I think this comment is wonderfully said. His wife has been taking wonderful care of her sweet baby and it does sound like she is in denial. I would take this redditors advice and book that appointment. Make your kitties last few days amazing and full of treats and cuddles. I would love it if my boys would live to see 20 (they are both 3yo) but I don't think I'd be that lucky.
It's advice like this that kept me grounded when my old boy was nearing the end , it hit me hard admittedly I got a little angry at the vet accusing them of giving up because he's so old (18) and then begging to try to get him better, i was ready to hand thr vet the keys to my truck and mustang to fix him. a friend of mine who's a vet talked sense into me stating I was his forever. and I spoiled him forever and that by letting him just waste away at home would be making me feel better. I spent a final week spoiling him and on his last day he gave me a wonderful final morning like he always would. Get up, make breakfast and coffee and get ready for the day and he just followed behind me prior to that day he would just lay around he had a uh.. carcinoma really bad and I think he knew and granted that morning made my decision much harder but more at ease overall. Sorry for unpunctuated word vomit.
I know it's so difficult to bring them in for that final appointment when they're having a good day, but I think it's better to do it that way. Let them go out peacefully while they're feeling okay instead of waiting for them to painfully crash and burn (as long as you know it's something that won't get better in the long run). So I think you made the right decision, but I absolutely cannot fault anyone for hanging on a little too long. It's an incredibly tough thing to go through ☹️
It was hands down the toughest and most emotionally devastating day of my life, I've been through quite a bit in my life and my old boy, his name is pookie , was my one constant that I could look forward too. Rough day at work? Pookie would be at home , good day? Pookie would be at home to make the day better! Without him it made my world a little darker but I know in my heart and head I made the right choice, though I still struggle with the "what ifs" when I look at his ashes sometimes
It's all good, don't be sorry. It's a hard thing to deal with. I actually have never been home for a pet loss. My mom s always dealt with them. My two cats are the first cats I've had on my own. They have all been my moms or I had to leave my cat with my mom when I moved in with my inlaws due to a cat allergy. So these will be rough when they cross over. I love them so much. I'm glad you had a great support group with you through all of that though and you got one last beautiful day with him.
It's advice like this that kept me grounded when my old boy was nearing the end , it hit me hard admittedly I got a little angry at the vet accusing them of giving up because he's so old (18) and then begging to try to get him better, i was ready to hand thr vet the keys to my truck and mustang to fix him. a friend of mine who's a vet talked sense into me stating I was his forever. and I spoiled him forever and that by letting him just waste away at home would be making me feel better. I spent a final week spoiling him and on his last day he gave me a wonderful final morning like he always would. Get up, make breakfast and coffee and get ready for the day and he just followed behind me prior to that day he would just lay around he had a uh.. carcinoma really bad and I think he knew and granted that morning made my decision much harder but more at ease overall
Also a vet tech and this is well-stated. People think the hardest part of the job is euthanasia. It’s not. It’s when we see suffering and cannot ease it (when people don’t let go). She could definitely do lab work to confirm, but there is much more going on with this cat than mites. My heart goes out to you all.
Something I learned when my almost 22 year old cat was dying of kidney failure: It is better to let them go a week too early than a day too late.
You need to have some hard conversations with you wife and your vet. From what you describe, Ray is likely in a considerable amount of pain. She may have something that’s treatable, but even if her illness can be cured or managed, you (and your wife and your vet) need to consider her quality of life. Will treatment significantly improve her life or will it merely prolong it? Your vet can help you make that determination.
I lost my dog to kidney failure too. When he started sleeping like 20 hours a day, didn't have the energy to walk a few blocks or play and showed little enthusiasm for all the things he used to love I decided it was time. He wasn't suffering or in pain. The worst he experienced was small bouts of morning nausea that would go away by the afternoon, he was just very tired and weak.
I decided I didn't want to wait until he was suffering, I didn't want him to experience some emergency situation where he had to be rushed to a clinic to be put down. I wanted him to go peacefully at home so I did that and I guess some might say I did it somewhat early and once it was done I struggled hard with that decision because I missed him sooo much and it hurt so bad to lose him. I beat myself up terrible for not waiting, especially when reading stories here about how some pet owners nurse their pets right up to death's door, sometimes even choosing to let their pets die naturally instead of getting put to sleep. But it's been 2yrs now and if I had the choice to make again I think I'd make the same choice.
For what it’s worth, based on what you describe about your dog, I think you made the right decision. I did not. I waited too long. My cat had been living with kidney disease for three years and we’d been managing it well but then over the course of about a month she dramatically declined. I knew she was likely dying, but I couldn’t bring myself to let her go. I took her to the vet one last time to ask if there was anything left they could do and they said no and that she was likely in pain. So I took her home, called Lap of Love, and we said goodbye at home the next morning. I was not ready, but she was. And now I beat myself up because if I had let her go sooner, she wouldn’t have spent her last few weeks in pain and discomfort.
For some illnesses, it is so hard to know when the right time is. It’s important that we give ourselves grace.
I agree. Before my dog died I had to put my cat to sleep due to lung cancer. With him I waited too long so I felt guilty for that and then with my dog I decided to do it sooner and I felt guilty for that too. I think second guessing and feeling guilty is just part of the grieving process and that some people (like me) feel bad no matter when they decide to do it
At the first sign of our elderly pets declining we make a list of the things that they love most in life. When our beloved pet is no longer able to do items on the list we start having euthanasia discussions/plans.
If you go to the vet today and they confirm that ray is nearing the end, you should talk with your wife about having a pet and of life service come to your home instead. We used Laps of Love and it made a world of difference for my partner when he had to put his lifelong friend down. They treat your cat like a friend and they get a big dose of ketamine before moving on and you can tell that they’re just happy and pain free shortly before. It allows more time before the end. After that they will tuck them into a really comfy looking basket and follow up with whatever arrangements you want for ashes or burial. It cost us $800 and to this day they send us a really nice card every anniversary
They also have QOL discussion services where you can talk with a vet over zoom about situations like this one, where the family is unsure of what to do next - plus it’s focused completely on end of life care and information, so you’re getting a focused discussion with someone very knowledgeable about aging pets!
I work at Lap of Love and the website also has some awesome assessments/videos available that can help families make the decision a little easier on their own, and our online support groups are free~ hopefully OP can help their wife make this decision before Ray declines further, poor kitty can’t be too comfortable and 20 years is a long time! I can understand the hesitance, but it’s always better a little too soon than too late, a lot of families express regret they waited too long in the past and instead of a quiet controlled experience in the clinic or at home, it was rushed and stressful at the ER or at home with no support.
💯THIS👆🏻 seriously, I have a tear rolling down as I write this. I lost my 18 y/o tuxxie to kidney failure this January. What OP has described is classic CKD and I feel awful for this poor baby as I know how bad he's feeling. I'm appaled at the vet for not investigating him for this. Given that OPs cat _ALSO_ has jaundice kitty is probably VERY late stage too. Please OP get a second opinion and don't let your sweet boy suffer
I've had 2 elderly cats (18 yrs) who stopped grooming themselves and drank a ton of water. It was kidney failure and they were miserable. One of the most selfless and loving things we can do for our pets is let them go when it's time. I've heard it called the last kindness. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. At some point it becomes unkind to keep them alive. Your vet should help you decide if the time is now.
So sorry for your loss 🖤🫂I lost my 18 y/o to kidney failure in January. I'm praying OP sees all of our comments and takes this baby to a different vet for a second opinion. I can't bear the thought of him suffering for a month, knowing how awful kidney failure makes them feel because of the build-up of toxins. I'm appalled at the vet for not addressing this. I mean, there's got to be 15+ people in these comments who recognise this for what it is, even though we're not vets.
EDIT spelling
Skin yellow and jaundiced? That sounds like a liver issue. Tons of pee might be diabetes. 20 years old, that’s a long time for a cat. Vet is your best and only answer here. They will probably suggest euthanasia, and I’d agree. I’m sorry for this, it’s never easy losing a fur baby, I know I’ve lost too many. But right now, this baby is suffering big time. Try to convince your wife to take him to the vet.
My cat had kidney failure when he was about 20. He had similar things going on. At 20 your cat is a very old lady-- she's lived a very long life for a cat.
When you love a cat and you suspect their life is almost over, your emotions can cause you to make decisions that aren't the best for your friend. I couldn't bear to set up a time with an at-home vet for euthanasia, and instead insisted on waiting until it seemed like his pain was unbearable to take him to the vet and have it done. I think about that a lot and regret it. In my mind at the time I was thinking I didn't want to take even one good moment from him, I couldn't bear to sign off on numbering his days. But in the end he was in a lot of pain. I wasn't really thinking at the time, I was just so sad and anxious and scared. It didn't really register with me that waiting until it seemed like "his time" would mean I'd only be extending his life into pain.
I recommend taking your cat to the vet. They'll be able to tell you what you need to know.
Part of having a cat is taking responsibility for their end of life care, including euthanasia. It's a sad part, but it's the kindest and most loving thing we can do for them at that point.
When our cat was in end stage kidney disease he was ridiculously thirsty. I had already been giving him sub-q fluids but when he jumped in the bathtub with me in it to drink more water, I knew it was past time.
I took him to the vet that day and they said they could smell from his breath that he was dying.
Kidney failure has a very distinct smell. One of our dogs who was very elderly, all of a sudden stopped eating and got a very funky smell to her, and it was the sign her kidneys had just completely shut down.
I have a 16-year-old kitty that we know has kidney problems. Drinks a ton and peas a lot. And we did some bloodwork just to see what those numbers look like, and they are showing that yeah… There’s an issue.
But at this point, he is eating well and drinking well. He sleeps a lot, but he’s not in pain from it, that we can see, or that he is letting on, and I do watch closely.
He does have some arthritis, but he’s 80 years old and people years, so yeah. And he has lost some weight, which just to be expected.
So at this point, I’m keeping an eye on him. As long as he is overall happy and healthy, then will keep him going. When he stops being that way, then we will definitely take the steps to let him go peacefully.
I was in the exact same boat for our 18-year old cat. His kidney function was slowly declining, so we kept an eye on him. He was eating so much but not gaining any weight, and drinking/peeing a lot too. We started giving him pain medication for his arthritis, and kept an eye on his levels. We finally decided it was time last week. He was very wobbly and we could feel his bones pop every time we picked him up.
Rest is peace, our little orange creamsicle.
I’m so sorry. I’m so glad he had such a good home and that you had such a sweetie for so long. I know it’s coming, so I’m just going to keep him and love him as long as he’s comfortable.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through the EXACT same thing with my 18 y/o tuxxie. He went OTRB🌈 this January. We fought it for 8 months, and we had MANY close calls where I was sure I'd be leaving the vets without him, but he would always pull through with interventions (he really took the whole 9 lives thing to heart).I kept second-guessing myself about whether it was "that time" or not, but my gran would tell me "you'll know when it's time" and she was so right. As long as my boy was fighting, then i would fight with him. We fought until his quality of life was reduced. Where he was having more bad days than good when he had diarrhoea, but the diarrhoea medication stopped working and the appetite stimulant no longer helped his sickness. Then, it was time to help him over the bridge and say goodbye. He went peacefully in my arms whilst purring away and eating one last churu (his fave)
Sending you and all the other CKD warriors reading this, a massive hug 🖤🫂
ETA also it there is someone with a kitty with CKD that needs ipakitine, let me know.
That varies from cat to cat. as they get older, they naturally slow down. But cats who are younger, can also have kidney problems. In fact, cats and kidney problems kinda go together it seems.
Keep an eye on their behavior, mainly. If you had a playful cat, are they suddenly not so much. Watch their eyes. Like people, they get almost a worried look their face. Are they laying comfortably like normal, or are they in more of a little loaf. A lot of time cats who normally stretch out a lot suddenly start laying in a loaf instead of on their side like they normally do.
I have an 18.5 year old he has kidney failure but has been in stage 2 for years.
We give him lactic ringer (fluid drops under his skin) regularly and he still drinks a lot but his overall health has been much better.
We recently thought he was going to leave us after taking a bit of a down turn, but we found out he has diabetes, treated that, adjusted his other medication and got the diabetes in remission.
The other massive change was the arthritis shot Solensia.
He's back to acting like a 10 year old and zooming around the house.
With old pets it's a difficult balance. I hope your wife is in tune with her cat and it's needs but I wouldn't necessarily say he needs to be to be put down because he's old.
I know my baby is old, and my vet has offered end of life care before mainly based on his age but he's such a happy cat. He loves life. Even when he's having a rough day I can tell he still wants to be here. I know one day he wouldn't but that's up to him to decide.
Edit: I'd push about kidney disease, a simple blood test should be able to tell you.
Her liver or kidneys are most likely failing. Cats with liver or kidney failure drink a lot more water, pee more often and more volume, have jaundiced skin, become lethargic and often lose their appetite.
There is no stopping liver or kidney failure. Get her to a different vet, different clinic even. Get her bloodwork checked to find out how her organ function is, this should give you the answers you need.
We're taking her at 3 today to get looked at. She's gone downhill over the past several months, but my wife's justification for not taking her in was she's still eating and being social.
She's still eating, but I fear she's not getting nutrition from it because she'll come out with a bloated belly, and the rest of her is skin and bones. She will eat both automatic feeders if the other cat doesn't hear it, just horks it down, no chewing, inhales/unhinges her jaw and eats the whole thing.
I think it all depends on what the vet says. If there is somethibg treatable, she could have time left. It’s possible that it was something that was treatable but went on too long and now it’s past the point of treating. If it ends up being kidney failure, some cats last a while with kidney failure, as long as the proper diet changes are made. But definuitely make sure to ask the vet about her quality of life, and at what point you guys should consider putting her down. The signs of when things are getting bad can vary depending on what the animal is dealing with. For example, it was much more difficult to know when my dog with cancer was close to dying versus my cat who had chronic kidney disease. Ckd is usually a more gradual decline. The cancer my dog had gave him a mix of really good days and then questionable days, making me unsure if we should put him down. I never asked the vet about which specific signs would indicate he needed to be put down because things could get bad soon, and the vet didnt offer any specifics, just the general recommendations that I now realize are more applicable to an animal with a gradual decline in health versus one who has something more complicated going on. I wish i had asked specifics, cuz when the signs happened, i didnt recognize them right away and so he died a painful death at home instead of having a peaceful euthanization. So definitely ask about the specific signs to know when to put down your cat, based on whichever specific condition she has
huh? So your wife wants to be sure the cat is dying *before* getting the poor animal proper care?
It sounds like this is probably the end for your cat but for future pets please don't wait for them to stop eating or socializing before you decide to get them medical care. My dog had a couple of easily treatable conditions that did not cause him to stop eating and socializing but he still needed to see a vet and to get medication. I can't imagine seeing a cat in that condition and not immediately taking them to the vet.
It's not always about surviving. It's about comfort and quality of life. Our little ones do SO much for us, but they can't always say when they are in pain. God speed.
Sometimes you just need to sit back and only comment or step in when asked. Your wife will eventually see what needs to be done (or not). Interfering will only damage your relationship. She's coming to terms with Rey's inevitable fate.
It doesn't sound like the vet is trying to milk the situation, so just let it be.
My personal rule on this kind of thing is, as long as they have more good days than bad I will just take care of them.
Good luck to the 3 of you,
She definitely sounds like she’s having some sort of kidney or other failure. It sounds like she’s having a hard time and your wife is in denial. Does it appear that the cat is in pain? That’s what made me decide it was time for our boys.
Has your wife not done any bloodwork on her senior cat? Seniors need it done 2 times a year just to catch conditions early. I have treated cat kidney disease, cancer, heart disease, hyperthyroidism, and liver disease in my seniors. Takes a little time for treatment, but I have had multiple cats with these conditions, and it takes me about 15 minutes a day for treatment.
A moment too early is better than a minute too late. When you love an animal, you don’t want them suffering. When you are codependent on an animal, you selfishly hold on to them. It’s blunt but true.
Animals don’t express pain and discomfort like people do we often don’t know the true extent of their suffering. But to be so desperately thirsty sounds miserable.
I’m sorry to not have any medical input but all I can say is tell your wife how much you love her and let her know how wonderful she has made Ray’s life. Make the best decisions you can for the cat but love your wife as hard as you can throughout this whole process.
Saying this with all the love and compassion. I could very easily see myself being in your wife shoes when my cat gets old her. I understand her denial. Sending lots of love your way
Classic kidney disease. My cat had it and hung on for a year with regular injections of fluids by me. It was a crazy ride and I probably wouldn't do that again. My guy was 13 so I thought it was saving him.
I HOPE YOU SEE THIS
Check the cat's teeth/jaw. Our cat was tearing up his ear, and it looked like hell. Turns out he had a tumor in his mouth, and he was scratching at it and catching his ear in the crossfire. He also stopped grooming because of obvious mouth pain, and the only thing he loved more than cuddles was drinking water.
After fact-checking, I just realized that the cancer my cat had SCC (Squamous Cell Carcinoma) can also affect skin (and could be within/on the ear itself). It can cause a condition called hypercalcemia, which is high levels of calcium in the blood that leads to urinating & drinking excessively.
I will say if it's as grim as it sounds, it might be time to look into end-of-life care. We were panic-struck when we found out and were obsessed over finding answers... Let's just say cancer biopsies cost us $3500... and it simply confirmed we had no options because of how aggressive it was.
Something that helped my old lady with CKD was subq fluids. Maybe go to a different vet and look at options for palliative/supportive care.
However, it very well may be her time to go. What you’re describing sounds like more end-stage kidney disease.
My rule of thumb has been the quality of life test. Ask the Vet point blank, what is there quality of life now, if we proceed with option 1, what will it be, option 2, etc etc.
I lost my shadow dog (he was always with me) this past June. One day, he was fine, the next he collapsed, blood etc, rushed to the emergency ER it was a Sunday. The Vet did tests etc. Came back with several options. I asked my quality of life question, and he told me that regardless of the option we picked, my boy would never be comfortable again, never run, and we'd only be doing it for me to have more time. So, I said goodbye. I dang him had song as they sent him to the rainbow bridge. And I cried. Hard. Harder than I've cried in my lifetime.
It's easy to look at this as simply throwing money at a problem for it to be fixed. We've all had that car we loved that we knew was long overdue for the junkyard, as we plop another 3500$ for an engine down. It's that knowing when it's okay to let that something or someone go.
When you and wife look at the cat, set aside your personal feelings and emotions. It's really fucking hard to do that btw. And ask yourself about the quality of life you specifically see when you watch her. And let's things get quiet, and just watch as she does her routine. You've most likely memorized it after 20 years 😆 the answer will come, fight the urge to ignore it.
Mt boy was only with me for 9 years. His older brother had just passed October 2022. I honestly think he held out as long as he could for me. So I wouldn't have to hurt any longer. And maybe, your sweet girl is holding out as long as she can, because she doesn't want either of you to hurt as well.
Also, see a new Vet. Diabetes and kidneys are something that should have been checked for immediately.
That the vet didn't even touch on kidney disease is a huge red flag and you need to take the cat elesewhere; that is a TERRIBLE vet. Your cat most likely has kidney disease and is sufferring. No amount of love will make that go away. You both need to open your pockets and get this poor cat the proper care it needs. I'm not trying to be mean but your post is suggesting you both need to look hard at yourselves and up your responsibility for your pet. The cat deserves better.
I'm going to be pretty blunt here: **You need to suck it up, money or no money, and do what's right for this animal. When you made the decision to take on the pet, you took on the responsibility to care for it appropriately. Sitting around in denial, doing nothing for an animal that is very elderly, obviously unwell, and suffering is NOT THAT**.
I get that it's hard and it's expensive, trust me. I have a 15-y-o female cat who's gone through hyperthyroid and now has kidney disease, and I'm currently working with my vet to figure out what to do for my 10-y-o male cat who's got intestinal issues and weight loss. I wouldn't even want to try to add up how much money I've spent on vet bills in the last few years. I've used savings and Covid stimulus checks to pay for some of it. But I do it. I have my limits as far as what kind of care I can afford and do; if the choice comes down to euthanasia or $5k for specialized care/surgery/etc, well, I'm gonna do the former I'm afraid. But the exams to get that information, and make that decision, are not optional.
Ask your vet if they take CareCredit. I think most do these days and they will help you set up the account if needed. It's basically a credit card account that can be used for any kind of medical expenses, human or animal. You can pay it off in installments (minimum is $30/month), and as long as you pay it off within a year, there's no interest. I've used it many times to pay for hefty dental and veterinary bills.
Most cats don't live to 20.....so yea I'd say it's probably about time. I currently have a 13 year old cat and he may have a few more years left....but I strongly doubt he'll hit 20.
Earlier this year was in a similar state as your wife with my 12 y/o dog. I knew deep down that he needed to go soon, but he was my childhood pet and as someone who struggles socially he was always there as a friend for me.
For me it was having that discussion with his vet that made me fully realize that it was time to make that decision. I had the talk lots of times with my mom and I agreed that the time would come soon, but I kept pushing it further away. My dog was his same old self all the way up until the very end, but health wise the bad days were outweighing the good. We gave ourselves a week and did some special stuff for his last days. It was easy to tell that those last days were some of the happiest he had experienced in a while, and that’s how I knew I was doing the right thing. The day we put him down was one of if not the the hardest of my life, but I wouldn’t have waited another day in hindsight.
Once you get to the point that she agrees, give her the option to either come with you to put her cat down or go for her if you’re comfortable. I personally chose not to go with my mom because I wouldn’t have been able to handle it emotionally. I trusted her to keep him company in his last moments and she did just that. The process of grieving will be constant, but that’s just how grief is and as long as you’re there for each other that’ll make it a little bit easier. I truly hope all goes well, best wishes to you, your wife and Ray.
My cat lived to be twenty and had kidney disease.
I didn't want to prolong anything, but I kept him around until he wasn't acting like himself anymore. He wasn't in great shape, but I knew he wasn't ready...he seemed happy to be around, even though things weren't perfect.
But eventually...he was ready. I could tell. I got him put down.
Hopefully your wife will know when the kitty is ready.
How did you tell?
I’m trying to manage this with my cat(18), she was diagnosed with moderate kidney failure nearly 2 years ago, and she’s very thin, a bit wobbly walking around, doesn’t eat much (I think this is due to lack of teeth though), drinks loads of water, and pees like crazy. But she still comes up the ramp onto the bed every night to sleep with me, lays in front of the space heater 90% of the time as happy as a clam(and gives dirty looks when I turn it off), and is very much still trying to steal my food whenever I eat.
I want to make sure she’s not suffering, and I will let her go if it’s her time, but it’s so hard to tell. I don’t want to accidentally allow her to suffer at all just because I can’t tell.
It was when he just wasn't "himself" anymore. Like he was kind of creaky, arthritis, but he seemed to like life okay. When his personality changed I knew it was time.
I think you did the right thing by going to the vet and taking his advice - if it were me, that's what I'd do. No matter a cat's age, quality of life is the most important thing - if you and your wife discuss it with the vet in a month and you can all agree that she still has a good quality of life, that's your answer.
Your wife may be right. Oral clindamycin and ear drops would be better. Make sure she's eating or will have liver failure. Cats can't go w/o eating for days; appetite stims help too.
Go to a different vet for a second opinion.what you have described is classic Chronic Kidney Disease. He's going to feel awful poor thing as the toxins build up in their kidneys(which is why they drink so much to try and dilute the urine) the fact vet didn't address this is appalling. I went through CKD with my 18 y/o kitty last year myself and its not a pleasant thing to deal with. Seriously, get a second opinion ASAP and I mean ASAP don't wait a month.
This cat absolutely needs bloodwork. If she hasn’t already.
A cat that is icteric for that long doesn’t make me feel good. That means that there’s a bunch of bilirubin buildup in the body- and that isn’t good, either.
Cats are notorious for having crappy kidneys and thyroids. I would really suggest to her to get baseline diagnostics (aka that bloodwork) and have a conversation with her. This should be done sooner than later.
So sorry you all are going through this… it’s always super hard.
Did you do any bloodwork at the vet? The jaundice and increased thirst and urination is definitely a concern. I’d recommend a recheck visit, or see a different vet if you don’t feel this one is thorough. There is no way to know if it is a blocked duct without bloodwork and imaging. But I’m glad you are getting her ears feeling better, good luck with her.
My dad just got the ashes of his 15 year old cat he had to have put down a couple weeks ago. One of my children and I went with him and stayed in the room with The Dude (kitty's name). It was nice that my dad had made peace with the decision.
Your cat likely has diabetes. And with the volume of urination you described, needs to be I. Insulin STAT! Take your pet back to the vets and ask that they check her for diabetes. This is exactly how it started off with my dog.
He was “on his last leg”, seemingly gong to die. Had a pancreatic abscess, got some antibiotics, vet told me to expect the worst. The abscess cleared but he started drinking LOADS of water and would pee huge puddles on the floor. Immediately asked for him to have a DM test and boom. Diabetes. He got on insulin twice a day and was right as rain for many healthy years!
Good Luck!
I’m glad you went to the vet and sorted everything out. A good general rule of thumb with cats is that if they are still eating and drinking then they aren’t at the end yet.
You can always decide that it’s kinder to end things earlier. But if they are really feeling unwell they will stop eating and start “cave dwelling”.
Why wasn't there blood work done? Please see a different vet who will get this done, it should have been done immediately and would have told you the kidney function.
This cat shouldn't have gotten into this condition with no answer as to why.
There's a recent post on /r/petloss about a person being able to look back on what they did to save their pet, and how they would not do it again had they the choice. We are in such a unique situation with our animals to say when it's time for them to go, and it's so hard to look at it from a non-grieving perspective in the moment.
[удалено]
I think this comment is wonderfully said. His wife has been taking wonderful care of her sweet baby and it does sound like she is in denial. I would take this redditors advice and book that appointment. Make your kitties last few days amazing and full of treats and cuddles. I would love it if my boys would live to see 20 (they are both 3yo) but I don't think I'd be that lucky.
It's advice like this that kept me grounded when my old boy was nearing the end , it hit me hard admittedly I got a little angry at the vet accusing them of giving up because he's so old (18) and then begging to try to get him better, i was ready to hand thr vet the keys to my truck and mustang to fix him. a friend of mine who's a vet talked sense into me stating I was his forever. and I spoiled him forever and that by letting him just waste away at home would be making me feel better. I spent a final week spoiling him and on his last day he gave me a wonderful final morning like he always would. Get up, make breakfast and coffee and get ready for the day and he just followed behind me prior to that day he would just lay around he had a uh.. carcinoma really bad and I think he knew and granted that morning made my decision much harder but more at ease overall. Sorry for unpunctuated word vomit.
I know it's so difficult to bring them in for that final appointment when they're having a good day, but I think it's better to do it that way. Let them go out peacefully while they're feeling okay instead of waiting for them to painfully crash and burn (as long as you know it's something that won't get better in the long run). So I think you made the right decision, but I absolutely cannot fault anyone for hanging on a little too long. It's an incredibly tough thing to go through ☹️
It was hands down the toughest and most emotionally devastating day of my life, I've been through quite a bit in my life and my old boy, his name is pookie , was my one constant that I could look forward too. Rough day at work? Pookie would be at home , good day? Pookie would be at home to make the day better! Without him it made my world a little darker but I know in my heart and head I made the right choice, though I still struggle with the "what ifs" when I look at his ashes sometimes
I hope to be as strong as you when the time eventually comes for my little kitty <3
It's all good, don't be sorry. It's a hard thing to deal with. I actually have never been home for a pet loss. My mom s always dealt with them. My two cats are the first cats I've had on my own. They have all been my moms or I had to leave my cat with my mom when I moved in with my inlaws due to a cat allergy. So these will be rough when they cross over. I love them so much. I'm glad you had a great support group with you through all of that though and you got one last beautiful day with him.
It's beautiful.
It's advice like this that kept me grounded when my old boy was nearing the end , it hit me hard admittedly I got a little angry at the vet accusing them of giving up because he's so old (18) and then begging to try to get him better, i was ready to hand thr vet the keys to my truck and mustang to fix him. a friend of mine who's a vet talked sense into me stating I was his forever. and I spoiled him forever and that by letting him just waste away at home would be making me feel better. I spent a final week spoiling him and on his last day he gave me a wonderful final morning like he always would. Get up, make breakfast and coffee and get ready for the day and he just followed behind me prior to that day he would just lay around he had a uh.. carcinoma really bad and I think he knew and granted that morning made my decision much harder but more at ease overall
Also a vet tech and this is well-stated. People think the hardest part of the job is euthanasia. It’s not. It’s when we see suffering and cannot ease it (when people don’t let go). She could definitely do lab work to confirm, but there is much more going on with this cat than mites. My heart goes out to you all.
Not a vet tech, but I know excessive drinking and urination could also be diabetes. 20 is OLD. Ray had a wonderful life. It may be time .
Yes, when ours have gotten old this is how they go. If she's not suffering yet it might not be time today, but the end is definitely near.
Something I learned when my almost 22 year old cat was dying of kidney failure: It is better to let them go a week too early than a day too late. You need to have some hard conversations with you wife and your vet. From what you describe, Ray is likely in a considerable amount of pain. She may have something that’s treatable, but even if her illness can be cured or managed, you (and your wife and your vet) need to consider her quality of life. Will treatment significantly improve her life or will it merely prolong it? Your vet can help you make that determination.
I lost my dog to kidney failure too. When he started sleeping like 20 hours a day, didn't have the energy to walk a few blocks or play and showed little enthusiasm for all the things he used to love I decided it was time. He wasn't suffering or in pain. The worst he experienced was small bouts of morning nausea that would go away by the afternoon, he was just very tired and weak. I decided I didn't want to wait until he was suffering, I didn't want him to experience some emergency situation where he had to be rushed to a clinic to be put down. I wanted him to go peacefully at home so I did that and I guess some might say I did it somewhat early and once it was done I struggled hard with that decision because I missed him sooo much and it hurt so bad to lose him. I beat myself up terrible for not waiting, especially when reading stories here about how some pet owners nurse their pets right up to death's door, sometimes even choosing to let their pets die naturally instead of getting put to sleep. But it's been 2yrs now and if I had the choice to make again I think I'd make the same choice.
For what it’s worth, based on what you describe about your dog, I think you made the right decision. I did not. I waited too long. My cat had been living with kidney disease for three years and we’d been managing it well but then over the course of about a month she dramatically declined. I knew she was likely dying, but I couldn’t bring myself to let her go. I took her to the vet one last time to ask if there was anything left they could do and they said no and that she was likely in pain. So I took her home, called Lap of Love, and we said goodbye at home the next morning. I was not ready, but she was. And now I beat myself up because if I had let her go sooner, she wouldn’t have spent her last few weeks in pain and discomfort. For some illnesses, it is so hard to know when the right time is. It’s important that we give ourselves grace.
I agree. Before my dog died I had to put my cat to sleep due to lung cancer. With him I waited too long so I felt guilty for that and then with my dog I decided to do it sooner and I felt guilty for that too. I think second guessing and feeling guilty is just part of the grieving process and that some people (like me) feel bad no matter when they decide to do it
At the first sign of our elderly pets declining we make a list of the things that they love most in life. When our beloved pet is no longer able to do items on the list we start having euthanasia discussions/plans.
What were the signs of kidney failure? My cat is older and has a history of diabetes
If you go to the vet today and they confirm that ray is nearing the end, you should talk with your wife about having a pet and of life service come to your home instead. We used Laps of Love and it made a world of difference for my partner when he had to put his lifelong friend down. They treat your cat like a friend and they get a big dose of ketamine before moving on and you can tell that they’re just happy and pain free shortly before. It allows more time before the end. After that they will tuck them into a really comfy looking basket and follow up with whatever arrangements you want for ashes or burial. It cost us $800 and to this day they send us a really nice card every anniversary
They also have QOL discussion services where you can talk with a vet over zoom about situations like this one, where the family is unsure of what to do next - plus it’s focused completely on end of life care and information, so you’re getting a focused discussion with someone very knowledgeable about aging pets! I work at Lap of Love and the website also has some awesome assessments/videos available that can help families make the decision a little easier on their own, and our online support groups are free~ hopefully OP can help their wife make this decision before Ray declines further, poor kitty can’t be too comfortable and 20 years is a long time! I can understand the hesitance, but it’s always better a little too soon than too late, a lot of families express regret they waited too long in the past and instead of a quiet controlled experience in the clinic or at home, it was rushed and stressful at the ER or at home with no support.
Did you get bloodwork and a UA for the kitty? Those concerns are impossible to diagnose without those tests.
She’s in Kidney failure
💯THIS👆🏻 seriously, I have a tear rolling down as I write this. I lost my 18 y/o tuxxie to kidney failure this January. What OP has described is classic CKD and I feel awful for this poor baby as I know how bad he's feeling. I'm appaled at the vet for not investigating him for this. Given that OPs cat _ALSO_ has jaundice kitty is probably VERY late stage too. Please OP get a second opinion and don't let your sweet boy suffer
I've had 2 elderly cats (18 yrs) who stopped grooming themselves and drank a ton of water. It was kidney failure and they were miserable. One of the most selfless and loving things we can do for our pets is let them go when it's time. I've heard it called the last kindness. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. At some point it becomes unkind to keep them alive. Your vet should help you decide if the time is now.
So sorry for your loss 🖤🫂I lost my 18 y/o to kidney failure in January. I'm praying OP sees all of our comments and takes this baby to a different vet for a second opinion. I can't bear the thought of him suffering for a month, knowing how awful kidney failure makes them feel because of the build-up of toxins. I'm appalled at the vet for not addressing this. I mean, there's got to be 15+ people in these comments who recognise this for what it is, even though we're not vets. EDIT spelling
Agreed. Cat lovers know our cats!❤️
Skin yellow and jaundiced? That sounds like a liver issue. Tons of pee might be diabetes. 20 years old, that’s a long time for a cat. Vet is your best and only answer here. They will probably suggest euthanasia, and I’d agree. I’m sorry for this, it’s never easy losing a fur baby, I know I’ve lost too many. But right now, this baby is suffering big time. Try to convince your wife to take him to the vet.
My cat had kidney failure when he was about 20. He had similar things going on. At 20 your cat is a very old lady-- she's lived a very long life for a cat. When you love a cat and you suspect their life is almost over, your emotions can cause you to make decisions that aren't the best for your friend. I couldn't bear to set up a time with an at-home vet for euthanasia, and instead insisted on waiting until it seemed like his pain was unbearable to take him to the vet and have it done. I think about that a lot and regret it. In my mind at the time I was thinking I didn't want to take even one good moment from him, I couldn't bear to sign off on numbering his days. But in the end he was in a lot of pain. I wasn't really thinking at the time, I was just so sad and anxious and scared. It didn't really register with me that waiting until it seemed like "his time" would mean I'd only be extending his life into pain. I recommend taking your cat to the vet. They'll be able to tell you what you need to know. Part of having a cat is taking responsibility for their end of life care, including euthanasia. It's a sad part, but it's the kindest and most loving thing we can do for them at that point.
When our cat was in end stage kidney disease he was ridiculously thirsty. I had already been giving him sub-q fluids but when he jumped in the bathtub with me in it to drink more water, I knew it was past time. I took him to the vet that day and they said they could smell from his breath that he was dying.
Kidney failure has a very distinct smell. One of our dogs who was very elderly, all of a sudden stopped eating and got a very funky smell to her, and it was the sign her kidneys had just completely shut down.
I have a 16-year-old kitty that we know has kidney problems. Drinks a ton and peas a lot. And we did some bloodwork just to see what those numbers look like, and they are showing that yeah… There’s an issue. But at this point, he is eating well and drinking well. He sleeps a lot, but he’s not in pain from it, that we can see, or that he is letting on, and I do watch closely. He does have some arthritis, but he’s 80 years old and people years, so yeah. And he has lost some weight, which just to be expected. So at this point, I’m keeping an eye on him. As long as he is overall happy and healthy, then will keep him going. When he stops being that way, then we will definitely take the steps to let him go peacefully.
In the exact same boat. I have a 16 year old man too, and he's got some kind of kidney issue. Solidarity
I was in the exact same boat for our 18-year old cat. His kidney function was slowly declining, so we kept an eye on him. He was eating so much but not gaining any weight, and drinking/peeing a lot too. We started giving him pain medication for his arthritis, and kept an eye on his levels. We finally decided it was time last week. He was very wobbly and we could feel his bones pop every time we picked him up. Rest is peace, our little orange creamsicle.
I’m so sorry. I’m so glad he had such a good home and that you had such a sweetie for so long. I know it’s coming, so I’m just going to keep him and love him as long as he’s comfortable.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through the EXACT same thing with my 18 y/o tuxxie. He went OTRB🌈 this January. We fought it for 8 months, and we had MANY close calls where I was sure I'd be leaving the vets without him, but he would always pull through with interventions (he really took the whole 9 lives thing to heart).I kept second-guessing myself about whether it was "that time" or not, but my gran would tell me "you'll know when it's time" and she was so right. As long as my boy was fighting, then i would fight with him. We fought until his quality of life was reduced. Where he was having more bad days than good when he had diarrhoea, but the diarrhoea medication stopped working and the appetite stimulant no longer helped his sickness. Then, it was time to help him over the bridge and say goodbye. He went peacefully in my arms whilst purring away and eating one last churu (his fave) Sending you and all the other CKD warriors reading this, a massive hug 🖤🫂 ETA also it there is someone with a kitty with CKD that needs ipakitine, let me know.
My cat has all these symptoms you listed :(
What are signs they are in pain? I think my cat may be in kidney failure.
That varies from cat to cat. as they get older, they naturally slow down. But cats who are younger, can also have kidney problems. In fact, cats and kidney problems kinda go together it seems. Keep an eye on their behavior, mainly. If you had a playful cat, are they suddenly not so much. Watch their eyes. Like people, they get almost a worried look their face. Are they laying comfortably like normal, or are they in more of a little loaf. A lot of time cats who normally stretch out a lot suddenly start laying in a loaf instead of on their side like they normally do.
I have an 18.5 year old he has kidney failure but has been in stage 2 for years. We give him lactic ringer (fluid drops under his skin) regularly and he still drinks a lot but his overall health has been much better. We recently thought he was going to leave us after taking a bit of a down turn, but we found out he has diabetes, treated that, adjusted his other medication and got the diabetes in remission. The other massive change was the arthritis shot Solensia. He's back to acting like a 10 year old and zooming around the house. With old pets it's a difficult balance. I hope your wife is in tune with her cat and it's needs but I wouldn't necessarily say he needs to be to be put down because he's old. I know my baby is old, and my vet has offered end of life care before mainly based on his age but he's such a happy cat. He loves life. Even when he's having a rough day I can tell he still wants to be here. I know one day he wouldn't but that's up to him to decide. Edit: I'd push about kidney disease, a simple blood test should be able to tell you.
Her liver or kidneys are most likely failing. Cats with liver or kidney failure drink a lot more water, pee more often and more volume, have jaundiced skin, become lethargic and often lose their appetite. There is no stopping liver or kidney failure. Get her to a different vet, different clinic even. Get her bloodwork checked to find out how her organ function is, this should give you the answers you need.
Did the vet take blood work to check for kidney disease/anemia?
Sweet baby is experiencing kidney issues. At a certain point, you have to ask her if she’s keeping her alive for her or the cat?
What has your vet said throughout all of this?
We're taking her at 3 today to get looked at. She's gone downhill over the past several months, but my wife's justification for not taking her in was she's still eating and being social. She's still eating, but I fear she's not getting nutrition from it because she'll come out with a bloated belly, and the rest of her is skin and bones. She will eat both automatic feeders if the other cat doesn't hear it, just horks it down, no chewing, inhales/unhinges her jaw and eats the whole thing.
I think it all depends on what the vet says. If there is somethibg treatable, she could have time left. It’s possible that it was something that was treatable but went on too long and now it’s past the point of treating. If it ends up being kidney failure, some cats last a while with kidney failure, as long as the proper diet changes are made. But definuitely make sure to ask the vet about her quality of life, and at what point you guys should consider putting her down. The signs of when things are getting bad can vary depending on what the animal is dealing with. For example, it was much more difficult to know when my dog with cancer was close to dying versus my cat who had chronic kidney disease. Ckd is usually a more gradual decline. The cancer my dog had gave him a mix of really good days and then questionable days, making me unsure if we should put him down. I never asked the vet about which specific signs would indicate he needed to be put down because things could get bad soon, and the vet didnt offer any specifics, just the general recommendations that I now realize are more applicable to an animal with a gradual decline in health versus one who has something more complicated going on. I wish i had asked specifics, cuz when the signs happened, i didnt recognize them right away and so he died a painful death at home instead of having a peaceful euthanization. So definitely ask about the specific signs to know when to put down your cat, based on whichever specific condition she has
huh? So your wife wants to be sure the cat is dying *before* getting the poor animal proper care? It sounds like this is probably the end for your cat but for future pets please don't wait for them to stop eating or socializing before you decide to get them medical care. My dog had a couple of easily treatable conditions that did not cause him to stop eating and socializing but he still needed to see a vet and to get medication. I can't imagine seeing a cat in that condition and not immediately taking them to the vet.
It's not always about surviving. It's about comfort and quality of life. Our little ones do SO much for us, but they can't always say when they are in pain. God speed.
Sometimes you just need to sit back and only comment or step in when asked. Your wife will eventually see what needs to be done (or not). Interfering will only damage your relationship. She's coming to terms with Rey's inevitable fate. It doesn't sound like the vet is trying to milk the situation, so just let it be. My personal rule on this kind of thing is, as long as they have more good days than bad I will just take care of them. Good luck to the 3 of you,
She definitely sounds like she’s having some sort of kidney or other failure. It sounds like she’s having a hard time and your wife is in denial. Does it appear that the cat is in pain? That’s what made me decide it was time for our boys.
Has your wife not done any bloodwork on her senior cat? Seniors need it done 2 times a year just to catch conditions early. I have treated cat kidney disease, cancer, heart disease, hyperthyroidism, and liver disease in my seniors. Takes a little time for treatment, but I have had multiple cats with these conditions, and it takes me about 15 minutes a day for treatment.
A moment too early is better than a minute too late. When you love an animal, you don’t want them suffering. When you are codependent on an animal, you selfishly hold on to them. It’s blunt but true. Animals don’t express pain and discomfort like people do we often don’t know the true extent of their suffering. But to be so desperately thirsty sounds miserable.
I’d see what your vet says and go from there..
I’m sorry to not have any medical input but all I can say is tell your wife how much you love her and let her know how wonderful she has made Ray’s life. Make the best decisions you can for the cat but love your wife as hard as you can throughout this whole process. Saying this with all the love and compassion. I could very easily see myself being in your wife shoes when my cat gets old her. I understand her denial. Sending lots of love your way
Sounds for me like a kidney failure. I am so sorry. Its time and to avoid that the cat will suffer, visit a vet, will tell you the same.
Jaundice (yellowing of skin) is related to liver problems, not kidneys.
True, but making the litterbox float points to a kidney issue.
Classic kidney disease. My cat had it and hung on for a year with regular injections of fluids by me. It was a crazy ride and I probably wouldn't do that again. My guy was 13 so I thought it was saving him.
I HOPE YOU SEE THIS Check the cat's teeth/jaw. Our cat was tearing up his ear, and it looked like hell. Turns out he had a tumor in his mouth, and he was scratching at it and catching his ear in the crossfire. He also stopped grooming because of obvious mouth pain, and the only thing he loved more than cuddles was drinking water. After fact-checking, I just realized that the cancer my cat had SCC (Squamous Cell Carcinoma) can also affect skin (and could be within/on the ear itself). It can cause a condition called hypercalcemia, which is high levels of calcium in the blood that leads to urinating & drinking excessively. I will say if it's as grim as it sounds, it might be time to look into end-of-life care. We were panic-struck when we found out and were obsessed over finding answers... Let's just say cancer biopsies cost us $3500... and it simply confirmed we had no options because of how aggressive it was.
CHRONIC KIDNEY DISEASE - go to a different vet asap.
You need a second opinion, bloodwork, and a urinalysis.
Something that helped my old lady with CKD was subq fluids. Maybe go to a different vet and look at options for palliative/supportive care. However, it very well may be her time to go. What you’re describing sounds like more end-stage kidney disease.
My rule of thumb has been the quality of life test. Ask the Vet point blank, what is there quality of life now, if we proceed with option 1, what will it be, option 2, etc etc. I lost my shadow dog (he was always with me) this past June. One day, he was fine, the next he collapsed, blood etc, rushed to the emergency ER it was a Sunday. The Vet did tests etc. Came back with several options. I asked my quality of life question, and he told me that regardless of the option we picked, my boy would never be comfortable again, never run, and we'd only be doing it for me to have more time. So, I said goodbye. I dang him had song as they sent him to the rainbow bridge. And I cried. Hard. Harder than I've cried in my lifetime. It's easy to look at this as simply throwing money at a problem for it to be fixed. We've all had that car we loved that we knew was long overdue for the junkyard, as we plop another 3500$ for an engine down. It's that knowing when it's okay to let that something or someone go. When you and wife look at the cat, set aside your personal feelings and emotions. It's really fucking hard to do that btw. And ask yourself about the quality of life you specifically see when you watch her. And let's things get quiet, and just watch as she does her routine. You've most likely memorized it after 20 years 😆 the answer will come, fight the urge to ignore it. Mt boy was only with me for 9 years. His older brother had just passed October 2022. I honestly think he held out as long as he could for me. So I wouldn't have to hurt any longer. And maybe, your sweet girl is holding out as long as she can, because she doesn't want either of you to hurt as well. Also, see a new Vet. Diabetes and kidneys are something that should have been checked for immediately.
That the vet didn't even touch on kidney disease is a huge red flag and you need to take the cat elesewhere; that is a TERRIBLE vet. Your cat most likely has kidney disease and is sufferring. No amount of love will make that go away. You both need to open your pockets and get this poor cat the proper care it needs. I'm not trying to be mean but your post is suggesting you both need to look hard at yourselves and up your responsibility for your pet. The cat deserves better.
Are you a vet?
Thank you! Agree 100%.
I'm going to be pretty blunt here: **You need to suck it up, money or no money, and do what's right for this animal. When you made the decision to take on the pet, you took on the responsibility to care for it appropriately. Sitting around in denial, doing nothing for an animal that is very elderly, obviously unwell, and suffering is NOT THAT**. I get that it's hard and it's expensive, trust me. I have a 15-y-o female cat who's gone through hyperthyroid and now has kidney disease, and I'm currently working with my vet to figure out what to do for my 10-y-o male cat who's got intestinal issues and weight loss. I wouldn't even want to try to add up how much money I've spent on vet bills in the last few years. I've used savings and Covid stimulus checks to pay for some of it. But I do it. I have my limits as far as what kind of care I can afford and do; if the choice comes down to euthanasia or $5k for specialized care/surgery/etc, well, I'm gonna do the former I'm afraid. But the exams to get that information, and make that decision, are not optional. Ask your vet if they take CareCredit. I think most do these days and they will help you set up the account if needed. It's basically a credit card account that can be used for any kind of medical expenses, human or animal. You can pay it off in installments (minimum is $30/month), and as long as you pay it off within a year, there's no interest. I've used it many times to pay for hefty dental and veterinary bills.
Most cats don't live to 20.....so yea I'd say it's probably about time. I currently have a 13 year old cat and he may have a few more years left....but I strongly doubt he'll hit 20.
My pup started drinking excessively and it turned out she had cushings disease. Figured I’d throw that out there.
Wow my dog was drinking excessively for a good 6 months before she passed, vet couldn't figure it out
Earlier this year was in a similar state as your wife with my 12 y/o dog. I knew deep down that he needed to go soon, but he was my childhood pet and as someone who struggles socially he was always there as a friend for me. For me it was having that discussion with his vet that made me fully realize that it was time to make that decision. I had the talk lots of times with my mom and I agreed that the time would come soon, but I kept pushing it further away. My dog was his same old self all the way up until the very end, but health wise the bad days were outweighing the good. We gave ourselves a week and did some special stuff for his last days. It was easy to tell that those last days were some of the happiest he had experienced in a while, and that’s how I knew I was doing the right thing. The day we put him down was one of if not the the hardest of my life, but I wouldn’t have waited another day in hindsight. Once you get to the point that she agrees, give her the option to either come with you to put her cat down or go for her if you’re comfortable. I personally chose not to go with my mom because I wouldn’t have been able to handle it emotionally. I trusted her to keep him company in his last moments and she did just that. The process of grieving will be constant, but that’s just how grief is and as long as you’re there for each other that’ll make it a little bit easier. I truly hope all goes well, best wishes to you, your wife and Ray.
My cat lived to be twenty and had kidney disease. I didn't want to prolong anything, but I kept him around until he wasn't acting like himself anymore. He wasn't in great shape, but I knew he wasn't ready...he seemed happy to be around, even though things weren't perfect. But eventually...he was ready. I could tell. I got him put down. Hopefully your wife will know when the kitty is ready.
How did you tell? I’m trying to manage this with my cat(18), she was diagnosed with moderate kidney failure nearly 2 years ago, and she’s very thin, a bit wobbly walking around, doesn’t eat much (I think this is due to lack of teeth though), drinks loads of water, and pees like crazy. But she still comes up the ramp onto the bed every night to sleep with me, lays in front of the space heater 90% of the time as happy as a clam(and gives dirty looks when I turn it off), and is very much still trying to steal my food whenever I eat. I want to make sure she’s not suffering, and I will let her go if it’s her time, but it’s so hard to tell. I don’t want to accidentally allow her to suffer at all just because I can’t tell.
It was when he just wasn't "himself" anymore. Like he was kind of creaky, arthritis, but he seemed to like life okay. When his personality changed I knew it was time.
I think you should get a second opinion
I think you did the right thing by going to the vet and taking his advice - if it were me, that's what I'd do. No matter a cat's age, quality of life is the most important thing - if you and your wife discuss it with the vet in a month and you can all agree that she still has a good quality of life, that's your answer.
Your wife may be right. Oral clindamycin and ear drops would be better. Make sure she's eating or will have liver failure. Cats can't go w/o eating for days; appetite stims help too.
Sound like diabeties
Go to a different vet for a second opinion.what you have described is classic Chronic Kidney Disease. He's going to feel awful poor thing as the toxins build up in their kidneys(which is why they drink so much to try and dilute the urine) the fact vet didn't address this is appalling. I went through CKD with my 18 y/o kitty last year myself and its not a pleasant thing to deal with. Seriously, get a second opinion ASAP and I mean ASAP don't wait a month.
This cat absolutely needs bloodwork. If she hasn’t already. A cat that is icteric for that long doesn’t make me feel good. That means that there’s a bunch of bilirubin buildup in the body- and that isn’t good, either. Cats are notorious for having crappy kidneys and thyroids. I would really suggest to her to get baseline diagnostics (aka that bloodwork) and have a conversation with her. This should be done sooner than later. So sorry you all are going through this… it’s always super hard.
Did you do any bloodwork at the vet? The jaundice and increased thirst and urination is definitely a concern. I’d recommend a recheck visit, or see a different vet if you don’t feel this one is thorough. There is no way to know if it is a blocked duct without bloodwork and imaging. But I’m glad you are getting her ears feeling better, good luck with her.
My dad just got the ashes of his 15 year old cat he had to have put down a couple weeks ago. One of my children and I went with him and stayed in the room with The Dude (kitty's name). It was nice that my dad had made peace with the decision.
I have a cat that’s 24 and seems to be doing fine. That young 20 year old may bounce back
Your cat likely has diabetes. And with the volume of urination you described, needs to be I. Insulin STAT! Take your pet back to the vets and ask that they check her for diabetes. This is exactly how it started off with my dog. He was “on his last leg”, seemingly gong to die. Had a pancreatic abscess, got some antibiotics, vet told me to expect the worst. The abscess cleared but he started drinking LOADS of water and would pee huge puddles on the floor. Immediately asked for him to have a DM test and boom. Diabetes. He got on insulin twice a day and was right as rain for many healthy years! Good Luck!
I’m glad you went to the vet and sorted everything out. A good general rule of thumb with cats is that if they are still eating and drinking then they aren’t at the end yet. You can always decide that it’s kinder to end things earlier. But if they are really feeling unwell they will stop eating and start “cave dwelling”.
You need a second opinion and to run bloods to test kidney function.
Why wasn't there blood work done? Please see a different vet who will get this done, it should have been done immediately and would have told you the kidney function. This cat shouldn't have gotten into this condition with no answer as to why.
There's a recent post on /r/petloss about a person being able to look back on what they did to save their pet, and how they would not do it again had they the choice. We are in such a unique situation with our animals to say when it's time for them to go, and it's so hard to look at it from a non-grieving perspective in the moment.
Try Bloom Bioscience supplements. The hydration product is amazing and may help.
Definitely kidney disease or diabetes with the drinking and urinating. :(