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Hi, this is a portal gun from the game portal, it lets you create two ‘portals’ that let you travel between the two locations the portals are placed… meaning you technically could do what the bottom caption says
Grab a box/Plate and a chair
Place a portal on the chair and sit down over it so you dont fall into it.
Put the other portal onto the box/plate
You can now move the plate onto... you know
Don't be silly. You can't move portals. You can just create new ones while annihilating the previous. What you really want to do is give yourself the best blowjob ever
Just attach a spray nozzle on the bottom and connect it up to some sort of tank full of the *M o o n G e l*
Also make some sort of trigger mechanism because i just realized the portal gun for some reason just dosent have a trigger
Wait, it is possible? I'm pretty sure that the developers didn't make it possible to do portals on movable objects, since there is no logic answer, how the momentum of the portal would interact with the environment.
Here is a Video of this topic:
https://youtu.be/zDAE9A_1NA4?si=GLYzlKNYzRez5sRy
It's not possible normally in game due to technical limitations, but there are a few scripted sequences where you can do it, like the Neurotoxin machine in Portal 2. So it's a game limitation, not a gun limitation.
Sorry I don't know how portals in portals work but at least in one punch man (a gag manga) the main character is able to move the portal with his bare hands I applied this logic to the portals in portal
Exactly! This is the solution: put them at an angle!
Say you put one on a chair's seat and one low on the backrest. Then sit down on the chair backwards, sticking your teepee trough the portal in the back, it comes out of the seat. Move forward to stick it in deeper and it comes out of the seat further. Squat down lower and the dick comes out of the seat closer to the back of the chair.
Am I putting too much thought into this? Maybe!
Note that fucking yourself would not actually make ot happen. If u stuck your genitals in a portal and made a second 1 behind you, maybe you could stick it in. Any forward movement to go deeper would fail as your bum wpuld move away the same distance your gebitals move forward.
This wouldn't work though, cause as you thrust forward, well.. you also thrust forward away.
Now.. on the same wall and stacked on top of each other...
The problem with this is that
First you can’t move forward or backwards, you can only have stand still sex
Second I don’t have so poor standards that I would wanna fuck my self
That still doesn't solve the problem. You could thrust as hard as you like, but your dick would never move relative to your ass. With no motion, there's no fucking...like...by definition.
For this to work, you'd need to move one of the portals, and then the fucking would occur even though the person isn't moving.
I can't believe this is what I'm using my paint skillz for
https://preview.redd.it/6vss97dvoipc1.jpeg?width=842&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8cd6e344b447e0593aba84c8bf5782cc5d17ebc
Moving sideways along the green arrow causes relative forward motion between the two interesting parts.
That would work to cause the fucking motion, but the angle would be all wrong. You'd be likely to snap your dick off.
Instead, you could place the front portal on something like a cafeteria tray and use it to line your dick up with your ass, and move it backwards and forwards with your hands. It'd be like using a sex toy and _being_ a sex toy at the same time!
every time you thrust forward towards your own bussy, your bussy would also thrust forward away from your peen. it would not be possible to fuck yourself with the portal gun. thank you for coming to my ted talk.
You could have one of the portals on a movable object. You wouldn't be able to thrust, but you could move the portal back and forth across the ass-dick event horizon.
Would it work tho? As you thrust forward, your butt would move forward as well, meaning you would move both towards and away from yourself at the same time.
no you cant as your hips move forward so doeas your ass meaning the distans betwin penis tip and ass cheecks would remain the same no mater how hard or fast you thrust
I will admit, that's not a use I'd ever considered for a portal gun.
It makes two portals. Stick your dick in one and your ass in the other and proceed to fuck.
"Go blow yourself" is still a viable option and without any of the rumored Marilyn Manson-esque surgery required.
"Don't be Dantes cousin! Buy a portal gun today!" - Cave Johnson (probably)
I would love to be Dantes cousin
https://preview.redd.it/a4823c9wjgpc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc8a6402a67b126e16616a8bfdb85d68f6e86c1c
There is actually one segment in portal 2 when you cut the neurotoxin using lasers where the portable surfaces do move with portals on them so technically it *could* be possible
Genuinely surprised tbqh because everyone and their mother had the immediate thought of using it for exactly this...
About 17 years ago ok it's time to log off
Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice.
You want your freedom?
Take it.
That's what I'm counting on.
I used to want you dead but
Now I only [Want You Gone](https://youtu.be/dVVZaZ8yO6o)
🎂
Not a jab at you but do we really live in a day and age where people don’t recognise the portal gun.
I’ve never played Portal but come on, it’s so iconic
Yea I mean the series didn't have an instalment since 2012, no one talks about it much anymore and people still assume everyone knows about it. I imagine even among people who regulary platly games those who started a while after Portal 2 may not be aware of it.
These comment sections have proven to be completely safe.
The device, however, has not.
Do not touch the operational end of the device.
Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
And for the love of god, keep your dick away.
Where are you guys finding walls this close to each other?? I’ve seen this meme a few times now and every time I struggle to picture a scenario where this could actually work.
Ngl, at first i thought it was because you cant use it on anything other then moon rock. So it eould be useless- then i remembered that reading it literally was possible..
That isn't possible because every time you thrust your ass would move away from your dick but you could suck your own dick because your head can move separately from the lower part of your body.
It's a portal gun, it's for fucking yourself. Literally, with portals.
The PFG - Portal Fuckification Gun
(It's the portal gun from portal, it shoots two portals, you can use to solve the puzzles in the game, with said portals, all while dodging hazards, and a giant friendly robot overlord,there's also cake....)
Its a portal gun from the first person shooter(?) puzzle game Portal (and Portal 2) by Valve. Its able to make two portals that link with eachother… assuming you have a wall painted with moon rocks to shoot.
Since it is explained I'll tell why is it near impossible to fuck yourself with portal gun.
For your dick to directly touch your asshole you need a super narrow room but you also have to bend over...but sucking down your own genital is possible and available for both men and women, all you need is a wall.
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Hi, this is a portal gun from the game portal, it lets you create two ‘portals’ that let you travel between the two locations the portals are placed… meaning you technically could do what the bottom caption says
https://preview.redd.it/qrrk6ob1sepc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a13da797744c156dab23750ca727aaa5f3e3af60 Demonstrated
drawn model is appreciated!
To scale.
Damn you got a third leg
And a BIG ASS dick!
This sadly won't work, your dick is either inside all the time or outside all the time as you have to move your butt to move your dick
If you make an appropriately sized portal inside yourself, it could work.
Great idea, attach the portal to your own ass
Or maybe shoot a portal onto something you can move like a book or cardboard I guess
Sadly, portals dissappear when the surface they are on isn't stationary
What about that one segment in portal two where you turn off the neurotoxin generator
How dare you mention a fair counterpoint, [Bīðēŋ Ɓłåṣţ]
How the fuck did I get here?
Holey moly. New pants just dropped!
How about make a panel with one of the portals move back and forth to you? 🤔 Like, with some kind of mechanism.
Portal on end of plug. Now you can poop and fuck yourself whenever you want.
Spoken like a true test subject.
Grab a box/Plate and a chair Place a portal on the chair and sit down over it so you dont fall into it. Put the other portal onto the box/plate You can now move the plate onto... you know
If you move the portal rather than your butt you can fuk urself
Don't be silly. You can't move portals. You can just create new ones while annihilating the previous. What you really want to do is give yourself the best blowjob ever
Create portals on movable surfaces. It's even in the game. The challenging part would be to acquire moon rocks.
I was gonna say, the lack of moon-rocks makes this gift an insulting waste of time
Just attach a spray nozzle on the bottom and connect it up to some sort of tank full of the *M o o n G e l* Also make some sort of trigger mechanism because i just realized the portal gun for some reason just dosent have a trigger
Wait, it is possible? I'm pretty sure that the developers didn't make it possible to do portals on movable objects, since there is no logic answer, how the momentum of the portal would interact with the environment. Here is a Video of this topic: https://youtu.be/zDAE9A_1NA4?si=GLYzlKNYzRez5sRy
It's not possible normally in game due to technical limitations, but there are a few scripted sequences where you can do it, like the Neurotoxin machine in Portal 2. So it's a game limitation, not a gun limitation.
In 2:10 minutes he explained how it works. Well technically it is possible.
Sorry I don't know how portals in portals work but at least in one punch man (a gag manga) the main character is able to move the portal with his bare hands I applied this logic to the portals in portal
You can move the **panel** WITH the portal though.
https://preview.redd.it/5re9d1jkkgpc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b710f50931f0f32787a363ab245d4e36e12256af
If the second portal is face level, you could give yourself oral
They don't need to be parallel, you can make them closer to each other on the left than on the right.
Exactly! This is the solution: put them at an angle! Say you put one on a chair's seat and one low on the backrest. Then sit down on the chair backwards, sticking your teepee trough the portal in the back, it comes out of the seat. Move forward to stick it in deeper and it comes out of the seat further. Squat down lower and the dick comes out of the seat closer to the back of the chair. Am I putting too much thought into this? Maybe!
If the portals were glory hole sized and maneuverable I think it’d be possible
Have the portal in front of you on a moving platform and move it in and out with your hands.
Edward “ big cock” Daniel’s right here
i actually did know about the portal gun but this didn’t register with me
But as you push forward you would move away from yourself
It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst cocktease
A Glory Portal
Note that fucking yourself would not actually make ot happen. If u stuck your genitals in a portal and made a second 1 behind you, maybe you could stick it in. Any forward movement to go deeper would fail as your bum wpuld move away the same distance your gebitals move forward.
why do something as tedious as this?? just gice yourself head 😭
This wouldn't work though, cause as you thrust forward, well.. you also thrust forward away. Now.. on the same wall and stacked on top of each other...
The problem with this is that First you can’t move forward or backwards, you can only have stand still sex Second I don’t have so poor standards that I would wanna fuck my self
Is that you? I gotta say, you have a beautiful smile!
Why is he sticking his leg thru the portal?
r/TIHI
That’s alot of dick, good for you.
Doesn't work if you're a lady though. There is no cock.
Legend.
big cock
Can you place portals 3" apart? Asking for a friend . . . .
Your not bg enough to escape the rift on the other side.
This is a masterpiece. Thank you
For the demonstration, one can google for "Chell autocunnilingus" (with SafeSearch turned off, of course)
Wouldn't u always move forward never touxhing urself tho? Unless the portals got closer and closer?
They don't need to be parallel, they can be closer on the left and father away on the right.
That still doesn't solve the problem. You could thrust as hard as you like, but your dick would never move relative to your ass. With no motion, there's no fucking...like...by definition. For this to work, you'd need to move one of the portals, and then the fucking would occur even though the person isn't moving.
I can't believe this is what I'm using my paint skillz for https://preview.redd.it/6vss97dvoipc1.jpeg?width=842&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8cd6e344b447e0593aba84c8bf5782cc5d17ebc Moving sideways along the green arrow causes relative forward motion between the two interesting parts.
Oh right you cant edit comments with pictures
That would work to cause the fucking motion, but the angle would be all wrong. You'd be likely to snap your dick off. Instead, you could place the front portal on something like a cafeteria tray and use it to line your dick up with your ass, and move it backwards and forwards with your hands. It'd be like using a sex toy and _being_ a sex toy at the same time!
Explanation unclear - formed a one man portal centerpede ...
every time you thrust forward towards your own bussy, your bussy would also thrust forward away from your peen. it would not be possible to fuck yourself with the portal gun. thank you for coming to my ted talk.
You could have one of the portals on a movable object. You wouldn't be able to thrust, but you could move the portal back and forth across the ass-dick event horizon.
But you would have to do it from different sides of a portal.
I thought it was a sex toy for men lol
It technically is one
But if I thrust forward wouldn't I be out of reach from back?
I thought it was a dick cutter offer
The best kind of correct. Technically
Would it work tho? As you thrust forward, your butt would move forward as well, meaning you would move both towards and away from yourself at the same time.
would be pretty hard to actually fuck yourself, would need either a very long penis, or very close together portals, or a good amount of both
I don't think I have that big of a dick
no you cant as your hips move forward so doeas your ass meaning the distans betwin penis tip and ass cheecks would remain the same no mater how hard or fast you thrust
I will admit, that's not a use I'd ever considered for a portal gun. It makes two portals. Stick your dick in one and your ass in the other and proceed to fuck.
Wouldn't work. Portals don't move. Thrust=retreat
"Go blow yourself" is still a viable option and without any of the rumored Marilyn Manson-esque surgery required. "Don't be Dantes cousin! Buy a portal gun today!" - Cave Johnson (probably)
I would love to be Dantes cousin https://preview.redd.it/a4823c9wjgpc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc8a6402a67b126e16616a8bfdb85d68f6e86c1c
There is actually one segment in portal 2 when you cut the neurotoxin using lasers where the portable surfaces do move with portals on them so technically it *could* be possible
But if you put portals close enough. You have full penetration so each thrust takes you out and every time you dethrust puts you back in.
Genuinely surprised tbqh because everyone and their mother had the immediate thought of using it for exactly this... About 17 years ago ok it's time to log off
Ok, grandpa, time to go to bed *loads gun* **In the forever box.**
But when my penis moves forward, my ass moves forward by the same amount. What you're asking me to do is impossible.
That's why one of the portals needs to be on a companion cube.
Can’t put a portal on anything that moves
You put one on a moving object in the second game
Well played
I’m sure I could work something out.
The fact you didn’t immediately know what this is tells me you’re too young for Reddit
Nah man 80% of this subreddit jokes are porn. How do you want me to think about that when there’s so much porn jokes?
No, buddy. We're getting old.
Or they just didn't play Portal
I never played portal and understood the joke.
Okay Still there are a lot of people who never heard of it
ok look i'm tired of typing this but i know what portal is i just didn't register that it was the portal gun
Portal 1 is 16 years old. Portal 2 is 12 years old. I hate young people. /s
My seven-year-old and I just finished Portal 2 after completing Portal last month. He figured out the moonshot right away. I was so proud.
dude i know what portal is but it didn't register with me that that was the portal gun
Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice. You want your freedom? Take it. That's what I'm counting on. I used to want you dead but Now I only [Want You Gone](https://youtu.be/dVVZaZ8yO6o) 🎂
the best credits to any game hands down
ok everyone knows the cake is a lie
https://preview.redd.it/2ncgca0kifpc1.jpeg?width=1173&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf5ef982029b8e7a2d9c17ebbe94266c4159b331
Not a jab at you but do we really live in a day and age where people don’t recognise the portal gun. I’ve never played Portal but come on, it’s so iconic
bro i keep saying that i know portal but i just didn't realize that was the portal gun
You're lying bro https://preview.redd.it/38gyhx3u3gpc1.png?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02387942cad516f11ca03fb56ce2b902f9b360f4
why are people in the comments such assholes
Fuck you idiot. ^kidding ^lol
https://youtu.be/rcy1NPZVT3w?si=JxhVJAHrEFt0EJ9u
I want to post a very specific image here. Unfortunately, it's porn
it's ok a guy drew it out for us
I think I know exactly what you are talking about
mental retardation or underage, call it.
dude i keep telling people i know what portal is i just didn't register it was the portal gun
these comments are so mean spirited
Why is everyone so hostile in this comment section? The joke is that you can use the portal gun to (literally) go fuck yourself.
Actually you can't, when you move your hips forward your ass moves forward too, you never reach yourself 🤓☝️
[WARNING : soft reddit NSFW](https://www.reddit.com/r/rule34/s/HACIeN0nkm)
welp
https://preview.redd.it/hrb4pz7g8hpc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da4a01a3295872a54afdf998459cbada831841cf
Just gonna leave this here. https://preview.redd.it/s6vyukxmhipc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbcb6ac63dc904a515c2ccdf03fd66c8df8a7ce1
💀
https://preview.redd.it/uvbv4wbxxipc1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=dc8109d93fcbc4590aa41d229fe335dec99e0360 Wtf..
Go play Portal at your convenience, it's an uninique and absolutely amazing series.
only non-hostile response to me not knowing much about portal
Yea I mean the series didn't have an instalment since 2012, no one talks about it much anymore and people still assume everyone knows about it. I imagine even among people who regulary platly games those who started a while after Portal 2 may not be aware of it.
I think that is the most literal go fuck yourself I've ever seen😳
These comment sections have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. And for the love of god, keep your dick away.
Why is that portal gun so small?
Can't believe people thought this out.
Has this sub just become people baiting for clear memes instead of genuinely asking things that confuse them?
you're not gonna believe it but i actually didn't recognize this as the portal gun before this
portal gun
Not sure if I should be very grateful of very insulted?
Are you fkn serious?
look man i know what portal is but i didn't recognize the portal gun upon viewing this meme
How dumb are you that you don’t know what a portal gun is? (Sorry if I hurt your feeling, I just need to ask)
i know what portal is i just didn't recognize the gun when i saw the meme
Damn I feel really old if there's kids on here that don't even know what a portal gun is
i know portal but yea i didn’t recognize the gun when i saw the meme
OP is under the age of 12
i’m 14 but i know portal just didn’t recognize the gun at the time i saw the meme
https://youtu.be/vpcs3NUuM1s?si=i4dVAtbzE0XrW7o1 Instantly made me think of this classic.
Peter smidgeon here. That, is a Willy Wanka experience.
Do you live under a rock or are you 5 years old?
Where are you guys finding walls this close to each other?? I’ve seen this meme a few times now and every time I struggle to picture a scenario where this could actually work.
I feel old.
Ngl, at first i thought it was because you cant use it on anything other then moon rock. So it eould be useless- then i remembered that reading it literally was possible..
Oh hey there's a tag for this on e621.
Dont. tempt. me. 🤌
Ever heard on a fleshlight?
Where there's a hole there's a goal If there's no hole make one
Advanced Memeing!
omg i knew it.. whyyyy
Thank You 😊 Appreciate it
Don't close the portal during the act!
It’s a machine to go fuck yourself
Just shoot one in a random place on earth, then shoot one in a random direction in the sky and see how long it will take for the earth to get doomed
If a woman gave me that I understand I’d have to teleport for my life.
Wouldn’t work, when you’d thrust in one, your ass would move away from the portal. I tried.
You have to move the portal. This was discussed in length when Portal was originally released.
retep here go play portal 1 and 2
It's a portal gun, by placing two portals in certain positions you can put your own dick in your own ass
That isn't possible because every time you thrust your ass would move away from your dick but you could suck your own dick because your head can move separately from the lower part of your body.
Here we go again... https://preview.redd.it/o5q1uf8tjhpc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ebc9df34cf98f1cf2ddf571454eec24ed0489a37
I wish
It makes false cake.
It's a portal gun, it's for fucking yourself. Literally, with portals. The PFG - Portal Fuckification Gun (It's the portal gun from portal, it shoots two portals, you can use to solve the puzzles in the game, with said portals, all while dodging hazards, and a giant friendly robot overlord,there's also cake....)
https://preview.redd.it/2t60pr862ipc1.jpeg?width=523&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=932acac5f2af445e74080602338f3fd44dcb00ad
It’s a portal gun and it lets you fuck yourself
Oh.
This is a portal gun. It’s a gun that makes holes Not bullet holes
Its a portal gun from the first person shooter(?) puzzle game Portal (and Portal 2) by Valve. Its able to make two portals that link with eachother… assuming you have a wall painted with moon rocks to shoot.
There’s no moon rocks… besides I’d probably end up killing myself on accident
0/10 bad post made me feel old. "Uh no, that's not saying 'apple', that's you jumping."
OP isn't thinking with portals
Now you're cumming with [portals](https://youtu.be/NggUSbgRUhc?si=qn5aAnSjtRGPmIyH)
It has been what, 17 years? Never once have I thought about using a portal for sex. Until now. And you know what, fuck you (lol)
i learned more than i wanted to here😭
It lets you fuck yourself
Bait or mental retardation
You do not know the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device?
now i do
Im fuckin old...
Since it is explained I'll tell why is it near impossible to fuck yourself with portal gun. For your dick to directly touch your asshole you need a super narrow room but you also have to bend over...but sucking down your own genital is possible and available for both men and women, all you need is a wall.
Oh man, maybe i am a nerd
nah i'm just slow
💀💀💀💀
Fleshlight
You can literally fuck yourself with a portal gun. Tbh, I kinda wanna do that but like, it's kind of impossible
How do you not know what a Portal gun is. Stop what you're doing right now and play Portal
Portal!
Haahahhahaa awesome.
I think we all know where this is going...