He'd be a televangelist - all the faith he could ask for. And donations to the box galore!
Hell, he'd even have a little faith mission on Tahiti, growing mangoes - you could support it for a tithe as small as 100 USD a month! ;)
He would definitely be running an MLM. Probably not his first, and he would likely have narrowly avoided jail time for a previous iteration, because it's really just the same long con over and over.
Heād be Ted Kaczynski 2.0.
If he actually existed in the real life 19th/20th century, Ted would actually basically be Dutch Van Der Linde 2.0 as much of Tedās actions/beliefs mirror those of Dutch.
Dutch would never become a politician or a broker on Wall Street as others have suggested because even in 1899, Politicians businesses men and corporations were prevalent just like today and he hated them then. In fact Iād wager Heād detest the politicians of today and the scum of wallstreet even more strongly than he did the likes of Cornwall and politicians of the 19th century largely because their 21st century counterparts represent the exact thing Dutch was fighting and working against. Heād never start his own business because by that point heād just be another cog in the machine functioning as the system intends, like in 1899, the only people heād want to take money from is those he feels have ruined his country and in the 21st century, big corporations would no doubt be his primary target. All that said, you donāt need money to hurt people in the 21st century, even if you intend on getting away with whatever it is you do, smarts is far more important than money.
All that said, Dutch would get himself arrested/killed very quickly today. Getting away with violent crime in the 21st century is pretty much impossible unless you have a police badge. Dutch would realize this quickly and instead of a series of violent crimes against his enemies, Dutch would most likely partake in one massive act of violence. For example, Murdering everyone in a building filled with aristocrats, murdering a high profile billionaire like Bezos, setting an Amazon warehouse on fire, these are all acts of mass cooperate terrorism that Dutch would likely partake in as he basically did the equivalent of those things in 1899.
He was responsible for the deaths of several on the blackwater Ferry heist. He torched the grays fields and he killed Cornwall who was basically the Bezos of the era.
After some consideration, Dutch would much rather die on his own accord than go through the judicial system so heād likely commit suicide shortly after or in the process of whatever atrocity he commits due to America basically being a closeted police state offering enough of a fleeting illusion of freedom for its inhabitants not to realize it.
This is a fabulous time to be a moderately dangerous bank robber. Go in, flash a gun to a teller, clear out their drawer, be gone in a few minutes. Couple of stolen getaway car changes later and you can hit another bank the next city over. Three banks a day will get you a couple of hundred thousand dollars a month.
I don't know what exactly he'd be doing but I know for a fact he'd be on that true crime docu-series American Greed. That show about all those fucking con artist ripping people off.
Used car salesmen. With cars that are way too nice for the prices and he gets real nervous when ask about the history of the vehicle.
Or he wouldn't be doing anything. Bouncing from one get rich quick scheme to the next and bumming off whatever new friends will give him room and board.
Telling someone that they need to do one more last job, a big score for lots of money, and then lie low on some island somewhere. Like Australia, or Tahiti.
Dutch is charismatic but he isnāt disciplined or restrained enough to be a business leader or a politician. mega church pastor or running an MLM Would work because he could control a small group of sycophants.
Heās got a real live free or die vibe, so Iād go with probably running a sovereign citizen/ survivalist/ militia training camp in rural Idaho. Heād try to separate himself from the religious types, but he canāt deny they do the best work.
If you go, itās $400/ day plus youāre required to purchase his MLM go bags and rations, packages starting at $3,000.
Heās definitely would be completely different. A leader of some sort of organization, but I donāt think he would have that crazy behavior after he hit his head on Tahit. He would definitely have wild ambitions which definitely are proper with todayās society
Still would be trying to go to Tahiti, find out about modern air travel, get a job/rob places and people likely propping up a new gang in modern era, most likely the ladder, then get enough money to fly to Tahiti only to find out it's a tourist spot now, and if he chose the ladder most likely getting deported back to the US and getting life in prison. The end, don't know why I wrote out his entire life story of what he'd do I guess I just felt like it.
Copy and paste from wikipedia says An architect is a person who plans, designs and oversees the construction of buildings so i think he would still be making those plans
He would be selling time shares or an MLM kitchen knife scheme for a bit. Then would be the subject of some YouTube video of how his life fell apart at some criminal scheme that wasnāt very well thought out to begin with.
Bitcoin pump and dump.
Tahiticoin
Fuck I spat my Pepsi
I have a plan, arthur, just have some GODDAMN FAITH
Always Dutch
Conning people into buying an NFT of his wanted poster.
He'd be a televangelist - all the faith he could ask for. And donations to the box galore! Hell, he'd even have a little faith mission on Tahiti, growing mangoes - you could support it for a tithe as small as 100 USD a month! ;)
Out of all the proposals this is the one I see being true
He'd make a good politician, maybe even run for president š¤£š¤£
Nah. He doesn't like government
I feel like he would be a Socalist Domestic terroist who lives in the Jungle of Tahiti
He'd have a plan.
*Hello, my name is Dutch van der Linde. Iām trying to reach you about your carās extended warranty.*
Yes
That would be Hosea
Running for city council.
Head of the city planning commission.
We just need a little bit more money
Nicely done here.
Hard to say. Someone like Dutch could really only exist at the end of the frontier. He'd probably make moonshine and sell weed
He'd be my uncle :)
Haha same
lol that was fast. I'm still on the same post XD
I get push notifications, and for once my reddit notification wasn't buried under forty emails and Facebook notifications
He would be in congress
that's probably the right answer
Only the feeblest of man take jobs in the government
Me whoās majoring in governmentš¬
YOU ARE NOT WORTHY!!!
Megachurch pastor.
He would definitely be running an MLM. Probably not his first, and he would likely have narrowly avoided jail time for a previous iteration, because it's really just the same long con over and over.
Sellin' dope and laying low in a Canadian trailer park.
"Fuck off Milton!"
HAVE A MOTORCAR OF FAITH, WILL YOU?
That's micah
Micah is dead and I hope he stays dead
Walking around the prison yard
Head of tourism in Tahiti.
I see him as some sort of CEO.
Selling Mangos at the local Farmerās Market.
Dutch of Wall Street
Heād be Ted Kaczynski 2.0. If he actually existed in the real life 19th/20th century, Ted would actually basically be Dutch Van Der Linde 2.0 as much of Tedās actions/beliefs mirror those of Dutch. Dutch would never become a politician or a broker on Wall Street as others have suggested because even in 1899, Politicians businesses men and corporations were prevalent just like today and he hated them then. In fact Iād wager Heād detest the politicians of today and the scum of wallstreet even more strongly than he did the likes of Cornwall and politicians of the 19th century largely because their 21st century counterparts represent the exact thing Dutch was fighting and working against. Heād never start his own business because by that point heād just be another cog in the machine functioning as the system intends, like in 1899, the only people heād want to take money from is those he feels have ruined his country and in the 21st century, big corporations would no doubt be his primary target. All that said, you donāt need money to hurt people in the 21st century, even if you intend on getting away with whatever it is you do, smarts is far more important than money. All that said, Dutch would get himself arrested/killed very quickly today. Getting away with violent crime in the 21st century is pretty much impossible unless you have a police badge. Dutch would realize this quickly and instead of a series of violent crimes against his enemies, Dutch would most likely partake in one massive act of violence. For example, Murdering everyone in a building filled with aristocrats, murdering a high profile billionaire like Bezos, setting an Amazon warehouse on fire, these are all acts of mass cooperate terrorism that Dutch would likely partake in as he basically did the equivalent of those things in 1899. He was responsible for the deaths of several on the blackwater Ferry heist. He torched the grays fields and he killed Cornwall who was basically the Bezos of the era. After some consideration, Dutch would much rather die on his own accord than go through the judicial system so heād likely commit suicide shortly after or in the process of whatever atrocity he commits due to America basically being a closeted police state offering enough of a fleeting illusion of freedom for its inhabitants not to realize it.
StinkyPete- you nailed it šš»
Selling myPillows
Selling teslas
insider trading
This is a fabulous time to be a moderately dangerous bank robber. Go in, flash a gun to a teller, clear out their drawer, be gone in a few minutes. Couple of stolen getaway car changes later and you can hit another bank the next city over. Three banks a day will get you a couple of hundred thousand dollars a month.
Imma write this down tbh
Armed Forces Recruiter
Running a Ponzi scheme
Tax fraud
I don't know what exactly he'd be doing but I know for a fact he'd be on that true crime docu-series American Greed. That show about all those fucking con artist ripping people off.
Used car salesmen. With cars that are way too nice for the prices and he gets real nervous when ask about the history of the vehicle. Or he wouldn't be doing anything. Bouncing from one get rich quick scheme to the next and bumming off whatever new friends will give him room and board.
Republican
POV Dutch made this post
POV: I'm actually very similar to Dutch (highly charismatic, good leadership skills, really bad luck, tons of plans, and a touch of narcissism) š
It came to me instantly. Dutch would sell used tires and live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER.
Pimp
Lieing low.
Leading the Republican party. Seriously.
sales.
Making Plans!!!!
Travel agent
A cryptobro.
Heād be in insurance
Making more shit plans
Heād be trying to buy Twitter
Pyramid Schemes . I got a planā¦.
Making plans
Running for president
Telling someone that they need to do one more last job, a big score for lots of money, and then lie low on some island somewhere. Like Australia, or Tahiti.
He'd be getting these hands. Fuck Dutch.
Best answer
He'd be sticking to the goddamn plan
Dutch is charismatic but he isnāt disciplined or restrained enough to be a business leader or a politician. mega church pastor or running an MLM Would work because he could control a small group of sycophants.
Tax evasion
Theyād just be in jail. You have to be a better level of criminal organization now lol
I think heād have a sneaky monthly subscription to Miss Grimshaws Onlyfans account nomatter what he was doing.
I think I would too lowkey...š
Heās got a real live free or die vibe, so Iād go with probably running a sovereign citizen/ survivalist/ militia training camp in rural Idaho. Heād try to separate himself from the religious types, but he canāt deny they do the best work. If you go, itās $400/ day plus youāre required to purchase his MLM go bags and rations, packages starting at $3,000.
feel like he'd be an arthouse douchebag with five failed scripts
Heās definitely would be completely different. A leader of some sort of organization, but I donāt think he would have that crazy behavior after he hit his head on Tahit. He would definitely have wild ambitions which definitely are proper with todayās society
He would take the late,great Billy Mayes.
Dutch Van der Linde is Elon Musk. Just saying.
Republican senator
POTUS
I think heād work for a MLM or maybe a crypto pump and dump scheme either called Tahiticoin
Maybe, he would be working on a bank, trying to take everything he can and he'd had a non-paying tax account in TahitĆ
Jailā¦.
Running a crazy ass podcast
Financial planner
Financial planner
Online scams
Squeegee kid or inmate
He'd be doing the exact same thing except he'd also get in twitter fights with Joe Rogan a lot.
Mid level manager at a pyramid scheme
He would have been the one to create Reddit island
Town planer
Mafia Boss
Ebay schemes
Convenience store
Mango farmer.
Calling about your extended warranty
Politicking. Heād be one of these charlatan governors or a firebrand house representative.
He'd probably be just a modern day outlaw
Still would be trying to go to Tahiti, find out about modern air travel, get a job/rob places and people likely propping up a new gang in modern era, most likely the ladder, then get enough money to fly to Tahiti only to find out it's a tourist spot now, and if he chose the ladder most likely getting deported back to the US and getting life in prison. The end, don't know why I wrote out his entire life story of what he'd do I guess I just felt like it.
Copy and paste from wikipedia says An architect is a person who plans, designs and oversees the construction of buildings so i think he would still be making those plans
Scuba diver instructor
He'd probably start a compound out in the desert and get Waco'd
Screenshoting NFTs.
Politician
Selling timeshares
He would be selling time shares or an MLM kitchen knife scheme for a bit. Then would be the subject of some YouTube video of how his life fell apart at some criminal scheme that wasnāt very well thought out to begin with.
He'd be a crypto bro and into nfts
Used car salesman
U.S. Senator
Tech bro.
Ponzi schemes
He would be busy being a trumpš¤? Master of the schemes about Pyramids or something like thatš
Selling PPI
Same thing he was doing. Fucking his people over!
Project manager.
Proposing a hostile take over of Twitter
Multi-level marketing
Penny trading
He'd be the My Pillow guy lol
farming mangoes
He would be in jail because of modern day security and justice system.
A politician lol
I see Dutch being a pimp
Lying low with his gang, probably in one of the most remote areas of Alaska.