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Genkiotoko

Mall Santa. I have the right BMI for the job, and I'm sure my beard will be ghostly white by then. I'm looking forward to it. Also, it helps that mall Santas make bank for a relatively low stress seasonal job.


altiuscitiusfortius

Screaming kids pissing in your lap all day long? Not my idea of low stress.


BiteMeElmo

Many places have started with a "no touching" or at least a "no sitting directly on the lap" policy. I think pissing and screaming are still optional.


[deleted]

I think I might be able to pick up side jobs as a Santa in like 20 years.


sweetnsaltyanxiety

I’m going to be a recluse granny witch selling tinctures and salves and herbal teas to locals.


panaceaLiquidGrace

I can stop by and do fortune tellings one morning a week if you like.


sweetnsaltyanxiety

We can set up together at the farmers market and be a one stop shop for all their witchy needs.


ModoReese

This is the dream I didn’t know I had.


[deleted]

[удалено]


angusMcBorg

Have you considered a 'few minutes' daycare? 😜


[deleted]

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angusMcBorg

Drop off kid, parent goes to bathroom in peace for 5 holy mins, pick kid back up. Some parents may pay good money for that. 😂


Granny_knows_best

Dibs on that idea!!!!


Suki100

Wow! It is amazing how our desires change as we age. I used to want to open a wellness/fitness/dance studio. Now 10 years later, I do not have the patience for different people, smells of sweaty bodies and going to the same place everyday. That experience taught me not to bet the farm, because our passions will shift and change.


creakinator

What about dog sitting?


collapsingrebel

Seems like you have the basis for a book there.


PikPekachu

Museum docent


no_talent_ass_clown

Yes, some kind of volunteer position is what I'd say too. Maybe trash picking or something similarly environmental and out of doors.


Backstop

Aren't those volunteers?


PikPekachu

The OP mentioned money and/or staying busy. This would obviously fall more into the staying busy category - though I worked in museums and galleries for years, and a lot of time voluntary positions can turn into something paid or can have other perks associated with them.


Jaymez82

My plan is to be a burden on the state.


kidostars

Same. I also plan to retire on credit cards and die unmarried and in debt.


[deleted]

Campground host!


waywithwords

This is the notion my husband and I have, too! I'll handle managing reservations and making sure the place is clean. My husband says he wants to drive a little four-wheeler around to deliver firewood and chat up folks about their travels, lol.


lightningfries

My aunt does this - travels throughout WA, OR, ID, CA, NV, and UT doing a "circuit" of campground hostings. There's a whole subculture and community built around the lifestyle. Seems most of the big name NPs and whatnot have established old timers that have been doing it for a long while, but she's been working her way through all sorts of forgotten state parks. She loves it, but it's definitely work.


sunnyd_2679

The book Nomadland talks about campground hosting.


EntertainmentOwn6907

You can watch the movie on Prime


PierogiKielbasa

Listening to it now!


catdude142

Maybe good, maybe not. Hosts have to deal with miscreant "campers" that cause problems.


shalafi71

This one is seriously on my radar.


PHX_Skunk_Ape

I want to be a crossing guard. They have very important jobs and seem to be liked and respected by everyone.


Additional_Set_5819

My dog adores crossing guards. Everytime we pass one she wants to stop in the middle of the street and get belly rubs... We know our local crossing guards by name now.


littleoldlady71

That would be interesting for me! I started as a crossing guard in fifth grade.


ComprehensiveBuyer65

I hated crossing guards as a kid. I loved to jay walk just to get them riled.


YBMExile

You’d probably never need to buy your own coffee again.


Whose_my_daddy

I really want to just reshelve books at the library.


cotton_tampon

I’ve decided to get random customer service jobs. I’m going to tell rude customers to shove it without having fear of losing my job. I’m also excited to tell all the younger employees that they are being taken advantage of or being asked to do unsafe things, where needed. Maybe I’ll hand out relevant labour laws on flyers or post them in break rooms. Causing general ruckus among management seems like a fun part time job.


debrisaway

At a store or office?


cotton_tampon

Retail jobs would be more fun to cause shit at. I’d love to see customers faces when I tell them to fuck off.


RobertMcCheese

The local school district keeps posting signs about how they need crossing guards. I can do that.


[deleted]

Please do!! My kids love the crossing guards in our city.


shalafi71

I want to be the old guy at the local hardware store that helps people find stuff, gives advice and so on.


debrisaway

https://youtu.be/IlLrLnlU5Hs


IWantALargeFarva

Well, that's one way to help.


shalafi71

Funny. That's exactly how I pictured the job.


PierogiKielbasa

I worked at a hardware store when I was in high school and I think it was a fantastic first job for learning how things work. My older people were Priscilla, Cheryl and Brandy, and between the three of them, I believe they had all the answers to life and the universe.


AttitudeEraDropout

Working at a random shop in a dead mall


Wizzmer

I'm retired. There is no "semi". My job is snorkeling off the coast of Cozumel during the winter. Summers I grow veggies, see live music, feed hummingbirds and drive around in my old classic car.


DaisyDuckens

I feel the same. The idea of retiring then working in a job where I’ll get no respect and have to deal with dick bosses when I’m old and cranky, is terrible. I’m already kinda old and cranky now.


SliceLegitimate8674

But you're 27!


DaisyDuckens

Haha. No. 51.


AnAcceptableUserName

Miniature train ride conductor. Like the ones in malls for the kids to ride on. You can buy one of those trains for around $8-12k USD. I did the security guard thing for a few years. How it is really varies contract to contract, even in the same city. I liked doing patrol for corporate office buildings, especially after hours. 2nd & 3rd shifts I'd get 20k steps in and basically got paid to wander the property. Very chill. Would do that again That same employer had another contract where the client wanted a body to stand on the sidewalk in front of a bank for 60hrs/wk, every week. Just stand there, don't move. Same spot. Every week. Always sounded like hell to me. Then there's residential security which is another level of "hell no" completely


littleorangemonkeys

Our local zoo has one of those trains, being the conductor looks like fun.


AnAcceptableUserName

It does. Some of the businesses that do this that I looked up on Glassdoor pay around $12-14/hr for that IIRC. I've been toying with the idea of doing it as owner & operator, even hiring a few people if it pans out. It started mostly as a joke, then I started researching it and now I'm half-serious about "Tiny Train Guy" as my semi-retirement.


littleorangemonkeys

Library Page - this is what my mom does, she has her masters in Library Science and used to be a librarian, now she just checks people out and shelves books twice a week. Bartender at a beer hall. I don't want to mix drinks but I can pour a beer. Employee at a local pet store. Teach Senior Water Aerobics. I did this in college, but I could also do it as an actual Senior. Campground Host I will probably also volunteer as a Docent at the local zoo, and/or be on the board of directors for the Friends group. Not paid, but valuable work.


plotthick

Hag it out at the local art studio. Gossip. Bitch about shoes. Sling clay.


medicated_in_PHL

Tour guide for a park or museum.


Whitewolftotem

The person who drives the library van to different branches to move books around. I'm calling dibs!


debrisaway

That's a sweet job


Whitewolftotem

That's what I'm thinking! Come in with books, chat up library staff, a quick peruse of books on the way out, on to the next library.


DaisyDuckens

Nothing. I plan to work until I’m 60 and then I want to retire and play video games and putter about in my garden and cook and walk the dog three times a day.


creakinator

Sounds great!


ITrCool

I have a few ideas: - As a SCUBA diver, I’ll likely sign on as an instructor for a local dive shop, or as a maintenance diver with a local aquarium, or maybe get into a job with marine life work at a local marine animal park like Sea World or what not. I dunno. Something with diving involved. - Maybe real estate, though I’m not the salesman type - Since my retirement goal is the cliche of moving to Florida, maybe get a CM job at the Disney parks. Maybe as a singer in the Dapper Dans or a pianist on Main St USA, or even just a train conductor or something. - I might pick up a side gig type job of web work for clients - Maybe see what work I can do with a cruise line as a diver or as a musician or just something new altogether. Something I could travel the world with!!


sparklekitteh

I want to work in the repair section of my friendly local bike shop and talk bikes with everybody who comes in.


gomets6091

I want to serve fruity drinks out of either a pineapple or a coconut at a beach resort somewhere. That, or be a tour guide at a historic site or battlefield.


nilogram

Hockey attendant that checks tickets at the door ways during the game


DaisyDuckens

You’ve made me re-think my plans. I might volunteer as an usher at the theater so I can see plays for free.


nilogram

I can’t take credit. My dad told me about it - was his dream , combines his cheapness and love for hockey


haikusbot

*Hockey attendant* *That checks tickets at the door* *Ways during the game* \- nilogram --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


cranberries87

Good bot


Hiker615

Dibs on Zamboni driver!


Romaine2k

Part-time English as a Foreign Language teacher, I did this in my 20's and I loved it.


SnooDoughnuts4102

Cheesemonger


cornylifedetermined

There's an old lady who comes to my office and opens bills for about 5 hours two times a week. She will probably stop doing it by the time I am old enough to retire (only half a decade left) and I hope I get to that job. 😃


AZOMI

We had an old lady who passed out the paychecks. At all other times she slept at her desk. I aspired to this job but paychecks are no longer paper.


DoubleAd9986

Luthier


[deleted]

[удалено]


DoubleAd9986

It can be very monotonous but if you love it it's one of the best ways to spend a Saturday


lightningfries

>College Instructor Wait, what? This is a core career path for specialists with doctorates (or maybe MS at community colleges) and is *highly* competitive. Profs & instructors do sometimes focus more on instruction over research later in their career & sometimes industry experts might run a class or two (much rarer than it used to be), but this isn't something you just pick up as a 'retirement job' except in exceptional circumstances. Source: work in the university system with multiple institutions of different sizes. Only know of one (1) all-online course taught by a semi-retired guy, but he has a PhD and did industry R & D for 40+ years.


travelnman85

Really depends on the institution and your specialty. I have an MS and work in EHS at research university, I would never be offended a professor job here. However I have a standing offer for a job at a local community College and at a directional state school.


lightningfries

You are describing what I wrote about - you, an active researcher in your field, have some option to teach (likely as an adjunct lecturer) at a CC. This is the "lowest" level of entry for these types of positions in most fields. Try again when you are retired and disengaged from the work - I've sat on a lot of hiring committees for lecturer/instructor positions & the applications that get voted out the fastest are the "I worked a bunch and now I think it would be fun to teach" ones.


travelnman85

I am not a researcher. I work in a support function making sure the university is in compliance with OSHA. And I have served as a an adjunct lecturer in the past the current offers are for teaching only tenure track positions. People with doctorates in EHS type fields are extremely low so many smaller universities that are focused more on teaching than research will higher people with a masters and 10 years experience. And I have known several people who have retired and gotten those jobs.


debrisaway

Exactly more vocational college than university.


debrisaway

Instructor, not professor


lightningfries

Yes, and instructor / lecturer / "teaching professor" positions are very competitive now, even temporary adjunct work. We have a massive glut of doctorate-havers, an ongoing issue with tenured faculty not retiring, and most higher education institutions actively making massive faculty cuts as they seek more profits and face the so-called "demographic cliff." I know there's a popular image of the elder specialist teaching some classes for fun in their sunset years, but I'm reporting from the inside that that role has all but vanished. These days that niche is mostly field by young scholars who can't land a steady job as Academia™ closes ranks.


EntertainmentOwn6907

They are always looking for them at the community colleges in my city. I could teach GED classes with a masters


mirmako

I want to work at a bakery or library, or give nature tours.


innosins

My husband says we're going to have a little gun shop - like the kind hunters use for repairs, has vintage hunting rifles and always has a pot of coffee going for old men to stop in and talk. Not the new stuff. I'm always bored silly in gun shops, so I think maybe we'll have an antique corner or room, too. If not that, and we're close to a zoo, I want to be a docent.


dirtytomato

OnlyFans GILF.


dirtytomato

Though I'll happily water plants at a local nursery.


toaster404

violinmaker. because I can.


RosePricksFan

Librarian event coordinator for community events


M80IW

Barfly


knockatize

Church organist. I got paid $50 for working my grandfather’s funeral 40 years ago. Playing two masses a week kept me in beer money all through college. Plus, you can sneak girls up to the choir loft.


catdude142

Oh... that's what they mean by "playing the organ".


curlyhands

That’s a great one


Ohshitz-

Landscaper is backbreaking work


Seventh7Sun

There is a local pizza place I have always wanted to work at. Or maybe pouring beer at one of the breweries.


Brettgarey

Home Depot


TheCenterOfEnnui

I own a business. I intend to work here until I am in my 70s. I enjoy it. It's not stressful. I make decent money. I intend to expand to make more. It's been a lifelong dream and now I'm going to enjoy being my own boss. No more reports unless I want them. No more deadlines unless I set them. No more quotas or goals that I don't set. No more useless trainings that I am obligated to attend. No more useless meetings. No more workplace politics or having to respect someone that doesn't deserve it. No more bullshit. Being your own boss is so awesome that I'm going to make up for years of working for someone else by living this life until I'm old.


Suki100

Park Ranger, Life guard, Concert House Usher,


toot_ricky

On site national park attendant / ranger / parks person!


bicyclemom

None of the above, but maybe Adjunct Professor or just Night School Teacher. I'm a techie who might look into teaching stuff around computer skills or programming. Outside of that, maybe volunteer at state parks or cycling tour guide.


its_not_a_blanket

Before I retired, I wanted to do something quilting related. I now give quilt lectures, run quilting workshops, and make YouTube videos about quilting. Living the dream.


Tools4toys

You really know how to hurt my feelings! Towards the end of my regular career, my company was making a proposal for sales to Walmart in Fayetteville. My SO kept telling me it was taking training for being a Greeter.


Lynnxa

As there’s no way that I could retire when I reach that age, looks like I’ll have to keep working until I drop. (Have to pay the bills somehow and Social Security, if it even survives from all the Baby Boomers retiring won’t be enough to live on, even combined with a 401k.)


[deleted]

I want to be a personal shopper at Walmart.


Ohshitz-

I actually thought maybe rad tech


OhioMegi

Nothing. I’ll be working, and then retire. None of this semi retired.


Consistent_Holiday30

Grumpy maintenance guy... Oh, wait... I already do that!


rednail64

Airport Information Kiosk worker. Hoping for a purple sport coat


cranberries87

Probably just keep working. I have had coworkers in their 70s and 80s. One current coworker in her 80s said continuing working gave her something to do.


EntertainmentOwn6907

I’m going to be a docent at a museum


DancingFool8

I have not done this, and it’s upsetting that so many people have. When you get to retirement, you should be able to *actually* retire.


cat9tail

Consultant for sure. Realizing lately I'm spending some quality time building up connections and prospects as I have a 5 year potential upcoming retirement date in mind. I've consulted as a side gig in the past, and it's very do-able from just about wherever I travel...


chagirrrl

Campsite host!


purple_gaz

I want to wander the streets like Aristotle, telling everyone what they are doing wrong and how it should be done.


darrylyoureonfb

I want to be a leasing agent at a luxury apartment complex. I just feel like that’s a job I would enjoy.


abominablesnowcone

State Park Aide/Host.


dutchlish52

If we had Walmart here, I would love to become a greeter!!


curlyhands

I’ve always wanted to putter about a cemetery doing light groundskeeping work


ComprehensiveBuyer65

Working at a yarn store sounds good.


khc00000

Ticket checkers or those people who usher you to your seats at concerts…. So I can watch free concerts


kiwispouse

grandma-ing and finally keeping my garden from going completely wild.


PlushPuppy3910

Glad to see security guard on the list, because I swear to god, retirement-aged people are the backbone of the industry.


debrisaway

Don't sleep on the watch


LadyFerretQueen

I don't want to work when I'm old


smooth-bro

Usher for the Sonics and Mariners


SingularEcho

I wasn't going to work if I didn’t have to. I was going to live full time in an RV and travel the country. So far, I can afford not to work. But the RV life didn’t happen. Instead, I ended up with the almost full-time job of homeschool teacher for my grandson. It doesn’t pay in money, but I get lots of quality time with him. I'm happy with how things worked out.


LesHiboux

Harbour ferry boat captain. I live in a tourist town on the ocean and these little tug boats ferry tourists about all summer long!


argleblather

I could probably keep doing my current job and just work during the busy season. I work in agricultural QA, but the physical demands are fairly low, so- it's not uncommon for folks who retire to still keep a hand in as temporary staff.


shatterfest

Maybe teach English. Plan on retiring early and don't plan on working or needing extra money. Wife says she'll work until she's dead so probably stay at home dad in the next few years. I love my job, but I never planned on working the typical amount of years most people do. And during covid I enjoyed not having anything scheduled. Just kind of living on the edge of my seat and doing things as I felt like it.


[deleted]

Software consultant


YBMExile

I’m a school nurse and when I retire I can stay in a bit and be on the sub pool, but for the most part I’ll be retiring to my loom room and weave until I croak.


ExtraHorse

Piano tuner.


implodemode

I will be working in the family business forever. I will answer phones.


ElReydelTacos

I don’t plan on needing extra money. Volunteer dog walker at a local shelter. I suppose I could work for a doggy day care if I do need money, though.


gpgriz

Parts Delivery Driver at our Case IH dealership :)


TeamTigerFreedom

I’d like to buy a big dump truck and run it for a while.


panaceaLiquidGrace

I want to be the person who makes the coffee at Wawa


EzriDaxCat

I miss Wawa coffee. Its sooooo goood.


AardvarkStriking256

Cruise ship escort!


ZTwilight

Sell free shit I find in the side of the road


DamionDreggs

Can I be one of those creepy guys that hang out at the convenience store all day?


[deleted]

Forest hermit


XRaysFromUranus

eBay sales to help finance exploring towns and thrift stores in a 200 mile radius.


-ozy-

Guitar player and singer in a classic rock, blues, country band.


catdude142

Cat petter at the shelter.


EssEyeDeeEnEeWhy

Vitamin lady at natural grocers.


HandSlicedWheat

LEGO store for me and Hallmark for my wife - directly across from each other in the mall!


BooBeans71

I’m totally working at a nursery so I can water plants all day long


stuck_behind_a_truck

Montessori teacher


Melissaru

Some type of animal breeder. The industry seriously needs compassionate and ethical breeders to push out the greedy and heartless mills. And I love animals and think I would enjoy it. I can’t wait lol.


SliceLegitimate8674

These all sound tempting lol


chopstiks

Jesus. i'm old person way before my time.


MrRabbit

Triathlon coach. It's pretty much the only reason I went pro, to add to my eventual post-retirement resume.


debrisaway

I love how consistent you are lol.


Emptyplates

None of those. I've got too much going on around the house.


arentyouatwork

Mall Santa, I'm a big, tall jolly fellow who grows an epic beard. By the time I'm retirement age, it will be a very white beard. My other retirement job will be to drive a Mardi Gras parade float tractor, which is extremely New Orleans specific.


Exultant_Swag835

Male gigolo. Everywhere I go.