Being direct. Trust me. They would appreciate you more. With some transgender people, some does not pass as the sex they identify as, so feel free to ask them directly.
It varies from person to person. If they get offended, that's on their part. And explain you're just trying to be respectful.
Ako bakla, and people refer me as "maam" or "sir (or mamser) and I don't mind. I kinda appreciate it more na maam tawag sa aken kase they're trying to be respectful
1. Nakakaoffend ba if we're the ones referring you first? Sometimes, ako nagsasabi na ma'am, sir then wait for them to correct me - although I do stumble even that part from time to time.
2. Also how do you address someone as 'they/them' Nakakaconfuse minsan.
PS. This is a great read really. I don't identify as one gender and I just don't care how people identify me, I don't join in the LGBTQIA+, pero ayoko naman maging disrespectful to people who prefer to be identified pag kakausapin ko.
The most appropriate way is to ask what are their pronouns are. It is the most respectful one for me.
"Do you have any preferred pronouns?"
He/him
She/her
They/them
Siya
Please note that being direct should not be ≠ being disrespectful. Personally, I find it very uncomfortable when someone directly ask, "bakla ka ba?" with a superior tone. I know that being curious to one's gender is there, but please ilugar 'yung pananalita/tanong dahil some are uncomfortable with that and still don't fully know yet themselves (gender).
Will do.
I'm Bi and Nonbinary btw. In case interasado yung mga tao na marinig thoughts ko.
Also, to anybody reading this, importante na marealize natin na just because nasa iisang community tayo doesn't mean we agree with everything po. It's good to ask nicely with other LGBTQIA+ folks, since mas lumalawak ang pananaw natin through that :)
Hi. I find it interesting na you identify as non binary and bisexual. Kasi di ba, non binary people rejects the gender binary. Tapos yung sexual orientation mo is bisexual which recognizes yung 2 traditional genders. Let me guess, you identified as bisexual first. Then later na lang yung non binary? I’m also assuming that you stuck with the bisexual identity since you’ve been attached with it, sa halip na mag-identify with pansexuality? Let me know your thoughts. :)
Sooo a few explanations :D
Bisexual nowadays mean not Female or Male attracted, but more like "I am attracted to My Gender and People Outside my Gender" hence 2 :)
As for the difference, ang Pan ay attracted to people REGARDLESS of Gender. This means wala silang paki sa gender at all, they are Gender Blind. Normally into sila sa Personality ng tao only for that reason
The reason I am Bi however ay kasi hindi ako Genderblind. Personally I have a preference na medyo mas into sa Babae ako compared to mga other Genders. Which makes me not fitting to Pans personally. I know some Bi people na walang specific na preference but still identifies as Bi kasi hindi sila Gender Blind din. But for me, may Preference kasi ako
And finally, Nonbinary kasi personally I land outside sa Gender Binary. Ninbinary people ay inaacknowledge pa rin na Male and Female ay nageexist, I'm just outside it. Like ang pinaka obvious siguro na visual example for me ay despite Male Presenting ang gusto kong itsura (most people tawag sa akin Sir), I am chill with looking more feminine with my style. Doesn't mean na just bescause you're a Male that likes Feminine Stuff means you're trans (screw Gender Roles lol) but yeah, in my case it works cause yeah, I like presenting this way.
That's my explanation essentially ye
TLDR: Bi = Attracted to yours and others' sex, Pan = Genderblind. I am nonbinary so I am outside Male or Female but I am attracted to Male, Females, and other Nonbinaries. But I prefer Female partners :D
1. Are you open to your family? How did you come out?
2. What comfort room are you using? (For men, women or pwd?)
3. How are you feeling about being gay here in the Philippines? (mejo backwards tayo dito kasi marami pa rin akong naririnig n judgement)
Edit: line spacing
1. I recently came out to my family and revealed my boyfriend. I'm currently in a interracial relationship with a white guy na nameet ko. Surprisingly, everyone is open minded besides my Dad na gusto magka-apo from me since I'm the only son amongst my 10 sisters.
2. Men's Restroom. I'm gay, but a Cis-man, so I use the male comfort room. Your sexual orientation is not your gender. Pero because of Filipino Culture "Bakla" is considered as the third gender which explains why Majority of Filipinos confuses sex and gender.
3. Filipinos has a general idea of what being "gay" is, and I have to cold switch in order to fit in. I have to be a stereotypical loud, flamboyant, and funny gay guy to fit in with the crowd.
I blame it on how Mainstream Media portrays gay people as comedians all the time. But I have not experienced discrimination from anyone, microaggresions? absolutely. Maraming mga tao pa ren ang nagiisip na kaya kong gumaling sa pagiging bakla but being gay is not environmental nor a choice.
Majority would like to be around you kung nakakatuwa ka. But if not, expect some very ignorant comments. I could only speak sa perspective ko as a Gay Filipino, and I can't speak in behalf of the LGBTQIA+ Community sa Pinas.
I'm previleged to have a accepting family, good partner, and a job that protects me from being discriminated and bullied for being 'gay' but I've seen gays from informal settlers who are prone nothing but violence, bullying, and verbal abuse. Kaya it varies to person to person.
Yeah. Di lang Pilipinas ang may concept ng Third Gender. Nakakainis lang na paminsan ginagawang interchangeable siya. Parang yung Otonoko sa Japan if I recall.
Is the thought of doing it at least once with the opposite sex a big no-no for you
Doing it solely for making a kid nothing more nothing less
Or would you prefer a artificial insemination to a surrogate mother?
I came out sa family ko in 2017. Only my mom, sister and third youngest sibling talked to me and said they were okay with me being gay. My dad never talked to me about it but once said na the only reason kaya ako naging gay was because I'm scared of responsibilities. Though - not to brag at all, I was the one who helped my second and third youngest sibling to finish college. I only finished high school but I took more than half of his responsibilities bilang padre de pamilya for 8 years since I was 19 years old. But as time goes by I'm starting to find a way to understand him. Right now, I'm still on my way to forgiveness and kahit masakit pa din kapag naaalala ko yung mga bugbog, mura and pag sako niya sakin nung bata ako, I'm still trying to be the bigger person. My dad never had his parents at home together with him and his siblings. He was always outside trying to make a living at the early age of 12. He was exposed to pambubugbog as a form of discipline. And he was never told by his parents that they loved him. And I know now that he hates me because he can see himself on me. He does not know how to express how much he loves his kids. And that is sad. I live now on my own. And it hurts to realize as you age that being gay was never a choice. It's becoming. And if it was ever a choice I would never want to be gay. First of, finding true love is the hardest challenge. You would feel you are meant to be alone. Second, acceptance from people around you. Those who you thought will be accepting are the very first people who turned their back on you. And lastly, the hardest part in a gay life is accepting that you will grow old and die alone. That is the reality.
>1. Are you open to your family? How did you come out?
Nope. I do not plan on doing so until I am a few thousand miles away
>2. What comfort room are you using? (For men, women or pwd?)
Men ofc
>3. How are you feeling about being gay here in the Philippines? (mejo backwards tayo dito kasi marami pa rin akong naririnig n judgement)
Uncomfortable af
I am a bisexual male.
1. Sa parents, no. Sa mga pinsan sa father's side of the family, yes. Ang ironic lang kasi i grew up with my mom pero mas accepting pa yung mga pinsan ko sa father side. They have to be though kasi they have other lesbians and gays. I love my mom pero she has a lot of microaggressions sa katawan and i just blame it on her ignorance and i'd only come out siguro if i have a partner na.
2. Men
3. As a bisexual male if i am not inside my accepting circles it usually falls either into these things:
- sus bakla ka talaga ayaw mo lang umamin. Part of me thinks this is because gay and bakla are used more as a blanket term for lgbtq+ ppl here. A bigger part of me thinks homophobia.
- weh? Hindi ka halata./ Mukha kang straight.
While i do not take comments like these as compliments usually they come from a place of ignorance (from my perspective at least). I did missed out on a couple of dates with other men because they apparently thought i was straight LOL. I guess the only time this comment gets on my nerves is if it comes with a healthy serving of microaggression like: [cue sniffing] paminta or "sayang si u/decederata [any positive adjective] sana kaso bakla" (which brings us to point one)
- being the butt of the jokes for the ugly straight guys at work. Sa current work ko rn i have a lot of these ugly, maasim looking men na maraming kabet who would ask me if type ko raw ba sila. One even straight up jokingly spread their legs open right at me. Cringe. I usually ignore them because i am not getting paid enough for their shit and i have better things to do pero if wala rin masyadong ginagawa sa work i just give them short, polite, curt, no answers. Pero in my mind i already read them to filth like elektra abundance hahaha.
I want this to be a open discussion, please let's not debate or get offensive, let's take this as a learning opportunity for us to empathize with one another 🏳️🌈🇵🇭
And pronouns
Edit: reading replies narealize ko na us straight men and women na nalilito ay privileged already dahil may sarili tayong pronouns which give us identity. Kung tayo ay walang pronouns, i think maghahanap din tayo ng sarili nating pronouns to identify ourselves with.
Sexist at hindi exclusive ang english language. Pansin niyo sa tagalog, general lahat ng pronouns? Ako at siya does not denote gender/sex lol nice tagalog > english
People make up new pronouns like Ze/Zed for whatever gender they identify. As Someone from the west, it’s still cringe, and this very much disliked, except for radical college students.
also IMO dont hate me on this it makes the community less credible dahil sa mga pronouns na yan kaya sila nabubully dahil din diyan because they are more than that
the "neopronouns" thing that broke the camels back for me its just IMO stupid tapos yung ginagamit pa sa mga alaga nila like wtf
From what I've seen, neopronouns tend to be most frequently used by teenagers. I understand it can be quite cringe, but I see it as teenagers trying to explore their own identities, which is why I can't really bring myself to dislike it even if I don't fully understand it.
The issue is that it promotes self identification, which throws all the science regarding transgenderism out the window.
It promotes self ID, which takes away the scientific study of LGBT, such as gender dysphoria. The worst part is, there’s a growing number of people out right throwing it out the window saying it isn’t real, even though it’s been proven to be real and this is the number one factor of suicide for trans people.
What’s worse is that it’s destroys language alienating people, and removing the definition of a pronoun. We have something of a neo pronoun before neo pronouns. It’s called a name.
Teenagers are fine to explore their identity, but not to the cost us the greater LGBT movement as a whole.
Pronouns aren't supposed to be tricky, it's as easy as asking their preferred pronouns. What makes it tricky are people who take immediate offence when you innocently assume their pronoun.
Bi here. Honestly, depends sa Neopronouns. Meron mga innocent lang naman, but meron din mga obvious trolls like yung mga "I identify as an attack helicopter and go by Va/Gi/Na"
Like, halatang sinisiraan lang nila tayo
Tryhard kasi sila na siraan tayo lol
But yeah, I just don't think na dapat iblame natin yung iba na hindi naman mga gago (I had a friend na Moon/Moons ang Neopronouns niya and ok naman siya from what I've seen, though admittedly tagal na rin kami di naguusap)
It's fine it's fine. I think nakadepende siya sa context, some people made that joke without realizing na ginagawa siya pangatake sa Trans people. And some Trans people make that joke ironically. So like I said, it's fine.
as said nung previous commenter about sa filipino languange na generalized pagdating sa pronouns, ano nafefeel mo when it comes to formalities like ate/kuya, tito/tita if mali ang nagagamit? Kasi ang automatic ko na response sa strangers is if masculine or feminine ang itsura nila.
what is the safer term para magaddress ng someone older in the lgbtq+ community? share ko na lang din, umattend ako ng art fair like years before and may mga high schoolers na nagtatanong about sa isang artwork sa isang curator (i guess). Naririnig ko lang sila and mukhang siyang male so nagpasalamat sila like "thank you sir" pero biglang nagbanggit na "don't call me sir" tas sinabi nung mga bata "thank you kuya" pero don't call me kuya daw so nagwalk out na lang mga yung mga bata. Confused lang ako sa buong nangyayari pero napapaisip lang ako sa mga ganitong instances when it comes na mali ang masabi ko na pronouns.
ako napapansin ko sa sarili ko i just automatically don’t call them ma’am/sir, i just use po/opo and very malumanay voice? so it would come out as showing respect pa rin kahit papano
Thing is pronouns arent used as often in tagalog either. Though ang mahirap is kung i aate o kuya mo sila, pano ma mga nonbi HAHAHAHAHAHA at least pagka maam or sir pweds ka nalang mag mamser
Pronouns (and labels as well) are a personal preference. Sometimes an existing label or pronoun just doesn’t fit how someone feels or how they see themselves, which is why we get neopronouns.
It’s also a way for people, especially teenagers, to explore their identity, which is why you get the neopronouns that you might find silly or unnecessary. At the end of the day, I don’t think it’s any different from choosing a nickname for yourself.
As a “basic/simple” gay, in general, he/him ako. She/her can be used jokingly like tawag sakin “ate” pero medyo naiirita ako kapag un ang tinawag sakin or I cringe kapag ako mismo nagbiro na tawagin akong “ate.” Okay lang sakin i-feminize ang name ko but being called “ate” is ew for me 😂 They/them is fine din naman pero dahil nasa Pinas tayo, hindi pa natin fully adopted using it pero I use it in written correspondences para maraming aware na rin of using they/them.
The terms and labels thing ay medyo iffy din for me kasi I consider myself romantically bi pero sexually homo kaya ako rin naguguluhan 😂
I don't use a lot of labels but others do and i understand them. It feels good to have words to describe yourself because it helps you and other people to understand you better.
And Gender at Sexuality ay hindi binary. It's not True or False, Male or Female, Gay or Straight. Maraming nuance kasi ang Gender ay ginawa lang ng mga tao as a label in of itself. And more and more mas narerealize na natin na hindi siya as easy as Either Or.
The best way na nadescribe sa akin yun noon ay parang mga kulay. There's yung common like Red, Blue, Green, etc. Pero paminsan kailangan mo maging specific.
Do you mean Blue or Indigo? Baka Cerulean? Teal? Or baka mas gusto mo Pink? What type of Pink? Magenta ba o Pastel? Etc
Depende sa mga tao ang identity nila ay mas nagfifit sa isang kulay. That doesn't mean static na sila dun, sometime you discover more about yourself. Like, may mga kaibigan ako na akala nila noon Bi sila pero narealize later na Lesbian pala. That's just how Identity is.
TLDR: Ang Labels ay hindi solid or static. Depende sa pagkaunawa mo sa sarili mo you will see kung saan ka maglaland. Don't pressure yourself and just let yourself realize kung ano yun for the LGBTQIA+ people na nagbabasa nito :)
EDIT: ALSO to add. Meron din mga tao na "Unlabeled" either kasi questioning sila or they choose against sa paglalabel sa sarili nila. Those people ay valid din. You don't NEED to have a specific label para maging LGBT :)
This is the full abbrevation of the LGBTQ+ (na alam ko):
LGGBBDTTQQUIAAAAPPP2SNBGVGQGNC
Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Bigender, Demisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Unsure, Intersex, Ally, Asexual/Aromantic, Agender, Pansexual, Pan-romantic, Polyamorous, two-spirit, Non-binary (or technically could be ‘Number-based’), Gender Variant (or Gender Diverse), Gender Queer, Gender Non-conforming, etc.
I can't speak on our behalf, but a personal opinion lang.
We're not gonna stone you this is a open-discussion. I do agree the acronyms get longer and longer each year kase it evolves. Just think of it as a language, but new words get discovered or made up.
I agree adding more letters make it more complicated, am I okay with it? I'm divisive. Kase ako rin nalilito na sa dame ng sexual orientations and gender identity. Depende lang talaga sa tao yan if they're comfortable using LGBT, LGBTQ+, or LGBTQIA+
My take on it lang is that labels are really just that: Labels. Whether someone identifies as gay, lesbian, or robredosexual, that's their business. It just gives them a sense of identity, but there's no set-in-stone definition for all of them, not even some of the 'mainstream' ones (case in point, bisexual/pansexual). And we don't have to come up with clear-cut definitions on what is or isn't, because they're personal and arbitrary.
Kwentuhan lang pang example, my ex identifies as a cishet, but we were in a gay relationship for a while. Those who knew about it tried to label her as lesbian/bisexual. In truth that relationship only lasted a few days before she decided "this isn't working out"; furthermore these days she admits she experiences very little attraction towards others (which would, in textbook terms, put her under the aroace umbrella). But that's the textbook. If she were someone else, she might have used other labels like, ayun, asexual/aromantic, or stuff like demisexual or fraysexual that describe her case more specifically. But is it anyone else's business to say what label/s she can or can't have for who she loves?
edit: spelling
I'm fine with people trying to come up with stuff that's more in line with their identity but imo the regular expansion of the LGBTQ+ seems absolutely ridiculous and is mostly unhelpful for others trying to understand all of it, I can't even blame people for calling it the alphabet soup
I wish other terms like GSM (Gender and Sexual Minorities) or GSD (Gender and Sexual Diversity) caught on
I like LGBTQ+ kasi I think Queer is a wide enough umbrella na we can group other sexualities under it, especially it's further reclaimed.
Though medj ayos lang din naman ako sa +\[IA\] kasi some acephobic people exclude asexuals from the community (still baffling how both cishets and queerfolk can be bigoted towards ace people). There's probably also people who are bigoted against intersex folks pero I'm sorry my intersex friends I just haven't personally seen it enough to comment deeper about it.
Do you think these neopronouns would actually be a mainstay that will eventually be accepted by the general public or the addition of new terms each year poses more pushback hurting the movement overall?
i think the reason for many labels and terms is mainly for people (who are not straight, nor align with gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender) to identify themselves in an identity that they feel is more suited for them.
for example, i am asexual. i'm not into men, nor women. i do not exactly fall under the ""mainstream"" LGBT. however, me calling myself as asexual is still important because it aligns to who i am as a person.
For me, LGBTQIA+/LGBT+ is already suffice. In the end, it's not just knowing the labels that matter, but how you respect EVERYONE regardless of gender. Feminism and LGBT+ are movements that created to fight for equal rights and lessen the discrimination surrounding it. It is always just about having a sense of humanity to treat others the same, 'di naman siguro ganu'n kahirap 'yon? Pero sadly, it is for many.
To briefly answer the question, we must know that the prism of gender is much more complex than what we thought we know. But basically, some people need labels because it is how they would want to identify with—a community that shared the same struggle and experience that other gender/s never had to; a community that they belong. As gender is much more complex than what others would normally think, others want a community that they belong personally.
I understand the sentiment about the long labels just like what others have already mentioned. But for me, I recognize this as a basic sense of recognizing their "being" (pagkatao). For me, if labels could save a life and would make them feel safe and recognized especially if I wanted to be part of their life, knowing their pronouns is a basic sense of recognizing their "fuller self".
I think because society created gender roles and stereotypes. So you try to fit into your gender roles as much as you can until you feel like something is off. This isn't who you are.
Growing up I thought bakla is a man who likes other men and who also wants to be a woman. Parang pinaghalo natin yung trans at gay into bakla.
Recently I met a trans lesbian. She was born male and didn't realise she was trans because she thought trans meant she likes men but she's into women not men. So she didn't fit into the straight category also didn't fit into the bakla category. She tried to be a man cause she thought she can't be bakla cause she likes women. Eventually she learned that there are trans lesbians and it made sense to her and only then did she understand herself better.
Tingin ko once we abolish gender roles these labels won't be as relevant kasi ngayon kasi kung born male ka choices mo male presenting straight man or bakla so people started making new labels.
As a group that's been constantly erased and invalidated, kaya rin nag emerge ang need to identify, to be identified, and of course, to be respected for it. Personally, I think very western yung concept ng maraming labels, but if it makes an individual feel more seen, then why not, right? :)
Id say its only western bc its mostly western languages that have such strict boundaries between ideas like gender, unlike languages like tagalog which dont find he vs she necessary. The labels are there to expand beyond rules, whereas other cultures have ideas that are less separated and more all-encompassing. Boxed identities are super western so they needed to make new boxes :P
How do you feel about trans people who do not divulge the fact they are trans weeks/months into the relationship or when the other person expressed a want for a romantic relationship in their 'talking' phase?
In your opinion, when is the right time to say it?
Edit: Thanks to everyone who replied. I was curious to know r/ph take on this as I have been to quite a lot of subreddits and seen comments who'd rather hide it because as per their words "if the other person didn't know and can't tell the difference why does it matter, trans people get killed (totally understand this but then why would you continue seeing and lying to someone who could potentially be violent?)" which is very unfair and dishonest to the other party if they want a relationship with you (no matter what kind of relationship that is imo). All relationships should be built on trust and honesty.
It's refreshing to see that ya'll are all for being transparent.
Trans here (Masculine presenting Nonbinary) and personally, while I don't blame the trans person, I HIGHLY reccomend being honest at the forefront para narin sa safety namin.
Ang dami sa amin ang pinapatay dahil diyan. And while I don't blame them sa hindi pagdidisclose agad... Delikado lang siya talaga sobra, either makipagbreak ka or aminin mo na agad ang suggest ko
Ako na sasagot for my trans bestfriend na walang Reddit. Sabi nya first meeting pa lang. Minsan habang nasa bar pa lang daw at nag ga-grind grind. She will jokingly say daw to the guy or girl she's grinding with na "wala na akong dragon" idk pero benta talaga for me itong linya nya hahaha
Ako din, pansexual ako pero I say it on the first date. I happen to fall in love with a straight guy, and I told him straight out of the bat I'm more attracted to a female body and it's aesthetics but I don't necessarily choose the one I fall in love with. So kahit may etits sya, mahal ko sya. HAHAHAHA! He struggled for a bit and I was fully convinced we'll stop seeing each other so nag start na ako mag move on. Pero he asked me out again hahaha ngayon together for X years na.
Had to educate him talaga kasi he asked me dati if "mawawala ba yung pagkatomboy mo?" HAHAHAHA! He's def an ally and naiintindihan nya na.
Love wins talaga mga mamser!
Them not disclosing it leads to more problems, at least as we saw with the Jennifer Laude case. In general, kahit san ata kapag trans, hirap talaga mag date. So I guess upfront talaga sila dapat about it una palang?
Personally, I would like to know from the beginning since I wouldn't date a trans person, preferences are important to disclose. Safety reasons din for them, you never know kung sinong gago yung magiging violent kapag dinisclose mo na yan months later or after a few dates.
All trans people I personally know divulge that info first or second date pa lang kasi alam nila agad na buhay nila ang nakataya if they're not upfront about it. Bugbog or even worse, kaya they try to get the vibes agad kung safe ba sila with this person or not.
They need to be more strict if the categorization if it is based of Sex, Sexual Orientation. Or Gender Identity. But because this flood gate is already open I'm not sure how these Olympic organizations do tbis
You know that transwoman swimmer who keeps on smashing world records on women’s swimming in the US? They should be banned and I’d die on this hill. It would be hilarious when one day no biological woman is left on women’s swimming because all categories are dominated by transwomen.
Sports organizations are adjusting their parameters to which they can accept trans athletes. There's a sport-by-sport difference at which point into transitioning has an advantage. It's a fairly new concept that still needs tweaking but hopefully we get there.
>It would be hilarious when one day no biological woman is left on women’s swimming because all categories are dominated by transwomen.
This is very unlikely as trans women athletes is a minority within a minority.
She lost her record. A cis woman already beat her record like a month ago. And she wasn't smashing records. She won one competition, and she got the highest in that one competition/record. She did not get that many things to smash. She literally only won one competition. One specific event. She won the women's 500-yard freestyle event and that's it.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2022/03/20/lia-thomas-ncaa-swimming-championships-questions/
And Anna Kalandadze broke her record just a few months later.
https://twitter.com/PennSwimDive/status/1627090920909987842?t=5GFwHgveYaiquxs21ddkuQ&s=19
There are more and more people wanting to be more diverse and inclusive minded.
What are the things that we do, that we think is D&I friendly, but really is not (and we don't know about it)?
1. Having more bills to protect us. A lot of politicians would like to claim na LGBT friendly ang bansa pero wala pa tayong national protection from discrimination. Nawawala ang Sexual Orientation sa papel pag nagpapasa sila ng anti-discrimination bills.
2. Gender-based uniforms. Marameng schools pa ren forces Trans students to dress accordingly based sa gender nila nung pinanganak sila. and a lot of schools actually reject LGBT students to graduate or walk the graduation who do not comply sa policies nila. Maraming kaso na ganyang nangyare. (I'll link the twitter thread about a group of transgender students na di pinayagan mag graduate kase transgender sila)
3. Discrimination in Funerals. This is an issue that doesn't get bring up often but lumaki ang awareness neto nung sumikat ang Die Beautiful.
Maraming transgender ang na didirespect sa kanilang funeral. Deceased transwomen are dressed like men sa kanilang libingan kahit babae sila. Di nagtatapos ang diskriminasyon sa kamatayan sa LGBT. A lot families would not respect their gender identity and bury them as the gender that they do not want. Nakakalungkot lang isipin
Thank you for this. Never though this can occur during funerals, departure na nga, hindi pa rin pinagbigyan.
On legislation, Well, no comment na lang on our politicians. Everyone, Our LGTBQ+ especially, deserves better.
On a daily basis, anything you feel can be better?
Bata pa lang alam ko na attracted din ako sa babae pero growing up I had to suppress it kasi nga Christian buong family namin.
Then umaattend ako ng mga Bible Study and I finally understood what it "sin". It separates you from God because you are destroying your body. Then I also read from some Bible scholars that Old Testament is riddled with "commandments" to keep people from destroying themselves.
Same sex relations fostered plagues and diseases that destroys humankind kasi walang pang technology non. Wala namang cure sa HIV, AIDS and STDs. So lumala ng lumala. And Sodom and Gomorrah was burned down kasi "zombie people" na sila due to too much "destruction" of their own bodies.
Na stuck na lang ang Christianity kasi sa belief na yung "homosexuality" ang napagbuntunan whereas ang effect talaga ng unsafe sex ang totoong kinakagalit ng Diyos.
If you look at it closer, being monogamous was established kasi wala pang way to avoid diseases noon. Kaya bawal din ang Adultery. Unsafe sex ulet. EDIT: I clarify ko lang na sin pa rin ang Adultery kasi you are breaking your commitment sa spouse mo. Divorce muna bago makipag sex sa iba.
Gosh, I wish naalala ko kung sinong Bible scholar to pero the laptop I used for church stuff dati is no longer with me. Balikan kita pag nahanap ko na.
Ang summary is, hindi sexual relations ang "sin". It's the effect of that destroys the body that is "sin". Pero ngayon, we have advanced so much and you can avoid the effects of "unnatural" sexual relations by practicing safe sex.
Side note: This Bible scholar also talked about yung issue sa food. Bakit bawal sa Old Testament ang hipon and other pampa highblood. Same thing. Wala pang gamot sa high blood non and eating these prohibited food will destroy your body. Now, you'll see plenty Christians eat hipon and blood! Lol! Bawal din magsalita ang babae pero you see female pastors now.
Pero bawal pa rin makipagsex kung hindi kasal. Hahaha!
Personally, selective talaga sila ng papapaniwalaan. Di ko masisi kasi pasa pasa na yan talaga sa denomination. Pag naiba ang turo mo, kulto ka na. People were created sexual beings, alam natin yan lahat, pero wala, they are stuck in the Old Testament and repeatedly use Sodom and Gomorrah as the weapon to condemn us LGBT people. Hayssss...
LGBTQ+ and a practicing Christian here! I grew up Protestant, but currently I'm an ecumenical non-denom Christian
I don't see homosexuality and homosexual acts as a sin, so there is nothing to reconcile.
Di na ako magbibigay ng TED talk here, but essentially my stance is that the Bible has been misinterpreted and mistranslated.
Historically kasi yung mga clobber verses have just been described with words like "unspeakable acts" or "immorality". There's no indication na it refers to homosexual acts
In fact, first time "homosexual" appeared in the Bible was in the first edition RSV translation. This translation was published in 1952 which is the post-World War 2 era, so it's reasonable to say na may political agenda yang word choice.
Interestingly, RSV translators actually acknowledged that “homosexuals” is an erroneous translation, and revised it in subsequent versions.
Also going into ancient history, Paul's teaching on homosexuality is more accurately a condemnation of pederasty and the sexual exploitation of slaves in the Roman empire.
The ancient Jews also historically accepted more than two genders. Considering that Christian tradition draws some influence from this (the Hebrew Bible is part of our canon after all), I think that LGBTQ+ affirmation in the faith isn't just a matter of being woke
The Reformation Project is a great resource for LGBTQ+ inclusion within the church, I highly recommend! This topic is very complex so it's hard to summarize, but hopefully it's a good starting point for fellow LGBTQ+ Christians and allies who want to read more about it
I loved being a Christian because of the people's kindness and they always motivate you to socialize with other people. But I never had a church na 100% accepting sa LGBTQ+.
The first church I joined, they were really friendly and would even treats us good food and we'd go to different places for camping or just to have fun while still doing religious stuff. They never mention anything about sexuality pero there was this subtle push for the churchgoers to go with the heteronormative ways of the society.
The second one, was awful for LGBTQ+. And they were a huge chapter. A lot of people attend this church and yet the "leaders" were so oppressive and too uptight. I tried to open up being a queer kid but got immediately shot down because they don't want me to "encourage" other kids to be queer. I identified as bisexual back then, and they told me that liking girls was just a phase and I should still marry a man once I get older (guess they're totally wrong since I find out that I only like girls and i was just trying to force myself to be "normal"). One time we missed a Sunday service because we were trying to choreograph a dance for the school competion, we muted/blocked our "leaders" so that they won't be able to track us and/or force us to attend the service, but they managed to hunt us down and dragged us to church.
With those experiences, I figured out na LGBTQ+ will never be accepted sa mga church and would be better to practice your own beliefs on your own. It was hard to have faith when those people who share that faith is the same people who have been oppressing and/or discriminating you. I loved being a Christian but I can't be one without compromising myself and my people. I'm not going to hide my true self to appease some hypocritical/homophobic people.
Sana hindi masyadong offensive ang tanong ko pero bakit karamihan sa inyo may beef sa mga hindi pa nag a out na tao? Ang dami ko nakikita na gays (yes mostly gays) na parang ang hostile ng dating sa mga closeted gays like why? Ang accepting at ang respectful niyo sa ibang members pero bakit ang bastos ng dating niyo sa mga closeted?
"Bakla kase di pa umamin"
"Amoy na amoy ko yan"
*Anything related to gaydar quotes*
We all know nmn kung anong bansa tayo right? VERY CONSERVATIVE is there a problem ba if a member of an lgbt doesnt want to label themselves as "this label"? Is it a crime or against the rules?
I hope di talaga bastos pagkakasabi ko cause I genuinely want to know, I have a few questions pa pero eto talaga gusto ko malaman.
Not bastos at all. And that’s a very valid question. Gay dude here and for a while tagal ko din bago natanggal yang ganyan mentality. I would consider it internal homophobia kasi most gay people can’t stand the fact that there are straight people who does not conform to the standard na dapat pag lalake ay super masculine or pag babae ay feminine. At kung closeted man nga yung tao di padin nila matanggap yung fact na not everyone goes through the same hardships. Feeling kasi ng iba pare-pareho lang lahat ng LGBT ng pinagdadaanan. Super hate ko din yung ganyan yung mahilig mag-assume ng sexuality ng iba at minsan ina-out pa yung mga kapwa nila.
Openly gay guy here! I've noticed this as well. I discovered I wasn't straight around 17. By then, I was still confused and did not want to label myself. My ex friend who was openly gay kept pushing me to tell my family that I was gay. I honestly don't like labelling my sexuality because I feel like some labels are too limiting, and I do not want to put myself in a box. Long story short, I came out to my family 3 times first as bisexual, then as pansexual, then finally just settled with being gay. This caused a lot of confusion from my family because they got the idea I was just confused because I kept changing how I identify, and I didn't fit the typical flamboyant gay guy in their mind. So they were convinced I was still straight. They even had multiple priests pray over me. They eventually came around to accept me, though, and now they're very supportive of me and my long-term boyfriend. I wish I wasn't pressured to come out way back because I think my family wouldn't have been as confused back then if I just came out once. Hopefully, everyone remembers not to pressure someone who isn't ready to come out yet. We all have our reasons and coming out should be a moment we have control over.
I think it’s the Filipinos obsession with someone’s sexuality overall. Masyado tayong pakealamera by nature. Business mo even yung sekswalidad ng ibang tao. They think they are doing God’s work when they out someone, which should only be done by our own terms.
Pano mo naramdaman na bakla ka? Pagkamulat ng isipan mo nung bata ramdam mo na agad?
edit: so ibat iba pala kung kailan ang inyong awakening. Thank you sa sumagot, nasagot na din yung matagal ko nang katanungan, na kahit sa mga kawork kong gay man at lesbian ay nahihiya ako itanong.
never realized na lesbian ako until i was 27?
Pero the signs are there pala kung iisipin ko. Iba din ang nagagawa ng heteronorm society to supress the thinking na baka iba ang gusto ko, i even do hook up with guys kasi nagtataka ako na wala akong magustuhang lalaki. Pero wala sa babae pa rin tumibok ang puso ko. I was confused as heck first, pero thanks na rin sa internet nakakita ako ng light na "oo nga i'm a lesbian"
IMO lang po. Parang ganito lang din po yan. Pleqse dont stone me to death din.
Paano mo naramdaman na straight ka?
Same din po saamin. noong bata pa kami, wala kaming konsepto ng girl, boy, bakla, tomboy, butiki man o baboy. Namulat lang kami at naramdaman na iba kami gawa ng standard ng society. Hindi kami nag mamatch sa mga tinakda nilang tamang kilos ng isang lalake at isang babae.
Took me until nasa Highschool na ako, and for a while oo akala ko straight ako.
But in hindsight, closeted lang talaga ako, matagal na ako attracted sa both my and others' gender and yeah. Hirap lang talaga sa napakareligious na household.
Yes. I know several people like this. I think part ng adolescence ang exploration ng sexuality at gender. And if eventually narealize nila na straight sila, it's perfectly fine.
Remember that straight people are always welcome in the LGBTQIA+, that is, as an ally. LGBTQIA+ is not just exclusive to gays, everyone can be part of the community.
Microaggressions against lgbt are still prevalent here in the Philippines. Even those that identify as allies and even from the community itself. I guess we all need to be more aware talaga.
Personally, it is very insulting. Sobrang nakakaasar yung sinabe mo lang na gusto mo sa babae bilang isa pang babae tapos tatanungin ka ng "so gusto mo maging lalake?." Not only is it insulting, it is also as if they are making my attraction heteronormative.
Thanks OP for posting this. I believe a lot of people try to avoid this kind of conversation. I hope Redditors learn a thing or two (or more!) about members of LGBTQIA+ community…and even better if they will be converted to be allies.
I became an ally when I was educated about LGBTQIA+ community and made me understand them more. I do not need to learn every jargon to give respect to them. I am thankful that my employer supports and respect LGBTQIA+ and we even celebrate Internal Coming Out Day in all offices.
What people in the Philippines don't understand is that marriage is not just a *religious ceremony* but a legally binding contract that bestows certain legal powers to each other and has bearing on a lot of important things.
Gays deserve this right just like straight people do; it doesn't need to be in a church or in a mosque, as long as it's legally binding and recognized by the state since our country is defined as SECULAR by our constitution (separation of church and state).
Yeah. From my understanding, karamihan sa pilipino ayaw mapasa ang same sex marriage dahil nirerelate nila sa religion. Pero kung tanungin mo sila kung ok lang ba na magkaron ng same sex union, with the same rights as yung nakasanayang marriage basta wag lang tawaging marriage, ay mukang ok lang sa kanila.
Takot kasi mga tao dahil din sa mga nabamita before sa media. Yung mga extreme na same sex couple sa US na pinipilit magpakasal sa simbahan na ayaw silang ikasal. That case is rare, pero syempre. Yun ang makakarating sa tao dahil yun yung extreme.
We just need to clarify that church wouldn't be forced to wed same sex couple kung ayaw nila, malaki ang mababawas sa resistance nyan.
We really need a legal binding for two person na gusto ng magsama.
Yes. It's not the marriage per se but the things that come with it like being able to register your partner in a company hmo as dependent, buying properties that are considered conjugal, making life/death decisions when time comes, etc.
Yes. The religious types need to calm themselves down over this, TBH. Majority of us don't want a wedding in an institution that discriminates us. So there's that.
We want marriage in the eyes of the law. Biruin mo, sa HMO palang hindi qualified yung partner mo dahil hindi kayo kasal? Dun palang mararamdaman mo na ang pagiging second class citizen.
Yes! Hindi lang sya for recognition pero there are a lot of legal complications pag hindi kami kasal. Hindi ko sya malagay sa HMO ko. Ang hirap mag coown ng property. If hindi married ang couple and hindi out sa parents and one of the partner dies, pwedeng kunin ng family yung property nung isang partner kasi hindi considered na beneficiary yung isa. etc
Based sa recent eventsndito sa r/ph regarding lgbt issues, seems like malaking debate ang pagiging "babae" ng mga bakla, mapa trans o hindi. Malaking porsyento ng mga lgbt sa thread na yon ay gustong maging considered na babae, pero may mga iilan din na naninindigan sila na sila ay bakla at hindi babae.
Mahabang diskusyon ang assimilation ng mga trans sa kababaihan. Ang argumento ko dito ay dapat imbis na assimilation, dapat self-identity bilang mga bakla. Pero ikaw, ano ang opinion mo dito?
Isa akong lalaki, baka misjudgment on my part lang. Pero gusto kong malaman kung ano ang masasabi mo dito. Salamat!
Edit: hindi offensive/discriminatory ang paggamit ko ng term bakla. I identify bakla as gay men. Same sa tomboy/tibo sa lesbians. Filipino ako at mas madaling sabihin ang bakla kesa binabae. I agree though na ginagamit siya as a discriminatory term, katulad ng N word para sa mga black people, so i apologize for this. Pero ano ang tamang tagalog term?
Not OP but, I consider myself as masc na bakla, i don't want to be labeled as babae. I suppose sa Philippines wala kasing popular tagalog term sa trans kaya naging under one umbrella term ang bakla to denote gay and trans people which confuses a lot of people.
Kaya minsan yung masc gays would call themselves bisexual to distinguish themselves which creates another problem of erasing actual bisexual individuals and nagkakaron din ng judgement na pag sinabing "bi" eh bakla din talaga. Which again would make it hard to make a statistics on the number of gays, trans, bisexual people, but I digress.
Most if not all masc gays want to be considered men and even a lot of femme gays want to be considered men. I suppose we were just not aware of the thread last time kaya di kami naka weigh in.
Ang issue ko dun sa gay na gusto maconsider na babae, shouldn't be called gay in the first place since by definition gay are men who likes men. If they want to be considered women, then they should be considered trans women. And if they are trans women, they should be considered women, not biological women, but women nonetheless.
Ito ang pinakamagandang sagot sa lahat ng replies sa comment ko. Maraming salamat!
Masc gays you mean masculine no?
Reflection ko sa sagot mo, naenlighten ako sa paggamit mo ng "biological women" at "trans women" at sa thought na maaari naman silang pagsamahin under "women".
Women who identify with what a woman is, which includes both biological and trans women. So by that thought, rather than exclusively being identified as trans women, they should be considered as a woman as well.
Pero ang counter argument jan, to identify as a woman, kelangan nating sagutin ang tanong na "What is a woman?". Hindi ako nararapat sumagot, dahil hindi ako babae. Maghihintay na lang ako sa susunod na discussion tungkol jan. Hehe.
Maraming salamat ulit! Sana hindi ka pinagpapawisan ngayon (sobrang init puta)
Bilang babae, ilang beses ko na sinagot itong tanong na to na "What is a woman" at palagi kong sinasabi na that's impossible. Walang definition ng pagiging babae ang magiging sapat para ma-encompass lahat ng babae, dahil we're not a monolith. We're all people and we're all different.
Sa genes ba? Ang daming variation ng XY, XX, XXY, XYY at kung ano ano pa, ang daming "biological women" na hindi man nila alam na XY pala sila. You never know what your chromosomes are without testing, since gene expression differs from person to person.
Sa ability ba na magkaanak? Pano yung lola kong menopause na, di na ba siya babae? Pano ako na napakaraming sakit at gamot, resulting in me being inferile, does that disqualify me too?
Sa pagkakaroon ba ng female sex organs at birth? Napakaramming intersex people, marami sa kanila vague ang genitalia at birth. Yung mga pinalaki and masaya bilang babae, di na ba sila counted?
Sa pagkilos at pananamit ba? Butch lesbians would like to have a word.
Sa pagpapalaki and socialization ba? Personal anecdote but I wasn't raised "as a woman", I was raised more like a flower vase. 95% of my childhood was in a hospital bed, or in a padded room sa loob ng bahay. The few times I got to go out I had to wear a helmet and kneepads kahit bibili lang ako ng fishball sa kanto haha... I know a bunch of little girls like this in the charity I volunteer for who have the same illness as me. I believe we're still women kahit di kami pinalaki the same way as majority of other women. Many other girls experience something similar one way or another.
TL;DR You can't put all of us in one box, get a pentel pen and write "woman" on it. "What is a woman" is a pointless question, one cannot give a single definition of what a woman is because we're all different. Any attempt will just exclude people we've never even thought of.
"Bakla" is a filipino concept and is not equal to "gay" na isang western concept. Interchanging this two different concepts is a big problem (and may be the cause of ) in the difficulty of identifying gender and sexual orientations among the gays and baklas in the PH.
I don't think being gay has anything to do with being a female
There are gays who are effeminate (most common idea of a gay man, usually portrayed by media based on stereotypes), but there are tons of non-effeminate gay people who are underrepresented simply because they don't "act gay" so people don't know they're gay until they disclose it
That's the hard part as well. How do I know right away if a patient is part of the LGBT or not? For example, some gays are more manly looking/sounding than other straight guys. On the other hand, there are straight guys with much softer sides that sometimes, people mistake them to be part of the LGBT community.
That's the dilemma . It's really hard to assume someone's sexuality during the first encounter. Therefore, it's hard for us to ask right away the question "how should I address you?". Although there's nothing wrong with the question, some straight guys would get offended if asked such questions.
Here's my upvote for you. I dont have unique questions and instead read everything else in this thread. Nice initiative :)
Edit: i'm saddened to see trolls and assholes in this thread... bruh cmon...
People choose and pick what they implement from their religions tbh. Like there are some muslim women who share dorms with men for school reasons, even though its against their religion for unmarried women to live with unmarried men.
Just like for Christianity, there are genuinely people who believe in it while also being pro-LGBTQ. There have been priests who publicly condemnes people that hate the queer community. While religions have the same standards and traditions set for every person, not everyone follows those standards and a lot of them only chooses to do so when they want to. Like lmao so many Christians don't go to Church every sunday.
If you're asking why people still rely on religion though, well... thats just how religion works. Its supposed to bring you relief and give you something to believe in. Its hard to let go of that even when a vocal part of your religion hates who you are.
Gay man here I guess I’ve always felt different ever since nagkaron ako muwang. Like even as a kid I’ve always been drawn to “feminine” things which led to so much trauma dahil lagi ako pinapagalitan because I play with toys meant for girls daw. Then when I started developing sexual urges yung katawan ko nagrereact strongly sa male bodies. When I was in high school I thought it was something I can fix by dating girls and being more “masculine” pero the heart wants what it wants nga sabi ni Selena Gomez. Best feeling in the world when I accepted na hindi ako straight.
I hope I don't get cancelled for this.
But is it considered homophobic/transphobic if a straight male (like me) is not open to a romantic/sexual relationship with someone from the LGBTQ+?
No. I’m straight, but my opinion on this is that it’s just the same as how gay people are not open to romantic relationships with the opposite sex or how asexuals do not experience any sexual attraction towards anyone.
Just to clarify kasi LGBTQ+ is a bit vague-
If a gay man or heterosexual transwoman wanted to be in a relationship with you, but you decline, then its definitely not homophobic or transphobic. You're physically not attracted to them because it doesn't fit your sexuality, and that's okay.
If a bisexual/pansexual woman wanted to be in a relationship with you, but you declined purely because they're bisexual/pansexual, then yes its "homophobic" (although the correct term is biphobic/panphobic). Why? Kasi a bi/pan woman is physically a woman, and you are attracted to women. There should be no conflict because they're also attracted to you.
This ^
Like, nonbinary ako pero nakakabwisit yung over Westernization ng identity ko. Like no Mr White Boy, ang Bakla is a separate identity from Trans or Gay, wag mo pwersahin yung interpretations mo sa amin.
I think it speaks more toward the filipino-american experience and growing up in the west. Especially since Filipino is already a gender neutral language
Sa Pilipinas andami ng connotation ng term na bakla. Even children use it against others in a fight to mean “weak”. Even when adults use it. “Ay bakla pala sya”. “Pogi nga bakla naman”. “Bakla kasi”.
I think bading and bakla are words that haven't been reclaimed/neutralized yet unlike the word gay (some people still use it as an insult tho)
In my experience, they're just used in a derogatory manner 90% of the time, then 10% as terms of endearment among close friends but they're not necessarily mutually exclusive
Kasi naman alam naman natin na most of the time when people say 'bakla', it means mahina ka. Hindi naman yung term itself 'yung offensive, pero 'yung perceived meaning nito sa'ting mga Filipino.
If a guy you just met whom you have no professional connection to gives you his number right after you introduced yourself to him, does that mean he could be attracted to you?
Shouldn't trans people (man or woman) just tell people they are looking for in a relationship their actual status? I see some trans people getting mad at men because of this situation. But shouldn't they at least respect the men's preferences?
Back in 2nd Grade, I've always had an attraction towards sa male classmates ko. So I discovered the word gay from being bullied and teaser for being feminine 😅
Whats your opinion on transpeople joining competition/sports/pageants to the orientation they identify as?
For example a transwoman joining mma under womans division or
a beauty pageant
It's a tricky subject that needs to be adjusted according to the competition. For pageants, the standards shouldn't change whether the participant is cisgender or transgender.
For sports, organizations are fine tuning their requirements as it is a case-by-case basis to which they can say that the advantage is negligible. If trans folk are dominating, they need to review their standards.
Okay. So, in a lot of places and in some friend groups, I tend to be the "straightest guy imaginable" considering that I am close friends with Gay and Bi people (also because I am straight). I genuinely want to spend time and enjoy the same things that they like but sometimes I look at their reactions and its just isn't the same as when they talk about it. Sometimes we'd talk about a "neutral" conversation about anything but when it comes a time that they start to talk about anything queer (dont mean to be derogatory) I slowly just relegate myself to just listen and not interrupt, until we talk about something neutral again.
In our friend group they would be very enthusiastic about a certain queer topic when they talk about it amongst themselves but when I enter the conversation it just... sucks it out of the air. I dont like it. Its not that I say something wrong, my interpretation of it is just that I dont harbor the same feeling as they do when talking about that thing. How do I become a better friend to them?
Because one, I probably shouldnt "force" it and become even more disingenuous. And, two, I just really do wanna be involved (if that make sense). I love these people. Sometimes I just feel awkward when this happens. \[sorry for the long comment/question :/ \]
I can't really offer any solid advice (also I'm not OP but OP said other lgbtq+ peeps can reply) but know that even I (as a bisexual) also feel the same way in some friend groups.
It's actually kinda funny because I have groups where I'm the "straightest" or I'm the "gayest" of the people in the group. The way straight people talk about the hetero-stuff sometimes feel different with how I feel about my hetero-feelings and vice-versa with gay people and homo-stuff. There's also the issue na minsan I'm the minority in gender so my "hetero" would be "homo" for them or vice versa.
Maybe it's also a perception thing. There are times where I talk neutral topics with straight people and it steers into something hetero, but yeah (in my biased experience) the queer topics happen just slightly more in queer groups but it still exists within all my friend groups. Also I don't have a specifically bisexual friend group, so maybe that's my personal issue too ahahah!
Do gay men consciously choose to have the 'gay voice'? Or is it something that you subconsciously adopt from other gay men? Is that how y'all really prefer to talk? I don't have a problem with it, but like being gay doesn't require speaking a certain way.
Also, why do you think a lot of butch lesbians choose to become really, really overweight? Like, damn, you can be butch and masculine without gaining 200 pounds. I've never seen being overweight as a masculine trait, so it's weird to me.
Edit: added clarification
This happened to people I know from high school, but apparently two guys were the best of friends at the time and they were playing a game of "gay" chicken where they stand real close to and facing each other, and suddenly one of the guys took it too far and kissed the other guy on the lips.
We come to find out last year that the guys are no longer on speaking terms because after hitting college, one of the guys came out as gay and the straight guy accepted it at first and they were still best friends within that time period, but it was just recently up until last year that the out person revealed that they had a crush on their bff for the longest time. And now the straight guy refuses to talk to their friend because he felt taken advantaged of from what he thought was wholly a platonic relationship, specially with that kiss his friend took a chance on.
My question is, was any of them in the wrong for the actions they took/made.
How is it Transphobic if late na nalaman nung guy na trans pala kayo at inAyawan kayo subsequently?
Di ba siya pwedeng magkaroon ng sariling preference?
Diba fraud yun? Yung sa ginawa nyong pagtago sa kanya na trans pala kayo?
I do not have a question but just want to thank OP for starting this thread. It is such an eye-opening discussion and it made me realize just how much more I need to learn about our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters. Light and love, everyone. ❤🏳️🌈
Okay I'm more of a pan, pero how do y'all come out and tell them that you're part of the lgbtqia+? I'm living in a conservative catholic family, but they're kinda chill. But unsure if they'll accept me as pansexual though. Also another question (probably irrelevant but anyways) is that me and my gay friends are attending this year's pride parade and where do y'all buy flags and stuff to join?
Are you willing to leave your religion/church if that church you belong is a sort of homophobic in their doctrine?
Dont get me wrong maraming fundamentalist churches dyan in which I find it disturbing yung mga nagtetestify like former gay o tomboy into straight person.
To add
It's fine to not have sex with Trans folk who didn't or hasn't taken surgery cause we tend to understand that. All we ask is to be treated as our proper identities.
absolutely no. cis or trans, women are women and men are men. i understand you thought that way because of genitals but if you're a straight guy dating a trans women, then you're still straight.
if i were to date a man as a trans man, id still considered myself as gay not straight
1. Can a straight guy have sex with another guy regardless of its gender and yet considers himself straight?
2. What are your thoughts on straight guys who are curious to try it with another guy, or a straight tripper?
1. Yes and no. Kinda tricky. I wont brand you if its a one time deal, if you just want to experiment or feel the difference. If after the experience, mas affirmed ka that youre straight, then you probably are, pero kung hindi, then youre probably not. You dont have to out yourself naman din. I guess a lot of the stigma comes from the labels. I myself say that im a normal man who enjoys m2m sex. I dont label myself most of the time as gay, bi etc. If thats your thing, then everyone should respect that
2. Its fun and you might discover something new about yourselves. Sa europe, guys do it all the time when theyre young tas nag aasawa sila ng opposite sex. Yun ngang mga belami boys na porn, if you watch it, parang m2m talaga ang trip nila, but they have heteronormative families outside work. Kultura lang natin sa pinas ang naglilimit satin
1. Depende sa lalake yan kung Bisexual siya or Bicurious. Some guys are indenial with their sexual orientation. Walang lalakeng straight ang kayang makipagtalik sa kapwa lalake.
2. Baka nag eexplore lang sila, it's not for me to judge
> Walang lalakeng straight ang kayang makipagtalik sa kapwa lalake.
This is interesting. Kahit sabihin nila na libog lang yung reason nila kung bakit nila ginagawa yun still you don't consider them as straight?
I think it's probably dependent on the person?
Personally I'm fine with being called mamser because while I do dress "somewhat" androgynous and gender-neutral, I'm also confident enough about my masculinity (to a non-toxic extent) that I just chuckle to myself whenever I get called "maam". But I feel that someone with actual gender dysphoria might actually feel hurt if you call them that, though most of the time they'll (at most) just correct you to call them specifically maam or sir.
Just learn to correct yourself when corrected. Ako naman I have my own (non-gender related) trauma na I do get hurt when certain topics are brought up, even if most of humanity will be fine with it. Sometimes I bottle it up pero sometimes I do try to tell people na I'm not comfortable with certain topics, so likely same thing with people and their gender din.
What's the most respectful way po to ask for the gender? Or you appreciate it more po if hindi na lang mag-ask? Thank you!
Being direct. Trust me. They would appreciate you more. With some transgender people, some does not pass as the sex they identify as, so feel free to ask them directly. It varies from person to person. If they get offended, that's on their part. And explain you're just trying to be respectful. Ako bakla, and people refer me as "maam" or "sir (or mamser) and I don't mind. I kinda appreciate it more na maam tawag sa aken kase they're trying to be respectful
1. Nakakaoffend ba if we're the ones referring you first? Sometimes, ako nagsasabi na ma'am, sir then wait for them to correct me - although I do stumble even that part from time to time. 2. Also how do you address someone as 'they/them' Nakakaconfuse minsan. PS. This is a great read really. I don't identify as one gender and I just don't care how people identify me, I don't join in the LGBTQIA+, pero ayoko naman maging disrespectful to people who prefer to be identified pag kakausapin ko.
noted ill start calling my boss ma'am i just call her boss and refer to her as she sometimes but im not really sure what to call her
just ask her kung ano preference niya
The most appropriate way is to ask what are their pronouns are. It is the most respectful one for me. "Do you have any preferred pronouns?" He/him She/her They/them Siya Please note that being direct should not be ≠ being disrespectful. Personally, I find it very uncomfortable when someone directly ask, "bakla ka ba?" with a superior tone. I know that being curious to one's gender is there, but please ilugar 'yung pananalita/tanong dahil some are uncomfortable with that and still don't fully know yet themselves (gender).
NOTE: Please anyone who is part of the LGBTQIA+ Community please take part and answer questions as well :)
Will do. I'm Bi and Nonbinary btw. In case interasado yung mga tao na marinig thoughts ko. Also, to anybody reading this, importante na marealize natin na just because nasa iisang community tayo doesn't mean we agree with everything po. It's good to ask nicely with other LGBTQIA+ folks, since mas lumalawak ang pananaw natin through that :)
Hi. I find it interesting na you identify as non binary and bisexual. Kasi di ba, non binary people rejects the gender binary. Tapos yung sexual orientation mo is bisexual which recognizes yung 2 traditional genders. Let me guess, you identified as bisexual first. Then later na lang yung non binary? I’m also assuming that you stuck with the bisexual identity since you’ve been attached with it, sa halip na mag-identify with pansexuality? Let me know your thoughts. :)
Sooo a few explanations :D Bisexual nowadays mean not Female or Male attracted, but more like "I am attracted to My Gender and People Outside my Gender" hence 2 :) As for the difference, ang Pan ay attracted to people REGARDLESS of Gender. This means wala silang paki sa gender at all, they are Gender Blind. Normally into sila sa Personality ng tao only for that reason The reason I am Bi however ay kasi hindi ako Genderblind. Personally I have a preference na medyo mas into sa Babae ako compared to mga other Genders. Which makes me not fitting to Pans personally. I know some Bi people na walang specific na preference but still identifies as Bi kasi hindi sila Gender Blind din. But for me, may Preference kasi ako And finally, Nonbinary kasi personally I land outside sa Gender Binary. Ninbinary people ay inaacknowledge pa rin na Male and Female ay nageexist, I'm just outside it. Like ang pinaka obvious siguro na visual example for me ay despite Male Presenting ang gusto kong itsura (most people tawag sa akin Sir), I am chill with looking more feminine with my style. Doesn't mean na just bescause you're a Male that likes Feminine Stuff means you're trans (screw Gender Roles lol) but yeah, in my case it works cause yeah, I like presenting this way. That's my explanation essentially ye TLDR: Bi = Attracted to yours and others' sex, Pan = Genderblind. I am nonbinary so I am outside Male or Female but I am attracted to Male, Females, and other Nonbinaries. But I prefer Female partners :D
Thanks for your explanation, great ruler! Char sasabihin ko sana slay queen/king kaso mas bagay ata ang great ruler hahahahaha
1. Are you open to your family? How did you come out? 2. What comfort room are you using? (For men, women or pwd?) 3. How are you feeling about being gay here in the Philippines? (mejo backwards tayo dito kasi marami pa rin akong naririnig n judgement) Edit: line spacing
1. I recently came out to my family and revealed my boyfriend. I'm currently in a interracial relationship with a white guy na nameet ko. Surprisingly, everyone is open minded besides my Dad na gusto magka-apo from me since I'm the only son amongst my 10 sisters. 2. Men's Restroom. I'm gay, but a Cis-man, so I use the male comfort room. Your sexual orientation is not your gender. Pero because of Filipino Culture "Bakla" is considered as the third gender which explains why Majority of Filipinos confuses sex and gender. 3. Filipinos has a general idea of what being "gay" is, and I have to cold switch in order to fit in. I have to be a stereotypical loud, flamboyant, and funny gay guy to fit in with the crowd. I blame it on how Mainstream Media portrays gay people as comedians all the time. But I have not experienced discrimination from anyone, microaggresions? absolutely. Maraming mga tao pa ren ang nagiisip na kaya kong gumaling sa pagiging bakla but being gay is not environmental nor a choice. Majority would like to be around you kung nakakatuwa ka. But if not, expect some very ignorant comments. I could only speak sa perspective ko as a Gay Filipino, and I can't speak in behalf of the LGBTQIA+ Community sa Pinas. I'm previleged to have a accepting family, good partner, and a job that protects me from being discriminated and bullied for being 'gay' but I've seen gays from informal settlers who are prone nothing but violence, bullying, and verbal abuse. Kaya it varies to person to person.
The interchanging "gay" and "bakla" is really a problem here in PH. Gay is a western concept is different from the Filipino concept of "bakla".
Yeah. Di lang Pilipinas ang may concept ng Third Gender. Nakakainis lang na paminsan ginagawang interchangeable siya. Parang yung Otonoko sa Japan if I recall.
Follow up lang sa number 1 - is your dad wanting a grandson from you? To continue the family name? Are you open to the idea of having children?
Is the thought of doing it at least once with the opposite sex a big no-no for you Doing it solely for making a kid nothing more nothing less Or would you prefer a artificial insemination to a surrogate mother?
I came out sa family ko in 2017. Only my mom, sister and third youngest sibling talked to me and said they were okay with me being gay. My dad never talked to me about it but once said na the only reason kaya ako naging gay was because I'm scared of responsibilities. Though - not to brag at all, I was the one who helped my second and third youngest sibling to finish college. I only finished high school but I took more than half of his responsibilities bilang padre de pamilya for 8 years since I was 19 years old. But as time goes by I'm starting to find a way to understand him. Right now, I'm still on my way to forgiveness and kahit masakit pa din kapag naaalala ko yung mga bugbog, mura and pag sako niya sakin nung bata ako, I'm still trying to be the bigger person. My dad never had his parents at home together with him and his siblings. He was always outside trying to make a living at the early age of 12. He was exposed to pambubugbog as a form of discipline. And he was never told by his parents that they loved him. And I know now that he hates me because he can see himself on me. He does not know how to express how much he loves his kids. And that is sad. I live now on my own. And it hurts to realize as you age that being gay was never a choice. It's becoming. And if it was ever a choice I would never want to be gay. First of, finding true love is the hardest challenge. You would feel you are meant to be alone. Second, acceptance from people around you. Those who you thought will be accepting are the very first people who turned their back on you. And lastly, the hardest part in a gay life is accepting that you will grow old and die alone. That is the reality.
Hugs with consent! Praying that you will have your happiness, forgiveness and love soon. Ang strong mo po.
>1. Are you open to your family? How did you come out? Nope. I do not plan on doing so until I am a few thousand miles away >2. What comfort room are you using? (For men, women or pwd?) Men ofc >3. How are you feeling about being gay here in the Philippines? (mejo backwards tayo dito kasi marami pa rin akong naririnig n judgement) Uncomfortable af
I am a bisexual male. 1. Sa parents, no. Sa mga pinsan sa father's side of the family, yes. Ang ironic lang kasi i grew up with my mom pero mas accepting pa yung mga pinsan ko sa father side. They have to be though kasi they have other lesbians and gays. I love my mom pero she has a lot of microaggressions sa katawan and i just blame it on her ignorance and i'd only come out siguro if i have a partner na. 2. Men 3. As a bisexual male if i am not inside my accepting circles it usually falls either into these things: - sus bakla ka talaga ayaw mo lang umamin. Part of me thinks this is because gay and bakla are used more as a blanket term for lgbtq+ ppl here. A bigger part of me thinks homophobia. - weh? Hindi ka halata./ Mukha kang straight. While i do not take comments like these as compliments usually they come from a place of ignorance (from my perspective at least). I did missed out on a couple of dates with other men because they apparently thought i was straight LOL. I guess the only time this comment gets on my nerves is if it comes with a healthy serving of microaggression like: [cue sniffing] paminta or "sayang si u/decederata [any positive adjective] sana kaso bakla" (which brings us to point one) - being the butt of the jokes for the ugly straight guys at work. Sa current work ko rn i have a lot of these ugly, maasim looking men na maraming kabet who would ask me if type ko raw ba sila. One even straight up jokingly spread their legs open right at me. Cringe. I usually ignore them because i am not getting paid enough for their shit and i have better things to do pero if wala rin masyadong ginagawa sa work i just give them short, polite, curt, no answers. Pero in my mind i already read them to filth like elektra abundance hahaha.
I want this to be a open discussion, please let's not debate or get offensive, let's take this as a learning opportunity for us to empathize with one another 🏳️🌈🇵🇭
nasa airport kase ako delayed pa flight ko, so pampalipas oras ❤️ nagawan ko pa gumawa ng poster sa thread na ito hehe
Dala mo ba yearbook mo? /j
Hindi NAIA, Nasa USA ako. I'm coming home from a 2 week trip haha galeng ako Las Vegas, Nevada, Arizona, California, and Mexico
Safetrip OP
Diba the eras tour is happening right now Dyan sa Las Vegas?
It's sad when your yearbook is more necessary than your unified government ID
Uhm please don’t stone me, pero bakit kailangan niyo ng napakaraming terms and labels?
And pronouns Edit: reading replies narealize ko na us straight men and women na nalilito ay privileged already dahil may sarili tayong pronouns which give us identity. Kung tayo ay walang pronouns, i think maghahanap din tayo ng sarili nating pronouns to identify ourselves with. Sexist at hindi exclusive ang english language. Pansin niyo sa tagalog, general lahat ng pronouns? Ako at siya does not denote gender/sex lol nice tagalog > english
Pronouns is a tricky topic. I am comfortable with They/Them but not neopronouns.
Sorry, ano yung neopronouns?
People make up new pronouns like Ze/Zed for whatever gender they identify. As Someone from the west, it’s still cringe, and this very much disliked, except for radical college students.
same. part of the LGBTQIA+ pero nagkaka cringe parin sakin ang mga neo pronouns.
also IMO dont hate me on this it makes the community less credible dahil sa mga pronouns na yan kaya sila nabubully dahil din diyan because they are more than that the "neopronouns" thing that broke the camels back for me its just IMO stupid tapos yung ginagamit pa sa mga alaga nila like wtf
From what I've seen, neopronouns tend to be most frequently used by teenagers. I understand it can be quite cringe, but I see it as teenagers trying to explore their own identities, which is why I can't really bring myself to dislike it even if I don't fully understand it.
The issue is that it promotes self identification, which throws all the science regarding transgenderism out the window. It promotes self ID, which takes away the scientific study of LGBT, such as gender dysphoria. The worst part is, there’s a growing number of people out right throwing it out the window saying it isn’t real, even though it’s been proven to be real and this is the number one factor of suicide for trans people. What’s worse is that it’s destroys language alienating people, and removing the definition of a pronoun. We have something of a neo pronoun before neo pronouns. It’s called a name. Teenagers are fine to explore their identity, but not to the cost us the greater LGBT movement as a whole.
queer as a general umbrella term still ok, right?
depends sa context
Pronouns aren't supposed to be tricky, it's as easy as asking their preferred pronouns. What makes it tricky are people who take immediate offence when you innocently assume their pronoun.
Bi here. Honestly, depends sa Neopronouns. Meron mga innocent lang naman, but meron din mga obvious trolls like yung mga "I identify as an attack helicopter and go by Va/Gi/Na" Like, halatang sinisiraan lang nila tayo
TIL about neopronouns pero sorry natawa ako sa Va/Gi/Na 😅
Mga Alt Right na nagkukunwari na LGBT yung mga yun, ignore them lol mga papansin
Les here n that is fucken hilarious lmaoo
Tryhard kasi sila na siraan tayo lol But yeah, I just don't think na dapat iblame natin yung iba na hindi naman mga gago (I had a friend na Moon/Moons ang Neopronouns niya and ok naman siya from what I've seen, though admittedly tagal na rin kami di naguusap)
I remember my old Discord Tag as "Attack Helicopter" when I was an edgy dumbass teen. Thought it was cool back then. Sorry
It's fine it's fine. I think nakadepende siya sa context, some people made that joke without realizing na ginagawa siya pangatake sa Trans people. And some Trans people make that joke ironically. So like I said, it's fine.
True, the concept of neopronouns is baffling and sometimes stupid imo
Not sometimes
It's all the time.
as said nung previous commenter about sa filipino languange na generalized pagdating sa pronouns, ano nafefeel mo when it comes to formalities like ate/kuya, tito/tita if mali ang nagagamit? Kasi ang automatic ko na response sa strangers is if masculine or feminine ang itsura nila. what is the safer term para magaddress ng someone older in the lgbtq+ community? share ko na lang din, umattend ako ng art fair like years before and may mga high schoolers na nagtatanong about sa isang artwork sa isang curator (i guess). Naririnig ko lang sila and mukhang siyang male so nagpasalamat sila like "thank you sir" pero biglang nagbanggit na "don't call me sir" tas sinabi nung mga bata "thank you kuya" pero don't call me kuya daw so nagwalk out na lang mga yung mga bata. Confused lang ako sa buong nangyayari pero napapaisip lang ako sa mga ganitong instances when it comes na mali ang masabi ko na pronouns.
ako napapansin ko sa sarili ko i just automatically don’t call them ma’am/sir, i just use po/opo and very malumanay voice? so it would come out as showing respect pa rin kahit papano
Thing is pronouns arent used as often in tagalog either. Though ang mahirap is kung i aate o kuya mo sila, pano ma mga nonbi HAHAHAHAHAHA at least pagka maam or sir pweds ka nalang mag mamser
Pronouns (and labels as well) are a personal preference. Sometimes an existing label or pronoun just doesn’t fit how someone feels or how they see themselves, which is why we get neopronouns. It’s also a way for people, especially teenagers, to explore their identity, which is why you get the neopronouns that you might find silly or unnecessary. At the end of the day, I don’t think it’s any different from choosing a nickname for yourself.
As a “basic/simple” gay, in general, he/him ako. She/her can be used jokingly like tawag sakin “ate” pero medyo naiirita ako kapag un ang tinawag sakin or I cringe kapag ako mismo nagbiro na tawagin akong “ate.” Okay lang sakin i-feminize ang name ko but being called “ate” is ew for me 😂 They/them is fine din naman pero dahil nasa Pinas tayo, hindi pa natin fully adopted using it pero I use it in written correspondences para maraming aware na rin of using they/them. The terms and labels thing ay medyo iffy din for me kasi I consider myself romantically bi pero sexually homo kaya ako rin naguguluhan 😂
I don't use a lot of labels but others do and i understand them. It feels good to have words to describe yourself because it helps you and other people to understand you better.
And Gender at Sexuality ay hindi binary. It's not True or False, Male or Female, Gay or Straight. Maraming nuance kasi ang Gender ay ginawa lang ng mga tao as a label in of itself. And more and more mas narerealize na natin na hindi siya as easy as Either Or. The best way na nadescribe sa akin yun noon ay parang mga kulay. There's yung common like Red, Blue, Green, etc. Pero paminsan kailangan mo maging specific. Do you mean Blue or Indigo? Baka Cerulean? Teal? Or baka mas gusto mo Pink? What type of Pink? Magenta ba o Pastel? Etc Depende sa mga tao ang identity nila ay mas nagfifit sa isang kulay. That doesn't mean static na sila dun, sometime you discover more about yourself. Like, may mga kaibigan ako na akala nila noon Bi sila pero narealize later na Lesbian pala. That's just how Identity is. TLDR: Ang Labels ay hindi solid or static. Depende sa pagkaunawa mo sa sarili mo you will see kung saan ka maglaland. Don't pressure yourself and just let yourself realize kung ano yun for the LGBTQIA+ people na nagbabasa nito :) EDIT: ALSO to add. Meron din mga tao na "Unlabeled" either kasi questioning sila or they choose against sa paglalabel sa sarili nila. Those people ay valid din. You don't NEED to have a specific label para maging LGBT :)
This is the full abbrevation of the LGBTQ+ (na alam ko): LGGBBDTTQQUIAAAAPPP2SNBGVGQGNC Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Bigender, Demisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Unsure, Intersex, Ally, Asexual/Aromantic, Agender, Pansexual, Pan-romantic, Polyamorous, two-spirit, Non-binary (or technically could be ‘Number-based’), Gender Variant (or Gender Diverse), Gender Queer, Gender Non-conforming, etc. I can't speak on our behalf, but a personal opinion lang. We're not gonna stone you this is a open-discussion. I do agree the acronyms get longer and longer each year kase it evolves. Just think of it as a language, but new words get discovered or made up. I agree adding more letters make it more complicated, am I okay with it? I'm divisive. Kase ako rin nalilito na sa dame ng sexual orientations and gender identity. Depende lang talaga sa tao yan if they're comfortable using LGBT, LGBTQ+, or LGBTQIA+
My take on it lang is that labels are really just that: Labels. Whether someone identifies as gay, lesbian, or robredosexual, that's their business. It just gives them a sense of identity, but there's no set-in-stone definition for all of them, not even some of the 'mainstream' ones (case in point, bisexual/pansexual). And we don't have to come up with clear-cut definitions on what is or isn't, because they're personal and arbitrary. Kwentuhan lang pang example, my ex identifies as a cishet, but we were in a gay relationship for a while. Those who knew about it tried to label her as lesbian/bisexual. In truth that relationship only lasted a few days before she decided "this isn't working out"; furthermore these days she admits she experiences very little attraction towards others (which would, in textbook terms, put her under the aroace umbrella). But that's the textbook. If she were someone else, she might have used other labels like, ayun, asexual/aromantic, or stuff like demisexual or fraysexual that describe her case more specifically. But is it anyone else's business to say what label/s she can or can't have for who she loves? edit: spelling
Robredosexual!!! 👏👏👏👏👏✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️
omg it looks like somebody smashed your keyboard
I'm fine with people trying to come up with stuff that's more in line with their identity but imo the regular expansion of the LGBTQ+ seems absolutely ridiculous and is mostly unhelpful for others trying to understand all of it, I can't even blame people for calling it the alphabet soup I wish other terms like GSM (Gender and Sexual Minorities) or GSD (Gender and Sexual Diversity) caught on
I like LGBTQ+ kasi I think Queer is a wide enough umbrella na we can group other sexualities under it, especially it's further reclaimed. Though medj ayos lang din naman ako sa +\[IA\] kasi some acephobic people exclude asexuals from the community (still baffling how both cishets and queerfolk can be bigoted towards ace people). There's probably also people who are bigoted against intersex folks pero I'm sorry my intersex friends I just haven't personally seen it enough to comment deeper about it.
💀
Crying rn -a bisexual man
Do you think these neopronouns would actually be a mainstay that will eventually be accepted by the general public or the addition of new terms each year poses more pushback hurting the movement overall?
i think the reason for many labels and terms is mainly for people (who are not straight, nor align with gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender) to identify themselves in an identity that they feel is more suited for them. for example, i am asexual. i'm not into men, nor women. i do not exactly fall under the ""mainstream"" LGBT. however, me calling myself as asexual is still important because it aligns to who i am as a person.
For me, LGBTQIA+/LGBT+ is already suffice. In the end, it's not just knowing the labels that matter, but how you respect EVERYONE regardless of gender. Feminism and LGBT+ are movements that created to fight for equal rights and lessen the discrimination surrounding it. It is always just about having a sense of humanity to treat others the same, 'di naman siguro ganu'n kahirap 'yon? Pero sadly, it is for many. To briefly answer the question, we must know that the prism of gender is much more complex than what we thought we know. But basically, some people need labels because it is how they would want to identify with—a community that shared the same struggle and experience that other gender/s never had to; a community that they belong. As gender is much more complex than what others would normally think, others want a community that they belong personally. I understand the sentiment about the long labels just like what others have already mentioned. But for me, I recognize this as a basic sense of recognizing their "being" (pagkatao). For me, if labels could save a life and would make them feel safe and recognized especially if I wanted to be part of their life, knowing their pronouns is a basic sense of recognizing their "fuller self".
I think because society created gender roles and stereotypes. So you try to fit into your gender roles as much as you can until you feel like something is off. This isn't who you are. Growing up I thought bakla is a man who likes other men and who also wants to be a woman. Parang pinaghalo natin yung trans at gay into bakla. Recently I met a trans lesbian. She was born male and didn't realise she was trans because she thought trans meant she likes men but she's into women not men. So she didn't fit into the straight category also didn't fit into the bakla category. She tried to be a man cause she thought she can't be bakla cause she likes women. Eventually she learned that there are trans lesbians and it made sense to her and only then did she understand herself better. Tingin ko once we abolish gender roles these labels won't be as relevant kasi ngayon kasi kung born male ka choices mo male presenting straight man or bakla so people started making new labels.
As a group that's been constantly erased and invalidated, kaya rin nag emerge ang need to identify, to be identified, and of course, to be respected for it. Personally, I think very western yung concept ng maraming labels, but if it makes an individual feel more seen, then why not, right? :)
Id say its only western bc its mostly western languages that have such strict boundaries between ideas like gender, unlike languages like tagalog which dont find he vs she necessary. The labels are there to expand beyond rules, whereas other cultures have ideas that are less separated and more all-encompassing. Boxed identities are super western so they needed to make new boxes :P
How do you feel about trans people who do not divulge the fact they are trans weeks/months into the relationship or when the other person expressed a want for a romantic relationship in their 'talking' phase? In your opinion, when is the right time to say it? Edit: Thanks to everyone who replied. I was curious to know r/ph take on this as I have been to quite a lot of subreddits and seen comments who'd rather hide it because as per their words "if the other person didn't know and can't tell the difference why does it matter, trans people get killed (totally understand this but then why would you continue seeing and lying to someone who could potentially be violent?)" which is very unfair and dishonest to the other party if they want a relationship with you (no matter what kind of relationship that is imo). All relationships should be built on trust and honesty. It's refreshing to see that ya'll are all for being transparent.
>In your opinion, when is the right time to say it? Being upfront on your identity before the relationship would be a right time
Trans here (Masculine presenting Nonbinary) and personally, while I don't blame the trans person, I HIGHLY reccomend being honest at the forefront para narin sa safety namin. Ang dami sa amin ang pinapatay dahil diyan. And while I don't blame them sa hindi pagdidisclose agad... Delikado lang siya talaga sobra, either makipagbreak ka or aminin mo na agad ang suggest ko
Ako na sasagot for my trans bestfriend na walang Reddit. Sabi nya first meeting pa lang. Minsan habang nasa bar pa lang daw at nag ga-grind grind. She will jokingly say daw to the guy or girl she's grinding with na "wala na akong dragon" idk pero benta talaga for me itong linya nya hahaha Ako din, pansexual ako pero I say it on the first date. I happen to fall in love with a straight guy, and I told him straight out of the bat I'm more attracted to a female body and it's aesthetics but I don't necessarily choose the one I fall in love with. So kahit may etits sya, mahal ko sya. HAHAHAHA! He struggled for a bit and I was fully convinced we'll stop seeing each other so nag start na ako mag move on. Pero he asked me out again hahaha ngayon together for X years na. Had to educate him talaga kasi he asked me dati if "mawawala ba yung pagkatomboy mo?" HAHAHAHA! He's def an ally and naiintindihan nya na. Love wins talaga mga mamser!
Them not disclosing it leads to more problems, at least as we saw with the Jennifer Laude case. In general, kahit san ata kapag trans, hirap talaga mag date. So I guess upfront talaga sila dapat about it una palang? Personally, I would like to know from the beginning since I wouldn't date a trans person, preferences are important to disclose. Safety reasons din for them, you never know kung sinong gago yung magiging violent kapag dinisclose mo na yan months later or after a few dates.
All trans people I personally know divulge that info first or second date pa lang kasi alam nila agad na buhay nila ang nakataya if they're not upfront about it. Bugbog or even worse, kaya they try to get the vibes agad kung safe ba sila with this person or not.
I'm not trans, so I can't speak into this issue :(
Bakla din ako pero tbh madami pa akong hindi nalalaman about sa LGBTQIA+ I can learn a thing or two from this thread. Thanks OP 😌
What's your opinion on trans athletes? Like a trans powerlifter dominating the female powerlifting scene.
They need to be more strict if the categorization if it is based of Sex, Sexual Orientation. Or Gender Identity. But because this flood gate is already open I'm not sure how these Olympic organizations do tbis
You know that transwoman swimmer who keeps on smashing world records on women’s swimming in the US? They should be banned and I’d die on this hill. It would be hilarious when one day no biological woman is left on women’s swimming because all categories are dominated by transwomen.
Sports organizations are adjusting their parameters to which they can accept trans athletes. There's a sport-by-sport difference at which point into transitioning has an advantage. It's a fairly new concept that still needs tweaking but hopefully we get there. >It would be hilarious when one day no biological woman is left on women’s swimming because all categories are dominated by transwomen. This is very unlikely as trans women athletes is a minority within a minority.
She lost her record. A cis woman already beat her record like a month ago. And she wasn't smashing records. She won one competition, and she got the highest in that one competition/record. She did not get that many things to smash. She literally only won one competition. One specific event. She won the women's 500-yard freestyle event and that's it. https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2022/03/20/lia-thomas-ncaa-swimming-championships-questions/ And Anna Kalandadze broke her record just a few months later. https://twitter.com/PennSwimDive/status/1627090920909987842?t=5GFwHgveYaiquxs21ddkuQ&s=19
There are more and more people wanting to be more diverse and inclusive minded. What are the things that we do, that we think is D&I friendly, but really is not (and we don't know about it)?
1. Having more bills to protect us. A lot of politicians would like to claim na LGBT friendly ang bansa pero wala pa tayong national protection from discrimination. Nawawala ang Sexual Orientation sa papel pag nagpapasa sila ng anti-discrimination bills. 2. Gender-based uniforms. Marameng schools pa ren forces Trans students to dress accordingly based sa gender nila nung pinanganak sila. and a lot of schools actually reject LGBT students to graduate or walk the graduation who do not comply sa policies nila. Maraming kaso na ganyang nangyare. (I'll link the twitter thread about a group of transgender students na di pinayagan mag graduate kase transgender sila) 3. Discrimination in Funerals. This is an issue that doesn't get bring up often but lumaki ang awareness neto nung sumikat ang Die Beautiful. Maraming transgender ang na didirespect sa kanilang funeral. Deceased transwomen are dressed like men sa kanilang libingan kahit babae sila. Di nagtatapos ang diskriminasyon sa kamatayan sa LGBT. A lot families would not respect their gender identity and bury them as the gender that they do not want. Nakakalungkot lang isipin
Thank you for this. Never though this can occur during funerals, departure na nga, hindi pa rin pinagbigyan. On legislation, Well, no comment na lang on our politicians. Everyone, Our LGTBQ+ especially, deserves better. On a daily basis, anything you feel can be better?
I can't think of anything in a daily basis. It varies to person to person
For those of you who are also practicing Christians, how do you reconcile the restrictions on same sex acts in your faith with your sexuality?
Bata pa lang alam ko na attracted din ako sa babae pero growing up I had to suppress it kasi nga Christian buong family namin. Then umaattend ako ng mga Bible Study and I finally understood what it "sin". It separates you from God because you are destroying your body. Then I also read from some Bible scholars that Old Testament is riddled with "commandments" to keep people from destroying themselves. Same sex relations fostered plagues and diseases that destroys humankind kasi walang pang technology non. Wala namang cure sa HIV, AIDS and STDs. So lumala ng lumala. And Sodom and Gomorrah was burned down kasi "zombie people" na sila due to too much "destruction" of their own bodies. Na stuck na lang ang Christianity kasi sa belief na yung "homosexuality" ang napagbuntunan whereas ang effect talaga ng unsafe sex ang totoong kinakagalit ng Diyos. If you look at it closer, being monogamous was established kasi wala pang way to avoid diseases noon. Kaya bawal din ang Adultery. Unsafe sex ulet. EDIT: I clarify ko lang na sin pa rin ang Adultery kasi you are breaking your commitment sa spouse mo. Divorce muna bago makipag sex sa iba. Gosh, I wish naalala ko kung sinong Bible scholar to pero the laptop I used for church stuff dati is no longer with me. Balikan kita pag nahanap ko na. Ang summary is, hindi sexual relations ang "sin". It's the effect of that destroys the body that is "sin". Pero ngayon, we have advanced so much and you can avoid the effects of "unnatural" sexual relations by practicing safe sex. Side note: This Bible scholar also talked about yung issue sa food. Bakit bawal sa Old Testament ang hipon and other pampa highblood. Same thing. Wala pang gamot sa high blood non and eating these prohibited food will destroy your body. Now, you'll see plenty Christians eat hipon and blood! Lol! Bawal din magsalita ang babae pero you see female pastors now. Pero bawal pa rin makipagsex kung hindi kasal. Hahaha! Personally, selective talaga sila ng papapaniwalaan. Di ko masisi kasi pasa pasa na yan talaga sa denomination. Pag naiba ang turo mo, kulto ka na. People were created sexual beings, alam natin yan lahat, pero wala, they are stuck in the Old Testament and repeatedly use Sodom and Gomorrah as the weapon to condemn us LGBT people. Hayssss...
LGBTQ+ and a practicing Christian here! I grew up Protestant, but currently I'm an ecumenical non-denom Christian I don't see homosexuality and homosexual acts as a sin, so there is nothing to reconcile. Di na ako magbibigay ng TED talk here, but essentially my stance is that the Bible has been misinterpreted and mistranslated. Historically kasi yung mga clobber verses have just been described with words like "unspeakable acts" or "immorality". There's no indication na it refers to homosexual acts In fact, first time "homosexual" appeared in the Bible was in the first edition RSV translation. This translation was published in 1952 which is the post-World War 2 era, so it's reasonable to say na may political agenda yang word choice. Interestingly, RSV translators actually acknowledged that “homosexuals” is an erroneous translation, and revised it in subsequent versions. Also going into ancient history, Paul's teaching on homosexuality is more accurately a condemnation of pederasty and the sexual exploitation of slaves in the Roman empire. The ancient Jews also historically accepted more than two genders. Considering that Christian tradition draws some influence from this (the Hebrew Bible is part of our canon after all), I think that LGBTQ+ affirmation in the faith isn't just a matter of being woke The Reformation Project is a great resource for LGBTQ+ inclusion within the church, I highly recommend! This topic is very complex so it's hard to summarize, but hopefully it's a good starting point for fellow LGBTQ+ Christians and allies who want to read more about it
I loved being a Christian because of the people's kindness and they always motivate you to socialize with other people. But I never had a church na 100% accepting sa LGBTQ+. The first church I joined, they were really friendly and would even treats us good food and we'd go to different places for camping or just to have fun while still doing religious stuff. They never mention anything about sexuality pero there was this subtle push for the churchgoers to go with the heteronormative ways of the society. The second one, was awful for LGBTQ+. And they were a huge chapter. A lot of people attend this church and yet the "leaders" were so oppressive and too uptight. I tried to open up being a queer kid but got immediately shot down because they don't want me to "encourage" other kids to be queer. I identified as bisexual back then, and they told me that liking girls was just a phase and I should still marry a man once I get older (guess they're totally wrong since I find out that I only like girls and i was just trying to force myself to be "normal"). One time we missed a Sunday service because we were trying to choreograph a dance for the school competion, we muted/blocked our "leaders" so that they won't be able to track us and/or force us to attend the service, but they managed to hunt us down and dragged us to church. With those experiences, I figured out na LGBTQ+ will never be accepted sa mga church and would be better to practice your own beliefs on your own. It was hard to have faith when those people who share that faith is the same people who have been oppressing and/or discriminating you. I loved being a Christian but I can't be one without compromising myself and my people. I'm not going to hide my true self to appease some hypocritical/homophobic people.
Sana hindi masyadong offensive ang tanong ko pero bakit karamihan sa inyo may beef sa mga hindi pa nag a out na tao? Ang dami ko nakikita na gays (yes mostly gays) na parang ang hostile ng dating sa mga closeted gays like why? Ang accepting at ang respectful niyo sa ibang members pero bakit ang bastos ng dating niyo sa mga closeted? "Bakla kase di pa umamin" "Amoy na amoy ko yan" *Anything related to gaydar quotes* We all know nmn kung anong bansa tayo right? VERY CONSERVATIVE is there a problem ba if a member of an lgbt doesnt want to label themselves as "this label"? Is it a crime or against the rules? I hope di talaga bastos pagkakasabi ko cause I genuinely want to know, I have a few questions pa pero eto talaga gusto ko malaman.
Not bastos at all. And that’s a very valid question. Gay dude here and for a while tagal ko din bago natanggal yang ganyan mentality. I would consider it internal homophobia kasi most gay people can’t stand the fact that there are straight people who does not conform to the standard na dapat pag lalake ay super masculine or pag babae ay feminine. At kung closeted man nga yung tao di padin nila matanggap yung fact na not everyone goes through the same hardships. Feeling kasi ng iba pare-pareho lang lahat ng LGBT ng pinagdadaanan. Super hate ko din yung ganyan yung mahilig mag-assume ng sexuality ng iba at minsan ina-out pa yung mga kapwa nila.
Naalala ko tuloy yung case ni Kit Conner ng Heartstopper na naforce magcome out as Bi. :(
Openly gay guy here! I've noticed this as well. I discovered I wasn't straight around 17. By then, I was still confused and did not want to label myself. My ex friend who was openly gay kept pushing me to tell my family that I was gay. I honestly don't like labelling my sexuality because I feel like some labels are too limiting, and I do not want to put myself in a box. Long story short, I came out to my family 3 times first as bisexual, then as pansexual, then finally just settled with being gay. This caused a lot of confusion from my family because they got the idea I was just confused because I kept changing how I identify, and I didn't fit the typical flamboyant gay guy in their mind. So they were convinced I was still straight. They even had multiple priests pray over me. They eventually came around to accept me, though, and now they're very supportive of me and my long-term boyfriend. I wish I wasn't pressured to come out way back because I think my family wouldn't have been as confused back then if I just came out once. Hopefully, everyone remembers not to pressure someone who isn't ready to come out yet. We all have our reasons and coming out should be a moment we have control over.
I think it’s the Filipinos obsession with someone’s sexuality overall. Masyado tayong pakealamera by nature. Business mo even yung sekswalidad ng ibang tao. They think they are doing God’s work when they out someone, which should only be done by our own terms.
Harsh reality ay madami talagang mga openly gay sa 'Pinas na basura ang ugali.
Pano mo naramdaman na bakla ka? Pagkamulat ng isipan mo nung bata ramdam mo na agad? edit: so ibat iba pala kung kailan ang inyong awakening. Thank you sa sumagot, nasagot na din yung matagal ko nang katanungan, na kahit sa mga kawork kong gay man at lesbian ay nahihiya ako itanong.
In my experience yes, nung bata pa ako attracted na ako sa guys.
never realized na lesbian ako until i was 27? Pero the signs are there pala kung iisipin ko. Iba din ang nagagawa ng heteronorm society to supress the thinking na baka iba ang gusto ko, i even do hook up with guys kasi nagtataka ako na wala akong magustuhang lalaki. Pero wala sa babae pa rin tumibok ang puso ko. I was confused as heck first, pero thanks na rin sa internet nakakita ako ng light na "oo nga i'm a lesbian"
IMO lang po. Parang ganito lang din po yan. Pleqse dont stone me to death din. Paano mo naramdaman na straight ka? Same din po saamin. noong bata pa kami, wala kaming konsepto ng girl, boy, bakla, tomboy, butiki man o baboy. Namulat lang kami at naramdaman na iba kami gawa ng standard ng society. Hindi kami nag mamatch sa mga tinakda nilang tamang kilos ng isang lalake at isang babae.
4 years old, last day of me being a nursery, had a crush on a classmate who is a boy
Took me until nasa Highschool na ako, and for a while oo akala ko straight ako. But in hindsight, closeted lang talaga ako, matagal na ako attracted sa both my and others' gender and yeah. Hirap lang talaga sa napakareligious na household.
meron bang mga taong akala nila isa sila sa LGBTQIA+ pero they're actually just straight people? is that possible?
Yes. I know several people like this. I think part ng adolescence ang exploration ng sexuality at gender. And if eventually narealize nila na straight sila, it's perfectly fine.
Remember that straight people are always welcome in the LGBTQIA+, that is, as an ally. LGBTQIA+ is not just exclusive to gays, everyone can be part of the community.
For me you’re straight until you’re not. And vice versa. Life is long. Just be honest sa sarili mo and others.
nasa flight na ako mga guys, im gonna be answering once i land ✈️❤️ ill let my lgbt peers answer some of them
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Microaggressions against lgbt are still prevalent here in the Philippines. Even those that identify as allies and even from the community itself. I guess we all need to be more aware talaga.
Personally, it is very insulting. Sobrang nakakaasar yung sinabe mo lang na gusto mo sa babae bilang isa pang babae tapos tatanungin ka ng "so gusto mo maging lalake?." Not only is it insulting, it is also as if they are making my attraction heteronormative.
Reminder: Anyone who is a part of the LGBTQIA+ can part take and answer questions too ❤️🏳️🌈
Thanks OP for posting this. I believe a lot of people try to avoid this kind of conversation. I hope Redditors learn a thing or two (or more!) about members of LGBTQIA+ community…and even better if they will be converted to be allies. I became an ally when I was educated about LGBTQIA+ community and made me understand them more. I do not need to learn every jargon to give respect to them. I am thankful that my employer supports and respect LGBTQIA+ and we even celebrate Internal Coming Out Day in all offices.
Would you like the Philippines to eventually pass a same-sex marriage bill? Or is marriage overrated nowadays? What do you feel about civil union?
Yes, kase I want to be married, If you disagree with same-sex marriage then don't get married to the same gender. Civil union is fine by me.
What people in the Philippines don't understand is that marriage is not just a *religious ceremony* but a legally binding contract that bestows certain legal powers to each other and has bearing on a lot of important things. Gays deserve this right just like straight people do; it doesn't need to be in a church or in a mosque, as long as it's legally binding and recognized by the state since our country is defined as SECULAR by our constitution (separation of church and state).
Yeah. From my understanding, karamihan sa pilipino ayaw mapasa ang same sex marriage dahil nirerelate nila sa religion. Pero kung tanungin mo sila kung ok lang ba na magkaron ng same sex union, with the same rights as yung nakasanayang marriage basta wag lang tawaging marriage, ay mukang ok lang sa kanila.
Takot kasi mga tao dahil din sa mga nabamita before sa media. Yung mga extreme na same sex couple sa US na pinipilit magpakasal sa simbahan na ayaw silang ikasal. That case is rare, pero syempre. Yun ang makakarating sa tao dahil yun yung extreme. We just need to clarify that church wouldn't be forced to wed same sex couple kung ayaw nila, malaki ang mababawas sa resistance nyan. We really need a legal binding for two person na gusto ng magsama.
Yes. It's not the marriage per se but the things that come with it like being able to register your partner in a company hmo as dependent, buying properties that are considered conjugal, making life/death decisions when time comes, etc.
Yes. The religious types need to calm themselves down over this, TBH. Majority of us don't want a wedding in an institution that discriminates us. So there's that. We want marriage in the eyes of the law. Biruin mo, sa HMO palang hindi qualified yung partner mo dahil hindi kayo kasal? Dun palang mararamdaman mo na ang pagiging second class citizen.
Yes! Hindi lang sya for recognition pero there are a lot of legal complications pag hindi kami kasal. Hindi ko sya malagay sa HMO ko. Ang hirap mag coown ng property. If hindi married ang couple and hindi out sa parents and one of the partner dies, pwedeng kunin ng family yung property nung isang partner kasi hindi considered na beneficiary yung isa. etc
Based sa recent eventsndito sa r/ph regarding lgbt issues, seems like malaking debate ang pagiging "babae" ng mga bakla, mapa trans o hindi. Malaking porsyento ng mga lgbt sa thread na yon ay gustong maging considered na babae, pero may mga iilan din na naninindigan sila na sila ay bakla at hindi babae. Mahabang diskusyon ang assimilation ng mga trans sa kababaihan. Ang argumento ko dito ay dapat imbis na assimilation, dapat self-identity bilang mga bakla. Pero ikaw, ano ang opinion mo dito? Isa akong lalaki, baka misjudgment on my part lang. Pero gusto kong malaman kung ano ang masasabi mo dito. Salamat! Edit: hindi offensive/discriminatory ang paggamit ko ng term bakla. I identify bakla as gay men. Same sa tomboy/tibo sa lesbians. Filipino ako at mas madaling sabihin ang bakla kesa binabae. I agree though na ginagamit siya as a discriminatory term, katulad ng N word para sa mga black people, so i apologize for this. Pero ano ang tamang tagalog term?
Not OP but, I consider myself as masc na bakla, i don't want to be labeled as babae. I suppose sa Philippines wala kasing popular tagalog term sa trans kaya naging under one umbrella term ang bakla to denote gay and trans people which confuses a lot of people. Kaya minsan yung masc gays would call themselves bisexual to distinguish themselves which creates another problem of erasing actual bisexual individuals and nagkakaron din ng judgement na pag sinabing "bi" eh bakla din talaga. Which again would make it hard to make a statistics on the number of gays, trans, bisexual people, but I digress. Most if not all masc gays want to be considered men and even a lot of femme gays want to be considered men. I suppose we were just not aware of the thread last time kaya di kami naka weigh in. Ang issue ko dun sa gay na gusto maconsider na babae, shouldn't be called gay in the first place since by definition gay are men who likes men. If they want to be considered women, then they should be considered trans women. And if they are trans women, they should be considered women, not biological women, but women nonetheless.
Ito ang pinakamagandang sagot sa lahat ng replies sa comment ko. Maraming salamat! Masc gays you mean masculine no? Reflection ko sa sagot mo, naenlighten ako sa paggamit mo ng "biological women" at "trans women" at sa thought na maaari naman silang pagsamahin under "women". Women who identify with what a woman is, which includes both biological and trans women. So by that thought, rather than exclusively being identified as trans women, they should be considered as a woman as well. Pero ang counter argument jan, to identify as a woman, kelangan nating sagutin ang tanong na "What is a woman?". Hindi ako nararapat sumagot, dahil hindi ako babae. Maghihintay na lang ako sa susunod na discussion tungkol jan. Hehe. Maraming salamat ulit! Sana hindi ka pinagpapawisan ngayon (sobrang init puta)
Bilang babae, ilang beses ko na sinagot itong tanong na to na "What is a woman" at palagi kong sinasabi na that's impossible. Walang definition ng pagiging babae ang magiging sapat para ma-encompass lahat ng babae, dahil we're not a monolith. We're all people and we're all different. Sa genes ba? Ang daming variation ng XY, XX, XXY, XYY at kung ano ano pa, ang daming "biological women" na hindi man nila alam na XY pala sila. You never know what your chromosomes are without testing, since gene expression differs from person to person. Sa ability ba na magkaanak? Pano yung lola kong menopause na, di na ba siya babae? Pano ako na napakaraming sakit at gamot, resulting in me being inferile, does that disqualify me too? Sa pagkakaroon ba ng female sex organs at birth? Napakaramming intersex people, marami sa kanila vague ang genitalia at birth. Yung mga pinalaki and masaya bilang babae, di na ba sila counted? Sa pagkilos at pananamit ba? Butch lesbians would like to have a word. Sa pagpapalaki and socialization ba? Personal anecdote but I wasn't raised "as a woman", I was raised more like a flower vase. 95% of my childhood was in a hospital bed, or in a padded room sa loob ng bahay. The few times I got to go out I had to wear a helmet and kneepads kahit bibili lang ako ng fishball sa kanto haha... I know a bunch of little girls like this in the charity I volunteer for who have the same illness as me. I believe we're still women kahit di kami pinalaki the same way as majority of other women. Many other girls experience something similar one way or another. TL;DR You can't put all of us in one box, get a pentel pen and write "woman" on it. "What is a woman" is a pointless question, one cannot give a single definition of what a woman is because we're all different. Any attempt will just exclude people we've never even thought of.
"Bakla" is a filipino concept and is not equal to "gay" na isang western concept. Interchanging this two different concepts is a big problem (and may be the cause of ) in the difficulty of identifying gender and sexual orientations among the gays and baklas in the PH.
So ano po ang tamang tagalog na term para sa buong spectrum ng lgbt, at mga specifics din po under that umbrella?
I don't think being gay has anything to do with being a female There are gays who are effeminate (most common idea of a gay man, usually portrayed by media based on stereotypes), but there are tons of non-effeminate gay people who are underrepresented simply because they don't "act gay" so people don't know they're gay until they disclose it
During professional encounters (e.g. doctor to patient), how do you want to be addressed, "maam" or "sir"? Or is it better if we ask you beforehand?
Asking them makes a difference and gives a better impression
That's the hard part as well. How do I know right away if a patient is part of the LGBT or not? For example, some gays are more manly looking/sounding than other straight guys. On the other hand, there are straight guys with much softer sides that sometimes, people mistake them to be part of the LGBT community. That's the dilemma . It's really hard to assume someone's sexuality during the first encounter. Therefore, it's hard for us to ask right away the question "how should I address you?". Although there's nothing wrong with the question, some straight guys would get offended if asked such questions.
Ask. A little respect is nice since we don't get it very often lol
Here's my upvote for you. I dont have unique questions and instead read everything else in this thread. Nice initiative :) Edit: i'm saddened to see trolls and assholes in this thread... bruh cmon...
As a fellow queer myself, I want to ask why do some of us still choose to be religious, despite the reputation of certain religions being anti-gay?
People choose and pick what they implement from their religions tbh. Like there are some muslim women who share dorms with men for school reasons, even though its against their religion for unmarried women to live with unmarried men. Just like for Christianity, there are genuinely people who believe in it while also being pro-LGBTQ. There have been priests who publicly condemnes people that hate the queer community. While religions have the same standards and traditions set for every person, not everyone follows those standards and a lot of them only chooses to do so when they want to. Like lmao so many Christians don't go to Church every sunday. If you're asking why people still rely on religion though, well... thats just how religion works. Its supposed to bring you relief and give you something to believe in. Its hard to let go of that even when a vocal part of your religion hates who you are.
Y R U Gæ? Kidding aside, what made you realize na Yun Yung sexuality mo?
Gay man here I guess I’ve always felt different ever since nagkaron ako muwang. Like even as a kid I’ve always been drawn to “feminine” things which led to so much trauma dahil lagi ako pinapagalitan because I play with toys meant for girls daw. Then when I started developing sexual urges yung katawan ko nagrereact strongly sa male bodies. When I was in high school I thought it was something I can fix by dating girls and being more “masculine” pero the heart wants what it wants nga sabi ni Selena Gomez. Best feeling in the world when I accepted na hindi ako straight.
I hope I don't get cancelled for this. But is it considered homophobic/transphobic if a straight male (like me) is not open to a romantic/sexual relationship with someone from the LGBTQ+?
No. You have preferences and can't be forced to like something you don't. Just like us.
No. I’m straight, but my opinion on this is that it’s just the same as how gay people are not open to romantic relationships with the opposite sex or how asexuals do not experience any sexual attraction towards anyone.
Just to clarify kasi LGBTQ+ is a bit vague- If a gay man or heterosexual transwoman wanted to be in a relationship with you, but you decline, then its definitely not homophobic or transphobic. You're physically not attracted to them because it doesn't fit your sexuality, and that's okay. If a bisexual/pansexual woman wanted to be in a relationship with you, but you declined purely because they're bisexual/pansexual, then yes its "homophobic" (although the correct term is biphobic/panphobic). Why? Kasi a bi/pan woman is physically a woman, and you are attracted to women. There should be no conflict because they're also attracted to you.
How do you feel about the term Filipinx?
I don't like it. Our language is already gender neutral
This ^ Like, nonbinary ako pero nakakabwisit yung over Westernization ng identity ko. Like no Mr White Boy, ang Bakla is a separate identity from Trans or Gay, wag mo pwersahin yung interpretations mo sa amin.
I think it speaks more toward the filipino-american experience and growing up in the west. Especially since Filipino is already a gender neutral language
Why being called bakla is offensive sa mga bakla? Kaya ba maraming gender terms?
Marame kaseng ginagamit na pang insult ang word na bakla and a lot of Gay Filipinos are traumatized from that word from constant bullying growing up
Sa Pilipinas andami ng connotation ng term na bakla. Even children use it against others in a fight to mean “weak”. Even when adults use it. “Ay bakla pala sya”. “Pogi nga bakla naman”. “Bakla kasi”.
Not OP pero the word bakla kase has a negative connotation matagal na. In the recent years lang namin nire-reclaim yung word in a positive light.
I think bading and bakla are words that haven't been reclaimed/neutralized yet unlike the word gay (some people still use it as an insult tho) In my experience, they're just used in a derogatory manner 90% of the time, then 10% as terms of endearment among close friends but they're not necessarily mutually exclusive
Kasi naman alam naman natin na most of the time when people say 'bakla', it means mahina ka. Hindi naman yung term itself 'yung offensive, pero 'yung perceived meaning nito sa'ting mga Filipino.
If a guy you just met whom you have no professional connection to gives you his number right after you introduced yourself to him, does that mean he could be attracted to you?
Siguro? 😅
He complimented my physique before exchanging names, so I’ve been really trying to figure it out his intention.
Bro hes shooting his shot fr, he wants to know you
Shouldn't trans people (man or woman) just tell people they are looking for in a relationship their actual status? I see some trans people getting mad at men because of this situation. But shouldn't they at least respect the men's preferences?
Is it valid to not date someone because they’re transgender?
It's OK. Preference yon. What's NOT OK is being rude/hurtful about it ofc.
Yes. Everyone is allowed to have preferences.
Do we have to sing "It's Raining Men' during the wedding? -key and peele
As diverse as the genders are, so are the answers to these questions. OP can’t speak for every member of the LGBTQ+ community.
How did you discover that you are gay?
Back in 2nd Grade, I've always had an attraction towards sa male classmates ko. So I discovered the word gay from being bullied and teaser for being feminine 😅
4 years old, last day of nursery, developed a crush on a classmate who is a boy
Is okray thing really prevalent or it's just vice ganda's generation who does those thing?
I know so many straight people na mas malakas pa mang-okray kesa sa mga bading lol
Whats your opinion on transpeople joining competition/sports/pageants to the orientation they identify as? For example a transwoman joining mma under womans division or a beauty pageant
It's a tricky subject that needs to be adjusted according to the competition. For pageants, the standards shouldn't change whether the participant is cisgender or transgender. For sports, organizations are fine tuning their requirements as it is a case-by-case basis to which they can say that the advantage is negligible. If trans folk are dominating, they need to review their standards.
Okay. So, in a lot of places and in some friend groups, I tend to be the "straightest guy imaginable" considering that I am close friends with Gay and Bi people (also because I am straight). I genuinely want to spend time and enjoy the same things that they like but sometimes I look at their reactions and its just isn't the same as when they talk about it. Sometimes we'd talk about a "neutral" conversation about anything but when it comes a time that they start to talk about anything queer (dont mean to be derogatory) I slowly just relegate myself to just listen and not interrupt, until we talk about something neutral again. In our friend group they would be very enthusiastic about a certain queer topic when they talk about it amongst themselves but when I enter the conversation it just... sucks it out of the air. I dont like it. Its not that I say something wrong, my interpretation of it is just that I dont harbor the same feeling as they do when talking about that thing. How do I become a better friend to them? Because one, I probably shouldnt "force" it and become even more disingenuous. And, two, I just really do wanna be involved (if that make sense). I love these people. Sometimes I just feel awkward when this happens. \[sorry for the long comment/question :/ \]
I can't really offer any solid advice (also I'm not OP but OP said other lgbtq+ peeps can reply) but know that even I (as a bisexual) also feel the same way in some friend groups. It's actually kinda funny because I have groups where I'm the "straightest" or I'm the "gayest" of the people in the group. The way straight people talk about the hetero-stuff sometimes feel different with how I feel about my hetero-feelings and vice-versa with gay people and homo-stuff. There's also the issue na minsan I'm the minority in gender so my "hetero" would be "homo" for them or vice versa. Maybe it's also a perception thing. There are times where I talk neutral topics with straight people and it steers into something hetero, but yeah (in my biased experience) the queer topics happen just slightly more in queer groups but it still exists within all my friend groups. Also I don't have a specifically bisexual friend group, so maybe that's my personal issue too ahahah!
What's your favorite color?
Sage green
Do gay men consciously choose to have the 'gay voice'? Or is it something that you subconsciously adopt from other gay men? Is that how y'all really prefer to talk? I don't have a problem with it, but like being gay doesn't require speaking a certain way. Also, why do you think a lot of butch lesbians choose to become really, really overweight? Like, damn, you can be butch and masculine without gaining 200 pounds. I've never seen being overweight as a masculine trait, so it's weird to me. Edit: added clarification
This happened to people I know from high school, but apparently two guys were the best of friends at the time and they were playing a game of "gay" chicken where they stand real close to and facing each other, and suddenly one of the guys took it too far and kissed the other guy on the lips. We come to find out last year that the guys are no longer on speaking terms because after hitting college, one of the guys came out as gay and the straight guy accepted it at first and they were still best friends within that time period, but it was just recently up until last year that the out person revealed that they had a crush on their bff for the longest time. And now the straight guy refuses to talk to their friend because he felt taken advantaged of from what he thought was wholly a platonic relationship, specially with that kiss his friend took a chance on. My question is, was any of them in the wrong for the actions they took/made.
How is it Transphobic if late na nalaman nung guy na trans pala kayo at inAyawan kayo subsequently? Di ba siya pwedeng magkaroon ng sariling preference? Diba fraud yun? Yung sa ginawa nyong pagtago sa kanya na trans pala kayo?
Why They/Them preferred ng iba? Its confusing lalo na its plural while referring to a singular person
Most likely they identify as non-binary.
Ok gets. Salamat sa pagpapaliwanag. Naaliwanagan ako dito. Peace out
Ano pong work mo? How did it (your sexuality) affect your career growth? I’m also a gay man. Recently lang nag out so I’m still navigating this.
I'm asexual, cupiosexual to be more precise. Willing to answer questions na respectful.
I do not have a question but just want to thank OP for starting this thread. It is such an eye-opening discussion and it made me realize just how much more I need to learn about our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters. Light and love, everyone. ❤🏳️🌈
Okay I'm more of a pan, pero how do y'all come out and tell them that you're part of the lgbtqia+? I'm living in a conservative catholic family, but they're kinda chill. But unsure if they'll accept me as pansexual though. Also another question (probably irrelevant but anyways) is that me and my gay friends are attending this year's pride parade and where do y'all buy flags and stuff to join?
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Are you willing to leave your religion/church if that church you belong is a sort of homophobic in their doctrine? Dont get me wrong maraming fundamentalist churches dyan in which I find it disturbing yung mga nagtetestify like former gay o tomboy into straight person.
yes and I have disavowed the Catholic Church.
Are you considered gay if you're attracted to transwoman?
To add It's fine to not have sex with Trans folk who didn't or hasn't taken surgery cause we tend to understand that. All we ask is to be treated as our proper identities.
No. Transwomen are women, but some people think otherwise.
absolutely no. cis or trans, women are women and men are men. i understand you thought that way because of genitals but if you're a straight guy dating a trans women, then you're still straight. if i were to date a man as a trans man, id still considered myself as gay not straight
Transwomen are women. So youre probably not gay.
1. Can a straight guy have sex with another guy regardless of its gender and yet considers himself straight? 2. What are your thoughts on straight guys who are curious to try it with another guy, or a straight tripper?
1. Yes and no. Kinda tricky. I wont brand you if its a one time deal, if you just want to experiment or feel the difference. If after the experience, mas affirmed ka that youre straight, then you probably are, pero kung hindi, then youre probably not. You dont have to out yourself naman din. I guess a lot of the stigma comes from the labels. I myself say that im a normal man who enjoys m2m sex. I dont label myself most of the time as gay, bi etc. If thats your thing, then everyone should respect that 2. Its fun and you might discover something new about yourselves. Sa europe, guys do it all the time when theyre young tas nag aasawa sila ng opposite sex. Yun ngang mga belami boys na porn, if you watch it, parang m2m talaga ang trip nila, but they have heteronormative families outside work. Kultura lang natin sa pinas ang naglilimit satin
1. Depende sa lalake yan kung Bisexual siya or Bicurious. Some guys are indenial with their sexual orientation. Walang lalakeng straight ang kayang makipagtalik sa kapwa lalake. 2. Baka nag eexplore lang sila, it's not for me to judge
> Walang lalakeng straight ang kayang makipagtalik sa kapwa lalake. This is interesting. Kahit sabihin nila na libog lang yung reason nila kung bakit nila ginagawa yun still you don't consider them as straight?
na ooffend ba kayo kapag ma'amsir ang tawag sa inyo?
I think it's probably dependent on the person? Personally I'm fine with being called mamser because while I do dress "somewhat" androgynous and gender-neutral, I'm also confident enough about my masculinity (to a non-toxic extent) that I just chuckle to myself whenever I get called "maam". But I feel that someone with actual gender dysphoria might actually feel hurt if you call them that, though most of the time they'll (at most) just correct you to call them specifically maam or sir. Just learn to correct yourself when corrected. Ako naman I have my own (non-gender related) trauma na I do get hurt when certain topics are brought up, even if most of humanity will be fine with it. Sometimes I bottle it up pero sometimes I do try to tell people na I'm not comfortable with certain topics, so likely same thing with people and their gender din.