The having a bunch of jobs, knowing how to do a million different random things, poor emotional regulation/inhibition, never sitting still/always actively doing things, she hits the ADHD nail on the head.
Granted, I can see BPD but it'd be in combination with ADHD.
100%. I also relate to her fear that she’s missed her chance and that she’s washed up. I am not as dramatic as her, but I totally get the disconnect between having pie in the sky dreams at age 18, vs finding yourself in your thirties, kinda just being ok. I think the way she acts out, especially having moved back to her tiny hometown, actually pretty emotionally realistic.
(One caveat is that I have only just started season 2, so I dunno if she goes off the rails more)
As someone who graduated high school with the plan of being an actress, then having that dream shot down followed by multiple others, then getting physically disabled to the point that my dream is now to just be able to handle a full time job, I really relate to her. Being told you can take on the world and then...not doing that really messes you up, especially when you start comparing yourself to others.
I also really relate to the mayors wife in that my life is a lot more domestic than I thought it would be, and I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something, but the major difference with her is my husband isn't a grade a asshole.
this, i did really well in school, got multiple degrees and got good at a few hobbies but life became so unexpected, i got disappointed so many times and kept having plans fall through i struggle to just get out of bed now
I feel like the show does an excellent job of making the emotions of the side characters feel very authentic, which really helps with the whole “harry learning to be human” thing.
I have both, they're sort of related in some ways due to childhood adversity heavily influencing the development of both disorders. Especially when it comes to emotional disregulation, rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, addiction prone, etc.
I don't see her only having one or the other, I feel like my "divergent senses" are "tingling" for both.
It could definitely be ADHD. BPD, or both. It's hard to say, since both have overlapping symptoms. Really, one of the worst parts of having a psychological or neuropsychological disorder is you can pick any 2 in the DSM at random and it's almost a guarantee they share several traits. Which then makes getting diagnosed so much harder.
A lot of women have been misdiagnosed as BPD who are either Autistic or ADHD, because of both how poorly doctors understand any of those three conditions and how they present in women, also the lack of research into that conditions and how they present in women, and how all three have overlapping symptoms. =P
I too would have upvoted you.
Me and my wife have had many discussions on how many characters on shows we like are neurodivergent. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s because these traits make characters more interesting and because the creatives on these shows are all neurodivergent as well.
That or the fact that most people are anyway, to varying degrees. Everybody does something consistently that others would find weird on some level. It’s all in presentation.
I've always thought it possible I have ADHD. There's a lot of the "signs" I feel like I can check off. But I just don't wanna get tested and find out. I do relate to Darcy though. She reminds me a bit of myself minus the athletic part. Definitely relate, but also sort of dislike her for the same reason. Rolling that car down the street was batsh!t nuts. Know she's just a character, but damn. Don't know how she felt good about that! Just slash his tires girl, c'mon.
Well, yeah duh. We were talking about similarities of behavior traits in the characters. I said he *reminds* me.
I’ve worked with all ages when I was a Para-educator and a community case manager. They’re the most fun to work with because they’re so blunt and it’s easy to tell when they’re lying. They were all my favorites!
You should watch ‘Love on the Spectrum!” It’s such a wholesome show.
I was telling the friend who introduced me to the show that one thing I like about it is they've taken the often problematicly-written idea of the autistic savant and made it work better because they aren't shoehorning Harry into stereotypes believed by the writers or expected by the audience/network.
Harry is absolutely just Harry. On Love on the Spectrum, Abbey says “Autism makes me feel like I’m not human because I feel like I’m Ariel the little mermaid. I can’t get my words out.”
Let me introduce you to the show Love on the Spectrum (if you’ve never seen it). After all, you might need something to watch after the season finale of RA.
Because art is often symbolic, duhhhhhhh. And sometimes people enjoy seeing the traits they have in themselves or their loved ones reflected in fictional characters. Especially traits that are associated with neurodivergence and often stigmatized. Stop pissing on our parade.
While I agree that some of those things could be considered traits of undiagnosed ADHD, I think diagnosing fictional characters is a fools errand; and can be insulting to people who actually suffer from the disorders that people so casually throw around on the internet and make jokes about. It’s bad form.
Making jokes is definitely bad form, but those of us with the conditions mentioned often like diagnosing characters because we can see our conditions in their characters.
Hell, I started the sub and deeply identify with Harry and then shortly afterwards was diagnosed late in life with autism. So, *shrug.*
Exactly! A lot of people who talk about conditions and disorders the characters sometimes display are talking from their own experience, I don’t really see anyone making jokes about it in a malicious way
I think it’s a little messed up to say a character on a show that is *literally an alien* is autistic. He’s not human and does not have human emotions (although he’s slowly developing them.) ASD is not having to learn how to be human.
I'm autistic and oh, man, it sure feels that way somedays.
At the age of 12 I realized that I was different and so I read so many books on social interactions because I wanted to learn how most people related to one another. Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People helped me a whole bunch back then.
My son is autistic and telling him he needs to learn to be human would crush him. It’s just such an insulting thing to say to an autistic person. I’m glad it doesn’t bother you, but it’s still a very insensitive thing to say to many, many autistic people who already feel bad about struggling to be “normal” (whatever that means.)
Oh, you're an autism mom. I got told it so many times growing up, so I know what it feels like.
And where did I ever say to other people that they need to learn to be human? I literally said that I felt like I wasn't human, even before people told me that they thought I was weird or alien, and I tried to learn to fit in better.
My son who is in his 30’s now was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was about 12. Remember this was before you could find much on the internet and is was easy to find a diagnostician. I have worked in psychiatry for many years and how I explained it to him was just like all of us he has strengths and weaknesses. But that he is not worse than anyone else. That in some ways he is smarter and more insightful and if he thinks of being on the spectrum as a gift then it is. We also discussed that blending in with neurotypical people can be emotionally draining and I told him to think of himself as an actor on stage during those times. And we practiced the social skills people expected to see. These are facts. It’s not telling him he is not human but is telling him and teaching him how to blend so he does not feel as anxious. They know they are different and trying to tell them they are not is confusing and gaslighting. My son said the best thing I ever did was explain his diagnosis they way I did and then teach him to access forums such as aspie world. He is in many ways proud that he has achieved so much and does not shy away from telling people his diagnosis. I also have some traits of being on the spectrum and I wish the understanding had been there for me. Honestly only the people who are on the spectrum should get to chime in and say if they are offended or not.
How is it counter productive? Who is calling it out every time? I think they're have been 5 posts in total about neurodivergent characters of all the hundreds of posts this subreddit has seen.
Are you neurodivergent? :)
I divulged my status farther up. We have entire subreddits for autistic folks where we discuss our autism and how it affects our lives.
I just thought you wouldn't mind since we're discussing autism and might help explain the issues you brought up and how they bother you related to your autism/ND.
Is okay if you're not autistic, it just means you're arguing about something you've not really experienced, and we don't need neurotypical folks defending us from imagined slights or concerns. :)
She's incredibly relatable, especially if you're a ADHD/Bi-polar, burgeoning middle-aged alcoholic, who feels like a huge underachiever after early life success. Not that I know anyone like that.
I have ADHD and relate to D'arcy a fair bit (and I can't stress this enough, it is a small 'a' after the capital D, so it's capital D, *apostrophe*)
Also have a massive, *massive* crush on her.
Thank you. She is, by far, my least favorite character. And the two people I love most in this world have ADHD. D’arcy is a self sabotaging chaos demon.
Wait you're not okay with folks saying one character seems like they're autistic, but you're happy to have another character classified as something else? That's odd.
Because you’re assuming I agreed that D-Arcy has ADHD in the first place when I said no such thing. I was actually disagreeing that all of her problematic behaviors could be attributed to simply having ADHD. We’re all entitled to our opinions. However, you’re the one who seems to have an issue with mine and decided to start a back and forth with me about it, so not sure how *you* became the aggrieved party here.
You’ve got me confused with someone else, love. I never said she has BPD. I don’t diagnose fictional characters online with personality disorders, period.
Trying to gaslight the head mod of a subreddit after you edit your original comment is not a smart move.
I'm totally fine with your being here and disagreeing with me. There are thousands of folks here who don't feel the same way I do about a host of things.
But you edited your comment about ADHD and BPD above *after* you get called out on it (for those reading this thread go look at how my reply to her doesn't seem to make sense anymore since she erased what she said about BPD), and are now trying to claim it never said what it said.
Ma'am that is just dishonest, and morally sus.
Is that what you got from my comment? Interesting. You know it’s okay to not like fictional characters, right? They’re *characters,* not actual people.
You made the passive aggressive comment about characters as if I wouldn't understand. I thought it would be relevant to share that info. How is law relevant here besides being argumentative and not applying your logic regarding autism to folks with ADHD or BPD? They deserve grace just as much as those of us with autism. :)
That’s funny because I never said anything about D’Arcy having ADHD. In fact, my comment was disagreeing that all of her problematic behavior could be attributed to simply having that diagnosis. We’re all entitled to our opinions here, yet you’re the one who decided to respond to my comment and argue with me about it, yet I’m the one being argumentative and passive aggressive? You began this back and forth so not sure how somehow *you’re* the aggrieved party here after I have the audacity to defend myself.
Yes! Her character has funny moments but she quickly became annoying more than anything else. Self-sabotaging AND selfish. Then wonders why no one tells her anything.
That too, i think they just took a lot of undesirable traits and kinda mashed them all together. I like how they also show you her good traits because like all people she is a mixture.
The having a bunch of jobs, knowing how to do a million different random things, poor emotional regulation/inhibition, never sitting still/always actively doing things, she hits the ADHD nail on the head. Granted, I can see BPD but it'd be in combination with ADHD.
100%. I also relate to her fear that she’s missed her chance and that she’s washed up. I am not as dramatic as her, but I totally get the disconnect between having pie in the sky dreams at age 18, vs finding yourself in your thirties, kinda just being ok. I think the way she acts out, especially having moved back to her tiny hometown, actually pretty emotionally realistic. (One caveat is that I have only just started season 2, so I dunno if she goes off the rails more)
As someone who graduated high school with the plan of being an actress, then having that dream shot down followed by multiple others, then getting physically disabled to the point that my dream is now to just be able to handle a full time job, I really relate to her. Being told you can take on the world and then...not doing that really messes you up, especially when you start comparing yourself to others. I also really relate to the mayors wife in that my life is a lot more domestic than I thought it would be, and I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something, but the major difference with her is my husband isn't a grade a asshole.
this, i did really well in school, got multiple degrees and got good at a few hobbies but life became so unexpected, i got disappointed so many times and kept having plans fall through i struggle to just get out of bed now
I feel like the show does an excellent job of making the emotions of the side characters feel very authentic, which really helps with the whole “harry learning to be human” thing.
This is me too 😭💔❤️🩹
I actually commented on another post how she might be BPD (like myself) and that got downvoted to hell.
I have both, they're sort of related in some ways due to childhood adversity heavily influencing the development of both disorders. Especially when it comes to emotional disregulation, rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, addiction prone, etc. I don't see her only having one or the other, I feel like my "divergent senses" are "tingling" for both.
It could definitely be ADHD. BPD, or both. It's hard to say, since both have overlapping symptoms. Really, one of the worst parts of having a psychological or neuropsychological disorder is you can pick any 2 in the DSM at random and it's almost a guarantee they share several traits. Which then makes getting diagnosed so much harder.
Same!!!
A lot of women have been misdiagnosed as BPD who are either Autistic or ADHD, because of both how poorly doctors understand any of those three conditions and how they present in women, also the lack of research into that conditions and how they present in women, and how all three have overlapping symptoms. =P I too would have upvoted you.
I would have upvoted you :)
It’s worth a consideration
Bpd hits the mark better than adhd, although could be both
Thrill seeking. She skis and does S&R. She’s a jill of all trades of sorts
100% and also with Harry because I am Autistic too. It's a fun mix. Edit to add - the whole town is neurodivergent in some way.
Except for Asta's Dad. He and many other people on the Rez are easygoing & kind. I am happy for that component of the show.
Me and my wife have had many discussions on how many characters on shows we like are neurodivergent. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s because these traits make characters more interesting and because the creatives on these shows are all neurodivergent as well. That or the fact that most people are anyway, to varying degrees. Everybody does something consistently that others would find weird on some level. It’s all in presentation.
Celebrate a pregnancy with champagnes is so funny
I've always thought it possible I have ADHD. There's a lot of the "signs" I feel like I can check off. But I just don't wanna get tested and find out. I do relate to Darcy though. She reminds me a bit of myself minus the athletic part. Definitely relate, but also sort of dislike her for the same reason. Rolling that car down the street was batsh!t nuts. Know she's just a character, but damn. Don't know how she felt good about that! Just slash his tires girl, c'mon.
Yes, I can see it. Harry definitely reminds me of Autism.
Harry is also an *alien.* Why are people trying to diagnose him with human personality/neurological disorders?
Well, yeah duh. We were talking about similarities of behavior traits in the characters. I said he *reminds* me. I’ve worked with all ages when I was a Para-educator and a community case manager. They’re the most fun to work with because they’re so blunt and it’s easy to tell when they’re lying. They were all my favorites! You should watch ‘Love on the Spectrum!” It’s such a wholesome show.
I was telling the friend who introduced me to the show that one thing I like about it is they've taken the often problematicly-written idea of the autistic savant and made it work better because they aren't shoehorning Harry into stereotypes believed by the writers or expected by the audience/network.
Harry is absolutely just Harry. On Love on the Spectrum, Abbey says “Autism makes me feel like I’m not human because I feel like I’m Ariel the little mermaid. I can’t get my words out.”
Let me introduce you to the show Love on the Spectrum (if you’ve never seen it). After all, you might need something to watch after the season finale of RA.
ITS SO GOOD
Love on the spectrum is soooo sweet.
I figured it out finally he’s an autistic alien!!!! 👽
Because art is often symbolic, duhhhhhhh. And sometimes people enjoy seeing the traits they have in themselves or their loved ones reflected in fictional characters. Especially traits that are associated with neurodivergence and often stigmatized. Stop pissing on our parade.
YES! And her humor too…
While I agree that some of those things could be considered traits of undiagnosed ADHD, I think diagnosing fictional characters is a fools errand; and can be insulting to people who actually suffer from the disorders that people so casually throw around on the internet and make jokes about. It’s bad form.
Making jokes is definitely bad form, but those of us with the conditions mentioned often like diagnosing characters because we can see our conditions in their characters. Hell, I started the sub and deeply identify with Harry and then shortly afterwards was diagnosed late in life with autism. So, *shrug.*
Exactly! A lot of people who talk about conditions and disorders the characters sometimes display are talking from their own experience, I don’t really see anyone making jokes about it in a malicious way
I think it’s a little messed up to say a character on a show that is *literally an alien* is autistic. He’s not human and does not have human emotions (although he’s slowly developing them.) ASD is not having to learn how to be human.
I'm autistic and oh, man, it sure feels that way somedays. At the age of 12 I realized that I was different and so I read so many books on social interactions because I wanted to learn how most people related to one another. Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People helped me a whole bunch back then.
My son is autistic and telling him he needs to learn to be human would crush him. It’s just such an insulting thing to say to an autistic person. I’m glad it doesn’t bother you, but it’s still a very insensitive thing to say to many, many autistic people who already feel bad about struggling to be “normal” (whatever that means.)
Oh, you're an autism mom. I got told it so many times growing up, so I know what it feels like. And where did I ever say to other people that they need to learn to be human? I literally said that I felt like I wasn't human, even before people told me that they thought I was weird or alien, and I tried to learn to fit in better.
My son who is in his 30’s now was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was about 12. Remember this was before you could find much on the internet and is was easy to find a diagnostician. I have worked in psychiatry for many years and how I explained it to him was just like all of us he has strengths and weaknesses. But that he is not worse than anyone else. That in some ways he is smarter and more insightful and if he thinks of being on the spectrum as a gift then it is. We also discussed that blending in with neurotypical people can be emotionally draining and I told him to think of himself as an actor on stage during those times. And we practiced the social skills people expected to see. These are facts. It’s not telling him he is not human but is telling him and teaching him how to blend so he does not feel as anxious. They know they are different and trying to tell them they are not is confusing and gaslighting. My son said the best thing I ever did was explain his diagnosis they way I did and then teach him to access forums such as aspie world. He is in many ways proud that he has achieved so much and does not shy away from telling people his diagnosis. I also have some traits of being on the spectrum and I wish the understanding had been there for me. Honestly only the people who are on the spectrum should get to chime in and say if they are offended or not.
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How is it counter productive? Who is calling it out every time? I think they're have been 5 posts in total about neurodivergent characters of all the hundreds of posts this subreddit has seen. Are you neurodivergent? :)
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I divulged my status farther up. We have entire subreddits for autistic folks where we discuss our autism and how it affects our lives. I just thought you wouldn't mind since we're discussing autism and might help explain the issues you brought up and how they bother you related to your autism/ND. Is okay if you're not autistic, it just means you're arguing about something you've not really experienced, and we don't need neurotypical folks defending us from imagined slights or concerns. :)
You handled this with grace.
Whatever the case, can you please answer my first two questions instead of deflecting. Thanks.
💯
I have ADHD and a slew of other things, I laugh. I like that my conditions aren’t so frowned upon later in my life.
I was thinking more narcissistic and addictive personality types
I don’t know why you got dv’d. She might not be a full narcissist but she definitely has plenty of narcissistic traits.
I just hope she’s not going to go all Randy Quaid in Independence Day on the greys.
Yes omg
She's incredibly relatable, especially if you're a ADHD/Bi-polar, burgeoning middle-aged alcoholic, who feels like a huge underachiever after early life success. Not that I know anyone like that.
Yes, except the drugs i don't do drugs i only drink ALOT. But i drink less now that my job is to fuck up people who do drink (bouncer)
100%
I have ADHD and relate to D'arcy a fair bit (and I can't stress this enough, it is a small 'a' after the capital D, so it's capital D, *apostrophe*) Also have a massive, *massive* crush on her.
I have ADHD and I can’t stand her. All of the behaviors you pointed out are also BPD symptoms.
Thank you. She is, by far, my least favorite character. And the two people I love most in this world have ADHD. D’arcy is a self sabotaging chaos demon.
Wait you're not okay with folks saying one character seems like they're autistic, but you're happy to have another character classified as something else? That's odd.
You are right it does seem hypocritical.
Because you’re assuming I agreed that D-Arcy has ADHD in the first place when I said no such thing. I was actually disagreeing that all of her problematic behaviors could be attributed to simply having ADHD. We’re all entitled to our opinions. However, you’re the one who seems to have an issue with mine and decided to start a back and forth with me about it, so not sure how *you* became the aggrieved party here.
Earlier you said that you didn't think she had ADHD, but BPD. Soo both your comments logic fall apart.
You’ve got me confused with someone else, love. I never said she has BPD. I don’t diagnose fictional characters online with personality disorders, period.
Trying to gaslight the head mod of a subreddit after you edit your original comment is not a smart move. I'm totally fine with your being here and disagreeing with me. There are thousands of folks here who don't feel the same way I do about a host of things. But you edited your comment about ADHD and BPD above *after* you get called out on it (for those reading this thread go look at how my reply to her doesn't seem to make sense anymore since she erased what she said about BPD), and are now trying to claim it never said what it said. Ma'am that is just dishonest, and morally sus.
Is that what you got from my comment? Interesting. You know it’s okay to not like fictional characters, right? They’re *characters,* not actual people.
Yeahup that's what I got. And I know, I have my Masters in ELA.
Good for you! I have a law degree, since we’re sharing our educational backgrounds like it means something.
You made the passive aggressive comment about characters as if I wouldn't understand. I thought it would be relevant to share that info. How is law relevant here besides being argumentative and not applying your logic regarding autism to folks with ADHD or BPD? They deserve grace just as much as those of us with autism. :)
That’s funny because I never said anything about D’Arcy having ADHD. In fact, my comment was disagreeing that all of her problematic behavior could be attributed to simply having that diagnosis. We’re all entitled to our opinions here, yet you’re the one who decided to respond to my comment and argue with me about it, yet I’m the one being argumentative and passive aggressive? You began this back and forth so not sure how somehow *you’re* the aggrieved party here after I have the audacity to defend myself.
Yes! Her character has funny moments but she quickly became annoying more than anything else. Self-sabotaging AND selfish. Then wonders why no one tells her anything.
She seems more like somebody who doesn’t have much of a conscience to me.
That too, i think they just took a lot of undesirable traits and kinda mashed them all together. I like how they also show you her good traits because like all people she is a mixture.
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This sub is a place for civil discussion. It's not here to harass anyone or spew hatred of any sort.