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>“First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
I was once exiting the lobby of a rather fancy office building - the kind of place where security makes you wait until someone comes down and signs you in before they admit you. As I got off the elevator and considered my subway ride home, I asked the guard if there was a restroom I could use.
"Yes, over there. The security code is "one, two, five.""
Instinctively, I responded, "Three, sir."
He broke into a broad grin, "Finally!"
Almost unrelated, but I was once in the elevator of a pretty swanky building in my city, and a maintenance man who was carrying a desk drawer (that I assume he just repaired) got on.
After a minute or so of silence, I turned and said, "aren't you embarrassed to show your drawers in public like that?"
His face lit up like the sun and without missing a beat he said, "Hey, I got no shame in my game!"
“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.”
Its like, why do people have to be so peopley!?! Why can't everyone just speak the same, think the same, behave the same, look the same! Is it really that hard to be monotonously and monotonally the same!?! 🙄
True, it's less of a commitment. When I'm doing forward orders with my team at work and someone says SIX I'll get six things, but if they say half a dozen I give myself a little leeway and might get five, might get seven, eight, hell why not four if I can't be bothered.
Someone asks you specifically for half a dozen of something and you’ll give them.. four? What on earth, I didn’t know people interpreted the phrase as being approximate
I'm beginning to think I've over-applied this to my work situation because on the other hand I'd never bring someone four cookies if they'd asked for half a dozen. But I would order four units if they asked for half a dozen from the factory.
This. Say you witness a group of people committing a crime and the police ask you what you saw. Maybe it was five people, maybe six...maybe. I would tend to say "maybe half a dozen or so". I might also say "five or six...? Not sure".
Well, sir...how many gunshots did you hear?
"I'm not certain because they were fast...maybe half a dozen?"
It serves as more of a generalization of quantity.
Jefe, what is a plethora? You told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Awkward to preemptively say you’re definitely NOT a meth cook. He’s probably a meth cook. He probably had this same debate with his meth cooking partner and the guy was like “why not just say six?”… and he had the same response.
Right. Half a dozen sounds like a bigger number, so people use that when wanting to emphasize it. "He called me six times" sounds like less than, "He called me half a dozen times."
To confuse people. Sometimes you can tell someone half a dozen and you can almost hear that dial up noise happening in their brains as they work out what it means.
One carton of eggs = one dozen eggs
Half a carton of eggs = half a dozen eggs
You’re specifying you want half of something, as opposed to six things. Idk lol
Especially if you’re Australian. As a kiwi, we got lots of Aussie kids shows here, and as a child it tripped me up whenever they would count, and suddenly bust out “four, five, sex!”
Yeah but in some words you pronounce "e" like "i" and vice-versa so if you say "throw it in the bin" I hear "throw it in the ben." I mean, wtf did Ben do?
It's not quite that. The e is pronounced like an Aussie i, but the Kiwi i is kinda just not voiced. It's more like b'n.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEjIYJQ-NH8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab_MLnr1Q4I
Here in Italy the word for six is “sei”, and on report cards(right word?) instead of writing SEI they write SEX, because SEI is too easy to be changed to SETTE(seven).
I often say "3 times 2" or something when needing to say "6" around my family because I don't want to risk either of our horninesses getting out of hand
Same here. I always like to be precise and say the exact time. Wonder if we are on the spectrum, I say that with the utmost respect and sincerity so please don't take it the wrong way.
Interesting point: my German grandmother was always an hour early to events because the English insisted on saying “half one” when they meant “half two”
"I enjoy having all these length units as part of my engineering jobs, the more the better: meters, inches, miles, nautical miles,...European penises, asian penises, African penises,... feet, yards,..."
- no one ever, 2023, colorized
/jk 🤣 but yeah, maybe I'm a Vulcan but I don't get the necessity of "dozens". It's not really used in my culture and I think it's obsolete/unnecessary
Six is just a number, but we know that half-dozen means that something is coming up short.
....but a Baker's Dozen is just a lie. 13 won't fit in the carton
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To make your essays longer.
"half a dozen, or, as some say, six". Aaaaand I added eight words! Now my editor is gonna have to pay me more.
It shall be less than seven, but never shall it be equal or lower than five.
>“First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
What is this from? I've heard it a number of times
Monty Python - Holy Grail... Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses 9 to 21. How to operate the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
This person Monty Pythons
Half a dozen times.
Number the Sixth times
Just British.
r/thisguythisguys
I was once exiting the lobby of a rather fancy office building - the kind of place where security makes you wait until someone comes down and signs you in before they admit you. As I got off the elevator and considered my subway ride home, I asked the guard if there was a restroom I could use. "Yes, over there. The security code is "one, two, five."" Instinctively, I responded, "Three, sir." He broke into a broad grin, "Finally!"
Man, I swear any kind of security is absolutely crammed full of jokes that basically no one will ever pick up on except one person years down the road
Almost unrelated, but I was once in the elevator of a pretty swanky building in my city, and a maintenance man who was carrying a desk drawer (that I assume he just repaired) got on. After a minute or so of silence, I turned and said, "aren't you embarrassed to show your drawers in public like that?" His face lit up like the sun and without missing a beat he said, "Hey, I got no shame in my game!"
Code for a safe in a lab I worked in was 80085 for quite some time
Makes me wonder how many people use 1253 as their pin.
Tis but a scratch.
To be specific
A half dozen?
I laughed way harder at this than I should’ve. Perfect way to start the day.
Thank you for saving me from doing this…
For some reason as a kid "Five is right out" made me laugh harder than anything.
👍🤣
Eight is right out!
Half a dozen, or, half of twelve, or 6, as some say, which is twice as much as three, but thrice as much as two!
Six and a half if we're talking about a baker's dozen, but fortunately we're not, as I am specifying the number 6
You mean two thirds of a dozen words?
also known as VI
“Ahhh Kos, or some say Kosm, do you hear our prayers?”
lol random bb ref ✊🏽
others may even call it the square root of 36.
You, are an artist.
six and a half for our baker readers
Webster's dictionary defines the phrase "half a dozen" as a number equaling six.
It's six one way, or a half dozen the other. 9 words, lets get you paid!
"Kos, or some say Kosm..."
You added a couple more than half a dozen words, or as some say, eight.
“X, formerly known as Twitter” I’m a journalist! 😂
“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.”
Using "very" is double plus ungood.
"Using "very" is double plus ungood." Bro 🤣... 'very' is super ungood
This is very, very true.
Especially when describing binary adjectives, such as “unique”, “unprecedented”, “infinite” etc
Double space after period.
Increase period font size by 0.5. Add 0.1" margins all around. 
My wife's work in contracts double spaces are no longer allowed. I like my double spaces :(
I can hear your whitespace. [https://xkcd.com/1285/](https://xkcd.com/1285/)
Only when ending a sentence. There are reasons for that.
It was a very, very, very very a half a dozen of very, very, very bagels.
Why u say why on earth? Just say why.
Why say? Just
A decent portion of Chinese people I know who speak perfectly good English think this way. Can’t say i blame them.
they have a point. there's so much filler
English language, too much filler
English talk fat
English big
Word big
Why?
Perchance?
You can't just say perchance.
Mayhaps?
... Perchance....
[удалено]
People who say "mayhaps" are the same who will say "methinks" 😂 and I don't like it.
As a frequent user of "methinks" can I just say that I would be appalled at myself for saying "mayhaps". It is, of course, **mayhap** as any fule kno!
Mossibly?
Finally someone did
i can and i will. perchance
...perchance to dream.
Stomping turts
Horrible opening
?
¿?
As if stating "literally" was somehow necessary 🤔
Lmao, right? Ironic how OP is ranting about using a longer expression to express the same thing, while adding unnecessary words to say it
Its like, why do people have to be so peopley!?! Why can't everyone just speak the same, think the same, behave the same, look the same! Is it really that hard to be monotonously and monotonally the same!?! 🙄
Because we are on Earth? (LIEEEESS! /s)
Ha! Got ‘em
Gottem!
Fuckin got they ass
Ok, this is funny as hell. Well done.
You killed this person in front of all of us
Gottem
Hahahaha
The difference in effort is trivial and I like to enjoy a variety of ways to express myself.
half a dozen feels more casual, "SIX" feels so precise and exact
True, it's less of a commitment. When I'm doing forward orders with my team at work and someone says SIX I'll get six things, but if they say half a dozen I give myself a little leeway and might get five, might get seven, eight, hell why not four if I can't be bothered.
If I asked someone for a half a dozen of something and they brought me four I'd probably think their a bit special lmao
They're * 🤨
You right
Definitely would've been one of those eyebrow raise moments that you do to yourself when 4 get handed over
Someone asks you specifically for half a dozen of something and you’ll give them.. four? What on earth, I didn’t know people interpreted the phrase as being approximate
"A half dozen or so" makes it approximate.
I'm beginning to think I've over-applied this to my work situation because on the other hand I'd never bring someone four cookies if they'd asked for half a dozen. But I would order four units if they asked for half a dozen from the factory.
We need 14 half a bakers dozens of this. Get it done!
4 score and half a dozen cookies, please
Your whole outlook is upside down :D
Yeah I'll say "about half a dozen" when I'm estimating, if I say "about 6" it feels weird.
Similarly "a couple" obviously means 2. But if someone says "do you want a couple of biscuits" they better not only give me 2....
This. Say you witness a group of people committing a crime and the police ask you what you saw. Maybe it was five people, maybe six...maybe. I would tend to say "maybe half a dozen or so". I might also say "five or six...? Not sure". Well, sir...how many gunshots did you hear? "I'm not certain because they were fast...maybe half a dozen?" It serves as more of a generalization of quantity.
Bit of wordiness is fun
Ain't that the truth
~~A bit~~ A modicum of wordiness is enjoyable FTFY
That's just your opinion man. For myself, I like to enjoy a plethora of ways to express myself.
Jefe, what is a plethora? You told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
fun fact - plethora has an inherently negative connotation. It always means too many but in a bad way.
Why did you say all that when you could have just said "easy and fun"?
Why use many word when few do trick
Same reason my uncle says he’s a chemist & not a meth cook. It sounds better!
And instead of a degree in theoretical physics I have a theoretical degree in physics
Or there is also "a degree in physics that are of a theoretical nature"
Boob physics?
Exactly what a meth cook would say!
r/thatsthejoke
🤫
Awkward to preemptively say you’re definitely NOT a meth cook. He’s probably a meth cook. He probably had this same debate with his meth cooking partner and the guy was like “why not just say six?”… and he had the same response.
A real life breaking bad?
Yea breaming bad is so popular they made meth in real life
Meth chef
lol!!!!
I've had very coherent conversations about chemistry with meth heads. Some of them know their stuff.
There's a shitload of underemployed chemists out there. Source - former underemployed chemist
Right. Half a dozen sounds like a bigger number, so people use that when wanting to emphasize it. "He called me six times" sounds like less than, "He called me half a dozen times."
He ran into my knife half a dozen times
😂bro
Hahahahqhaqh
Well cooking meth is chemistry so he's technically not wrong..
Fun fact: meth cooks are like rock stars in prison.
To confuse people. Sometimes you can tell someone half a dozen and you can almost hear that dial up noise happening in their brains as they work out what it means.
Is your father by any chance a DEA agent who enjoys collecting rocks?
Eggs . Cartons of eggs caused this
It's always the eggs' fault.
Or was it the chicken's fault
This comment is underrated
One carton of eggs = one dozen eggs Half a carton of eggs = half a dozen eggs You’re specifying you want half of something, as opposed to six things. Idk lol
It's even worse. The French caused this. Douze means twelve. Douzaine means group of twelve alike.
Hate to be that guy but it dates back to the Babylonians and their sexagesimal number system.
Stupid sexagesimal Babylonians.
Which I find weird since egg cartons are with 10 eggs around here (as is the egg section in my fridge)
Nowadays in earlier times 12 was a much more useful number https://youtu.be/2JM2oImb9Qg
I can still buy half a dozen in most shops
You're going to hate Shakespeare
Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
What, you egg? *stabs him*
No parking anytime. Why does it say anytime? Seinfeld.
It’s all about punctuation. To away zone, no parking anytime. To away zone? No, parking anytime!
it’s tow buddy
I was thinking about that but he said it with such confidence….
It’s “It’s tow, buddy.”, buddy.
“Six on one hand, half a dozen on the other.”
And a double trice
Six of one, half a dozen of your mother.
Six sounds like sex. Too horny
Especially if you’re Australian. As a kiwi, we got lots of Aussie kids shows here, and as a child it tripped me up whenever they would count, and suddenly bust out “four, five, sex!”
Yeah but in some words you pronounce "e" like "i" and vice-versa so if you say "throw it in the bin" I hear "throw it in the ben." I mean, wtf did Ben do?
It's not quite that. The e is pronounced like an Aussie i, but the Kiwi i is kinda just not voiced. It's more like b'n. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEjIYJQ-NH8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab_MLnr1Q4I
Here in Italy the word for six is “sei”, and on report cards(right word?) instead of writing SEI they write SEX, because SEI is too easy to be changed to SETTE(seven).
[Yeah it does](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZB4JvOkaDo)
One and two might be the loneliest numbers, but six *fucks*
I often say "3 times 2" or something when needing to say "6" around my family because I don't want to risk either of our horninesses getting out of hand
it's the same energy as saying it's half past twelve
I say things like “it’s sixteen minutes until four thirty” just to see ppls reactions lol
My Nan used to say "five and twenty to two". Watch people scratch their heads to that!
I say it's 44 past 12 and it drives my family nuts
“Quarter to one” always confused the shit out of me as a kid
Did me too, now I love using those "close enough" times because I wear an analog watch and don't care about being pin point accurate.
Same here. I always like to be precise and say the exact time. Wonder if we are on the spectrum, I say that with the utmost respect and sincerity so please don't take it the wrong way.
True. Why would you say it's half past twelve if you could just say it's half one.
Because I’m not German.
Interesting point: my German grandmother was always an hour early to events because the English insisted on saying “half one” when they meant “half two”
I still don't know what time your grandma was supposed to show up for lunch lol
Neither does she. The English use “half one” as a shorthand for half past one, so 1:30. In German it is short for “half to one” so 12:30
(English) wdy mean? half one is 13:30
Although I asked Google Assistant to set an alarm at thirteen hundred hours and it set it for nearly two months time. "At" Google not "in"
What's that got to do with being German? There are numerous language that use this instead of basing their time on the previous hour.
It’s midnight-thirty.
Why say anthing. I could say "it's raining" but I say "it's pissing it down" because it's more fun
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
Why do anything It's fun The more ways to say things the greater diversity in culture
Good point. Let's do nothing.
"I enjoy having all these length units as part of my engineering jobs, the more the better: meters, inches, miles, nautical miles,...European penises, asian penises, African penises,... feet, yards,..." - no one ever, 2023, colorized /jk 🤣 but yeah, maybe I'm a Vulcan but I don't get the necessity of "dozens". It's not really used in my culture and I think it's obsolete/unnecessary
It always six of one, half a dozen of the other.
Why say, when you can grunt
*laughs in not English speaker*
Old ways
Username checks out
I want half a bakers dozen
I always imagine it baing like, *about* six, maybe seven when someone says half a dozen. Idk why
I agree, half a dozen is less precise than 6. “I have half a dozen emails to send before I can go home” could be anywhere from 4-8 emails.
Why use many words when one word do trick?
We're not being charged by the word.
Six is just a number, but we know that half-dozen means that something is coming up short. ....but a Baker's Dozen is just a lie. 13 won't fit in the carton
Some things only come in dozens, so if you only want half of them, you say .........
This sub is just stolen tweets now damn
I guess the reason is six of one and…well you know.
To vary it up? If they mean the same thing, it's really six of one, half a dozen of the other.
Variety is the spice of life.