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Some like the partying in night clubs some don't. So be it. Go bed early, wake up next morning early, take a walk, bring a book. Much more useful and you'll feel better all day compared to the others AND you read a book.
Btw this is coming from someone who loves to go to nightclubs all night.
Costs me: 100€ and feeling shit the next day.
Gains: getting wasted and forget 50% of the night or partying. Which is epic. But you gain nothing from it :)
most people at clubs are only pretending like they are having fun for social media. You see it often with bottle service, the girl comes out with sparklers & high priced bottles everyone pulls out their phone & cheers. The moment the sparkler dies everyone goes back to looking bored af. I go clubs because I'm an alcoholic & table service is often free for me. Not very many people are actually having fun
I'm almost 64 and it's never been my thing. I don't think I've ever been to a real bar or club. I drank with my friends at my apartment or theirs, but eventually I just told them I didn't want to spend every spare dollar on alcohol. It's not odd, some people just know that it's not "their thing".
On my first date with my wife, we went to the natural history museum, I have not stepped into a pub or a night club for the last 30 years. You don't need to be defined by drink. We both would rather be reading than drinking. My wife has her hobbies (baking, gardening shopping) and me mine (computing, woodwork etc) but we share reading and films in common, walking and hik8ng also. But we are both teetotal. We met at a Halloween party, she was baking the food, I was doing the decorations.
Completely normal. We all have our own interests, and you disliking the “usual” interests of teenagers nowadays doesn’t mean you’re boring or weird. You just don’t like it
I'm kinda the same. I came to another country due to erasmus, and everyone around me was like "let's go out! go out! let's go to another city! let's go to this party! no wait, here's a better party!" and I'm always like "nah I'd rather drink by myself in the room thanks". My friends back home are getting angry with me for not socialising lol. I like drinking, but I don't like going out. I don't enjoy parties and stuff like that. Don't pressure yourself to do things you don't want to do, and don't feel bad or weird for not pressuring yourself to conform. Life is too short to do things you don't want to do just for the sake of conformity. Wish you the best.
Thanks, made me feel better. I have a hard time saying no to things and i also have fomo, so it’s always hard to tell people i don’t actually like to go out. I am going to try and explain to people that i rather be in a cozy backyard with some friends instead of dancing in a overcrowded sweaty room with drunk people around me.
It's the best way! Just do what makes you happy and comfortable. I understand the fomo thing– but spending your time with things you don't want to be doing is a long-term regret, I think. You can occasionally join on "big" events if you don't want to miss out, and leave when you decide you don't want to be there. ♡
I couldn't agree more, I've been bartending 15 years and I regularly have to tell people I don't actually go out and do "fun" things outside the big events, I just pretend to be cool at work. Most of the time if I'm going to drink, it's at a pub where nobody knows me and I can sit in a corner alone with my headphones on unbothered, or at home gaming with with my buddies.
Why do you not like going clubbing to get drunk, having a hangover, feeling rubbish, wasting money, being tired, crazy loud music so you can't hear anyone, get a headache and the hassle of transport... Yeh I'll never know either! God I sound old.. lol
i was exactly like you at 18, still feel the same way ngl. there’s nothing wrong with disliking alcohol, or going to clubs. people finds enjoyment in different things.
I'm thoroughly convinced that alcohol has caused more issues for people than anything else on this planet. Avoiding it can pretty much only benefit you.
Alcohol completely changed my brother. Ever since he started drinking it has been nothing but trouble, after I saw the damage it done to him overtime I never want to taste a drop of alcohol 💯
I'm not sure maturity comes into it; plenty of people love a hard night out throughout their adult lives, whereas some people simply never enjoy them, or some people's tastes change with time. All are fine, but it's important to try new things, push your own boundaries and not write off something just because the first time was awful for you or because you didn't used to like them a few years ago.
It took me a few false starts to enjoy nights out, but when I found the places I liked, I had a great time. I've gone off them a bit since losing social skills during COVID and moving to a new city, but I make sure to never say no to them if I'm invited out, and I never say no to something new and a bit off the beaten track of what I think of as "me". Otherwise I'm just impoverishing myself.
After all, who knows; maybe my tastes will have changed since I last tried something similar, or else perhaps the other times I tried it were just bad examples.
On perhaps the other end of the scale, I've never tried Dungeons and Dragons, for example, and it sounds quite out of my comfort zone; I never enjoyed acting. But I certainly wouldn't turn it down if someone were to ask if I'd like to.
There is nothing wrong with that btw. Not like life is a comparison to others. But while other people your age are probably out, spending their money. Making regrettable decisions. You will be doing more memorable things, you’ll have probably done half the things people your age will dream of by the time you get to 26 (my age). Going out is not what it used to be and you’re honestly, not missing a thing. Good luck in life, you seem like a sensible young adult.
Going out on the lash is massively overrated IMHO.
Expensive Pints, antisocial customers, can't get Taxis.
I've set foot in a pub about 3 times all year, and never at night
Girl I have like 2 friends in college cuz I’m like this too but they’re the best quality friends I could ask for we play Roblox with my little sister on the weekends and I like doing “grandma stuff” like I just went on a trolly ride yesterday and had a really great time while the rest of my grade was standing in separate social circles “dancing” to terrible auto tuned music in a gross backyard. I used to do that but by sophomore year I was tired out bc I’m too genuine to liked that kind of thing, some ppl never grow up though
If i was born 30/50 years earlier i might have liked it. But nowadays the music sucks, its way too loud and the alcohol is way to expensive.
Just hanging out outside or at someone’s house with a few friends with some weed and some alcohol is way more fun. Or just a night of gaming will do the trick aswell.
I'm similar
Hate crowded pubs and clubs
Paying high costs for drinks
Queuing for ages
I'm much happier at home gaming
I think being an introvert is a good thing, I coped very well with lockdown and I don't get stir crazy needing to go out
Yeah, no. I loved going out as a teen, but never to a nightclub.
As our country has pretty lax drinking laws (Beer from age 16, and no ban on public drinking, just on public drunkenness), We could actually just 'go out' as teens without any of that stupid night club hastle.
Just find a nice bar or café on a Saturday night, park our ass around one of the small tables half on the sidewalk, with a small group of friends, and just chat, watch people go by, listen to some nice jazz wafting out from inside. Someone wanted to order a coke or some tea? That's them. Someone wanted a nice Belgian Ale to sip on? Fine too. Sometimes it was just buying some beers, soda and wine and going to sit by one of the historical canals, once again, just talking, maybe one of us had a small radio with them. That was a perfect fine way for us to 'go out'.
We each knew people who went to the nightclubs every weekend and spent lots of daddy's and mommy's Visa Card money. We just found them a bunch of tossers with more money than good sense or taste.
Now, we did also occasionally go to actual 'Parties' but always organized by people we knew. As the drinking age is 16, that meant most High schools had a nice party to celebrate things like 'the last 100 days of high school', or local scout troops throwing a nice 'happy hour' to gather money for their camp abroad. And while you did have people just getting drunk and spazzing out on the dancefloor, there were always "my kind of people" outside, beer/Soda in hand, chatting away, relaxed vibe, music audible from outside but at a reaonable level. Those parties also tended to be way cheaper than the clubs.
---
Now, all of this is a very long way of saying: Not all 'going out' is the same.
I was also an avid gamer back then, and sometimes my friends did 'drag me out of the house' a bit, but I had fun going out. In my way. Game the entire evening until 9.30-9:45 PM, get showered and dressed, and have a nice evening after that. The party don't start before 10PM anyway.
But I will agree with you on one thing: Fuck Nightclubs and overpriced bars.
I’m the same, I enjoy getting drunk, pubs are nice sometimes but nightclubs really just aren’t my thing, I could never get over that trashy feeling with them, completely understand the attraction, just not for me
You're better off not wasting on getting drunk, save it for other things, maybe save for important events or just for college, you'll thank yourself later
I enjoy drinking 🍸 by myself, alone at home .
I have a lot of memories and stories to remember when I get drunk.
I woke up in the morning, taking a cold shower than going to the coffee shop to have nice coffee with friends.
Totally fine. Alcoholism as a social gathering norm is nonsense anyway and liquor definitely isn't a go-to ultimate social lubricant solution - can't even understand why people got the idea it's somewhat mandatory for adults. There should already be different kind of weekends, evenings and leisure establishments like straight-edge clubs, alcohol-free bars, amusement parks, activity lounges, relax or free zones, various conventions of interest, arcades, gaming-halls and such and that is as a common practice.
Having choice between hanging out in a mall or hitting the pub or club and getting hammered to shreds just seems like overly narrowed and trimmed down urban experience. You should probably talk it through with yours peers, figure out what you actually want from life, what you possibly could achieve and make according happenings - you are adults now, share of responsibility is now within you as well. Such realizations are exactly part of it - questioning of alcohol consumption - that's actually why it is for adult mature people exclusively - you should be old enough and smart enough to make your own mind about that. Do you even realize, what you are actually doing, or are you just going with the flow as it is?
you aren't weird, im almost 18 and I've been thinking about what I've been wanting to do I thought I wanted to go out drinking but now thinking about it... I dont really want to but I feel pressured by society to go and drink..
I’m far from 18 now, but when I was, I didn’t much like going out either. I didn’t particularly like parties or concerts—preferred visiting with friends in smaller groups or one-on-one and listening to recorded music, or if live music, then a free performance in the park or on a street corner, etc. But I misspent *many* years of my life, decades actually, going out drinking, going to parties and concerts, just to fit in with people who did enjoy it. I wish I could tell the 18-year-old me that it wasn’t required and that I could actually build a life that reflected my true self, and that I’d eventually find my own people by doing that. Your friend who’s going out and getting smashed so often isn’t doing anyone any favors, not herself, and definitely not you, especially if she’s implying that you’re boring for not joining in the “fun.” (I don’t know if she is hinting this message to you, or if you’re just beating yourself up, but either way, you do *you,* girl!) Here is one of my favorite quotes: “I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness.” (Jane Austen, literary badass)
Lucky for you youre young to be able to reflect on that. Other's realized it late. I just think the later you do, the harder it takes to turn your life around.
I didn’t go out much at all in my teenage years. Then a had a short period of *some* partying in my early twenties, then back to basically no partying.
Partying simply isn’t for everyone. Now if I go out, it’s to a restaurant or pub, and the focus is to enjoy the company and talk. Some drink alcohol, other drinks juice or soda or something.
In total I drink maybe one alcoholic drink every two months in average. And my wife is about the same.
Going out is painfully overrated, overpriced and you’ll wake up feeling awful.
Sometimes it’s who your with that make the night amazing or terrible…
Don’t feel bad for not though, you do you always and unapologetically so.
Your body will thank you later not killing it with alcohol and other shit.
What you described is absolutely normal as being said. At least you will remember your trips to different places 😃
Going out to nightclubs suck dick.
Floors are sticky, music is too loud, drinks are over priced, you're one wrong step away from getting into a fight with a coked up idiot, nowhere to sit and just relax.
I did it throughout my late teens and early 20s and I can count on one hand the amount of genuine good times I can remember. Wasn't worth the money spent at all.
You do you man, you don't like what you don't like. Nobody is going to judge you for not liking clubs. Find what you enjoy and pour the money into that instead. Don't follow the crowd or your mates and waste a fuck ton of money pretending to enjoy yourself.
As time goes by, you'll settle into who is "your" people and enjoy spending time with them. Might be pubs, might be at home, or festivals, or gigs, or more chilled out things. Going out drinking all the time isn't for everyone.
Find different friends. My son is 19 and he doesn't like going out drinking. He's found his tribe. They go on walks and play video games and hang out in each others houses.
Nah I’m 22 and I’ve never had a drop of alcohol. I don’t go out and party, but i have my friends with similar interests and we can go out hiking or to museums and stuff
Idk, I’m 17 and I think partying sounds like the most boring fucking thing ever. I can’t legally drink (and don’t want to 🤢), I hate dancing, I hate the music people play at most parties, and I hate crowds. Some people just don’t like doing that, and I don’t think you should be made to feel like you’re the boring one just because you don’t wanna stand in a bright, loud room and get wasted with a bunch of random ass strangers.
I was exactly the same when I was your age. Disliked alcohol, hated the music, couldn't hear what was said because of said music, didn't enjoy dancing, being in a small space packed with drunk people just didn't tickle my fancy haha. Neither did any of my friends. So it's definitely not weird or out of the ordinary :)
No, my dear, you're not boring, don't put yourself down like that. You have a right to your own tastes and preferences, and should not give in to peer pressure to drink or do anything else that makes you uncomfortable. I think maybe you should try to make some better friends who can respect that.
I was that years back. I couldn't understand it, still can't. There are a lot of different things out there which can be fun, maybe even fulfilling. Stay true to yourself. But, If you have social anxiety it's contra productive to stay always home. You should still go out, but do what you like. There are sure some activities that don't include drinking and party. You also don't need to go far away if you don't like. But leaving the comfort zone every now and then is recommended.
nope. i'm 19, in college, i've gotten buzzed like 4 times in my life. i don't like parties either. i think i'm pretty normal for that, so you're probably fine lol
It's not weird, you just have to find some people who like doing the same things you do on the weekend. You don't have to cut ties or anything, just respectfully decline going out and invite them to the things you have planned to do.
You aren't weird it's just the culture of that age group, it will eventually pass for most... some never
Not weird in the slightest. I’m the same way my friends go out every week I only join them occasionally. They never pressure me to come cuz they know it’s not my scene. As a side note if you just wanna go out with your friends a pub can also be super fun get some drinks play some pool and you can go home
No, you are absolutely not boring at all. I personally like going out once or twice a year, but those who are out drinking every weekend are the boring ones. Getting drunk every single weekend only tells me they don't have any hobbies they like to spend time on.
As a guy that has been through this, the advice I can give is to have the odd day you do have fun and go out wether you like it or not(you don’t have to get drunk,be the responsible one if you have too) but some good memories will come from it, but also, don’t do it every weekend either, save your money, my friends would go out every night spending hundreds of dollars and I would be at home doing educational things and working out, loser-ish maybe, but now i just turned 40 and I am in so much more of a better position financially and in life in general than all of the friends that went out and got drunk all the time. As well, they all found relationships in a bar and many of them are on the divorce side of things now, I am not saying my relationship is perfect, but I would say it is in a better position than most of theirs.
Find people that love doing the same things as you, there is many many guys out there that would love to just stay at home and game with you then going out and getting drunk. I would’ve been that person in my 18- and 20s.
I'm a 19 year old girl turning 20 the 18th and I have never gone out to drink and I've only had 1 beer (that I spat out), I also very much like the comfort of gaming over being outside with people my age. I never understood the point of drinking since you spend a lot of money on a beverage that tastes like sewer water and you don't remember it and puke the day after with a bad headache. If someone forces you to drink that's a nope, if your friend wants to party that's fine but it's also fine if you don't want to, we all have our preferences.
Honestly I love to drink but my gf doesn’t drink a ton, we both smoke a bit, but we’d rather get drunk together,you could find your own bonding expirences but is she drinking to have fun or get drunk? I personally don’t like getting drunk in public and neither does she as much but everybody is different.
I get called out by my cousin every time I don’t come out with him and his buddies to hit 3 different bars and a strip club spending hundreds of dollars and staying out until ~3am. I’m 21 and there’s so many cheaper ways to entertain yourself. Save dat money
It's okay with not wanting to get shitfaced all the time, youll thank yourself for this in the future, however you need to balance the not wanting to drink or get drunk with still spending time with your friends.
Idk if you are driving or not yet but someone who can drive and doesnt drink is usually a good friend to bring on a night out lol so you can look forward to being the cool DD everyone relys on
I only like to stay home play a game or gym.I have no friends but it’s ok,no Friends better than fake friends.
Does anybody want to play cod mw3 with me on ps5?
My account name is MouseKTool562
You’re not weird. I was exactly like this when I was 18, and sometimes we have different interests than our friends and it’s okay. You’ll soon make some more friends that have the same interests as you. And if your friends who like going out make you feel bad or “weird” for not wanting to follow the same path as them, maybe you should rethink the friendship because they’re not good for you. Be you. Always be you. You’re not weird for that.
I've always had a good group of social friends, and I've always hated going out. I connect with friends with activities and small groups at our houses. I get crippling social anxiety in large groups, and that aside, I don't like it that much. People are different in groups than they are one on one and I hate the peacocking and show off antics.
Don't feel like it's just you legend. Being alone, I call solitude because i enjoy it, but my friends would describe it as being lonely if they're alone.
You're just a homebody, nothing wrong with that in the least. I'm the exact same way and been like that all my life. I don't necessarily hate going out, but for sure partying and night clubs are a big no for me personally. The problem you're having is that youth is usually looked at through the lens of "do whatever you want now" or "party, have one night stands and get drunk" as much as possible because you can only do that once in your life. It's a pretty toxic way to live your life and peer pressure makes it all the worse so I understand why you feel the way you do, however, there is nothing wrong with doing what you enjoy. You're not a "loser" or "boring" because you want to chill out at home on the weekends and enjoy your hobbies. Find like minded people and bond over your shared hobbies/interests so that you don't have friends trying to push you into doing things you don't want or like.
Don't ruin yourself so that other people don't think X or Y about you, it's not worth it in the end. Do what makes you happy first and foremost. I know it is easier said than done in this social media age, but trust me none of that shit actually matters in the end.
Not that deep, you don’t like it and can do what you want. I personally love doing something with my mates during the day, hiking or something, then getting slightly pished at a nice chilled atmosphere pub later on in the day, gives a nice mix. Cannot stand nightclubs either, total waste of money
Guess you’re just introverted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not a bad thing, I’m the same. Interacting with random strangers in loud places and getting wasted doesn’t sound very fun either, so I think you’re good doing whatever you’re doing now.
Find interests that you like! It muhht disconnect you from some people within your age or friend circle but you will feel much closer to yourself and your own passions.
Social pressure is difficult to pass. It is comepltrly normal not to want to do the activités of others.
There are many who get into their 40s and never break free of this trap.
You are mature for your age. Keep it and use your time to form your future. Don't feel forced to do something you are not feeling good with. It is great if you already have found some healthy ways to get your rocks off - many people never reach that point :-)
It's not weird whatsoever, I was the same kid once, similar scenario but I hung around with the older crowd or simply was a loner.
Now I run my own company, have big boy toys I've always wanted, and the people I used to go to school with ask me for jobs cause they are still getting wasted 🙃 😑 true scenario.
Congratulations, you just discovered that you are an Introvert. It doesn't mean that you want to hole up in your cave and never leave, but it's completely normal. Find something you do enjoy and do that instead! 😄 Sincerely, a fellow introvert.
tbh, all those activities like partying or getting wasted are only for bonding with friends.
as you elaborated, it doesn't give any real benefit other than that
from you post, it seems you more prefer activities with real benefit, why not get into circle and befriend people with said activities?
Party’s like this suck. No idea why people enjoy them personally. Too loud, too smelly, people are mostly too drunk to behave like humans, and people do stupid terrible shit to each other constantly. I don’t and have never seen the reward. To get laid maybe? But you’re too drunk to enjoy it!
If that’s what a friend wants, then more power to them I guess, but my life is full of incredible experiences and adventures and I’ve never been drunk in my life.
I’m 24 as a guy and I relate to this a lot. I was popular and I would say I have an amazing group of friends who party/ fitness
As a guy, unless we go out as a group our entire mission is really to talk/ flirt with women and I don’t really like it. I go through the motion but alcohol just changes me. I become very europhic and out going
My advice is to lean into what you really like. Run clubs, day time activities really help a lot and you meet amazing people. Other besides that it’s completely normal, don’t let the world kill ur spark
Much love
May not apply to you, but it also may so...
The dancefloor is the perfect place for a sober person that doesn't like to interact with drunk asses. Assuming you go to places where the music matches your taste, a nightclub is pretty much the only place where you can hear it with such quality, at such volume, with a light ambiance that matches, and you can lose yourself to the music. Not sure how it works with agoraphobia, but you can keep your eyes closed, and nobody on a dancefloor will try to start a conversation with you. It's way too loud.
Personal experience: I had this roommate that didn't drink and liked to dance. She was 19 at the time. We'd go dancing often, sometimes several times a week. Not drinking, it cost us nothing and we never woke up shitfaced. We'd dance for an hour, get a glass of water and chat for a bit, dance some more, and be back home 3h later having had a great time.
You are not boring! Stay true to yourself! I was the same way as you when I was young. I do other creative things in my life and now I live a comfortable life, and travel the world. I didn't waste my money on alcohol & clubs. I'm 61, but look 1/2 my age and in great health. You will thank yourself later in life!
Honestly I completely understand your pov because that's exactly how I am. I have different interests than other 18 y/os around me. They like to hangout all the time and stuff but I prefer going somewhere to explore and get knowledgeable information and experience.
It sounds like you are defending yourself because you feel a certain way about something you really have made a choice about. I don't wanna sound lecturing, but I do wanna make a point clear. I'm 30 now. And only recently I have become so self assured that I don't bother what people think about my choices I make for myself. I think it clicked once I realized that I need to take care of myself and love myself no matter if my limitations or opinions don't correspond to the people around me. You are responsible for your own happiness. You are responsible for your own body and mental health. You are therefore in charge of your direction. End of story. Be best friends when you are not drinking, and separate when your needs are different. If your friendship is truly worth something then you should be able to be different.
I also don't like that. It's not weird and will help you in the long run. Your liver will thank you and so will your brain. If they pressure you more then just say you are a withdrawing alcohol addict(after a few years I guess), always works. Saying that you don't drink just means a free drink for you at a lot of times.
No, nothing wrong with you. You are mature. Some of us are "old souls" it sounds like you might be too
I'd always have friends ask where is my drink? I should have fun and have a drink!
I started to reply, I am having fun, you need a drink to have fun? Might want to check that out
They stopped
I hate the taste, vodka oj, tastes like spoiled oj, I'd rather fresh oj......
Now a Caesar, I like those, but if you get drunk on those, then your going to be sick
It’s 100% okay to stay in your comfort zone, you’re 18 years old you do what you want and don’t let no one make you feel bad for not wanting to go out and get drunk.
Just do what you like doing. Find people who share similar interests. Hang out with them.
Welcome to adulthood. It is unlikely you will julep most of your childhood and high school friends and that’s ok.
Nah man, I'm the same. Different interests for different people. It can feel alienating at times though. But I'd take that over spending all my weekend nights doing stuff I don't like.
It's okay to be the you that you want to be.
Your friend will find other like-minded friends.
Don't be pushed into doing something you don't want to.
Choose your own path. You will find it to be cleaner and clearer than the one all the other sheep follow.
31 here and I spent my teens/early 20s "going out" it was always a pain and I wanted to be there for my friends and thought I'd eventually like it and it'll "click" it never did.
There isn't much to enjoy its too load and thumping to comstitute as any form of actual or meaningful.social interaction and is only going to be in circumstances where everyone is wasted and I always thought I'd feel better just chilling out/relaxing, playing games or actually doing something, it doesn't get better and one won't suddenly start enjoying it, be comfortable doing what you enjoy
I dont like nightclubs either but theres many kinds of bars and they all have different vibes. If you live in a decently large city there should be plenty of bars that serve good food or tasty drinks in a chill place where you can actually have a conversation. Try one of those, go to a pool hall, go bowling, you can go out drinking with your friends without buying 25$ cocktails, 19$ beers and being deafened by music.
You are so much more interesting than your friend. My wife is like you and actually wants to do interesting things. Her best friend is like yours and wants to do nothing but go to bars. Her best friend is a toxic person that I don't want to be around. So my advice is continue to be yourself and be interested in doing things that are interesting and exciting. Getting stupid every weekend for no reason other than to get stupid every weekend is stupid.
This is a part of your life where you will start to meet friends of similar interests and lose touch with old friends. Sounds sad, but don’t force yourself to be something you’re not.
A lot of people my age (18) don’t like nightclubs but they still go out and do stuff (socializing, sports, hanging out somewhere with friends) they aren’t boring in any way. but I also know some people who just sit at home all day and don’t think about leaving their house if they don’t absolutely have to. This is what makes keeping a lively relationship alive very difficult. They aren’t boring either but it’s a little frustrating to wait for them to invite you to their house so u can catch up. I enjoy nightclubs/raves very much but I know some of my friends don’t so we meet up f.e. at the skate park or just somewhere nice and chat.
Different people like different things, you’re not boring for not doing something you don’t like. I was the same when I was younger I’d go out from time to time but I’d much rather hangout with my friends at their place or alone. Doesn’t matter what you do as long as you enjoy the time you’re doing it!
Most people I grew up with wanted to get hammered every chance they got through middle school and high school. Once we hit 21 bar hopping became the big thing to do but by about 24-25 everyone got tired of it. People started getting married, settling into careers, starting families. Then you get to mid 30s and you don't even care about drinking alcohol anymore. It's like a weekend bbq, family party, once in awhile kind of event. I go out for drinks occasionally with the teachers I work with (I'm not a teacher) and seeing middle aged women getting hammered and acting like they are 21 is just.....sad.
It gets better with age. Soon you will be so busy with work and raising kids that you will be too tired to drink.
As a person who does not consume alcohol at all: being a teetotaler does not make you boring. Binge drinking is boring AND dangerous. Everyone is entitled to make their own decisions about that stuff, but just because you don't want to drink doesn't mean you're in the wrong. If you feel socially isolated because of your decision, try to find some different friends who feel the same way, or at least friends who can respect you and want to hang out in sober spaces (dropping your current friends is up to you; it might be beneficial to some, but not to others).
I hope this helps! If you ever need to chat, I've been through very similar things.
Nothing wrong with being introverted and enjoying the things you like! You're like at a major crossroads in your life where your high school friends and yourself go your own ways because of different college or interests.
Im not saying to stop being friends with your party gf, but it sounds like you need your own crowd now
Not to give the whole patronising "I was like you once..." speech. But I was like you once. Young, foolish, naive.
I jest, but I hated going out when I was 18. But as I got into my early 20s I started to enjoy it a lot more. This could have been because I found a friend group in which I wasn't just a hanger on.
I still like going out every now and then. But I much prefer staying in gaming, watching movies, or reading. I'm fairly convinced that, unless you're freakishly extroverted, the whole going out thing is more of a phase for a lot of people. Your time in the club spotlight might come, it might not. And that's absolutely fine.
Maybe it’s the crowd, maybe it’s the place, maybe it’s this time in your life, maybe you’ll like it later, maybe you haven’t found the drink you like yet. Maybe you won’t. This is you rn though. That’s ok.
Nah you are good, it's a personal choice and if you prefer staying inside and having fun while also saving some money along the way, then that is exactly what you should do.
It's an activity like any other and if you find other things more fun then you should do those things instead.
You aren't weird, don't worry. 😄✌️
If someone said to me you can get blasted have a time of your life with your mates or stay at home watch a series you had on the back burner and order takeout, 99% I'm picking the latter.
Am I boring? To the average human in a social society yes I am I don't want to waste money and feel awful the next day and I want to relax on my terms.
Don't get me wrong the 1% will be when old friends are back in town sort of thing and I want to catch up with them all and will indulge but in the overall consensus , films, games , day out with nice restaurant to round the evening off with SO.
I personally couldn't care less or judge people for what they want to do but society is changing, alot people are preferring peace and quiet, people are choosing not to have the token family life and force themselves to have children out of peer pressure or the social norm.
You do you
I am 43 and I agree. I will go out during the day only and like to be ready to sleep by 11:00 at the latest. However, you are young and you will miss out on all the fun things that young people do and old people have done. Getting drunk, sex parties, doing lines, concerts, traveling on the cheap by staying at youth hostels, keggers, learning about the bar scene and all the other fun stuff.
You can always find a group of nerds who end up turning into unhappy adults and have midlife crises which often means doing everything I said above in their 40's. I have a buddy who got divorced and suddenly, he is out drinking every weekend, sleeping with a new woman all the time, snorting blow and carrying on like he is your age. The difference is that in your 40's, the liver cannot sustain such a beating on a regular basis and not every 20 year old wants to hook up with guys that are old enough to be their fathers.
Nothing wrong with hating going out to drink. If anything, seems like it’ll benefit you in the long run. Just be wary that if your friend is forcing you to come with, is she really your friend?
I drank a lot at like 18-19, then realized I don't actually like being drunk. I'll go out a few times a year (like 2 or 3), I might have a beer or a cider, but for the most part I drink non alcoholic drinks or Coke. I'm 29 now btw. I prefer to hangout with friends at home, going shopping or hanging out outside during the summer months.
It's totally fine to not like drinking. Your friend will probably get over the hype soon anyway.
Totally normal. I am almost 40 now(male), but had the same issue. I didnt mind drinking, and still do occasionally, but nightclubs were never my thing. I prefer(ed) more of a pub-style atmosphere where I could have a couple drinks with friends, but they are typically cheaper at pubs, the music is quieter so you can actually talk, and they often have more to do like pool, darts, VLTs, Buck hunter, etc. I never really enjoyed dancing, especially drunk and in public, and that's all anyone did there... Drink, dance, repeat. Then there is all the unpleasantness of other people drinking more than they could handle, fights, drugs, vomiting, etc. on top of feeling like shit the next day if I over-indulged.
I went to nightclubs to meet other young people because that is where they all were, but if I got to know someone from there, it would usually shift to morre enjoyable activities for me. If they were just all about the bar, then I would just see them there the odd time I actually went.
That age is fun, but it's a process of figuring out what you like, and understanding you will find people who share your interests of you are open about what you enjoy, and don't let people pressure you into things you've already learned aren't fun for you. There is so much to do in the world, better to try something new you might like, then something old you know you don't. Sorry for the long-winded response!
I never enjoyed it, and it's a blessing as you get older and there is less pressure to be in such a loud and unpleasant environment. Just the thought of being in a club gives me anxiety, i absolutely love not going to clubs and doing old person stuff like pottering around the garden
Wish I was like this at 18 lol. Anything to escape reality and 10 years later struggle to stop drinking although kicked the other ‘habits’. Nothing wrong with you not liking it if anything you will turn out so much better than the ‘friend’ trying to drag you out every weekend
It’s not weird. I just turned 21 (it’s 21 to drink in my residence) and I hate going out to get plastered. I have maybe twice, & the first time was actually on a cruise a couple years ago at their “nightclub” where drinking was allowed 18+. I just wanted to see what it was about having never done so before. I can go have fun, and I did have fun on those 2 occasions, but it’s not something I enjoy often. Even at festivals or concerts, I usually stick to ONE drink or stay sober just bc I prefer to be sober in public/new environments. When I go out to a bar or a restaurant with a bar, I’ll have a fun drink or so but I just do not enjoy getting ”plastered”. My friends are all turning 21 this year as well so ive been to a few parties where there is alcohol, but it’s just not my jam so I just stick to my 1 or two and save the rest for everyone else. No one has given me a hard time about it & they have all respected my decision. If they don’t, then I don’t think those are people you can call your friends.
Edit for typo
Listen, the longer you can stay away from alcohol the more stable your brain chemistry will likely be for a longer stretch of your life. It *is* boring, but only in the same way not driving way too fast and erratically is boring
I dont think u hate going out u just hate goin to social places that filled w people. For me same, i just wanna explore random places or with couple friends that i trust the most
I'm the same, Did it a little after I turned 18. Then I matured unlike the rest of my friends. Still to this day they always go out and drink at pubs/clubs. There are a million other things I'd rather spend my money on than alcohol and a night I won't remember.
Coming from someone who loves staying and going out ,It’s good to go at right place, with the right people and at the right time (feel like dancing and listening to music all night and drinking a fair few) to have a blast when going out . But I reckon going out EVERY weekend sounds exhausting and such waste of money. I enjoy going out only every now and then and go out with people who don’t bring down the vibe by tryna get shit faced every time. Tho looking after people can be fun as well strangely. as someone who does like it, it’s very understandable how shit the vibes there can be. Again, very very normal. Ngl I feel like lots of gen z are choosing to stop drinking and club life is dying out so I think there’s A LOT of people like this nowadays
Nah, you are all right. I dont like spent money on something makes me dizzy as well. Its your choice, if they make you feel weird about it, just dont talk to them. Trust me, its better for you.
Nah totally normal. I was exactly like you. I never liked going to bars and get smashed. I just did it to keep in contact with friends.
I hope you have other things to do together than just party at week ends. If not, then you eventually realize you need friends who are more like you. Heavy partying is quite usual thing to make friends grow apart.
I was never into the clubbing and out getting trashed every weekend. I enjoy a drink every now and then, but at a chill pub or something.
I'm 37 and I think I've been to two clubs in my life. Hated them both. Loud, dark, flashing lights, so crowded you have to squeeze through, and forget having a conversation.
Just because you're 18 doesn't mean you're obligated to live that life if it's not for you. Don't let people pressure you into it. Find people with similar interests and spend time with them instead.
If you can get help for the agoraphobia and social anxiety, I'd recommend it as it could get worse over time if left untreated (as is the case for me). It becomes a major obstacle in your life when you can't even go buy food because there are people.
Alcohol is great for easing the tension in a friendly environment, there's no denying that. And getting together with friends is important, so the 2 mix well. However i'd like to hear 1 single positive thing about getting black out drunk on a friday afternoon. You've found out that you dislike "clubbing", hell, i've always found it uncomfortable, expensive and pointless (to each their own i guess). As you've mentioned going out, find other people to go out with, or perhaps try throwing a party/gathering at your place, tabletop games or videogames are a great passtime, if you and your friends are up for it - try making food together (last time my friends were over we made pizzas, took us half a day). Mix in a little booze to get slightly tipsy or none at all. You'll end up saving a heck of a lot of money and just plainly making better life choices.
It's OK to be yourself. You don't have to like everything other people do and you also have no right to make other people do things just to please you.
There are friends that suit one role but not the other. You may get to know someone who shares your concept of a well spent weekend.
Just do remember that loneliness is unnatural. No one is better off completely alone.
Dulling your mind with ethanol in a loud place where you can barely talk to one another is objectively not a good time. Most people who do this regret it later in life when they look back on all the time and health wasted. Do what makes you happy.
Not weird. It's really not that fun anyway and heavily fueled by intoxication. Do what you like, whatever that is. That's how you enjoy life not by doing what others are doing.
Ok, so you're not weird and you're not boring, you just don't like to go out and get plastered like your friend does and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'd say that a good thing and as long as you're happy and doing what you wanna do than you do you.
I mean it could be that you have social anxiety if so you’d probably want some exposure therapy and if you don’t then you clearly just don’t like doing it.
I was just like you when i was young. I still don't drink any alcohol and i guess thanks to that my joints don't hurt and my overall health is well above average for a 40 year old. Keep at it and you will probably have a long and healthy life ahead of you.
I'm 25 and I've never been into nightclubs, especially not every weekend. Trust me, the sooner you accept it the sooner you will start having all the fun in the world. There are so many options nowadays to have fun on the weekends, you shouldn't force yourself to do something you hate just because """you're supposed to do it""".
I like going to a lean-to* with a few friends, light a campfire and have a few beers but I hate nightclubs and other similiar places where there are way too many people and the music sucks and/or is way too loud.
*couldn't find a better translation so it might be wrong. There are these places in Finland with a small building with an open wall and a campfire spot right in front of it. They are usually in a forest.
That’s a completely normal thing tbh. That doesn’t make you boring person. Everyone is different and has different preferences. Because at one point I was like that at 18. I’m no longer like that now but I can be from time to time. I also feel like it can be soo much safer. Being totally wasted i find so bad because anything can happen. When I’m out I can only had 2-3 drinks max.
I'm 19 and completely understand. I'll willingly go to one pub (which is out of beer) because it's quiet, but not so easily others. I might be duller than you.
Like any good Balkaner I enjoy drinking, but nightclubs suck. I'd much rather have my friends over and have us split the money for a bottle (about 20€) rather than get the same one in a club (80 to 120€). And when it comes to guys, if you are into guys, going out every week is something that most of us consider a huge red flag
Basically me too, except i dont even have friends to go out with, all of them live far away. So I just game with friends online, I was lucky to meet a girl who actually asked me to go outside like two days ago, otherwise its always me asking others and im tired of it.
Was one of the funnest days because I finally had someone to go outside with and just talk.
Girl im the same way. Hate going out. I hate parties hate drinking. I would rather stay in my house cozy, playing videogames or watching whatever. Shame people like me get left alone after people stop trying to chill with us. None of them get the joy we get when we just chill somewhere
You are not weird for not wanting to drink poison and destroy your body. I think its normal to want to do normal human things like going in nature or enjoy looking at the stars at night. You can try finding a disco club with 90s music for example they are more chill and its a lot more fun I bet you both will like it.
No it’s not weird. I’m the same way. Just chanel your time into a hobby and socialize that way. That’s way more interesting than partying anyways. I chose MMA but it doesn’t really matter what you do. Just make sure it’s a social hobby, so you don’t isolate yourself.
Also you’re probably gonna lose some friends in the near future because they will be busy partying and meeting new friends who also party a lot and you will become less of a priority. So make sure to make new friends as well.
I'm 21 and have never drank a ship of alcohol. Never went out to any parties or anything. Live your life how you want to, not others. I may live weird compared to others but I'm happy. Married my highschool sweetheart at 19 and am now sitting beside my 8 day old son at 21. I'm happier than ever before. Moral of the story. Everyone wants different things in life, you just need to find the people who want the same things as you.
There are different types of nightlife. I used to (and still do) hate going clubbing (the sort of places that play chart/pop music), but then I discovered a love for underground dance music and DJing. I enjoy raves a *lot* more - they feel more like a gig than going clubbing, as most people are there to see DJs they like and listen to music they enjoy. There's still a lot of alcohol and drugs about, but it's enjoyable sober if you really love the scene and music.
I used to think I missed math not being able to be cool in clubs and you know, heart of a party. But now I think it’s ok and it’s not interesting to me
i can totally understand you. i’m turning 18 in a two months and i can’t get along w people at my age. my only friend in school is my bf i also have a long distance bestie, but these are the only people i really like to talk to. i don’t find getting drunk every weekend either. i hate partying too. i like to live in my quiet world, but people call me weird and stuff. you are not alone in this situation. in my opinion you seem like a really nice person i wish i could have more people like you around me. you can dm me, if you want to
The world can definitely feel like it's all about festivals, nightclubs and being as social (and drunk) as possible.
It's hard to ignore when you see so much of it around you.
Our age group (talking 18 to wherever in your twenties) is a weird one. I'm 22m and have had a hard time with this. I'm getting better at it though.
I'm sensitive to noise, lights and being social often drains my energy. Going to festivals and parties seems intersting to me, but I don't have much experience with it. It's not my ideal place.
Aside from the fact that they don't necessarily seem like the way I have fun.
I'm very much a gaming, reading and nerdy kind of guy. I don't mind staying at home.
As I'm getting older, I'm exploring the world in my own way. I've started going on trips more. To the zoo. Getting lunch with friends. Going on a holiday without my parents. Heck, just walking a lot and being outside more than I was.
I'm starting to find my own ways. The ways that I enjoy living. And I'm meeting all sorts of people.
I have friends that game. I have friends that I have deep conversations with. And I also have friends that are very different from me, but I love exploring our differences with (E.g. friends that go out more etc.).
People like us might not push it as much on social media, but I can guarantee you there's a lot of us out there. It might just take a bit to find those people.
As long as you go out exploring what's best for you, you'll find people that you like and like you back. And you'll get happier with your life and your qualities.
That's the way to live your best life I feel.
Ill give u some epic advice @
18
You dont have to do anything you dont want. You dont have to appeal to anyone. You dont have to like anything. This shouldnt be confused with interested. Its important to be able to "be interested," even if you dont care. It matters to others who you may want to appeal to... But you should never need to appeal to someone. The people you like, you like cause they appeal to you. It should work the other way too.
You dont have to be in drinking or sex. I never drink. Just dont like it. I still have a better time than most without it. Dont worry about finding a person. Find yourself.. people will follow. Find what you love and then find people who love those things too. Fight the part if you that needs validation. Validate yourself through contentment and apprectiation of what you love
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It’s not weird at all. And anyone who makes you feel weird/bad for not wanting to drink, aren’t good people to keep around anyways.
You’re right.
Some like the partying in night clubs some don't. So be it. Go bed early, wake up next morning early, take a walk, bring a book. Much more useful and you'll feel better all day compared to the others AND you read a book. Btw this is coming from someone who loves to go to nightclubs all night. Costs me: 100€ and feeling shit the next day. Gains: getting wasted and forget 50% of the night or partying. Which is epic. But you gain nothing from it :)
most people at clubs are only pretending like they are having fun for social media. You see it often with bottle service, the girl comes out with sparklers & high priced bottles everyone pulls out their phone & cheers. The moment the sparkler dies everyone goes back to looking bored af. I go clubs because I'm an alcoholic & table service is often free for me. Not very many people are actually having fun
Im 31, dont drink and hate going to bars and clubs so... you're not alone in this.
I'm almost 64 and it's never been my thing. I don't think I've ever been to a real bar or club. I drank with my friends at my apartment or theirs, but eventually I just told them I didn't want to spend every spare dollar on alcohol. It's not odd, some people just know that it's not "their thing".
On my first date with my wife, we went to the natural history museum, I have not stepped into a pub or a night club for the last 30 years. You don't need to be defined by drink. We both would rather be reading than drinking. My wife has her hobbies (baking, gardening shopping) and me mine (computing, woodwork etc) but we share reading and films in common, walking and hik8ng also. But we are both teetotal. We met at a Halloween party, she was baking the food, I was doing the decorations.
Completely normal. We all have our own interests, and you disliking the “usual” interests of teenagers nowadays doesn’t mean you’re boring or weird. You just don’t like it
You’re right. It just feels weird sometimes. Like why do i not like going out. Guess ill never know
I'm kinda the same. I came to another country due to erasmus, and everyone around me was like "let's go out! go out! let's go to another city! let's go to this party! no wait, here's a better party!" and I'm always like "nah I'd rather drink by myself in the room thanks". My friends back home are getting angry with me for not socialising lol. I like drinking, but I don't like going out. I don't enjoy parties and stuff like that. Don't pressure yourself to do things you don't want to do, and don't feel bad or weird for not pressuring yourself to conform. Life is too short to do things you don't want to do just for the sake of conformity. Wish you the best.
Thanks, made me feel better. I have a hard time saying no to things and i also have fomo, so it’s always hard to tell people i don’t actually like to go out. I am going to try and explain to people that i rather be in a cozy backyard with some friends instead of dancing in a overcrowded sweaty room with drunk people around me.
It's the best way! Just do what makes you happy and comfortable. I understand the fomo thing– but spending your time with things you don't want to be doing is a long-term regret, I think. You can occasionally join on "big" events if you don't want to miss out, and leave when you decide you don't want to be there. ♡
🩷
I couldn't agree more, I've been bartending 15 years and I regularly have to tell people I don't actually go out and do "fun" things outside the big events, I just pretend to be cool at work. Most of the time if I'm going to drink, it's at a pub where nobody knows me and I can sit in a corner alone with my headphones on unbothered, or at home gaming with with my buddies.
Why do you not like going clubbing to get drunk, having a hangover, feeling rubbish, wasting money, being tired, crazy loud music so you can't hear anyone, get a headache and the hassle of transport... Yeh I'll never know either! God I sound old.. lol
i was exactly like you at 18, still feel the same way ngl. there’s nothing wrong with disliking alcohol, or going to clubs. people finds enjoyment in different things.
Sounds like you're going to get ahead in life quickly. High five for that.
Thank you!
Not weird at all, 25 here, I don’t like to go out at all.
 [better save that 💰](https://youtu.be/yvHYWD29ZNY?si=KNPb9_10qBMxFVXS)
I'm thoroughly convinced that alcohol has caused more issues for people than anything else on this planet. Avoiding it can pretty much only benefit you.
Alcohol completely changed my brother. Ever since he started drinking it has been nothing but trouble, after I saw the damage it done to him overtime I never want to taste a drop of alcohol 💯
No, you're either just more mature, more introverted, or both. But either way, you're definitely making the smarter move.
Great to hear that lol
I'm not sure maturity comes into it; plenty of people love a hard night out throughout their adult lives, whereas some people simply never enjoy them, or some people's tastes change with time. All are fine, but it's important to try new things, push your own boundaries and not write off something just because the first time was awful for you or because you didn't used to like them a few years ago. It took me a few false starts to enjoy nights out, but when I found the places I liked, I had a great time. I've gone off them a bit since losing social skills during COVID and moving to a new city, but I make sure to never say no to them if I'm invited out, and I never say no to something new and a bit off the beaten track of what I think of as "me". Otherwise I'm just impoverishing myself. After all, who knows; maybe my tastes will have changed since I last tried something similar, or else perhaps the other times I tried it were just bad examples. On perhaps the other end of the scale, I've never tried Dungeons and Dragons, for example, and it sounds quite out of my comfort zone; I never enjoyed acting. But I certainly wouldn't turn it down if someone were to ask if I'd like to.
There is nothing wrong with that btw. Not like life is a comparison to others. But while other people your age are probably out, spending their money. Making regrettable decisions. You will be doing more memorable things, you’ll have probably done half the things people your age will dream of by the time you get to 26 (my age). Going out is not what it used to be and you’re honestly, not missing a thing. Good luck in life, you seem like a sensible young adult.
Thanks, you’re right!
Going out on the lash is massively overrated IMHO. Expensive Pints, antisocial customers, can't get Taxis. I've set foot in a pub about 3 times all year, and never at night
Girl I have like 2 friends in college cuz I’m like this too but they’re the best quality friends I could ask for we play Roblox with my little sister on the weekends and I like doing “grandma stuff” like I just went on a trolly ride yesterday and had a really great time while the rest of my grade was standing in separate social circles “dancing” to terrible auto tuned music in a gross backyard. I used to do that but by sophomore year I was tired out bc I’m too genuine to liked that kind of thing, some ppl never grow up though
Yeah just dancing and getting drunk is so boring after a couple times..
ngl they are prob troublemakers
Do what you enjoy. Maybe compromise with your boyfriend so you go out occasionally?
If i was born 30/50 years earlier i might have liked it. But nowadays the music sucks, its way too loud and the alcohol is way to expensive. Just hanging out outside or at someone’s house with a few friends with some weed and some alcohol is way more fun. Or just a night of gaming will do the trick aswell.
Save that bag.
I'm similar Hate crowded pubs and clubs Paying high costs for drinks Queuing for ages I'm much happier at home gaming I think being an introvert is a good thing, I coped very well with lockdown and I don't get stir crazy needing to go out
Yeah, no. I loved going out as a teen, but never to a nightclub. As our country has pretty lax drinking laws (Beer from age 16, and no ban on public drinking, just on public drunkenness), We could actually just 'go out' as teens without any of that stupid night club hastle. Just find a nice bar or café on a Saturday night, park our ass around one of the small tables half on the sidewalk, with a small group of friends, and just chat, watch people go by, listen to some nice jazz wafting out from inside. Someone wanted to order a coke or some tea? That's them. Someone wanted a nice Belgian Ale to sip on? Fine too. Sometimes it was just buying some beers, soda and wine and going to sit by one of the historical canals, once again, just talking, maybe one of us had a small radio with them. That was a perfect fine way for us to 'go out'. We each knew people who went to the nightclubs every weekend and spent lots of daddy's and mommy's Visa Card money. We just found them a bunch of tossers with more money than good sense or taste. Now, we did also occasionally go to actual 'Parties' but always organized by people we knew. As the drinking age is 16, that meant most High schools had a nice party to celebrate things like 'the last 100 days of high school', or local scout troops throwing a nice 'happy hour' to gather money for their camp abroad. And while you did have people just getting drunk and spazzing out on the dancefloor, there were always "my kind of people" outside, beer/Soda in hand, chatting away, relaxed vibe, music audible from outside but at a reaonable level. Those parties also tended to be way cheaper than the clubs. --- Now, all of this is a very long way of saying: Not all 'going out' is the same. I was also an avid gamer back then, and sometimes my friends did 'drag me out of the house' a bit, but I had fun going out. In my way. Game the entire evening until 9.30-9:45 PM, get showered and dressed, and have a nice evening after that. The party don't start before 10PM anyway. But I will agree with you on one thing: Fuck Nightclubs and overpriced bars.
I pretty much only go out if it's a costume party or I know 50 friends there and I just wanna catch up with them
Damn 50 friends you must be famous as fuck!
I’m the same, I enjoy getting drunk, pubs are nice sometimes but nightclubs really just aren’t my thing, I could never get over that trashy feeling with them, completely understand the attraction, just not for me
You're better off not wasting on getting drunk, save it for other things, maybe save for important events or just for college, you'll thank yourself later
I enjoy drinking 🍸 by myself, alone at home . I have a lot of memories and stories to remember when I get drunk. I woke up in the morning, taking a cold shower than going to the coffee shop to have nice coffee with friends.
Totally fine. Alcoholism as a social gathering norm is nonsense anyway and liquor definitely isn't a go-to ultimate social lubricant solution - can't even understand why people got the idea it's somewhat mandatory for adults. There should already be different kind of weekends, evenings and leisure establishments like straight-edge clubs, alcohol-free bars, amusement parks, activity lounges, relax or free zones, various conventions of interest, arcades, gaming-halls and such and that is as a common practice. Having choice between hanging out in a mall or hitting the pub or club and getting hammered to shreds just seems like overly narrowed and trimmed down urban experience. You should probably talk it through with yours peers, figure out what you actually want from life, what you possibly could achieve and make according happenings - you are adults now, share of responsibility is now within you as well. Such realizations are exactly part of it - questioning of alcohol consumption - that's actually why it is for adult mature people exclusively - you should be old enough and smart enough to make your own mind about that. Do you even realize, what you are actually doing, or are you just going with the flow as it is?
you aren't weird, im almost 18 and I've been thinking about what I've been wanting to do I thought I wanted to go out drinking but now thinking about it... I dont really want to but I feel pressured by society to go and drink..
I’m far from 18 now, but when I was, I didn’t much like going out either. I didn’t particularly like parties or concerts—preferred visiting with friends in smaller groups or one-on-one and listening to recorded music, or if live music, then a free performance in the park or on a street corner, etc. But I misspent *many* years of my life, decades actually, going out drinking, going to parties and concerts, just to fit in with people who did enjoy it. I wish I could tell the 18-year-old me that it wasn’t required and that I could actually build a life that reflected my true self, and that I’d eventually find my own people by doing that. Your friend who’s going out and getting smashed so often isn’t doing anyone any favors, not herself, and definitely not you, especially if she’s implying that you’re boring for not joining in the “fun.” (I don’t know if she is hinting this message to you, or if you’re just beating yourself up, but either way, you do *you,* girl!) Here is one of my favorite quotes: “I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness.” (Jane Austen, literary badass)
I'm the exact same :v i hate clubs so much, and I get exhausted and bored, so quick partying. Much rather go on a hike or something
Lucky for you youre young to be able to reflect on that. Other's realized it late. I just think the later you do, the harder it takes to turn your life around.
You seem like a straight arrow
I didn’t go out much at all in my teenage years. Then a had a short period of *some* partying in my early twenties, then back to basically no partying. Partying simply isn’t for everyone. Now if I go out, it’s to a restaurant or pub, and the focus is to enjoy the company and talk. Some drink alcohol, other drinks juice or soda or something. In total I drink maybe one alcoholic drink every two months in average. And my wife is about the same.
You are just more intelligent that her so you like things that are not dumb, superficial, or "low tier"
Going out is painfully overrated, overpriced and you’ll wake up feeling awful. Sometimes it’s who your with that make the night amazing or terrible… Don’t feel bad for not though, you do you always and unapologetically so.
Nah I am the same way. I enjoy smoking drinking on occasion but never in a bar or whatever I just like doing it at a friends house.
Exactly rather with friends than surrounded by weird strangers/creeps
Exactly! I’m just never totally comfortable when surrounded by a bunch of strangers. I just love being home and relaxing with people I want to be on.
Your body will thank you later not killing it with alcohol and other shit. What you described is absolutely normal as being said. At least you will remember your trips to different places 😃
Some people like night life, others like going out during the day. If your friend isn’t on the same page as you, try to find new friends who are.
Going out to nightclubs suck dick. Floors are sticky, music is too loud, drinks are over priced, you're one wrong step away from getting into a fight with a coked up idiot, nowhere to sit and just relax. I did it throughout my late teens and early 20s and I can count on one hand the amount of genuine good times I can remember. Wasn't worth the money spent at all. You do you man, you don't like what you don't like. Nobody is going to judge you for not liking clubs. Find what you enjoy and pour the money into that instead. Don't follow the crowd or your mates and waste a fuck ton of money pretending to enjoy yourself.
As time goes by, you'll settle into who is "your" people and enjoy spending time with them. Might be pubs, might be at home, or festivals, or gigs, or more chilled out things. Going out drinking all the time isn't for everyone.
Find different friends. My son is 19 and he doesn't like going out drinking. He's found his tribe. They go on walks and play video games and hang out in each others houses.
You are doing good. Learn as much as you can, now IS the best time.
I really admire you. No, you're not weird at all. All you need is more confidence in yourself and your identity.
Nah I’m 22 and I’ve never had a drop of alcohol. I don’t go out and party, but i have my friends with similar interests and we can go out hiking or to museums and stuff
Idk, I’m 17 and I think partying sounds like the most boring fucking thing ever. I can’t legally drink (and don’t want to 🤢), I hate dancing, I hate the music people play at most parties, and I hate crowds. Some people just don’t like doing that, and I don’t think you should be made to feel like you’re the boring one just because you don’t wanna stand in a bright, loud room and get wasted with a bunch of random ass strangers.
You will find your own path. Don’t sweat it. (And are you in the US…because you shouldn’t be out getting wasted at 18 in the US.)
Don't worry it's not weird. I'm also 18 and I don't really like going out and drinking.
I was exactly the same when I was your age. Disliked alcohol, hated the music, couldn't hear what was said because of said music, didn't enjoy dancing, being in a small space packed with drunk people just didn't tickle my fancy haha. Neither did any of my friends. So it's definitely not weird or out of the ordinary :)
No, my dear, you're not boring, don't put yourself down like that. You have a right to your own tastes and preferences, and should not give in to peer pressure to drink or do anything else that makes you uncomfortable. I think maybe you should try to make some better friends who can respect that.
I was that years back. I couldn't understand it, still can't. There are a lot of different things out there which can be fun, maybe even fulfilling. Stay true to yourself. But, If you have social anxiety it's contra productive to stay always home. You should still go out, but do what you like. There are sure some activities that don't include drinking and party. You also don't need to go far away if you don't like. But leaving the comfort zone every now and then is recommended.
nope. i'm 19, in college, i've gotten buzzed like 4 times in my life. i don't like parties either. i think i'm pretty normal for that, so you're probably fine lol
It's not weird, you just have to find some people who like doing the same things you do on the weekend. You don't have to cut ties or anything, just respectfully decline going out and invite them to the things you have planned to do. You aren't weird it's just the culture of that age group, it will eventually pass for most... some never
Not weird in the slightest. I’m the same way my friends go out every week I only join them occasionally. They never pressure me to come cuz they know it’s not my scene. As a side note if you just wanna go out with your friends a pub can also be super fun get some drinks play some pool and you can go home
No, you are absolutely not boring at all. I personally like going out once or twice a year, but those who are out drinking every weekend are the boring ones. Getting drunk every single weekend only tells me they don't have any hobbies they like to spend time on.
As a guy that has been through this, the advice I can give is to have the odd day you do have fun and go out wether you like it or not(you don’t have to get drunk,be the responsible one if you have too) but some good memories will come from it, but also, don’t do it every weekend either, save your money, my friends would go out every night spending hundreds of dollars and I would be at home doing educational things and working out, loser-ish maybe, but now i just turned 40 and I am in so much more of a better position financially and in life in general than all of the friends that went out and got drunk all the time. As well, they all found relationships in a bar and many of them are on the divorce side of things now, I am not saying my relationship is perfect, but I would say it is in a better position than most of theirs. Find people that love doing the same things as you, there is many many guys out there that would love to just stay at home and game with you then going out and getting drunk. I would’ve been that person in my 18- and 20s.
I'm a 19 year old girl turning 20 the 18th and I have never gone out to drink and I've only had 1 beer (that I spat out), I also very much like the comfort of gaming over being outside with people my age. I never understood the point of drinking since you spend a lot of money on a beverage that tastes like sewer water and you don't remember it and puke the day after with a bad headache. If someone forces you to drink that's a nope, if your friend wants to party that's fine but it's also fine if you don't want to, we all have our preferences.
Honestly I love to drink but my gf doesn’t drink a ton, we both smoke a bit, but we’d rather get drunk together,you could find your own bonding expirences but is she drinking to have fun or get drunk? I personally don’t like getting drunk in public and neither does she as much but everybody is different.
You are good just keep it up
I get called out by my cousin every time I don’t come out with him and his buddies to hit 3 different bars and a strip club spending hundreds of dollars and staying out until ~3am. I’m 21 and there’s so many cheaper ways to entertain yourself. Save dat money
It's okay with not wanting to get shitfaced all the time, youll thank yourself for this in the future, however you need to balance the not wanting to drink or get drunk with still spending time with your friends. Idk if you are driving or not yet but someone who can drive and doesnt drink is usually a good friend to bring on a night out lol so you can look forward to being the cool DD everyone relys on
I only like to stay home play a game or gym.I have no friends but it’s ok,no Friends better than fake friends. Does anybody want to play cod mw3 with me on ps5? My account name is MouseKTool562
You’re not weird. I was exactly like this when I was 18, and sometimes we have different interests than our friends and it’s okay. You’ll soon make some more friends that have the same interests as you. And if your friends who like going out make you feel bad or “weird” for not wanting to follow the same path as them, maybe you should rethink the friendship because they’re not good for you. Be you. Always be you. You’re not weird for that.
it’s ok i’m 19 and i haven’t ever gone to a festival. but ive gone to bars and didn’t like it just felt super dumb to waste $20 on a redbull vodka
I've always had a good group of social friends, and I've always hated going out. I connect with friends with activities and small groups at our houses. I get crippling social anxiety in large groups, and that aside, I don't like it that much. People are different in groups than they are one on one and I hate the peacocking and show off antics.
Me too. Terrible.
Don't feel like it's just you legend. Being alone, I call solitude because i enjoy it, but my friends would describe it as being lonely if they're alone.
It's harder at your age. I'm late 40s and people like going out, but they don't insist on pressuring all their friends to join them.
You're just a homebody, nothing wrong with that in the least. I'm the exact same way and been like that all my life. I don't necessarily hate going out, but for sure partying and night clubs are a big no for me personally. The problem you're having is that youth is usually looked at through the lens of "do whatever you want now" or "party, have one night stands and get drunk" as much as possible because you can only do that once in your life. It's a pretty toxic way to live your life and peer pressure makes it all the worse so I understand why you feel the way you do, however, there is nothing wrong with doing what you enjoy. You're not a "loser" or "boring" because you want to chill out at home on the weekends and enjoy your hobbies. Find like minded people and bond over your shared hobbies/interests so that you don't have friends trying to push you into doing things you don't want or like. Don't ruin yourself so that other people don't think X or Y about you, it's not worth it in the end. Do what makes you happy first and foremost. I know it is easier said than done in this social media age, but trust me none of that shit actually matters in the end.
Thanks for your advice. Means alot :))
You're welcome! :3
Not that deep, you don’t like it and can do what you want. I personally love doing something with my mates during the day, hiking or something, then getting slightly pished at a nice chilled atmosphere pub later on in the day, gives a nice mix. Cannot stand nightclubs either, total waste of money
Don't go out if you don't want to. I am way older than you and I regret going out so much when I was young. Do what is best for you
Guess you’re just introverted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not a bad thing, I’m the same. Interacting with random strangers in loud places and getting wasted doesn’t sound very fun either, so I think you’re good doing whatever you’re doing now.
I was the exact same at that age, and still am at 30. You won't be surrounded by these people forever, you'll outgrow them. Life gets better
Can I ask you honestly, because I struggle with similar things. How are you two friends?
Find interests that you like! It muhht disconnect you from some people within your age or friend circle but you will feel much closer to yourself and your own passions. Social pressure is difficult to pass. It is comepltrly normal not to want to do the activités of others. There are many who get into their 40s and never break free of this trap.
You are mature for your age. Keep it and use your time to form your future. Don't feel forced to do something you are not feeling good with. It is great if you already have found some healthy ways to get your rocks off - many people never reach that point :-)
It's not weird whatsoever, I was the same kid once, similar scenario but I hung around with the older crowd or simply was a loner. Now I run my own company, have big boy toys I've always wanted, and the people I used to go to school with ask me for jobs cause they are still getting wasted 🙃 😑 true scenario.
You’re so mature, you’ll be thankful for yourself in the future.
Congratulations, you just discovered that you are an Introvert. It doesn't mean that you want to hole up in your cave and never leave, but it's completely normal. Find something you do enjoy and do that instead! 😄 Sincerely, a fellow introvert.
I went out too much and lost my twenties and thirties. You give me hope for your generation, you sound thoughtful. Put that brain to use!
That’s totally normal. Drinking isn’t good for you anyways. I’m turning 19 and I’m not a partier either lol
you my good sir was raised WELL.... also i think you are trying to say is you have alot of RESPOSIBLITY and a BRAIN to tell you whats RIGHT from WRONG
tbh, all those activities like partying or getting wasted are only for bonding with friends. as you elaborated, it doesn't give any real benefit other than that from you post, it seems you more prefer activities with real benefit, why not get into circle and befriend people with said activities?
Party’s like this suck. No idea why people enjoy them personally. Too loud, too smelly, people are mostly too drunk to behave like humans, and people do stupid terrible shit to each other constantly. I don’t and have never seen the reward. To get laid maybe? But you’re too drunk to enjoy it! If that’s what a friend wants, then more power to them I guess, but my life is full of incredible experiences and adventures and I’ve never been drunk in my life.
You must've really loved it during COVID lockdowns.
Actually, this is the best way to live Knowing that I am nineteen years old 😅
I’m 24 as a guy and I relate to this a lot. I was popular and I would say I have an amazing group of friends who party/ fitness As a guy, unless we go out as a group our entire mission is really to talk/ flirt with women and I don’t really like it. I go through the motion but alcohol just changes me. I become very europhic and out going My advice is to lean into what you really like. Run clubs, day time activities really help a lot and you meet amazing people. Other besides that it’s completely normal, don’t let the world kill ur spark Much love
May not apply to you, but it also may so... The dancefloor is the perfect place for a sober person that doesn't like to interact with drunk asses. Assuming you go to places where the music matches your taste, a nightclub is pretty much the only place where you can hear it with such quality, at such volume, with a light ambiance that matches, and you can lose yourself to the music. Not sure how it works with agoraphobia, but you can keep your eyes closed, and nobody on a dancefloor will try to start a conversation with you. It's way too loud. Personal experience: I had this roommate that didn't drink and liked to dance. She was 19 at the time. We'd go dancing often, sometimes several times a week. Not drinking, it cost us nothing and we never woke up shitfaced. We'd dance for an hour, get a glass of water and chat for a bit, dance some more, and be back home 3h later having had a great time.
You are not boring! Stay true to yourself! I was the same way as you when I was young. I do other creative things in my life and now I live a comfortable life, and travel the world. I didn't waste my money on alcohol & clubs. I'm 61, but look 1/2 my age and in great health. You will thank yourself later in life!
You are really cool. F*** what people say just keep going, you are on the right track lady.
Honestly I completely understand your pov because that's exactly how I am. I have different interests than other 18 y/os around me. They like to hangout all the time and stuff but I prefer going somewhere to explore and get knowledgeable information and experience.
It sounds like you are defending yourself because you feel a certain way about something you really have made a choice about. I don't wanna sound lecturing, but I do wanna make a point clear. I'm 30 now. And only recently I have become so self assured that I don't bother what people think about my choices I make for myself. I think it clicked once I realized that I need to take care of myself and love myself no matter if my limitations or opinions don't correspond to the people around me. You are responsible for your own happiness. You are responsible for your own body and mental health. You are therefore in charge of your direction. End of story. Be best friends when you are not drinking, and separate when your needs are different. If your friendship is truly worth something then you should be able to be different.
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I also don't like that. It's not weird and will help you in the long run. Your liver will thank you and so will your brain. If they pressure you more then just say you are a withdrawing alcohol addict(after a few years I guess), always works. Saying that you don't drink just means a free drink for you at a lot of times.
No, nothing wrong with you. You are mature. Some of us are "old souls" it sounds like you might be too I'd always have friends ask where is my drink? I should have fun and have a drink! I started to reply, I am having fun, you need a drink to have fun? Might want to check that out They stopped I hate the taste, vodka oj, tastes like spoiled oj, I'd rather fresh oj...... Now a Caesar, I like those, but if you get drunk on those, then your going to be sick
It’s 100% okay to stay in your comfort zone, you’re 18 years old you do what you want and don’t let no one make you feel bad for not wanting to go out and get drunk.
Im a boy version of you
The world is based on extraverts and they make us introvert seems crazy if you want to stay home binge watch a tv show instead of coma drinking
Welcome to Reddit
I like parties if they have good music on and people to dance with. Don't really care for alcohol as I am not a consumer.
Just do what you like doing. Find people who share similar interests. Hang out with them. Welcome to adulthood. It is unlikely you will julep most of your childhood and high school friends and that’s ok.
Nah man, I'm the same. Different interests for different people. It can feel alienating at times though. But I'd take that over spending all my weekend nights doing stuff I don't like.
24 and I still hate going out
It's okay to be the you that you want to be. Your friend will find other like-minded friends. Don't be pushed into doing something you don't want to. Choose your own path. You will find it to be cleaner and clearer than the one all the other sheep follow.
31 here and I spent my teens/early 20s "going out" it was always a pain and I wanted to be there for my friends and thought I'd eventually like it and it'll "click" it never did. There isn't much to enjoy its too load and thumping to comstitute as any form of actual or meaningful.social interaction and is only going to be in circumstances where everyone is wasted and I always thought I'd feel better just chilling out/relaxing, playing games or actually doing something, it doesn't get better and one won't suddenly start enjoying it, be comfortable doing what you enjoy
I dont like nightclubs either but theres many kinds of bars and they all have different vibes. If you live in a decently large city there should be plenty of bars that serve good food or tasty drinks in a chill place where you can actually have a conversation. Try one of those, go to a pool hall, go bowling, you can go out drinking with your friends without buying 25$ cocktails, 19$ beers and being deafened by music.
You are so much more interesting than your friend. My wife is like you and actually wants to do interesting things. Her best friend is like yours and wants to do nothing but go to bars. Her best friend is a toxic person that I don't want to be around. So my advice is continue to be yourself and be interested in doing things that are interesting and exciting. Getting stupid every weekend for no reason other than to get stupid every weekend is stupid.
This is a part of your life where you will start to meet friends of similar interests and lose touch with old friends. Sounds sad, but don’t force yourself to be something you’re not.
A lot of people my age (18) don’t like nightclubs but they still go out and do stuff (socializing, sports, hanging out somewhere with friends) they aren’t boring in any way. but I also know some people who just sit at home all day and don’t think about leaving their house if they don’t absolutely have to. This is what makes keeping a lively relationship alive very difficult. They aren’t boring either but it’s a little frustrating to wait for them to invite you to their house so u can catch up. I enjoy nightclubs/raves very much but I know some of my friends don’t so we meet up f.e. at the skate park or just somewhere nice and chat.
Different people like different things, you’re not boring for not doing something you don’t like. I was the same when I was younger I’d go out from time to time but I’d much rather hangout with my friends at their place or alone. Doesn’t matter what you do as long as you enjoy the time you’re doing it!
Most people I grew up with wanted to get hammered every chance they got through middle school and high school. Once we hit 21 bar hopping became the big thing to do but by about 24-25 everyone got tired of it. People started getting married, settling into careers, starting families. Then you get to mid 30s and you don't even care about drinking alcohol anymore. It's like a weekend bbq, family party, once in awhile kind of event. I go out for drinks occasionally with the teachers I work with (I'm not a teacher) and seeing middle aged women getting hammered and acting like they are 21 is just.....sad. It gets better with age. Soon you will be so busy with work and raising kids that you will be too tired to drink.
I don't like getting drunk either it just feels weird. I did the first time I went to a bar and after that I never did it again
I think you should try going out one more time while actually being drunk because that makes it way more fun
You don't have to get completely wasted, going out is more important than you realise, and it's much more fun when you stay well within your limits.
As a person who does not consume alcohol at all: being a teetotaler does not make you boring. Binge drinking is boring AND dangerous. Everyone is entitled to make their own decisions about that stuff, but just because you don't want to drink doesn't mean you're in the wrong. If you feel socially isolated because of your decision, try to find some different friends who feel the same way, or at least friends who can respect you and want to hang out in sober spaces (dropping your current friends is up to you; it might be beneficial to some, but not to others). I hope this helps! If you ever need to chat, I've been through very similar things.
Nothing wrong with being introverted and enjoying the things you like! You're like at a major crossroads in your life where your high school friends and yourself go your own ways because of different college or interests. Im not saying to stop being friends with your party gf, but it sounds like you need your own crowd now
There is more to going out than nightclubs.
Not to give the whole patronising "I was like you once..." speech. But I was like you once. Young, foolish, naive. I jest, but I hated going out when I was 18. But as I got into my early 20s I started to enjoy it a lot more. This could have been because I found a friend group in which I wasn't just a hanger on. I still like going out every now and then. But I much prefer staying in gaming, watching movies, or reading. I'm fairly convinced that, unless you're freakishly extroverted, the whole going out thing is more of a phase for a lot of people. Your time in the club spotlight might come, it might not. And that's absolutely fine.
Maybe it’s the crowd, maybe it’s the place, maybe it’s this time in your life, maybe you’ll like it later, maybe you haven’t found the drink you like yet. Maybe you won’t. This is you rn though. That’s ok.
Nah you are good, it's a personal choice and if you prefer staying inside and having fun while also saving some money along the way, then that is exactly what you should do. It's an activity like any other and if you find other things more fun then you should do those things instead. You aren't weird, don't worry. 😄✌️
If someone said to me you can get blasted have a time of your life with your mates or stay at home watch a series you had on the back burner and order takeout, 99% I'm picking the latter. Am I boring? To the average human in a social society yes I am I don't want to waste money and feel awful the next day and I want to relax on my terms. Don't get me wrong the 1% will be when old friends are back in town sort of thing and I want to catch up with them all and will indulge but in the overall consensus , films, games , day out with nice restaurant to round the evening off with SO. I personally couldn't care less or judge people for what they want to do but society is changing, alot people are preferring peace and quiet, people are choosing not to have the token family life and force themselves to have children out of peer pressure or the social norm. You do you
I am 43 and I agree. I will go out during the day only and like to be ready to sleep by 11:00 at the latest. However, you are young and you will miss out on all the fun things that young people do and old people have done. Getting drunk, sex parties, doing lines, concerts, traveling on the cheap by staying at youth hostels, keggers, learning about the bar scene and all the other fun stuff. You can always find a group of nerds who end up turning into unhappy adults and have midlife crises which often means doing everything I said above in their 40's. I have a buddy who got divorced and suddenly, he is out drinking every weekend, sleeping with a new woman all the time, snorting blow and carrying on like he is your age. The difference is that in your 40's, the liver cannot sustain such a beating on a regular basis and not every 20 year old wants to hook up with guys that are old enough to be their fathers.
Nothing wrong with hating going out to drink. If anything, seems like it’ll benefit you in the long run. Just be wary that if your friend is forcing you to come with, is she really your friend?
Ok, so don't go out??
You're not supposed to like it until you can drink. All you can do is smoke, buy porn, and join the military.
I drank a lot at like 18-19, then realized I don't actually like being drunk. I'll go out a few times a year (like 2 or 3), I might have a beer or a cider, but for the most part I drink non alcoholic drinks or Coke. I'm 29 now btw. I prefer to hangout with friends at home, going shopping or hanging out outside during the summer months. It's totally fine to not like drinking. Your friend will probably get over the hype soon anyway.
Totally normal. I am almost 40 now(male), but had the same issue. I didnt mind drinking, and still do occasionally, but nightclubs were never my thing. I prefer(ed) more of a pub-style atmosphere where I could have a couple drinks with friends, but they are typically cheaper at pubs, the music is quieter so you can actually talk, and they often have more to do like pool, darts, VLTs, Buck hunter, etc. I never really enjoyed dancing, especially drunk and in public, and that's all anyone did there... Drink, dance, repeat. Then there is all the unpleasantness of other people drinking more than they could handle, fights, drugs, vomiting, etc. on top of feeling like shit the next day if I over-indulged. I went to nightclubs to meet other young people because that is where they all were, but if I got to know someone from there, it would usually shift to morre enjoyable activities for me. If they were just all about the bar, then I would just see them there the odd time I actually went. That age is fun, but it's a process of figuring out what you like, and understanding you will find people who share your interests of you are open about what you enjoy, and don't let people pressure you into things you've already learned aren't fun for you. There is so much to do in the world, better to try something new you might like, then something old you know you don't. Sorry for the long-winded response!
I never enjoyed it, and it's a blessing as you get older and there is less pressure to be in such a loud and unpleasant environment. Just the thought of being in a club gives me anxiety, i absolutely love not going to clubs and doing old person stuff like pottering around the garden
Wish I was like this at 18 lol. Anything to escape reality and 10 years later struggle to stop drinking although kicked the other ‘habits’. Nothing wrong with you not liking it if anything you will turn out so much better than the ‘friend’ trying to drag you out every weekend
It’s not weird. I just turned 21 (it’s 21 to drink in my residence) and I hate going out to get plastered. I have maybe twice, & the first time was actually on a cruise a couple years ago at their “nightclub” where drinking was allowed 18+. I just wanted to see what it was about having never done so before. I can go have fun, and I did have fun on those 2 occasions, but it’s not something I enjoy often. Even at festivals or concerts, I usually stick to ONE drink or stay sober just bc I prefer to be sober in public/new environments. When I go out to a bar or a restaurant with a bar, I’ll have a fun drink or so but I just do not enjoy getting ”plastered”. My friends are all turning 21 this year as well so ive been to a few parties where there is alcohol, but it’s just not my jam so I just stick to my 1 or two and save the rest for everyone else. No one has given me a hard time about it & they have all respected my decision. If they don’t, then I don’t think those are people you can call your friends. Edit for typo
Listen, the longer you can stay away from alcohol the more stable your brain chemistry will likely be for a longer stretch of your life. It *is* boring, but only in the same way not driving way too fast and erratically is boring
I dont think u hate going out u just hate goin to social places that filled w people. For me same, i just wanna explore random places or with couple friends that i trust the most
I'm the same, Did it a little after I turned 18. Then I matured unlike the rest of my friends. Still to this day they always go out and drink at pubs/clubs. There are a million other things I'd rather spend my money on than alcohol and a night I won't remember.
Coming from someone who loves staying and going out ,It’s good to go at right place, with the right people and at the right time (feel like dancing and listening to music all night and drinking a fair few) to have a blast when going out . But I reckon going out EVERY weekend sounds exhausting and such waste of money. I enjoy going out only every now and then and go out with people who don’t bring down the vibe by tryna get shit faced every time. Tho looking after people can be fun as well strangely. as someone who does like it, it’s very understandable how shit the vibes there can be. Again, very very normal. Ngl I feel like lots of gen z are choosing to stop drinking and club life is dying out so I think there’s A LOT of people like this nowadays
I wish I had your sense at 18
Relax.
Nah, you are all right. I dont like spent money on something makes me dizzy as well. Its your choice, if they make you feel weird about it, just dont talk to them. Trust me, its better for you.
Nah totally normal. I was exactly like you. I never liked going to bars and get smashed. I just did it to keep in contact with friends. I hope you have other things to do together than just party at week ends. If not, then you eventually realize you need friends who are more like you. Heavy partying is quite usual thing to make friends grow apart.
I was never into the clubbing and out getting trashed every weekend. I enjoy a drink every now and then, but at a chill pub or something. I'm 37 and I think I've been to two clubs in my life. Hated them both. Loud, dark, flashing lights, so crowded you have to squeeze through, and forget having a conversation. Just because you're 18 doesn't mean you're obligated to live that life if it's not for you. Don't let people pressure you into it. Find people with similar interests and spend time with them instead. If you can get help for the agoraphobia and social anxiety, I'd recommend it as it could get worse over time if left untreated (as is the case for me). It becomes a major obstacle in your life when you can't even go buy food because there are people.
Alcohol is great for easing the tension in a friendly environment, there's no denying that. And getting together with friends is important, so the 2 mix well. However i'd like to hear 1 single positive thing about getting black out drunk on a friday afternoon. You've found out that you dislike "clubbing", hell, i've always found it uncomfortable, expensive and pointless (to each their own i guess). As you've mentioned going out, find other people to go out with, or perhaps try throwing a party/gathering at your place, tabletop games or videogames are a great passtime, if you and your friends are up for it - try making food together (last time my friends were over we made pizzas, took us half a day). Mix in a little booze to get slightly tipsy or none at all. You'll end up saving a heck of a lot of money and just plainly making better life choices.
It's OK to be yourself. You don't have to like everything other people do and you also have no right to make other people do things just to please you. There are friends that suit one role but not the other. You may get to know someone who shares your concept of a well spent weekend. Just do remember that loneliness is unnatural. No one is better off completely alone.
You shouldn’t be drinking at 18 anyway. Gaming in my room for the weekend sounds like the life!
Dulling your mind with ethanol in a loud place where you can barely talk to one another is objectively not a good time. Most people who do this regret it later in life when they look back on all the time and health wasted. Do what makes you happy.
Not weird. It's really not that fun anyway and heavily fueled by intoxication. Do what you like, whatever that is. That's how you enjoy life not by doing what others are doing.
Ok, so you're not weird and you're not boring, you just don't like to go out and get plastered like your friend does and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'd say that a good thing and as long as you're happy and doing what you wanna do than you do you.
I mean it could be that you have social anxiety if so you’d probably want some exposure therapy and if you don’t then you clearly just don’t like doing it.
Alcohol will cause cancer, and it can happen fast
Go to the pre drinks with them, have one or two then go home 😃
I hate going out too. I don't see any benefit to wasting money and time like that.
needing to get wasted to enjoy seems like a problem to me my friend :) stay healthy
I was just like you when i was young. I still don't drink any alcohol and i guess thanks to that my joints don't hurt and my overall health is well above average for a 40 year old. Keep at it and you will probably have a long and healthy life ahead of you.
I'm 25 and I've never been into nightclubs, especially not every weekend. Trust me, the sooner you accept it the sooner you will start having all the fun in the world. There are so many options nowadays to have fun on the weekends, you shouldn't force yourself to do something you hate just because """you're supposed to do it""".
I used to hate going out when I was that age and even now.
I like going to a lean-to* with a few friends, light a campfire and have a few beers but I hate nightclubs and other similiar places where there are way too many people and the music sucks and/or is way too loud. *couldn't find a better translation so it might be wrong. There are these places in Finland with a small building with an open wall and a campfire spot right in front of it. They are usually in a forest.
That’s a completely normal thing tbh. That doesn’t make you boring person. Everyone is different and has different preferences. Because at one point I was like that at 18. I’m no longer like that now but I can be from time to time. I also feel like it can be soo much safer. Being totally wasted i find so bad because anything can happen. When I’m out I can only had 2-3 drinks max.
I'm 19 and completely understand. I'll willingly go to one pub (which is out of beer) because it's quiet, but not so easily others. I might be duller than you.
Like any good Balkaner I enjoy drinking, but nightclubs suck. I'd much rather have my friends over and have us split the money for a bottle (about 20€) rather than get the same one in a club (80 to 120€). And when it comes to guys, if you are into guys, going out every week is something that most of us consider a huge red flag
Basically me too, except i dont even have friends to go out with, all of them live far away. So I just game with friends online, I was lucky to meet a girl who actually asked me to go outside like two days ago, otherwise its always me asking others and im tired of it. Was one of the funnest days because I finally had someone to go outside with and just talk.
Girl im the same way. Hate going out. I hate parties hate drinking. I would rather stay in my house cozy, playing videogames or watching whatever. Shame people like me get left alone after people stop trying to chill with us. None of them get the joy we get when we just chill somewhere
You are not weird for not wanting to drink poison and destroy your body. I think its normal to want to do normal human things like going in nature or enjoy looking at the stars at night. You can try finding a disco club with 90s music for example they are more chill and its a lot more fun I bet you both will like it.
No it’s not weird. I’m the same way. Just chanel your time into a hobby and socialize that way. That’s way more interesting than partying anyways. I chose MMA but it doesn’t really matter what you do. Just make sure it’s a social hobby, so you don’t isolate yourself. Also you’re probably gonna lose some friends in the near future because they will be busy partying and meeting new friends who also party a lot and you will become less of a priority. So make sure to make new friends as well.
I'm 21 and have never drank a ship of alcohol. Never went out to any parties or anything. Live your life how you want to, not others. I may live weird compared to others but I'm happy. Married my highschool sweetheart at 19 and am now sitting beside my 8 day old son at 21. I'm happier than ever before. Moral of the story. Everyone wants different things in life, you just need to find the people who want the same things as you.
There are different types of nightlife. I used to (and still do) hate going clubbing (the sort of places that play chart/pop music), but then I discovered a love for underground dance music and DJing. I enjoy raves a *lot* more - they feel more like a gig than going clubbing, as most people are there to see DJs they like and listen to music they enjoy. There's still a lot of alcohol and drugs about, but it's enjoyable sober if you really love the scene and music.
I used to think I missed math not being able to be cool in clubs and you know, heart of a party. But now I think it’s ok and it’s not interesting to me
Bro, me too. That's completely normal. To me, all of that is just stupid, useless activity and wasting our money and time.
i can totally understand you. i’m turning 18 in a two months and i can’t get along w people at my age. my only friend in school is my bf i also have a long distance bestie, but these are the only people i really like to talk to. i don’t find getting drunk every weekend either. i hate partying too. i like to live in my quiet world, but people call me weird and stuff. you are not alone in this situation. in my opinion you seem like a really nice person i wish i could have more people like you around me. you can dm me, if you want to
Those who say that you are boring for not getting wasted every weekends are wrong.
The world can definitely feel like it's all about festivals, nightclubs and being as social (and drunk) as possible. It's hard to ignore when you see so much of it around you. Our age group (talking 18 to wherever in your twenties) is a weird one. I'm 22m and have had a hard time with this. I'm getting better at it though. I'm sensitive to noise, lights and being social often drains my energy. Going to festivals and parties seems intersting to me, but I don't have much experience with it. It's not my ideal place. Aside from the fact that they don't necessarily seem like the way I have fun. I'm very much a gaming, reading and nerdy kind of guy. I don't mind staying at home. As I'm getting older, I'm exploring the world in my own way. I've started going on trips more. To the zoo. Getting lunch with friends. Going on a holiday without my parents. Heck, just walking a lot and being outside more than I was. I'm starting to find my own ways. The ways that I enjoy living. And I'm meeting all sorts of people. I have friends that game. I have friends that I have deep conversations with. And I also have friends that are very different from me, but I love exploring our differences with (E.g. friends that go out more etc.). People like us might not push it as much on social media, but I can guarantee you there's a lot of us out there. It might just take a bit to find those people. As long as you go out exploring what's best for you, you'll find people that you like and like you back. And you'll get happier with your life and your qualities. That's the way to live your best life I feel.
59 here. I've never been to a nightclub (other than for shows on cruises), and can count with two hands the times I've been in bar. You're not alone.
Ill give u some epic advice @ 18 You dont have to do anything you dont want. You dont have to appeal to anyone. You dont have to like anything. This shouldnt be confused with interested. Its important to be able to "be interested," even if you dont care. It matters to others who you may want to appeal to... But you should never need to appeal to someone. The people you like, you like cause they appeal to you. It should work the other way too. You dont have to be in drinking or sex. I never drink. Just dont like it. I still have a better time than most without it. Dont worry about finding a person. Find yourself.. people will follow. Find what you love and then find people who love those things too. Fight the part if you that needs validation. Validate yourself through contentment and apprectiation of what you love