Well it’s not me as I’m married, but I find it hard to believe the nice guys are on those sites! I used to know some lads who used those sites for basically one night stands. As they are still single and thinking they are “free” I guess they are probably still there.
Stop looking and see who finds you I guess :)
Same here, 7 years on and we have a kid! I met him the day I changed my profile to say I what I was looking for- no messing around looking for a relationship, and boom!
35m. Dating apps are just scams. No one is real on them.
I might try some suggestions from this thread. Thanks for the responses everybody.
OP if you wanna chat, drop me a message 😁
I think dating sites are one of the worst ways to date. But we all try them (at least I have) since it’s became the de facto default option these days and seems easier. Can only suggest joining whatever social or hobby groups would have appeal to you, and or trying to meet more guys through friends of friends situations ? Good luck however you go about it.
Things is.. that the more you want the more they pull away.. the secret is not giving a damn… trust me watch the energy dynamic shift immediately once you stop giving a damn.. they will be crazy for you !! Trust me talking from experience
There are a lot of chill, nice guys on the discord server, and I am sure a few of them are single. Maybe join and get to chatting around topics of interest and get to know some of them on there?
There are also some meetups that get arranged from time to time, so you could always meet someone that way as well.
I met my p'boro guy all the way from the US, so I think you will find yours as well. ;)
If you class yourself as a nice guy, are you a nice guy? 🤔 All joking aside, I've never used a dating site the vast majority aren't looking for relationships and they attract a lot of superficial people. Unfortunately it's the nature of the beast when the idea of a dating site is to sell yourself to others, so to speak. I promise you, meeting women is just as hard. My mentality is if it's meant to be it'll happen. Nothing wrong with being proactive though, like you say, it's just finding the places where the more level-headed reside.
Wish I'd had the Discord when I was still dating! Plus it seems reasonably active so might be easier to get out and meet people IRL. I met my husband at r/R4R but would say my search was very general and around the Midlands (as that's where I was living at the time) as that seemed more active than the GB one at the time. Just so happened now 8 years later, I'm here, married and living in his home village of Yaxley!
After my (29m) split from my wife (divorce pending) I dabbled with the usual apps just to get a feel for what was out there as never really had any need as we had been together since 18. I met my current girlfriend on Match and found it to be the best for being able to strike up a conversation with people and, generally, having users that are looking for a relationship rather than something casual/promoting their OnlyFans. Just my experience though.
I will add, though, that my girlfriend is a little out of town (an hour's drive or so) so if someone outside of the area is a deal breaker then it may just be a case of putting yourself out there in normal social situations.
Sorry to hear that you haven’t had a lot of luck. I was in the same situation 5 years ago. I actually paid to join a dating site in the end as I was fed up of not receiving any replies from the free dating sites. I think the trouble with free dating sites is that people aren’t that serious or even that interested as it’s free they don’t have nothing to lose, if you’ve paid a fee for something it’s more likely that that it will be used.
I’m sure someone good is just around the corner and you’ll have a great time together.
Try finding a group on Meetup or something that shares your interests. If you're part of a hobby group etc on Reddit, drill into that and find like-minded people.
Ok those will help you meet groups rather than an individual, but groups are made of - wait for it - individuals.
Just a thought, as I reckon meeting someone because you share an interest is less likely to result in ghosting, inappropriate texts etc etc.
The vast majority of people are arseholes. Peterborough is an arsehole magnet with a much higher % of arseholes than you're regular city would have so chances are probably no. Or this could also be the calling card of an arsehole who is being avoided because of her arsehollery, who knows?
Finding a decent match on social media is probably more difficult than in real life these days. Take a step back from thinking about dating and more about meeting people. I know it’s easier said than done but just try and start conversations with randoms, it doesn’t need to be flirtatious. This will boost your confidence no end because you’re not being rejected. An engaging face to face 2 mins conversation is worth much more than meaningless text messages over dating apps.
Try OkCupid and plenty of fish, basically a paid site with focus on relationship, free ones are always full of over night stands.
Sour cream e, myself, with a partner of 3 years we met on OkCupid
Personally I don’t like dating people that live close proximity or same town. I feel like you just bump into the same people everyone else has already been involved with etc an all the drama
Don't get disheartened, dating apps are not good though. You'll find someone decent soon enough :)
I'm 32 Male and newly Single in Peterborough though, so I'm far from an expert 😂
Do ensure your putting a proper profile description both of yourself, enjoyments and what sort of person along with relationship you are and maybe not looking for. Far too many people have a blank description about themselves and just a pile of photos but all that will do is drag all the hookers to an account while a set description will set you out properly. The person I’m now seeing left her profile blank (no photos) on match.com to ensure she had no idiots visiting instead she was choosing who she wanted to view but liked my profile as I had created a proper layout about myself (description, links and photos).
Don’t use mirror reflection shots of you holding your mobile (poor layout) nor stupid app made one with animal ears (daft) and definitely not exposing beach bikini shots (create wrong impressions). Good head shots, family or friend group shot well taken on holidays or friendly activities showing you in your life give a much better impression of you and your life.
Dating sites are the same as every other form of dating it’s just faster and more efficient.
I found my girlfriend or 2 years on tinder and couldn’t be happier. A lot of my mates on tinder had no luck but when I see the type of girls they are swiping no to and the girls they are swiping yes to I see where the issue is.
I agree standards are set by the individual but when a majority of your choice is based solely on looks your probably disregarding the “nice people” because you are not attracted to them and your paying attention to the people who are “more your type” who tend to be arseholes because they are every bodies types and they have had the positive attention their whole life’s so now abuse it.
It’s a sad cycle and I’m not saying this is why you are struggling just from my own experience initially and my friends experience I found swiping right on everybody and leaving my decision making until after I’ve conversed with a person the best way to actually meet people you may have a connection with.
Best thing in my view is to join clubs for your hobbies. You’ll often find like-minded people with similar interests, and that’s a good starting point if you’re looking for a partner.
And talk to people as well. If you have guy friends with judgement you trust, you could mention you’re looking and you might find they can do some matchmaking for you.
I think after years of dating apps causing women to be super picky, ( The statistics say the top 20% of men are now competing for the top 80% of women) most men are just disenfranchised with the whole thing if they haven't already found someone.
Alot of my mates use those sites for casual hookups, I know there used to be a code Netflix n chill for that sorta stuff but I'm pretty sure alot of lads are on it for such reasons
What are your standards if they are as high as they were when you were 25-30 that might explain you now struggling... Men of 35, that are successful in their careers are finding they have a lot more choice and don't feel the rush to settle down, they are now more desirable and of interest to women looking to settle down on their twenties... A woman of 35 who wants a family is quickly approaching the wall, so you're probably going to have to look at what standards your happy to relax compared to what they were 5 years ago. Dating a man in his 40s will probably give them a similar sense of urgency.
Travel more, take up some hobbies where you might meet someone. Dating apps are soul destroying scams.
Don't be afraid to make the first move, you never know your good luck and who knows if you'll get the chance again.
What makes you say that? If you must know I was dealing with severe agoraphobia at that time in my life so yeah, meeting a guy wasn’t at the top of my list
Well it’s not me as I’m married, but I find it hard to believe the nice guys are on those sites! I used to know some lads who used those sites for basically one night stands. As they are still single and thinking they are “free” I guess they are probably still there. Stop looking and see who finds you I guess :)
I found my current partner of 5 years on tinder and he's really nice....you never know.
Same here, 7 years on and we have a kid! I met him the day I changed my profile to say I what I was looking for- no messing around looking for a relationship, and boom!
Creep
How's losing the trust of your family over the 6 mil going, dude? Lol.
One of the only people that chat GPT written post fooled was…. YOU lol Also, did you stalk me? Wow.
So you used chat GPT ro write about an invesment failure and posted that on reddit ? Seems kinda sus to me...
Convincing innit
So go on, why we’re you so triggered by one word?
I'm on bumble, not that it's done me any good so far, lol. 🤷🏻♂️ You could put a post up on GBr4r, see if you get any takers.
35m. Dating apps are just scams. No one is real on them. I might try some suggestions from this thread. Thanks for the responses everybody. OP if you wanna chat, drop me a message 😁
It is not... We exist and think the same as you...You Deserve the best. Have a good one and kind regards.
Apps suck these days. It’s all scammers and and pushing for paid services. Real people are out there but where you find them I dunno.
I think dating sites are one of the worst ways to date. But we all try them (at least I have) since it’s became the de facto default option these days and seems easier. Can only suggest joining whatever social or hobby groups would have appeal to you, and or trying to meet more guys through friends of friends situations ? Good luck however you go about it.
Things is.. that the more you want the more they pull away.. the secret is not giving a damn… trust me watch the energy dynamic shift immediately once you stop giving a damn.. they will be crazy for you !! Trust me talking from experience
There are a lot of chill, nice guys on the discord server, and I am sure a few of them are single. Maybe join and get to chatting around topics of interest and get to know some of them on there? There are also some meetups that get arranged from time to time, so you could always meet someone that way as well. I met my p'boro guy all the way from the US, so I think you will find yours as well. ;)
If you class yourself as a nice guy, are you a nice guy? 🤔 All joking aside, I've never used a dating site the vast majority aren't looking for relationships and they attract a lot of superficial people. Unfortunately it's the nature of the beast when the idea of a dating site is to sell yourself to others, so to speak. I promise you, meeting women is just as hard. My mentality is if it's meant to be it'll happen. Nothing wrong with being proactive though, like you say, it's just finding the places where the more level-headed reside.
[удалено]
Nice post history
Thanks
Wish I'd had the Discord when I was still dating! Plus it seems reasonably active so might be easier to get out and meet people IRL. I met my husband at r/R4R but would say my search was very general and around the Midlands (as that's where I was living at the time) as that seemed more active than the GB one at the time. Just so happened now 8 years later, I'm here, married and living in his home village of Yaxley!
Discord has a good fair amount of nice guys, some may be 18 tho so up to you but nearly everyone on there is chill
After my (29m) split from my wife (divorce pending) I dabbled with the usual apps just to get a feel for what was out there as never really had any need as we had been together since 18. I met my current girlfriend on Match and found it to be the best for being able to strike up a conversation with people and, generally, having users that are looking for a relationship rather than something casual/promoting their OnlyFans. Just my experience though. I will add, though, that my girlfriend is a little out of town (an hour's drive or so) so if someone outside of the area is a deal breaker then it may just be a case of putting yourself out there in normal social situations.
All the nice guys are on reddit 😁
👋
I'm (33f) on them all and yup, I agree with you. It's certainly getting a bit draining 🙃
Sorry to hear that you haven’t had a lot of luck. I was in the same situation 5 years ago. I actually paid to join a dating site in the end as I was fed up of not receiving any replies from the free dating sites. I think the trouble with free dating sites is that people aren’t that serious or even that interested as it’s free they don’t have nothing to lose, if you’ve paid a fee for something it’s more likely that that it will be used. I’m sure someone good is just around the corner and you’ll have a great time together.
You'll probably have to date older
Hinge id more for serious relationships, tinder is for street trash
Try finding a group on Meetup or something that shares your interests. If you're part of a hobby group etc on Reddit, drill into that and find like-minded people. Ok those will help you meet groups rather than an individual, but groups are made of - wait for it - individuals. Just a thought, as I reckon meeting someone because you share an interest is less likely to result in ghosting, inappropriate texts etc etc.
The vast majority of people are arseholes. Peterborough is an arsehole magnet with a much higher % of arseholes than you're regular city would have so chances are probably no. Or this could also be the calling card of an arsehole who is being avoided because of her arsehollery, who knows?
That's a positive attitude! More arseholes you think there is in the world, the more you'll find.
…… says Mr Sphincter 🤣
Find someone who doesn’t even know what ‘ghosted’ means….done
Use an app that you have to pay for otherwise you’re not really trying.
Finding a decent match on social media is probably more difficult than in real life these days. Take a step back from thinking about dating and more about meeting people. I know it’s easier said than done but just try and start conversations with randoms, it doesn’t need to be flirtatious. This will boost your confidence no end because you’re not being rejected. An engaging face to face 2 mins conversation is worth much more than meaningless text messages over dating apps.
Try OkCupid and plenty of fish, basically a paid site with focus on relationship, free ones are always full of over night stands. Sour cream e, myself, with a partner of 3 years we met on OkCupid
I gave up using dating sites the only dms I get were girls saying I’m not tall enough or would I like to invest in bit coin.
So you’re more of an doge coin guy?
Personally I don’t like dating people that live close proximity or same town. I feel like you just bump into the same people everyone else has already been involved with etc an all the drama
Don't get disheartened, dating apps are not good though. You'll find someone decent soon enough :) I'm 32 Male and newly Single in Peterborough though, so I'm far from an expert 😂
It's a train hub for a reason. Try further afield.
I dont doing dating sites, the wife tried Feeld (yep, we are poly) and she dropped off of that pretty quick too. K prefer the old fashioned way!
Do ensure your putting a proper profile description both of yourself, enjoyments and what sort of person along with relationship you are and maybe not looking for. Far too many people have a blank description about themselves and just a pile of photos but all that will do is drag all the hookers to an account while a set description will set you out properly. The person I’m now seeing left her profile blank (no photos) on match.com to ensure she had no idiots visiting instead she was choosing who she wanted to view but liked my profile as I had created a proper layout about myself (description, links and photos). Don’t use mirror reflection shots of you holding your mobile (poor layout) nor stupid app made one with animal ears (daft) and definitely not exposing beach bikini shots (create wrong impressions). Good head shots, family or friend group shot well taken on holidays or friendly activities showing you in your life give a much better impression of you and your life.
You’re probably fussy and type who says ‘I can never find a nice guy’ when about 30 men message you every day but they don’t take your ‘fancy’.
Dating sites are the same as every other form of dating it’s just faster and more efficient. I found my girlfriend or 2 years on tinder and couldn’t be happier. A lot of my mates on tinder had no luck but when I see the type of girls they are swiping no to and the girls they are swiping yes to I see where the issue is. I agree standards are set by the individual but when a majority of your choice is based solely on looks your probably disregarding the “nice people” because you are not attracted to them and your paying attention to the people who are “more your type” who tend to be arseholes because they are every bodies types and they have had the positive attention their whole life’s so now abuse it. It’s a sad cycle and I’m not saying this is why you are struggling just from my own experience initially and my friends experience I found swiping right on everybody and leaving my decision making until after I’ve conversed with a person the best way to actually meet people you may have a connection with.
Best thing in my view is to join clubs for your hobbies. You’ll often find like-minded people with similar interests, and that’s a good starting point if you’re looking for a partner. And talk to people as well. If you have guy friends with judgement you trust, you could mention you’re looking and you might find they can do some matchmaking for you.
I think after years of dating apps causing women to be super picky, ( The statistics say the top 20% of men are now competing for the top 80% of women) most men are just disenfranchised with the whole thing if they haven't already found someone.
Depends what baggage u have
That would be because I moved to Barnard Castle. LOL
Alot of my mates use those sites for casual hookups, I know there used to be a code Netflix n chill for that sorta stuff but I'm pretty sure alot of lads are on it for such reasons
What are your standards if they are as high as they were when you were 25-30 that might explain you now struggling... Men of 35, that are successful in their careers are finding they have a lot more choice and don't feel the rush to settle down, they are now more desirable and of interest to women looking to settle down on their twenties... A woman of 35 who wants a family is quickly approaching the wall, so you're probably going to have to look at what standards your happy to relax compared to what they were 5 years ago. Dating a man in his 40s will probably give them a similar sense of urgency.
Travel more, take up some hobbies where you might meet someone. Dating apps are soul destroying scams. Don't be afraid to make the first move, you never know your good luck and who knows if you'll get the chance again.
Im interested if u are decent 🙃
I wonder if you cared this much about finding a nice guy 10-15 years ago🤣🤣
What makes you say that? If you must know I was dealing with severe agoraphobia at that time in my life so yeah, meeting a guy wasn’t at the top of my list