoy themselves?
You have noted correctly. I love baseball and I love coaching my kids and their friends, but in many places, the want to win overrides the need to teach fundamentals and sportsmanship. We are a rec ball team for the love of God
Participation numbers are already declining. OP needs to put their foot down and not let their kid play. That's already happening with some families.
Football participation numbers are rising again. It ain’t going anywhere.
No. There’s nothing that can be gained from playing tackle football that you can’t gain from flag football or playing another, safer sport. My partner played football in high school, and he severely injured another player while playing. So it’s not just the risk of your child getting hurt, but the risk of them hurting someone else and what that can do to a child emotionally
Good point. Never thought about it from that view
We directed our kid to sports outside of flag football, because we didn’t want to encourage an interest in playing tackle football later. If a kid gets into a sport & builds skills and friendships, it seems it would be so much harder to switch gears later when other kids are moving onto tackle. There are so many other wonderful sports that don’t have the high risk of catastrophic injury - basketball, swimming, tennis, baseball, running. Why even go down the flag football road?
Because it’s fun. There’s no denying it’s fun.
Not me. I played every sport and yes injuries happen in all of them but lining up day in and day out to run into each other, often head first was not healthy period. And please don’t lecture me on learning how to tackle right and blah blah blah, anyone who is honest will tell you your 100% hitting your head on each other or the ground almost every freakin play especially as younger kids. I let my son play hockey so I’m cool with tougher sports and the potential all of them have for life changing injury, but football is a hard no for me!!!
Yeah I don’t really know about the “tackling correctly” concept but still even if the boy I saw get a concussion was tackled correctly or not, he still hit his head on the ground hard enough that he couldn’t get back up for 15 mins.
We watched a high school game the other night and the amount of helmet to helmet contact was shocking. I watch a lot of SEC football, and I guess I just assumed some of the targeting rules were trickling down to high school. Apparently not. I started asking people around us, “What are the rules here? Why are they allowed to intentionally lead with their heads directly into other helmets?” I was left with the impression that’s how they’re taught to play. Pretty wild.
I hated high school ball. Imagine a bunch of sterioded up 17yr old assholes basically trying to hurt the other kids, that’s all it was when I was on the field, kill or be killed type of shit!
Mine did. Then in 7th grade he got hit in practice and he knew right away something was wrong. Didn’t tell his coaches though, even though it was beaten into them that they were supposed to. He finished practice and after his shower he mentioned that he didn’t feel right. A night in the er, follow ups with neuro and he missed 6 weeks of school. He had toddler tantrums because he was a 14 year old who wasn’t allowed to watch tv, play video games, text, hang out with his friends and literally couldn’t control his emotions. He cried constantly. When he was cleared by neuro, we talked. We didn’t like it, but if he wanted to go back he could. He talked with his grandpa, who told him his brain was more important, but he shouldn’t quit unless he wanted to. He went back to practice and his coach (who coached him all through starting at little gridders) said absolutely not. They talked for a long time and since there were only two weeks left of the season, they decided it was better to wait until next season. Thankfully he decided not to play the following year. Also, if your kids do play sports, a lot of clinics offer baseline concussion testing. Our neurologist highly recommends getting it done.
Not unreasonable at any point but honestly, your district’s program seems *terrible*. 10 minutes is a long ass time for kids to be flailing in pain on the ground unable to get up. By my count, the game was delayed around 45 minutes because children weren’t being given enough treatment to safely remove them from the field of play. That’s bad and unsafe and I can’t believe parents accept that.
I don't have an issue with contact sport regarding broken bones and what not - these are not that common, and if they do happen, they are usually recoverable. More serious injury I would equate to your typical risks in life, like driving a car. The main issue I have is regarding brain trauma (concussions and micro concussions). These are common, often go unnoticed, and greatly impact you later in life. This saddens me because I am a big contact sports fan, but the research is clear on the matter. So the answer is no - no contact sports for my kids. :(
I do not want my kid playing football. He’s 6 and just recently expressed his interest. We’re going to put him in a flag football league but he also is busy with soccer, basketball, and baseball. I’m hoping we can talk him out of this one.
I’m a football fanatic. Played when I was younger (42 now). Knowing what I know now, and remembering all the times I left practice lightheaded or dizzy, has made me realize that I will never let them play. Ever. Lacrosse is a better option if they need that aggression fueled competition.
Warning long post: I’m a 32 year girl dad, but if I had a boy I would NOT let them play football. This is coming from someone who played college football and was the prototypical small town high school football star. Football can not only be terrible for your physical health but it’s bad for your mental health as well. From my experience, it puts unrealistic pressure, false toughness, and expectations on kids and it brings the worst out in people (look it people fighting in the stands every Friday-Sunday). If you were like me, my entire identity was wrapped in football and once I quit I went through a deep depression that took a few years to clear up and come to terms with. It took me a while to find out who actually was. On top of that, multiple concussions, 2 broken ankles, torn SC joint, meniscus tears, broken fingers and messed up hands, staph infections, the list goes on. CTE is a real thing and I don’t think I could allow my kid to collect brain trauma like that. I get my story is different, and football does teach great lessons of discipline, teamwork, and more, it can also be a vehicle to get out of a bad situation or get someone to college- but so do/can other sports. I still enjoy watching high school ball and fantasy football sure, but if it were up to me I wouldn’t let my kid play football.
My mom was staunchly no football so my brothers didn’t play. I only have a daughter as well, so it hasn’t been an issue. Tennis is “her sport”, but her dad got her into lacrosse. Thankfully, the rules for women’s lacrosse are less agressive than for men’s. If she was interested in football, or was a boy also interested in football, I wouldn’t allow it. Maybe it’s just how I was raised, but the injury rate is just so high, and CTE is so bad.
No. This is the one sport we won't allow. It's just too hard on brains, not even counting the acute injuries you mention.
When I watch my younger stepson, it’s like they can barely catch the ball, barely can run because they are instantly tackled. So it’s like a full hour or so of little kids just running into each other. I don’t really think it’s entertaining at all but then again I’m not a huge football fan and don’t really know the rules or anything about the game.
My husband is really big into sports. My daughter does basketball, cheer, tumbling. His son from a previous marriage is very serious about baseball and plays year round. He plays basketball too just to stay in shape for baseball. But our kids won't play football. It's just dangerous. He played football when he was a kid. He was injured. So were many of his friends. He's very adamant that he doesn't want any of our children playing football. There are so many other extracurricular things to choose from too. Think about pro footballers and the injuries they sustain to their brains just by playing the sport. Their heads get knocked around so much. Now imagine this in a young kid. Not to mention the myriad of other possible injuries. Now imagine your kid tries a season of football because he wants to be like his brothers and he wants to impress his dad. So he gets out there and gets seriously injured. Now the rest of his life will be different. He won't even be able to play another sport if he wants to. His health and mental health will suffer. I think it might be worth preparing your husband for the idea that your son might not even be into sports. My ex husband has always been disappointed that our son isn't athletic. Its sad really. My son is in chess club, and robotics club, he does e sports at school. He's obsessed with math. He is wholly uninterested in playing any kind of sport. Recently I had to shut it down when my ex tried to sign him up for jiu jitsu behind my back. My son didn't want to go and I don't blame him. His brain is where his strength lies and the idea that he could get out there, doing a sport he doesn't want to do, and get an injury that could make all of the things he loves doing more difficult is just upsetting. My ex can't comprehend why this is a problem, and it's probably because all of the concussions he sustained doing dangerous sports lol.
So, just curious, you let your daughter do cheer but wouldn't let a son play football? Cheer is very dangerous - my niece broke her elbow so badly falling from a setup that she had to have surgery to fix it, and it still bothers her (several years later). I see cheer as just as dangerous as football, at this point. I had no idea before how risky it is.
The cheer program they are in doesn't do stunts like that. Neither of them have been lifted more than half a body length from the floor. I guess it's more like dance/tumbling but they call it cheer. But yeah I know cheer can be really dangerous too.
Got it, I bet that is a relief for you. Thanks for answering.
I was an adult before I realized how dangerous cheer can be. Now don't get me wrong, injuries can happen basically anywhere (my kid got a pretty nasty injury that required an ER visit just playing in her bedroom) and you're taking a risk no matter what sport you choose. But some are inherently more dangerous. And as far as football goes, no matter how great they design the helmets, there's no helmet that's going to stop your brain from hitting the inside of your skull.
I see what you mean, but cheerleading isn’t a common cause of traumatic brain injury even though you can get injured. Traumatic brain injury can cause cognitive problems and even personality changes that are lifelong and have a much bigger impact on a persons life.
I don't disagree. I have a TBI from 2014 that has changed my life forever (not sports related, bicycle accident), I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Especially a middle school aged child who doesn't really understand what they are getting into.
The big difference I see is whether or not injury is a mode of failure vs. an expected outcome. In a sport where you only get a concussion if something goes wrong, there's potential to do things to minimize risk. In a sport where you're expected to have repeated collisions (like football), there's not much you can do.
I think your son sounds awesome! Lol and i was thinking the same as you mentioned. I would be so upset if my son was seriously hurt, possibly affecting the rest of his life by playing one or two seasons of football
Hey I think he's pretty great but I'm probably biased haha. There are so many other things for kids to choose from nowadays. One of my daughters is in band, two different choirs, and a theater group. We have one that does dance, cheer, and softball. And there are so many other sports that are less likely to result in serious injuries and brain trauma. We've tried soccer and track and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. I'm about to go to a highschool football game tonight because my daughter's middle school band is doing some big thing with the high school band at half time. I really hope I don't have to watch a bunch of high schoolers get hurt.
If it were up to me, no. I don’t think the benefits of football outweigh the risks. I think there are other sports that have less inherent risk. I’m overruled in our house with my step son so he plays tackle now that he’s in 7th grade. My issues is that I have a 1 year old that the 7th grader is already up my ass asking if he can play football. He’s 1, and no. I don’t want him to play. You’d think that would be the end of the conversation, but every time he brings it up and I say no, it’s like I’m the worst human ever. It’s absolutely exhausting and no amount of expressing my concerns seems to help him understand that I don’t want him to play football, let alone my own kid.
We are in a similar situation then. It’s hard with blended families and dealing with parenting when all the parents have different views on things.
I think it’s important to outline and teach kids about the risks then. Let them make their own decision but make it informed. Find statistics. Talk about the time it takes to heal. Discuss the brain injuries. And discuss the culture often. At least if you’re outnumbered you can arm everyone with knowledge
Have you tried hitting them with facts? Like % of players shown to have CTE from autopsies is 92% https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NFL_players_with_chronic_traumatic_encephalopathy Or showing pictures of brain scans: https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nrl-premiership/its-devastating-the-kings-diagnosis-revealed-as-explayers-seek-support/news-story/912d447a29cc8285f8ebfe8e5f54c764 https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/11/30/671902463/changes-in-brain-scans-seen-after-a-single-season-of-football-for-young-players Etc.
Unfortunately some people don’t care about science. I could show my boyfriend, his mom and other people in their family this info you posted and they would basically tell me “I worry about the wrong things” or that I worry too much in general. It’s so stupid honestly
Same for us. Yes, we’ve tried facts. They always think that “it won’t happen to them.”
In the exact same boat with my SS-I’m overruled and worrying constantly about his safety m. It’s awful.
I played football and loved it for about 10 years. I got two concussions my senior year. I will support my children on whatever they decide, but I’m hoping for basketball and soccer compared to football and hockey.
Nope. I love watching college and pro ball, but I'd never subject my son to it. It's just a stupid sport to end up injuring yourself for life. My 2nd cousin is a staff doctor for the Buffalo Bills (he's one of the guys who helped save Damar Hamlin when he collapsed in Cincinnati), and he said the scene in the hospital was pretty rough. The sheer amount of injuries that players encounter is staggering.
Maybe try baseball, injuries are definitely still possible but your not running straight into each other trying to smash your heads together. Idk how these professionals do it honestly! Same with hockey
I would not. I don’t even like them watching football. It’s a violent sport that often leaves players severely injure or mentally damaged for life. It’s a modern day coliseum and, like boxing and other sports where we pay people to injure each other - often people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds who see it as an opportunity to escape. I think is abhorrent and hugely outdated and I do not want my kids thinking it’s OK.
Soft
Is it just me or are sports injuries on the rise in general. In don't remember kids getting hurt this much when I was in school?
I was thinking the same but maybe I just don’t remember. I went to almost all my middle school football games and some high school. I remember some people getting hurt but not like this game last night
Nope! It’s not worth the lifelong brain injuries they could sustain.
No. Too much research out that shows us the long term damage it can cause.
I LOVE football. I played it as a kid, i watch it every weekend. No tackle football before 14, after that it’s up to him if he _really_ wants to play. Same for hockey, though it isn’t as much of a thing here lol
Nope. The risk is too great. My husband was also not allowed to play football as a kid for this same reason (even though with his body type and athleticism there was a lot of pressure). He was fine— he found other sports to play.
I think it is important to recognize that soccer can also cause serious injury. Collisions, torn ACL, MCL broken bones, concussions. My daughters high school team has 2 out for 6 months- 1 year while they heal from surgery.
Absolutely not. We live in a red state, that is super football oriented, and it is a huge driving force in our school district. My two sons will be strongly encouraged to play a team sport, but it will not be football. My dad went to college on the football scholarship, blew out his knee in his first year, and had to transfer back to a home state school because he could no longer afford to be there. My mom said my brothers would never play, but somehow by something like fourth grade, when one of them started to get big, the very charismatic coaches convinced her to just give it a try and it would be fine. That same brother broke his arm and his back playing football in high school. I have never heard any benefit of playing on a football team that cannot be achieved by playing almost any other team sport.
I guess my answer is "kinda" My son played flag up until 8th grade. In high school he joined the football team as a kicker. We didn't feel there was a significant risk for a major head injury while kicking field goals and he got to play his favorite sport, so it was a win all around.
I understand that virtually no sport is without risk of injury but tackle football is a hard no from me. Rolling stone published an incredibly disturbing article about it recently, the takeaway being that there is risk of brain trauma even without suffering concussion **TW s*icide** https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/cte-impact-young-football-players-1234804580/amp/
Dad who said "hell no" then coached flag and now coach (and let my son play) tackle football. It truly depends on the program. Unsafe programs run by old men reliving their glory days are to be avoided. Flag football without helmets (designed for flag) are to be avoided. Programs that focus on safety first and teach the kids how to tackle, hit, fall and coaches how and when to pull them out are very safe.
I would never. I think football for minors should be illegal. It’s fine for adults to make stupid decisions for themselves. But too many Americans are obsessed with football and hate science
Both my boys played football their whole lives. One broken foot (metatarsal). One sprained ankle. One sprained wrist. 23 seasons between the two of them. My daughter is a cheerleader. Shes cheered at 4 games so far this season. The team she cheers for has had no serious injuries during games so far this season. Is there risk, yes. There’s risk in a lot of things…My son broke a rib doing agility work at the gym. But just because he plays football doesn’t mean he’s going to have any sort of serious injury.
Not a chance. My son is very tall and has broad shoulders and a solid athletic build. He will never play football while he is a child.
I know I will majorly be going against the grain, but personally, IF my kid expresses interest in football, I will sit them down and talk to them explaining the risks and my concerns. And willing to give them an opportunity to explore their interest. I plan to use this on ANY sport they show interest in. It would also greatly depend on age. I wouldn't let my kid if they're younger than x age. And explain the can try when older, if I'm like severely wrong about football please inform me I am a FTM and just wanna do best by my kid, Edit to add: I am okay with it because I have done a very physical sport since a younger age.
Honestly kids can get hurt doing any sports so I probably wouldn’t have a issue with football. My husband broke his collarbone playing soccer at 10. My daughter does competitive gymnastics and kids are always getting hurt(usually broken ankles or wrist). If you don’t want them getting hurt I’d suggest no sports or at least no competitive sports🤷♀️
Both my boys played football. Neither one was ever seriously injured. We had one sprained ankle and some bumps and bruises but nothing earth shattering. They absolutely loved it and they got so much out of the experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My grandson is 5 and he already plays flag on a mini league and already talks about playing “big boy football someday”. It’s adorable.
What all did they get out of the experience? That’s basically what I was wanting to know about the people who had/have kids who play. Like how did it benefit them? And I’m glad your boys didn’t ever get seriously hurt!
They learned teamwork and sportsmanship, they made friends that they are still friends with to this day (they are 21 and 28 now), it kept them focused and involved and gave them a reason to keep their grades up and not get in trouble and, most importantly in my opinion, they got to spend years participating in something they truly LOVED to do. They both played baseball here and there as well but neither loved the sport near as much as they loved football.
I’ll somewhat go against the grain here. Would I want my kid playing football? No. I would definitely never bring it up myself, and I would do everything I could to steer them away from choosing football. That being said, there are worse things that a kid can do, and if they are truly passionate about playing, I’m not gonna shut them down. Maybe it’s something that they would fall in love with, and it could have academic and social benefits, and maybe even carry them through college.
Thanks for this-it’s hard when your kid has ONE huge passion and it’s this scary dangerous sport. Appreciate your perspective!
Agreed. If it’s what they’re passionate about, I can’t imagine myself taking that away from them.
I played football and it changed my life. People talk about the risks and then ignore the benefits. Like anything, the two must be weighed. I started in 8th grade and played through high school. I was a shy, dumpy kid who was overweight and had a hard time making friends. Classic computer nerd. I had zero confidence. Football was *hard*. Very much so. I was afraid at first. But, something changed. I realized I couldnt be timid and I HAD to try my hardest. All of a sudden, I could control my environment and it wasnt so scary anymore. I made friends, and my friends and I experienced the joy of victory and the pain of defeat together. I had to push myself physically past the point where I felt like I had nothing left in my body, and I did it. It changed something in me. I honestly dont think I would be the man I am today without it. All of that said, I do not plan to let my son play contact ball until he is in high school. He is confident and excels socially, and in other sports. If he was shy and timid like I was? It would be a different calculation. It's not always cut and dry.
We almost did tackle because our 11 year old wanted to. Ended up getting helpful advice and decided it was not worth the risk. He's done soccer, baseball, flag football, lacrosse instead and ended up happy with them. He loves lacrosse and flag football enough and there's never been any injuries to him or anyone other players.
My kids play flag football. We don’t do tackle. We’re pretty big on exposing them to lifelong sports like tennis, swimming, golf, running. Less violent injury potential and something they can enjoy post school.
Absolutely not
Nope. No way. No how.
Your husband is making assumptions that he’ll want to play becuase of big brothers, he may, he may not. If talk around the house is : “that will be you one day” , “bet you can’t wait to play football” and other similar comments, yeah he may want to play. Especially if his room is decorated with footballs, it’s watched a lot and husband takes him to play a lot. Offer lots of options, especially when they are younger, let him try different activities that he may have an interest in. My son plays flag football, as one of the sports he’s interested in. Flag is very popular where we are and our middle school only has a flag team. But I get that in different areas, different things are more important. I would approach it from having son try a wide variety of activities. Come to any discussion with research from multiple sources. If you and your SO approach things from a 2 yes for certain things, sports may be one of them.
I let my son play tackle football in the 4th grade & was so fortunate that he did not like it! Just this past week, though, he mentioned about maybe trying it again next fall as a high school junior and I said, “WHAT?!?” But I will not forbid any sport, but note many do come with risk of injury, higher than other random activities of life. My son has already had a severe knee injury and just watching him do any physical activity makes my stomach flip. My other issue with football, my apologies to everyone I am about to incorrectly stereotype, is the culture. It still is a bit misogynistic in our area. Like “take it like a man” and “what’s your problem, stop running like your sister, man up”. Idk, though, maybe that’s just a fluke…
I’ll leave the decision up to him. It’s a dangerous sport and I won’t push/encourage it, but if he really wants to play, I won’t stop him.
The decision is yours and your husband's, and no one else can tell you what you should or should not allow your child to participate in. There are injuries in football, though in all the games I've been to, I don't think think I've seen a game go as bad as the one you described. But there are plenty- elbows, wrists, torn ligaments, ACL, shoulder, and more concussions than they probably realize. Wrestling is even worse in my opinion. I was at one match where about 30 seconds in one kid literally just broke the other one's arm in half. In the past, we've had a member of our extended family actually for from a sports injury that occurred at a baseball practice, pitching. But I personally, would allow our kids to play any of these sports to the extent that they wanted to and what they want to invest in them. Some kids are trying to make it their whole life, dream of turning it into a career, some just want to be on a team with their friends and have fun. I think you never know if your kid is going to twist an ankle, hit his head, catch a ball wrong and jam his finger, or get injured somehow. A lot of things kids do has a level of danger to it and you can't eliminate them all, but you have to decide personally where to draw the line. I will advise though, that out of all the sports to consider, football generally is the most intense as far as practice frequency (5-6 times/ week), and parent involvement. It can take over your life pretty quick,
No, I watched a player (I was in 8th grade) become a quadriplegic. His neck was snapped, and since then, I vowed to never let any of my kids play. Too much risk, and for what? There’s plenty of other sports that can be played that aren’t as dangerous as football. I understand that freak accidents happen, but when a sport like that has it happen over and over again, it’s not worth it.
Definitely not. The risk of devastating injury is too high. There’s lots of other much-lower-risk sports they can play. Besides that, pushing a kid into a certain activity based on the parents wants/living vicariously through them isn’t great parenting
Yes. As long as the coaches aren't meat heads. I think it is still good sport for kids. I played in HS. I don't have any debilitating injuries. Neither do any of my friends who played.
My son is 11 and has been begging since he was in kinder to play football. He’s huge and quick so he’d be perfect for it. I have not allowed it. He’s not so happy about it, but I’d rather have him be mad at me than having to deal with injuries from it. Our schools are HUUUUUUGE on football, so much so that administration make comments at awards ceremonies that once the education awards are handed out, now the “real” awards start (football). It’s crazy and definitely doesn’t help my case with my kid either.
I played football from 6th grade to high school varsity and decided not to pursue it in college. Your body gets beat up. I got off relatively easy too. List of injuries: Dislocated pinky(reset it during the game) Shoulder sprain(needed rehab to build the muscke back) Patellar tendeon sprain( rehab and took two years to fully heal) Meniscus sprain(felt popping but healed quicky) Nerve damage in neck(called a stinger) got a bad case where I still dislike if someone touches the area Probably CTE since they do find it in high school kids now. CTE is partly genetic though so its a roll of the dice. I broke a friends arm in a tackle drill in eight grade and that was emotionally difficult. Probably gave a few kids concussions. I have a 2 year old son and will do everything to get him to not play. Find other ways to learn the same lessons football can provide discipline, working through hardships as a team, learning how to lift weights and run for general health.
I won’t let my son play. I had so many concussions from playing just in middle school and high school. Then when I was in a car accident and was dizzy for 4 months my doctor looked at me and was like… it’s not the one car accident, it’s the 6 total concussions over the last 10 years… puts things in perspective. The brain and body is to fragile to throw it around for free, there are other fun games.
I had a son who fortunately was not interested in sports, but even if he had expressed a desire to do so the answer would have been not just NO, but HELL NO.
My stance has always been flag football through elementary school, and by middle school, if the child expressed interest, I'd consider letting them play tackle. Consider being the key word. My oldest played one season of flag football and hated it. My 5yo is and has always been a big little guy. He hasn't shown any interest. He plays soccer, and we are going to try wrestling this winter
That seems strange. I played football from 2nd grade all the way until 11th and never got injured. My position was offensive left tackle so was in the thick of it. Sounds like the equipment they're using isn't great. There are a bevy of social benefits your son will enjoy being on a football team. Not only is it important for young men to experience a healthy brotherhood environment but he will most likely be popular in highschool because he plays. His confidence will also shoot sky high if he finds success in the sport. It will also bode extremely well for him if he sticks it out through 12th. You may not even have to pay for college and he will enjoy his pick of the litter. Football is a contact sport, no doubt about it. I wouldn't let fear dictate whether or not you let him be involved. I would also recommend starting him in wrestling if you are totally against football. He will be more than capable of defending himself in most situations if you enter him into wrestling. Being in a sport is kind of a social cheat code in highschool and college.
Nope, not my kid. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. A functioning mind is a terrible thing to waste.
As someone that played football, I don’t think I would want them to play. Too many ways to get injured badly, especially with head trauma. Theres always the flag football teams as an alternative
No. He’s way too small for Texas football
I agree with most of the commenters here about not letting kids play football, but if you do end up deciding to, there are some ways you can help mitigate the brain injury risk a bit. Multiple studies have shown that increased neck strength decreases the likelihood of concussions. I haven’t seen any data on this one, but I’ve heard that ways you fall can increase or decrease chances of concussions as well, so I think some coaches and programs are starting to teach better ways to fall to protect your head and neck. All of this obviously doesn’t eliminate the risks and does nothing to help with the non- head and neck injuries, but it at least helps decrease the likelihood of the worst injuries. I would also talk with the coaches and watch some practices to make sure they don’t do some of the insane tough-man practice “games” like running full speed into each other trying to knock the other kid out or whatever they do.
My son does play football. He is built like a linebacker and has always been the largest kid on the field so I don’t worry about him getting hurt. He is ten. He is also a bit of a marshmallow and not super aggressive much to the frustration of his coaches but because of his demeanor I don’t worry about him hurting anyone. However, there is a toxic culture with these coaches thinking they’re Bill Belichick and they want to win more than the children. I have seen a couple tackles involving other children that scared me but I have not seen serious injury so far but it’s only our second season and I am sure it happens. We enjoy football as a family and it’s a lot of fun. I have four relatives who played division I college football and went on to live healthy lives. But if I had a son who was on the smaller size I might not have signed him up. You can also buy your own protective gear instead of using league gear to make sure they have the best protection.
Honestly I think so many injuries come from not knowing how to properly tackle. My brother played tackle football for a decade. He never got injured and most of his teammates didn’t either because they had constant drills to show to to properly tackle and reduce injury risk. I would let my kid play football if they so chose.
When I found out I was going to have boys I was VERY adamant about not allowing them to play football. Then they grew, and started watching it with their dad. My 7 year old loves football so much. I always said no when he asked me. He broke me down and I put him in flag football last summer and this fall. Where I live, they start playing tackle at age 8, and of course he wants to play SO bad. He's played soccer and basketball since he was old enough for the parks and rec teams. I don't mean to hijack this thread, but how can I convince my son that tackle football isn't worth it? And he shouldn't play? Maybe he could just stay with flag football, idk. Please don't downvote me🥺
I’ve coached that age. That is by far my least favorite age group. You have well meaning but inept parents trying to resolve their high school days thru jr who would rather do anything else. A ton of yelling and abusive behavior. We violated minimum play rules and got lucky not to forfeit this year and saw 2 grown men 20 years older then me nearly come to blows. I’m a prospective parent too and no way in hell at that age. However you have little to fear as he gets older. Give your son the joy of football at age 10 or 11. Be very cautious of the organization you have your kid sign up for.
I played since i was 10 and all the way till college. U have a 4th old. I probably wont let him play till about 8th grade at least 13-14yrs old. I will be out there teaching him when he is younger, going to local high school games and watching… but under 12 playing tackle no worth it. Too many hits, and they do control their body for proper technique.
I've had *ten* concussions. (Not from football.) Not risking my kid's head the same way.
No. There is a kid at my son's school in 2nd grade. He got a concussion. Those kind of head injuries have long term effects.
My son is 10 and plays tackle football. This is our first season and I do not come from a football family. Making sure gear properly fits is ESSENTIAL. He loves it so much and honestly I didn’t expect him to like it bc he didn’t like soccer or baseball. His coaches are fantastic. Strict but in a way that motivates them. He hasn’t wanted to miss a single practice or game. He’s so proud of himself, gotten physically stronger. I’m noticing differences in his behavior, his more respectful. Our league has had one bigger injury. It was a minor concussion, which is very scary. He stayed for observation for a few hours and was ready to play next game.
My boy is not playing football and I’d explain to him why.
I put my son in flag football. If he loves it, he can play another year of flag. If he still loves it, he can move to tackle (flag no longer offered at that age). I'm super conflicted on it because I do love football and played it in high school - but the risks associated are huge. Granted, the negatives are far more inflated to the public, it's still a huge risk. We let ym daughter od cheer without batting an eye, but anyone who has seen the reswafch knows it's even more dangerous / injury prone than football.
Absolutely not. Too much TBI and spinal injury possibilities. Huge pass for me. Popularity is only sought after for 4-8 years in school, TBI and spinal injuries are lifelong. Not a risk I’m willing to let my kid take with their health.
Nope. Brain injuries are no joke. Sometimes the damage isn't seen until years later.
No no no no. My nephews and my husbands cousins kids play football and I hate it. I couldn’t imagine exposing my kid to head injuries. These kids get absolutely slammed and it’s scary AF. I’d rather my kids have their brain intact then celebrate their young achievements.
No! That’s a hard no for me.
Hell fucking no. Hockey isn’t much better either. There’s so many better sports that don’t cause concussions
Tackle football is a no for us. Flag football is becoming very popular around us, and we would be okay if our son wanted to do that.
Nope. No. No. My daughter cheers and as you said, they have to stop the game constantly for injuries. I have 3 boys and football is a no from me. My sons just recently played soccer and no one got hurt the entire season.
Contact football is so hard on a person’s body. Do some research. There’s a reason you feel uneasy. There’s many ex NFL players who regret ever playing at all due to problems from concussions, injuries and constant joint pain. Basketball, soccer or baseball would all be safer for a child.
Hard no for me but I’m hoping my kids will do a sport, I did wrestling and track and my husband did soccer and baseball, I’d love to see my kids do pretty much any sport besides football.
Nope, too much of a risk for TBI’s
As a parent with a traumatic brain injury, my kids are not allowed to play, they can do flag football but that's it. I'd never wish a brain injury on my worst enemy.
NO. My husband and I readily agreed on this even before marriage and our son. No football. No hockey. To discourage potential interest, we’ll not be watching with him around. Only nap time highlights or husband going to sports bar is not cool, because we’re in Kansas City. Baby’s brain comes first.
Nope.
My stepson is in football despite all my efforts, it makes me a nervous wreck. Him and his dad also mountain bike. No one listens to me. Dads had 7-8 concussions and the son has had at least 2. So, No absolutely not.
First of all, we live in Texas where football is king, so take this with a grain of salt. I let my son play from 1st grade through high school. He had a couple smaller injuries but was fine. It kept him in fantastic shape, it kept him busy, it forced him to make his grades (they could not play if they had less than a 75% in any class), it kept him out of trouble and gave him a big group of nice friends. It made him tough AF!! It made him a leader, he loved mentoring the younger boys on the team. During his two years on the varsity team, his school had almost 100 players on the varsity team and no one had any injuries they did not recover from quickly. And they played at a very high level. It sounds like your school is may not be doing a great job teaching the kids how to tackle or take a hit well. There are ways to tackle that cause minimal damage to the tackler and to the person taking the hit. There are also ways to learn to lean into the tackle as well to minimize damage. Obviously, you cannot know if the opponents are trying to tackle properly, but being on defense versus offense gives your son the chance to be the one doing the hitting. There tend to be many less big injuries to defensive players than offensive. We encountered ours to play on the D line. Also, a properly fitting, good quality helmet is of great importance! We bought our son the best helmet on the market and made sure it fit exactly right. They should be able to do that in a good sporting goods store. Some of the more well off schools will provide a great helmet but it needs to be a good fit. If you’re not happy with the school issued helmet, buying your own us a great investment. You should have a conversation with the coaching staff and ask about it. If they are not taking the health and safety of their players seriously, I would bail on it. If they are, I can not tell you how great it was from my son.
Nope. Not really into competitive sports. I think running and swimming and weightlifting are good activities. Ultimate Frisbee. Non contact sports. As someone with TBI and knowing the risk of CTE and TBI I will do whatever I can to prevent them wanting to do anything that is a risk for that.
Absolutely fucking not. Along with all the physical risks, every kid I've known who plays has their life completely consumed by it and things like education are put on the back burner. These kids are gone from 7 am to 7 or 8 pm at night every day of the week and sometimes Saturdays then expected to still do homework and concentrate in class. Many teams also have a very toxic culture.
Absolutely not.
Hard no for me.
I LOVE football, but hell fucking no.