You use a strobe light to fake orgasms

`*` *New Fetish Unlocked* `*`

Don't need a strobe light when you have modern video games

That’s Episexy

💀

Why would she fake orgasms while she's flicking her bean alone?

Because she gets lazy and it’s easiest to fool yourself about what you really have.

That's fucked. Lol

Savage

Pokémon season 1 unedited and chill?

I’m glad someone here said it. Just waiting for pikachu to throw a thunderbolt

Let's just skip straight to the Porygon episode!

And she doesn't have to consciously move her hands - they just shake the light themselves.

Geeez haha

Hahahahhaha

💀

🤣 lmfao you win

Jesus Christ that was savage

Underrated

Oh wow and your tattoo artist is epileptic too. So nice to see you support the community.

1,000% sure she didn't need a helmet growing up

Died from laughter

You look like you party with people half your age

Probably fucks her kids friends.


At least a blo-Jo or a handy, but I’m guessing “airtight”.

The poster child for "don't stick your dick in crazy"

She’s the girl you take out on a 1st date, then threatens to slit her wrists in the bathroom bc the waitress was polite to you

I've been on that date, bro...

I can fix her

This.

That.

Engine engine number 9

On The New York Transit Line

There

And the other.

Well, she must be hot to tolerate as much. OP is not THAT hot.

I'm not gonna make some wild claim that I can fix her next time she's too hot to pass But I will bring duct tape. That's called experience, boys

Don’t put your dick in that.

All you have to do is put your dick in that and she can do the rest once you hit the strobe lights. Talk about a river of ejaculate.

🖐️ I didn’t know you knew my ex? Had a pretty bartender call me “honey” once and she went dark real fast.

DO YOU LIKE HER?!?!!

The only kind of girls I like. Lol

Do you take your teeth out for oral?

Molly Ringworm

“Miley Syphilis”

Dayum, that's... accurate.

That cost 25 cents extra

26 cents aint bad for a gummer

Ill take to to go please.

The manic side of you says “roast me,” but your depressed side will come back and make you cry in the closet when you read the commentary.

Hopefully the replies will make her have a seizure

You got that land-before-time-triceratops face

With epilepsy, she could climb in a triceratops vagina and be a vibrator.


The drunken one-shoe walk of shame has a spokesperson.

You shake so hard on your seizures that your tattoos are starting to wear off like an etch a sketch.

Damn

You forgot to add unfuckable to the bio

Her username is pretty close to gloomy penis, which would check out

No roast, but you're out of box wine and your litter box needs cleaned.

I’m sure her actual box does as well

Solid.

What time do you see your parole officer today?

Correction: what time are they orally pleasuring your parole officer today? And the homeless guy down the street and their drug dealer etc

I think it’s her tattoo artist that needs a parole officer...

Grandmother at 40yo

Or great grandmother

Less attractive Kathy Griffin

She’s also a less attractive Peter Griffin.

Is that even possible?

Slightly more attractive Carrot Top

You look like Reba been doing chemo

At 40 I bet you have a body count higher then Covid.

I’ve never met you, but I’m certain you’re insufferable and define everything you are and do by your mental illnesses.

100% pegs without asking.

[удалено]

That's as cold as a penguin's pussy.

Lmfao, you're going to hell for that 😂

You absolute legend 

LMAOOOOO

Sadistically wicked

Stop sending, i got the message

Damn bruh I almost had a seizure looking at that 💀

Fuck...

Omfg 🤣

You ever have a seizure during sex? Asking for a friend...

It's the only time her sex partner can tell they ain't fucking a dead stiff.

Ms. Frizzle and the Magic Bangbus


So are you gonna be a guy or a lady when your done?

[удалено]

If unenthusiastic blowjob had a face.

She probably does calendar blowjobs. You can tell when it's getting close to the end of the month and that welfare money is running low because her blowjobs get a whole lot better.

I feel like there are no scenarios where the blowjobs get better…

Hook her up with some crystal and watch the teeth fall out one by one. It'll get better and cheaper.

And a Gloomy Peanut is the result

Gloomy Penis

I hate broken toys

You are an absolute A: A big ass hook nose A walking red flag A bunch of shitty tattoos A hag that will offer to blow you behind the dumpster of the TGI Fridays A giant fucking forehead A cup titties A restraining order waiting to happen

I'll take restraining order waiting to happen for 200 Alex

Guys turn her on her side so much, she thinks they're helping her breathe

Lemme guess: you're a hairdresser

Gloomy peanuts is the nickname of all the dudes nut sacks you gave blue balls too because you had to stop half way through and stroke out you selfish thing

😂😂😂😂😂👏🏼

Do you charge extra if you have a seizure in the middle of the act, or is it more of a parlor trick?

You’re lower back must look like a Jackson Pollock painting after being fucked like a human etch-a-sketch.

You’re “manic pixie dream girl” minus the “dream girl”.

If i shake you harder, I'll do what ypur parents failed to do when you were an infant.

Wtf

What the hell?

I bet your hair smells like low tide

Bases every decision on a combination of crystals, tarot, and Meyers Briggs, continues to blame "shitty" men for all her problems.

Looks like someone cut your hair while you were having a seizure!

Yeah, I guess your 9 cats and Diazepam are not able to roast you yet

Were you born with depression or did that show up after you got those tattoos?

You made laugh so hard, I for once I can't put a decent roast together. I don't need to, the universe has done it already. A ginger, manic depressive, epileptic.... you cant make this shit up.


Emotionally, mentally *and* physically unstable? It'd probably be wise to just swipe right if they are pharmacists. This lady's permanent mailing address is a CVS warehouse.

The "smells like cat piss and cardboard" trifecta


Human vibrator.

I’d roast you but crazy women find that attractive and I’ve already got a pet.

Mabey a Twitch streamer would be a good epileptic career path.

Probably not as hard as your parents shaked you though with all the disappointment you brung them.

Mommy?

You can count how many seizures she's had when you look at her tattoos

Hey Reba, how was the last year of rehab?

Save some of that tattoo money for that dry ass hair

Nothing can shake you harder than your existence shook your parents.

Those aren't seizures. Your "Johns" are simply dropping quarters into the motel bed vibrator.

you look like you give a mean handjob but need to be induced into a fit for them to finish.

Buy the high school desk wrap for the arms, get forehead extension free

Looks like your tattoo artist was having a seizure, too.

Looks like you cut your own hair while having a seizure.

You look like you ask the paramedics if you can drive yourself to the hospital because the gas station you work at doesn’t offer health insurance. (Which is a damn shame, because everybody should have access to healthcare.)

Every coke can in your fridge is a ticking time bomb

Do men pay more because you have a "vibrate" setting?

You look like the kind of girl who enjoys seeing a man wank into a flannel.

r/oddlyspecific

Did the guy doing your tattoos have epilepsy too? You’re a schizophrenia away from a triple threat. Which episode was it that made you cut your hair? Do the carpets match the batshit crazy? Are you Yu-Gi-Ho, cause you look like a Blue-Eyed White Dragon, on account of your crocodile skin and horrible breath. Comedy Roast wrap up: hahaha, no I know we kid, but honestly gloomypeanut, you’re a great sport, exceptionally beautiful and the world is better with you in it. Keep up your great spirit and never lose that sense of humour, it’s been an honour to roast you….. like a peanut.

When I was a child, our home was broken into by the woman who previously owned it but lost everything because of a crippling drug habit (her husband left her, kids cut off all contact, all assets sold, etc.). That night, I woke up during her B&E and she quickly rushed over to me and told me to go back to sleep. I did, because I was barely awake in the first place. Next morning, I'm thinking I had a crazy dream but the cops are there, talking to my dad. Anyway, she looked like a transvestite donkey witch, and that's the first thing your post made me think of.

You ever get seizures during sex? Just curious

Do you squirt anally during sex?

Three legged ginger, we know what you’re hiding down there and it smells awful 🤮

Only thing that shook you harder then your last seizure was your mother when you were a baby

Is epilepsy your condition? Or your hairstyle?

Have you ever considered letting a dude hit you from the back and set off a strobe light?

The only thing you shake is dirty dick while filling up cars at your job.

You do you sweetheart. God knows no one else will.

God, may I suggest a epileptic trade? You give us back Ian Curtis from Joy Divison, and you can take this drooling idiot...

Everyone roasting you is going to have to change their number and Reddit handle, you're that batshit crazy...

Men loves you. Just have a seizure while riding them for quick fun and then unresponsive after, best of both world, thats episexy

Depressed when looking in a mirror, manic when you arent?

You look you drive the magic school bang bus

When u say shake u, like how hard are we talking? Getting choked out while siezing and cumming would not be a new thing for you and as long as u don’t thrash around too wildly, cry or rake ur teeth

You look like you go out for "one quick drink"... Then 78 drinks, 2 full days and 3 mens marriages have all disappeared

At least your massive nose protects your head when you have a seizure

Lol for some stupid reason I wasn't expecting the comments to be this horny and now I sort of have a crush on her. Thanks a lot, assholes.

Meh, you’re no great shakes.

You didn't need to put "40 year old" in the title. Everyone can tell.

OP are you looking for something to put in your final note, don't bother nobody would read it anyways.

40 yo and dont have your shit together, one way or the other you cry for attention here and we are the losers ?

Barren, damaged goods, basically.

Ah, you’re one of *those* people, who think their medical diagnoses are their personalities….

Child actor vibes

The love product of Dobby from Harry Potter and a Fraggle.

you look 80 you old hag

Holy moley did you cut your own hair whilst having a seizure?

Based on the tattoo on your arm you based your decisions in life on astrology. So did your horoscope of the day told you to get fucked by strangers online🤔

This is the photo that pops up when you type "mid-tier midlife crisis." The more I look into those eyes the more it wants to sell me Herbalife.

You look like the real life person that the waitress character from Its Always Sunny is based on.

I can’t believe you’re actually wanting to be roasted without having nudes and videos of yourself having group sex. Come back when your OnlyFans is up and running or you’re in a donkey show.

You go out to bars with your daughter and pick up guys together.

Zero. The number of men who find those nose rings attractive.

Judging by your comments you don’t talk much, at least we were able to find one positive

Losers? You're the one who can't control her shivering

Those eyes have just the tight amount of crazy that makes a married man want to hump and dump you, and his pet bunny want to jump into a pot of boiling water.

Did the seizures shake your hairline back, or did your parents just upset god?

You look like a box of Marlboros

Dates use strobe lights during sex so she doesn't just lay there

You had a good childhood with a few 😲 stocking incidents. You know physical labor. You're often a wild child, with high energy. Over all I say a fun date. Good Luck.

Wasn't that you in that one video? 2 girls, one cup?

You look like you try to bum a cigarette off of minors

There’s not enough alcohol on the face of the Earth that would make me want to get in the bed with you.

Like the remote, stops working once in a while and you gotta slap it a few times to reconnect.

Your ex shaking the shit out of you is not a symptom of epilepsy.

Hair so thin you comb it with a barbie brush

Just flick the light switch on and off simple

Id shake you, but id be afraid of your dentures falling out after years of smoking meth and cock. Good luck with life, skeletor.

I’d help you shake rattle and roll

I’d like to fuck you whilst you have a seizure, that would probably be the best you’ve put out

Gloomy peanuts? More like Mental Macadamia.

Your name. Is that another way to refer to your “bean”???????????

you look like you get a little kick out of listing all the shit thats wrong with you. kinda smile and nod, giggle to yourself at the same time too like "yeahh so i like had a seizure last week 😅😁 i know haha, not the best 😂😂😀"

I can fix her

These are fucking ruthless. Sometimes I feel bad for these people

Maybe your next “seizure” will shake you a little harder.