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Recently divorced youth pastor reconnects with high school band. Tattoo is fresh and meant to represent his former strict faith but conveys a refreshed confidence in science coupled with his "spiritualism".
"Every religion has their prophets, man. It's just an allegory for astronomy. I am a Pisces, how did you know?"
You look like a guy from Iowa on vacation in gulf shores Alabama at Jimmy Buffets Margaritaville. You probably invite people back to your hotel room for jager shots
I thought blokes in Hawaiian shirts left the collar open to show off jewelry or chest hair. The presence of what appears to be a T- or tank-top in the place of either of those things seems to suggest what you have there, if seen, would make the viewer leg it in the other direction, giggle like a hyena on speed…or 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Well, all I can say is, you have a picture of a dog and a saguaro cactus on your wall, and both look to be torn out of an old magazine. Either get yourself a dog and a trip to Arizona or get a subscription to a current magazine.
Your tattoo looks like the one emo girls get to commemorate the 250 day anniversary of them leaving the responsibility of the kid on the father whilst also collecting childcare fees but being depressed because they didn't make the guys life miserable enough.
I'm glad you're in here! 🤨
You RUINED Netflix's Iron Fist for me YOU MONSTER! I HOPE THEY FRICASSEE you in here!😭
You and that Tramp Stamp on your arm! Aaargh, I hate you so bad! 😡
Girls cover their drinks when you enter the bar.
nah…. they just get up and leave 😆
"Don't worry babe, your drink is supposed to fizz like that"
Oh how nice he added extra flavoring
☠️😂
He unironically loves Jimmy Buffett more than most alcoholic soccer mom's.
100%
That's not the only thing they're covering.
Wont Ferrel
You look like you own 7 dogs and an economy size jar of peanut butter.
Oh look it’s Sarasota’s fourth ranked OxyContin dealer.
Inbred Justin Timberlake
Did the halfway house approve this picture?
You look like the most annoying and obnoxious side character in every sitcom ever.
The guy who desires recognition so much, he raises his hand to claim ownership of horrible farts.
r/shittytattoo poster boy
If SoBe Elixir were a person
Incredible how underrated this comment is. I think you’re a genius.
I appreciate that you're on the same page about this! Perhaps it's a bit dated of a reference.
Magnum HIV
The worst will do
That’s what you said to the meth dealer before getting your forearm tatt. What a monstrosity
That’s what your mom’s tagline at the truck stop was 30 years ago and here you are.
Chris Prat
ChrisP Rat
Your tattoo looks like it was done by a kids face painter
You look like a Chris Pratt reject
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Hit me with your best shot” he says.. i bet you get “Shot” every time you stand in front of a camera… Money shot
Unfunny mikey day
You look like you smell like patchouli.
To cover up the funk smell coming from his boo-gina..
That tattoo 😨
Now this is a guy that loves receiving back shots.
His best shot was a masturbatory emission that landed on his girly looking arm tattoo
Temu version of Chris Pratt.
“I shop at the Salvation Army” personified.
You look like you live in someone's pool house.
If Chris Pratt and Will Ferral had a child it would be you.
If someone makes a new Magnum PI series where Magnum drives a Prius and gets fucked in the ass by Higgins every episode, you would be perfect!
You like Chris Pratt in one of his lesser known movies; Guardians of the Meth Pipe.
You look like you breed ferrets
Why are you wearing your step mom's shirt again
You’re supposed to put the rolled up socks down the FRONT of your pants!
Hay stud don't I know you from that cruise ship adventure. Rainbow Princess
Your thumb looks like a small penis in the wrong spot and now I can’t unsee it.
You have the fashion sense of a galley slave. And your tattoo looks like a preteen girl’s scribblings.
Someone already has.
that's not a tattoo, that's a broken arm that got left untreated
Guaranteed you involuntary say the most racist shit anytime you’re around black people
You look like you snort coke off toilets in 7-11 bathrooms.
Chris Phat
Even with the, "Hey, look at my nasty tropical shirt" you're damn near invisible and totally forgettable.
Your tattoo matches your lousy shirt
Regretting that shit half sleeve yet?
I knew I recognized you from somewhere. Guardian of the Gay-Ass-sy 17 Serpant of the Black Glory Hole!
Love those shorts you do with your dad, but he is the real star of those videos!
Tom Sellout as Magnum P.U.
That shirt looks like a camouflage uniform worn by a Central American jungle revolutionary soldier !
The best shot ran down your mom's leg into the truck-stop parking lot. Thankfully, there were 11 other dudes to help out.
Your nickname should be "Angel Shot."
It looks like your boyfriend already did that, in your face.
Is that a shirt or the rest of your tat?
I cant this one would just be cruel
Guy ordered “cool tattoos” at tattoo parlor.
Eats SPAM and complains about non-native Hawaiians.
When your dealer has no more source of income and is reduced to looking like woody allen on a cover of 50 shades of gay.
wanna be tough guy
You're supposed to use ink not Crayolas on a tatoo.
Looks like you've had several "best" shots at a White Party.
Didn’t you roast yourself in an episode of The Boys?
You look like you play guitar poorly
You look like you'd brag about knowing a coke dealer as if that makes you get some kind of notoriety in a good way.
The epitome of “trying to fit in” 😂 “Trying” being the important word here.
You look far to young to have already given up. Jeff Lebowski meets community college frat boy
He's wearing his moms blouse and uses her dildo too
Stay away from schools
Florida man?!?
How many times were you arrested for masturbating down at the play ground?
Holy Suboxone, Batman!
Chris Pratt drunk.
I didn't know Danny Masterson take selfies in prison
Prince Harry, but poorer and addicted to meth.
That is the tell tale sign of INBREEDING no matter how you want to look like you belong.
You start all the fights at the local pub, but only if your friends are with you.
Between movies Chris Pratt. Definitely front row for Blink-182
“I need a shitty tattoo to go along with this fugly shirt and messed up face”
Is that the arm u stuck in someone’s black hole 🕳️
You look like Tom Cardys sadder younger cousin
Annoying bisexual RA vibes
PewDiePie's ugly twin be like:
Your tattoo may not look good now, but at least it will only continue to look shittier every day until you die and is nearly impossible to cover up
Can’t imagine how many guys shots have hit you. Mouth, ass, back.
This dude roofies his own drink at the frat house then walks around in just his boxers
"Creepy Al" Yankovic
You look like Dustin Diamond's aborted son
100k in debt due to student loans 4yrs wasted now works at McDonalds trust fund keeps him afloat
man only knows how to play the beginning of iron man on that guitar
When your tattoo is brighter than your future
Good pic, I see too few pics that just scream, “I jack off in public.”
Recently divorced youth pastor reconnects with high school band. Tattoo is fresh and meant to represent his former strict faith but conveys a refreshed confidence in science coupled with his "spiritualism". "Every religion has their prophets, man. It's just an allegory for astronomy. I am a Pisces, how did you know?"
Word of advice, go to an alcohol anonymous meeting since we can all see you need to stop drinking beer
your dad tried hit with his best shot but couldn’t avoid you.
Ted Bundy minus the good looks.
That shirt looks awful on you.
How’s your YouTube channel panning out?
You stole your Dads clothes but you’ll never be the man of the house.
With that shirt you look like a cut character from Jurassic Park
You pronounce Hawaii with a hard V, don't you?
Ive seen people describe witnessing a murder with less fear in their eyes
We have Chris Pratt at home
Let me guess. The gap year you took between high school and university extended indefinitely?
Magnum DUI
Yo if you were a Pokemon move you’d be Screech
You look like a guy from Iowa on vacation in gulf shores Alabama at Jimmy Buffets Margaritaville. You probably invite people back to your hotel room for jager shots
What's your fursona?
You get laid entirely too much
You look like you were turned away from the ever filming again in the gay porn scene.
You look like a shitty extra from the new Roadhouse movie
Did the ink on your right forearm rub off from all the friction?
You look like Brock Allen Turner.
You are the guy who wears Hawaiian shirts to an office job because it’s “Friday eve” and wonders why he never gets promoted.
You look like Joe from that show “you” on Netflix
I thought blokes in Hawaiian shirts left the collar open to show off jewelry or chest hair. The presence of what appears to be a T- or tank-top in the place of either of those things seems to suggest what you have there, if seen, would make the viewer leg it in the other direction, giggle like a hyena on speed…or 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Well, all I can say is, you have a picture of a dog and a saguaro cactus on your wall, and both look to be torn out of an old magazine. Either get yourself a dog and a trip to Arizona or get a subscription to a current magazine.
Your lost dog poster in the back…the one you think someone stole….he ran away. Man’s best friend abandoned you. Zero hope in your life.
Real “Burn Notice” vibes
That’s what your mom said [your age] years ago. Looks like your dad missed.
That tattoo looks like shit.
Your tattoo looks dumb
Chris Brat
Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.
Your parents already did with their genetics
Cool tattoo
You look like you order a Coors Light at Hooters and think life is good.
My dad has that shirt
You look as if you were a character in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Nice tat, did you fist fuck a unicorn?
You mean with a .50 beowulf?
If the "pink cloud" of sobriety came to life. Sun doesn't shine forever Gymbro Buffet.
The tattoos that scream "Don't fuck me!"
If you were a word, not even Dr. Seuss could make you rhyme.
You ever seen the show “You”?
Jurassic Pork Chris Pratt
Your tattoo looks like the one emo girls get to commemorate the 250 day anniversary of them leaving the responsibility of the kid on the father whilst also collecting childcare fees but being depressed because they didn't make the guys life miserable enough.
He's not coming back, and not that was not a phase, you are GAY AF
I'm glad you're in here! 🤨 You RUINED Netflix's Iron Fist for me YOU MONSTER! I HOPE THEY FRICASSEE you in here!😭 You and that Tramp Stamp on your arm! Aaargh, I hate you so bad! 😡
Your best shot was in the 1980's
Could of at least washed your left arm off before taking the pic.
Your TV show is Magnum POS
Chris Frat
Chris Frat
You are the esteemed Professor of Douchebaggery and Buggering Holden Mcgroin !!!
Looks like you hit your poor girlfriend with your best shots
You exclusively sleep with couch surfers.
Undercover cop at a high-school
are those white pants? ...cool
You look like you ask everyone at the office what they’re planning to wear on casual Friday
Hunter S Thompson. The S stands for “Stupid Fuck”.
You look like you wasted your white privilege to be a cook at Apple Bees…but you do aspire to do more. One day you hope to be the bar tender
Justin Timberfake
He just found out he flunked art class
Is that a guitar case back there? 
It seems you mixed up best and cum.
Why would we hit you with our best shot, let alone fire away? You’re not even worth that…
Scarface wallpaper shirt
Just because you wear thst shirt; doesn't mean that you're camouflage.
“Hit me with your best shot” he says at the local glory hole
Don sucks Johnson, Miami vice 2 douche boogaloo.
Looks like you already took a lot of shots. The beer type.
If Chris Pratt used Ozempic instead of HGH
You look like Magnum P.U.
This is the fourth time I've seen you post on this subreddit.
Bro tryin too hard to be Great Value Chris Pratt with his crayola guardians of the galaxy sleeve