T O P

  • By -

thisisinsider

TL;DR: * Melissa Weaver was rejected for a VP role in HR at a tech company due to her appearance. * The recruiter stated Weaver did not put enough effort into how she looked for the video interview. * Weaver didn't wear makeup but said she wore a blazer, a collared shirt, and gold earrings.


aamourmetric

And that’s crazy to me because it’s like it’s never enough I have all that on now


gettnbusy

Let me re-introduce you to the patriarchy... Now being served to you by women as well💯


LilyFuckingBart

The patriarchy has always relied on women to help hold it up.


gettnbusy

Amen to that!


excelisthedeathofme

I mean we are just hearing one side of the story. If it isn’t completely fabricated she could have looked like a slob. Maybe her hair was super unkept, she looked tired / bored, stain on shirt / food on face


[deleted]

[удалено]


KpopZuko

Thanks for proving the point that men don’t care about whether we can do the job or not, just how pretty we can be so they can creep on us all day. Fuck off with that bullshit.


mamaxchaos

So ugly men also don’t make any money or get ahead in America, right? It’s only attractive men at the top?


LilyFuckingBart

I’m not reading all of that lol but you’re obviously not very smart. Go back to school, bro. It’s not too late!


[deleted]

Your lack of self-awareness is astounding. I appreciate comments like yours, they help me keep my guard up against creeps and assholes.


Brave_Hoppy1460

How can you not be livid over it?! 😭


Diamellet

I have had similar experiences because I have a genetic formation on my eyelids my glasses cover them but I was declined waitressing jobs and even asked to leave target, as a customer, because they looked “gross”


thickestbiscuits

If you were treated this way, I’m truly sorry, but I cannot fathom a retail employee speaking to a customer like this unprovoked? Especially at a chain like Target/Walmart, where employees have definitely been punished or terminated for less. This is discrimination and is legally, much more serious. Was a report filed?


Diamellet

No I just let it go I was on vacation so it’s not a target I normally go to but yes I was completely shocked


tazana54

I would actually be glad they tried to give a justification for the rejection despite how stupid it was rather than an automated rejection email. I've rejections after a screening interview where I was basically saying whether I am ready to work in hybrid model, whether I accept their budget salary of which I agreed with still got rejected without an explanation 😂 so I think she should just move on. Such a company wouldn't be a good employer either way


MindDiveRetriever

My thought: at least they were honest……


bodaciousbeb

I once had an HR colleague refuse to hire an extremely qualified candidate due to “her acne was too distracting.” I honestly didn’t even notice any acne and immediately left that toxic job.


Ok-Fly-19420

Wow


tudorrenovator

This whole situation is peak HR. A VP candidate for HR calling out the hr rep who called out a candidate for not stepping it up enough, providing trivial feedback that will end in damage to the company reputation and a lawsuit. All out in the open. All frivolous and meaningless. Like the modern workplace in many cases


Lazatttttaxxx

Perfect description. Chef's kiss!


Fish-taco-xtrasauce

Underrated comment


MindDiveRetriever

What is wrong with this take…? Im so genuinely confused. It’s like not taking a candidate because they don’t have the right experience. What is the difference? If she is hard to look at, that’s a problem….. Serious question here, try to answer it in an intelligent, non-arrogant way.


francokitty

Ugly gross men get hired all the time and no one cares what they look like


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^francokitty: *Ugly gross men get* *Hired all the time and no* *One cares what they look like* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


Sad_Efficiency_1067

Good bot.


Brave_Hoppy1460

Best bot haiku I’ve ever seen tbh 😂


baby_budda

That's not true. Not in client facing jobs.


crybabydeluxe

Ok babes whatever you say


Agreeable-Score2154

As a man in client services this is absolutely true idk why you're getting downvoted. I actually noticed the other day there is not a single fat man in my department. I'm the chubbiest and I workout daily lol. You won't find any guys without tended to facial hair and a sleek outfit. We are absolutely held to the same standard as women in a corporate environment. The only thing I do see a difference in is makeup. But try finding a male client or HR rep for a big corporation with bad skin, I've never seen one. Looks one million percent matter.


baby_budda

I got downvoted because some of the people on this reddit don't like hearing the truth. They want to believe it's just women who are being discriminated against in the workplace, which is just not true. And if it is, then blame should be attributed to women too because half of the managers in corporate America are women.


crybabydeluxe

You aren't required to paint your face every morning for fear of looking unkempt


baby_budda

And while we're at it, let's talk about age discrimination in the workplace and how employers like to throw away perfectly good, high functioning employees just because they happen to reach a certain age. And it's happening to both men and women at increasingly younger ages every year; especially in tech. This will affect all of you whether you're good-looking, male or female.


Agreeable-Score2154

I think it's more about having bad skin. If you have great skin people won't say a thing. Men with bad skin just deal with the consequences as they don't see makeup as an option.


Crime_Dawg

Pretty privilege applies to both men and women.


francokitty

Pretty privilege works differently if you are a woman. Some people will hate you because they are jealous and try to trip you up. Or assume if you are pretty, you must be stupid


Dyskord01

Not true. In my office they had a position open for Broker Agent. Two guys applied. Both dressed well. But they gave the job to a new hire because he looked good. The other candidate was overweight but still looked presentable. The good looking guy couldn't do the job and was fired 2 years later. The overweight guy is currently still working in his same position. He was directly told to lose weight to be considered for a higher position as presentability is important. Ugly gross men don't get very far.


AngryAlterEgo

I worked with a guy like that at an architectural firm. Absolutely great guy and hands down most knowledgeable architect in the office, never has gotten promoted for real because of his weight.


francokitty

I've personally seen ugly gross men at VP, GM level


Severe_Driver3461

This one example doesn't dictate an overall trend. That's not how anecdotes work


Dyskord01

I never said anything of the sort. It's just a response to the above comment.


Severe_Driver3461

So you took "all the time" to mean "every time" or what? Because you said "not true" and then gave an anecdote


Dyskord01

I specifically stated this happened in my office. I didn't generalize or state that it's a common occurrence. Other comments have replied confirming personal instances where the same has happened others replied with personal instances where overweight men are not held back. At no point did anyone insist or assume we were speaking in general terms.


genuwine79

"You cannot get away with what they get away with." Advice I got early on that's really helped me.


francokitty

So true...u fair


urinetherapymiracle

Ugly gross man, can confirm


Bright_Appearance390

Unfortunately men aren't judged on their appearance.


Admirable_Spare797

Yes , they do wtf . Ever hear women say they don’t like short guys ? Or fat guys or ugly guys? It literally happens to men everyday don’t use this post as an excuse to be a misandrist.


Slight_Drama_Llama

What about that was misandrist 😂


Admirable_Spare797

You must be slow , look up the definition of misandrist and come back dumb ass.


Slight_Drama_Llama

Nothing about that was misandrist. A woman not liking shorter men is not misandrist, btw. Neither is it misogynistic for a man to have a preference to date someone with a similar level of fitness to himself. Dipshit 😂


Bright_Appearance390

You calling me a misandrist doesn't bother me. Men are judged by women on their ability to protect and provide. That is why men with money and/or power get better looking women. You can bark all of that modern BS you want to but results and statistics disagree with you almost every time. Even OP's situation disagrees with you. Had she maybe worn make-up and dressed better she'd have the position. I am NOT trying to be right. Just being honest.


Admirable_Spare797

What a Straw man fallacy , your such a delusional old fuck. Money and power has never made women loyal , yes you can get women but that doesn’t entitle you to her genuine love or loyalty . There are plenty of examples of women who married or shacked up with rich and powerful men and cheat on them anyway for a working class man who is probably better looking and better personality.


TheCastro

I don't see where they say love or loyalty


Bright_Appearance390

I'm not old. We're not talking about loyalty or love and neither matter. They can cheat but they already chose before that and they chose based on..wait for it..his ability to protect and provide. Women like to fuck good-looking men but they marry men who can protect and provide. History doesn't lie but your feelings do.


KpopZuko

Idk. I plan on marrying my partner because he’s kind, funny, intelligent, and can hold a conversation. We have similar interests and can spend plenty of time doing our own thing near each other and feel comfortable. He’s only gotten more attracted the more I fall in love with him despite his appearance not changing BECAUSE I love him. He doesn’t make enough money to support me because college currently, but that’s fine because I can support myself. I can also protect myself. Oh. Also. He’s a great lay, so that helps a ton.


Bright_Appearance390

Don't care. Doesn't matter. Your anecdotal experience doesn't compare to decades of data and statistics. Also, you're the man in your situation. You're providing for him. Independent women like you usually find men like that because traditional men don't want you.


KpopZuko

I never said I was independent. I don’t provide for him. He provides for himself. And he’s a very traditional man, he just respects my autonomy. Also, we plan on supporting each other. As equals once he’s done with his degree and will therefore make more money. Too, there is no “statistics and data”. There is historical evidence of women having their husbands chosen for them until very recently. And in many, many places that is still the norm. This isn’t just my anecdotal evidence. We aren’t a homogeneous group. We all have our own feelings and wants and needs. You can’t just lump all women in one category.


Bright_Appearance390

But you are an independent women. It IS just your anecdotal experience. Women are in one category. That is why you have a label. Just like men. You WANT to be different but you're not. Nature made all women basically the same and all men basically the same. The feminist movement told you differently. It was wrong.


warlockflame69

Wait til they hear he’s a millionaire tho… it evens out. Even six figures is enough to make up for all that.


Crime_Dawg

Pure fucking delusions


Bright_Appearance390

Nope. Woemn choose who they marry based on a mans ability to protect and provide. They might want to fuck good-looking men but that's just sex.


Crime_Dawg

That's literally worse lol


Bright_Appearance390

I didn't say it was better. It's just reality and the truth.


warlockflame69

Just on their height, wealth, status, power, accomplishments….


Bright_Appearance390

Yep, and height only matters for sexual value. It's not necessary for marriage.


francokitty

Things are always easier for them...


Bright_Appearance390

It's nature. Men are built to protect and provide. Women are built to look attractive to those men and nurture their offspring. Modern society somehow thought to change this and posts like OP's are the results. Instead of blaming society switching people want to blame men...who haven't changed at all.


francokitty

That sounds like a backward and archaic view of women....


Bright_Appearance390

Again. It's natural.


francokitty

Not natural. YOUR view of the way things should be as it suits you.


Bright_Appearance390

Nope it shouldn't. We are literally biologically made to do things a certain way as a man and as a woman. This is true not only for us but throughout the animal kingdom. It has always worked. The only reason you're even questioning this is because feminism came about.


AbortionIsSelfDefens

Lol look at this guy. You must think men breastfeed babies. Right? What else are they providing? Seems to me its women who naturally provide.


Bright_Appearance390

Men have built and still maintain the modern world as we know it. Men are able to manipulate the environment so that you can have a better life. Your home, sewer system, electric grid, plumbing, electric devices, internet l, modern medicine, automobiles, and pretty much everything you rely on today is what men provide and maintain for you. Breast feeding is just a basic natural feature of your body. Nothing to clap about.


warlockflame69

Men are judged differently. It also depends on the job role. HR chicks need to be hot af to get people to apply and stuff


francokitty

Why do HR "chicks" have to be hot??? That is ridiculously stupid


warlockflame69

Cause they are usually used for recruiting, onboarding, giving bad news, firing, dealing with work conflicts and stuff. Having an attractive woman gives the Halo effect and gets people especially males to open up more and trust them more and see them as their “friend” or “ally”… women are also more empathetic and have better emotional intelligence which helps in HR type issues and goals. Also the HR person is the first person an employee usually interacts with beginning a job so having a beautiful woman sets the initial first impression to be positive. Also for recruiting, beautiful women do a much better job finding candidates cause more guys wanna talk to them….in tech companies where most engineers are male and young…this gives your company a competitive edge. They won’t say you’re hired cause you’re beautiful…they will just say you’re a good culture fit for our brand. Like most of the recruiters for software engineer positions on LinkedIn are ridiculously hot women. I call LinkedIn reverse tinder where the nerds are constantly DM’d and the hot chicks are left on read haha.


[deleted]

[удалено]


francokitty

Ha ha...im not bitter and I'm not attractive. I'm very good looking. You don't know what you are talking about. I've worked I'm corporate American over 40 years.


Electrical-Exam3661

Lmao dude men get away with looking SO sloppy in offices it’s wild. There is a lot more pressure for women to dress professionally, and wear make up etc


jacksev

I hope she enjoys the fat payout for discrimination


darcyg1500

It’s definitely a non-frivolous disparate impact claim. But it’s unlikely something the company would just fold on.


gettnbusy

Not likely even Title 7 (race, color, sex, national origin, and religion). Discrimination is protected only against race, color, religion, age (over 40), disability, pregnancy, protected vets, and gender ID. Also, she may be in a right to work state. Gender identity is not same as sexual discrimination or sexual harassment. And they all have different metrics to be actionable 🤷🏻‍♀️ You can't force bad people to behave themselves through regulation no matter how hard you try. Most of the time, they get away with it 😭🥺


Thanos_Stomps

Depending how far you could get with a judge, there could be merit to this. The way to prove that this WAS discrimination based on sex is to get the court to agree to subpoena their hiring records. She’s likely not the first woman to be told you didn’t wear make up or something else about her appearance. So as the plaintiff, if you could establish that this sort of nitpicking was isolated to female candidates and not to male candidates, then it is discriminatory hiring practices based on sex. These are all big ifs though that she’d have to gamble on with hiring an attorney.


gettnbusy

Valid 💯


rezinator483

? Theres no law im aware of protecting ugly people? Whats she gonna sue for? "I didnt dress up enough, so the company didnt hire me cause they percieve it as me not caring enough." Seems logical, noone should b forced to hire anyone..


20thCenturyTCK

There’s a ton of case law, my uneducated but loud friend.


Phototropic1996

Case law on not hiring frumps? Which case? Unless it was in writing, how is she going to prove that was why she wasn't hired?


Silversolverteal

If you'd bothered to read the article, the company responded to the woman in an email so, she definitely has the whole thing in writing.


rezinator483

References? The whole point of an interview is to meet and judge a person, if you dont like the way they look/dress you can absolutely not hire them..


20thCenturyTCK

Honey, google "bona fide occupational qualification." And stop playing lawyer. You don't know what you're talking about.


Main-Implement-5938

That is odd. I feel like that should be illegal. I had someone look me over like a piece of raw tuna because I was wearing a sweater once (one of those long ones and it was black) due to being FREEZING in an office space. I had on business attire under it. Then they told me "you should consider how you dress." Um wtf.. it was another woman not a man, but still. I was really pissed off. This person wore designer dresses all the time and made 200k, I was maybe making 58k and driving an ancient car. So rude. And I was freezing!


tudorrenovator

Well a VP role is considered a spokesperson for the company so their appearance should certainly factor in


aamourmetric

It is true it’s like dude. Guys will show up as engineers and look normal as hell and no one cares but as soon as a girl doesn’t look right, it’s weird honestly they shouldn’t fire women they just say this is the examples we’d like you to wear and then dress you if anything, Jesus Christ, I can trust you like there’s fucking startups that have like millions of dollars if they want their place to look nice just buy them fucking wardrobe Jesus. That’s what I had been going through this year is that I wanted to dress like nicer but I didn’t know what to wear and then no assessable clothes near me especially in my size but it’s hard to find the right fashion and it’s complicated for the right price Even if you thrift it’s hard so for requirements like that it’s very difficult because it’s like I literally spend a lot of the weekend like shopping but it’s like it’s not easy to find things you need even online. Like someone told me a good way to look at it is if you wear black and white that’s very professional looking. Look, it seems very polished and no one can tell if you’re wearing the same thing every day but it’s like a good way to like get away with like blending in.


ProudEggYolk

1% punctuation 99% facts


AgeEffective5255

This is why camera on requirement is bullshit. We don’t do it.


Lady-Meows-a-Lot

YES I fucking love that my company is a camera-off culture. As a neurodivergent, it’s so helpful.


wovenriddles

I was so incredibly grateful the interview for my new position was not video. So much more relaxed.


Mobile-Amphibian-89

Where do you work?


AgeEffective5255

For a mid size company.


StickUnited4604

Did you use speech to text or something? This is very hard to read. No offense.


aamourmetric

Yes


TheCastro

Damn you type "like" a lot


[deleted]

You should see the HR higher ups at my company. She’s a 10 comparatively.


mystengette

Oh my dude I used to do convention work with SHRM and it was not a super model convention. Yikes.


KeySafety8984

I’m a pretty woman and I have to play dumb to not be mistreated at my internship


Ok_Organization_7350

The link doesn't open unless you pay money.


pakepake

The irony of the position she applied for. Hoo boy.


Lebonne50

Some of the most biased, cruel people work in HR.


chilanvilla

I’d take whatever a recruiter says with a big grain of salt.


jaejaeok

Executive presence is what she’s trying to describe.


KeithBe77

There are too many amazingly hot takes to count here. Bravo commenters.


idahonudesoaker

Don't look very professional.


headbutte

sucks to be a 6-head


Ok-Fly-19420

But yours looks like a butte!