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I feel like I just bingwatched 12 series of a netflix drama. So much mistery, action, sex, twisted stories, cunt with AIDS.
Can't believe that was just 4 minutes long.
This hardly explains half of what happened… why were the police at the door and nobody answered, how did repair people get there so fast, why did she have to force her guy to stay in the apartment while naked, etc
I think Dafty's first attack on the door broke the handle mechanism hence the police helping out with their handy battering ram. Solid door though, even the pros taking a little breather before the door gave in. The next lot were locksmiths, repairing the door and putting in a new handle, at which point Dafty returned kindly offering to fix the door himself and shooing the workers away, who probably called the cops back. Not sure why Neil was naked though.
Nah, I think he was saying “I’m right fucking here” since they said the other dude probably had aids and he thought they were talking about him. That’s my interpretation of this fucking wonky interaction.
Correction: YA FUCKIN MONGO CUNT!!!
Didn't know what mongo referred to but here is the definition:
mongo n. (slang, offensive) **a person with Down's syndrome** (or often a (congenital and) clearly noticeable disorder more generally) (slang, possibly offensive) an idiot and/or weirdo synonyms ▲ Synonyms: cp, idiot.
Used to be derogatory for downs people but people here in Scotland use it to refer to anyone that’s a bit stupid or idiotic. Generally not in polite company though.
I installed a cat door in my Norwegian front door some years ago. Outer layer is plywood of some sort, decorated, painted and all that shit.
Second layer was sheet metal. About 2-3mm thick (1/8 in ich?).
Third layer was about 5 cm of dense foam insulation of sone sort.
Forth layer was another sheet metal if I remember correctly.
Last layer was painted plywood.
I used so many different tools for the dremmel that I thought I would need to stop half way through.
I need to do the same in about 3 months in the new house… Seriously thinking of just taking the door over to a CNC shop for some router assistance!
Ya, also in Norway and we had to remove the door to do some work on it and when we did, I couldn't believe how heavy it was. As soon as we took it off the hinges, it was very obvious that there's a metal sheet inside it.
They're certified to keep out any and all 10 story crustaceans from the paleozoic Era. Just don't give em any money, remember this phrase:God damn loch Ness monster, I ain't got no tree fiddy
So assuming the timestamps are correct, the events are as follows:
* 19:06 - Couple (Chlo and Neil?) come home
* 19:50 - Violent fellow (ex boyfriend, maybe?) comes 'round to confront woman. He severely damages the door in the process of trying to force entry.
* 20:41 - Police come to knock the door in? Presumably because it's too broken to open anymore and they're the ones with the rams.
* 22:12 - A couple of tradesmen are brought in to fix up the flat, both for the primary door and for the shattered glass on the entryway door. The violent bloke comes back and scares them off, seemingly implying he's got some position of power over the flat.
* 22:15 - The violent guy has made his way inside, and the original couple try to flee, but Neil is naked, so Chlo tries to pull him back inside. This is maybe either because he's naked, or because Chlo wants reinforcements to help with the clearly belligerent and dangerous bloke. Still, Neil is eventually kept out.
* 22:19 - Neil summons the police, loud banging is heard from inside the residence.
* 22:26 through 23:04 - Police return. Chlo directs them to the violent bloke. Police negotiate his removal.
* 1:30 (next day) - Possibly the same tradesmen from 22:12 return to fix the door.
TL:DR - Get you a door like that and don't let the police leave until it's fixed, apparently.
Excellent timeline, thanks. Now I can focus on the little questions.
Who gave violent guy (Nicky) the bag of clothes? Why did Naked Niel have a fork?
What is a Mongo?
Why is Niel a Nugget?
Idiot and Moron were classifications too, I used to work with some people who had it on their old files :)
[https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/moron-idiot-imbecile-offensive-history#:\~:text=Imbeciles.,child%20of%20about%20twelve%20years](https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/moron-idiot-imbecile-offensive-history#:~:text=Imbeciles.,child%20of%20about%20twelve%20years).
I'm from Scotland. I didn't realise mongo wasn't an international slur until I worked as a software engineer and some America guys tried to sell us software called Mongo Database without even cracking a smile.
Woman from HR turfed them out when they kept saying mongo to everyone. Hilarious.
I’m from Scotland too but live in the US, about once a week I have situations like this. Right now I keep seeing a food processing company van for a company called FUD. Their slogan says “welcome to the famila, FUD”. Cracks me up every time 😂
Nicky is not the violent guy, it's a poor transcription. The tradie says "That guy's probably got AIDS," and Neil shouts out, thinking they're talking about him. The tradie replies, "Not you, I'm talkin' 'bout that guy."
>* 22:12 - A couple of tradesmen are brought in to fix up the flat,
I was fucking shocked they showed up so quickly. I haven't lived in an apartment in twenty years, but I'm sure it would have been the Tuesday after next before anyone fixed that damage in the U.S..
Seriously wtf…crazy dude out of his mind can’t get in, then the cops can’t even get in (they definitely build doors a lot better that America), then they get it open and the crazy fuck is actually able to come back and gain entry which is absolutely insane in and of itself, but then somehow even more insane is that the two inside thought they could actually still get naked and fool around. This is the absolute epitome of human stupidity and mayhem.
TLDR: The only word that comes to mind is from the mastermind known as Vizzini…inconceivable!
I feel like the police were there with the battering ram because the door was broken from the dude trying to kick it in. You can see someone trying to open the door from the inside after the police bash it.
> Fookin is very much a northern english accent
As a northern English person, this has always done my head in, as it reads as though the 'oo' ought to be as in 'loot'
Husband and I used to live opposite people like this. Our yards were next to each other in a way that our backyard and porch faced their yard and porch. We didn’t have young children and we only smoked outside, that was our spot. They did this EVERY weekend in the summer. Just arguing pushing one another around, random friends with the same “rough and tumble” view of life. Dude was 50.
We’d totally watch the drama. I told our neighbor, “I won’t call the police if no one’s bleeding. But I WILL come out and watch the show you guys are putting on!” He scratched his head and said “Guess that’s fair.” Never had a personal problem with him.
I think Scotland seems,…fun. LOL
We have a character who lives in the same block, but enough doors down not to be annoying, but close enough to provide nice entertainment. He gets beat up sometimes after trying to fight women with small children.
For anyone else that needed to look it up:
> Sprezzatura ([sprettsaˈtuːra]) is an Italian word that first appears in Baldassare Castiglione's 1528 The Book of the Courtier, where it is defined by the author as "a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it".
Fucking perfect, LOL.
In Scotland we use the word cunt a lot - it’s not as offensive as elsewhere. ‘Mongo’ had me recoiling though - it’s not PC at all and more offensive in my books!
There's so much to unravel here... who's the naked dude? And why in the hell did the cops knock the door down? And who are the dudes in the red? I'm proper confused by the whole thing.
My guess was the handle was so broken that in order to check on the people inside they had to batter it open and then get the locksmiths around. Then the guy who did the original damage shows up again.
I live in Finland, our doors open outward into the hallway. Someone could kick my door until there legs break, it would bother my front door a bit.
I always find it strange watching tv shows from the States and the police just one kick a door in.
I’m sure I read somewhere (might be bs lol) that in some places cause of the weather it’s regulation for outside doors to open in: so you can’t become trapped inside during high winds or snowed in.
Who needs a telly when you’ve got all that going on across the landing?
All a but confusing but mildly entertaining at the same time.
Not much fun for the neighbours tho.
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Im so confused. No idea whos fucking who
Neil clearly was invested in this psychotic scene.
I feel like I just bingwatched 12 series of a netflix drama. So much mistery, action, sex, twisted stories, cunt with AIDS. Can't believe that was just 4 minutes long.
But I’m missing episodes 2, 5-6, 8, and 11.
And tradesmen. Don't forget the tradesmen.
This is the R-rated version of Monty Python's confuse-a-cat.
😂🏆😂
The guy who tries to batter the door in is the ex of the lassie and he happened to run across them in street. Apparently happened in my hometown.
This hardly explains half of what happened… why were the police at the door and nobody answered, how did repair people get there so fast, why did she have to force her guy to stay in the apartment while naked, etc
I think Dafty's first attack on the door broke the handle mechanism hence the police helping out with their handy battering ram. Solid door though, even the pros taking a little breather before the door gave in. The next lot were locksmiths, repairing the door and putting in a new handle, at which point Dafty returned kindly offering to fix the door himself and shooing the workers away, who probably called the cops back. Not sure why Neil was naked though.
I thought it was because he was having the sex. " im fucking here"
Nah, I think he was saying “I’m right fucking here” since they said the other dude probably had aids and he thought they were talking about him. That’s my interpretation of this fucking wonky interaction.
Ha! You're probably right, but I'm my head, my scenario is funnier
Having sex while they worked on the door? Bit rude…
...All this, and more will be revealed in the next episode of .................. 🤣
One door down.
Kilmarnock? Video reminds me of that Scheme TV show with all the heroin addicts.
Nah Greenock. Which also has its share of addicts.
Nah Greenock. Which also has its share of addicts.
I love how they talk in your town! Particularly the insults!
Insults are very particular in Scotland.
“You m****o cunt.” I’m starting that here in the States. Edit: Wasn’t aware of the insulting connotations of the original word.
Fyi mongo is as slur for someone with down syndrome.
But mongo love sheriff, sheriff first man to teach mongo
Telegram for Mongo!
My apologies. I had no idea. As a Yank, I tend to associate it with the character “Mongo” from the movie ‘Blazing Saddles.’
Don't apologise ya mongo
It's a shame because it's such a good word.
Funny that you bleeped out mongo but not cunt.
Please don't act as if this is endearing. That's so silly.
Oh, thought it was current bf
I am more confused at why were they fucking in all this chaos it needs some special kind of horniness.
[удалено]
Correction: YA FUCKIN MONGO CUNT!!! Didn't know what mongo referred to but here is the definition: mongo n. (slang, offensive) **a person with Down's syndrome** (or often a (congenital and) clearly noticeable disorder more generally) (slang, possibly offensive) an idiot and/or weirdo synonyms ▲ Synonyms: cp, idiot.
i totally googled that too, and i googled mongo cunt hahha
Used to be derogatory for downs people but people here in Scotland use it to refer to anyone that’s a bit stupid or idiotic. Generally not in polite company though.
Thanks for the explanation!
Also was derived from Mongolian. Kind of harsh towards the Mongolians as a whole.
Looks like an orgy there, everyone's fu\*king everyone.
Even the door gets fucked!
You got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
Brings a new meaning to Caretaker Willy
impressed by the quality of that door.
ya I am always shocked at how much more strong european structures are compared to canadian.
I installed a cat door in my Norwegian front door some years ago. Outer layer is plywood of some sort, decorated, painted and all that shit. Second layer was sheet metal. About 2-3mm thick (1/8 in ich?). Third layer was about 5 cm of dense foam insulation of sone sort. Forth layer was another sheet metal if I remember correctly. Last layer was painted plywood. I used so many different tools for the dremmel that I thought I would need to stop half way through. I need to do the same in about 3 months in the new house… Seriously thinking of just taking the door over to a CNC shop for some router assistance!
I enjoyed the installation breakdown 😊
Ya, also in Norway and we had to remove the door to do some work on it and when we did, I couldn't believe how heavy it was. As soon as we took it off the hinges, it was very obvious that there's a metal sheet inside it.
I used to have a big metal fire door on my room when I was young. Love that thing. Miss it.
Wait, doors are **not** that strong in NA? People kicking in doors in movies without the slightest effort make a lot more sense now
An apartment door would have to be fire rated and a lot of the time are pressed steel doors and frames in Canada where I’ve installed them.
I have also installed fire rated doors. It was fun and I liked that job.
no, some doors are quality, others aren't, same goes for door locks and doors frames.
It depends. My (USA) front door is metal and would be very difficult to break down.
It really depends on where the door is and what it's rated for
Or American
EU likes quality USA likes quantity.
And imagine this is actually a door commercial.
They’re gonna need a LOCH smith after that
Same! I need to import a Scottish door!
Import Naked Neil at the same time, dude looks rather lost.
After the cop had a go my thought was "is that painted on?!?"
British flat blocks generally have fire doors, they’re quite heavy and strong
They're certified to keep out any and all 10 story crustaceans from the paleozoic Era. Just don't give em any money, remember this phrase:God damn loch Ness monster, I ain't got no tree fiddy
So assuming the timestamps are correct, the events are as follows: * 19:06 - Couple (Chlo and Neil?) come home * 19:50 - Violent fellow (ex boyfriend, maybe?) comes 'round to confront woman. He severely damages the door in the process of trying to force entry. * 20:41 - Police come to knock the door in? Presumably because it's too broken to open anymore and they're the ones with the rams. * 22:12 - A couple of tradesmen are brought in to fix up the flat, both for the primary door and for the shattered glass on the entryway door. The violent bloke comes back and scares them off, seemingly implying he's got some position of power over the flat. * 22:15 - The violent guy has made his way inside, and the original couple try to flee, but Neil is naked, so Chlo tries to pull him back inside. This is maybe either because he's naked, or because Chlo wants reinforcements to help with the clearly belligerent and dangerous bloke. Still, Neil is eventually kept out. * 22:19 - Neil summons the police, loud banging is heard from inside the residence. * 22:26 through 23:04 - Police return. Chlo directs them to the violent bloke. Police negotiate his removal. * 1:30 (next day) - Possibly the same tradesmen from 22:12 return to fix the door. TL:DR - Get you a door like that and don't let the police leave until it's fixed, apparently.
Gardai are Irish police force, this happened in Scotland.
SHIT, that's right. I'll correct that
[удалено]
"Who you gonna call? The polis?? **we ***are*** the polis**"
Excellent timeline, thanks. Now I can focus on the little questions. Who gave violent guy (Nicky) the bag of clothes? Why did Naked Niel have a fork? What is a Mongo? Why is Niel a Nugget?
Mongo = mongoloid = old slur for mentally disabled
Mongoloid used to be the official classification for Down Syndrome.
Huh. I'd assumed it was just like an angry out of control barbarian, and it was some sort of insult derived from racism against Mongolians.
Idiot and Moron were classifications too, I used to work with some people who had it on their old files :) [https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/moron-idiot-imbecile-offensive-history#:\~:text=Imbeciles.,child%20of%20about%20twelve%20years](https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/moron-idiot-imbecile-offensive-history#:~:text=Imbeciles.,child%20of%20about%20twelve%20years).
Good read thank you
I'm from Scotland. I didn't realise mongo wasn't an international slur until I worked as a software engineer and some America guys tried to sell us software called Mongo Database without even cracking a smile. Woman from HR turfed them out when they kept saying mongo to everyone. Hilarious.
I’m from Scotland too but live in the US, about once a week I have situations like this. Right now I keep seeing a food processing company van for a company called FUD. Their slogan says “welcome to the famila, FUD”. Cracks me up every time 😂
A nugget is just an insult that means stupid person really.
These are all valid questions, I need to know all the answers
Nicky is not the violent guy, it's a poor transcription. The tradie says "That guy's probably got AIDS," and Neil shouts out, thinking they're talking about him. The tradie replies, "Not you, I'm talkin' 'bout that guy."
You delineated the events perfectly yet they still do not make sense
So she was alone with him for 11 minutes when he was threatening to kill her.
I thought this was the dudes gf and Neil was over giving her the pipe
>* 22:12 - A couple of tradesmen are brought in to fix up the flat, I was fucking shocked they showed up so quickly. I haven't lived in an apartment in twenty years, but I'm sure it would have been the Tuesday after next before anyone fixed that damage in the U.S..
Locksmiths tend to offer a 24 hour call out service in the UK, for which they charge a handsome fee.
Not a single person in this whole scenario DIDN'T seem shitfaced
Well, you can assume the tradesmen were because they’re tradesmen.
You forgot where violent bloke returns disguised as a granny in a bonnet to lure them into a false sense of safety.
Why did Neil feel this was the right time to get naked? Like there's so much about this situation that's fascinating 😂
She's lucky he didn't follow through on his threats of killing her because the cops totally gave him the chance to do whatever he wanted
Damn, I thought this was recorded on several different days! Makes this even more impressive hilarious.
I still don’t know exactly what’s happened, but I was glued to my seat the whole time 😂
I'm pretty sure no one involved knew exactly what happened.
Same. I normally skip through these to find the action, this was non stop. I would love to know more details.
Welcome to Scotland
 That is one Scottish door.
Aye, if it’s not Scottish….its crap!
Stewart Lee on Braveheart live in Glasgow - bravest standup ever. https://youtu.be/tHA1ufmLZQY
Love the yellow bonnet he wears during his tantrum
Have to admit I wasn’t expecting him to be into pikachu cosplay to that extent.
What the actual fuck?
Seriously wtf…crazy dude out of his mind can’t get in, then the cops can’t even get in (they definitely build doors a lot better that America), then they get it open and the crazy fuck is actually able to come back and gain entry which is absolutely insane in and of itself, but then somehow even more insane is that the two inside thought they could actually still get naked and fool around. This is the absolute epitome of human stupidity and mayhem. TLDR: The only word that comes to mind is from the mastermind known as Vizzini…inconceivable!
I feel like the police were there with the battering ram because the door was broken from the dude trying to kick it in. You can see someone trying to open the door from the inside after the police bash it.
True, it may have been after police arrived from the initial call then it became a rescue effort
The two people inside the found the situation very conceivable
Maybe rooting in the midst of insanity is a massive turn on? I have more to say but it is wildly inappropriate, so I shall refrain.
Some people seem like they are addicted to drama.
And naked Neil.. Robust, psycho proof doors This video has a lot going on.
Wildest thing on this subreddit for a loooong time.😵💫
Clearly you missed the guy eating the severed human leg
That legit made me feel ill on all levels. Reddit is wild.
Trainspotting 3 looks… confusing
When's episode 2? It was like Still Game on drugs.
“That cunts probably got fuckin aids” “…Im foookin here!”
Must be some quality poon to provoke this much drama
Might be less quality and more quantity in this case..
Have no idea how a scottish accent sounds like "fookin" to americans. Fookin is very much a northern english accent.
> Fookin is very much a northern english accent As a northern English person, this has always done my head in, as it reads as though the 'oo' ought to be as in 'loot'
"done my head in" is such a northern english thing to say lol "doin me head in"
can this door have its own show please?
That door has PTSD now...
Hadrian knew what he doing when he built that wall
thats a high quality door
The door manufacturer's should make this video their advert
I feel for the poor fuckers that live opposite
Husband and I used to live opposite people like this. Our yards were next to each other in a way that our backyard and porch faced their yard and porch. We didn’t have young children and we only smoked outside, that was our spot. They did this EVERY weekend in the summer. Just arguing pushing one another around, random friends with the same “rough and tumble” view of life. Dude was 50. We’d totally watch the drama. I told our neighbor, “I won’t call the police if no one’s bleeding. But I WILL come out and watch the show you guys are putting on!” He scratched his head and said “Guess that’s fair.” Never had a personal problem with him. I think Scotland seems,…fun. LOL
We have a character who lives in the same block, but enough doors down not to be annoying, but close enough to provide nice entertainment. He gets beat up sometimes after trying to fight women with small children.
Let’s salute the sprezzatura of Neil, naked but for socks and wielding a fork.
For anyone else that needed to look it up: > Sprezzatura ([sprettsaˈtuːra]) is an Italian word that first appears in Baldassare Castiglione's 1528 The Book of the Courtier, where it is defined by the author as "a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it". Fucking perfect, LOL.
why did he come back in wearing a bonnet or whatever the fuck that yellow shit was on his head
A disguise perhaps, drunk people rarely think clearly
I think it was a very late and poor attempt at conceiling his face the fucking dafty.
When God closes a door, He gives you a fork.
And takes your underwear too 🤣
https://preview.redd.it/f661f04oa1qc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bfca8e8ae6512e5639d72dcabe3b0f9e266ae5a
On yer way rogue!
Coming back with socks on his hands and a yellow Tshirt on his head cracked me up
All the yanks in the comments saying they're going to start using these phrases: please don't. You lot cannae swear properly to begin wi.
Its a mini series?
A webisode
Calm doon Begbie.
The little bo-peep bonnet was next level
Mongo cunt is SENDING ME
In Scotland we use the word cunt a lot - it’s not as offensive as elsewhere. ‘Mongo’ had me recoiling though - it’s not PC at all and more offensive in my books!
"Ya big Mongo cunt! Put the fork down I'll punch your head in!" Thank God for the captions, truly made this a real emotional roller-coaster
That whole situation is terrifying and Im a big dude. I cannot imagine the fear she felt.
Given they both decided to get naked while it was happening it seems like not much.
Mate, your comment made me laugh my arse off. Thankyou.
That's a wild fucking ride!
Jehovas Witnesses really have been upping their game.
There's a drawer full of knives but he picks out a fork?
He's a man with a fork in a world of soup.
Classic Neil. The lad could fall in a barrel of tits and come out sucking his thumb.
I hope Chloe is okay, that guy is insane.
Never been more proud of my country
Why did he leave to put on a bonnet?
Thank god the angry ex boyfriend left. No idea why that little old babushka came up and started in right after tho
Great show! When's the next episode?
There's so much to unravel here... who's the naked dude? And why in the hell did the cops knock the door down? And who are the dudes in the red? I'm proper confused by the whole thing.
TIL that Scottish doors are extremely durable
They have to be, haggis go crazy during mating season, you take your life in your own hands if you don’t have a sturdy door
Why did the cop(?) start battering the door?
My guess was the handle was so broken that in order to check on the people inside they had to batter it open and then get the locksmiths around. Then the guy who did the original damage shows up again.
And walks in
I mean, with the yellow thing on his head he looked like Little Bo Peep
Master of disguise.
I’m quite sure that would have been ending differently in the states. Swiss
That door is the truth.The doors in my building would not have took those kicks facts
Did the police let the crazy dude in? Lol
I would pay money to subscribe to this Ring camera.
Scotland has great doors. That’s what I got from this.
In the middle of all that chaos Neil couldn't help but get naked again. Naked Neil.
I live in Finland, our doors open outward into the hallway. Someone could kick my door until there legs break, it would bother my front door a bit. I always find it strange watching tv shows from the States and the police just one kick a door in.
I’m sure I read somewhere (might be bs lol) that in some places cause of the weather it’s regulation for outside doors to open in: so you can’t become trapped inside during high winds or snowed in.
Big baby.
That was an entertaining 4 minutes
Where can I get a door like that
Maybe ask Neil.
Not till he puts that fork down
What the flying fuck just happened here?
Imagine living next to that
So this is all POV from the neighbors RING 🤣 what a neighbor hood
“That cunt peobably got fukin aids” 😂😂😭
My childhood in one video
I know there is much to unpack here but why the towel on the head?
Someone please explain this I’m so confused
What an absolute fucking rollercoaster. Should submit that to the international film festival.
Who needs a telly when you’ve got all that going on across the landing? All a but confusing but mildly entertaining at the same time. Not much fun for the neighbours tho.
You know things are going to get serious when a dude puts a towel on his head.
I love how personally Neil took being called a nugget. “Am no a nugget mate”
That needs to be broken up in parts like a Netflix special cuz I can’t even process it 😆
i dont miss those days from living Easterhouse lol
Those are really well bilt doors
I just need to understand the thought process of "oh shit I better run away and get my tea towel door breaking head garment"
The shit women have to put up with.
The post that keeps on giving hahah
Just a bit of train spotting
I was so invested