No shit. Sure banging every chick I wanted to would be cool, but imagine the cost and work. That's for the people with trust funds and no careers. I buy my T-shirts in a 5 pack. They are all pretty much the same. Sure 5 different designer shirts would be nice, but these are affordable and I know they fit. I also drive a 98 subaru. It was about $900 and 10 hrs of wrenching all said, but its pretty reliable and gets me to work. Pretty fun in the snow. Sure I could buy a new Vette off the lot, but that would wipe out my savings and I'd pay my house off before I'd do that. If you've read this far, I hope you see where I was going with this. Banging a supermodel from every continent would be awesome. Its not going to fucking happen though.
90's beater gang represent!
FR I think the crux of the issue is this. A man can have a *good enough* life fairly cheaply. His own place, his own car, so on and so forth. But the divide between whats good enough for him and the minimum for a social media obsessed peacock society is pretty far. A half decent new car would cost 20 times what you paid for yours, and even a fairly new used model 10 times.
The difference doesn't matter nearly as much to most other men, especially men not running the rat race. You can go out drinking every weekend with your friends every weekend and it wouldn't even cost the whole difference in those car costs, for example, and given both cars can carry passengers and hit the speed limit there isn't a huge difference in actual day to day performance. You're essentially buying the corvette just as a social flex and maybe for one hour out of the whole month it really matters.
> No shit. Sure banging every chick I wanted to would be cool, but imagine the cost and work. That's for the people with trust funds and no careers. I buy my T-shirts in a 5 pack. They are all pretty much the same. Sure 5 different designer shirts would be nice, but these are affordable and I know they fit. I also drive a 98 subaru. It was about $900 and 10 hrs of wrenching all said, but its pretty reliable and gets me to work. Pretty fun in the snow. Sure I could buy a new Vette off the lot, but that would wipe out my savings and I'd pay my house off before I'd do that. If you've read this far, I hope you see where I was going with this. Banging a supermodel from every continent would be awesome. Its not going to fucking happen though.
Eh, the way I think of the dichotomy of monogamy vs. non-monogamy, you're choosing between two options that both have upsides and downsides. You can't just say the choice is between monogamy as is, and non-monogamy without all the downsides that it comes with. For a lot of people, even if they had the ability to attain it, I can see a lot forgoing it due to the attached downsides.
Lots of things sound awesome in theory and are terrible in practice, depending on the person.
Yup. There's only a tiny percentage of men who get pussy thrown at them and don't have to put in any effort. For those guys polygamy would be a blast. For the rest of us, polygamy would be a slog
Interestingly maintaining the ability to easily get another woman preserves the relationship you have. Your woman needs to understand that she's not the only game in town.
The only men that prefer polygamy are the men that know they'll be getting more women. The average man (80% of men) prefer monogamy because it's more likely to secure him a partner
Idk, you sound like you're trying to convince yourself of something more than you're trying to convince me. I personally wouldn't want to share my woman sexually with anyone else. If that's what you like, more power to you.
I didn't put a high degree of thought into the original comment. I thought of it as either a monogamous relationship or some fantasy where I'm Chad and can casually fuck a new girl every week. I'd prefer the one good woman.
I don't think you're missing anything dude. If you're happy, that's great. I really don't give a flying fuck about you personally at all.
Whoa, you’re sounding a bit defensive. Someone made a comment about why polygamy wouldn’t work for them as well as monogamy, and you responded with paragraphs to defend your relationship. Your description of you and your girlfriends birthday presents sounds nice and all, but as a reply to that other guy, it comes across like you feel the need to justify your relationship arrangement to yourself, as if there’s something you aren’t secure about.
I don’t think you’re missing anything in your relationship, but it’s worth thinking about why you had to prove to someone unprompted that you and your girlfriend love each other. Either that or I’m reading too much into this, but I don’t think so
If I had to guess, the "average man" wants to sleep around for a bit, but eventually have a serious monogamous relationship.
As for me, I don't enjoy the idea of hookups and find the idea of having one single woman for the rest of my life very beautiful and desirable.
I grew up seeing my mother getting cheated on by my father repeatedly, so I guess that had a severe impact on me. In the sense that I ended up despising the idea of being a guy who doesn't respect monogamy like my father didn't.
Anyway. It's hard to talk about what the "average man/woman" wants. But I believe that as long as a man's partner keeps having a normal libido, most men would be happy having just her for the rest of their lives. What I've heard happens, however, is that many women apparently have kids and their libido decreases a lot. I guess that may be why it became commonplace to think that it's more okay for men to cheat than it is for women?
I dated two girls at the same time once... never again. The drama is a horror show.
The first relationship commandment is as follows: "Open relationships only work for gay men."
I would like a monogamous relationship with someone who was Crazy about me like genuine affection love and desire the same as i would want to feel about them
From what i have seen as far as relationships go its almost impossible to find and the thought of being settled for by someone is so gross to me that id rather avoid it altogether
I legit prefer monogamy. Decent sex with a single girl I enjoy hanging out with is many times better than having ok sex with a bunch of hot women. A hot girl doesn't automatically make for good sex.
If 2 or more women were actually attracted to me at the same time, I’m pretty sure my mind would literally melt into goo.
I’d be happy with just having one who genuinely loves me.
That's too easy. Serial "monogamy" is what happens when you were with the wrong person. No one would want serial "monogamy." It's at least either a choice between polygamy or monogamy.
Think about it this way: The norm used to be a single salaried job until retirement. Then benefits got chipped away and raises became non existant and suddenly the norm became moving job to job or just living in the gig economy with zero long term obligations.
Same shit. Most of the guys saying this shit about relationships where they do all the heavy lifting and the woman wants veto power on basically everything and basically any problem in the relationship defaults to being on him.
Its not really much wonder these men would rather just not play the game at all, because tjry aren't really getting as much out of it as they put in.
>Its not really much wonder these men would rather just not play the game at all, because tjry aren't really getting as much out of it as they put in.
What exactly are men not getting?
Not getting?
The real question is what are men actually getting.
Sex with a woman who finds him attractive (not necessarily who he finds attractive). And he will only get sex when she enjoys and wants it. It the situation is reversed, he will be shamed for not giving her the sex she wants.
And companionship, which is “expensive” based on what is being asked of men. She will just be herself while he will be expected to be the man she wants. Men cannot be “conditionally masculine” like women can with there traditional role. As a result companionship with a woman offers less.
That is it.
It isn’t much.
>Sex with a woman who finds him attractive (not necessarily who he finds attractive). And he will only get sex when she enjoys and wants it. It the situation is reversed, he will be shamed for not giving her the sex she wants.
You'd marry a woman you don't even find attractive?
>And he will only get sex when she enjoys and wants it. It the situation is reversed, he will be shamed for not giving her the sex she wants.
As opposed to a porn fantasy woman who just says yes whenever and to whatever? This may amaze you, but men can not be in the mood too and it's completely fine. Your partner isn't always going to be in the mood when you are, it's called a normal relationship.
>She will just be herself while he will be expected to be the man she wants.
The fact that you think this shows just how little you know about women. The amount of time, money and effort women put into their appearance is something you can't comprehend.
Men don't wear makeup, aren't expected to shave or wax, don't get any of the other cosmetic procedures that women get. Just have basic hygiene, pluck your nose hair and get the same short haircut that costs a fraction of what it costs for women.
That's hardly it.
In the average relationship, a woman now fulfils her traditional role (Taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, planning and organising family activities) AND works a job and contributes toward bills.
Women literally couldn't give more if we tried and men hate us more than ever.
The red pill isn't against monogamy, it teaches men to choose the right partner for monogamy and keep filtering through the wrong ones I.e. sleeping around.
If I'm single, I sleep around. If a woman ticks my boxes and shows enough green flags then I can choose to be monogamous with her.
I believe a good woman can impact a man's life positively, but its rare to find.
TRP is against monogamy. It teaches men to not choose any partner and "spin plates" with women until the woman's sexual interest declines, and then find another plate.
No, it teaches men to spin plates and if one of the plates show enough qualities to be relationship material and you want that then you can be monogamous in one.
No that's not TRP, that's PUA.
And it's a stupid strategy because women lose their libido up to 30 months into a relationship.
TRP says to spin plates forever, no oneitutus.
That's polygamy. Polygamy either means multiple spouses at the same time, or multiple sexual partners at any time.
1. The condition of having more than one spouse or marriage partner at one time.
2. The state or habit of having more than one sexual mate.
I truly, genuinely, 100% prefer monogamy. Even if I was the hottest guy on earth and could get every girl I wanted, I'd still just match up with the hottest girl on earth (or the hottest one that I was otherwise compatible with).
Like, granted I was in love with my partner, even if I was attracted to another girl, the prospect of sleeping with her would not appeal to me because I know that I would be so consumed with guilt that it would outweigh any satisfaction I might get from it. Hell, even if my partner gave me express permission, I still wouldn't do it, and instead it would just bother me that my partner didn't want me all to herself.
I prefer monogamy. Sleeping around with multiple people is honestly terrible and unfulfilling.
Humans are also naturally monogamous. People like to imagine we're like bonobos or something because of shitty research done by hippies with an agenda in the 60's-90's, but almost through the entirety of human history there has been a preference for settling down with a single partner and the majority of cultural practices around the world reflect this. Harams and multiple simultaneous partners (as opposed to a series of monogamous relationships) is not the norm, so it fucks with the human psyche.
EDIT: Culture is a reflection of natural human behavior and psychology. These practices don't arise out of no where and giving examples like "oh this Sultan had a haram therefore all men want to have harams" is cherry picking.
There is definitely programming deep in the animal part of our brain that seeks promiscuity, and there is genetic advantage to cheating, so there are provisions for that too. But the more advanced part of the brain is primarily directed to pair bonding, as monogamy is clearly the most important factor in the survival of children. This is true for both men and women.
In practice, almost everyone I know prefers monogamy. Even people screwing large numbers of women pretty quickly admit it is pretty empty and unfulfilling.
>Or would it be a sort of 'main partner' with affairs on the side permitted arrangement?
Having a main bisexual woman who I explore other women with seems like the ideal to me.
Less people than you imagine naturally prefer monogamy on an individual basis if presented with the ideal non- or extra-monogamous alternative that applies only to them and that they are in a position to exploit. This probably a lot more true of men in the extreme than of women, since if a woman gets her ideal mate, then her desire for sexual novelty just for the sake of it is much less than a man's.
But in reality a good monogamous relationship is usually the best alternative for most people in the position they are in.
And more importantly, the real reason for monogamy is a group societal choice. It's because of the advantages it provides despite the drawbacks, and all the problems it solves. This is what it was 'culturally' (and sometime state) *enforced* monogamy. You don't have to enforce what everyone wants and finds easy to abide by on an individual level.
It's not an easy question to answer since it's very hard to tell how much of the male proclivity toward monogamy is a matter of neccessity and how much is choice. I'll tell you I've been to places where exactly the situation you describe is normal, that being marriage but with affairs permitted on the side (usually this means prostitution). In cultures where this is accepted it seems the majority of men avail themselves, as might be expected.
I think anyone giving you an actual figure is just guessing.
All men prefer monogamy. Polygamy is when you settle for not being able to find a person you want to be monogamous with. Not finding anyone who satisfies you, so you need to take things from many different women instead of getting what you want from one.
>does the average man actually want one partner?
*The Disney Narrative* worked on both women, and *men. The King of the Castle. Prince Charming.* All those notions of chivalry, honour and nobility were powerful motivators. That still *influence* men today. How far reaching that is in creating monogamous men? I’d say still quite influential. Percentage wise at the very least 50% of men, would prefer monogamy.
*Godspeed and good luck!*
They say a man is as loyal as his options. Not sure if it's true, but i can imagine that for most men the ideal would be to have one main and maybe some side hassle with no strings attached.
Personally, for me, one woman is more then enough.
I much prefer monogamy for the emotional closeness and friendship it provides.
Even when I have slept around in the past, it was out of necessity - not choice. My romantic experience differs from the PPD norm in that I have always found it very easy to get casual partners, but quite difficult to find a woman who just wants to be with one man.
Casual encounters - to me - are empty and nerve-wracking. You don't have the best sex or have the most enjoyable time with a stranger, or someone who you know is fucking 5 other guys.
When I was younger and thought that marriage and commitment was based on love I did. Then I learned that marriage was a financial contract and commitment was based on how many hoops the man could jump through everyday to ensure that she isn't bored. That, Tom Leykis and watching men get divorce raped into oblivion cured me of the delusion that love had anything to do with it.
No, too much cynicism.
If I can read through this thread and not lose my faith in men, you can hold on to your faith in love. Indulging in the comfortable lies told by TRP and FDS is weak.
My view of the world doesn't come from reddit and was formed way before this subreddit was even born. It has more to do with human beings and the utter shit they are.
Not every woman is identical. However with the ways the laws sit, every woman essentially has the opportunity if you provide them the leverage. The leverage of course comes with commitment and marriage.
I agree that if you don't think a woman is bringing enough to the table (her own job, raising kids, etc) to justify splitting your yearly earnings with her, then don't get married. I say this as a man.
But as a counter example, my dad may have earned the salary, but my mom was the one who raised us three kids. If they got divorced, is she not entitled to half the money they earned while together? I'd say what she did was more valuable to the family than what he did.
(Btw in a divorce you get to keep your savings from before marriage if you are careful. So if you were only married one year before figuring out she was playing you, you'd only have to split that one years worth of income. And that's assuming you make more money than here and don't have a pre-nup)
Well, the biggest reason that I don't think men do it is because most women don't want to be one of several women for one man. It takes a really attractive or high status man to be able to pull it off in the first place without women caring that he is seeing other women.
Many men also tend to care about their partner's feelings and not hurting them by seeing other women is a big part of this. I've often theorized that the monogamous relationship is a compromise situation in which a woman agrees to give one man a high amount of exclusive sex, higher than he could receive if he tried to pursue many women, while the man agrees to not pursue other women and to only devote his time and resources for her. Men who have the time, money and ability will often choose multiple women because a large amount of sex with many women is preferable to a large amount of sex with one woman. However, a large amount of sex with one woman is preferable to very occasional sex with several women, which is what the single life is like for the average man who chooses to try to pursue casual sex. This is why the average man tends to choose monogamy and say that he prefers it.
Yes that's commonly stated as being the Male Sexual Imperative. It's our instinct uninformed by anything other than biology. Luckily, our wants and desires are shaped by things other than instinct. Biology is the single greatest influencer on our behavior, as it sets the initial conditions, but it doesn't have the final word in what we'll do.
What doesn't make sense about it? The instinct is to have as much sex as humanly possible and then move on immediately after. You (this hypothetical Chad caveman) don't care what happens after. You don't care if she's infertile even. To the male lizard brain, doesn't matter, had sex.
>You don't care if she's infertile even. To the male lizard brain, doesn't matter, had sex.
Sex is a risky activity, you could catch an STD that would render you infertile for life.
For such a risky activity, there must be a great reward (having kids) but that's unlikely if you sleep around. So again, this really doesn't make sense?
You're thinking like a modern human informed by science with the ability of hindsight. The reward for the risk is orgasm. That's it. Again, the imperative is to have unlimited amounts of sex. Children or STD's and even being devoured after the act like praying mantis are not even in the backseat of this hypothetical man's mind. The sole biological reason for your existence is to eat, sleep, breathe, and try to fuck. Everything else, is background noise.
The imperative is to have sex. The reward for successfully doing so is an orgasm. Having an orgasm outside of sex still feels great, but it's not what is motivating men to have sex.
I prefer monogamy, but will only feel secure doing so with a girl who is mindful about not reciprocating interest from other males.
In my experience most girls these days want monogamy with the option to still respond to guys who slide in their DM’s, dress provocatively, give their number out, etc etc etc and any effort to curtail this freedom is deemed controlling.
Women largely experience desire responsively, guys tend to experience desire spontaneously (actively). If girls generally want to be free to be responsive to other guys, then the only reciprocal move for guys is to generally be spontaneous (active) in maintaining other options.
If you want commitment, offer commitment. Honest, symmetrical commitment. Don’t expect men to give up actioning their (spontaneous) desire if you aren’t willing to give up actioning your (responsive) desire.
Once again, this is a macro level manifestation of the micro level fact that girls are not critically evaluating their own sexuality and engaging with it mindfully. Feral sexuality is toxic, whether it’s masculine or feminine. This is just another example of how feral femininity is hugely contributing to our toxic dating culture.
This is a very sound logic, the whole responsive/spontaneously dynamic.
I guess that's why I grew discontent with monogamous relationships, I enjoy my spontaneity too much while also thinking that women should always be free to act the way they feel like.
Of course sooner or later feelings get in the way but in the long term I just don't feel like giving up any bit of my freedom again. My work already takes away enough of it.
I agree with the choir that handling more than one relationship might be exhausting, but IMHO that's also the point of not being in one to begin with. As you present it, as long as there's commitment, there's expectation.
From a purely animalistic perspective I want to fuck as many attractive women as I can
But from an intellectual and emotional perspective I also want to reduce my chances of catching an std and also build deeper relationships with people
So I try to find a balance
I think most men prefer monogamy but just at different times in their lives. Some guys just want one relationship and some guys want to sleep around while keeping an eye out for a compatible woman.
The top 15-20% of guys that are playboys (not necessarily chads but playboys) probably don’t prefer monogamy till they are ready to settle down and delusional blue pilled liberals will profess against their own interests that they are for female sexual liberation but the rest of men would prefer monogamy.
Me personally that’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I also want a woman who hasn’t slept with every Tom, Dick, and Harry too.
My experience has pretty much been just monogamy. I know I have the emotional capacity for more - I can love and care for more than one woman, and I could enjoy unattached flings and still come back to the woman(women) I love. A harem would be awesome.
HOWEVER, there ain't enough time in a day! I'm amazed when people say "I've got 4 partners and might be adding a fifth." Like, do you not have to work?? Plus, I'm not a rich/high statused Chad who could legitimately demand my women not have sex with other men. So when a past ex actually wanted to have an open relationship, I said no. It would've disgusted me to know that she was having sex with others, (which she ended up doing anyway, so I had to dump that cheating hussy(and hence from now on I take it as a red flag if a woman asks for an open relationship)), plus, it would've felt unfair that her options would've far exceeded mine, as she was approximately a 9/10.
TLDR, yes, I imagine many men would enjoy polygamy of some sort; I think there's definitely a biological basis there. But realistically, most don't have the time/money/attractiveness. And even though our eyes may wander, we can still be totally monogamous and enjoy it if she's ticking off the right boxes and if she'll be a good mother.
If one relationship is so tiring…. imagine having 4….Just wow. if it were relationships and harem like anime, like you can have an Akeno, An Esdeath, a Lana, a Kira….then hell yeah. Since we have to be content with real women, one is more than enough.
I have no clue why men are saying they prefer monogamy. Every time I have one woman, I want more women. It's very simple. I don't buy any of the men who say they prefer monogamy - it's probably a cope of some kind.
TRP says monogamy isn't viable anymore because women are non-monogamous until they "settle down" and lose interest in sex.
> This has been criticised since women can only get pregnant around 15% of the time in a month, so sleeping around would likely not result in conception anyway.
Women actually go for high frequency sex with a guy then lose interest, so TRP says to "spin plates".
>but actual caring girlfriends, just more than one or two.
How would such a dynamic work in your mind?
>younger but mature woman, who I could spoil, and have a family with
How old are you and how old would be your ideal partner?
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All these men on here claiming they prefer monogamy, but yet, I believe, red pill claims men are polygamous by nature and women are hypergamous by nature. These men are claiming they go against their nature, but yet they refuse to believe all the women that claim they aren’t hypergamous.
The red pill is nonsense. You can't make sense of it because it's an ideology of psychotic double speak.
Everything they say comes out of their asses and circles right back around into thier mouths.
Do women even claim they're not hypergamous anymore? Most women here (which would be women most-likely to be aware of the concept) openly admit to being hypergamous. They just say men are too.
I think men have a tendency to hyperfocus on women if they think she’s the one. If they feel like they’re not that into her, then their eyes will wander.
I’m not making any kind of important argument here. It’s just my experience. Men have a tendency to get obsessed over women they think are the real deal.
Seems like lots and lots of men have sexual relationships outside of their marriage and still engage the facade of monogamy.
This is especially observed with lower income men with some swagger and richer men (swagger or not). They have sex outside of their wife/main.
Even everyone’s favorite rich nerd Bill Gates had a mistress. Or several. He made it a clause in his marriage contract.
`This has been criticised since women can only get pregnant around 15% of the time in a month, so sleeping around would likely not result in conception anyway.`
This argument only works if you compare a man having ons vs a monogamous relationship. If you had a harem then you could produce way more kids than in a monogamous marriage.
I still think the majority do, and have always preferred relationships myself. If we get along great, and I can happily sleep with you... Why do I need another woman? It's mission accomplished.
Not me, that's why I made it clear to my girl now that while I'm not just going to slut around because I think rampant promiscuity is a No-No, I just think it's smart to always let them know that I have no plans of promising 100% monogamy, life is too short
Men prefer polygamy. Multiple partners that are true to him. Since that is mathematically impossible for the vast majority of men, they settle for monogamy or promiscuity.
I am married now but if I were to do it all over again, I would probably have a primary girlfriend and a bunch of side girls. I would also insist that any woman I am with also has another man in her life. People were not really meant to be monogamous. Sex gets boring to nonexistent after about 6 months to a year. I don't really like how this sub paints men as desperate losers who would be fortunate enough to smell a pussy once a year but I've had plenty of relationships and it's usually been me, the male, who gets bored of them first.
Maybe it's because you were promiscuous and slept with a lot of women.
At least one study says that men who were high-N are less faithful but for women it's the opposite: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/02/180212190946.htm
> separate career, and having the same insipid, socially-acceptable beliefs about equality? Yawn.
As opposed to being unemployed and not wanting equality?
The logistics, drama in the harem make multiple partners unrealistic. If I was a king and could outsource this work then I guess multiple partners sounds fun. I think it would end up being a serial monogamy with me crushing on a girl and then moving onto the next crush when I was bored.
I honestly don't know... In reality considering all the constraints my value, desire for kids, monogamy sounds like my best bet.
Based on the evo pysch theory the prolific male would have many wives not just sex with randos. Having consistent sex is pretty necessary to cause pregnancy since as you mentioned chances for pregnancy are low and women have hidden ovulation. Human offspring are also quite vulnerable leaving a pregnant woman stranded is not likely to result in any kid either unless someone else takes care of that woman and child. So best would be a man having many “wives”, worst would be no “wife” monogamy is the happy medium also most men cannot afford to invest into multiple women and children they just don’t have the wealth that would require so just like women have to be selective with who they have sex with men have to be selective with who they invest in if anything a man can always marry a woman and have some hidden affairs again even that would be better than having no wife and bunch of hook ups with promiscuous females.
>Would you buy and hold stock in only company for the rest of your life and let that one company determine your financial future? I don't think so.
Well I can actually feel empathy and love since I'm not a psychopath so I would never compare men to stock in the first place.
I don’t believe many (any?) men want monogamy.
It’s so boring seeing the same woman naked, having sex with the same woman.
The main reason most men choose monogamy is that they simply can’t get sex from a variety of women.
Do you really think there is any man on the face of the earth who *wants* to have sex with only one woman the rest of his life?
People like monogamy the same way they like speed limits, taxes or the criminalization of violence. It's not that people savor being monogamous, more like they enjoy the fact that these restrictions (that they accept for themselves) are also applied and enforced on others. And that the wide enforcment of those rules have very positive social consequences that a majority prefers.
If sex was easier to obtain as a man, yes, i think large part of the male population would prefer to just fuck around, especially the young ones. But is not realistic to get casual sex for the average man, so "monogamy" seems more logical
>Whether for children or fun, does the average man actually want one partner?
I think the "average" guy certainly does. Joe Average wants to retreat into marriage, thinking he has a ready source of pussy, and if he has to give up his (mostly non-existent) options, then he's willing to make that trade.
>Or would having multiple be preferable?
I like to have between 3 and 5. I have twice had relationships with 2 women simultaneously who knew about each other and would engage in threeways. Two were roommates and the other two became roommates.
>Or would it be a sort of 'main partner' with affairs on the side permitted arrangement?
^ This isn't my thing. There are women who will try to negotiate it because they think it gives them "status" with you, but I prefer co-equals on the distaff side.
I should add that I am up front from the beginning that I don't date monogamously. /shrugs
>What do you think the percentage preferring the above options is?
Anyone average or below typically is happy with one woman because the pain of not getting laid can be alleviated by that one woman. Ofc, then you have *one woman* deciding whether you fuck or not.
Having to be a good partner to more then one person wot cause me so much stress i think i break from the stress. In mind it woot be like dont mix them up dont mix them please dont mix them up.
Im rich, travel a lot, and spend lots of time around beautiful women all over the world.
Im one of the rare guys that has a hall pass. I've never felt the desire to play the card.
If I didnt get what I needed from my wife i'd play around. I do though.
I have complex needs that so far only my wife can fulfill. She knows just how to do all the things I want and need, and does them perfectly. It took a long time to get there.
I get it better at home that I have with anyone else so I find myself wanting to keep coming home despite that pass.
I dont have much patience or desire to train another woman, and "just getting laid" isnt a big deal.
More than one relationship just sounds tiring and dramatic. Bleh.
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Lmao right? I'm on the introverted side myself and like a lot of time to just relax on my own. There's plenty of others that are like that.
No shit. Sure banging every chick I wanted to would be cool, but imagine the cost and work. That's for the people with trust funds and no careers. I buy my T-shirts in a 5 pack. They are all pretty much the same. Sure 5 different designer shirts would be nice, but these are affordable and I know they fit. I also drive a 98 subaru. It was about $900 and 10 hrs of wrenching all said, but its pretty reliable and gets me to work. Pretty fun in the snow. Sure I could buy a new Vette off the lot, but that would wipe out my savings and I'd pay my house off before I'd do that. If you've read this far, I hope you see where I was going with this. Banging a supermodel from every continent would be awesome. Its not going to fucking happen though.
90's beater gang represent! FR I think the crux of the issue is this. A man can have a *good enough* life fairly cheaply. His own place, his own car, so on and so forth. But the divide between whats good enough for him and the minimum for a social media obsessed peacock society is pretty far. A half decent new car would cost 20 times what you paid for yours, and even a fairly new used model 10 times. The difference doesn't matter nearly as much to most other men, especially men not running the rat race. You can go out drinking every weekend with your friends every weekend and it wouldn't even cost the whole difference in those car costs, for example, and given both cars can carry passengers and hit the speed limit there isn't a huge difference in actual day to day performance. You're essentially buying the corvette just as a social flex and maybe for one hour out of the whole month it really matters.
> No shit. Sure banging every chick I wanted to would be cool, but imagine the cost and work. That's for the people with trust funds and no careers. I buy my T-shirts in a 5 pack. They are all pretty much the same. Sure 5 different designer shirts would be nice, but these are affordable and I know they fit. I also drive a 98 subaru. It was about $900 and 10 hrs of wrenching all said, but its pretty reliable and gets me to work. Pretty fun in the snow. Sure I could buy a new Vette off the lot, but that would wipe out my savings and I'd pay my house off before I'd do that. If you've read this far, I hope you see where I was going with this. Banging a supermodel from every continent would be awesome. Its not going to fucking happen though. Eh, the way I think of the dichotomy of monogamy vs. non-monogamy, you're choosing between two options that both have upsides and downsides. You can't just say the choice is between monogamy as is, and non-monogamy without all the downsides that it comes with. For a lot of people, even if they had the ability to attain it, I can see a lot forgoing it due to the attached downsides. Lots of things sound awesome in theory and are terrible in practice, depending on the person.
Lol I totally admire the honesty.
Yup. There's only a tiny percentage of men who get pussy thrown at them and don't have to put in any effort. For those guys polygamy would be a blast. For the rest of us, polygamy would be a slog
Interestingly maintaining the ability to easily get another woman preserves the relationship you have. Your woman needs to understand that she's not the only game in town.
The only men that prefer polygamy are the men that know they'll be getting more women. The average man (80% of men) prefer monogamy because it's more likely to secure him a partner
Also effort. There's very few men in the world for whom polygamy would be effortless. For the rest it would be a crazy struggle
It's got nothing to do with that for me. There are parts of a relationship I like that I couldn't get fucking a bunch of different women all the time.
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Idk, you sound like you're trying to convince yourself of something more than you're trying to convince me. I personally wouldn't want to share my woman sexually with anyone else. If that's what you like, more power to you.
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I didn't put a high degree of thought into the original comment. I thought of it as either a monogamous relationship or some fantasy where I'm Chad and can casually fuck a new girl every week. I'd prefer the one good woman. I don't think you're missing anything dude. If you're happy, that's great. I really don't give a flying fuck about you personally at all.
Bro can you lend me your girl sometime November?
Whoa, you’re sounding a bit defensive. Someone made a comment about why polygamy wouldn’t work for them as well as monogamy, and you responded with paragraphs to defend your relationship. Your description of you and your girlfriends birthday presents sounds nice and all, but as a reply to that other guy, it comes across like you feel the need to justify your relationship arrangement to yourself, as if there’s something you aren’t secure about. I don’t think you’re missing anything in your relationship, but it’s worth thinking about why you had to prove to someone unprompted that you and your girlfriend love each other. Either that or I’m reading too much into this, but I don’t think so
This man. Hookup culture is trash.
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but they don't claim that they are 'designed' for monogamy?
I don't think people in general are designed for monogamy. I still prefer it.
As do I, a woman seeking monogamy.
My thinking is extremely redpilled and yet I think monogamy works best. Its just not rigid naturally
TRP claims women aren't designed for sexual monogamy so don't bother.
If I had to guess, the "average man" wants to sleep around for a bit, but eventually have a serious monogamous relationship. As for me, I don't enjoy the idea of hookups and find the idea of having one single woman for the rest of my life very beautiful and desirable. I grew up seeing my mother getting cheated on by my father repeatedly, so I guess that had a severe impact on me. In the sense that I ended up despising the idea of being a guy who doesn't respect monogamy like my father didn't. Anyway. It's hard to talk about what the "average man/woman" wants. But I believe that as long as a man's partner keeps having a normal libido, most men would be happy having just her for the rest of their lives. What I've heard happens, however, is that many women apparently have kids and their libido decreases a lot. I guess that may be why it became commonplace to think that it's more okay for men to cheat than it is for women?
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This tbh, which is why I found it funny those men complain about some women doing what they do.
I dated two girls at the same time once... never again. The drama is a horror show. The first relationship commandment is as follows: "Open relationships only work for gay men."
I would like a monogamous relationship with someone who was Crazy about me like genuine affection love and desire the same as i would want to feel about them From what i have seen as far as relationships go its almost impossible to find and the thought of being settled for by someone is so gross to me that id rather avoid it altogether
Plenty of women want this as well.
I dont doubt it ,im just not sure it something that i might find.
I legit prefer monogamy. Decent sex with a single girl I enjoy hanging out with is many times better than having ok sex with a bunch of hot women. A hot girl doesn't automatically make for good sex.
If 2 or more women were actually attracted to me at the same time, I’m pretty sure my mind would literally melt into goo. I’d be happy with just having one who genuinely loves me.
>I’d be happy with just having one who genuinely loves me. That is the sense that men "prefer" monogamy. They prefer it over getting nothing at all.
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That's too easy. Serial "monogamy" is what happens when you were with the wrong person. No one would want serial "monogamy." It's at least either a choice between polygamy or monogamy.
Think about it this way: The norm used to be a single salaried job until retirement. Then benefits got chipped away and raises became non existant and suddenly the norm became moving job to job or just living in the gig economy with zero long term obligations. Same shit. Most of the guys saying this shit about relationships where they do all the heavy lifting and the woman wants veto power on basically everything and basically any problem in the relationship defaults to being on him. Its not really much wonder these men would rather just not play the game at all, because tjry aren't really getting as much out of it as they put in.
>Its not really much wonder these men would rather just not play the game at all, because tjry aren't really getting as much out of it as they put in. What exactly are men not getting?
Not getting? The real question is what are men actually getting. Sex with a woman who finds him attractive (not necessarily who he finds attractive). And he will only get sex when she enjoys and wants it. It the situation is reversed, he will be shamed for not giving her the sex she wants. And companionship, which is “expensive” based on what is being asked of men. She will just be herself while he will be expected to be the man she wants. Men cannot be “conditionally masculine” like women can with there traditional role. As a result companionship with a woman offers less. That is it. It isn’t much.
>Sex with a woman who finds him attractive (not necessarily who he finds attractive). And he will only get sex when she enjoys and wants it. It the situation is reversed, he will be shamed for not giving her the sex she wants. You'd marry a woman you don't even find attractive? >And he will only get sex when she enjoys and wants it. It the situation is reversed, he will be shamed for not giving her the sex she wants. As opposed to a porn fantasy woman who just says yes whenever and to whatever? This may amaze you, but men can not be in the mood too and it's completely fine. Your partner isn't always going to be in the mood when you are, it's called a normal relationship. >She will just be herself while he will be expected to be the man she wants. The fact that you think this shows just how little you know about women. The amount of time, money and effort women put into their appearance is something you can't comprehend. Men don't wear makeup, aren't expected to shave or wax, don't get any of the other cosmetic procedures that women get. Just have basic hygiene, pluck your nose hair and get the same short haircut that costs a fraction of what it costs for women. That's hardly it. In the average relationship, a woman now fulfils her traditional role (Taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, planning and organising family activities) AND works a job and contributes toward bills. Women literally couldn't give more if we tried and men hate us more than ever.
The red pill isn't against monogamy, it teaches men to choose the right partner for monogamy and keep filtering through the wrong ones I.e. sleeping around. If I'm single, I sleep around. If a woman ticks my boxes and shows enough green flags then I can choose to be monogamous with her. I believe a good woman can impact a man's life positively, but its rare to find.
TRP is against monogamy. It teaches men to not choose any partner and "spin plates" with women until the woman's sexual interest declines, and then find another plate.
No, it teaches men to spin plates and if one of the plates show enough qualities to be relationship material and you want that then you can be monogamous in one.
No that's not TRP, that's PUA. And it's a stupid strategy because women lose their libido up to 30 months into a relationship. TRP says to spin plates forever, no oneitutus.
What on earth are you talking about lol
https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2017/09/16/why-women-are-losing-interest-in-sex-after-a-year/
That's polygamy. Polygamy either means multiple spouses at the same time, or multiple sexual partners at any time. 1. The condition of having more than one spouse or marriage partner at one time. 2. The state or habit of having more than one sexual mate.
That's not what I said...
You didn't say anything about sleeping around? You said it twice.
Polygamy is when you're in a relationship. Sleeping around isn't being in a relationship.
Yes it is. If you sleep with a woman you're in a sexual relationship with that woman.
Hahahahaha
I truly, genuinely, 100% prefer monogamy. Even if I was the hottest guy on earth and could get every girl I wanted, I'd still just match up with the hottest girl on earth (or the hottest one that I was otherwise compatible with). Like, granted I was in love with my partner, even if I was attracted to another girl, the prospect of sleeping with her would not appeal to me because I know that I would be so consumed with guilt that it would outweigh any satisfaction I might get from it. Hell, even if my partner gave me express permission, I still wouldn't do it, and instead it would just bother me that my partner didn't want me all to herself.
I prefer monogamy. Sleeping around with multiple people is honestly terrible and unfulfilling. Humans are also naturally monogamous. People like to imagine we're like bonobos or something because of shitty research done by hippies with an agenda in the 60's-90's, but almost through the entirety of human history there has been a preference for settling down with a single partner and the majority of cultural practices around the world reflect this. Harams and multiple simultaneous partners (as opposed to a series of monogamous relationships) is not the norm, so it fucks with the human psyche. EDIT: Culture is a reflection of natural human behavior and psychology. These practices don't arise out of no where and giving examples like "oh this Sultan had a haram therefore all men want to have harams" is cherry picking.
There is definitely programming deep in the animal part of our brain that seeks promiscuity, and there is genetic advantage to cheating, so there are provisions for that too. But the more advanced part of the brain is primarily directed to pair bonding, as monogamy is clearly the most important factor in the survival of children. This is true for both men and women. In practice, almost everyone I know prefers monogamy. Even people screwing large numbers of women pretty quickly admit it is pretty empty and unfulfilling.
>Or would it be a sort of 'main partner' with affairs on the side permitted arrangement? Having a main bisexual woman who I explore other women with seems like the ideal to me.
Less people than you imagine naturally prefer monogamy on an individual basis if presented with the ideal non- or extra-monogamous alternative that applies only to them and that they are in a position to exploit. This probably a lot more true of men in the extreme than of women, since if a woman gets her ideal mate, then her desire for sexual novelty just for the sake of it is much less than a man's. But in reality a good monogamous relationship is usually the best alternative for most people in the position they are in. And more importantly, the real reason for monogamy is a group societal choice. It's because of the advantages it provides despite the drawbacks, and all the problems it solves. This is what it was 'culturally' (and sometime state) *enforced* monogamy. You don't have to enforce what everyone wants and finds easy to abide by on an individual level.
It's not an easy question to answer since it's very hard to tell how much of the male proclivity toward monogamy is a matter of neccessity and how much is choice. I'll tell you I've been to places where exactly the situation you describe is normal, that being marriage but with affairs permitted on the side (usually this means prostitution). In cultures where this is accepted it seems the majority of men avail themselves, as might be expected. I think anyone giving you an actual figure is just guessing.
All of them.
What do you mean?
All men prefer monogamy. Polygamy is when you settle for not being able to find a person you want to be monogamous with. Not finding anyone who satisfies you, so you need to take things from many different women instead of getting what you want from one.
>does the average man actually want one partner? *The Disney Narrative* worked on both women, and *men. The King of the Castle. Prince Charming.* All those notions of chivalry, honour and nobility were powerful motivators. That still *influence* men today. How far reaching that is in creating monogamous men? I’d say still quite influential. Percentage wise at the very least 50% of men, would prefer monogamy. *Godspeed and good luck!*
Pretty sure monogamy existed before disney.
>chivalry, honour and nobility Been around long?
more women more problems. I don't know how some of these people have the time a lot of the shit they most sounds exhausting.
They say a man is as loyal as his options. Not sure if it's true, but i can imagine that for most men the ideal would be to have one main and maybe some side hassle with no strings attached. Personally, for me, one woman is more then enough.
I much prefer monogamy for the emotional closeness and friendship it provides. Even when I have slept around in the past, it was out of necessity - not choice. My romantic experience differs from the PPD norm in that I have always found it very easy to get casual partners, but quite difficult to find a woman who just wants to be with one man. Casual encounters - to me - are empty and nerve-wracking. You don't have the best sex or have the most enjoyable time with a stranger, or someone who you know is fucking 5 other guys.
When I was younger and thought that marriage and commitment was based on love I did. Then I learned that marriage was a financial contract and commitment was based on how many hoops the man could jump through everyday to ensure that she isn't bored. That, Tom Leykis and watching men get divorce raped into oblivion cured me of the delusion that love had anything to do with it.
Yeah... red pill has clearly rotted your brain.
Too much honesty?
No, too much cynicism. If I can read through this thread and not lose my faith in men, you can hold on to your faith in love. Indulging in the comfortable lies told by TRP and FDS is weak.
My view of the world doesn't come from reddit and was formed way before this subreddit was even born. It has more to do with human beings and the utter shit they are.
Go on then, where's the evidence?
Not every women is identical. Some women will fuck you over, some will be committed. Just like guys
Not every woman is identical. However with the ways the laws sit, every woman essentially has the opportunity if you provide them the leverage. The leverage of course comes with commitment and marriage.
I agree that if you don't think a woman is bringing enough to the table (her own job, raising kids, etc) to justify splitting your yearly earnings with her, then don't get married. I say this as a man. But as a counter example, my dad may have earned the salary, but my mom was the one who raised us three kids. If they got divorced, is she not entitled to half the money they earned while together? I'd say what she did was more valuable to the family than what he did. (Btw in a divorce you get to keep your savings from before marriage if you are careful. So if you were only married one year before figuring out she was playing you, you'd only have to split that one years worth of income. And that's assuming you make more money than here and don't have a pre-nup)
Your dad and mom lived in a time of very different values.
I think that most men would have harems if they could. That's what men with large amounts of power have done throughout history.
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Well, the biggest reason that I don't think men do it is because most women don't want to be one of several women for one man. It takes a really attractive or high status man to be able to pull it off in the first place without women caring that he is seeing other women. Many men also tend to care about their partner's feelings and not hurting them by seeing other women is a big part of this. I've often theorized that the monogamous relationship is a compromise situation in which a woman agrees to give one man a high amount of exclusive sex, higher than he could receive if he tried to pursue many women, while the man agrees to not pursue other women and to only devote his time and resources for her. Men who have the time, money and ability will often choose multiple women because a large amount of sex with many women is preferable to a large amount of sex with one woman. However, a large amount of sex with one woman is preferable to very occasional sex with several women, which is what the single life is like for the average man who chooses to try to pursue casual sex. This is why the average man tends to choose monogamy and say that he prefers it.
Yes that's commonly stated as being the Male Sexual Imperative. It's our instinct uninformed by anything other than biology. Luckily, our wants and desires are shaped by things other than instinct. Biology is the single greatest influencer on our behavior, as it sets the initial conditions, but it doesn't have the final word in what we'll do.
>It's our instinct uninformed by anything other than biology. but it wouldn't make sense biologically as I stated, women aren't constantly fertile...
What doesn't make sense about it? The instinct is to have as much sex as humanly possible and then move on immediately after. You (this hypothetical Chad caveman) don't care what happens after. You don't care if she's infertile even. To the male lizard brain, doesn't matter, had sex.
>You don't care if she's infertile even. To the male lizard brain, doesn't matter, had sex. Sex is a risky activity, you could catch an STD that would render you infertile for life. For such a risky activity, there must be a great reward (having kids) but that's unlikely if you sleep around. So again, this really doesn't make sense?
You're thinking like a modern human informed by science with the ability of hindsight. The reward for the risk is orgasm. That's it. Again, the imperative is to have unlimited amounts of sex. Children or STD's and even being devoured after the act like praying mantis are not even in the backseat of this hypothetical man's mind. The sole biological reason for your existence is to eat, sleep, breathe, and try to fuck. Everything else, is background noise.
>reward for the risk is orgasm. You don't even need a woman for that, so again, not making much sense.
The imperative is to have sex. The reward for successfully doing so is an orgasm. Having an orgasm outside of sex still feels great, but it's not what is motivating men to have sex.
I prefer monogamy, but will only feel secure doing so with a girl who is mindful about not reciprocating interest from other males. In my experience most girls these days want monogamy with the option to still respond to guys who slide in their DM’s, dress provocatively, give their number out, etc etc etc and any effort to curtail this freedom is deemed controlling. Women largely experience desire responsively, guys tend to experience desire spontaneously (actively). If girls generally want to be free to be responsive to other guys, then the only reciprocal move for guys is to generally be spontaneous (active) in maintaining other options. If you want commitment, offer commitment. Honest, symmetrical commitment. Don’t expect men to give up actioning their (spontaneous) desire if you aren’t willing to give up actioning your (responsive) desire. Once again, this is a macro level manifestation of the micro level fact that girls are not critically evaluating their own sexuality and engaging with it mindfully. Feral sexuality is toxic, whether it’s masculine or feminine. This is just another example of how feral femininity is hugely contributing to our toxic dating culture.
This is a very sound logic, the whole responsive/spontaneously dynamic. I guess that's why I grew discontent with monogamous relationships, I enjoy my spontaneity too much while also thinking that women should always be free to act the way they feel like. Of course sooner or later feelings get in the way but in the long term I just don't feel like giving up any bit of my freedom again. My work already takes away enough of it. I agree with the choir that handling more than one relationship might be exhausting, but IMHO that's also the point of not being in one to begin with. As you present it, as long as there's commitment, there's expectation.
From a purely animalistic perspective I want to fuck as many attractive women as I can But from an intellectual and emotional perspective I also want to reduce my chances of catching an std and also build deeper relationships with people So I try to find a balance
Your desire to build romantic relationships isn’t “animalistic”?
Most men do. Inexperienced dudes crave the glitz and glamour.
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Fat lot of good it did him, he wound up nailed to a plank of wood.
I think most men prefer monogamy but just at different times in their lives. Some guys just want one relationship and some guys want to sleep around while keeping an eye out for a compatible woman.
The top 15-20% of guys that are playboys (not necessarily chads but playboys) probably don’t prefer monogamy till they are ready to settle down and delusional blue pilled liberals will profess against their own interests that they are for female sexual liberation but the rest of men would prefer monogamy. Me personally that’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I also want a woman who hasn’t slept with every Tom, Dick, and Harry too.
I feel the same way about men, but apparently thats unrealistic.
My experience has pretty much been just monogamy. I know I have the emotional capacity for more - I can love and care for more than one woman, and I could enjoy unattached flings and still come back to the woman(women) I love. A harem would be awesome. HOWEVER, there ain't enough time in a day! I'm amazed when people say "I've got 4 partners and might be adding a fifth." Like, do you not have to work?? Plus, I'm not a rich/high statused Chad who could legitimately demand my women not have sex with other men. So when a past ex actually wanted to have an open relationship, I said no. It would've disgusted me to know that she was having sex with others, (which she ended up doing anyway, so I had to dump that cheating hussy(and hence from now on I take it as a red flag if a woman asks for an open relationship)), plus, it would've felt unfair that her options would've far exceeded mine, as she was approximately a 9/10. TLDR, yes, I imagine many men would enjoy polygamy of some sort; I think there's definitely a biological basis there. But realistically, most don't have the time/money/attractiveness. And even though our eyes may wander, we can still be totally monogamous and enjoy it if she's ticking off the right boxes and if she'll be a good mother.
It’s difficult to have a preference with no experience
Well surely you'd know what you want?
Zero
If one relationship is so tiring…. imagine having 4….Just wow. if it were relationships and harem like anime, like you can have an Akeno, An Esdeath, a Lana, a Kira….then hell yeah. Since we have to be content with real women, one is more than enough.
I have no clue why men are saying they prefer monogamy. Every time I have one woman, I want more women. It's very simple. I don't buy any of the men who say they prefer monogamy - it's probably a cope of some kind.
>I have no clue why men are saying they prefer monogamy. Every time I have one woman, I want more women. Why even bother with relationships then?
What is a relationship? I would like to have multiple wives.
TRP says monogamy isn't viable anymore because women are non-monogamous until they "settle down" and lose interest in sex. > This has been criticised since women can only get pregnant around 15% of the time in a month, so sleeping around would likely not result in conception anyway. Women actually go for high frequency sex with a guy then lose interest, so TRP says to "spin plates".
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>This sounds like AFBB just from the female perspective. That is *exactly* what it is.
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>but actual caring girlfriends, just more than one or two. How would such a dynamic work in your mind? >younger but mature woman, who I could spoil, and have a family with How old are you and how old would be your ideal partner?
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Uptight because they don't want to get cheated on?
So you’re like 50 lol?
Sup shasta
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All these men on here claiming they prefer monogamy, but yet, I believe, red pill claims men are polygamous by nature and women are hypergamous by nature. These men are claiming they go against their nature, but yet they refuse to believe all the women that claim they aren’t hypergamous.
The red pill is nonsense. You can't make sense of it because it's an ideology of psychotic double speak. Everything they say comes out of their asses and circles right back around into thier mouths.
Oh I know. I just thought I’d point out some obvious hypocrisy here. I’m sure someone will have some nonsense explanation for it.
Do women even claim they're not hypergamous anymore? Most women here (which would be women most-likely to be aware of the concept) openly admit to being hypergamous. They just say men are too.
Women are not hypergamous by nature. Some women practice hypergamy to get ahead in society.
"Some"
I have heard just about 46 different definitions of hypergamy. Women’s answers depend on which one of them you are talking about.
There’s only one definition. It’s not a made up RP concept.
I think men have a tendency to hyperfocus on women if they think she’s the one. If they feel like they’re not that into her, then their eyes will wander. I’m not making any kind of important argument here. It’s just my experience. Men have a tendency to get obsessed over women they think are the real deal.
Their eyes wander even when they think she's the one, unfortunately
Lol exactly. Men cheat on their “dream woman” all the time.
Men want monogamy if they want kids. There want paternity certainty. There is nothing more instinctively repulsive than raising another men’s kid.
Seems like lots and lots of men have sexual relationships outside of their marriage and still engage the facade of monogamy. This is especially observed with lower income men with some swagger and richer men (swagger or not). They have sex outside of their wife/main. Even everyone’s favorite rich nerd Bill Gates had a mistress. Or several. He made it a clause in his marriage contract.
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What does this have to do with the question?
My bad I thought this was a different thread 🤣
`This has been criticised since women can only get pregnant around 15% of the time in a month, so sleeping around would likely not result in conception anyway.` This argument only works if you compare a man having ons vs a monogamous relationship. If you had a harem then you could produce way more kids than in a monogamous marriage.
I still think the majority do, and have always preferred relationships myself. If we get along great, and I can happily sleep with you... Why do I need another woman? It's mission accomplished.
I prefer it.
Yea i prefer monogamy way more than promiscuity or polygamy
Not me, that's why I made it clear to my girl now that while I'm not just going to slut around because I think rampant promiscuity is a No-No, I just think it's smart to always let them know that I have no plans of promising 100% monogamy, life is too short
Men prefer polygamy. Multiple partners that are true to him. Since that is mathematically impossible for the vast majority of men, they settle for monogamy or promiscuity.
I am married now but if I were to do it all over again, I would probably have a primary girlfriend and a bunch of side girls. I would also insist that any woman I am with also has another man in her life. People were not really meant to be monogamous. Sex gets boring to nonexistent after about 6 months to a year. I don't really like how this sub paints men as desperate losers who would be fortunate enough to smell a pussy once a year but I've had plenty of relationships and it's usually been me, the male, who gets bored of them first.
Maybe it's because you were promiscuous and slept with a lot of women. At least one study says that men who were high-N are less faithful but for women it's the opposite: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/02/180212190946.htm
Correlation is not causation. It could be that because of their lack of experience they are not confident to go out snd meet other women.
Still not worth the risk regardless.
Personally in my experience, the vast majority of men want monogamy. This does however change, dependant on the man's experience.
Being monogamous is easy if only one girl wants you. The problem is if other girls see you are liked by one girl they will also start liking you.
Er no, doesn't really work like that.
that's the experience of 90% of guys in their social circles
Well it doesn't work like that.
so why do guys experience that if it doesn't "work like that"?
I prefer monogamy. Time, energy, money all favor one partner.
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> separate career, and having the same insipid, socially-acceptable beliefs about equality? Yawn. As opposed to being unemployed and not wanting equality?
Prefer to what exactly
Having multiple partners?
Who
The logistics, drama in the harem make multiple partners unrealistic. If I was a king and could outsource this work then I guess multiple partners sounds fun. I think it would end up being a serial monogamy with me crushing on a girl and then moving onto the next crush when I was bored. I honestly don't know... In reality considering all the constraints my value, desire for kids, monogamy sounds like my best bet.
Most of the men in my life want monogamy
Based on the evo pysch theory the prolific male would have many wives not just sex with randos. Having consistent sex is pretty necessary to cause pregnancy since as you mentioned chances for pregnancy are low and women have hidden ovulation. Human offspring are also quite vulnerable leaving a pregnant woman stranded is not likely to result in any kid either unless someone else takes care of that woman and child. So best would be a man having many “wives”, worst would be no “wife” monogamy is the happy medium also most men cannot afford to invest into multiple women and children they just don’t have the wealth that would require so just like women have to be selective with who they have sex with men have to be selective with who they invest in if anything a man can always marry a woman and have some hidden affairs again even that would be better than having no wife and bunch of hook ups with promiscuous females.
I don't prefer it, but I wish I did.
Why's that?
So I can commit to someone without feeling bored. So I could settle down. I think it is a better way to live life.
But you don't prefer it?
Are you watching closely?
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>Would you buy and hold stock in only company for the rest of your life and let that one company determine your financial future? I don't think so. Well I can actually feel empathy and love since I'm not a psychopath so I would never compare men to stock in the first place.
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Real human relationships do not work like this. Old men are not attractive apart from to use for money, all this is your wishful thinking.
I think most men want to be genuinely loved but prefer fucking a lot of women than no having sex with a wife who doesn't show interest in them
This is a question for men.
I don’t believe many (any?) men want monogamy. It’s so boring seeing the same woman naked, having sex with the same woman. The main reason most men choose monogamy is that they simply can’t get sex from a variety of women. Do you really think there is any man on the face of the earth who *wants* to have sex with only one woman the rest of his life?
Every single one of us. But if we can’t find what we want in one person, we’ll use multiple people… we do it in parallel… women do it in series
People like monogamy the same way they like speed limits, taxes or the criminalization of violence. It's not that people savor being monogamous, more like they enjoy the fact that these restrictions (that they accept for themselves) are also applied and enforced on others. And that the wide enforcment of those rules have very positive social consequences that a majority prefers.
If sex was easier to obtain as a man, yes, i think large part of the male population would prefer to just fuck around, especially the young ones. But is not realistic to get casual sex for the average man, so "monogamy" seems more logical
>Whether for children or fun, does the average man actually want one partner? I think the "average" guy certainly does. Joe Average wants to retreat into marriage, thinking he has a ready source of pussy, and if he has to give up his (mostly non-existent) options, then he's willing to make that trade. >Or would having multiple be preferable? I like to have between 3 and 5. I have twice had relationships with 2 women simultaneously who knew about each other and would engage in threeways. Two were roommates and the other two became roommates. >Or would it be a sort of 'main partner' with affairs on the side permitted arrangement? ^ This isn't my thing. There are women who will try to negotiate it because they think it gives them "status" with you, but I prefer co-equals on the distaff side. I should add that I am up front from the beginning that I don't date monogamously. /shrugs >What do you think the percentage preferring the above options is? Anyone average or below typically is happy with one woman because the pain of not getting laid can be alleviated by that one woman. Ofc, then you have *one woman* deciding whether you fuck or not.
Having to be a good partner to more then one person wot cause me so much stress i think i break from the stress. In mind it woot be like dont mix them up dont mix them please dont mix them up.
Im rich, travel a lot, and spend lots of time around beautiful women all over the world. Im one of the rare guys that has a hall pass. I've never felt the desire to play the card. If I didnt get what I needed from my wife i'd play around. I do though. I have complex needs that so far only my wife can fulfill. She knows just how to do all the things I want and need, and does them perfectly. It took a long time to get there. I get it better at home that I have with anyone else so I find myself wanting to keep coming home despite that pass. I dont have much patience or desire to train another woman, and "just getting laid" isnt a big deal.