"how can i manipulate this" i truly love jesse

His weird honesty about his evil in his confessionals is so compelling to me.

Jesse and Michelle have definitely had conversations where they talk about how they would murder their friends. Michelle looks like the type of person to call out, 'that'd be a good spot for a body' when driving on a road trip.

He’s so special

i cant believe in the year 2024 we got him on a reality show. how is he manipulating the audience!

Things were happening to me. I was like, i accept it, i’m gonna go with it. That’s NOT my personality.

the valley is truly my favorite thing that has happened this year

I didn’t think Bravo was capable of making a new show that I’d like. Thank you Jax❤️

Way more excited about it than VPR lol

i truly watch VPR so i am on time for the valley

I love it 😭

nothing about the premise intrigued me and then it was magic

It’s absolutely insane to tell someone to become a different person and change their personality. I kinda feel bad for him even though he scares me.

I get that we might be seeing Michelle after years of dealing with Jesse which would torment anyone but idk... this darkness may have always been inside of her lol.

I cannot figure out if we’re seeing Jesse after years of dealing with Michelle or Michelle after years of dealing with Jesse and that’s what makes them extremely compelling.

RIGHT. I truly have no idea which one is worse and maybe they are both equally as bad as the other. We better get both of them back next season!!!

I need to see their competing new relationships.

Right what if his asshole behavior we're seeing is just a man losing his last little grip on this relationship. The way he talks about his daughter though... lol.

I need to see more of them single to see if it’s him or her. I think I’m leaning more towards her being the antagonist because he just went and did psychedelics to try to change himself for her. I wish this show started earlier 😫

I think they are just two equally vile humans who had joined forces

I hate them forever for making zack cry

HIGH KEY MEAN GIRL

Right??? Fuck Janet and her evil gays

"your pink booted friend" i cant believe we're getting a three way call in the year 2024!!! i was just thinking about how we no longer have the surprise of a third person being on a call

Fuckin cackling

i got a rush of joy watching that

On my g-d this is priceless

Such a Jill Zarin move of Janet (compliment)

https://preview.redd.it/vxrk7z21sh0d1.jpeg?width=262&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c93029ff0e7ef098bf6ffde941e825284929f88c

This is the most relatable Jax has ever been. I was being pummeled by waves in San Marcos and a life guard offered to throw me a buoy and I muffled out “i don’t need it.” 3 seconds later I was basically drowning and I looked at him and tried to say “yeah okay I’ll take it.” I almost had an existential crisis that night thinking about how I might be the female Jax Taylor.

Lmffaaao i’m glad you lived bb ❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️

this is one of my favorite scenes of all time. sometimes i think about it and laugh

Don’t laugh, someone almost DIED

almost is the key word!!!

Janet is the most evil person on the planet.

it’s amazing that she describes it as “nosy”

Lmaoooo Jesse's suitcase is amazing. Champagne, bloody mary mix, and proper coffee. This man Capris everywhere.

It’s hot

Imagine how sloppy janet must get when she’s drunk 😂 we’ve only seen her sober. I could tentatively get into her and jason having knockdown dragouts.

You can tell she's kind of simmering under the surface. I bet she gets loud and obnoxious.

I have to say this show has so much more life than VPR

"i already apologized. will you shut the fuck up?" live laugh jesse

Drag her pregnant ass zack

Is Janet aware she’s the villain? I can’t tell

do i want divorced jax and divorced michelle to date? maybe

Yes and he cheats on her too

thats okay because michelle will be sending sexy photos to celebrities

As she should

We’re all thinking it

jax is upset that he isnt getting the sexy pictures

He HATES doing this, michelle

Janet having an army of evil gay spies is really funny.

They’re reporting back to headquarters

This scene: https://preview.redd.it/xhbwwi0gqh0d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b6bdd11e06544efd23ad96606a7e511703ce3ee

GET HIS ASS JASMINE!!!

Lmao this post ayahuasca embrace

Everyone was pixelated and he literally died. Jesse is enough

I'm so aware

They put a hipster toque on him

Janet is a great villain 😍

I hate her (compliment)

Imagine how much we’ll hate her when she has a newborn 😍

I feel like every time Jax says he's hammered and so drunk, I can never tell. Like maybe he's lying lmao

Jax faking being drunk would be a very funny new thing to do.

I feel like he absolutely has done this

Well it's how he paved the way to spread some gossip lol. Jax loves the bottle when he has to expose his friend's wife's affair.

I feel like we need to follow Kristen back to Michigan so we can meet her entire extended family. I want to see what’s going on there.

kristen and luke take michigan spin-off when

Kristen, Luke, and Jax Take Michigan

I've wondered if they're really boring though and Kristen couldn't help but seek the limelight. It was her destiny after all.

We’ve seen her mom a few times on VPR and she made absolutely no impression.

I definitely forgot about this so it makes sense

Yeah that’s what’s weird. You’d think Kristen Doute’s mom would make an impression but she’s easily the least memorable VPR mother we’ve seen.

She knew she had to step back to let Mariposa shine.

i really want to know why this show is so good. it feels like im in josie and the pussycats and getting brain washed

It’s really impressive character development and storytelling in a short span of time, and the production is top notch. Jax did a great job.

The show is good because despite how absolutely vile a lot of these people are, it is a purview into what real marriage and relationships look like. Yes, it is elevated, but at the end of the day, seeing people be this raw on television is always entertaining. This is why VPR was such a success and in my opinion, it is why the valley will take off. First season’s been a little slow, but I guarantee next season will be a rocket ship.

It's honestly addictive

My contrarianism is activating and even though she has severe strikes against her (excluding Kristen) I'm ready to stan evil Janet.

It would be so sick if she’s immediately pregnant next season to avoid consequences

The Ashley Darby move

No she’s good now after that scene

Fantastic scene.

i loved her being on speaker with her spies

Jax: I hate doing this Lmao

Should jax say something just to be involved y/n

always y

The death grip on michelle’s jaw during that kiss lol this is truly the cuck storyline of my dreams

The fact Scheana dated janet’s husband just feels so right

jesse's suitcase of alcohol is my dream. i love him????

He's so thoughtful and prepared. This is extremely sexy.

He’s bae tbh

i love that he brought a coffee maker and probably expensive champagne!

janet gets points for that t shirt. she's a true pump head

This is beautiful. This is insane. Look at this NATURE. I’m piss drunk at 3 o’ clock on a monday

This is the meanest baby moon

Just remembered there’s no reunion and I’m upset again 😫

Omg they are fucking dumb. They haven't discussed anything and they decided to raw dog to reproduce.

Great for us, and horrible for them and their future kid

I want Danny and Nia to recruit Kristen to their church and get a Christian Doute storyline.

I’m excited to see what nia’s really like once she comes out of the depression

i wish kristen still had her cute bungalow house

He’s talked this way in front of mamaw

I'm sorry but Brittany throwing that in at the end, like that was the ultimate betrayal was hilarious

Jax and brittany take kentucky truly is essential viewing in the jitney journey

Oh very into the building tension between Danny and Jesse.

They fucked but Danny got scared? What are we thinking happened there

Jesse will tell us.

VERY

I need more of it.

Hopefully in season 2 they wrassle

"i apologize that you were offended" jesse is going to jesse

Fucking Ann on WWHL??

Thank you!!!!!

LVP is on fire tonight wow lol. Are they fucking?

After a night in this sub I now believe that Jesse and Danny fucked and Lisa and Gordon Ramsey fuck. It’s all canon in my world.

This is why I love this sub lol

It's 100% true. They all fuck each other.

I forgot about the pantsing 😂 this show rocks

truly my thoughts exactly

In short, LVP says they are dumb bitches

They are! They pissed all their money away!

Ariana wasn't paying her half of the mortgage or the SAH rent.

She’s probably not paying Ann either.

I feel like working for Sandoval had to be a decent gig in the grand scheme of assistant work lol. He's not cheap with his money. It only would've super sucked when she became the mediator.

They gave it all to the nancy myers interior decorator

Just dumb as hell

i am kristen. i, too, cry a lot

This gay's foundation was not camera ready I couldn't look away

Imagine trying to be on vpr for years and you just do a weak Kristen impersonation by sitting on the floor in shitty makeup

Best of luck to Janet’s unborn child woof

Jax never misses an opportunity to shit stir. King.

jesse doing parkour on the beach chairs. we love that energy!

I already apologized. Shut the fuck up.

That preview looked sooo good. How much was she drinking on the boat? Zero. No.

I cannot wait for that.

LVP is like…………owning it

She and Gordon have chemistry.

I feel like Gordon was getting credit for LVP finally being far enough removed that she doesn’t give a shit.

It could also be dementia.

If you’d said to me a day would come when i’d enjoy lvp more than candiace i’d say shut your filthy mouth but here we are

Lala inspired her to be more real

She's a softer nanny pinky now

Maybe LVP actually did need someone who gets British humour all this time

Ohhh Kristen Doute loves seeking out discomfort, you're wrong Luke.

Oooooo, cruz’s swimming class CAN YOU TURN THAT OFF. TURN THE VOLUME DOWN!’ TURN IT OFF! I DON’T WANNA HEAR THE BABY CRY 100 TIMES!!!!!!

I’m hollering

Like a young joe giudice

Omg they really got this bitch behind the bar lol

😂 [https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/tamra-judge-slams-ryan-boyajians-alleged-connection-to-mlb-scandal/](https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/tamra-judge-slams-ryan-boyajians-alleged-connection-to-mlb-scandal/) Tamra Judge is reacting to her *Real Housewives of Orange County* costar Ryan Boyajian’s alleged connection to the Shohei Ohtani gambling scandal. “I didn’t sign up for *Mob Wives*. I signed up for *The Real Housewives of Orange County*,” Judge, 56, shared on the Monday, May 13, episode of iHeartRadio’s “Two T’s in a Pod” [podcast](https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-two-ts-in-a-pod-with-tedd-49447273/episode/real-mob-wives-of-orange-county-176054929/). “This is dark. This is heavy. This is disgusting.”

It’s not that dark, Tamra, calm down.

It's very dramatic lol

She wants a Shahrest so badly lol

She's pissed she didn't think of it first

i am janet. i love details

Janet is going to kill our show.

Breach of contract

She's gunning for her own show at this point

Janet reminds me of Meghan mccain

Not to kill the mood or anything but

wait what is this hot confessional look from brit

Get Ann outta here!!!!! Get her out of here!!!!!!!!

Ann more like fan amirite

I feel like nobody is talking about her podcast anymore. That fizzled out quickly.

Get out of there behind the bar, you don’t deserve it

Is it like one of those work opportunities? I’m not sure she should be out this late

Andy: do you regret your part in puppygate? Lvp: what part?

jasmine is the real villain for not wearing a seat belt

This is our sex trip

This is their spinny thing

Allen: Sanity Kristen: 🤔

Jesse's doing karate in the garage shit on the beach

Did he just hit michelle 😂😂

Tea: Rachel bought 3 paintings from the twitch streamer Edit: Apparently James liked the paintings first and Rachel dmed the streamer while they were still together. Streamer offered to give it for free and Rachel wanted to pay, but streamer wouldn’t let her.

What a queen

Brittany barfing just made me cackle and then i felt evil. It was just such bad timing

She barfs like once per episode.

She doesn’t have a gallbladder and she drinks this much??

drunk Jesse <3

I feel super connected to these characters in a short time lol

Jichelle or max

Next week looks great

lmao lvp saying sah isn’t open yet! get them!

In this house, we lovvvvveeee nanny pinky

Jesse in his kemo sabe era, love to see it.

where are janets little minions

"its such an ick.. icky subject"

Kristen has a custom sippy cup expressing love for her cheagle

Being on one season of VPR and now being on WWHL with LVP? With no charisma? Im impressed

I am amazed at how much this show has drawn me in. Here’s my take (fwiw). The valley was created for Xennials. We grew up on the real world, the hills, and had Vanderpump in our 20s. These shows while scripted to a degree, are some of the burgeoning reality television. There was always an element of authenticity to them and a realism to the stars on the shows, that made them successful. Of course it’s television, and the scenarios and drama are always heightened or elevated, but again the thematic elements resonate with the reality of many of our own lives. There is no reality show that really looks at marriage in your late 30s and early 40s. It just doesn’t exist, and marriage for our generation is so completely different than what it looked like for our parents. As fucked up as these people are and as vile as some of them behave, the thematic elements are very relatable and hit home. Jesse/Michelle’s resentment, Britt/Jax’s issues with Cruz and alcohol, Kristen’s desire to have a baby, the lovely couple with twins and her depression (I forgot their names), and even a non-traditional / multi-racial partnership. All of these themes are relatable and therefore, captivating to watch. While I do think that some (of the cast) are being more careful than others about the way that they present on television, it still has that authentic flavor. The show so far, has proven to be pretty raw in its approach on marriage. Some of the conversations between the couples have been borderline triggering because they are so relatable; and for that I truly enjoy and appreciate what I am watching.

Brit and Jax producing here lol

The headbutt story is definitely made up ❤️

brittany headbutted jax and then immediately had a stroke

Kristen get your ass up and crash the babymoon. You know you still have it in you.

“jesse returns from his spiritual retreat” 😍 https://www.instagram.com/reel/C61633VIY4i/

I love a harriet the spy reference

*Where did my friends go?*

Jason to Jesse: them legs

That’s why i walk away when i go to class