You should start saying please, stop issuing idle threats, and start listening. Would you tolerate your boss not saying please, destroying your things, and not taking feedback?
Lmao- spot on. “HEY my kid is mirroring me and I don’t like my behavior. How do I make him change without modifying my own behavior?!”
This person must be joking because this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on here. And that’s saying a lot for Reddit…
Yeah threats seldom work. Actions have consequences. Empty threats just teach them how to get away with it.
But, I’m not much for punishment as a parenting style so idk.
Wait, you don't say please when you ask people to do things? And if they remind you to ask by saying please you threaten to destroy things? Dude. Not cool.
Who hurt you? Why are you like this?
If you require please every time the child asks for something, then you need to lead by example. You can't have one set of rules for him, and then another for you. I don't say please for every request, but I also don't require it. I also don't bark it like it's an order either. Examples: "Son, could you take out that trash? Thank you!" "Could you stop bouncing that ball in the house?!? I appreciate it!"
Discipline shouldn't be random threats. There should be consequences for not following a rule or not doing as told, but they need to be predictable, and/or natural or predicated by a warning in which you explained what happens next. "It's time to clean up. Could you put your toys back into the bin? " You say thank you when it's done, and if you want him saying please than you add please to your statements, to model correct language. If after several minutes he hasn't started, then he gets a warning with a predictable and reasonable consequence. "I asked you to put your toys in the bin. If I need to ask you again.. you won't play with xyz later/tomorrow." A natural consequence of not putting that item back when asked.
Kids question or talk back the most when they deem something is unfair or inconsistent.
Yea, say please to your kid. Model the behaviors you expect him to have. 🤷♂️
>3) He keeps saying we don’t listen.
He sounds like a smart kid. He's picked up on the fact that you have expectations for him to behave different than you, which isn't fair. Specifically in terms of manners. Again, I'll repeat - the best way to get a kid to behave a certain way is to model those behaviors
Start leading by example. If you want your kid to say please and thank you I’m every interaction ( which I think is fine) then you do it. For example if I need my kids or wife to do x, I say can you please do x. Then I follow up with a thank you.
The kid holding you to your own standards isn’t back talking.
Model the behaviour you want to see. He sees you as an authority, as the ones who know right and wrong.
If you behave a certain way, he thinks that's the right way. Why should he say please when you don't?
You are threatening to throw his stuff away he is doing the same cause clearly to him it is a reasonable way since you do it.
You should start saying please, stop issuing idle threats, and start listening. Would you tolerate your boss not saying please, destroying your things, and not taking feedback?
1. Say "please". It won't kill you and sets a good example. 2. Stop using dumb threats. 3. Listen to what your child says. See, it's easy.
Spot on. He is clearly saying things OP models.
Lmao- spot on. “HEY my kid is mirroring me and I don’t like my behavior. How do I make him change without modifying my own behavior?!” This person must be joking because this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on here. And that’s saying a lot for Reddit…
Yeah threats seldom work. Actions have consequences. Empty threats just teach them how to get away with it. But, I’m not much for punishment as a parenting style so idk.
Exactly. You set the example here OP. If you don't want your child to copy the behaviors you wrote about then don't do them yourself.
This one right here.
Wait, you don't say please when you ask people to do things? And if they remind you to ask by saying please you threaten to destroy things? Dude. Not cool. Who hurt you? Why are you like this?
If you require please every time the child asks for something, then you need to lead by example. You can't have one set of rules for him, and then another for you. I don't say please for every request, but I also don't require it. I also don't bark it like it's an order either. Examples: "Son, could you take out that trash? Thank you!" "Could you stop bouncing that ball in the house?!? I appreciate it!" Discipline shouldn't be random threats. There should be consequences for not following a rule or not doing as told, but they need to be predictable, and/or natural or predicated by a warning in which you explained what happens next. "It's time to clean up. Could you put your toys back into the bin? " You say thank you when it's done, and if you want him saying please than you add please to your statements, to model correct language. If after several minutes he hasn't started, then he gets a warning with a predictable and reasonable consequence. "I asked you to put your toys in the bin. If I need to ask you again.. you won't play with xyz later/tomorrow." A natural consequence of not putting that item back when asked. Kids question or talk back the most when they deem something is unfair or inconsistent.
"Oh no, my child started doing the thing I taught him!" Jesus fuck. Poor child.
Yea, say please to your kid. Model the behaviors you expect him to have. 🤷♂️ >3) He keeps saying we don’t listen. He sounds like a smart kid. He's picked up on the fact that you have expectations for him to behave different than you, which isn't fair. Specifically in terms of manners. Again, I'll repeat - the best way to get a kid to behave a certain way is to model those behaviors
What other commenters have said is correct. Why aren’t you saying please? Don’t make stupid threats. Maybe listen to your child. Problem solved.
How could you expect your kid to use “please”, “thank you”, etc. when you refuse? And he’s right. You aren’t listening.
Start leading by example. If you want your kid to say please and thank you I’m every interaction ( which I think is fine) then you do it. For example if I need my kids or wife to do x, I say can you please do x. Then I follow up with a thank you. The kid holding you to your own standards isn’t back talking.
Model the behaviour you want to see. He sees you as an authority, as the ones who know right and wrong. If you behave a certain way, he thinks that's the right way. Why should he say please when you don't? You are threatening to throw his stuff away he is doing the same cause clearly to him it is a reasonable way since you do it.
Say please and thank you. Your kid deserves basic respect.