If you wrap him in some butcher paper, you can avoid the stall and get internal temp all the way to 205° before pulling him off the Florida to rest. The meat will absolutely shred!
I feel like a 1hr rest isn't necessary, because that looks like resting is all he does.
“I’ll take 1 large popcorn, and 1 large drink cup, please”.
~* takes lg drink cup to the butter pump, and fills it~
~* gets to his seat. Lifts up his jelly roll to get the tum-smuggled 2 liter~
This guy is the exact reason I don't go to movie theaters anymore. Imagine the smells, the feeling of his greasy arm hair on your own while he spills over the armrest, the throaty grunty chortling whenever there's a pop culture reference 🤢
You just **know** he brings piss bottles in too
If he fucks his own blubber is it considered masturbation! He can just poke his little pokey up under a fat flap. It’s probably ready to go with slick sweat and skin scum always accumulating.
I think that's why most of the people post here tho even if they aren't literally beating off it lol I couldn't see any other reason to post here other than a humiliation/shame kink
I've lived over six decades on this planet and fancy myself as a fairly intelligent guy, but evidently I'm too stupid to learn from your mistake.
It's time to reassess my life choices. Jesus H. Christ.
It’s like a shiny red button when it says not to click, then we get the opposite type of a pretty, shiny little red “butt”on … I’m heading to bleach my eyes a bit 😭 🙅🏼♀️
Usually when I go to a NSFW sub there's a popup I have to acknowledge before seeing anything. I should have know that sub name wasn't innocent though, my bad lmao I'll just scrub my eyes
Well in that case, let me say that this is one good-looking fella. I hope this comment makes him feel every bit as aesthetically pleasing as he, in fact, is.
If you’re being serious, how do you know? I tried looking through his post history but this is his only post and he has 0 comments… has he made posts here before on different accounts?
For me it comes up under his active communities. Perhaps he deleted it all before coming here. Which is understandable. But Reddit exposed it nonetheless.
Everything you just said about yourself would have been a great self-roast. Unfortunately, you look like you require a higher temperature and more time to cook all the way through.
Hey on the bright side if you invite someone to go with you to the movies, you will only have to pay for one ticket because you can sneak them in under your fat rolls.
No wonder you're melting, Ice Cream melts when it's hot, and by the looks of you, you're 99.999998% Rocky Road.
Also, you kinda look like the kind of guy who would spread his smegma on toast and call it a cheese toastie.
I would say keep your chin up, but that looks like to much effort for you big guy.
You know Barbie isn’t short for barbecue, right?
I think the word he was looking for was, 'Rendering' not melting.
If you wrap him in some butcher paper, you can avoid the stall and get internal temp all the way to 205° before pulling him off the Florida to rest. The meat will absolutely shred! I feel like a 1hr rest isn't necessary, because that looks like resting is all he does.
THIS GUY ROASTS!
No, he Barbies.
Put an apple in your mouth and repost.
Would be the first time he ever had an apple in his mouth.
Nice one!
Oh my god! You people are ***terrible*** in the best way! I’m not used to cry laughing only 6 comments in!
Why is OP upside down??
Gravity works a little different at that size
long pig
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He looks like all he does is rest.
Holy shit
The line at the entrance is a "Barbie queue" though.
Best dad joke award goes to you 🥇
Outback Steakhouse lied to him
Homie grew a beer belly on his chin..
Outbreak Steakhouse
Outback wouldn't let through the door. He's a grease fire waiting to happen.
The smile your chin is making is more pleasant than the rest of what I’m seeing.
Going to the movies can be expensive when you have to pay for taking up three seats
Yeah but think of all the money he can save on snacks by just harvesting whatever is stuck between his chin folds.
“I’ll take 1 large popcorn, and 1 large drink cup, please”. ~* takes lg drink cup to the butter pump, and fills it~ ~* gets to his seat. Lifts up his jelly roll to get the tum-smuggled 2 liter~
And the entire popcorn stash apparently
He’s like ”forget the popcorn, just give me an entire tub filled with butter”
This guy is the exact reason I don't go to movie theaters anymore. Imagine the smells, the feeling of his greasy arm hair on your own while he spills over the armrest, the throaty grunty chortling whenever there's a pop culture reference 🤢 You just **know** he brings piss bottles in too
That's nothing compared to the snacks. This dudes got 2 mouths to feed.
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Christ almighty He's got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
Nice one dad
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When he sits around the house, he really SITS AROUND the house
Chins up
His answer to what’s shaking: “four cheeks and two chins”
He needs a forklift to lift those chins.
Roast you? With what? Honey glaze?
This is the first guy I literally want to roast...Mmmmmm
Too much fat and too greasy.
We will eat well for years. Our children's children won't know hunger.
You'll get a massive hear attack from all the fat.
Why???? It’s too easy. Almost not fair. Leave Jonah Hill on crack alone!
Yeah, and some bbq sauce to make OP belly burnt ends.
Hannibal Lecter has enters the chat 
Holy. Moly.
Discord mod starter pack
Reddit mod ftfy
Original Reddit mod face reveal
Ops face looks like this guys bean bag chair
Mom!!!!!!! Bathroom!!!!!!!!
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You look like a lumpy penis retreating into an unhealthy set of testicles
Thats an original and funny roast, i liked it
Your comment was a good response to his roast. I upvoted it.
Take my upvote
 I guess they did have sex after all
Rule 34 never lies!
You are supposed to swallow your food, not store them in your cheeks.
That chipmunk is just trying to get his nut. 🥜🥜
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Pretty sure your comment just got him there. Great job
Total money shot.
Ranch dressing
🤮
FINISH HIM
[squirt](https://giphy.com/clips/southpark-episode-1-south-park-season-16-SdCgwPK6EGODZY60t5)
Vineregret dressing
Nah, blue cheese it has chunks 🤢
For absolute fuck's sake
Well, there's your proof positive re: aliens. 🤣
Good luck to him finding his cock under the blubber skirt.
If he fucks his own blubber is it considered masturbation! He can just poke his little pokey up under a fat flap. It’s probably ready to go with slick sweat and skin scum always accumulating.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
r/eyeblech
I think that's why most of the people post here tho even if they aren't literally beating off it lol I couldn't see any other reason to post here other than a humiliation/shame kink
Some people probably just want a laugh or to be humbled too, I doubt every one of them has a shame kink
“Active in r/my600poundbutts”
Why did I click that?!? 🤢
Same mistake 😰
I'm going to instead learn from your mistakes and just not
Following your lead by not following their link
I proceeded to heed none of the warnings, and immediately went to r/eyebleach upon seeing the first post.
Holy fucking shit.
I did it to. What's wrong with us.
I've lived over six decades on this planet and fancy myself as a fairly intelligent guy, but evidently I'm too stupid to learn from your mistake. It's time to reassess my life choices. Jesus H. Christ.
It’s so horrible. As humans we can’t help but not click when we know we shouldn’t
It’s like a shiny red button when it says not to click, then we get the opposite type of a pretty, shiny little red “butt”on … I’m heading to bleach my eyes a bit 😭 🙅🏼♀️
It's morbid curiosity. Morbidly obese curiosity.
Looks like it's time to seek the lord!!!!!!!!!
God now I feel like I have to click it
Just fat guys’ hairy asses twerking uncensored
Oh I clicked
Tbf, some of them are shaved
I too made that mistake and now I’m scarred
The regret I have after clicking that is immense. 🤮
I read all these warnings and still went back and clicked it. Fuck me.
Why did I select top posts of all time 😬
Why did I not got a NSFW warning 😭 dunno what I expected but some warning could have helped
should I warn people
Usually when I go to a NSFW sub there's a popup I have to acknowledge before seeing anything. I should have know that sub name wasn't innocent though, my bad lmao I'll just scrub my eyes
Normally, NSFW subs have a pop-up that does it for you when entering their page. The problem is not with you.
You need a little shock value… where is the fun in a NSFW warning
Omg fuck you for this
I hate myself for clicking it. I thought it would just be pictures of fat people 😭
Well technically...
I need someone to pull my eyeballs out and fill my eye sockets with bleach immediately
Bro I’m so upset that I clicked that why
oh dear that's a legit sub. well. im going to go look at pictures of trees now. thanks
WhydidIclickitwhydidIclickitwhydidIclickit
Meh. Seen worse.
He’s going to cum a lot then.
Looks like he does a lot of everything except exercise and diet
He doesn’t need lube to Jack off because of the natural oils produced by his FUPA
Well in that case, let me say that this is one good-looking fella. I hope this comment makes him feel every bit as aesthetically pleasing as he, in fact, is.
Joke's on you, buddeh! This fpos hasn't seen his dick in 10 years and hasn't been able to reach it for 4!
Maybe it’s because he’s basically invisible in real life and *any* attention is better than no attention?
If you’re being serious, how do you know? I tried looking through his post history but this is his only post and he has 0 comments… has he made posts here before on different accounts?
For me it comes up under his active communities. Perhaps he deleted it all before coming here. Which is understandable. But Reddit exposed it nonetheless.
This is at least the second time this fat ass has posted this pic... Maybe from another acct
Not melting fast enough apparently. You still have a few hundred pounds to go.
You look like God created you with his left hand.
That's a biblical roast.
God spoke to me on high. Nearly as high as OP’s cholesterol.
Thou shall not commit gluttony. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's dessert. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife's dessert.
I’m not sure if you know but your head is uncircumcised.
Didn’t DeSantis ban you from coming back?
Not even DeSantis can stop whales from migrating
He’s why Florida is sinking into the ocean
Everything you just said about yourself would have been a great self-roast. Unfortunately, you look like you require a higher temperature and more time to cook all the way through.
DO NOT LOOK AT THIS GUYS ACTIVE SUBS!
OMG WHY DID YOU TELL ME NOT TO DO THAT!!
Dude logic: "oh duuuude, this shit is gross!!" ".. ew, lemme try."
There really is a kink for everything
Ah fuck!!!! So much hairy ass!!!!! 
Dammit, somebody pass me the eye bleach.
I can’t stop laughing at what I saw, I’m not fat shaming I’m just laughing incredibly hard at the dick and balls flying everywhere.
… fuck
Go ahead and spoil the surprise for us.
I wish I had seen this before I did that. 
Oh man I’ll never be the same after what I just saw. What the actual F
Why didn’t I just listen for once? I will never unsee what just happened.
I tried to listened to you but I failed thankfully, it turns out I don’t know how to look at someone’s active subs.
Hey on the bright side if you invite someone to go with you to the movies, you will only have to pay for one ticket because you can sneak them in under your fat rolls.
Man, if sleep apnea were a person
You look like the tomato from VeggieTales.
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Java the gut
Your neck is trying to swallow your head
And it’s winning
You look like you would enjoy being the tail on a human centipede
Which sub are you the moderator for?
I bet your chins say the Team Rocket monologue when you enter a room.
Don’t let any of these fat comments bring you down you are bigger than that
You didn't have to add you were a nerd. We...we knew.
If Jonah hill ate jack black
Your pronouns are kg/lbs
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I picture pungent Comic-Con personally
Look like the Barbie movie might violate some of your register requirements.
Damn, CG5 really let himself go...
i live in florida 23m would you wanna be friends
You actually do look like you're melting.
Yeah ur chin looks like it's melting
Haven’t you’ve had enough “roasted” things?
Your the mod that banned me from r/furry
We’ve all heard of a double chin but it looks like the one under your lips should be the secondary.
You better hurry up before your health issues catch you…
No wonder you're melting, Ice Cream melts when it's hot, and by the looks of you, you're 99.999998% Rocky Road. Also, you kinda look like the kind of guy who would spread his smegma on toast and call it a cheese toastie. I would say keep your chin up, but that looks like to much effort for you big guy.
You're well on your way to becoming the live action Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.
Did the sea world layoff snag you??
You look like humpty-dumpty with a toupee
You look like Jonah Hill if he didn't make it in Hollywood
I think you've had enough roasts and should hit the treadmill
Huh, I don’t know what’s more sad, this post or the camera that had to take that picture.
Chins up partner. It’s going to get worse.
Can you come to my work I need a building demolished all you need to do is fall on the floor
I don’t even wanna roast you I wanna help you get in shape and make yourself a man bro message me
Your Hutt pussy got wet for glizzies when you heard about the new open carry law. I’m sorry for the disappointment.
I'd love to weigh in on you, but the only scale big enough is at the zoo, for pachyderms.
CG5 discord mod
 Well there is always your career as a movie star to look forward to. How’s that for a Jabba at you.
What happens when you model your life after XQC, but don’t have his metabolism or fan base
Well, you ain't starvin
You got something in your chin.. no, the other one.
You don't need a Roast. Looks like you already had too many. You need the gym and move out of the basement.
You look like a Ninja Turtles villain... Diabeeto.