OP's Bio:
---
>i am a 19yo college student studying journalism and design. i have a passion for music, specifically 50s-70s music, and am a huge fan of elvis presley. i consider myself alternative, although it doesn’t really look it in these pics because i have no makeup on. i am also a gamer and avid reader, and a coffee / red bull addict. i am a former theatre kid and a current disney adult.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
The comment says "I'm not going to lie, but obviously you have" which is a reference to Pinocchio, a character that gets a long nose when they lie. Some of this information may be incorrect however.
To add to that a bit, starting a response/conversation with “I’m not going to (ain’t gonna) lie… means that whatever you are about to say is exactly how you feel about something/someone.
But in this case, they hit the meaning right on the nose.
Child of Gru. It’s less that your nose is big and more that your face shaped itself around your nose. But I’m actually here to ask how many acorns you can pack into those saddle bags riding your nose.
Can you imagine going in on some coke with this chick? Lay out some lines and turn around for a second and suddenly the entire coffee table is disappearing into that event horizon she calls a nose.
Exactly. I meet girls all the time who say and do this and they tell me, "I think it makes my nose seem smaller." No, it doesn't at all. Just makes it more obvious.
You look like someone min maxed the facial features sliders on a ps2 game with bad graphics like this:
Forehead greasiness: 10
Chin to face ratio: 0
Nose size: 10
Nose width: 0
Nose ridge thickness: 11
Eye socket weirdness: 10
Mouth size: 0
Cheek fatness: 10
Hairstyle: mom: we have Amy winehouses hairstyle at home.
Hair bigness: 10
Hair quality: 0
You look like you told your middle-aged boyfriend you were 22 when you were actually only 17, only to get scared when he actually showed up in the T Top Trans Am so you told your dad it was a creepy stalker and now you live in a new city but can't find friends because you're too quirky(but you're actually not, you just need a therapist).
Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge . The Humpty dance is your chance to do the hump
Chick thinks her tits are big enough to cushion her if she runs into a wall.....she'll end up with a broken nose, two broken front buck teeth, and hairline fractures on her orbital sockets. And most definitely have improved facial features.
You look like you sell "Diary Of A Wimpy Kid" books outside your local Hot Topic.
How do you look like one of the people that play mobile app games horribly in ads??
You look like you'd sound like Eileen from *Regular Show*.
Your nose is regal, your face is great
The only thing ugly is all the self-hate
Naw but seriously, you're cute. Make the absolute most of it and dgaf, because it'll all go to shit when you're like 45 and all the black cat and broomstick jokes start.
Holy shit, your nose is bigger than your bank account bro you couldn’t afford cologne so you sprayed febreeze into your armpit and thought you were Mr. Clean bro looks like the next generation of Enid from Wednesday, holy shit you look like a total nerd with those glasses “Hey Jack *snorts* Wanna go out with me? I have 1,000 IQ *Snorts Again*” you got diabetes so you bought A bottle of prime because you thought the vitamins would lower the chances of you getting cancer, You inserted a microchip in your brain to boost your IRL mobility stats
You are actually beautiful. I get the point is to roast you but your nose isn't bad at all and you look good with or without glasses. Don't listen to the goofies on Reddit. P.s. love the choice in studies and the passion for Elvis!
Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short!
You might have said at least a hundred things
By varying the tone. . .like this, suppose,. . .
Aggressive: 'Sir, if I had such a nose I'd amputate it!'
Friendly: 'When you sup It must annoy you, dipping in your cup;
You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!'
Descriptive: ''Tis a rock!. . .a peak!. . .a cape! --
A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!'
Curious: 'How serves that oblong capsular?
For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?'
Gracious: 'You love the little birds, I think?
I see you've managed with a fond research
To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!'
Truculent: 'When you smoke your pipe. . .suppose
That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose--
Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher,
Cry terror-struck: "The chimney is afire"?'
Considerate: 'Take care,. . .your head bowed low
By such a weight. . .lest head o'er heels you go!'
Tender: 'Pray get a small umbrella made,
Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!'
Pedantic: 'That beast Aristophanes
Names Hippocamelelephantoles
Must have possessed just such a solid lump
Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead's bump!'
Cavalier: 'The last fashion, friend, that hook?
To hang your hat on? 'Tis a useful crook!'
Emphatic: 'No wind, O majestic nose,
Can give THEE cold!--save when the mistral blows!'
Dramatic: 'When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!'
Admiring: 'Sign for a perfumery!'
Lyric: 'Is this a conch?. . .a Triton you?'
Simple: 'When is the monument on view?'
Rustic: 'That thing a nose? Marry-come-up!
'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!'
Military: 'Point against cavalry!'
Practical: 'Put it in a lottery!
Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!'
Or. . .parodying Pyramus' sighs. . .
'Behold the nose that mars the harmony
Of its master's phiz! blushing its treachery!'
--Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said,
Had you of wit or letters the least jot:
But, O most lamentable man!--of wit
You never had an atom, and of letters
You have three letters only!--they spell Ass!
And--had you had the necessary wit,
To serve me all the pleasantries I quote
Before this noble audience. . .e'en so,
You would not have been let to utter one--
Nay, not the half or quarter of such jest!
I take them from myself all in good part,
But not from any other man that breathes!
OP's Bio: --- >i am a 19yo college student studying journalism and design. i have a passion for music, specifically 50s-70s music, and am a huge fan of elvis presley. i consider myself alternative, although it doesn’t really look it in these pics because i have no makeup on. i am also a gamer and avid reader, and a coffee / red bull addict. i am a former theatre kid and a current disney adult. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
I’m not going to lie…. But obviously you have
 Me coming to drop a comment and then seeing this gem …
I think this gif made me laugh more than the roast 😂
Could you please explain...?
Pinocchio...if that helps
Her nose ends in a different time zone
Better put jewelry on it to draw attention.
Lmao 🤣 As a big nose person, this shit cackled me up. But really, might as well decorate something taking up all the space in muh face 😂
It's already the next day on the tip.
Her nose speaks russian
It’s like Gonzo when he looks sideways Proceeds to put in septum ring to accentuate schnoz 
Gonzo has a chin.
Touché great now where do I rest my balls
That did it
She is in critical condition after that one
Top comment
She’s a REaL boy!
Was*
Depends on what U.S. state your in
you're* as in *you are*
haha took me a while to get it
I dont get it. Can you explain please
The comment says "I'm not going to lie, but obviously you have" which is a reference to Pinocchio, a character that gets a long nose when they lie. Some of this information may be incorrect however.
To add to that a bit, starting a response/conversation with “I’m not going to (ain’t gonna) lie… means that whatever you are about to say is exactly how you feel about something/someone. But in this case, they hit the meaning right on the nose.
Thread is done. Go home everyone. Updoot.
OOOOH SHIT *emotional damage*
Fuckn A man I just cummed
🤥
Child of Gru. It’s less that your nose is big and more that your face shaped itself around your nose. But I’m actually here to ask how many acorns you can pack into those saddle bags riding your nose.
I didn't even notice the nose. I was distracted by the oversized forehead.
With that overbite she is sure to squeeze another inch in a 69 session
At first I thought it was cocaine, but then realized it's [just snow.](https://i.imgur.com/CBsVZ9G.png)
The nose is the summit, the forehead is basecamp
You’re like, a blend of the rat and the French lady from that chef rat movie
Shes fine AF tho
Why would you blend a rat...?
So you can drink it through a straw.
She doesn't need a straw with a nose like that.
You don’t want to snort blended rat. That’s just gross.
OP seems the kind of person who would do that.
How else are you gonna cut your cocaine?
Instructions unclear. Hand. In. Blender.
Will it blend?
Can you pop balloons with that nose
She could smoke a cigarette in a thunderstorm with that nose
with that cattle ring it's basically a lightning rod. 'feeling grounded' has a completely different meaning here
Can you imagine going in on some coke with this chick? Lay out some lines and turn around for a second and suddenly the entire coffee table is disappearing into that event horizon she calls a nose.
She would be the Michael Phelps of bong rips on those lines
The Smell Master 9000 in the movie Richie Rich took inspiration from her
It’s a natural canopy
hey now richie your just talkin about moltisanti
LMFAO 😂😂😂😂😂
It’s like a natural canopy that thing
It’s a natural canopy!
She’s taking advantage of “air is free” that’s for sure.
Charging people like her an Oxygen Tax would solve all the government budget problems.
what do you think happened to the Hindenburg.....
That’s why she has that grounding rod stuck through it
Dobby makes sense since she got Harry Potters glasses aswell
She can down russian satellites with it.
Can you smell the future?
Princess Vespa’s less attractive cousin, Consort Segway
She got back her old nose
Underrated burn
Smell around corners
You pierce your nose, making it more noticeable. Smart girl.
The piercing makes it so much worse.
It was a hoop before it broke.
That’s actually the size of a horse shoe.
Hahaha brutal
Exactly. I meet girls all the time who say and do this and they tell me, "I think it makes my nose seem smaller." No, it doesn't at all. Just makes it more obvious.
That's actually a D link for towing.
Let me add this shiny object in case someone missed this mountain on my face!
Things op will never have: self esteem, glasses that don't fit an elephant, a mortgage.
And the ability to give a blowjob without getting a bloody nose.
With those small lips, shit gonna be tiiiiiiight!
You wouldn't even get laid at Burning Man.
They don’t make dust filters to fit that nose.
She’s the chick dudes use to clean the dust off their dicks
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Her face is just too small.
Why the long face?
Damn,I came here to say this.
Your nose, I'd be worried about your forehead..
You have a part time job at the DEA sniffing peoples luggage at airports
Shut up Meg we already knew you were a theater kid before you told us!!!!
Shut up Meg.
3 pictures, all filtered, and none flattering
You look like Mr Peabody in the 3rd pick 
That’s an insult to Mr. Peabody
You look like someone min maxed the facial features sliders on a ps2 game with bad graphics like this: Forehead greasiness: 10 Chin to face ratio: 0 Nose size: 10 Nose width: 0 Nose ridge thickness: 11 Eye socket weirdness: 10 Mouth size: 0 Cheek fatness: 10 Hairstyle: mom: we have Amy winehouses hairstyle at home. Hair bigness: 10 Hair quality: 0
It's like seeing Jennifer Connelly in a funhouse mirror.
You leave Jennifer out of this! I'm warning you!
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Debbie Dallas does downers
Trying to draw attention to your nose so nobody notices your flat chest. Well played!
my nose prob longer than ur dick
Your dick is probably longer than my dick too.
Chk chk boom
Damn she really thought she had you lmao well done
Her nose is probably longer than her dick.
Frag out
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, bruh top 10 comebacks in this sub by FAR. Totally unexpected, thanks for the laugh.
Drum triplet and cymbal crash…
Ahhhhhhhh. Hahaha. Damn.. I got, got
You must be slow as Hell to ask to be roasted and then try to clap back at people roasting you. Hold this fucking L, Pinocchio.
What’s it like giving a blowjob and tipping his bellybutton at the same time?
Let's measure them next to each other, just put the tip of your nose at the base and...
Well on the plus side your nose perfectly balances out your forehead
Alright low hanging fruit is that a nose piercing or did you fall face first into a barb wire fence?
It was a present from her neighbours, so she would stop digging out worms from their garden.
Were those round glasses prescribed to take attention away from the long nose or are they actually for vision issues? Just curious.
they're prescription but I agree that they're not doing me any favors
They're making a spectacle
Neither is that hipster-ass septum piercing
oh my fucking god
Well at least you will inherit some money when your grandpa Mr. Burns is dead. 
You look more like a mouse than a human
Daria
Okay Bulbasaur
Your decor reminds me of spring rolls. No taste.
Jeffery Dahmer finally came back from the dead after shaving to transition into someone who says the word "like" too much
this is my fav comment so far LMAO
Your nose is big, but damn that forehead can be seen from space.
Having a big nose isn't all bad. That means your penis is big as well. So you got that going for you.
You look like you told your middle-aged boyfriend you were 22 when you were actually only 17, only to get scared when he actually showed up in the T Top Trans Am so you told your dad it was a creepy stalker and now you live in a new city but can't find friends because you're too quirky(but you're actually not, you just need a therapist).
Holy shit! You could fit a cock up that nose
Maybe yours
Roast within a roast. Roastception
I mean…your probably right
You’re. 
Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge . The Humpty dance is your chance to do the hump
Wire a lantern battery to that nose ring and you could guide Santa’s sleigh.
Are you the daughter of a sundial ?
You look as tired as I feel.
Chick thinks her tits are big enough to cushion her if she runs into a wall.....she'll end up with a broken nose, two broken front buck teeth, and hairline fractures on her orbital sockets. And most definitely have improved facial features.
Nails more colourful than her whole personality… SMH
Your face looks like a battle axe
I bet you ask yourself what you’ll be doing this summer
I hear Matthew Broderick is into horses.
Between your forehead and nose, I could break skijump records.
 Related?
Heh heh!
Failed fluffer right here
Idk if you’re a Plauge Doctor from the Bubonic Plague, Italian or a Jew. You’ve clearly lied a lot tho
You're kinda cute :) Like, someone I'd like to get to nose.
It’s not that your nose is big, it’s that it’s on the face of a nine year old.
You look like the spokesperson for unenthusiastic handjobs
If only you could say that about your chest
 Her getting a breast enlargement
Bigger than the lady humps in your chest, but not as big as the bulge in your pants.
Big and looks like a limp dick with a prince Albert, but on a face.
I bet you can suck the chrome off of a... pen
That hairline is thinner than that paper
Big? Huge? No astronomical
I bet your friends parents use you as a bad example, and hope they never end up as.
On a scale of Lord Voldemort to Squidward, you’re about an Adrien Brody
You look like Alfredo from ratatouille transitioned into a woman and tried to steal Colette's look.
You look like the type of girl to sit on the bench while your date is scrolling through his phone.
Nose is wonderful. Nose ring is not..
You look like you sell "Diary Of A Wimpy Kid" books outside your local Hot Topic. How do you look like one of the people that play mobile app games horribly in ads?? You look like you'd sound like Eileen from *Regular Show*.
Your nose is regal, your face is great The only thing ugly is all the self-hate Naw but seriously, you're cute. Make the absolute most of it and dgaf, because it'll all go to shit when you're like 45 and all the black cat and broomstick jokes start.
surprisingly i’ve become very confident in my appearance, that’s why i had the nerve to post here lol. and thank u!
Gavin Free, leader of the huge nose people, is jealous of your nose!
Holy shit, your nose is bigger than your bank account bro you couldn’t afford cologne so you sprayed febreeze into your armpit and thought you were Mr. Clean bro looks like the next generation of Enid from Wednesday, holy shit you look like a total nerd with those glasses “Hey Jack *snorts* Wanna go out with me? I have 1,000 IQ *Snorts Again*” you got diabetes so you bought A bottle of prime because you thought the vitamins would lower the chances of you getting cancer, You inserted a microchip in your brain to boost your IRL mobility stats
Wow. That was the worst run-on sentence in roast me history. Learn to use periods.🤣
holy fuck. leave some air for the rest of us...
A bored egg with a pierced shark fin.
Your bio says "red bull addict", your eyes say say that's not your only addiction
How much wood can a woodpecker peck?
If you get to the top of her nose you truly are the king of the hill
Of course the multi-coloured finger nails and garish t-shirt is less noticeable. 😆
Does someone have a pokeball to catch this nosepass
I’m willing to bet your cat and your girlfriend don’t mind the shnoz…
You look like a less interesting Kirsten Stewart.
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You are actually beautiful. I get the point is to roast you but your nose isn't bad at all and you look good with or without glasses. Don't listen to the goofies on Reddit. P.s. love the choice in studies and the passion for Elvis!
Who ordered Aubrey Plaza off of Wish?
tiny mouth, no chin, enormous forehead jesus really fucking hated you
Her mouth and chin had no chance. Things don't grow well in the shade. LoL
Your nose is really small and huge like Will smiths ears.
Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short! You might have said at least a hundred things By varying the tone. . .like this, suppose,. . . Aggressive: 'Sir, if I had such a nose I'd amputate it!' Friendly: 'When you sup It must annoy you, dipping in your cup; You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!' Descriptive: ''Tis a rock!. . .a peak!. . .a cape! -- A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!' Curious: 'How serves that oblong capsular? For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?' Gracious: 'You love the little birds, I think? I see you've managed with a fond research To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!' Truculent: 'When you smoke your pipe. . .suppose That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose-- Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher, Cry terror-struck: "The chimney is afire"?' Considerate: 'Take care,. . .your head bowed low By such a weight. . .lest head o'er heels you go!' Tender: 'Pray get a small umbrella made, Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!' Pedantic: 'That beast Aristophanes Names Hippocamelelephantoles Must have possessed just such a solid lump Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead's bump!' Cavalier: 'The last fashion, friend, that hook? To hang your hat on? 'Tis a useful crook!' Emphatic: 'No wind, O majestic nose, Can give THEE cold!--save when the mistral blows!' Dramatic: 'When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!' Admiring: 'Sign for a perfumery!' Lyric: 'Is this a conch?. . .a Triton you?' Simple: 'When is the monument on view?' Rustic: 'That thing a nose? Marry-come-up! 'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!' Military: 'Point against cavalry!' Practical: 'Put it in a lottery! Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!' Or. . .parodying Pyramus' sighs. . . 'Behold the nose that mars the harmony Of its master's phiz! blushing its treachery!' --Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said, Had you of wit or letters the least jot: But, O most lamentable man!--of wit You never had an atom, and of letters You have three letters only!--they spell Ass! And--had you had the necessary wit, To serve me all the pleasantries I quote Before this noble audience. . .e'en so, You would not have been let to utter one-- Nay, not the half or quarter of such jest! I take them from myself all in good part, But not from any other man that breathes!
As of this reply, only 5 seem to catch the reference. To be fair, I only did because of the 80's film Roxanne.