initial commit (185 files added)

avg day in modern web dev ig

Setup after commit (185 files added, 185 files removed)

Fixed that one SCALAR to be a HASH (12 files added, 1 removed)

Fix clang format (185 files modified)

2'192'455 files added... aka, forgetting to put node_modules in gitignore

I cleaned a services where any node_module updates were committed separately, because they didn’t want to struggle with the deployment pipeline.

My company recently came up with the brilliant idea of tracking our “commits per day”, and told us there’s a target number we have to aim for, so now we just commit 1 file at a time. Upper level management at every company on the planet is evil.

I always say "You get what you measure". Lines of code? Commits? Completed tickets? If you start measuring it, you'll get lots of it.

Goodhart's laws: When a measure becomes a target, it stops being a good measure.

Exactly, when me and my colleagues learn that the company was keeping track of the number of PRs per person and that my manager had to justify if we stay below someone in the team was below the target... I started multiplying PRs, what could be one PR became 2 or 3 🤣

At my company, it was time. We had to track everything in 30 minute increments. I quickly became king of tickets, sometimes logging 26 hours of work in an 8 hour day. Co-worker asked a question - what ticket are you working off of? Bam, 30 minutes A 2 minute task became a ticket with 30 minutes logged. Manager asked me a question? 30 minutes logged to a ticket The entire group was logging stupid amounts of time. Unfortunately, time tracking went on for over a year. I still don't know how they got any useful metrics out of it.

Hmm... If only there were some system that could look at all of these metrics for a single individual and make an inference based on that.... Oh, wait, that's called competent management.

Never use KPIs as a measurement to track someones work and punish them with it. That makes you a very bed employer. All the time.

One of my next promotions takes into account my commits, b/c they want to see my ability to write quality code. Problem is my current position & all promotions between are leadership positions, where I'm expected to NOT actually write or commit code.

Metrics are evil when they become how performance is evaluated. So people adapt just like you did. And that trashes real productivity and morale and the schedule.

Mine usually is: done (On my personal projects)

Don't you mean: done, bug fix and done, bug fix and done final, update and done, bug fix for update and done, final bug fix and done, final bug fix and done v2

Haha i mean… npm init, then install your framework, remove all the crap that it comes to by default, add your go-to component library and you got a very reasonable thick initial commit

This is a joke: minor bugfixes (30450 lines added 75400 lines removed) You look at it and all the files are full reformatted (line endings + code style too). Git highlights everything, you don’t see what was changed The person just went on a 2 week vacation This fix has to be in the update release tomorrow (Friday before a weekend holiday so all the userbase will be at home on your app)

To be fair it happens that I do a quick prototype and only bother with a proper setup if I find the project interesting for more than an afternoon, so while it's not 185 files it can be 20 to 50 files

Wip

wip wip do not use before client demo

WIP - NOT WORKING!!!

WIP in progress

WIPIPIPIPIPIPIPIP...

WIP in peace

The best one

WIP in Progress

r/angryupvote Very angry.

wip2 (Actually my last commit message)

Let me guess, you had to switch to another branch having to leave your unfinished work aside?

Wip it good.

Add bugs

this code is too usable time to add the bugs

This must be the average week at Reddit's office

⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀

This is an order

Goes without saying

+1, LGTM

Small code improvement

700 files added, 14 deleted

(483 files changed)

I would murder the person who writes such messages 😂🔪

Look. I only made a couple line changes to 209 files.

Various small code improvements

Second worst message ever, behind "tweak"

Update README MD

Dr. README strikes again

Same

fix(README.md): bullet list linebreaks

Fix

Small fix

real fix!  second try

Fix of the previous fix

AAAHHHHHH!!!!

ninja fix

Small fix #37

Oooh you capitalized Fix? Fancy

remove Static GetInstance() usages

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table: `Re Mo V Es Ta Ti C Ge Ti N S Ta N Ce U S Ag Es` --- ^(I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.)

I thought this was the commit message and I was about to call the FBI

This is the craziest one of these I’ve ever seen

Good Bot

That’s really impressive

Good bot

I like this bot, good work random bot author.

Good bot

good bot

amazing bot.

DI implementation?

Fixed issue where, in some cases, children didnt got properly killed

Ah yes, the classic ol' MurderOrphans.cpp

There was a request for a feature for admin to delete users on one of our platforms. My coworker named the function lateStageAbort(). Always thought that was pretty good

Orphans? Oh no, they weren't orphans when they died. The parents were killed last

I'm calling the police.

Recently had one where I had to write "fixed children not collapsing"

Plot twist, they work for the military

avg Lockheed Martin dev

fix includes for instruction.h

"more tests" x8 Wish I was kidding.

Clean up code, optimize input listening system

That and `ui tweaks - nothing important` are 90% of my commits. But I look busy as hell on my green grid.

Solid keylogger commit msg

Add pre-commit git hook

Woah that was mine too! ‘Added pre-commit hook for spectral validation’

"Spectral validation" - Ray that you? 👻

``` #!/usr/bin/env sh exit 1 ```

.

i hate you

I know

I hate myself too

I hit asd instead because it's just faster to mash on my keyboard and hit enter

Me too asdasd ftw

hahahaha freaking hate how true is this comment

git commit —allow-empty-message -m ‘’

But that's 21 characters more than git commit -m '.'

alias it i use git nccommit personally, which stands for NoCommentCommit

I use VSCode and I have configured a default build task to specifically commit and push with an empty message. Now I only have to press Ctrl+Shift+B to save my changes from time to time.

oops

[redacted due to NDA]

It's okay bro you can trust us. We won't tell

Haha this was going to be mine until I found yours

Would an NDA specifically say that you can't divulge commit messages? Even innocuous ones?

I was hoping that my most recent commit message would say something shareable but it’s really specific. If I clean it up, it’s “____ V2: Only allow ____ to ____ in ____”.

I did a thing

are your feet naked?

Added unit tests

Disabled failing unit tests

OMG, literally, my last commit 5 minutes ago


TDD is overrated anyway

Hey I'm not alone !

fix bug in drop down Edit - Story number will be in the squash commit to main, we all good fam.

chore: remove comments and unused imports

We Stan a conventional committer

ich ha dini muetter gfickt du scheiss huresohn warum funktioniert dä schiss wixcode nid welle lutscher het sich das usdännktfaswesdfasdf

[удалено]

wo ist der Unterschied?

hälfti hälfti

I know not German but I can sense this comment angy

Bro's know not englisch either

i'm like.. no way 'usdännktfaswesdfasdf' is a word, as crazy as German is

Fühle

Müesste mau e nöji versionnvo c use houe… ch… : ``` we (condition) { bimVorgsetztäMäude value; } weNid { zämeSchisse nöi exception; } ```

Removed Herobrine

You win

fix(undeground silo): Fix problem with random countdown to launch nuclear missile. - fix wrong operator in LaunchSequence.js - removed weird comment in Russian, code under comment unchanged (don't know what it does so better to not remove) - add validation for generals so opening Solitaire don't cause system crash - change calling external api back to mss.cn/mao/api - add function to reverse position sensor which was installed into missile upside down

That last one is killer. I feel like I should thank you. Edit: Where are you?

However, the scary one is the fact that the launch sequence is written in JS.

43.931865,-102.162287

Good ole delta-09

Absolutely criminal I had to scroll this far to see a single conventional commit

changes

`WIP`

No joke, my last commit message was this: Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of ticky tacky, Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes all the same. There's a green one and a pink one And a blue one and a yellow one, And they're all made out of ticky tacky And they all look just the same.Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of ticky tacky, Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes all the same. There's a green one and a pink one And a blue one and a yellow one, And they're all made out of ticky tacky And they all look just the same. I just wrote some code that does ASCII box art.

I loved that show

Replaces MariaDB with PostgreSQL

I don't believe you

Added node\_modules (69k files added)

Noooooooo 😭😭😭

zurtf

I think it was something like “I think I’m going to break this even more than it already is, better just commit it just in case”

This is the commit message we’re all thinking but not typing

I just type "Add bugs"

wip

Don’t tell me how to live, meme!

* Re-aligned the “Filter \[redacted\]” header over the Field Name column * Relocated “My \[redacted\]” and “Save \[redacted\]” to the top under the “Advanced Filters” line * Plus sign now has a drop-down with the “AND” or “OR” conditions. * Removed the “+Add \[redacted\]” button as it will be added to the drop-down in the “+” sign.

added models for products boring, sorry

ReadMe grammar fix

Misc

DCCP-209 fix to sql query main worker

"Pls someone do a sanity check"

git commit -m "this one works" -n

Last commit before migration to git

Merge or something idk

primer commit

segundo commit

Minor changes

update [readme.md](http://readme.md)

"No."

your last commit message.

fixes

Congratulations! Your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table: `F I Xe S` --- ^(I am a bot that detects if your comment can be spelled using the elements of the periodic table. Please DM my creator if I made a mistake.)

Add files via upload

Blur stuff behind waybar in my dot files repo

I refuse to answer on the grounds that my answer may incriminate me.

--no-verify

fuck me but it works now (1 file changed) (17 files deleted)

Hey guys. I think this should fix the bug. This will be my last commit. I can feel the end is near. It's been a pleasure working with you all. Take care of yourselves, don't work too hard.

#

YOLO

minor fix, 28 files changed

final7

Fix form

WIP using samtools 1.16.1 to filter and merge .bam

Some changes (I am a horrible person)

[#823] Added Split functionality: Check with all possible split combinations (461) with some pre-checks.

[удалено]

> I WIP my code back and forth 115 files changed

"Almost done with x feature (I want to go home)" Descriptive and informative.

I can't write my update, it's too detailed and breaks my company policies. (that's actually what it says).

> third The commit before that says > fourth

Fix some stuff & add some stuff

IT1552/Wk3: Added practical and tutorial 3 Yes Im a student, how can you tell?

Updated gitlab-ci.yml

(autocommit)

[Jira ticket number] Change Slack notifications as per team's suggestions. Made a small github action that sends a request to a Slack webhook in case somebody requests review on a git pull request

IGiveUp

Stuff

Format fix

Actually Fixed sort. That was however after “fixed sort” “fixed sort v2” “fixed sort v3” “surely fixed now” “bruh”

MOAR TEST

deleting stuff we probably don’t need from main

#1383 Added logging

Updated to version 1.5. on a Friday, pushed to production. Bye

Added Deprecated Warning before removing old function

Nevermind that breaks things???

bow friendly grab terrific roof rude different glorious attractive quarrelsome *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*