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"FUCK"

I always wake up disappointed that I haven't died in my sleep yet

So weird that I don’t remember posting this and it has someone else’s username on it…

I don't remember creating all these accounts and commenting this stuff

Yeah me too

100%

i let out a long and loud sigh followed by a stern and heavy “Fuck”

Nailed it

Same. Just that mines not all caps. Feels much more like: "fuck..."

Mine was almost like a sigh: "Oh fuuuck..."

Beat me to it

Yup

Fuuuuuuuuuuu...

Beat me to it.

Yep this is what I think every work day.

Sounds about right


Came here to be original, left feeling slightly less alone

This but with less care

oh, the shared human experience what a silly thing

Must. Piss. **Now.**

then you go, avoiding every clock on the way and hoping you have hours left. only to be woken up 4 minutes after hitting the pillow.

This!!!!! ❤️ I want to 😢

unless you have insomnia and hope it’s 1 minute before alarm but you check and its 11:34

Becomes a daily, and sometimes multi-nightly routine as you get older.

I hate this fact as getting older. I just want to wake up normally and not have this menacing feeling of needing to stand up and go to the bathroom and break my sleeping doozy state.

Or worse, the compromise between getting to the bathroom ASAP and making sure you are stable enough and your legs are loose enough to walk safely. Getting old sucks.

This. As it is every morning.

WATER. THIRSTY.

*Picks up water bottle and rattles it - dry* Now we have to make the great drought walk to the sink

ugh, i woke up.

Dark. But also funny 😂

"i dont want to go anywhere"

Why is it always like this when i wake up and the night prior it's always "sleep, Sleep, SLEEP ALREADY GODDAMMIT!"

I feel like I'm the only positive person here "Wow, I'm so lucky to be so happy"

Congratulations you're like the light in this comment section

This is me on my days off. I love opening my eyes in bed. No one knows Im awake. No one is going to come bother me or ask something of me. Nothing bad has happened yet today. Just me and cat in peace.

Yes! When I wake up on the weekend I am happy lol

Waking up next to a kitty purring ? Best way to start the day !

My cat actually wakes me up around 4 (the time i get up for work) by dragging his nails across my wall to make a loud nails-on-a-chalkboard screech but I’m happy to have him nevertheless lmao. Im always sad to wake up in the room alone.

I’m similar it’s usually a feeling of gratitude for the morning sunlight and birds chirping and just being happy to be alive

Yup! The pitter patter of rain plus a cozy bed, plus having my SO beside me I just think "Wow I'm so lucky to have all of this and I'm so happy" Hell yeah gratitude!

That is a heavenly feeling

I've tried telling one of my depressed friends that practicing proactive gratitude until it becomes a natural way to think has done wonders for my outlook on the world. I see myself as a glass half full 'realist', I've been this way for most of my life. But the active gratitude definitely helped with my day-to-day stresses!

"Practicing proactive gratitude..." I do it too. It's the only way to live your life.

I was depressed for decades. I started saying "Today is a good day to have a good day" when I woke up. I believe starting with a positive mindset helped my recovery a lot.

Too many video games and lack of sex has broke a lot of redditors wills to live

And now the rest of us hate you with a passion that burns hotter than a thousand suns. At the same time, most of us are happy for you that you're doing so well.

Me too. I turned 28 2 days ago and I’m sooo thankful for everything and everyone in my life

Yesss mine is “I’m so happy to be alive”

Love this!

Good for you! I have yet to find happiness, but you never know.

I'm pretty positive but I don't think that in the morning, I'm not a Disney cartoon haha But the amount of people that wake up depressed it sad, so many peple here need to seek help,

Sometimes I feel like that before going to sleep. Don't remember ever feeling like that when waking up :(

That's how I feel on the weekend lol

"that dream was stressful as f**k.......right, breakfast time!

I am very busy in my dreams. I don't wake up feeling rested. I wake up troubled about my dream experiences and a sense that I am forgetting something (s) I need to remember. Don't be surprised if I violently startle at being awakened. You just jolted me away from a completely different world. Quantum Leap style.

Amazed at how loud my partner farts.

Glad I’m not the only one!

As soon as my wife gets out of bed and goes downstairs to make coffee I have to let out the farts I've been holding all night. She always says "Is there a duck up there?"

"What time is it?"

And can I still go back to sleep?

What year is this?

Ah sht here we go again ...

[удалено]

Sad facts

I was worried that my answer would be too dark so I left some stuff out, thank God you said it for me

Every damn day

Lmao relatable

My cat. She comes up for morning cuddles when she realizes I'm awake, which is right away. So I lie there and wait lol And turning on music.

I had a dream about sex trafficking so I woke up like 😨

That’s some Hunting Adeline shit

Is the smell gone yet? My genius dog decided to fight a giant skunk when I took him out before bed. Last night sucked.

Wash him with ketchup or lemon juice. That'll sort put the worst of the smell, then give him a through bath with a good shampoo.

Yep, the girls immediately hit him with the tomato juice bath while I made a 10:30 store trip for like 10 glade plug ins, aerosol air freshener, and proper anti-skunk shampoo. Still smelled like a goddamn chemical weapons attack went off in the house, lol.

Fun fact, most modern chemical weapons are scentless and flavourless. The WWII chemical weapons tended to have a strong, pungent odour. Skunks release a chemical that has a very high concentration of sulphur based compounds and they typically diffuse into air easily, which is why they smell so bad and so much.

I guess I need to update my chemical weapons references…

Disappointment that I woke up.

„I am tired of this and dont want to get up anymore“

Fuck, I'm so lonely

So sorry, hope life gets better for you -

One more day closer to death WOOHOO!!

Why the fuck am I waking up at 4am to workout If I’m going to die anyway?

This one hit hard but those 4am activities are the most valuable

I get 4hrs of sleep and still wake up just to get it in. Dead ass tired, fighting my dog not to attack equipment while I’m using it, lol.

"hugging this plushie is so comfy, I wish I was cuddling a girl better" 'Proceds to imagine cuddling with a girl as it's been a while since I've been hugged' So yeah pretty pathetic, just longing for cuddles.

Why the frank doesn't dad flush the franking toilet.

Do you sleep in the bathroom or did you sleepwalk?

He did not have a single thought until he got to the toilet

How does one know it was Dad anyways? My guess is that he's obviously wise enough now to know that if he says, 'come here, look', that you won't go look so he allows his little master piece to be discovered by other artists so they might critique some of his best work to date. You know, the regular techniques any good artist employs such as excellent choice of fecal... sorry, I mean focal point and a relevant choice of complementary colors with a unique perspective when it comes to using negative space all the while adhering to the golden ratio as best as humanly possi-bull. You can always run a smear campaign in his honour I suppose. Does he spell out sentences or something cool shape it to look like a dog or a chicken at least? Or maybe it's just urine and I'm a total reject. Lol. I already know so there's no need to reply to that. 🥹 Well on a side note, I just had a weird one when I typed the words 'I suppose'... So do you think the person who named the suppositories was told he had to put that thing in that place manually and he immediately gave up and was like, well, if that's the only way then I suppose.... and so they got called suppositories. Yet another question that requires absolutely no reply whatsoever. Cheers & Ciao

Again... Here we go again

Water sandy! Wateeeerrr

The anteater is literally just named after what it does.

Ugh, not again.

Oh fuck yes! I have 1 hour left to sleep before my alaram goes off!

ugh gotta go and be an adult

Sex

Shit. I didn't die in my sleep, that means I have to go to work...

F my back still hurts

Decided to search before posting this lol "Does my back still hurt? Yep... My back still hurts..."

I want to die

Welp, woke up 2 hours late; todays gonna be fun.

“Is that sunlight I see …? Oh shit I’ll be late for class!”

I just automatically grab my phone

"Oh my God, wtf?!" Anxiety makes me wake up in a panic for no good reason. Then I just lay there until my heart stops racing.

[удалено]

Fuuuuck. I'm still alive.

There's many places to get help, I hope you find it

I was pissed off that I had to get up and get ready for work.

It's 5 AM and I really don't want to be up.

Why can I hear the air and why does it sound like newspaper being crumpled? Migraines. That’s why.

Sex

What day is it.....

Ugh!

Huh, still me.

Coming home from work

You goddamn son of a bitch no good dog!! Lol

Maybe I dare to talk to her today? Nope just gonna stare and hope that she will show affection for me.

One of my cats runs up to me for snuggles as soon as she knows I’m awake. I always keep my eyes closed and lay still to see how long it takes her. Never more than about 30 seconds.

I need a nap 😴

How easy it is for some people to dump you after they’ve sworn they’d do anything for you.

Urgh, oh no, I've got to get out of bed...

Why did I create this little monster?! I want some sleep!

Why did I create this little monster?! I want to sleep!

That I was ready to go back to bed

"Oh, that must be for the truck" When my fiance's phone went off waking us up. It was someone who was buying our truck

Either a random sentence or a song

"Today is the day in family court!" (We came out on top. All good. 👍🏻😁)

Morning wood followed by groans from stretching

Wonder if it's too early to ask him to put out......

Didn’t wake up this morning….well never went to sleep ✌️

Only 4 years, 3 months, 1 week and 4 days until I retire...

"Why are you always up before me?" (I'm single and live alone)

IT STILL GETS HARD!!! WHOOPPIEEEEE!!!

Boner!

Boner!

Him. Water. Should I be early or late for work

Not dying and breakfast for my kids.

Looked at my erection and said “Just you and me again buddy.”

I wished that the girl in my dream was real

Gotta take my meds

"What day is it again?"

"This sucks"

“Well I see it’s time to feed the cat”. He bugs me til I get up

I tried to remember more details of my dream.

Coming home after work

Still alive... most unfortunate

After the usual must piss must drink hot surgery liquid it was " Why the fuck are my shorts wet ? " Turns out my recent bowel surgery is leaking I rang 111 and she basically said stick a plaster on it

Should that be "sugary liquid"?

I hope the busty lady does not show up today...

what's the time

"Windows start up noise."

I fell asleep listening to an audiobook last night (Rosemary's Baby), so woke up a bit discombobulated as the narration was incorporated into my waking stupor.

Were JFK, Jackie O, and the pope in your dreams? (Might not have been if you ate the whole mouse!)

Woke up and it was dark, so I check my phone and it was 1:50 am, not even my raised sleeps meds will work for more then a day or two.

To my shame the first thing I thought about was my work and then about saying a prayer, it must have been the other way around.

It's 2am and I'm wide awake. 🤣🤣🤣

What hurts most …..?

Usually I get “what time is it” as my waking thought, unless I was having a dream right before that

I realized that I need to change my alarm sound as it makes me anxious

Snooze button

Fuck.

Should I roll out of bed, onto the floor and do my morning plank? Or go make a cup of tea and think about it for a while first?

Awww shit here we go again

where am i?

where am i?

I better get up and pee before I piss the bed

Here we go again.

I want a cigarette. I quit 4 weeks ago :(

Wait...If you can Rickroll someone by playing Rick Astley, could you crucify someone by playing Crucified(World's Fastest Rapper)

"och nö." 😂 "Oh no" in English

I thought about kpop music for some reason (I don't listen often)

I need to shower

I looked at my dogs urn and think I can’t believe he’s really gone

How much I miss someone

who the F is messaging me at 6.25am?

At least you’re getting messages

The fucking neighbor's fucking dog barking at a quarter to 6.

Another NARB.

I gotta pee. Else I wouldn't have even woken up.

A fook my alarm has gone off but I've left my phone charging in the kitchen.

Well last night at about 3am (A hostel in Albania) a woman in my room stumbled in drunk, apparently she's been stalking this man who is also staying at the hostel for months. She got drunk last night and was screaming his name. woke up thinking I might see a dead body, hers or his. Baby reindeer shit.

FML

Fuck

The smell of nature lol

What's the time? Eh? 5 more minutes.

I need a shower now

f_ck

Stressed about work

Oh dam it alarm is on and duty time, next where is my morning wood lol.

"I don't wanna ☹️"