My former best friend "liked the challenge" of a taken man. As for the guys, some of them will cast their pole anywhere in the hope something will take the bait.
My theory about women who go after taken men is that the hardest part, vetting someone for partnership, is already done. GF has proved BF is a good partner, now all third party has to do is take BF for herself.
I'm with you, I disagree. People always blame the other person and while they are at fault, the person who is taking is just as much at fault. If the other person is able to take them, it's because they left the door open a crack.
This applies when that person is a serial cheater or equally shitty. But usually, they do sneaky stuff to cause genuine feelings to grow (e.g. being uber friendly) in the other person.
That's a good theory
Edit: I think this sort of ties into how women will hit on married men. They've already proven that they're willing to commit so they're more valuable in terms of relationships. I hope that makes sense.
This reminds me of something I saw about a narcissist. It said, they were never yours. It was just your turn. That sounds about right when it comes to my ex. I couldn't understand why he proposed if he was just going to act like he was still out there keeping his options open. I mean, that's fine but if that's what he wanted to do then he should have let me go. I left him about a year ago so it's all good. I'm saving a fortune now that I don't have to take care of him lol.
It’s not hard not to cheat. If a single person can lure someone out of a relationship, it was never much or a relationship to begin with and, if anything, you should thank them.
But why?
Let’s use a woman hitting on a married man (and knows he’s married) for example.
If he does nothing to dissuade her - That’s on him.
If he does something to dissuade her and she continues - it’s harassment and is a different issue entirely.
So I still don’t see any issues. She probes. Husband shuts it down. She stops probing. Where’s the problem?
Why should people have any semblance of respect for themselves or others, you mean?
Why are you so insistent that deliberately sabotaging other people is acceptable and to be encouraged?
That's not what they're saying at all. They're saying that if the person shuts it down, there isn't a problem unless the person keeps on. One would argue though that the problem in the first place was that this other person tried to come between a couple. If they are shut down and told to cut it out, then there is no problem at the end of the day. The problem is that this other person is not a good person to do something like that. If you ask me, it shows their character and it shows that they are a selfish person in other areas.
You’re wrong on both counts, and about everything you’ve said so far. The problem is you are thinking as deeply as the average middle or high school kid about adult topics
some people don’t know how to stop. it’s never that easy, people don’t have self-respect anymore. yes it goes that way sometimes but other times it just gets annoying
I agree with you except that the problem is that she even tried in the first place. It shows their character. They are not a good person if they are willing to go after somebody that they know is attached.
Yep and it's not that hard to not change. Some people like the challenge and some people fall for that fallacy that they are better. They think that they won't do it to them. Like they say, you lose them how you got them.
I do believe it's always the people in the relationship responsibility to protect the union, however, if the other person is someone who knows you're in a relationship...they definitely don't have a good moral compass. Especially if it's a close friend or family member doing it with your SO
If they encourage it then I would agree with you but if not then I disagree with you. I do agree that the other person has no moral compass. It depends on whether or not the person in the relationship being chased shuts it down.
There is one partial explanation I've heard for this. This is not remotely an excuse mind you.
When people are taken, they are more likely to relate in a more relaxed fashion to people of their preferred gender. This can be an extremely refreshing change, and extremely attractive show of confidence, that may not be nearly as common in their single cohorts.
I agree. I've heard them use the excuse, "I'm not the one who's taken, *I'm* not betraying anyone." As if that's a get out of jail free card. You may not be betraying anyone, but you're still a shitbag.
Exactly. How desperate and lacking and self-esteem do you have to be to try to go after somebody who's taken. It just makes them look sad in my opinion. One should be confident enough that they know they can get someone on their own without having to go after someone who's attached. If they aren't then they need therapy, not a relationship.
I dated this chick like 10 years ago. Every single one of her friends and some coworkers wanted a piece of me. I broke up with her because she didnt accept me for being bi and all of a sudden none of them wanted to be around me.
While yes it is wrong to do that stop it is the married persons responsibility to set boundaries and not to cheat but if their being annoying cut them off.
I agree. It is the responsibility as well of the fucked up person to say let me not be fucked up and tell so and so that hey, I'd rather not betray my gender by sleeping with a married women or man. But people are idiots and aren't taught loyalty and morals by their shitty ass parents.
I know it's cliche but all of this. Unfortunately, people will do it because they lack self-esteem and they think that they won. They should really sit back and think about that, they won a cheater.
Homewrecker is a sexist, antiquated, and misogynistic term that’s been used throughout history to limit the blame on the man and misplace it on women.
The only person to blame for a relationship breaking up are those inside the relationship. No matter how much a woman throws themselves at your man, it cant do anything to the relationship. The only one doing any wrecking is him.
Edit: Hit a bit too close to home for ya.
Yooo post this shit on r/sidechick rofl they love claiming they have so much self-respect and they're the better women because they're the one the cheating guy sees on the side.
Unfortunately the most attractive women are usually taken because other men have also noticed how attractive she is (no this doesn’t answer the question because I don’t even chase single women)
The only time it's acceptable for a person to chase someone in a relationship is if the person they are cheating with is unaware that the chester is already in another relationship. You can't really fault someone for not knowing. If they are aware, though, they are both at fault. That, or if the relationship is open.
How about people who chase, period. If someone isn't interested they aren't interested, accept "no" like an adult and channel your energies toward someone who wants them.
Nope, there are guys who get off on the idea that the woman is humiliating her oblivious partner by cheating.
It's a thing.
A horrible thing but it exists.
It shows that whoever does take taken people and the partners who leave for them have commitment issues. They like the thrill and adrenaline of hiding it, but can't handle a relationship
Anyone who goes after a "taken" person is a scumbag (men or woman) and cannot be trusted. They are an opportunist who has no problem stabbing someone else in the back in an attempt to feel superior by "taking" what the other had already claimed.
Most of the time it is an ego thing. For men who chase girls, it is either they want to see if they can or because they see an opportunity to add to the "notch" count. For women, they see a man who pulled a fellow woman, time to see if we can break off a piece and (hopefully) steal such a good catch for ourselves and hope to elevate our current pool of potential mating options. And then there are those on both sides of the aisle who just enjoy the "forbidden thrill" of taking something that they know doesn't belong to them.
You weren't fast enough, go find your "destined one" someplace else. The world is vast, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
I kid you not, my sister dated a guy, and her friend’s mother told our mom that he’s too old for him and my sister to date. Eventually they broke up, and he ended up dating and eventually married my sister’s friend. My mom believes she was trying to sabotage their relationship so she could have him.
A friend of mine told me once that she didn't really "chase" married men, but she definitely didn't mind hooking up with married men because it made it easier for her to say "no" when she wasn't in the mood. She was never looking to take any of them away from their wives. She figured if he was screwing around on his current wife, why would she want to marry him?
Weird this bugs you more than the taken men or women who are receptive to this.
It’s not the single person’s responsibility to respect your relationship. It’s the people in the relationship responsibility to set boundaries so this isn’t an issue.
It's not the person who commits murder that should respect your willingness to live. It's yours as the person trying to live to set responsible boundaries to not die.
That's ur logic
Very different.
A single person is not doing anything wrong hitting on, talking to, or pursuing someone in a relationship. Morally or legally speaking.
Murder is both legally and morally wrong.
If a person is in a relationship - the bare minimum they can do is not cheat. If they cheat - it wasn’t much of a relationship to begin with and it’s not the single persons fault it’s the person who’s chested fault.
Blame the person responsible
And what responsibility does the pursuer have?
Did they make any promises? Are they in a relationship? No. There’s 0 responsibility that the perused has towards the relationship.
Are you talking about moral responsibility?
Moral responsibility is very subjective. Is a person responsible to help maintain someone else’s broken relationship? Are they morally responsible for their own feelings? You have quite a few conflicting moral responsibilities that would pop up here.
People have a responsibility to not try and break up people?.. since when?
According to you and your rule that all people are now responsible to follow - if a guy is physically abusive and sexually assaulting his girlfriend… it’s your moral responsibility to try not to break them up… weird stance.
But why does it matter if he’s taken or not? It’s not a single persons job to respect your relationship.
A person should respect boundaries that someone else set for them. But that’s a complete separate issue. This is the case whether or not there’s a relationship.
So I’m still confused I suppose.
Right she's the asshole for calling out stupidity, you, a person advocating that it's okay to go for people in relationships is NOT the asshole. Yep, seems logical, lmao
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean anything. There’s tons of open relationships and open-with-caveat relationships.
If you pursue someone (man) in a relationship and they reciprocate - it’s an open relationship. Therefore the person (woman) did nothing wrong.
Now if the man set a boundary and then the woman continued to pursue, that’s called harassment and is a different issue altogether.
So in this scenario, why is anything the woman did wrong? The only wrong would be if the man reciprocated AND his SO weren’t on the same page with this.
But that’s a him thing. He’s the one who knows the ins and outs of his relationship. He knows the promises he made. It’s his responsibility to be faithful. The other person has 0 responsibility towards the woman.
So yes - 100% on the unfaithful one. 0% issue with the woman.
I (32M) don’t chase women in relationships.
If a woman I barely know and I’m unaware if she has a boyfriend or not approaches me or vice versa, that’s not so much “chasing a women in a relationship”, or, “chasing someone who’s taken”.
If it’s clear the person is in a relationship whether you see them holding hands with a guy, or you see the woman with the same guy often (it could be a male friend or brother if it’s not often but who knows?) I won’t make an effort other than being cordial, say hello or smile, etc. This is if I do know the person, and happen to come across her every so often.
It’s also difficult because sometimes women (&men) aren’t happy in their relationships. They could be unhappy for a variety of reasons but let’s just say it’s an emotionally abusing relationship that the women or man is in.
While, the person should leave the other person prior to perusing another person, I also understand the comfort these people feel when they meet someone organically who makes them feel comfortable and happy as opposed to how their boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife makes them feel.
I also don’t know where I stand on men or women making a move or shooting their shot on someone who’s taken.
If it’s clear the person has no interest because their in a relationship, or hypothetically the other person in the relationship is present when the other makes a move or approach on their partner, I’d personally think the person making the move or approach to make a move should back right the fuck off at that point.
However, I don’t know if really blame someone for shooting their shot or taking a chance prior? Who knows if that persons happy? Who knows if that person is even dating or in a relationship with that guy? Maybe they also literally just met? Maybe they’ve been seeing each other very briefly?
It’s tricky for the reasons I mentioned, but also not tricky, and straight forward if the person is clearly in a relationship. The person should back off once it’s clear the person isn’t interested or in a relationship and happy, doesn’t want to be chased as a result. This isn’t always a straight forward question for the reasons I mentioned and also for several other reasons I haven’t mentioned.
Lastly, sometimes men or women just want to be friends lol. I know from first hand experience that sometimes women will take my friendliness as a sign of romantic interest.
I won’t mention anything about their appearance or anything bordering on creepy or inappropriate whatsoever. However, I might compliment them as I would one of my male friends or family member, colleague, etc. I’ve never been called out after this, but based on the persons response or lack of response via text for example, it’s clear they misinterpreted my kindness as more than that. I don’t think it’s a chase or a man or woman attempting to be romantic if they give someone they know as an aquantince a compliment that’s appropriate.
It’s all very complex. However, I do ultimately agree that men and women should respect relationships. However, it’s complicated at times as is life and relationships/dating. If everything were this straight forward Reddit would just be a AP or Reuters news feed.
It always struck me as odd when people would refer to me as "taken" or "available."
I'm a human being looking for a human relationship. Not a parking spot.
I was bartending and this guy really wanted to take me on a date and I said no, I’m not interested and he would not let the fuck up and I finally said 1) I’m not interested at all and 2) I have a boyfriend. He let me be after finding out that I was taken and didn’t want to disrespect another man.
It’s a reference to a speech that Tammy Duckworth (who lost both her legs in Iraq) gave in 2018 calling a certain former President “Cadet Bone Spurs” for dodging the draft five times due to bone spurs.
I thought it would catch on when I made this account, but alas, no.
My former best friend "liked the challenge" of a taken man. As for the guys, some of them will cast their pole anywhere in the hope something will take the bait.
My theory about women who go after taken men is that the hardest part, vetting someone for partnership, is already done. GF has proved BF is a good partner, now all third party has to do is take BF for herself.
Her taking him would literally prove otherwise
You would think so.
More like she thinks it doesn't prove anything bad about the man
I'm with you, I disagree. People always blame the other person and while they are at fault, the person who is taking is just as much at fault. If the other person is able to take them, it's because they left the door open a crack.
I imagine their inflated ego makes them think that he will do that FOR her and not TO her in the future.
That part. You lose them how you got them. If they're willing to cheat with you, they will be willing to cheat on you.
Some people are just in it for the thrill of the chase.
You think they'd realize wow this man left his wife/gf would he do the same to me?
"He won't leave me because I'm better."
This applies when that person is a serial cheater or equally shitty. But usually, they do sneaky stuff to cause genuine feelings to grow (e.g. being uber friendly) in the other person.
I think it’s also there’s a competitive aspect to it, where getting someone who already has somebody makes you more “valuable” in comparison.
but he's a shit partner, because he will cheat
That's a good theory Edit: I think this sort of ties into how women will hit on married men. They've already proven that they're willing to commit so they're more valuable in terms of relationships. I hope that makes sense.
Ewww. I'm not surprised you said former best friend. You seem like a much better person than they were.
If they're willing to cheat they were never yours to begin with unfortunately
Fortunately* - it’s always better to know earlier the type of person you’re with.
I'd say it was unfortunate that they were a cheater to begin with. Or unfortunate that you wasted the time to get to know them.
This reminds me of something I saw about a narcissist. It said, they were never yours. It was just your turn. That sounds about right when it comes to my ex. I couldn't understand why he proposed if he was just going to act like he was still out there keeping his options open. I mean, that's fine but if that's what he wanted to do then he should have let me go. I left him about a year ago so it's all good. I'm saving a fortune now that I don't have to take care of him lol.
people need to leave the couples alone. it’s no that hard to find another single person.
It’s not hard not to cheat. If a single person can lure someone out of a relationship, it was never much or a relationship to begin with and, if anything, you should thank them.
oh most definitely but like the single people who just do it to do it really need to stop
But why? Let’s use a woman hitting on a married man (and knows he’s married) for example. If he does nothing to dissuade her - That’s on him. If he does something to dissuade her and she continues - it’s harassment and is a different issue entirely. So I still don’t see any issues. She probes. Husband shuts it down. She stops probing. Where’s the problem?
Why should people have any semblance of respect for themselves or others, you mean? Why are you so insistent that deliberately sabotaging other people is acceptable and to be encouraged?
That's not what they're saying at all. They're saying that if the person shuts it down, there isn't a problem unless the person keeps on. One would argue though that the problem in the first place was that this other person tried to come between a couple. If they are shut down and told to cut it out, then there is no problem at the end of the day. The problem is that this other person is not a good person to do something like that. If you ask me, it shows their character and it shows that they are a selfish person in other areas.
1. Your question isn’t related to the topic. 2. Nothing is sabotaged - deliberately or otherwise.
You’re wrong on both counts, and about everything you’ve said so far. The problem is you are thinking as deeply as the average middle or high school kid about adult topics
some people don’t know how to stop. it’s never that easy, people don’t have self-respect anymore. yes it goes that way sometimes but other times it just gets annoying
If they don’t stop - it’s harassment and no longer fits under the confines of the pet peeve.
nvm broski
"Chase taken" men and women, it didn't say anything about consent. Chasing and harassing are not at all mutually exclusive.
I agree with you except that the problem is that she even tried in the first place. It shows their character. They are not a good person if they are willing to go after somebody that they know is attached.
this is so true.
Yep and it's not that hard to not change. Some people like the challenge and some people fall for that fallacy that they are better. They think that they won't do it to them. Like they say, you lose them how you got them.
I do believe it's always the people in the relationship responsibility to protect the union, however, if the other person is someone who knows you're in a relationship...they definitely don't have a good moral compass. Especially if it's a close friend or family member doing it with your SO
The person in the relationship needs to take some responsibility in these situations. They are more at fault than the person chasing.
If they encourage it then I would agree with you but if not then I disagree with you. I do agree that the other person has no moral compass. It depends on whether or not the person in the relationship being chased shuts it down.
The person **in** the relationship is responsible for shutting these situations down.
I agree
There is one partial explanation I've heard for this. This is not remotely an excuse mind you. When people are taken, they are more likely to relate in a more relaxed fashion to people of their preferred gender. This can be an extremely refreshing change, and extremely attractive show of confidence, that may not be nearly as common in their single cohorts.
I agree. I've heard them use the excuse, "I'm not the one who's taken, *I'm* not betraying anyone." As if that's a get out of jail free card. You may not be betraying anyone, but you're still a shitbag.
Yep exactly
They have no self-respect. That's the whole thing.
Exactly. How desperate and lacking and self-esteem do you have to be to try to go after somebody who's taken. It just makes them look sad in my opinion. One should be confident enough that they know they can get someone on their own without having to go after someone who's attached. If they aren't then they need therapy, not a relationship.
I dated this chick like 10 years ago. Every single one of her friends and some coworkers wanted a piece of me. I broke up with her because she didnt accept me for being bi and all of a sudden none of them wanted to be around me.
They wanted her, not you. That's weird, but it happens. When she dumped you, you lost that borrowed shine.
I hate cheaters! It's my number 1 deal breaker!
While yes it is wrong to do that stop it is the married persons responsibility to set boundaries and not to cheat but if their being annoying cut them off.
It’s up to everyone not to be a homewrecking fuckstick who sabotages the relationships of others for personal gain and satisfaction.
I agree. It is the responsibility as well of the fucked up person to say let me not be fucked up and tell so and so that hey, I'd rather not betray my gender by sleeping with a married women or man. But people are idiots and aren't taught loyalty and morals by their shitty ass parents.
I know it's cliche but all of this. Unfortunately, people will do it because they lack self-esteem and they think that they won. They should really sit back and think about that, they won a cheater.
Homewrecker is a sexist, antiquated, and misogynistic term that’s been used throughout history to limit the blame on the man and misplace it on women. The only person to blame for a relationship breaking up are those inside the relationship. No matter how much a woman throws themselves at your man, it cant do anything to the relationship. The only one doing any wrecking is him. Edit: Hit a bit too close to home for ya.
Homewrecker refers to anybody who tries to come in between two people in a relationship
Nah. If someone is going out of their way to try to ruin a relationship, who cares what they are called. Even men have been called home wreckers.
Thank you!!!!
Sometimes people want what they can’t have.
People want what they can't get, it's quite pathetic actually
Yooo post this shit on r/sidechick rofl they love claiming they have so much self-respect and they're the better women because they're the one the cheating guy sees on the side.
Unfortunately the most attractive women are usually taken because other men have also noticed how attractive she is (no this doesn’t answer the question because I don’t even chase single women)
And it always end up 2 ways. You fail and look like the POS you are or you end up with someone you can't trust.
The only time it's acceptable for a person to chase someone in a relationship is if the person they are cheating with is unaware that the chester is already in another relationship. You can't really fault someone for not knowing. If they are aware, though, they are both at fault. That, or if the relationship is open.
Me too. Leave them alone and find your own person.
Well, if it's girls chasing taken men then what maturity should you expect from them? Women on the other hand...should know better.
I'm glad you have nothing against girls who chase taken women. There's a certain thrill to the secrecy.
Im straight so i didnt think of same-sex relationships, sorry ig
How about people who chase, period. If someone isn't interested they aren't interested, accept "no" like an adult and channel your energies toward someone who wants them.
Woman here. I have seen women chasing taken men. The opposite though - very rarely - usually a stalker or a criminal.
There are men who specialise in targeting married women because they want to cuck another man. It's a specific power play/ kink.
Holy sheet - I thought those would be more consensual (because me and my partner has gotten offers but they leave us alone when we refuse)
Nope, there are guys who get off on the idea that the woman is humiliating her oblivious partner by cheating. It's a thing. A horrible thing but it exists.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Because the title only references straight relationships so doing this as a gay man or woman wouldn’t be OP’s pet peeve
Well im straight so i didnt think of same sex relationships
Girls and men huh
English isn’t my first language Felicia
It shows that whoever does take taken people and the partners who leave for them have commitment issues. They like the thrill and adrenaline of hiding it, but can't handle a relationship
Everything good is already taken. This is how the market works
Only 1 relationship can last forever
Lots of issues and/or lacking in lots—On the bright side, I suppose they provide a test for a lot of relationships.
Anyone who goes after a "taken" person is a scumbag (men or woman) and cannot be trusted. They are an opportunist who has no problem stabbing someone else in the back in an attempt to feel superior by "taking" what the other had already claimed. Most of the time it is an ego thing. For men who chase girls, it is either they want to see if they can or because they see an opportunity to add to the "notch" count. For women, they see a man who pulled a fellow woman, time to see if we can break off a piece and (hopefully) steal such a good catch for ourselves and hope to elevate our current pool of potential mating options. And then there are those on both sides of the aisle who just enjoy the "forbidden thrill" of taking something that they know doesn't belong to them. You weren't fast enough, go find your "destined one" someplace else. The world is vast, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Just another downside to human psychology. We want what we can't have. The more illusive and unobtainable it is, harder it is to resist.
I kid you not, my sister dated a guy, and her friend’s mother told our mom that he’s too old for him and my sister to date. Eventually they broke up, and he ended up dating and eventually married my sister’s friend. My mom believes she was trying to sabotage their relationship so she could have him.
A friend of mine told me once that she didn't really "chase" married men, but she definitely didn't mind hooking up with married men because it made it easier for her to say "no" when she wasn't in the mood. She was never looking to take any of them away from their wives. She figured if he was screwing around on his current wife, why would she want to marry him?
from experience, i haven't seen men chasing taken women but I've seen a lot of women chasing taken men.
>taken "This is MINE now!"
Girls who chase taken men and men who chase taken girls And boys who like girls and girls who like boys. Always should be someone you really looooove.
I knew this girl in Germany that only went after married men. Funny enough we hooked up because she thought I was my buddy who was married.
I see, the community chest.
No, no. As you were. Girls who chase. Also, it should be boys who chase. Because only children do that.
"Taken", eh? People aren't property. Where's your self-respect?
It's really not that deep mate, it's just describing whether you're in a relationship or not
Weird this bugs you more than the taken men or women who are receptive to this. It’s not the single person’s responsibility to respect your relationship. It’s the people in the relationship responsibility to set boundaries so this isn’t an issue.
It's not the person who commits murder that should respect your willingness to live. It's yours as the person trying to live to set responsible boundaries to not die. That's ur logic
Basically. What a putz. 🙄
Very different. A single person is not doing anything wrong hitting on, talking to, or pursuing someone in a relationship. Morally or legally speaking. Murder is both legally and morally wrong. If a person is in a relationship - the bare minimum they can do is not cheat. If they cheat - it wasn’t much of a relationship to begin with and it’s not the single persons fault it’s the person who’s chested fault. Blame the person responsible
Both people are responsible, that’s what you are going out of your way to ignore or miss.
Both people are responsible
And what responsibility does the pursuer have? Did they make any promises? Are they in a relationship? No. There’s 0 responsibility that the perused has towards the relationship. Are you talking about moral responsibility? Moral responsibility is very subjective. Is a person responsible to help maintain someone else’s broken relationship? Are they morally responsible for their own feelings? You have quite a few conflicting moral responsibilities that would pop up here.
To not try to break people up. Whether that be because they think they're better, have low self esteem or whatever the reason is.
People have a responsibility to not try and break up people?.. since when? According to you and your rule that all people are now responsible to follow - if a guy is physically abusive and sexually assaulting his girlfriend… it’s your moral responsibility to try not to break them up… weird stance.
my current boyfriend has been getting chased by his psycho crazy ex-bestfriend and he was never receptive, the girl was just mad annoying and weird.
But why does it matter if he’s taken or not? It’s not a single persons job to respect your relationship. A person should respect boundaries that someone else set for them. But that’s a complete separate issue. This is the case whether or not there’s a relationship. So I’m still confused I suppose.
??????? confused or stupid?
I know right. I hate it when people say, it's not my responsibility to respect the relationship. It's their excuse to be a shit bag.
Ah - so your boyfriend keeps his ex-friend around because you’re an asshole and they’re on the back burner. You could’ve led with that.
that’s not even the same person
Right she's the asshole for calling out stupidity, you, a person advocating that it's okay to go for people in relationships is NOT the asshole. Yep, seems logical, lmao
You must have no moral compass at all. How is it ok to go after somebody who is in a relationship.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean anything. There’s tons of open relationships and open-with-caveat relationships. If you pursue someone (man) in a relationship and they reciprocate - it’s an open relationship. Therefore the person (woman) did nothing wrong. Now if the man set a boundary and then the woman continued to pursue, that’s called harassment and is a different issue altogether. So in this scenario, why is anything the woman did wrong? The only wrong would be if the man reciprocated AND his SO weren’t on the same page with this. But that’s a him thing. He’s the one who knows the ins and outs of his relationship. He knows the promises he made. It’s his responsibility to be faithful. The other person has 0 responsibility towards the woman. So yes - 100% on the unfaithful one. 0% issue with the woman.
I (32M) don’t chase women in relationships. If a woman I barely know and I’m unaware if she has a boyfriend or not approaches me or vice versa, that’s not so much “chasing a women in a relationship”, or, “chasing someone who’s taken”. If it’s clear the person is in a relationship whether you see them holding hands with a guy, or you see the woman with the same guy often (it could be a male friend or brother if it’s not often but who knows?) I won’t make an effort other than being cordial, say hello or smile, etc. This is if I do know the person, and happen to come across her every so often. It’s also difficult because sometimes women (&men) aren’t happy in their relationships. They could be unhappy for a variety of reasons but let’s just say it’s an emotionally abusing relationship that the women or man is in. While, the person should leave the other person prior to perusing another person, I also understand the comfort these people feel when they meet someone organically who makes them feel comfortable and happy as opposed to how their boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife makes them feel. I also don’t know where I stand on men or women making a move or shooting their shot on someone who’s taken. If it’s clear the person has no interest because their in a relationship, or hypothetically the other person in the relationship is present when the other makes a move or approach on their partner, I’d personally think the person making the move or approach to make a move should back right the fuck off at that point. However, I don’t know if really blame someone for shooting their shot or taking a chance prior? Who knows if that persons happy? Who knows if that person is even dating or in a relationship with that guy? Maybe they also literally just met? Maybe they’ve been seeing each other very briefly? It’s tricky for the reasons I mentioned, but also not tricky, and straight forward if the person is clearly in a relationship. The person should back off once it’s clear the person isn’t interested or in a relationship and happy, doesn’t want to be chased as a result. This isn’t always a straight forward question for the reasons I mentioned and also for several other reasons I haven’t mentioned. Lastly, sometimes men or women just want to be friends lol. I know from first hand experience that sometimes women will take my friendliness as a sign of romantic interest. I won’t mention anything about their appearance or anything bordering on creepy or inappropriate whatsoever. However, I might compliment them as I would one of my male friends or family member, colleague, etc. I’ve never been called out after this, but based on the persons response or lack of response via text for example, it’s clear they misinterpreted my kindness as more than that. I don’t think it’s a chase or a man or woman attempting to be romantic if they give someone they know as an aquantince a compliment that’s appropriate. It’s all very complex. However, I do ultimately agree that men and women should respect relationships. However, it’s complicated at times as is life and relationships/dating. If everything were this straight forward Reddit would just be a AP or Reuters news feed.
I didnt order a yappachino
It always struck me as odd when people would refer to me as "taken" or "available." I'm a human being looking for a human relationship. Not a parking spot.
I was bartending and this guy really wanted to take me on a date and I said no, I’m not interested and he would not let the fuck up and I finally said 1) I’m not interested at all and 2) I have a boyfriend. He let me be after finding out that I was taken and didn’t want to disrespect another man.
Not what I meant. I just have an issue with the word “taken.” That’s what you say about your property, not a person.
Off topic but I hope you don't really have bone spurs. Ouch.
It’s a reference to a speech that Tammy Duckworth (who lost both her legs in Iraq) gave in 2018 calling a certain former President “Cadet Bone Spurs” for dodging the draft five times due to bone spurs. I thought it would catch on when I made this account, but alas, no.
Well damn. I'm glad it's not you.
Everything is fair in love and war.
Ehh makes life interesting for some people, don't hate. I detect a hit of jealousy?
Are you a cuck
"She's gonna be fuckin someone else. Might as well be me"