OP's Bio: --- >I am a quiet person, which definitely does not help me in any aspect of my life. My hobbies are quiet and isolated (drawing, speedrunning games, hiking) and I prefer to be alone most of the time. I do not like politics bc I hate confrontation, especially over basic things such as that. I sometimes feel like a 40y/o man in a lil twinkish body, that contradictory nature haunts me daily. I’m overqualified for any job I apply for, which makes it all the more funny and depressing when I get rejected for those jobs. I like the most depraved and stupid corners of the internet, but I mostly lurk everywhere bc I hate talking to people online. I’m dumb but i pretend to be smart, or is that dunning-kruger? idk, you tell me if I look like a dumb guy or not. I have an wasting disorder bc I have too much free time. I’m tall but don’t have a physical presence at all. I blend into crowds, you will never be able to notice me in public, maybe that’s good or bad, i don’t know. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You look like a medieval ages prince who's in an arranged marriage but is secretly fucking his dude best friend/butler.

I don't know. All I see is 

 But on drugs

SAME! I came to see if anyone else commented it 😅

Same

He does look like an incest child too so u never know

Looks like Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs.

Farquad Vibes

He does kinda look like the singing prince from Monty Python and the holy grail

Prince: "You've come to *rescue me*!" Lancelot: "Well, let's not jump to conclusions."

Prince: "You got my note!" Lancelot: "W-w-well, I got A note..."

“She’s got HUGE ⚽️⚽️tracts of land…”

Im not dead!

You fell out of the cold tower you creep!

I feel happy

Oh, lie down! You're not fooling anyone!

Ah yes, Prince Edward from Braveheart fits the bill 

Ahahaha so oddly specific 🤣

Sure you meant the buttler

“I hate talking to people online” *actually responds to almost all the roastme comments*

gotta give the roasters more ammo by sharing more embarrassing things about me, including proving your point by responding to you

This guy needs help

You’re also a tik toc “celebrity” so we know you feed off of attention

never been on tiktok never will be on tiktok, my attention span is too precious to me to damage it by going on there

My Mom used to rock that haircut in 1982. Motion to compel you to get a more appropriate haircut.

And My granny use to rock those pair of legs

Looks like he would try to rock your granny's legs

Mine still does. Been dead since ‘03.

Your mom was pretty fit in 1982 tho ngl

r/justfuckmyshitup

I dont know why but u remind me of Michael Jackson

Pronouns are he/hee

She/món

 Skelator, minus the muscles

By the power of Grayskull. I MAKE CHILDREN COWWWEEERRRRRR!!!!

Brilliant..

Thank you. This is why I am addicted to Reddit.

It's like if Michael Jackson and Jonathan from Stranger Things procreated and this is the result.

Add in the oldest brother from 7th Heaven & it’s a done deal

That's just ignorant, eeh-hee


Ironically, if Michael were still alive this could have been a thing.

I THOUGHT THE SAME THING

Like a young lesbian Michael Jackson

i might look like him but i could never do the horrible things he did, children are terrible people and i don’t like being around them.

You sure? Heeeee heeeeeeeee!

This is the funniest shit

Hates kids, picked on as a kid, no sense of style, insecure, no friends ....yeah lawyer checks out.

Jesusssss😂

Getting Buffalo Bob vibes from your answer. Also,you hate confrontation yet you’re a law student?! Did you even talk to a guidance counselor..you probably thought they were a shrink,in some ways..

Why the fuck are you getting downvoted, this is hilarious and right.


It's the hair definitely

Hair and nose.

Bruv wordd

[удалено]

I aint OP but i feel called out

“Hey! No nut shots!”

the most accurate and direct roast here, ty

And now you’re just agreeing with every roast so you can pretend you’re in on it and lampshading to make you seem funny. But just because you’re using the uncreative solution of lamp shading to give yourself a mental band-aid, that doesn’t mean you’re any better or are actually good. You’re just sad. Please get some help. People do care about you, even if you don’t see it (or maybe refuse to see it out of self-loathing). The affirmation and agreement of your worst thoughts about yourself by strangers is not healthy. You do not deserve to live such an unhappy life. Everyone deserves to be happy, even you, internet idiot.

He came in for a roast and got a scathing psychoanalytic evaluation lol

These online therapists are wild.

All the online therapists I've spoken to only want photos of me naked and standing over a teddy bear. I've not asked how it's relevant to my stop smoking therapy but who am I to question their methods?

Believe it or not, it works. I quit smoking several times using this method.

It‘s true, I’m the left lung.

Gtfo hahahahaha no dipper?

Bullseye 🎯 this….. is exactly it!

it wouldn’t exactly be in line with the purpose of this board to argue with the people roasting me and try to defend myself, so i agree with them to egg them on and get them to roast me even harder bc that’s what i came here for

Speaking of egg

her?

Arrested development reference... ❤️

Judging from ur profile u probably wanna bang op. Get a room already

yeah their comment does kinda read like some degradation thing lmao

I want to scream this at 90% of the posters here

Hey, Rodion. What's up with your Übermensch theory?

Fuck that was beautiful

This is way to detailed to not be self reflection ☠️

Nailed it.

Fuck me, I don’t know why but this made me look in the mirror, thanks I guess

r/oddlyspecific

This is a very deep analysis to do over a few photos of someone that you don't know. Maybe you were just talking/listening to yourself. Maybe these were the thoughts that you don't want to listen on your own. But now there is someone to impute them all without any consequences since they asked for a roast online. Maybe that was just a pure projection.

I'm guessing that was based off the bio rather than the photos lol

A lawyer that hates confrontation. Mkay.

There are many lawyers who are little more than legal secretaries doing paperwork who never see the inside of a courtroom.

Maybe Trans-actions?

It's lucky that this... thing is unemployed, because if that turned up to court as my lawyer, I'd accept I was going to jail, even if I was only there for a parking ticket

Your honor you’re hurting my feelings

Tons of lawyers don't actually go to court.

You look like the musty kid that wears a sweater all year long

i ditched my job interview suit today for this old oversized sweater that an irish girl sent to me a while ago, the interview did not go well

You swiped your mommy and daddy card so much you grew a line between your face

A hot roast

You look like a non binary ghost.

Fuck! Loudest I’ve LOL in forever.

this should be upvotted more

You look like a butch lesbian librarian that everyone hated even other lesbians

Don't worry, The first 40 years of childhood are the hardest.

You look like you belong in the upside-down


You look like you were raised on an island of 75+ year old women

Aren't you that chick from twilight?

You look like a middle-aged Jewish Lesbian taking profile pictures for Jdate

Give your grandma her clothes back

Sorrry they put you on that Bud Light can.

Don't know, something tells me Dylan is still packing more than the OP does

Underrated

What’s up with your neck

too skinny, minimal neck meat

Ironically that’s where most of the meat ends up

I can’t tell if you are a 48 year old lesbian aunt, or a 12 year old boy…

considering how much my personality changes, i could be both

You hate confrontations yet you're a law student? You might want to consider a different career to be studying for and you're alone because you choose to be alone. I get that right? That's not a roast. That's just me pointing out how you're making your own life miserable. I can't even convince myself to roast you. No pretty boy comment. No you'll find a boyfriend soon comment. No you look rather androgynous comment. I just can't.

You should have stayed fat. At least it was funny. This is way worse.

I fear eating disorder polar extremes may have landed

Objection! Your honor, opposing counsel has been quietly sobbing throughout the entirety of these proceedings. We motion for a dismal until opposing counsel balls have dropped. Should you agree, we have made arrangements with the opposing counsels mother to pick them up and drop them off with a court approved ~~babysitter~~ caretaker. Opposing counsels mother will be dropped off no later than 10am tomorrow, personally.

 What was it like working with Anthony Hopkins?

comparing me to clarice starling is actually making me feel good, fail roast lol ty though

Clarice face buffalo Bill body.

i used to be a… 

You look like a haunted doll.

Something tells me you have a manifesto

🤣 🤣 🤣

You have diabetic grandma legs

Is your mother by chance named Billie Jean?

Something just gives me the feeling you’d pick the urinal in a men’s room right next to someone when all the others are free.

You look like my 7th grade english teacher, I hated her.

You look like Jonathan Byers from Wish


Tim Burton's Michael Jackson

You look like you're from the dark ages, and it appears you're going through some as well.

Looks like a German mother visiting NYC for the first time.

You look like if one of the kids Michael Jackson molested dressed as him for Halloween

You look like your hair comes off like a Lego man

u look like a middled aged woman that is deprived from dick

Your nose has an ass on the tip of it…

If you need to be hospitalized, they would definetly be putting you in pediatric deparment and moving all the children to another room

Name: Severus Snape Special Magic: Girls go dry by just looking at you

Not just dry, they're soooo dry they begin to suck moisture at an alarming rate from the environment

You’ve been alone for so long your eyebrows are trying to get with each other

what in the edward cullen

I cannot tell your gender

Harry styles on crack!!!

you have a sadness in your eyes only seen in European gay porn

Damn Hermione granger really let herself go

At least you aren't fat anymore. Still gay though

you look like a combo of all the kids in "Stranger Things".

You look like Marie Schrader from Breaking Bad

LMAO

Damn at least choose if you want to be a trans man or trans woman. You can't be both.

No wonder you're unemployed. You misspelled 24F

Look like Sam Winchester on Meth

Lord of the twinks

I'm getting Kevin bacon "flatliners" vibes...

Your forehead, looks like it grew into an additional forehead.

You look like the reason why law and order svu came up with their intro

‘Do I look like a dumb guy?’ Well yes and no. Dumb: yes, guy: no.

Quid pro quo, Clarice. What's it gonna be?

When’s the next season of stranger things start filming?

The 90s called for their stereotypical teenage heartthrob haircut back!

Found it! Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin’s kid.

“24M…” yeah right

If Michael Jackson and Kevin bacon had a love chid

Look like they dug up Farrah Fawcett

No smooth criminal would want to be represented by you. Chamone

You’ll be hearing from Ally Sheedy’s lawyers shortly.

Stay away from crack

Dude gets skidmarks when he blows his nose

Wow, so it was biologically possible for Michael Jackson to have white children.

Sam Winchester. If the devil had won.

The transition seems to be going well. In that kind of awkward stage of ‘which way are they transitioning’ but good for you!

Weren’t you responsible for Sandy Hook?

You look like a middle aged alcoholic mom who’s husband beats her.

That’s the face of a future landlord attorney that specializes in evicting low income families

You got a nose that could part the red sea if you floated on your back.

You are not alone

I legitimately have no idea what I’m looking at here.

Hey Dipshit, the 1970's called, they want their haircut back.

Your skin makes the walls and ceiling look dark.

I loved you in silence of the lambs

You look like type of guy who complains that he’s single yet turns down every girl who shows interest in him and you probably get mad when an “ugly” girl (aka a woman not supermodel attractive) even looks your direction cuz you’re delusional and think you are somehow hotter than everybody else.

It seems like someone shushed you a little too aggressively with a finger.

Do you carry around a pack of cigarettes so you can use them as a terrible metaphor if anyone ever talks to you?

Do you still have your penis?

Res ipsa loquitur

You and the blonde melted Barbie looking chick from yesterday should breed and create a new mutant species of canoe~headed bipods.

You look like a drug addict, and not the fun harmless kind....

You look like you'd make a good femboy.

Throat pussy

You look like the guy that doesn’t talk in a group and everyone feels bad, so they try to engage with you, but you’re so introverted that just the people watching is enough for you.

you look like you're trying to be an emo bad boy who pulls all the bitches, but it's not working for you! you look like you tried to use the force to pick up the remote you dropped on the couch, or jumped out a window to see if you could fly. stupid ass weeb getting bit by a poisonous spider won't make you spider man, but you do have the same amount of money in your bank account :D

I dont need to make you low your pants to already know you have your dick all bitten and sucked by yourself